Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A is A

Gridlocked

Chapter 1

Gen. Hammond walked to the small monitor in the conference room. “In light of the success of the operation in Fiore, the Pentagon has determined that MV teams operating on their own can be successful in pursuit of their missions. Owing to the relative inexperience in, shall we say, ‘anomalous’ contact though, the Joint Chiefs have emphasized that multiple teams be sent on all missions for the time being.”

“You’ll all be going out equipped with the Mark 1 Lacrima Compact Storage System,” Carter said, holding up a lacrima in a rubber case. “Remember; ammunition is gray, food is green, medical is red, and anything you might need for scientific reasons is blue.”

Campbell nodded, tapping on his example and pulling out a “chili mac” MRE. “Better than soy cakes, ma’am.”

“We’ve identified the first location for your arrival,” Gen. Hammond said, turning on the monitor. “MALP showed a large cityscape, but we have no frame of reference for it.”

Campbell, Sunset, and Alice leaned in to see the MALP rolling through an alley, camera up and rotating among large brick and concrete buildings. “It’s similar to what you’ll see in Canterlot, those buildings look a little older though.”

“That was our thought as well,” Gen. Hammond said. “You’ll all go in as civilians, make a short recon mission before returning with any available information.”

“And hopefully you’ll give me more useful notes than this,” Daniel said, flipping through a torn and scratched-out notebook. “I particularly like this page here that’s filled with curses directed at me.” Daniel looked up at Campbell with raised eyebrows.

“Dr. Jackson is right, we need cultural information if we’re to make a firm determination on how to better ingratiate ourselves with any possible friendlies in these new dimensions.” Gen. Hammond took his seat at the head of the table and looked over the three team leaders. “All of you and your teams are advised to keep that in mind. Maj. Davis is using this to make a strong case that the program is worthwhile to keep under our aegis despite NID efforts.”

Sunset rolled her eyes. “What’s with these NID guys anyway? Do they really think that we’ll bring back something that can magically solve all their problems with the Goa’uld?”

“A conspiracy like that doesn’t just want a weapon,” Alice said with a knowing look. “They want power, authority, the means to control anything and everything under their gaze.”

Campbell let out a breath. “Lovely image.”

“We’ll continue to handle the NID,” Gen. Hammond said. “The Tok’ra resistance have contacted us as well, a major Goa’uld event is apparently in the making. We can only make the necessary preparations for that if you all focus on the mission at hand. Good luck.”

Zipping up in the locker room, Campbell looked over the teams and clapped his hands. “Alright, teams, gather round.” Everyone paused as they checked over their gear, staring at Campbell expectantly. “Now, I know the lot of us have a ways to go before we make it to a level of respectability for Sen. Kinsey. That’s not what I’m concerned about. What I care about is that we carry out our mission and do it well.”

Applejack grinned. “That include tickin’ off Dr. Jackson?”

Campbell shook his head as a chuckle worked through the room. “Aye, we’ll be marking culture and such from now on the side. Rarity, you have your camera?” Rarity smiled and held up her purple camera. “Good. Simple reconnaissance for now; go in, explore a bit, leave for home. Any questions?” Silence. “Aye, good then. Sunset, can I see you to the side? Lt. Malvin, make sure they’re all prepared.”

Following Campbell to the side, Sunset kept her voice low. “You want to ask me about Fluttershy and Twilight.”

Campbell blinked. “When did you read my mind?”

Sunset grinned. “Didn’t have to.”

Campbell nodded. “Aye, and you can’t blame me for asking. Those two blinked back in Magnolia, I can’t afford to have them blink again.”

“I know, but you saw them come back for us when the mirror opened during the final fight with Acnologia.” Sunset’s face was firm as she stared back at Campbell. “They won’t blink, not this time.”

Campbell sighed. “Proof in the pudding then. Remember, if they need to be pulled I will not hesitate.”

“I wouldn’t expect you too.”

Campbell smiled, patting Sunset on the shoulder before walking back to the locker room. “Alright, let’s arm up and get to the gate room, twenty minutes.”

MV-4 carried their own weapons they were issued from the EU, the rest of the teams had to make do with gear from the SGC until negotiations for firearms could be nailed down. Alice was quadruple-checking her holster, she didn’t want to face another glare from the armorer after losing her P90 back in Hargeon. Sunset, Applejack, and Rarity carried M9s, but the rest of the girls had chosen not to carry any weapons. No one had argued after seeing Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Twilight after the fight against Acnologia.

As the gate dialed up for the mirror, Carter smiled at the assembled teams. “Ready?”

“Not really,” Campbell mused. “Still, this probably won’t be as bad as the fighting in Berlin.”

Carter tilted her head. “What happened in Berlin?”

“Oh, well, half a glacial wall coming down, doesn’t care who’s in the way.” Campbell shrugged. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Carter nodded awkwardly.

“Chevron seven, locked!”

The distinctive whoosh of the gate reverberated through the room, and Gen. Hammond came over the speaker. “MV-4, 7, and 9, you have a go. Godspeed.”

“Be back soon sir! Sergeant, have the platoon take the point and secure the area. Cpl. Kavanaugh, take the rear. Move!” The platoon charged up and through the gate, holsters ready. “Lt. Malvin, take your team.” Alice nodded, and charged through with her men. “Sunset, lead them through.” Sunset grinned and counted before following through herself. Giving one last salute to Gen. Hammond, Campbell followed Kavanaugh through the gate.

Something was wrong. By now Campbell was used to the gate being a straight shot ball of light. This was not the same. There were places branching off the “path”, and given how gate travel between the universes usually was there was no means to control it. Whether he really was careening around the path, or he was just imagining it in his head to make up for what he couldn’t sense, he thought he heard himself screaming out for the teams before he went straight through a ball of light.

Enoch blinked. “What was that?”

The monitor shook her head. “Unknown sir, it was as if the signatures split up on their way.”

“Possible interference?”

The monitor checked her console. “Possible sir, there are multiple dimensional breaches from and even through this one.”

“Confirmed sir,” Sarah said, locked onto her console. “I count minimum three major breaches of the dimensional fabric as well as multiple smaller breaches. A dozen at least, trying to determine the specifics.”

“Track this,” Enoch said. “Record all activity and if a signature vanishes.”

Sarah nodded and set to her work. “Understood sir.”

Enoch turned to the monitor. “Have your team assist her in any way she asks, above all ensure that signal remains uninterrupted.” As the monitor started issuing orders, Enoch went to his own office and began compiling information. Kane would need to know about whatever happened next, and if he failed in gathering everything possible? He was failing the Brotherhood and his prophet. Kane had a vision, but actually intelligence was the only thing that could carry it to reality.

Grabbing a notebook, he started compiling everything that happened next.

Crashing. Grinding. Metal being torn and mangled. Every so often a low electric hum. Sunset blinked and shook out the cobwebs to look around. It was a junkyard, faded cars and stacks of rusting machines towering over her. Pushing herself off the dirt, she took a knee and tried to orient herself. She was on solid ground, that was a start. The sky was blue, at least where it peeked through the gray, and there was a good chance that if there was machinery working, there were people.

“People,” she realized. She almost called out, until she remembered that if there was someone or something hostile around, she’d just point herself out. Taking a breath, she reached out with her mind. “Is anyone there? It’s Sunset! Any MV team members, please talk to me!”

“Noch funf, bitte,” Gantz thought. “Warten sie, warum ist die andere stimme in meinem gehirn englisch?”

“It’s Bacon-Head,” Becker grumbled, Sunset frowning at his use of Hekapoo’s name for her. “This doesn’t look like a city.”

“Hello? Where are you guys?”

Before Sunset could answer, Gantz cut in. “Oland? We don’t know, Sunset is linking us. Can you spot any landmarks?”

“Just towers of machines, they look like autos.” Randel turned and shook his head. “Should I try and find you guys?”

Becker nixed the idea. “No, stay where you are and we’ll come to you. Sunset, can you track him somehow?”

Sunset nodded. “I’ll do my best to try and link us all together. Hang on.” Reaching out, Sunset could roughly measure the distance between them all. Gantz was closest to her, just behind a mountain of rusted metal. “Alright, I’ll meet up with Gantz and we’ll try to get to you both. Just hang on.” Making her way through the piles of rust and trying to avoid slicing herself open, Sunset noticed how dull this world seemed. The cars sat lifeless, like aged faces waiting for their turn to be handled.

“Sunset,” Gantz shouted, his voice echoing close. “Sunset, how close are you?”

“Here, I’m right here,” Sunset shouted, rushing to Gantz’s voice. “Oh man, what happened? I couldn’t reach anyone else and I can’t sense the girls, do you think we’re cut off?”

“No idea,” Gantz said, his voice and the sounds of metal clanking coming closer. “Right now we just need to meet and come up with a plan.”

Sunset had been smiling, but then Gantz came into view. His body wasn’t warped or wounded, he wasn’t gushing blood and he hadn’t grown a second head. It was that his body was different. It looked oddly filled, like someone had taken individual pieces of his reality and built him up from them. He was even duller than the surrounding colors, which said a lot. Even his close-cropped black hair looked angled somehow.

That was when Sunset realized he was giving her the same look.

“Sunset,” he whispered, staring at her. “I think something has gone very, very wrong.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, no, nononono!” She curled up and started shuddering. “This isn’t what was supposed to happen, why aren’t we together? How could we have been split up?”

Van der Burgh shrugged as she checked her revolver. “You’re taking this better than I expected.”

Twilight pulled at her hair. “How are you not panicking right now!”

“We scattered, that’s all,” Van der Burgh said, flipping the revolver shut and holstering it beneath her jacket. “Once we figure out where we are on this world we can start figuring out a plan to go home. Hit your bracelet, get back to the SGC and tell them what’s happened.

Twilight nodded and tapped her bracelet. Then she tapped it again. Then again, then a few more times, then she started tapping at it so hard Van der Burgh was worried it would break. “Why isn’t it working!”

Van der Burgh raised an eyebrow and brought out one of her ammo lacrima. Tapping it, she brought out a fresh revolver cylinder and put it back. “So it’s just the recall lacrima. You’re a junior scientist, what does that mean?”

“It must mean there’s something wrong with the dimensional fabric,” Twilight said, calming down with a problem to occupy her mind. “Something about this entire dimension must be wrong if it’s interfering with the lacrima.”

“Which would also explain why you look like a cartoon and I look normal.” Twilight paused and turned to stare and Van der Burgh. “Okay, normal for me.”

“Hello?” An American voice came from the other end of the alleyway. Van der Burgh stood before Twilight, hand slowly creeping toward her jacket. “Did you hear about what happened in Magnolia?”

Van der Burgh paused. “What happened in Magnolia?”

The voice became German. “The MVTF stopped a dragon.” Vogt came into view, looking like Van der Burgh. “Are you both alright?”

“As we can be,” Van der Burgh said. “The lacrima aren’t working, Twilight can’t get home.”

“Not the least of our problems,” Vogt said, motioning to the street. “Come look at this.”

“Okay, this is just too much,” Applejack said, gesturing to Campbell and Baker. “I mean look at y’all! You two look like you’re something else”

Campbell nodded, sizing up Applejack. “Aye, you look like something that came from CalArts.” Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Later. Right now, it’s focus on finding where we are. From the looks of this we’re in a kind of generic American town.”

A plain four-door sedan rolled by, blue with windows that didn’t let you look inside. “So generic you don’t know who’s who,” Baker mused. “But it certainly looks like a cartoon of some kind. Which one do you think?”

“Certainly not one from the later decades,” Campbell observed. “Applejack, do you see anything?”

“Well, maybe I’m going crazy,” she said, looking down from the hill they were on. “But it looks like a building made out of a hat?” Campbell and Baker went over and nodded. “Is that a good sign?”

Campbell grinned. “One of the best,” he laughed. “C’mon, first is on me.”

“So we all look like we’re from our home dimensions, but the buildings around us look like they’re back from the SGC.” Rarity shook her head. “It’s rather perplexing isn’t it.”

“Oh aye,” Kavanaugh said, poking at himself and staring at the building. “Just wish we had a way to figure out where the bloody hell we were.”

“It looks like the mid-20^th century,” Lisowski said, Scholz watching the street around them. “Everyone’s dressed like the historical pictures of America in the 1930s and 1940s.”

“Which could mean trouble for us if this is an alternate America,” Kavanaugh mused. “What do the people look like?”

“Like SG-1’s home dimension,” Scholz said. “Wait, there’s a police car coming around…Mein Gott,” Scholz whispered. “Los Angeles, we’re in a version of Los Angeles.”

“Alright, maybe there’s a way to figure out to grab a newspaper.” Kavanaugh made sure to hide his holster as much as he could. “Let’s move.”

Fluttershy kept her eyes half-shut as the wind whipped around her. “I don’t understand,” she shouted. “Are we in a desert?”

“I don’t think so,” Lee shouted. “Unless we’re on the gulf, there’s no reason for any desert to have buildings as high as those in the distance in the center of it.”

“An oasis maybe?” Brodeur and Martis both held their jackets over their heads. “Perhaps it’s some kind of petrochemical economy?”

“We’ll have to try to get there, if we’re steady and don’t exert ourselves we should reach there before nightfall. Are any of you hurt?” Everyone shook their heads. “Very good then, off we go.”

Trudging through the dirt of the wastelands, Fluttershy stumbled a few times over the small dunes. Each time Brodeur or Martis helped her up, a small smile on their faces. “C’mon Fluttershy,” Martis said after the latest tumble. “I know it’s not good terrain but there’s no reason we can’t can’t it.”

Fluttershy smiled back, but seconds later was blinded by a piece of paper blowing in her face. Pulling it off, she turned to Brodeur. “Mr. Brodeur, look! Maybe this helps?”

Brodeur turned, but went pale at the sight of the paper. “Mon Dieu,” he gasped. “Lee!” Lee turned, and giving the same expression clamped his hand to his mouth.

Rainbow landed. “Nothing for at least a mile, just more desert.”

Alice wiped off her brow. “This place is just an oven, how can there be anything out here?”

“You’d be surprised how much is you can find in a desert,” Belenko said, scanning the horizon. “There’s some high ground that way. We’ll get a better look from above and try to plot a course from there.” A short walk later, and the four were clambering up the mountainside. Well, three were as Rainbow raced to the top. “I win!”

“This isn’t a race,” Garcia shouted. “You need to save your energy, we don’t know how far this desert stretches. If you run too fast for too long, you’ll give out when we might need you.”

“Uh, magic pendant remember?” Rainbow grinned as she held up her necklace. “With this baby here, I can probably go forever and not get tired.”

“Черепаха і волосся,” Belenko grumbled. Finally reaching the top of the outcrop, the four scanned the horizon for any trace of civilization. What they saw was impact craters and scorch marks scattered everywhere.

“What is this place,” Alice whispered. “Some kind of battlefield?”

Belenko stared at the sight of a skeleton, and shook her head. “Worse,” she whispered. The body was dressed in bright cloth, and on the chest of the remains a torn, faded symbol. “We’re in a graveyard.”

Pinkie eagerly looked around everything in the city park, laughing as she went. “Wow, look at this! It’s like I look the closest to where we are!”

“Mazeltof,” Schneider said, already rubbing her temples. “Corporal, anything?”

“Well it’s a city, fairly developed,” Durand said, gazing around at the buildings. “By the noise we’re theoretically in the late 20^th, even early 21^st century. We’ll need to find a map. Might be hard, given how different we appear.”

“There’s no other way to tell right now though,” Russo said, scanning the cityscape. “Only way to find out where we are might just be to ask.”

“That presumes no one panics at the sight of us,” Durand mused. “But unless we find a newspaper we have no other options. Ask, but if they panic knock them out and fall back.”

Pinkie leaned into Durand’s personal space. “Hey, that seems a little like something Parker would do, buster.”

“In some cases, Parker’s way of doing things is the right idea,” Durand said. “If the authorities are called, we may have no choice but to go into the nearest cover and try to form a new plan of escape with these disabled.” He tapped on the lacrima.

“He’s got an answer,” Schneider said, looking confused. “He also looks…frightened? No, not frightened. He does look distressed, that’s better.”

Russo walked back to the three, and without speaking sat down under a tree and just stared ahead. Durand looked to Schneider and Pinkie before saying anything. “Well?”

“Newspaper,” he said, holding up a copy. Pinkie leaned in and shook her head at Russo. “That is the saddest attempt at a funny face I’ve ever seen.”

“This is too weird,” Oreldo said, staring at Ricci. “You’re sure about this?”

“Beyond sure,” Ricci said, hurrying down the sidewalk. “This is part of where she comes from, part of why we know who she is. The thing is how? And if we are split up, does she know why? And why is there so much in every window about some kind of economic development project,” Ricci pointed out. “What about this area makes it so good for agricultural development?”

Oreldo spoke up. “Why do you care so much about economic development?”

“Trust us, where we’re from you learn a lot about food very early in life.” There was something that stood out ahead. A figure, different from the area and everyone in it. Jogging over, Ricci’s face went from concerned to near-panicked. “Sergeant?” He nervously tapped her shoulder. “Sergeant, are you alright?”

Weber turned, revealing a manic grin.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2: Ernie’s Disposal, The Wasteland, Danville

 “Alright, the four of us are here, wherever that is.” Sunset turned and gazed through the scrap heaps. “Places like this are usually fenced in right? All we need to do is find the fence or someone who works here and we’ll at least start figuring out where we are.”

“Good thing too,” Randel whispered. “This place gives me the creeps.”

“Even better reason to get out,” Sunset thought to herself. “It’s okay Randel, we’ll find a way to get everyone back together. C’mon, let’s get moving.”

The junkyard was near-silent. The only sounds were of a massive machine in the distance at work crushing metal. The four could barely go three feet without being forced to navigate around, and the narrow channels between the junk were so haphazard that Sunset was half-sure that she’d been turned around. Worse was the feeling of hopelessness starting to creep up on her. “No, it’s not hopelessness,” she thought, looking around. “It’s like I don’t matter, like nothing matters.”

The feeling edged off. It was slight, but definitely noticeable. Then it edged off again, and the closer she was to the noise it simultaneously grew stronger as it edged off more sharply. “Hey, how many people do you all think it takes to run a place like this?”

“Not many,” Randel said. “All you need is a good fence, and even then the only reason people are stealing anything is for scrap.”

Sunset nodded, but as she walked she kept feeling it, the same sensation over and over. Worthless. “There’s someone else here,” she whispered. “I’m gonna try and reach out and see who they are.”

“We’ll cover you,” Becker said, the three men kneeling down and drawing their weapons. Shutting her eyes, Sunset clutched her necklace and felt.

Worthless.

CRUNCH

Worthless

CRUNCH

Worthless

CRUNCH

“I’ve got something,” Sunset whispered, wincing. “Under pressure. Can’t take another road.” She blinked. “It’s gone now?”

Becker and Gantz shared a look. “What else?”

Sunset reached out again and felt another voice. “Can’t move? No, can’t start. No heart, can’t go fast? The past is gone?” Sunset blinked.

Becker hung his head. “Nothing you can do about it.”

“Pardon me while I panic.” Gantz turned to Sunset. “Can you close yourself off?”

“I don't know, but…” Sunset froze. “There’s another one, he doesn’t want to go.” Sunset looked around. “It’s like he’s remembering, thinking about the past! We have to find him before -- ” She froze. “No, he’s…He’s gone too?”

“We’re moving,” Becker said. “Hurry, before we get to the wedding.”

“What?” Sunset glared at the two. “You both know what’s going on?”

“Right now you’re hearing someone wonder how close they came,” Gantz mused. “Now it’s that they realized they were the peak and they missed their chance.” He held out a hand to Sunset. “You need to cut off your mind.”

“No, no we can help them,” Sunset shouted. “Randel, you need to help me find whoever’s doing this!”

Becker shook his head. “She’s not going to understand is she?”

Gantz took out a compass and oriented it. “We have a rough bearing. We’ll find an employee and see about getting to the nearest city.”

Randel looked between Sunset and the two troopers. “But what’s she sensing? Shouldn’t we be worried about this?”

“She’s sensing the cars,” Gatnz said, adjusting his sling and walking on. “We know this place, it’s a junkyard. Everything here is worn out and ready to die. She’s just unlucky enough to be feeling their emotions as they’re compacted.”

Sunset kept scrambling over the piles of scrap and looking around with wide, manic eyes. “No, these are people! You’re right, they’re talking about the wedding! No, another one is going on about a funeral and…” Sunset’s right hand grabbed at her hair. “They’re both gone too.”

Randel looked to the two men. “How do you know this?”

“We’re in a dimension that almost exactly matches up with a movie from our childhood,” Becker said, almost like he was talking about the time of day. “Here appliances have emotions, feelings. She’s either got to be selective about her abilities or shut them off entirely.”

“No, I can sense them all, they’re too human!” Looking around atop a small pile of scrap, Sunset pointed. “There, I can feel one in the car under that crane!” Sprinting, Sunset didn’t notice Becker and Gantz taking their sweet time following her. “She’s in the car, we have to get her -- ” Sunset froze as another car was crushed. “She’s…She’s…”

“It wasn’t a human being,” Gantz said, gently putting a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. Sunset spun around, glaring up at Gantz. “Look, either you shut your abilities off or you’ll drive yourself crazy, this isn’t the place to have them on.”

“How can you not care,” Sunset shouted. “There are people in these cars! There’s another one, he’s older and he’s talking about where he worked! He’s…” Sunset froze. “He’s sad and he’s…”

“He’s choosing to accept his fate.” Everyone turned at the sound of a vehicle moving, and turned to see a green pickup truck roll onto a conveyor belt to a giant compactor. “Shut it off Sunset.”

Sunset was already sprinting. “No, don’t! You’re not worthless, you still have life in you! You don’t have to accept this!” She was trying desperately to clamber up one of the supports for the conveyor belt when she froze. “He’s…He’s gone.”

Gantz shook his head. “Shut it off Sunset.”

Sunset paused and slid back down the support, and clutched at her geode for a second before turning to glare at Becker and Gantz. “What’s wrong with both of you? How can you just accept this?”

“People die, things wear out.” Gantz looked around and nodded. “The exit is that way, the piles get smaller. C’mon.”

Sunset shook her head as the two went on through the derelict metal. “What’s wrong with you two? Why don’t you care about any of this? If you could feel what those people felt you wouldn’t be so flippant!”

“Yes we would,” Becker said, not bothering to look back. “Actually if there actually were people we’d probably be even more flippant.”

“Astoundingly more flippant,” Gantz observed. “So flippant we’d be doing back flips.”

Randel walked up behind Sunset. “If it means anything, I believe you.”

Sunset glared up at Randel, but caught herself when he flinched. “Right. Thanks Randel. I’m glad you do, at least.” Sighing, Sunset rubbed at her head. “I did shut myself off though, they weren’t wrong. Hopefully we’ll be able to get some answers soon enough.”

“Well you’re the team leader here,” Randel said. “You make the decisions right?”

Sunset smiled. “I guess I have to. Okay, let’s follow those two jerks for now.”

Making their way through the junkyard, the two made it to a wood fence topped with rusting barbed wire. Becker and Gantz nodded as they looked up at a sign. Sunset read, “Ernie’s Disposal: Scrap Metal and Vehicles.”

Gantz nodded and went to a shack off to the side of the entrance. Following, Sunset heard a bell chime as he opened the door and went in. “Hello?”

An old, grizzled looking man with thick gray stubble didn’t even bother looking up from under his raggedy ballcap. “Hm?”

Gantz smiled, putting on an accent that almost fooled Sunset. “We got turned around on the interstate a ways back, now we don’t know how to get back on. Think you could help us?”

Without speaking, the old man pulled out a pencil and paper. Scribbling so fast Sunset could barely process it he whipped the paper at Gantz who smiled. “Thank you sir, have a good day!” The man grunted, going back to his brooding as Gantz led everyone back out and put back on his own voice. “Now we need a car.”

Sunset blinked and looked up and down the dirt road in front of the junkyard. “Where are we gonna find one?”

Becker grinned and checked his watch. “Three, two, one.”

Sunset’s jaw dropped as the sound of rubber on dirt came close. Looking down the road she saw a small sedan coming toward them, a nondescript blue car that jostled with each bump in the road. “Has Pinkie Pie been teaching you or something?!”

“Movie logic,” Gantz said, stepping into the middle of the road and waving. The car slowed, and Gantz walked up to the side of the car with an American accent again. “Hi, sorry, but can you help us out? You see, we need to get to the interstate.” Drawing his revolver so fast that Sunset was convinced it teleported into his hand, he stuck it into the driver’s window. “Out, now.” The door opened, a terrified looking man in shirt, tie, and slacks shuffling out with wide eyes. His body looking like theirs would in the SGC. “Good. Now, is there anyone else in the car?” The man shook his head. “Anyone in the trunk?” Another more confused shake of the head. “Good. Now, you be a good boy and wait behind us. All of you, inside.” Sunset blinked and looked up at Randel. “It’ll be a tight fit but he’ll fit, now get in!” With Randel weighing down the back left of the car, the four drove on to the interstate.

Fluttershy looked quizzically at the tattered and faded ad. “B&L?”

“Buy-N-Large,” Lee whispered, scanning across the wastes. “Those aren’t skyscrapers, at least not anymore.”

“You know where we are?” Martis smiled a little. “That means you know how we can get out of here right?”

“Wrong,” Brodeur whispered. “There’s no magic here that could possible send us back, or anything that could possibly help us.”

Martis and Fluttershy both looked lost, but Lee put on a smile. “That’s not to say we can’t try. Fluttershy, you have the ability to communicate with animals, correct?” Fluttershy nodded. “Can you reach out to smaller creatures, perhaps insects?”

Fluttershy thought for a moment. “Well, I’ve never tried to contact an insect before. I can try though, if it gets us to my friends again.”

“Please,” Lee said, nodding to her. “Martis, help her if she needs it? Brodeur, can I speak to you a moment?” Grabbing Brodeur, Lee dragged the Frenchman away and glared him down. “Are you aiming at being particularly frustrating today, or do you want that girl to fall to pieces?”

“So we should cover the truth from her,” Brodeur shot back. “She can’t get back, the bracelets are useless. Should we make it seem to her that there is hope even when we know that’s a lie?”

“We don’t know when we’ve arrived,” Lee said. “Remember, SG-1 arrived at Fairy Tail at a point where their story could be changed. It’s possible we might be in the same situation. Perhaps there was even a special section in AUTO’s orders, that if humans were still on planet they should be retrieved at all costs.”

Brodeur glared at Lee. “And would that be best for us?”

Lee paused. “I don’t know, but it’s better than just giving up to die.”

“I never said we should give up,” Brodeur said. “But we shouldn’t lie to the girl.”

Martis called out, “Hey, Fluttershy found something!”

Both troopers ran to the two, seeing Fluttershy smiling as Martis looked excitedly on the horizon. “Oh wow, there’s so many of you.” Giggling, Fluttershy opened her eyes. “That was such a good idea, there’s so many out there! Oh, no, I’m not ignoring you.” Fluttershy shut her eyes again as Lee gave a smug grin to Brodeur. “Yes, we need your help. Can you see us? You can? That’s good, we’ll see you soon then.”

Martis looked eagerly over the horizon. “So where are they? What are they? Dogs? Cats? Rodents?”

“Doubtful,” Brodeur said, smiling as the brown wave scuttled into view over the sands. “That, Martis, is the only form of life on Earth that could possibly survive such a situation.”

Martis looked out, and his smile slowly faded when the wave got close enough to make out each individual roach in it.

Pinkie skipped along down the street, Durand scanning the area with a more distant expression. “Danville,” he whispered. “Which one is Danville?”

“It’s one of the series,” Schneider said, trying to think as Russo kept reading the newspaper. “CalArts work by the looks of it.”

“Looks pretty normal to me,” Pinkie said, still skipping along. “Besides, what’s wrong with a city that doesn’t have anything bad happening in it?”

Durand shrugged. “Well there may be a means to get back, depending on how fantastic this world is.”

Russo slammed into a lamppost, and groaning he grabbed at the papers scattered at his feet. Shaking off the impact, he froze. “Corporal, I know where we are.”

“Well don’t act so dramatic,” Durand said. “Where?”

“Phineas and Ferb,” Russo said, flipping the paper in his hand to an opinion column.

Pinkie leaned in to see a picture of a man with the funniest face she’d ever seen anyone make. His neck was thin, almost sticking straight out at an angle from his shoulders. The rest of his head looked like it had been stretched longways, with a chin jutting out and a long, thin nose. Unruly hair stuck out of a thin, tapered head, matched with massive bulging eyes. “Wow, he must make the best funny faces all the time!”

Russo paused. “That’s his actual face, Pinkie.”

Pinkie blinked. “Oh. Huh. Well, takes all kinds right?”

Durand snatched the paper from Russo’s hands. “Wait, this can’t be right. ‘The Glorious and Beneficent Beloved Grand Leader of the Tri-State Area, Mayor of Danville and Proud Son of Drusselstein, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz’? He won?”

Schneider and Russo leaned in on both sides of Durand. “He won?!”

“He won!” Pinkie jumped up throwing confetti. “Good for him!”

“No, no bad for them!” Durand tapped his finger on Doofenshmirtz’s picture. “He’s an evil mad scientist, he’s not supposed to win!”

Pinkie blinked and looked around at the city. Couples walked through the park laughing and holding hands. Mothers and children played in a playground. Street carts sold hot dogs and soda, and cars drove about with no problem. “You know, color me cuckoo, but he doesn’t seem that evil.”

Durand paused. “Alright, as far as villainy goes I’ll agree he’s rather…”

“Pathetic?” Russo said.

“Worthless?” Schneider threw out.

“Oui,” Durand observed. “We need to make contact with the platypus.”

Pinkie blinked. “The who now?”

“The platypus,” Durand said, striking out through Danville. “Perry the Platypus.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Nevada, North Texas

As Rainbow rushed from wreck to wreck and body to body, Alice knelt down and looked over one of the piles of remains. Alice couldn’t tell who the person had been alive, but their clothes were clashing contrasts of light blue and bright green. What worried her was that the hands were missing off the arms, the bones looking like they’d been melted by an intense heat.

“It’s all the same,” Rainbow said, zipping back to Alice. “Each place I go to there’s just bodies and wrecked robot parts.”

“But why in a desert,” Belenko mused, kneeling down next to one of the broken pieces of robot. “These were on a tropical island in the movie, right?”

Garcia shook his head. “You really think that's the big issue here?”

“Well look at the designs,” Belenko said, patting the metal. “Giant spheres with tendrils split off. It’s exactly the same.”

Garcia sighed. “Maria Madre, so this is all Syndrome’s doing. If it is him, why isn’t he coming after us? Where are the guards and robots to kill us?”

“Maybe this area fell off his radar because of the fighting,” Belenko gestured to the wrecks and bodies. “Don’t these look like a lot of supers to you? Where are they all coming from?”

Rainbow leaned over to Alice. “So, do you have any idea what they’re talking about?”

Alice shook her head. “Alright, we don’t know what happened here, but we can’t stay. It’s too hot to move, we should wait until dusk and move on.”

“Yes ma’am,” Belenko said, the four moving to the nearest cover.

“Rainbow Dash, can you fly up and see if there’s any sign of a town or village nearby?”

Rainbow grinned and sprouted her wings. “On it!” Shooting up into the air, she radioed back down. “I see it, there’s a city in that direction!” She pointed and Alice turned to see the horizon. “Want me to fly over?”

“Negative, they might be hostile at the sight of you flying around.” Belenko turned to Alice. “We need to act as normal as possible ma’am, Rainbow can’t use her powers while we’re there.”

Alice nodded. “Come back down Rainbow Dash, get in the shade and we’ll get moving tonight.” Rainbow’s face clearly fell as she floated back down to the ground. “What do you think we’re up against?”

“An arms dealer, with a massive superiority complex and a hatred of anyone with superhuman abilities.” Garcia settled into the shade, carefully feeling the shaded side of the robot before leaning his head on it. “If Arco iris uses what she has, we risk exposing ourselves to more trouble than we need.”

Alice shuddered, turning back to a glassy black aperture on what she presumed was the top of one of the mechanical hulks.

Applejack scratched her head as she followed behind Campbell and Baker. “So what exactly is your plan again?”

“Fucking simple, find the one person here who can help us.” Baker grinned as he walked up to the giant sombrero. “And hopefully get some good food while we’re at it.”

“Presuming we don’t set off a panic,” Campbell said, looking at his own hands before glancing at Applejack. “Applejack, you still have your magic right?” Applejack clutched at her necklace, then knelt down and tore a chunk of asphalt out of the road. Holding it over her head, she grinned at Campbell. “Right, bloody good. Uh, put it back then, we’ll see what happens once we’re inside.” Setting off for the doors, Campbell felt the ground shake as Applejack set the road back to semi-normal.

“BUENO NACHO”. Campbell had wondered what the food might have tasted like. Dragging up what memories he could he knew that it was the hangout of the main characters of the series, and that if they were going to have any chance of figuring a way home it was going to start here. Pulling the door open, he looked around and saw that it was roughly what he remembered. A small chain fast food restaurant with a Mexican theme. A staff of teenagers manned the counter, and there were customers scattered about idly catching a bite to eat. Checking to make sure it wasn’t a “wacky” episode where the main antagonists were eating lunch there to the apparent ignorance of the customers and staff, he went to the counter and a bespectacled younger man with the word “Manager” on his name tag.

“Good afternoon, welcome to Bueno Naco.” Ned looked up at Campbell, but instead of freaking out and asking why the three looked the way they did he put his hand on a cash register. “What can I get for you today?”

Campbell filed that particular reaction away. “Well we’re not here to eat, you see we’re here looking for someone.”

“If you’re not here to eat sir, I’ll have to ask you to move for any paying customers then.” The teen’s face didn’t change, he still looked bored to tears without actually crying.

Campbell blinked, but backed away. Looking to Baker and Applejack, he made his way out of the building and shook his head. “Well, don’t know why but I expected a bit touch more hospitality in the welcome.”

Baker punched into his open palm. “You think he needs to understand what we’re doing sir?” Applejack didn’t mind the gesture, but it was the gleeful look on Baker’s face that made her nervous.

Campbell waved the idea away. “Bad idea, we need to focus on making friends.” Looking around, Campbell saw a purple coup and a young girl with a cell phone latched to her ear chatting on. “However…”

Applejack looked over and groaned. “Is this gonna be another convoluted plan?”

“Not convoluted,” Campbell said, grinning. “Improvisation is completely different.” Walking over, Campbell put on an air of a man that knew what he was doing and knew what had to be done. Baker quickly put on the same look, but Applejack just looked at the pair like they were nuts.

“And so I’m all like, ‘Hello, are you for real right now?’ Well then she’s going to tell me that I’m not right, and you know I’m not about to let that slide by.” The girl looked fit, or at least Applejack figured it was what meant fit in this universe. To her the girl looked completely lopsided; a rail-thin waist with a chest and hips twice as wide. Her face seemed to be set into a sneer, and each word oozed with obvious contempt. Applejack was already sure of one thing. “This girl’s gonna be a problem.”

“Excuse me, Ms. Rockwaller?” The girl looked up at Campbell angrily, not able to believe someone was willing to interrupt her time on the phone. Applejack was just shocked at the sudden American accent. “I’m James Doohan, these are my associates Frederick Taylor and Amanda Jackson.” Applejack started to raise her hand to correct, but Baker quickly put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed with a polite smile on his face directed at the girl. “We represent the firm of Dewee, Cheedum, and Howe.”

The girl rolled her eyes. “Yeah? And?”

Campbell laughed. “Well you see miss, we’re looking to talk with you. You see, our firm specializes in sports marketing.” The girl raised her eyebrow. “Well we wanted to talk to you about becoming the new face of cheerleading for our advertising campaigns.”

The girl’s lips turned up. “Hey, I’ll call you back.” Hanging up, she shoved the phone into her pocketbook and smiled proudly. “I knew someone would recognize me when I took charge as captain of the squad.”

Applejack could see Campbell’s lip twitch at that. “Precisely miss. Your work with Middleton has really made your team stand out, and we’ve been waiting for you to take such a step before being able to approach you.”

“Well duh,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Why would you approach me when I wasn’t the one running things?”

“Precisely,” Campbell said. “Unfortunately our car’s broken down and we have no means of getting to your high school to talk with them about a possible arrangement to utilize their slogans and facilities.”

Bonnie smiled with obvious superiority. “Well fine, then let’s get going right? Barkin never leaves before sunset.”

Campbell smiled. “Perfect miss. Well, after you then.”

Flipping her hair happily, the girl led her way to her car as Baker finally released Applejack. “What in tarnation just happened,” she whispered. “Why did y’all just switch everything up like that?”

“Well what’s more identifiable, three Americans and one wearing a cowboy hat, or a Scot, a Brit, and a Canadian girl in a cowboy hat?” Baker jerked his head toward the girl. “That lass will be enough to at least get us to a good source of information.” He paused, looking toward her. “Problem is, in the series she was nothing but a one-dimensional generic high school antagonist.”

Applejack blinked. “You mean willing to manipulate others and always making sure she got what she wanted through acting like she was better than us?” Baker nodded. “Well that figures.”

“Doesn’t,” Baker mentioned. “She’s supposed to be second-best to the real hero of the place.”

Applejack blinked. “What?”

“She’s not supposed to be the bloody captain of the team,” Baker said. “She’s just a typical teen antagonist.”

“Well if she ain’t the hero,” Applejack said as they got to the car. “Who is?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 4: Los Angeles, San Fransokyo, Echo Creek

Rarity looked up around the cityscape, smiling at the sights of the buildings and people around her with her camera snapping away. “I must say, the retro stylings of this area are simply to die for.”

Kavanaugh was more concerned with the people glaring at them as they walked down the street. “I’m worried that might be the case.”

Lisowski looked over to Scholz, then to the people. Then to Rarity. “They aren’t staring at us. They’re staring at her.”

Rarity looked up and down her outfit, her normal wear of a powder-blue shit and purple shirt with heels. “Oh, well, I suppose that even in my everyday wear I look stunning.” She smiled happily as she strode down the street.

Scholz noticed several of the people glaring at her. “Somehow I doubt that.”

Walking through the streets, Kavanaugh kept his eyes up and head on a swivel. It was certainly around the 1940s, men in fedoras and suits mixing with women in long skirts as kids in newsboy caps ran around with dirt smeared over their faces through cars that were as big as a Badger APC and lined with chrome and white-wall tires.

“There’s a newspaper stand that way,” Scholz said. “We can find out who’s around here and meet back up once we’re done.”

Kavanaugh nodded. “Both of you be mindful. Rarity, stay by me.”

As Kavanaugh walked the block, he still couldn’t see anything immediately anomalous or off the baseline of what he was seeing. The city looked like any he’d seen in past films, concrete and stone and with people everywhere. The only things out of place were Rarity and himself. If the locals decided they were a problem, without the recall bracelets he would probably have to make the choice of using his 33 on Rarity before himself.

The shouting drew his attention away from such a dark thought. A crowd was forming a half-block away, grouping around a corner as a red light flashing in the center and a strong male voice shouted in the center. Figuring it might clue him in on something for this world, Kavanaugh nodded and made a beeline, keeping an eye on Rarity out of the edge of his vision. The crowd was thick, children running about the edges trying to worm their way through the legs of the adults around them. Kavanaugh could only pick up snippets of the conversations around him, and all of it didn’t signal something good. “Sick freak, about time they did something about it.” “Can’t believe it took this long.” “So many rumors, I suppose they were true.” “Disgusting, the way he’s acting.”

Rarity cringed at the comments. “Should I ask what specifically they’re talking about?”

“Sounds like some kind of sexual crime,” Kavanaugh whispered. “Some kind of repeat offender, maybe he managed to dodge attention until now.”

Rarity shuddered. “Disgusting. I’m certainly happy this doesn’t happen elsewhere then.” Kavanaugh held back his commentary on that matter.

“Filthy toons, should just dip’em all.”

Kavanaugh blinked. Stopping, he tried to listen in more closely.

“You don’t think that, you love watching the toon productions from Maroon and Warner Brothers.”

“Yeah, but the studios keep them contained now.”

“They let them walk the streets, you call that ‘contained’ Jerry?”

Kavanaugh shook his head and quickly started pushing through the crowd. They called out and shouted, and he thought he heard Rarity calling out apologies as he went, but she was silenced when he reached the edge of the crowd and took in what they had all gathered to see.

It was a police car with three officers around it, one officer keeping the crowd back as two more manhandled a cartoon. It was a wolf, dressed in a red zoot suit and trying desperately to escape the grips of the cops holding him. “It’s a mistake, a mistake I’m tellin’ ya! I didn’t do it, I’m being unfairly treated!”

“Tell it to someone who cares toon,” one of the cops barked. “How long until Toon Patrol gets here?”

“They’re on the way from Vine, should be a few more minutes.”

“Listen, I wasn’t really tryin’ to mean anything I swear!” The wolf kept trying to break free, Kavanaugh noticing that the police were wearing some kind of animated leather gloves. “Just let me explain, we can work this all out!”

Rarity finally forced her way next to Kavanaugh and took in the scene. “What on Earth is going on here,” she whispered. “What are they doing to that…wolf…man…creature?”

“They’re going to kill him,” Kavanaugh said, barely comprehending what he heard himself saying. “Jesus, they’re going to kill him. Officers!” Kavanaugh broke from the crowd, not caring that every eye was suddenly locked on him. “Officers, what’s the charge!”

The cops blinked, and the sergeant handling the crowd hurried over. “No business of yours, paddy, get back now.”

“That toon is still entitled to a legal right to trial under a court of law for any crimes,” Kavanaugh shouted back, his thick Cork accent punctuating each word. “What is he charged with?”

“Harassment if you must know,” the sergeant barked. “He was harassing a woman as we were driving by.”

Kavanaugh blinked, and pointed at the toon. “He is an archetypical toon wolf ala Tex Avery’s work on Red Hot Riding Hood and is going to whistle and holler at any attractive woman!”

The sergeant looked almost disgusted at the fact that Kavanaugh was trying to make a defense. “What the hell are you saying, that we should let him harass any woman he wants?”

“I’m saying you need to take into account circumstances. Example, Rarity?” Rarity jumped at being called out. “Rarity, I need you to show some leg.”

Rarity blinked. “Uh, I truly don’t think this is the time or place to -- ”

“Show some leg woman!”

Rarity quickly pulled up some of her dress on her left leg. The wolf paused mid-struggle, howling and stamping his foot as his eyes popped out of his skull. “Thank you Rarity, that’ll be all.” Rarity let the hemline fall, still looking at the whole affair in not so much confusion as abject bewilderment. “Now let the toon go, we can surely work this out before the Toon Patrol arrives.”

The sergeant spat out a laugh. “What are you, some kind of toon sympathizer?” Kavanaugh fumbled, unable to respond before the sergeant pulled out his billy club. “What, you got nothing to say? Too much time dipping it in the ink?”

“Now that’s just uncalled for,” Kavanaugh said calmly, before decking the sergeant and pulling his revolver. The crowd screamed and started to scatter as Kavanaugh trained the revolver on the two officers. “Drop the toon and step away!” The two police did so, the wolf scurrying over to Kavanaugh and grasping at him.

“Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” The wolf knelt down and started groveling, kissing Kavanaugh’s shoes. “I promise you won’t regret this I’ll do whatever you want -- ”

“Bloody stop it!” Kavanaugh looked to Rarity. “Can you drive?”

Rarity yelped. “Well yes I can but -- ”

“Then drive!” Pulling the wolf up, Kavanaugh threw the toon into the car and ran for the passenger’s seat. Rarity jumped in and tried to put the car into gear, but only managed to make a horrifying grinding noise. “Can you not drive this?”

“Oh forgive me for not being able to drive a car older than Granny Smith!”

Kavanaugh growled and turned to the back. “Wolf, can you drive this?”

The wolf laughed. “Scoot over toots, let me smoke these coppers!”

Before Rarity could object to being called toots, the wolf jumped into the driver’s seat cramming Rarity and Kavanaugh together in the passenger side. Gunfire started to ring out, and Kavanaugh angled himself over the roof to return fire. “Go, bloody go!”

The wolf put the car in gear and peeled away through the crowd, civilians jumping desperately out of the way as Kavanaugh pushed himself back inside. “Is there a place we can hide? How far until Toontown?”

The wolf glared at Kavanaugh, taking his eyes off the road in the process. “You wanna go to Toontown, why not put that heater to your head and pull the trigger jerk!”

Rarity screamed as the police car swerved into oncoming traffic. “Eyes on the road, eyes on the road!”

Kavanaugh glared back. “What are you talking about, Toontown was saved!”

The wolf growled, baring comically large canines. “What rock have you been living under buster, all Toontown got dipped by Doom!”

Rarity shouted again as the three barely dodged a limo. “Can you please get on the other side of the road!”

“That’s impossible, Roger and Eddy…” Kavanaugh trailed off as he started to realize what he was hearing. “Roger Rabbit, he was dipped wasn’t he.”

“And his wife, and Eddy Valiant’s died in the pen.” The wolf turned back to the road and made a hard swerve back into his lane. “How the hell didn’t you know that, it made national news?”

“We can explain once we gather the rest of our team,” Kavanaugh said, grabbing his radio. “Kavanaugh to Scholz, come in Scholz.”

“We’re here corporal, still at the newsstand.” Scholz was barely holding his radio as he and Lisowski read over the financial section. “We found something you need to see. Now.”

Twilight gazed in wonder at the city around her. Massive fans hovered in the air, tethered to the buildings below generating power. Small smart-cars hurried through the streets, some people flying above on personal jet-packs as others rode bikes that used magnets instead of nuts and bolts to hold the frame together. “This is all so incredible, I’ve never seen such an advanced city!”

“Ja, it’s fascinating,” Van der burgh mumbled, looking around for any trace of something they could use as a landmark or clue to where they were. “San Fransokyo, it’s obvious no?” Vogt nodded in agreement.

“Then the question is where everyone else wound up,” Twilight said, scanning the buildings. “We need to find a place to stay for the night, right?”

Vogt tapped Van der Burgh on the shoulder and pointed. Following, she grinned as he spied a small house/café at an intersection. “Good call. Alright, Vogt, follow my lead. Twilight, just…Just be yourself.” Twilight blinked at the implication but followed along dutifully.

The building was a strange mish-mash to Twilight, built like a town home but with an Asian-esque tiled roof. As Twilight got closer she saw that it was decently busy inside, customers having what looked like lunch with each other as they tapped away on smartpads and what looked like holographic displays. Twilight was starting to hop up and down excitedly until Vogt held her down as they walked through the door. The interior was decorated with a collection of what Twilight recognized as probably Japanese art pieces, but behind the counter the menus and food looked like anything she’d expect to find in a Stablebucks back in Canterlot.

A lone woman manned the counter, her brown hair kept short enough that it didn’t touch her shoulders but long enough to be considered wavy. She had large expressive eyes, and smiled as she served up the food and drinks for the lunch rush. Noticing four new customers, she smiled and waved. “Hey, welcome to the Lucky Cat! Should be space enough for four around here somewhere, just give me a sec and I’ll be with you.”

“Dank je, mevrouw” Ven der Burgh said, smiling as she made his way to the counter. “Unfortunately, we’re not able to purchase any of your fine delicacies as of today.”

The woman’s face fell a little, but she kept smiling. “Oh. Huh. Well, lunch is almost over so if you’re looking for a place to take a rest feel free to wait a few minutes and I’ll set you up with a table.”

“We’re actually not looking for that either ma’am,” Van der burgh said, still smiling genially. “You see my friends and I are looking for your nephew, Hiro.”

The woman’s face fell to sorrow, and mournfully she started to wipe down the counter. “You mustn’t have heard then. My nephew passed away recently.”

The two troopers blinked. “Passed away,” Van der Burgh whispered. “Nee, no, he won against Yokai. He and his friends, they…The portal…”

Twilight blinked. “LCpl. Van der Burgh, you said you know what this place was.”

Cass glared at the trio. “What are you talking about? What do you mean he ‘won’?”

“Nee, nee nee, dat kan niet,” she whispered, starting to pace around the café to the confusion of the customers. “They defeated Yokai and saved Callaghan’s daughter, dead? How, it just doesn’t make any kind of logical sense unless…” Straightening up, Van der Burgh marched to the counter. “What if I promised you that justice can be brought to the man who killed your nephews?”

The woman blinked. “Nephews? You mean, you’re saying that Yokai…” Van der Burgh nodded. The woman clasped a hand over her mouth and backed away from the counter in shock.

Twilight walked up to Van der Burgh. “I don’t understand, what’s going on?”

“We’re appealing to one of the oldest human emotions,” Van der Burgh said, watching as Cass Hamada’s eyes started to burn. “Vengeance.”

Oreldo watched, dumbfounded, as Weber skipped gleefully down the streets of what Ricci had said was Echo Creek, California. A small, unassuming town that apparently was related to the appearance in the SGC of a being of immense power that also had access to the multiverse. That wasn’t the frightening part though, it was seeing a woman who was supposed to be a battle-tested, gritty NCO acting like a schoolgirl out on a class trip.

“We need to find a way to the Diaz house,” Ricci said, sounding far more grounded. “We can meet up with Star and Marco, they can use their scissors to try and unite us with the others and we can get back to the SGC.”

“Before I get any more confused,” Oreldo groaned, feeling his eyes ache at the sight of so many bizarrely shaped people. “So why is Weber so excited about this place?”

Ricci looked to Weber and laughed. “This is her favorite show from childhood, the one that she most remembers. If I had to guess this is heaven for her.”

“Heaven huh?” Oreldo looked around and shook his head. “Figured heaven would always look a lot better.”

“Ah, didn’t you have the same reaction the first time you went to the SGC?” Ricci spread his arms as if to open up the whole of the town to Oreldo. “This is a new world, mio amico, surely you didn’t expect the same drab appearance as the rest.”

“Hey, my dimension isn’t drab,” Oreldo said, pointing at Ricci.

Weber kept skipping along, half-mumbling, half-singing about things getting a little weird when she looked in a shop window and froze. Staring at the window, Ricci and Oreldo shared a look before moving up to join her. It was a pizza shop, but Oreldo wasn’t concerned about what kind of shop it was compared to what Weber was stuck staring at in the window.

It was a small piece of paper, nothing about it was very colorful or impressive. The lettering was plain, boring even compared to the rest of the place. “This business is a proud partner of the Mewman-Echo Creek Trade Development Partnership. Huh. What’s that?” Weber didn’t answer, she just glared at the logo on the bottom left of the paper. A logo of a man in what looked like a suit, with slicked hair portrayed in a front profile. “What, you know him?”

“He’s Toffee,” Ricci whispered. “And he's alive.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 5: New York City

“And in business news today Xanatos Enterprises again posted record profits, rising to become the top corporate manufacturer for the seventh year running. On the energy side DinoCo has answered to the House Oversight Committee that it does plan to invest in renewable energy resources in accordance with Pres. Martinez’s ‘Future Focus’ initiative, but that it will take time to implement.”

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Gantz whispered, not so much running a hand through his hair as he was pulling at it. “How can Xanatos exist in the same world as DinoCo and Pres. Martinez? They’re three distinct entities, Gargolyes was cancelled a decade before Corey in the House even premiered!”

“Well once we get to New York we can try to get some answers,” Becker answered. “Look, the important thing is that we get answers and try to meet with the rest of the teams. All other concerns are secondary to surviving right now. We find Det. Maza, we link up with the clan and plead our case.” Despite his attempts to make it sound like he had a plan, Sunset couldn’t ignore the nervous look on Becker’s face.

Randel leaned forward, nearly shifting the entire center of gravity in the car. “So is this Xanatos guy bad?”

Gantz thought for a moment. “Not bad, at least not bad as we recognize it. He’s a corporate tycoon, business at the expense of all others as long as he comes out on top.”

“He’s also a sorcerer, technologist, and has expert mercenaries and scientists on his payroll at his immediate beck and call.” Becker navigated the freeway as the group passed a billboard advertising the luxury of the Tipton family of hotels and resorts. “The four of us can’t do anything against him.”

Sunset leaned back in her seat. “Well no one’s invincible. He must have some weakness.”

“Unfortunately that something might be at the expense of the people we want to go to for assistance.” Gantz rubbed at his eyes. “Turn off the radio, I need to think.”

As Becker shut off the news he looked out onto the sights of New Jersey. Then he realized his mistake and quickly went back to focusing on the road.

It wasn’t the most uncomfortable ride any of them had ever taken. For Becker and Gantz spending hours aboard a packed titan en route to Egypt had taken the top spot. For Sunset, it had been getting crammed into the back of her bus every day after school before she’d gotten her motorcycle. The less Randel could remember about every time he’d been forced to clamber atop the back of a tank, the better. Still, after a good three hours of getting off the interstate and navigating the streets of Manhattan the four of them were worn out and finished with the trip.

Still, Randel was lost at the sight of the city before him. The grandeur of the Empire’s capital was gone forever, now he had a new metric to judge by. The massive “skyscrapers” towered above like mighty obelisks, or great mason-works of future castles and redoubts. Cars and people jammed the streets, some dressed for business and others dressed for…Well Randel didn’t know why someone would need a single strip of pink hair that stuck a half-foot out of their head, but they were certainly ready for something.

Sunset was more concerned with the emotions of the city. Even if her empathy was closed off, she was trying to at least open it a little to get a read of the area. The city was gruff, cautious, people trying to anticipate danger with every step. The police gave off the heaviest feelings of unease, it was obvious to Sunset that they were just waiting for something to happen.

“There,” Gantz said, pointing to his right. “The Tipton New York. We can try and set ourselves up in there.”

“Risky,” Becker said, pulling up to the curb. “How well do you remember that show?”

“It was a sitcom,” Gantz said. “All we need is a standard rapid-fire bluff with a lot of important words and playing up of the accents to get what we need.”

Sunset blinked. “You really think that’s gonna work?”

“Leave it to us,” Becker said, grinning. “We’ll talk circles around them.”

Leaving the car for the tow trucks two blocks away, Becker and Gantz led the way to the Tipton as the afternoon sky started to dim. The hotel itself was a fine affair, Sunset didn’t deny it was made to impress anyone who stayed in it. The clients were probably tycoons and barons at one time, moguls and magnates who could afford to have the finest amenities at any time they demanded. A doorman in a peaked cap and green uniform waited out front, two bellhops in green uniforms waiting beside a valet stand.

The interior was just as grand, with fine wood paneling running up every column inside the marble lobby. A wide reception desk was set off to the left of the lobby, and farther to the back was a small restaurant and newsstand. Staff and guests walked about, businessmen and women talking with attaché cases gripped firmly in hand talking about earnings and reductions on cell phones as they moved.

Becker and Gantz led the way to the reception desk, where a single bald man with dark skin stood checking a computer. Hearing the four walk up, he immediately broke out a wide smile. “Hello, welcome to the Tipton. How can I help you today?”

“Guten abend, mein freund,” Becker said cordially. “I am Karl Becker, my associate Mr. Gantz and I had reserved two rooms for our co-workers?”

The concierge nodded. “Of course, of course, let me just search your names and we’ll get right on that.” Sunset cringed, and was satisfied with the answer seconds later. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry sir but it appears that we don’t have a reservation under the name Becker.”

Becker blinked. “No reservation under that name?” The concierge nodded. “No reservation?” Another more confused nod. “I’m going to speak in my native tongue in an increasingly angry tone so that he thinks we’re getting angry at him!”

“A brilliant idea comrade, I’ll join you in this plan,” Gantz said, sounding like he was trying to calm Becker down. “If we’re lucky that one character who speaks German isn’t here right now.”

“She’d better not be!” Becker slammed his fist into his palm. “If she is this entire plan is ruined!”

“Gentlemen, gentlemen please!” The concierge held up his hands trying to calm the two. “I’m sure there was just a mistake and I know we can correct it if you’ll just -- ”

“The mistake was clearly in booking this hotel,” Gantz barked. “Throw out the name of a competing hotel now just to drive the point home.”

“Dammit, I think the name of that other hotel company was, what was it, yes the St. Mark!” The concierge gasped, Sunset watching the entire act unfold in rapt disbelief. “I’m sure you understand of course Mr…!”

The man shirked, “Moseby!” Quickly bringing himself back under control, he plastered the smile back on. “Gentlemen, I’m sure that we can hash out the details later! Please, we do have a four-room suite open at the moment and I’m sure that would be more than suitable for your needs.”

Becker looked to Gantz. “Do you think we should end the play here and take what we have?”

“Best not to risk It,” Gantz replied. “Very well, Mr. Moseby. And we’ll make sure to mention after our stay how quickly you resolved the matter of your hotel’s malfeasance.”

“Oh thank you,” Moseby said, quickly magnetizing and handing them four key cards. “Now do you have any luggage you’d like brought up?”

“No, thank you, we’ll handle our own affairs,” Gantz said, Becker guiding Randel and Sunset to the elevator, shutting Sunset’s wide-open mouth as he went. “I shudder to imagine how your staff would handle our things after failing to handle a matter as simple as our reservation.” Moseby cringed at the shot as Gantz walked to the elevators. Gantz was thankful there were no mirrors around, that was no one behind him could see the massive smile plastered over his face.

Safe within the elevator as the doors shut, Becker and Gantz broke down laughing. “Wunderbar! We have an entire suite to ourselves, and by the time Moseby realizes what just happened we’ll already have gotten to somewhere else.”

Sunset gestured for a few seconds before sighing. “What just happened?”

“Playing the game, my dear Bacon-Head.” Gantz laughed. “These characters are from a sitcom series revolving around the hijinks involving two teenaged twins and the characters of the hotel they live in. It was a risk, but it worked.”

“Act like you’re part of the script,” Becker said. “Play your part to the characters, and you’ll get whatever you want.”

Randel blinked. “How do episodes like this usually end?”

“Oh, well the two twins would find us all out and we’d be arrested,” Gantz said, laughing at Sunset’s reaction. “Not to worry though. As long as we take the right precautions we’ll be fine.”

“Example.” Becker balled up a fist and jumped up to punch the elevator’s vent. Only he looked confused as he landed. “Huh. Normally that’d result in an ‘ow’.”

Gantz patted Randel on the shoulder. “Give it a try, just punch up at the vent. Don’t worry, they’ve got the best maintenance man in the business.” Randel nervously looked up at the vent and punched it, but Becker and Gantz were again left staring up confused. “Hm. They must be in another part of the hotel.”

Sunset groaned. “This is all too weird, you know that?”

“Says the horse-girl from two dimensions over,” Becker pointed out as the elevator opened to an empty hallway. “Food for thought.”

Leading the way through the halls, Becker hit the keycard and opened up the suite to a sterling example of late 19^th-century opulence. The dark-green walls were complimented by the wooden runners lining the sections of each wall, with oil paintings of landscapes of the city as it was back when the Tipton was founded surrounding them. The windows looked out onto the skyline, and as Randel marveled at his surroundings Becker and Gantz checked the light fixtures and outlets. Sunset’s eyebrow rose. “And what is this?”

“Checking for bugs,” Gantz said. “Certain parties are known for using methods like this to gain material to use against others. Odds are the staff wouldn’t even know they’re here.” Gantz stopped and grinned. “Actually, the Tipton may be able to provide this service for us anyway.”

Becker nodded. “We can use the microwave.”

Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramirez, aka Esteban, leaned over the counter of the front desk toward Mr. Moseby. “I must admit Mr. Moseby, they do not sound like the happiest of customers.”

Mr. Moseby shook his head as he tapped away at his computer. “It makes no sense Esteban, I mean I’ve checked five times by now when I’ve had the chance and not once do I see anything from a Mr. Becker or a Mr. Gantz.”

“Well it might have to do with the new operating system you said we installed,” Esteban said. “Didn’t you say it acts oddly sometimes?”

“Well that’s just it Esteban, sometimes the system acts so well I can’t believe it isn’t magical,” Moseby said. “But losing names, well that’s the odd thing. So far this system has been practically immaculate, and how it’s losing something so simple, I can’t explain it.”

Esteban shrugged. “You know Mr. Moseby, my grandmama used to tell us when we were growing up that told me everything I’d need to know.”

Mr. Moseby looked up expectantly. “What’d she say?” Esteban proceeded to rattle off a string of words in Spanish so fast that if someone were writing it out but couldn’t speak Spanish or had access to a good translation program, they’d be utterly unable to reflect the poetry of the statement. Mr. Moseby for his part blinked. “Yes, that makes it all so clear.”

The elevator dinged, and an angry looking man with close-cut blonde hair stormed out with clenched fists. Esteban blinked and quickly backed away from the desk, leaving Mr. Moseby to shudder at the approach. Taking a breath he quickly smiled at Becker. “Mr. Becker, sir! I trust everything is alright?”

Becker stormed up and held up a small piece of green circuit board. “Is this what we pay the Tipton for during our stays, Mr. Moseby?”

Moseby stuttered a few seconds as he gazed on the electronics. “Sir, I can assure you that whatever this is -- ”

“Is it common for your company to listen in on the guests inside your suites!” Becker slammed the piece down on the counter hard enough that pieces scattered across the lobby. “Is this how one of the finest hotels in the nation acts?”

“No, no sir, never!” Moseby grabbed the phone on his desk in a panic and shouted, “Arwin! Front desk! Now!” Slamming the phone back down, Moseby paused and smiled at Becker. Calmly he said, “Our maintenance staff will be here momentarily to assist clearing your room.”

“I hope so,” Becker growled. “I can’t believe how easy this has been so far, all I have to do is speak in an angry accent and he buys it.”

Roughly two minutes later a thin man in a blue jumpsuit with thin hair arrived in the lobby, bearing thick glasses and a toolbox that had been dinged and scratched up so often that Becker wondered if the Tipton had any maintenance budget at all for being such a massive and expensive hotel.

“Came as fast as I could Mr. Moseby,” the man gasped, his name tag reading, “Arwin”. He was gasping, nearly out of breath and leaning on the desk. “What’s…” He took a long gasp. “What’s wrong?”

“We seem to have a slight issue in Mr. Becker’s suite,” Moseby said. “Can you accompany him upstairs to assist him with his issue?”

Arwin nodded, turning to smile at Becker. “Oh, yeah, sure I can help.”

“I certainly hope you can,” Becker said, turning and storming toward the elevator. Arwin looked to Mr. Moseby, but he was quickly waved to the elevators.

Following Becker into the suite, he smiled and waved to Sunset and Randel. “Oh, hi there. So, what do you folks need help with?”

“Well considering we found a listening device in our suite,” Gantz said, glaring at Arwin. “I’d imagine we want you to make sure there aren’t any more.”

Arwin’s eyes went wide. “Oh, yeah sure. Just let me get my tools out.”

As Arwin went to his toolbox, Becker walked over to Gantz. “If I remember correctly he’s a massive klutz, we need to be watchful.” Gantz nodded, both watching carefully as Arwin went to work on the outlets.

Randel watched as the man set to work, unscrewing the plates on the wall and looking into the wiring for any “bugs” that Becker and Gantz were worried about. He hurried to the kitchenette and checked several appliances (And not asking why there wasn't a microwave) before looking up to the light fixtures. “Huh. Should’ve brought my ladder.”

“Mr. Oland,” Becker said. “Since we’re in a rush to take care of this matter now, perhaps you can assist?”

Arwin nodded, holding a screwdriver. “Oh, yeah, that’d be perfect. Give me a boost big guy?” Randel nodded, picking Arwin up by the waist and holding him up. Arwin blinked, but shrugged and quickly set to checking the lights hanging from the ceiling. “Well, so far it all looks clear. Where’d you find that circuit card anyway?”

“In the kitchen,” Gantz said, still glaring. “I thought this was a luxury hotel.”

“Oh, well we try to be,” Arwin said, grunting as he struggled with a difficult screw. “Lately things have been kind of difficult.”

Gantz and Becker shared a look as Sunset looked up. “Difficult how?”

“Oh, well, ever since those grumpy looking guys in the suits started showing up Mr. Moseby’s always been talking about how hard it’s been to keep the budget balanced.” Arwin kept twisting at the fixture as Randal kept holding him up. “Wow, this is really stuck in there.”

“Arwin,” Becker said. “What exactly do these men want when they come here?”

Arwin shrugged. “No idea, I’m always too far away to hear. Usually they come in all scowling and angry looking, like this.” Arwin’s face screwed up, Sunset blinking at the sudden shift in expressions.

Gantz nodded. “And how does Mr. Moseby react to these men?”

“Oh, something like this most times.” Arwin cringed in terror. “But sometimes it’s more like this.” His face suddenly changed to pained. “When he makes that face he hands them a manila envelope.”

The two Germans looked at each other, and Becker looked to Sunset and tapped on the side of his head. “This isn’t right,” he thought. “The Suite Life was cute family sitcom material, there were no criminals involved that couldn’t be foiled by two pre-teens and zany hijinks.”

“So that’s why you punched the elevator vent,” Sunset said. “They might’ve been up there.”

“Actually by now we should’ve at least seen them once,” Gantz mentioned. “Hold on.” “Arwin, we heard that there are two terrors in the Tipton.”

Arwin shuddered, and fell out of Randel’s hands. Screaming, Randel tried to catch the maintenance man. Becker and Gantz both ducked, Arwin’s feet barely sailing over their heads as he cried out. Randel made a grab, but Arwin’s panicking swung the chandelier in an arc away from Randal. Sunset jumped up to try and stop him, but the momentum carried both around in a circle. Sunset’s screaming meshed with Arwin’s, and as Randel kept trying to catch the two his heavy footsteps threw every piece of furniture not nailed down everywhere across the suite.

Gantz felt something tap his arm. Looking over he saw Becker holding a can of beer. “Huh, so they do have alcohol.”

“They mention bars several times in the series,” Becker said, grinning as he cracked the can. “Settle in for the show?”

“Eh, it’ll be over in a few seconds anyway.” Sipping the brew, Gantz blinked in wonder. “This is what American beer tastes like?”

“I know, it’s amazing.” Downing another mouthful, Becker shook his head as Sunset tried to dodge colliding with a floor lamp. “So we wound up in an animated junkyard, passed a billboard for Xanatos, and now we’re in one of the live-action sitcoms.”

“Agreed, something’s gone wrong.” Gantz sighed. “There’s only one being that could do this to so many universes.”

“And if he is loose,” Becker said. “Nothing we do will be able to stop him.”

Arwin screamed out, “Losing my grip, losing my grip!”

“Aim for the couch, aim for the couch!” Sunset yelped as they swung around the room again, trying to judge the best time to let go. Randel tried to get between them, but Arwin let go just before Sunset could. Both slammed into Randel, and the giant was tipped off-balance into the sofa. The three fell back onto the upholstery, landing in a heap and shaking the whole suite. Grabbing two paper towel sheets, Becker and Gantz quickly drew and held up an 8.7 and 8.4.

Arwin hopped back up and quickly started gathering his things. “Well, that’s all done, no bugs! No bugs at all, nothing here! I’ll just be on my way, thanks for having me!”

As the door slammed shut behind Arwin, Sunset rubbed at her head as she quickly pulled herself away from Randel. “Okay, what the heck just happened?” She groaned as Becker tapped on his temple.

“This isn’t a single world anymore,” Becker thought. “Somehow, several universes have been slammed together. If we’re going to get back to the SGC we need to get to Oregon.”

“Oregon?” Randel pulled himself up and set the couch back into place. “What’s in Oregon?”

“A shrill little monster that can probably solve all the problems we have,” Gantz thought, walking to the window. “I’ve got an idea on where we can start though. Tomorrow night, we’re going to the police.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 6: The Tipton New York

Sunset blinked awake, stretching out on the bed that felt like something that a pegasus would sleep on instead of a human. Half-fighting her way out of the heavy comforter and silk sheets, she quickly showered up and checked her gear before setting out for the day.

She walked out into the main room to see Randel bent over the coffee maker trying to figure out how to work it. Sunset froze, not expecting to be alone with Randel. She started to turn to go back and wait in her room when he turned and smiled at her. “Oh, morning Sunset. Say, you think you can help me work this thing?”

Sunset nodded, walking over and putting in a fresh pod. “I forgot, your universe doesn’t have coffee makers in it.”

Randel nodded, stepping away as she worked what to him might as well have been magic. “I suppose we don’t have a lot of things yet. Maybe we shouldn’t have some of it, I’m not sure I could handle having to deal with all these buttons and commands and whatever those gray boxes are in the mountain.” He started to chuckle as the coffee started to bubble out. “I can barely comprehend that it’s basically a more advanced telegraph sometimes.”

“There’s probably a lot you don’t comprehend.” Backing away from Randel, Sunset made her way to the TV and turned it on. It was a short commercial for some cereal local to the world, then cut to a news report.

“The NYPD is again denying sightings of ‘monsters’ in the city. Officers in the 23^rd Precinct are again denying reports from witnesses that they’re seeing ‘flying beasts’ over Manhattan last night, the seventh report in two months and the twenty-third since last year. Police officials continue to maintain that if there are sightings of flying individuals over the skies they are probably using some kind of wing suit to carry out sophisticated criminal activities. Questions about several killings of known criminals were shut down as being part of an ‘ongoing investigation’.”

“Lies,” Gantz said, walking out with a slight stubble on his chin. “We need to get to the 23^rd and talk to their lead detective.” Gantz patted his stomach. “After breakfast. There should be a restaurant on the second or third floor.” Looking to Randel, he smiled. “What do you think? You’re lucky, it’s actual coffee and not caffeine crystals.”

Randel smiled as he smiled at the cup. “It’s got such a taste to it, I’ve never had anything like it before.”

Gantz nodded, walking into the center of the room. “Yes, this was New York. Is New York?”

“Let’s not get into temporal grammar,” Becker said, moving for the door. “We’ll be here all last week.”

Checking the list in the elevator, the four went to the third floor and walked out to see a full breakfast buffet spread out for the guests. Staff went hurriedly around replacing the trays and clearing the tables, guests idly chatting about the day and what they had planned in the city. The four quickly grabbed some plates and made their way to a distant table, watching as the businessmen hurried off quickly while the families and couples slowly started drifting in.

“We’ll have the Tipton bring us a car, bill it to our room.” Becker took a bite of his scrambled eggs. “There shouldn’t be mein Gott.” His eyes went wide as he started to devour the eggs. “Das ist besser als am berg!”

Gantz was applying a liberal dose of maple syrup to his pancakes. “Jawohl!”

Sunset and Randel both gazed at the two before trying to carry on, Sunset asking, “So, who exactly are we looking for?”

“A detective, female, dark hair and tan skin.” Gantz didn’t so much chew his food as grind it apart and swallow it in great hunks of refined tree sap and baked dough. “She’s essentially the city’s only expert on strange matters.”

Sunset nodded. “Well, we’re definitely in her department.”

Randel smiled as he sipped some orange juice. “This is so tasty, what is it?”

Sunset didn’t look over. “Orange juice.”

Randel smiled as he took another drink. “It tastes so good, it has a bite but it’s really good. What’s it made out of?”

“Oranges,” Becker said, smiling as he kept shoveling eggs. “It’s a fruit, comes from warmer climates. Good for preventing scurvy.” Liberally applying more ketchup, Becker smiled as Randel took another swig. “I’m going for seconds.”

Sunset smiled and leaned back as Becker and Gantz went back for more. She’d only read about where they’d come from, but seeing their reactions to the things she took for granted, of a good breakfast and a warm day outside? Of just being able to go swimming in a pool for fun? She couldn’t deny that it was nice to watch. It also was a welcome distraction from Randel sitting next to her.

Finished, the four walked up to the front desk. A short bout of bluffing with Mr. Moseby later, and the four were driven to the 23^rd Precinct of the NYPD. Sunset took the building in, and was left with a less-than-stellar impression. It looked like an older highrise, and part of her wondered if she might find the MALP nearby. Following Becker and Gantz, she noticed several cops outside shooting suspicious glares at Randel.

The interior of the precinct was relatively mundane, cops and detectives and civilians moving through concerned with their business. A desk sergeant sat behind a wire-reinforced glass desk, the precinct proper visible through two doors on either side. Several corkboards hanging on the walls around the reception area walls held wanted posters and messages to the community, Sunset noticing that the faces on the posters ran from looking like they came from the SGC to others that looked borderline-misshapen to her eyes.

Becker walked up to the desk sergeant and put on his American accent. “Good morning sir, I’d like to speak with Det. Maza?”

The sergeant looked up in surprise. “Detective…Maza?”

“Yes sir,” Becker said. “We believe she may be able to use information we have regarding the strange sightings in the city skies regarding the stories of these ‘winged’ figures.”

The desk sergeant didn’t drop his confused look. “Okay, and why do you think that Maza can help you?”

Becker and Gantz shared a look. “Isn’t she the detective in charge of the case?”

The desk sergeant barely held back a snort. “Tell you what, you’ll probably have five seconds to talk to her right about now.”

One of the doors to the precinct opened, and Sunset saw a statuesque woman stride out. She wore the uniform of a beat cop, her long raven hair back in a tight bun. Gantz and Becker stared at her for a moment, like they’d just been shown that the real reason Girl Scout cookies tasted so good was not because they were made with ground unicorn horns, but because they were made with copious amounts of sugar and additives.

“Hey, Maza,” the sergeant barked. “These folks want to talk with you about our flying rat problem.”

The woman looked up in surprise, and Sunset noticed that she seemed taken aback by the idea. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“Detective, we can assure you we’re not joking.” Becker held out a hand. “Kyle Becker.”

“Elisa Maza,” she said, her voice clipped as she kept moving for the door. “Sorry, but you must have me confused for someone else. I work traffic detail.”

Gantz laughed incredulously. “No, no that’s not right. You’re a detective, I mean you’re one of the best in the city.”

The sergeant laughed next, but Elisa turned away. “Look, I’ve got a patrol to walk, so if you don’t have anything important to talk about I suggest you let me do my job.”

As the door shut behind Elisa, Sunset connected with Becker and Gantz before walking out the door. “Okay, what just happened?”

“More proof that not only are we not in Kansas, we aren’t even in Oz.” Gantz hurried down the front steps of the station, Randel hurrying along in pursuit. “That woman is one of the toughest detectives ever known. She’s stood up to crime lords and CEOs and witch-beasts and still held up in the fight for justice.”

“Well not it looks like she’s fighting against double-parking.” Sunset glared at Becker. “Spill it, what’s really happening here?”

“She’s proof enough that the shows we watched as children form the basis of this universe,” Becker thought, staring at Maza’s back. “What we’re missing is why she’s suddenly on a traffic detail instead of acting as one of the NYPD’s best detectives. We need to confront her.”

“What?” Sunset quickly got in front of the two and glared. “You’re saying we should confront a police officer? While we’re armed? Doesn’t that sound like a monumentally terrible idea?”

“Hey, guys?” The three turned to Randel. “Can you at least talk out loud? I’m kinda feeling left out.”

Gantz nodded. “Sorry corporal. He’s right, we do need to make sure we all know.”

Sunset nodded. “Look, I’m not saying I don’t believe you both. It’s just that this sounds beyond risky. If things are different, she might not react the way you’re both hoping.”

“Well if it comes to it you’ll have to show her what we saw with Acnologia.” Becker held up his hands defensively when Sunset glared at him. “Just as a last resort is all!”

Sunset crossed her arms. “Fine, but this can’t be some kind of go-to for us. I don’t like the idea of risking my mind by just opening a connection with whoever you apparently say I should.”

Following behind Maza as she worked her way to an intersection four blocks away, Sunset followed the pair as they set themselves up to watch from a street corner. Randel leaned over, looking nervous. “Isn’t this a little too strange though? I feel like some kind of pervert just following a woman I don’t even know around a city like this.”

Sunset shook her head. “Becker and Gantz seem to have a plan for what’s going on. If they think this is what can get us some kind of information, we can risk it for a little bit.”

Randel leaned his back up against the building, not noticing the stares he was getting from the people walking by. “Do you think they might work now?”

Sunset tapped at her wrist lacrima and sighed. “Nothing. Whatever’s doing this, it isn’t just going to wear off I guess. I still don’t know what a traffic cop is gonna do to help us.”

Three feet away, Becker and Gantz watched as Maza half-daydreamed as she directed traffic. “This confirms it, the entire multiverse has gotten warped by his release.”

“How do we know it was him,” Becker said, before pausing with a confused look. “It would make sense, it's like him to be this sick and twisted, but what if this is a universe where it's always been like this?”

Gantz shuddered at the thought. “We need to give it time, then we tell her what we know.”

Becker scoffed. “What do we know? Things are so different there might now, the clan might be…” Becker looked down and shut his eyes. “We don’t know who is still alive.”

Gantz didn’t react. “I’m sure we can come up with something. We just need the right idea on how to do it.” Looking around he cringed watching people from a live-action series sharing the streets with what looked like cartoons and no one batting an eye. “Somehow.”

Elisa sighed as she threw her favorite red jacket on in the locker room. It had been another double, but at least now she could afford to keep her car for a few more weeks. Stretching out, she shouldered her bag and shuffled out into the nighttime hustle of the station. Detectives and uniforms chatted and typed away, the occasional streetwalker or pusher escorted to the holding cells in the back. A familiar red-headed detective sat hunched over his computer, paperwork scattered across his desk and hair ruffled from his hand constantly running through it. “Long night?”

Matt Bluestone sighed. “Captain’s got me trying to organize the Rockwood case, but it’ll be at least a week to try and cross reference everything. Evidence is still a mess after that IA sweep.”

Elisa smiled and put a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “Cup of coffee might clear your head.”

Matt returned the smile but waved off the drink. “Can’t, this’ll take me at least until midnight.”

Elisa smirked. “And then you have to organize your strings back home?”

Matt laughed. “Mock all you want, I’ll get there eventually.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow partner.”

Partner. Technically Matt wasn’t Elisa’s partner anymore, but the two had worked together on such deep cases that they couldn’t really cut that particular tie. Waving to the desk sergeant, Elisa made her way onto the street and went for the subway.

The city at night was a different beast from the day. When the sun was up tourists could walk freely and only feared the dark alleys and slums. At night the illusion dropped away, the rats and the insults to rats scurrying out of the shadows and gutters to make their own living. As much as the department tried to keep Times Square and Lower Manhattan patrolled, there were always at least three dozen muggings, assaults, and robberies reported a night. Of course, the mayor’s office demanded that the city remain a tourist draw, so more cops were sent out during the day where they could be seen by the families leaving the night shift desperate for money and men.

Still, something kept her more on edge than usual. She tried to look around, check for anything that was somehow setting her off. The people on the street were walking idly around, heads down or talking to a friend or lover. Every few seconds a car drove by, but none looked suspicious or dangerous. She didn’t hear leathery wings flapping overhead, and turning back she didn’t see anyone following her or glaring her direction. Yet even as she walked she couldn’t escape the feeling that something was wrong. She was anxious, hairs on end and skin crawling as she went along.

Three alleys back, Sunset had a hand on her geode and kept her face scrunched up hard. The sensation was strange, trying to force an emotion on someone, but Gantz had been right: She could affect them. She didn’t dare think anything, at least anything that might jump over whatever connection she’d made between herself and Det. Maza.

“You’re getting to her,” Gantz whispered, peering around a corner. “Like I told you, switch it to happy in three, two, one, now!” Sunset did her best, trying to dial the emotions to a more uplifting ideal. Gantz watched as Maza looked over her shoulder again, but then started chuckling. Soon she was laughing as she walked down the street, shaking her head as the people around her stared at her in confusion. “Too much Sunset, too much, dial it back!”

Sunset grunted. “You try affecting someone else’s emotions!”

Becker and Randel kept watch at the other end of the alley, Randel smiling as he patted three alley cats that had somehow flocked to his feet. “Sorry guys, but I don’t have any food right now. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow and I’ll leave some here.”

Becker smiled as he scanned the opposite street. “Quite the animal lover. Do they always come up to you like this?”

Randel nodded, scratching one of the smaller cats behind the ears. “Ever since I was little. Usually I’d need to leave some food out, but here they just seem to want to be near me.”

Becker filed that away for later use as Gantz and Sunset argued about the finer points of emotional manipulation.

Making their way back into the hotel, the four shuffled off the elevator to their suite when they heard a clattering cart. Looking down the opposite hallway, they saw Esteban smiling softly as he handed a silver tray to another suite. “Can I get you anything else?” A pause. “Very well. Good night Ms. Tipton.”

Becker and Gantz shared a look and walked over as Esteban shut the door and started for the elevator. “Ms. Tipton? What’s the famous London Tipton doing in New York?”

Esteban froze. “There’s no Ms. Tipton here.” He tried to push the cart by.

Gatnz grabbed the cart. “No, you said Ms. Tipton.”

Esteban pushed again. “No, I said…Miss? Tip? Ton!” He paused. “They gave me a very big tip is what I mean.”

Becker pressed on the cart. “Esteban, you’re a terrible liar.”

“No I’m not!” Both Germans raised an eyebrow at that one. Esteban sighed and leaned on the cart. “I am. Yes, that is Ms. London in that room.”

Becker blinked. “Why? Shouldn’t she normally be out on the town by now?”

Esteban’s face fell. “You have not heard then. After the sinking of the SS Tipton, Ms. London has become agoraphobic.” Randel blinked. “She is afraid of the outside.”

“That’s awful,” Sunset said. “She never goes out of the suite?”

“Sometimes she opens the window,” Esteban said, looking back sadly at the suite. “She says that her psychologist told her that such things take time.”

Becker and Gantz said nothing, they just parted and let Esteban go to the elevators. Quietly, the pair walked through the door and settled into their rooms without even talking to Sunset and Randel. Sunset shook her head as she settled onto the couch. “What do you think, another revelation about the world they weren’t ready for?” Randel nodded. “Think it has to do with why they did stuff like punch the vent and check around for bugs?” Randel shrugged. “Well, guess we might as well turn in.” Radnel started to say goodnight when the door shut behind Sunset.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7: The 23^rd Precinct

Elisa slammed her locker shut, wishing desperately she could get herself under control. Three nights in a row, three nights of her emotions acting crazy whenever she left work. That first night she’d just thought it was funny she’d been so worked up, but after a night of crying her eyes out for a few blocks followed by a walk home where she kept thinking random questions, she wondered if the sudden spike in anger she was feeling wasn’t because of her own thoughts. Worse, only one man was capable of doing that to anyone, and Elisa didn’t think he’d have any reason to bother her anymore.

Xanatos. He’d destroyed her reputation, and then he’d leaned on the department about her constant investigations of his actions and “harassment” of his family. Capt. Chavez had barely been able to convince the department to just put her on traffic detail “for the foreseeable future”. Thinking about it didn’t help Elisa’s mood, but she figured she might as well let the anger run its course or risk blowing a gasket.

Saying her quick goodbyes and moving out onto the street, Elisa noticed that the anger disappeared the second she was on the sidewalk. “Xanatos, whatever you’re doing just get it over with.” Scowling, she cut a swift path through the city and straight for her apartment.

Becker shook his head as he read the New York Times across the street from Det. Maza’s building. “It’s worse than we thought. The entire country is a mashup of Disney series.”

Randel gulped. “Is that bad?”

Becker nodded. “This is a world where the villains of several movies and television series have achieved a victory. But there are sections here that make no sense.” Becker flipped the pages over to show. “Chicago and Hawaii are quiet from some kinds of ecological disasters, and look what Detroit is run by.”

Randel took the paper, and nearly dropped it when he read the words, “Kane Corporation.” “You…You don’t think…”

“I can’t say, I don’t recall any character known as Kane in any major Disney property.” Becker folded the paper up and looked back across the street. “Unfortunately Disney has made so much over the years, there could be entire series that we watched as children that we don’t remember now. This one is just one that we remember.”

Randel thought for a moment. “I don’t understand.”

Becker shrugged. “You expect us to remember years of shows and movies? The good ones we remember, they stand out. The ones that don’t, they just faded, disappeared, we can only remember so much.”

Randel nodded. “So that means there might be worse things out there?”

Becker nodded toward the apartments. “She’s here.”

Randel looked across the street, watching as Det. Maza stormed down the street with a confused and angry look on her face. As she threw the door open, Becker led Randel across the street. Looking left, Randel saw Gantz and Sunset following. Even without Sunset’s empathic skills, he knew that she was feeling more than frustrated.

“Inside, quickly.” Gantz hurried into the lobby, and moving for the stairs stopped and listened. The footsteps echoed on and on up the well until they stopped high above. “Top floor, what do you think?”

“All of us,” Becker said, joining Gantz as the two hurried up the stairs. Sunset and Randel followed close behind, watching as the pair hurried up to the loft on the top floor. Pausing, he checked that there were no other doors before going to the door. “Let us both handle this, jump in when we tell you both.” Knocking on the door, Becker and Gantz waited as they heard footsteps on the other side.

A visibly-confused Elisa stared at the two Germans for a split-second. “Hey, aren’t you two -- ”

“I understand that it’s late,” Becker said, not bothering with a fake American accent. “However, we believe that given what’s been happening the past few nights with your emotions might be a good reason to talk with us.”

Elisa blinked, eyes narrowing at Becker. “What are you talking about?”

“Suspicious, then overjoyed. Then crying until you got back to your apartment the next night. A night where you couldn’t’ stop questioning. Finally tonight, you’re so angry that you can’t stand it.” Becker held up four fingers. “Do you want to know what tomorrow night will hold?”

Elisa paused. Shutting the door, there was the sound of a latch being undone before Elisa opened the door. Becker and Gantz smiled as they walked in, but the four froze when Elisa shut the door and held a gun up at them. “You better start explaining before I decide I’ll like you even less.”

Becker and Gantz slowly held up their hands, elbowing for Sunset and Randel to do the same. Elisa motioned for them to come into the apartment, and Sunset thought that the place looked pretty nice for a cop in the city. The four sat on her couch, Randel nearly squeezing them all into the sides of it. “Alright, what’s going on?”

Gantz’s face was cool and flat as he spoke. “As strange as your life is, Det. Maza, we need you to keep your mind open.”

“What are you -- ”

“You’ve spent your life trying to be a good cop and you succeeded.” Gantz stared hard at Elisa, but there was no malice or anger. “Then a short time ago you meet a group of individuals who you had no idea about. Individuals who you couldn’t believe existed until you meet them, touched them, talked to them.” Elisa’s gun started to fall.

Becker stood up and started to walk about the apartment. “Xanatos brought them here, from Scotland to Manhattan. They took the name of their new home as their clan name. They stood alongside you, fought and bled alongside you. But their secrecy was paramount, you couldn’t even tell your partner about them without risking their safety and trust.”

Gantz joined the pacing, the two circling Elisa as she tried to keep her eyes on one and her pistol on the other. “You tried your best to work alongside them, but Xanatos didn’t like your pushing him, did he? He decided that your constant investigating and questioning was too much trouble to deal with. He decided that you needed to pay for your actions.”

“If we’re wrong by all means tell us,” Becker said, pausing as he walked. Looking down, he saw a cat rubbing up against his leg. Part of him felt a sudden giddiness at an actual cat that didn't talk and wasn't feral, but he had to hold himself back from squealing and grabbing it. He needed to focus on being tough, the cat would be there later. “Your silence, however, speaks volumes.”

Elisa glared at the two of them, then at Randel and Sunset. “You two want to jump in or is this their show?”

Sunset held up her hands. “Leave us out, it’s their bit.”

Gantz walked to Elisa’s table and sat down, grabbing an apple from the bowl in the center. Tossing it up and down, he gave a small grin. “What if I told you that we’re at a similar purpose. That we share a common opponent, and that we know things that you don’t.”

Elisa’s eyes narrowed. “What can you possible know that I don’t by now?”

Gantz took a bite of the apple, and forced himself to hold back from devouring the fruit then and there. “You see, we believe that our knowledge and abilities give us a unique advantage against our mutual opponent. A man who, while not bound by our morals, is easily persuaded by the facts presented to him.” He took another bite and didn’t have to fake his smile. “Of course, it is on you whether or not to take this offer. Once presented, it is very sensitive to the sands of time.”

Elisa slowly lowered her weapon but didn’t stop glaring. “How’d you do that trick to my emotions?”

“No tricks, Det. Maza,” Becker said, walking to Sunset and patting her on the shoulder. “True magic is never a trick. You of all people know this.”

“And you know magic,” Elisa said, almost dismissively. “You haven’t given me one good reason to trust any of you though.”

Gantz shrugged, taking another bite of the apple. “Talk to the clan's leader and ask him who betrayed them at Castle Wyvern.” Getting up, Gantz took another apple and tossed it to Becker. “We’ll be out in front of the precinct tomorrow night, just before sundown. Whether or not you want to accept what we’re offering, well that depends on how much longer you can bear being a traffic cop.” Striking for the door, he nodded for Randel and Sunset to follow. “If you decide you want to continue being in the middle of an intersection for the rest of your career, well I suppose we can give you some dancing tips.” Smiling, Gantz shut the door but said nothing until he was well away from the apartment. “Corporal, please, can you try to look slightly more intimidating?”

Randel blinked. “Me? What do you mean?”

“You didn’t play the part,” Becker said through a mouthful of green apple with juice running down his chin. “Ugh, this is so bitter.”

Sunset’s eyebrow went up. “Then why are you still eating it?” Becker shrugged and took another bite. “Fine, but why does it matter that we look intimidating?” Sunset glanced at Randel and kept her mouth shut.

“World like a television show from our childhoods,” Gantz said, tossing a small apple core away. “Think about it, all of it functions off that logic. We’ll have to swap our roles between each series we interact with.”

Sunset groaned. “And how many series will that be?”

“For now just the two,” Becker said, still digging into the apple.

“And you’re not worried about any of this?” Sunset stepped in front of the two with a firm expression. “You might think we can play all this off, somehow duck and dodge around all of this. Well what if your ideas aren’t as good as you think in this case? What if your trying to play this all like TV shows gets us all trapped, or worse?”

Becker and Gantz shared a look before stepping around either side of Sunset. “Then we improvise a new plan.”

Randel stepped up to Sunset and put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, maybe they do know what they’re doing?” Sunset flinched away, glaring up at Randel, but quickly calmed down. “Maybe, but I still don’t trust them the way you apparently think we should.”

Randel scratched his head. “Aren’t you the team leader in this situation though? Can’t you tell them what you want them to do?”

“I can,” Sunset said, staring at Gantz and Becker as the two kept walking. “The thing is, they’ve been right so far. Depending on how tomorrow goes?” Sunset sighed. “How much are we willing to risk?”

Elisa stood up to the top of the precinct’s clock tower an hour later, watching as her friend stared out onto the city. “They knew so much, more than even Xanatos would.” The figure shifted, turning away from Elisa as she spoke. “They asked who betrayed you at Castle Wyvern, they know the answer they want to hear.” The figure shifted at the statement, glaring back over his shoulder. “What should I tell them?”

Sunset paced around the street across from the precinct, shaking her head. “This isn’t gonna work, she’s probably gonna think we’re dangerous.” Becker and Gantz both stared at her a moment. “Well at the very least she’ll think we’re crazy.”

Gantz feigned offense. “Us, crazy?” Becker fainted into Gantz’s arms. “Us, crazy! Madmen adrift in the multiverse!”

“Lost!” Becker’s arms shot up dramatically just before Gantz dropped him, Becker falling flat on the pavement. “I -- ” Becker froze and jumped up. “I really hope what I just landed in was water.”

Randel chuckled, but stopped and tapped Gantz on the shoulder. Following Randel’s gaze, everyone saw Det. Maza walking up to the precinct in her red jacket. Watching they saw her walk to the side of the building and into a maintenance door. Leaving it open behind her. Gantz nodded. “This way.”

The four went into the maintenance door, Sunset making sure to stay behind Randel on the way up. The first few floors looked relatively well-maintained, but there was an obvious and troubling demarcation between the floors used by the police and the clock tower above. A rusting iron fire door stood open, and the two troopers pushed through heedless of what might be behind it. Sunset watched as a maintained police station suddenly turned into rotting wood and rusted iron piping with exposed wiring next to every handrail.

Gantz and Becker paused at the top of the stairs, taking a breath. “Whatever happens,” Becker thought to them. “Remember that they are good men.”

Opening the door, Gantz and Becker led the way through what looked like a home. There was a TV set on a stand, with a worn, ragged couch before it. A gnarled tin dog bowl was next to it, so dinged up that Sunset couldn't make out the name on it. There was a kitchen, two or three dirty plates soaking in the sink. Sunset kept her eyes up, scanning the rafters and mechanisms of the clock. Nothing moved above them, the clock stood silently frozen at just past seven.

A door opened to the balcony outside the clocktower, Elisa motioning to them. “Up here.” Following her out into the night air, Gantz and Becker turned to their left to see Elisa standing to them, her raven hair flowing with the wind. “You wanted a question answered?”

Gantz nodded, a smug grin plastered on his face. “Who betrayed the clan in Scotland?”

Elisa’s eyes narrowed. “The Captain of the Guard.”

Becker clapped his hands, smiling broadly as he want back to his natural accent. “Wunderbar! Correct, Det. Maza, all was as it should be. Now, there remains only one question.” Becker’s eyes narrowed at Elisa. “Where are they?”

It was Elisa’s turn to smile, and she nodded behind the four. Turning, the team watched as four shapes came out of the night sky at the tower.

They were massive beings, soaring down on the city through the darkness like nightmares come to life. Each beat of their wings shook the sky, and as they landed on the parapet their claws crushed the stone underneath. Their eyes shone, and Sunset tried to bolt for the door. That was when she saw a fresh pair of glowing eyes waiting down the stairs, and a terrible growl from below. Turning back, she took in the figures that surrounded them. One seemed smaller than the rest, but with a terrible smile and menacing cackle. Another was massive, wider than anyone Sunset had seen and probably stronger than even Big Mac. A third stood in profile, his long beak shining where it caught the light with a mane of white hair.

“You have sought us,” the last one said, his voice a commanding baritone and his bearing noble. “They say to be careful what you wish for, you may receive it.”

Smiling, Becker and Gantz bowed. “Hail, Goliath. Leader of the Manhattan Clan.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 8: The Wastes, Middleton

Fluttershy nodded as the cockroach sitting on her finger twitched its antennae at her. “Oh yes, I can completely understand what you’re saying. It’s so hard to find your favorite foods after the best places have been closed down.”

“Best places closed down,” Lee thought. “But the Axiom fled the planet hundreds of years ago. How can this roach somehow talk about these places being gone like it happened so soon in the past?”

Martis was too busy trying to avoid stepping on anyone important. “Uh, did I miss something? Why are we letting cockroaches lead us? It’s been days, for all we know they’re going in the wrong direction.”

The cockroach jumped toward Martis and rapidly waggled the antennae. “Oh, he’s just not used to this. Mr. Martis, he feels like you insulted him. Remember, he and his family are helping us to get to somewhere safe after all. We should be thankful they’re doing this at all.”

“Quite right,” Lee said, nodding to Martis. “I personally am quite thankful that your family and yourself are willing to assist us.” The cockroach reared up, Martis daring to think that it was proud of getting the compliment.

“We’re getting to the outskirts,” Brodeur said, pointing to a rise a half-kilometer away.

Martis scanned the area. “How can you tell?”

Brodeur pointed to several protrusions in the ground. “Those are chimneys.”

The four and their escort of cockroaches made their way into what was a housing development. Martis shook his head, seeing the weathered bricks of the chimneys rising out of the sands like lost islands from the seas. “What happened here?”

“Man’s hubris,” Lee said, idly kicking at one of the chimneys as he tore another chunk off a piece of MRE bread and dropped it to the roaches around his feet. “Combined with his incessant need to find instant gratification in all things.” He turned and saw Martis staring at him.

Brodeur spoke up. “Mankind used up the planet and fled.”

“Used up the planet?” Martis gave an incredulous look to the Frenchman. “How can you use up a planet? I mean it’s so massive, you could never use it up.”

“Can’t you?” Brodeur shook his head at a half-buried sign for the “B-N-L GREAT LAKES HOUSING DEVELOPMENT”. “If people are born faster than they die, they need food and homes. They need technologies to live in the world they inhabit, to keep with the pace of their society.” He held up the worn flyer. “Their entire economic system may hinge on consuming and consuming until they die and can’t consume anymore.”

Martis blinked. “But, but there’s so many natural resources in the world! You’re saying there’s so many people here that they used them all up?”

“MV-6 has a world of nearly eight billion individual people,” Brodeur said. “Can you imagine that sir? Eight billion? More people alive than ever lived before them combined?”

Martis looked over at Fluttershy. “But you live in a world like that, you never said you had problems like this!”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Not quite as bad, but I’ve seen that there’s acres of forests being cut down every day where we can’t afford to lose them. It’s why I’m a part of charities dedicated to preserving the forests and wildlands.”

Martis blinked, leaning on the half-buried sign of the development. “I don’t believe it. You’re…You’re serious? It can’t be possible, I mean the world is just…I mean it’s the world right?”

“A world where even the trees take years to regrow and the fields take months to revitalize,” Brodeur said, Fluttershy nodding along. “Did you think that the world can be dug up and used for so long at such a rate that it wouldn’t be used up?”

Martis shuddered at the thought. The world used up? The idea that life could no longer go on? The Empire had always taken pride in the fact that it could supply its own needs for itself and still export to other nations. The thought of those resources running out? Of the Empire becoming too weak to sustain itself?

“It’s quite the thought, isn’t it?” Lee crumpled up the wrapper for the MRE bread and tossed it over his shoulder without even thinking about it. Several of the cockroaches stopped to stare at him for that one. “Brodeur, when we get to a window see if you can’t find a map or address of some kind? If we know where we are so we can begin to figure out how to leave.”

Brodeur nodded, and at the first house he saw where there was a broken window he broke the glass still in the way and maneuvered himself inside. The house was utterly mundane, a bedroom for a married couple he guessed. The bed was large though, and even with time looked soft and inviting. Hesitantly, Brodeur put a hand on it and felt the softness of the ragged comforter. “I wonder how warm it is at night,” he thought. He pushed the thought away though, the beds were warm enough in the SGC.

P33 up, he moved through the house slow and smooth. Even in Wall-E there still might be dangers. Not all of the Wall-E units might have broken down, and Brodeur had seen enough films where the robots went berserk and tried to kill everyone they came across. That was when he heard the chittering, and looked at the well to his left to see several dozen cockroaches scuttling along. “Can you understand me?” One of the roaches nodded emphatically. “I need you and your family to hurry down and tell me if anything dangerous is down there.” The roach nodded again, and chittering to the others the group hurried downstairs. Blinking at what he just did, Brodeur shrugged. A resource is a resource, best to use it if you have it.

After several minutes the roaches scurried back up. “No threats?” The roach shook sideways, and nodding Brodeur opened up one of his own MREs and broke off a small hunk of bread. “It says there’s something called an ‘M&M’ for the desert. I’ll give it to you after dinner.” The roaches started to bounce up and down on the wall as he went into the ground floor of the house.

It was typical American suburbia, a la Phil of the Future and Lizzie McGuire. There was a living room, a kitchen, rooms to the sides for entertaining and laundry and a door to a basement. Brodeur didn’t bother opening it, too many times he’d gone into basements and only found things he regretted. Something tugged at his mind though, but he couldn’t place what exactly it was. Nothing looked to abnormal. It was a typical American house, standard for the turn of the 20^th-21^st century sitcoms.

“Wait,” he thought. “Wall-E was set in the future. A future where BNL was essentially everything to the people.” Looking around, he saw no sign of the BNL logo. There was no trace in any of the faded photos that the family wore the red jumpsuits ubiquitous in the film. Brodeur’s mind started to race, and grabbing one of the frames on the fireplace mantle he bolted for the window.

Lee nodded as his comrade clambered back out onto the sands. “Well, should we hold on the down payment or is the property worth the price?”

“Look at this photograph,” Brodeur said, shoving the picture in Lee’s face as the cockroaches scurried back to their fellows with the bread on their backs. “What do you see?”

Lee stared at the picture for a moment. It was of a family, probably the former homeowners, standing out front with smiles and formal clothes. “I’m looking at them perhaps going to a service?”

Brodeur shoved the picture closer. “And what aren’t they wearing?”

Lee blinked. “Well I certainly hope they're wearing everything, this is a family portrait and I’d hope the parents have some kind of restraint regardless of their personal proclivities.”

Brodeur facepalmed. “They’re in nice outfits. Suits, dresses, but what aren’t they?” Lee didn’t answer. “What aren’t they wearing in relation to what universe we’ve found ourselves in?!”

Lee shook his head, but as he stared at the picture his eyes went wide as dinner plates. “They aren’t in the jumpsuits…They aren’t wearing anything from Buy-N-Large?”

“Or at least this is from before it became their government,” Brodeur said, tossing the picture away. “Which makes no sense, because before the Axiom departed everything was ruled by that corporation.”

Fluttershy squeaked fearfully. “So you’re saying that we might be in a worse situation?”

Lee nodded. “Perhaps. It’s entirely possible that there was no way for mankind to leave the planet in this timeline.” Lee sighed and rubbed at his face. “We may be the only living humans on the planet.”

Martis and Fluttershy both froze, but the lead cockroach started clicking. “Oh?” Another round of clicking, and Fluttershy clapped happily. “Oh how wonderful!”

Lee’s face brightened. “So there are other humans?” He paused. “Hold on, he just said that his favorite source of food is gone.”

Fluttershy let the roach speak. “He says that it is gone, and it was his favorite because it was the only one safe enough to eat from.”

The two troopers looked to each other. “Safe? Safe how?”

Fluttershy blinked. “That awful! He says it’s because the only other place doesn't have things that wouldn't kill him and his family!”

Lee nodded. “I see. And where is this place?”

Fluttershy gaped at the idea. “You want to go there?”

“Unfortunately, there are dimensions where the roaches are not as helpful, adorable, nor as intelligent as our good friend here. It is possible that whoever is doing this may not realize what they’re even doing.” Lee looked to the roach and nodded. “Please guide us sir, and we’ll leave several MREs behind for your family.”

The roach looked back to Fluttershy, then turned and nodded to Lee.

“I knew it’d only be a matter of time,” Bonnie Rockwaller said, her expression locked in what Applejack could only call “peak smugness”. “I knew once I took the team over I’d finally get what I want for a change.”

Campbell nodded. “Precisely. Possible was too ‘clean’ of a leader. Our brand is looking for someone with enough of an edge to attract girls who know what they want and are willing to go for it.”

Applejack pulled desperately at the brim of her hat, gritting her teeth even after just ten minutes of listening to Bonnie go on about how great she was and how smart the “company reps” were for reaching out to her. A smaller part also hated that so far it had been so easy to play the girl’s wants to what they needed.

“Excuse me, Ms. Rockwaller?” Baker leaned in from the back of the car. “I’m curious, what was it that made you the choice to become the captain of the team?”

Bonnie glanced haughtily into the rearview mirror. “Well, Possible just couldn’t handle things anymore. Said she needed to slow down and ‘re-evaluate’ life.” Bonnie smiled happily as she blew through a stop sign. “Sad for her, great for me.”

“The death of us!” Applejack glared at the back of Bonnie’s head. “What on Earth is with this girl? Wish Sunset was here, then maybe these two could think to us exactly what’s going on!”

The four pulled into a large parking lot, and Applejack immediately recognized what it was without Bonnie mentioning it. “Here we are, Middleton High. So, what do you need exactly?”

“Well the school itself will need to condone the use of the mascot and cheer uniform for our efforts,” Campbell said, lying as naturally as if he was born to do it. Applejack figured there was a joke about Kinsey in there somewhere. “Otherwise there’s all kinds of licensing and merchandising problems and we want to just avoid that as quickly as possible.”

Bonnie blinked. “Wait, why wouldn’t you go through the superintendent of the school?”

“A special clause in the school’s charter,” Baker said. “The principal has overall authority over the decisions regarding the presentation of Middleton to the world.”

Bonnie quickly went back to her half-grin, half-sneer. “No wonder Barkin loves his job.”

Applejack shook her head. “Yeah, guess everyone around here likes being in charge.”

“Hey, don’t be jealous blondie,” Bonnie said, flipping her hair. “Not all of us can get what we have without a bottle of dye.” Baker had to throw an arm up to keep Applejack from lunging into the front seat to strangle Bonnie as Campbell and Bonnie left the car.

Heading through the doors, Campbell instantly started taking everything in. There was a small trophy case near the doors displaying Middleton’s wins and championships. A banner reading “GO MAD DOGS!” hung across the atrium, and in the halls Campbell could hear students talking about clubs and team practices before finally going home for the day.

“Barkin’s office is this way,” Bonnie said, confidently striding down the nearest hallway. “You sure you don’t want to leave the talking to me?”

“Oh I think we can handle this well enough on our own,” Campbell said, waving dismissively. “It’s all contracts and business and how the money will fall for the school. Separate from your contract of course.” Applejack could hear the “Cha-ching” in the girl’s head going off.

The four quickly found themselves in front of an unassuming office, the window on the door reading, “S. Barkin – Principal”. Bonnie threw open the door, her arms wide as she stood triumphant in the room. “Mr. B, your star cheerleader is finally moving up in the world.”

The man behind the desk was bulky, not quite overweight but clearly packing pounds. He raised his eyebrow high as he looked away from his computer at Bonnie. “Ms. Rockwaller, I keep reminding you that you need to knock before entering my office.” He looked sideways and grunted, “For the eighth time today.”

“This is bigger than my lockers,” Bonnie said, Applejack starting to twitch at the girl’s statement that she needed “lockers”. “This is about me becoming the face of…” She looked back to Campbell. “What was that company again?”

“That’d be shut the fuck up and get your hands in the air, both of you!” Campbell dropped his accent and pulled his revolver so fast that Applejack barely processed it. “Now!”

Barkin instantly threw his hands up, but Bonnie looked like she was trying to process that she wasn’t about to be the new face of cheerleading to the world. “Wait, you’re not from a marketing company?”

Applejack facepalmed. “Is everyone in this dimension as silly as she is?”

“No, for the most part they’ve just seen it all,” Campbell said. “Alright, both of you away from the computer. Keep them covered, I’ll check the student files.”

Barkin glared at Campbell. “Oh no, hang on a second buddy! Those files are the personal information of Middleton students and family, and I’ll be -- ” Campbell didn’t even bother looking away from the computer and he fired a shot into the ceiling. “Giving you the password.”

One quick password later, and Campbell was on the network. “C’mon, where is she…Possible, Possible…”

Bonnie gasped, storming over to Campbell despite Baker having a gun on her. “Possible?! She’s the only reason you wanted to talk to me?!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Can’t imagine why anyone wouldn't want to talk to you.” Bonnie turned to glare at Applejack, but the cowgirl just pointed at Baker’s revolver and Bonnie went back to glaring. “So who’s Possible?”

“Kim Possible,” Campbell said, typing and clicking away. “Special operative, hero.” He paused and grinned at Bonnie. “Also the best cheerleader Middleton has ever had.”

Applejack nodded, pulling Bonnie back to where Barkin stood. “And she’ll be able to help us get home?”

“Hopefully,” Campbell said, leaning back in the chair. “It’s odd though, I don’t remember her ever being kicked off the cheerleading team.”

Barkin shook his head. “She wasn’t kicked off, she chose to leave.”

Campbell blinked. “What?”

“Well after what happened, we all figured she’d need some time to collect herself. When she said she was stepping down no one questioned it.” Barkin sighed. “It was tough when her mother said she was stepping away from school as well.”

Campbell rose slowly from the desk. “Left school? As in gave up?” Barkin nodded, looking confused. “No, no that can’t be right.”

“What is it,” Applejack said, moving to Campbell. “What can’t be right?”

“Kim Possible doesn’t ‘give up’, not from what I remember,” Campbell said, starting to pace about the room. “She takes on mad scientists and criminal geniuses as a hobby, she’s traveled the world saving stranded explorers and endangered scientists.”

Baker thought for a moment. “It is the multiverse sir,” he said. “Maybe we wound up in one where the she did give up after all?”

“Question then,” Campbell said, looking worried. “What was enough to get her of all characters to give up?”

Bonnie blinked. “Are you seriously forgetting about us because you want Possible right now? Ugh, so typical, everything is about her.”

Baker shook his head. “You must have a lot of issues in your life if being held at gunpoint doesn’t faze you.” Applejack’s eyebrow rose at the trooper. “I didn’t say I don’t have any.”

“Both of you stop it,” Campbell grunted, checking the windows and seeing no sign of anyone noticing anything odd. “If Kim Possible surrendered that’s not the worst of it all. The problem is the likes of her rogues gallery. I’ve got the address we’re looking for, and I don’t think Ms. Rockwaller will oppose driving us, will she?”

Bonnie scoffed. “As if! You don’t get to tell me what to do after pulling this you jerk!”

The three looked to each other, and nodded to Barkin. “You’ll do.”

Barkin blinked. “Wait, what are you talking about!? I’m an educator, I’m not going to take a bunch of heavily armed lunatics claiming they’re from another dimension to one of the students under my charge, even if she isn’t in school right now!” Baker’s muzzle drifted over to Barkin’s face. “But I can be convinced.”

Campbell nodded, unplugging the computer and smashing it on the ground. “Thank you. Applejack, use this to bind and gag her.” Applejack blinked as Campbell tossed her some tape and several replacement rolls. “She’ll be fine, just make sure she can breathe.”

Applejack looked down at the tape, then up at Bonnie with a grin. “Been waiting for something like this all day.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 9: Danville, Mojave Desert

Pinkie skipped happily down the streets, waving at everyone she saw. “Wow, it sure is convenient that so many people know where that platypus lives!”

“Only because Phineas and Ferb know have helped this whole town several dozen times by now.” Shaking his head, Durand scoped out Danberg and couldn’t believe how little had changed with Doofenshmirtz in power. Durand had vague memories of what such a world would be like, a dark and foreboding situation where the entire city was transformed into a twisted image of the city they were in now and everyone lived in fear of the name Doofenshmirtz. Not a normal American tri-state area where people lived and worked without concern.

“It’ll be a long walk corporal,” Schneider said. “Can we perhaps use Phineas and Ferb as a way to get a free ride? The only other option is take a car for ourselves.”

“Too risky,” Durand said. “We don’t know who’s watching, or if they’re even who we think they are.”

Schneider motioned around at Danville. “It’s Phineas and Ferb. The police would probably simply tell us to stop it before they shrugged and went back to eating their donuts.”

Pinkie leaned next to Schneider shaking her head. “Uh-uh. We’re supposed to be the good guys, we shouldn’t go stealing people’s cars. Actually, we shouldn’t be stealing anything.” Schneider’s glare only earned a smile from Pinkie.

“You really think they’ll be able to help though?” Russo kept reading through the newspaper, a worried look on his face. “Xanatos is in New York, DrakkTech in the south, Judge Doom?” He held up the newspaper and started shaking it. “It says he’s mayor of Los Angeles!”

“Then we have the boys make us some kind of teleporter, or thought-radio,” Durand said, throwing up his hands in confusion. “I don’t know, we might as well accept that everything’s gone to le lune!”

Pinkie shrugged as she skipped along. “Well whatever happens I’m sure that we’ll all be fine!”

Russo shook his head as he went back to reading the newspaper. “You know,” he said, speaking in Italian. “I’ve been thinking about what might have happened.”

“Like the rest of us,” Durand said. “We just wound up in a universe where Doof won, it isn’t exactly impossible to imagine.”

“It’s not just that,” Russo said. “Scattered to the winds like we were? There’s something else at work here. I think he is active. More than we should want him to be.”

Durand blinked. “You don’t think he broke free?”

“Of course not,” Russo laughed. “He was to make reality his plaything. This isn’t a plaything, it’s too kind, too peaceful. No, this is from another.”

“Hey, look at that!”

Schneider jumped in, ignoring Pinkie. “Wait, who else is there?”

Russo sighed. “Ricci was right, you can’t appreciate hidden gems.”

Durand stared at Russo for a second, trying to comprehend what he’d just heard. “Are…Are you being serious? We are trying to figure out how to get back to the SGC, and you’re talking about that series right now?”

“It also had dimensional travel,” Russo snapped. “We’ve already seen that some media exists showing alternate dimensions, why wouldn’t this be the case here?”

“Uh, guys?”

“Because there were at least a dozen shows with episodes involving dimensional jumps,” Schneider said. “Any one of them could have had some kind of effect on this universe. The SGC noted that there’s an alien race that fears our actions could create a breakdown of reality.”

“But that ignored the question, is this a case of the universes converging or…” Durand blinked. Where had he heard that word be essential before?

“Guys!” Pinkie grabbed Durand and pulled him down to eye level. “Is that something important?”

Following Pinkie’s finger, Durand saw a steamroller speeding down the street, three teens in the cab screaming as it careened through the neighborhood. One was a redheaded girl in a white jacket trying to hold onto the arm of a black boy that was trying to keep from landing on the pavement. At the wheel was a boy with brown hair in a cowlick trying to man the wheel. “No, we should be fine, that happens all the time in this town.”

Pinkie’s smile couldn’t be restrained as she jumped into the air. “THIS IS THE BEST PLACE EVER!”

Satisfying Pinkie’s need to see the random, the team kept moving for the target: A small unassuming suburban home, with a deep green lawn and two shrubs out front. Durand smiled. “What’s the date on that paper?”

Russo checked and grinned. “Third of July, right in the middle of Summer.”

Pinkie was grinning excitedly as they approached the front door. “Oh, what kind of geniuses live here?”

“The best kind,” Durand said, knocking on the front of the house. “The kind who give without any thought of what they get in return.”

An motherly woman with red hair answered the door, her blue eyes sparkling as she took the sight of the four in. “Oh, hi there. Can I help you?”

“Yes ma’am,” Durand said, putting on his American accent. “Is this the Flynn-Fletcher house?”

“Yes, yes it is.”

Durand made an awkward smile. “Well, oh this is so cool.” Durand held out a hand. “You see, we’re big fans of your work, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher. Myself especially, my parents said they met each other at one of your performances.”

The woman chuckled, blushing a little. “Oh, stop, I’m not Lindana anymore. I’m just plain old Linda.”

“Yes, but still, we’d like to speak with you please? You see we’re filming a documentary about one-hit wonders.” Blinking, Durand motioned to Pinkie. “My crew will be grabbing our equipment of course, but we wanted to make sure we could ask your cooperation before proceeding.”

“Oh, certainly, come on in.” Linda motioned for the group to come inside, and in the time it took her to turn back to the door Pinkie was at the door holding several cases of film and sound equipment. “Oh, wow, that was fast.”

Pinkie shrugged as she carried it all in. “Eh, it’s what they pay me for.”

Several blocks away, the owner of an electronics store was left staring at the IOU left by the pink blur that had taken some of his film equipment reading, “NEEDED TO HELP SAVE THE MULTIVERSE! IOU!” Shrugging, he went back to sweeping the floor behind the front counter.

Durand smiled as his “film crew” set up in the living room. “Ma’am, if I may, do you have anyone that we can speak with as well? It’d be perfect to ask your family’s opinions on what it’s like having a mother who was once one of the world’s premiere one-hit wonder artists.”

“Oh, you really think so?” Linda thought for a second. “Well let me just call the boys in and see if they’re interested.”

Durand nodded, waiting until Linda was out of the room to turn to Pinkie. “Great job, now we have a perfect cover.”

Schneider glared at Durand. “You knew this would work?!”

“Remember back in Fiore, MV-8 said that she made an entire sound system appear almost out of nowhere. Before that, at the hearing, she pulled out an entire presentation from underneath a desk.” Durand turned and grinned at Pinkie. “We can weaponize this.”

Pinkie blinked, eyes narrowing. “Wait a second buster. I’m not just some pistol, I’m Pinkamena Diane Pie! You’re saying you’re gonna use me like I’m something you can just point at people?”

“Poor choice of words,” Durand said, holding up his hands defensively. “I’m just saying, you’ve skilled at making the impossible happen. This is good for the MVTF.”

Pinkie’s eyes narrowed further, until she smiled and went back to setting up. “Okie dokie lokie!”

Russo shook his head. “There’s something wrong with that girl.”

“And here they are,” Linda said, ushering two small boys into the room. “Everyone, these are my two sons, Phineas and Ferb.”

“Hi there,” Phineas said happily. Pinkie smiled, but couldn’t believe how the two looked. Phineas had an angular head almost to the point of it being a triangle, while Ferb had a massive nose with an almost invisible mouth and two massive eyes. Phineas had a patch of red atop his head, where Ferb had a mess of short shaggy green locks. “Nice to meet you all.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Durand said, going back to his American accent. “Is this the whole family?”

“Oh, shoot, I forgot Candace is helping Lawrence at his shop.” Grabbing her cell, Linda called only for a techno ringtone singing Alien Heart echo from the other room. “That man. Alright kids, I’ve got to run out and get this to your father. Now both of you behave and I’ll be right back. Talk to the nice documentary crew and I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Bye mom.” Still smiling, Phineas looked to Durand. “So, you guys aren’t really making a documentary are you?”

Durand grinned, dropping his American accent. “What gave us away?

“Well first you’ve got no way to compensate for the natural light in the room,” Phineas said, pointing at the cameras and windows. “There’s also the lack of makeup artists, even in a documentary most people want to make sure they look as good as they want to be portrayed. Your boom is way too close to be useful, and finally one of your assistants is pink.” Phineas’ eyes narrowed, but he was still smiling impishly. “So what’s really going on here?”

Durand smiled, leaning back in his seat. “There’s no fooling either one of you. Very well. You see, we’re all travelers from another dimension. Two dimensions actually, brought together by a third. We explore the multiverse, and right now we need help. Our teams are scattered through this dimension, and we need any means you have to reunite them.”

Phineas’ eyes narrowed. “Hmmmmm. Ferb, what do you think?” Ferb gave a thumbs up. “Then I know what we’re gonna do today! We’ll need to start on the work right away though, we still think mom deserves to have a documentary about herself.”

Durand nodded. “We’ll help however you both need. Where do we start?”

“Well, we need a ton of titanium and a few miles of copper wiring.” Phineas waved his hand. “We should have all this stuff here in a half-hour. I gotta ask though, how’d you know to come to us?”

Durand smiled. “You see, in our world your brother and yourself are the main characters of a cartoon series. Children in my home nation watch your adventures through summer, with your inventions and journeys and Candace constantly trying to bust you both.”

“Wow, guess we can cross that one off the list.” Phineas watched as Ferb pulled out a massive folder and flipped to a page in the middle, crossing it off with a red marker. “Who knew we were already cartoon stars?”

As the two went off to start their work, Schneider set the boom down. “What about their mother though? You remember how this show went, it’s always touch and go.”

“Not to worry,” Durand said, waving the concern away. “If it wasn’t Candace getting in her own way it was Perry and Doof fighting that would hold their mother up.”

A small growl sounded, and with a laugh Durand turned to see a small rectangle of a green platypus walking into the room. “And there he is, the agent we need to see! Agent P, I’m sorry but we need to speak with you.” The platypus growled, and Durand shook his head. “No, Agent P, we know who you are. We need your help against Doofenshmirtz, what can you tell us?”

Pinkie leaned in and shook her head. “Yeah, I don’t think this platypus is gonna tell us much of anything.”

“No, just wait,” Durand said, his smile starting to drop. “Maj. Monogram? Carl? Gentlemen, we know you’re here! Please, we just need to talk with you, we can help you.” Looking around to the TV and paintings, Durand shook his head.

Pinkie slowly pulled Perry out of Durand’s hands and set him down. “Uh, are you sure you’re okay?”

Durand blinked. “Something is very, very wrong in Danville.” Perry growled.

The sun hung high in the sky, Alice trying to shut her eyes and sleep in the shade of the robot they’d all apparently decided to settle down behind. She desperately wished the sun would set, she was sick of the feel of her sweat-soaked clothes on her skin. Still, the civilians clothes from SG-1’s world were leagues better for this heat than the heavy wool of the Empire’s uniforms.

Rainbow let out another groan. “C’mon, I know I can reach that city in no time.”

“For the dozenth time no,” Belenko grunted, trying to keep herself under the shade as much as she could. She was taller than most of her team, so it was easy for her to wind up hanging out of something. “You’re going to get yourself killed, just stay with us and wait.”

“Well what are you so worried about,” Rainbow said firmly. “That city’s gonna have to be the place where we go to get some rest, and some answers.”

“And how do you think people might react to seeing a girl with rainbow hair, blue skin, and wings sprouting out of her back?” Garcia shook his head with a grin on his face. “Or did you think it’s perfectly normal that we look different from you.”

Rainbow huffed. “Fine, so I look different compared to you guys. Well Alice looks different too, why aren’t you worried about her?”

“Because she isn’t a braggart or show pony,” Belenko said, unable to keep from letting her annoyance slip out. “She’s a professional, you’re still a kid.”

“So what if I am,” Rainbow shouted. “Weren’t you a kid once too? I mean can’t you remember being eighteen?”

Belenko nodded. “Considering it was two years ago.”

Rainbow blinked and shot up. Alice too for that matter. “What?”

Garcia held up his hand and pointed at Belenko. “Twenty.” Then down at himself. “Ninteen.”

Rainbow’s jaw dropped, but Alice shook her head clear and spoke, “Wait, and you’ve been in how many engagements?”

“Major or minor?” Garcia grinned. “Ma’am, you are talking to survivors of the retreat from Berlin all the way to our first meeting with the MVTF at Shuhia Taiba. Seven major engagements against PAC forces, dozens of skirmishes and small actions against their scouts and commando units.” He sat up and grinned. “Not counting what we’ve done alongside you all.”

Alice’s head dropped. “They’re younger than me and still have more experience as soldiers,” she thought. “It made sense in my own section, but here…”

Belenko bolted up. “Incoming. Blades, on our left.”

Alice heard it now too, the sound of the wind whipping up in the distance. Garcia was already up, checking his pistol and scanning the skies. “Well, I suppose this had to happen.”

Rainbow pumped her fists. “Yes, we’re finally gonna fight!”

“You’re not going to do anything,” Belenko barked. “You froze in Fiore, we can’t trust you not to freeze here!”

Rainbow glared at Belenko. “That was different, I know what to do this time!”

“So you’re ready to kill?” Belenko glared at Rainbow. “You’re ready to kill the people trying to kill you if it comes down to it?”

Rainbow stumbled. “Well, I mean I’ll fight them -- ”

“Shut the fuck up then.” The whirring was getting closer, and Belenko looked to Alice. “Orders?”

Alice took a breath. “Hold fire until they prove they’re hostile. If they do…” Alice swallowed her fear and drew her own pistol, racking the slide and thumbing the safety. “If they do fire, put them down.”

The whirring jumped over one of the hulks, and two strange aircraft appeared. Alice blinked, trying to rectify what the devices were. They were a circular craft, their blades spinning around them with the pilot exposed in a small cockpit. The set to hovering around the four, one on either side as they circled. “You have entered a restricted area. Lay down your weapons or you will be eliminated.”

Alice nodded to Belenko and Garcia, slowly lowering her pistol. “I’ll handle this.” Garcia and Belenko both shared a nervous look, but still placed their pistols on the ground. Five minutes later a larger craft with two rotors on either side swooped down, and under the watchful gaze of three armed men the four were loaded up and taken off. Alice sat proudly, every inch the noble officer as they were flown to the city. Rainbow just looked angry, noticing that the men kept staring at her blue skin and whispering into their mics to each other over the drone of the rotors. Belenko and Garcia just leaned back in their seats, and Alice was shocked to realize that both were actually sleeping.

Twenty minutes later the aircraft shuddered into a landing, and Alice waited as she was unbuckled and shoved from the aircraft. Thankfully the manacles they used in this dimension had a kind of soft padding inside, she could only imagine what pain she’d be in if they hadn’t designed them as such. The four were quickly shoved into a boxy gray truck, and sped away from the landing pad they’d been on for another twenty-minute journey. When the truck came to a stop, Alice and the others were hurried out of the room into a brightly-lit gray facility that made Alice imagine a warehouse if it weren’t for the white lines painted at odd intervals on the floor. The four were led to an elevator, and with two guards behind them they waited as they were shot up fast enough for them to feel the momentum.

“Whatever happens, I’m responsible for them,” Alice thought as the elevator started to slow. “I just need to negotiate for their release, they’ll fine a way to get back and get help if it comes down to that.”

The doors slid open, and waiting for them was a woman as thin as a telegraph wire with straight white hair. She wore a skin-tight black evening dress, her eyes hooded in the dim light of the massive room before them. “Good evening. Welcome to our facility. My name is -- ”

“Mirage,” Garcia said, smiling as he strode forward despite the guards. “I must admit, your looks were not done justice by the descriptions we were told of you.” Even manacled, he managed to raise her hand and kiss it.

“Oh no,” Alice thought. “Two Oreldos.”

Mirage smiled at the flattery. “You know who I am?”

“And who your employer is,” Garcia said, standing straight again. “My teniente, Alice L. Malvin.”

Alice strode forward, nodding. “Ma’am.”

“A lieutenant,” Mirage said, almost whispering like she was trying to seduce all of them. “I didn’t know the military was in the area.”

“Part of the reason we wish to speak with anyone in a leadership position ma’am,” Alice said, every inch the consummate professional. “We need to speak with them about our current situation.”

“They’ll be out shortly,” Mirage said, stepping aside as the lights came up behind her to reveal a massive room that only contained a blazing fireplace and an almost comically simple metal table and chairs, styled to look like they were built for luxury. The table was laden with food, a massive turkey placed in the center surrounded by sides and dressings and whatever else one could imagine at a rich man’s table. Rainbow was already salivating at the sight. “Please, feel free to have whatever you wish.” The manacles beeped, and the guards removed them from the four. Instantly Belenko grabbed Rainbow by the collar, glaring the girl to slow down and stay slow.

Alice nodded, motioning for the team to move on to the food. “Thank you. Please inform your employer that we’re thankful they’re willing to speak with us.”

As soon as Mirage and the two guards left the room, Rainbow tried to grab at the food, but groaned when Garcia grabbed her hand. “Oh what now!”

“We don’t know what’s in any of this,” Garcia said, pulling Rainbow’s hand back. “Not poison, we’re no good dead.”

“Probably some kind of serum that affects consciousness,” Belenko said, pacing around the table. “We can’t even trust any water or drink they might give us.”

“Meaning that we either go hungry or reveal something we shouldn’t,” Alice noted. “Very well. We’ll suffer a little longer if it means we don’t have to take any unnecessary risks.”

Rainbow groaned, planting her face firmly into the table. “Can’t we do anything while we’re here then?”

Alice took a slow breath. “We need to listen to them Rainbow Dash, they know this world and they know what to expect.” The scent of the table filled her nose. “Even if that food smells like an imperial banquet.”

“Unfortunately we can’t even tell you more about who the employer probably is,” Belenko said, walking up to the fireplace. “The entire room is probably bugged, cameras and microphones everywhere.”

“But we can confirm that you’re in danger,” Garcia said, pointing at Rainbow. “They found us, I’m willing to be they’re onto the fact that you have certain talents.”

Rainbow blinked. “Uh, why’re you talking like that?”

Belenko sighed and started speaking in French. “Absolutely useless. At least the other groups probably got one of the smarter ones. Here we’re trapped in Syndrome’s lair with an absolute idiot of a girl.”

“It isn’t her fault she’s trapped here,” Garcia said. “I agree, she’s a bigger liability right now than an asset but as soon as get gain more information we have a chance of getting out of here.”

Belenko turned and glared at Rainbow. “We need to tell the captain, either those girls shape up of they’re off any field operation.”

“Agreed,” Garcia said. “Now we just wait for him to arrive I suppose.” Smiling, Garcia had to act like the smell alone wasn’t driving him mad. If Rainbow saw him getting tempted, she’d get tempted, then he’d get tempted from her temptation, and it’d wind up a never-ending cycle of temptation until someone decided to just tear a drumstick off the bird at the center of the table and go nuts.

After five more agonizing minutes, a door across the room slid up, bathing the person standing in it in a bright white light. They hovered above the ground in a chair, styled the same way as the table, and a cackling laugh echoed around them. “Well I have to admit, I was curious after what I saw,” he said, floating to the table. The man’s hair was gray, falling around his shoulders in a mess. “Would you look at this? Four visitors, after so long! I tell ya, I haven’t had new company in a long time!” The man finally came into the light of the fireplace, and Rainbow had to hold back a gasp. His face was covered in wrinkles with heavy jowls, and he wore a black rubber suit emblazoned with a massive white “S” that did nothing to help hide his aging frame. Despite his obvious age, his blue eyes lit up with excitement. “I mean I’d thought that things had finally calmed down, but then you four show up! This is way too good, I mean finally something different!”

Garcia nodded. “Thank you for the gracious welcome. It was good that your omnidroids were able to continue broadcasting even after such heavy actions.” He raised his glass. “A fitting introduction for the famous Syndrome.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 10: Lucky Cat Cafe

Cass Hamada angrily pulled down the blinds around her shop, stomping around hard enough that Twilight was worried she was going to put her feet straight through the floor. “So let me make sure I’ve got this all straight,” Cass growled, locking the door. “You’re telling me that a man both of my boys respected is not only responsible for both of their deaths, but that he’s still alive and committed a crime so massive it made national news.” Sighing, Cass turned and shuffled to the table the three travelers were sitting at. “To top it all off you all claim you’re from another dimension.”

Vogt kept a hand on Twilight’s mouth to keep her from correcting Cass as Van der Burgh did the talking. “Yes ma’am. I’m sorry we had to tell you like this, but we need to get back to our own homes too.”

“I know, I know, just give me a sec to take this all in.” Falling into a chair, Cass sighed and grabbed a half-eaten donut. “Ugh, I hate it when I need to stress eat.”

“We understand that this is a lot to take in so suddenly,” Van der Burgh said, looking on Cass with sympathetic eyes. “The fact is that the device that he rebuilt over Krei Tech headquarters may be our best chance of getting ourselves home.”

Cass took another bite and shook her head. “Okay, just, I need a second to keep processing this. I mean Callaghan was one of the most well-respected men in the city, then you’re telling me he murdered my nephews, and now he’s…” Burying her face, Cass took a moment. “When I buried Hiro I swore that I would move on. I didn’t think there was anything I could do.” Pulling her hands away, they saw Cass starting to tear up. “How do you honestly think you can make him pay?”

“We can start by finding out what he’s done since the incident,” Van der Burgh said, Vogt taking his hand away from Twilight’s face. “He destroyed Krei Tech, then what?”

Cass shut her eyes and nodded. “He disappeared after that, but the newspapers keep talking about how he’s been sighted leading one of the Yakuza gangs.” Cass blinked. “Oh crap, what day is it?”

Van der Burgh said, “Ms. Hamada, we literally just arrived here.”

“Right, right, sorry.” Taking a breath, Cass pushed the plate away and thought for a second. “Tomorrow night’s beat poetry night, meaning the next morning they’ll be coming by.”

Van der Burgh’s eyes narrowed. “They?”

Cass nodded. “The Yakuza have been taking protection money, running rackets. I had to tell them I wouldn’t sell illegal cybernetics in my shop, I mean can you picture that? My shop putting illegal parts on people, it’s ridiculous! First they’d put a doctor who lost their license in my shop, and you all know how that would work out -- ” Vogt held up a hand, and Cass nodded. “Right, the point. What was my point?”

“That the Yakuza are coming.” Van der Burgh grinned. “I have an idea.”

Twilight cringed. “Is it a good idea?”

Van der Burgh started rubbing her hands together. “It’ll kill.”

Twilight gestured at Van der Burgh. “That does not inspire confidence!”

Cass chuckled a little, petting at a massive cat that jumped up onto her lap. “Well, for now I think we all need to get some sleep. You all have a place to stay right?” No one answered. “Ooooooh, okay then.”

“You can imagine that we don’t have much in terms of money,” Van der Burgh said, Vogt nodding. Looking up apologetically, she said, “Please Ms. Hamada, we need a place to stay.”

Cass looked at the three. They were young, almost as young as Tadashi and Hiro had been. The purple-skinned girl especially looked nervous, but something about the other girl and boy made her curious. They looked tired, but there was something to their eyes and their faces that made her think of Tadashi and Hiro. Something eternally curious, with the idea that there was something new just around the corner. “Well I only have the one room, but I’ve got some spare comforters.”

“It’s more than enough,” Van der Burgh said, unable to hide her face lighting up. “Thank you so much for your kindness.”

Cass smiled back. “Well, you know, gotta help the people who need it. Plus it’ll give me a chance to see if my new recipe for wings works.”

Van der Burgh blinked. “Wait what?”

Ten minutes later, Van der Burgh, and Vogt were both staring at the room where two young boys had first started on their dreams. Posters and scrap drawings were scattered about, a dusty computer sitting to the side. On one of the walls, a picture of an older boy in a ballcap with his arm wrapped around a younger, scrawnier boy with unruly hair.

“That was the day before the expo,” Cass said, laying out two comforters on the floor. “After they got arrested though. I mean they weren’t arrested for anything bad but -- ”

“Bot fighting,” Van der Burgh said, smiling as she ran a hand along the desk. “Hiro had been hustling the Yakuza right?”

Cass blinked. “Okay I know you said you know a lot but can you not? It’s just, ugh, I mean it’s kinda freaky!”

“Sorry,” Van der Burgh said as Vogt went to help lay out the comforters. “We’re still getting used to leaving our own dimension. We’ve only been gone three times on missions like this.”

“And you really think you can do something?” Cass rose and crossed her arms, staring nervously out the nearest window. “I just can’t take anything else happening to me like what happened to my nephews.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Van der Burgh said, staring down at the empty red charging station where one of the greatest inventions ever imagined once sat. “We’ll make sure it doesn’t.”

Twilight watched the scene, Cass smiling softly at Van der Burgh. “Thank you. I’ve, I’ve gotta go get ready for bed.” Sniffing, Cass quickly hurried down the stairs. “Augh, I hate it when I get an eyelash stuck!”

Chuckling, Van der Burgh settled onto her comforter. “Alright, we need to figure out what we’re up against here. Once the Yakuza arrive in two days we can work out what happens from there.”

Twilight settled down in the bed and sighed. “You really think we can do this without everyone else?”

“I can’t imagine we couldn’t,” Van der Burgh said as she shut her eyes. “Between your mental abilities and our combat experience, we can take any street tough.” Vogt rolled his eyes and rolled over.

The next night, Twilight’s jaw was hanging open as Vogt wrapped up his poem. Cass was excitedly snapping with both hands along with the entire café, and Van der Burgh was nodding as she sipped her tea. “Did…Did you know…”

Van der Burgh grinned. “The man’s a wordsmith. We actually won a night of free water from a Bedouin oasis thanks to his poetry skills.”

Cass kept snapping with one hand as she carried a sandwich over to the table. “That was one of the best poems we’re ever had here. Can he do this again next week?”

“We’ll promise to consider it,” Van der Burgh said, reaching over and picking up a warm sandwich. Biting into it, she sighed. “Tofu. Of course they’d serve tofu sandwiches. You’d think a world like this would still have meat.”

The crowd was quiet, and Van der Burgh took the time to scope it out. It was much like the city, a mixture of people that seemed to be no different from anyone else she’d seen. Some did have small cybernetic implants, but nothing that would imply anything too insane, or at least insane to the point of requiring a criminal shop to give them prosthetics under the table.

Cass took a seat at the table as one of her employees ran the counter. “No, really, that was just so beautiful. I mean it was like he was speaking in a language that everyone could hear but no one else could understand.” Twilight nodded emphatically.

Van der Burgh was about to ask for a sandwich with actual meat when he turned at the sound of the bell over the door ring. Looking over, he saw three men standing by the door taking in the scene. They weren’t dressed like the crowd, they wore suit jackets and untucked shirts. All of them had thick slick hair, the one with the red shirt in front having styled it into an impressive pompadour. One of his partners had kept his sunglasses on, but Durand quickly realized that they weren’t sunglasses. They were attached to his skull via wiring. None of them smiled, they took in the scene in the café with dispassionate glares.

Cass wilted slightly. “No, oh no, what are they doing here tonight? Why aren’t they here tomorrow morning?” The one with the glasses nodded, and the trio made their way to the table. “And now they know where I am.”

Van der Burgh grinned. “Not a problem.” Cracking her knuckles under the table, she picked up her cup of sweet-smelling tea and took a long breath of it as Vogt sat back down at the table.

“Ms. Hamada,” the leader said, glaring down at the table. “We need to talk.”

“Oh, Taka, hi!” Cass waved nervously up at the three men. “Listen, it’s still the middle of Beat Poetry Night, are you sure you don’t want to come back tomorrow and -- ”

“You’ve already been barely scraping by with your insurance,” Taka said, holding out a gloved hand. “We decided it’d be best if you paid up early on your most profitable night.”

“Right, right, makes perfect sense, let me just -- ” Cass started to get up, but stopped when she realized Van der Burgh had a hand on her shoulder. Looking to the trooper then back to the Yakuza she laughed nervously. “Heheheheh, oh don’t mind this! I’m sure my friend has a very good reason to be doing this right now!”

Van der Burgh sighed, taking on last long breath to get the full scent of the tea. “There’s always a reason.” Smiling up at the Yakuza thugs, Van der Burgh held back before throwing the hot tea in Taka’s face. As he cried out Vogt jumped up and slammed his chair across the face of the thug with the sunglasses.

Twilight yelped. “What are you both doing?!”

Van der Burgh didn’t answer as the café crowd scurried away from the brawl, she was too busy clambering over the table and slamming her cup into the third Yakuza. The man yelped and as Vogt grappled with the man in sunglasses, she grabbed the third and slammed him into the counter knocking him out cold.

“AAAUUGH!” The scream erupted as Van der Burgh fell to the ground, grabbing at her ankle in pain. Looking down, she saw that Taka had his hand around her leg. With a yank he pulled it out from under her, sending Van der Burgh toppling to the ground. “Twilight, do something!” Trying to fight through the pain, she watched as a salt shaker bounced off Taka’s head. “Something useful!”

Twilight yelped again, and her mind started to race. “Think Twilight, THINK! Our magic, we can use our magic! No, wait, what if this world doesn’t have magic? But we’ve already caused a scene! How am I supposed to know what to do?!” Cass answered the question by walloping Taka over the head with her own cup, spilling more hot tea onto the criminal. Van der Burgh felt the man’s grip slack, and she pushed herself up with enough momentum to force Taka off balance and put her heel on his windpipe.

“You are never getting another cent out of me!”

Vogt kept grappling with his foe, watching as the fractured frames fell apart to reveal milky-white eyes and wiring behind the glass. Vogt nodded, shoving his foe away and jumping back. He held up a hand for everyone to freeze, and thanks to the look on his face even the customers were still. The Yakuza stumbled, hands out trying to feel in front of him. The only noises were Taka’s desperate gasps on the floor, Van der Burgh putting more pressure on him whenever he tried to move. “I’ll get you!” the man shouted as he stumbled about. “I swear I’ll find your and take your eyes for mine!”

With practiced stealth Vogt moved beside the man and waited. Dodging the man’s outstretched arms he moved behind and put the man in a choke. Van der Burgh nodded and stood up, dusting herself off as she put her accent on. “Ladies, gentlemen, sorry about the disturbance. We are private security hired by the Lucky Cat to handle a particular problem they’ve been having lately. If you could please pay your bills we’ll see that things are ready for the next beat poetry night.” The crowd murmured nervously, staring suspiciously at Van der Burgh. “He’ll be performing again.”

With the bills paid and the café cleared, Van der Burgh looked to Cass. “No going back now. Once you’re in on this, you’re in for the road.”

Cass shuddered as she kept putting the café back together and shutting the blinds. The sight of blood staining her floor and counter, the shattered remains of cups and smell of wasted tea filling her nose. Worst of all the three men tied up on the floor. Taka, with his cybernetic hands revealed, and the other with his milky white eyes staring at nothing. “I don’t think they had anything to do with Tadashi and Hiro dying, did they?”

“They didn’t,” Van der Burgh said. “They just extorted your business and put you under their thumbs. You need to make sure that whatever choice you make, you can live with it.”

Cass looked around her shop, stopping at the picture of her nephews together with her. Somewhere, Tadashi’s words echoed in her head. “Someone has to help.” Taking a long breath, Cass nodded. “Alright, alright I want to do this.” Van der Burgh nodded, and as Cass walked over he splashed cold water onto Taka. “Wake up, bastaard. We need answers.”

Taka blinked, trying to get the water out of his eyes when Cass slapped him. No one moved for a few seconds, until Van der Burgh finally said, “You wait until he’s not answering questions to slap them.”

Cass winced. “Oh, sorry, sorry! I’ll, uh, I’ll just wait back here.”

Shaking her head, Van der Burgh squatted down and grabbed Taka’s face. “Look at me, slijm. We need questions answered.”

Taka sneered up at Van der Burgh. “You aren’t security, and you aren’t cops.”

Van der Burgh smiled, circling the trio. “You’re right, we aren’t either.” She stopped before the blind man. “We’re not bound to follow their rules.”

Taka tried to turn around. “Wait, what? What do you mean?”

“We’re what you call experts,” Van der Burgh said, patting the blind man’s head. He tried to jerk away, fear edging into his anger. “Extortion, intimidation, and some very nice cybernetic enhancements." She kicked at Taka's hand with her foot, a model that looked like an accurate sculpture of the human arm made out of lightweight metal or plastic. "Must help you get an edge over anyone who turns you down.” Smiling, Van der Burgh poked at Taka’s head. “Shame that enough tape is all we need to hold you.”

Taka laughed. “You think you did anything? They’re going to come looking for us when we don’t come back with the money.”

“We know,” Van der Burgh said, passing around to Taka again. “We know you think that the sight of their money missing is going to be enough because, well you know that deep down you aren’t that important.” Squatting down, Van der Burgh cracked her knuckles and looked like a crocodile about to get to work. “This is just for our benefit.” Winding up, seeing Taka’s terrified realization only made Van der Burgh put more force into the blow.

Twilight barely let out a yelp. Were she watching a movie with her friends, the camera would’ve panned to spare them the sight of Van der Burgh ramming her fist into the man’s face.

It was the second blow that brought the full realization to her: She was alone, and this was real.

Van der Burgh kept slamming her fist into Taka’s face, blood starting to fly out with each hit. Vogt kept watching dispassionately, checking the nearest clock on the wall to see how long she was taking. The two other thugs kept calling out, desperately begging for them to stop beating Taka or for Taka to hang on. Taka didn’t answer or resist. Bound and beaten, by the time Van der Burgh was done his face was a bloody wreck dripping onto the floor. One of his eyes was already swelling shut, and a shuddering whimper kept slipping out of his lips.

“You monsters,” the blind one shouted out. “You’re cowards, that’s what you are!”

Van der Burgh blinked, turn to Vogt, and did something that terrified Twilight.

She laughed.

“Of course we’re cowards,” Van der Burgh said, still laughing as she ruffled the thug’s head. The thug tried to jerk away, but suddenly Van der Burgh gripped the man’s thick, greasy hair. “Cowards live. Cowards make it to see tomorrow. Why the hell would we fight you fair?” Throwing the blind man into Taka’s head, she rubbed at her bloodied knuckles. “I’m gonna make myself another cup of tea. Do you mind if I do, Ms. Hamada?” Cass was barely able to shake her head, eyes locked on the scene like Twilight. Still smiling, Van der Burgh went behind the counter and took out some ginseng tea packets as Vogt started on the third thug. They were going to leave the blind one to just listen.

“Tell me something, do you know what I love about doing this to criminals?” Vogt was more brutal than Van der Burgh. She just beat Taka unconscious. Vogt had decided that he’d break bones. Taking the man’s left hand, Vogt started bending his pinkie backward hard. The man tried to play tough, but didn’t hold back his screams when the finger snapped.

“I love doing this to criminals because no one’s gonna care about you.” Van der Burgh turned on the coffee maker and let the hot water flow. “Your family won’t help you because you’re what, low-level? Not even valuable enough to make more than a few hundred every month.” Another snap, another scream. “The police, they might take it seriously enough if we really do a number on you, but do you know any cops to bribe?” Another scream. “You might have actual family, but do you really think they’re going to care? Do they even know what you’ve all done with your lives?”

Twilight fell into a seat, like she was watching outside herself as Vogt dispassionately kept breaking fingers. The blind Yakuza kept trying to escape, his sightless eyes wide in terror. Van der Burgh just took her time, dipping the teabag in and out of the cup. “Hmmm. Smells good, we don’t have tea this fresh back home.” She carried three cups out, but one was lacking in tea. Setting two of them on the table, Van der Burgh held the hot water cup in one hand as Vogt finished breaking his tenth finger. “So, let me make this very clear. There’s a new group in San Fransokyo. Your options are give up a life of crime and turn over a new leaf, or…” Smiling, Van der Burgh poured the scalding water over the man’s head. His screams were only amplified as Vogt broke his other two wrists before he cut off the blood to the man’s brain by squeezing his jugular. Shaking her head, Van der Burgh grabbed a knife from behind the counter and sliced through the tape holding the three. “Carry your friends with you, they’ve already made enough of a mess being here.”

The blind man shuddered. “I…I don’t have my glasses, how am I supposed to -- ” Vogt grabbed the man and threw him out into the street, followed quickly by his two unconscious friends. Locking the door behind him, Vogt went to grab a mop and started cleaning up the floor.

Cass shuddered. “That…That was what…”

“In Tunisia, we had a similar problem facing refugees coming in from Europe.” Van der Burgh said, sipping at her tea. “Command gave us the order; stop them.”

Twilight suddenly realized her pulse was racing. Trying to calm herself down, Twilight stood. “I’m…I’m gonna get some sleep.” She heard Cass mumble something about helping her get to bed and the two hurried upstairs.

Waiting until the footsteps faded, Van der Burgh turned to see Vogt leaning on the mop staring at her. “Alright, so I went a little hard. We needed to make a point. Plus, she froze again.” Vogt raised an eyebrow. “Don’t give me that, you think we should’ve just let them run free? This way they know there’s a new threat and that they aren’t going to run around doing what they want anymore. Once we find the other characters, we can secure this place and keep moving forward with our plans.” Vogt shook his head and went back to mopping.

Upstairs, Twilight was shuddering in the bed as she kept trying to shut her eyes. She couldn’t get the image of what happened out of her mind. Blood, violence, as much as she could understand those things? Seeing them again still wormed into her mind, Van der Burgh beating the Yakuza and turning one of their faces into a red mess. Shuddering, Twilight buried her face into her pillow and tried to force herself to sleep.

Footsteps. Pressure sitting down on the bed. Daring to look up, she saw Vogt sitting at the foot of the bed, holding a cup of tea out to Twilight. Pulling herself up, Twilight quietly reached for the cup. “Thanks.” Sipping, at the tea, she stared down at the floor. “It’s scary. Did you really do things like that before?” Vogt nodded. “And it was really to help other people?” Another nod. “But why? Wasn’t there another way?” Vogt shook his head. Twilight shut her eyes and tried to keep her voice from breaking. “Things are really that bad in your home?” Vogt nodded. “My home isn’t like that.” Vogt gave a wry grin to Twilight, who shoved him. “Okay, fine, I get your point.

Vogt put a hand on Twilight’s back, and Twilight took another sip. “I know, I froze again. It’s just…” She shook her head and started pacing the floor. “What happened down there, and what happened in Magnolia? I’ve never been shot at before that day.” Vogt raised an eyebrow. “Okay, okay, I get it. What I mean is that we just don’t know how to react. I mean we were just supposed to be researchers, and now we’re going on these crazy adventures.”

Vogt shook his head. “I guess it makes sense though. I just don’t know how to react to violence.” Twilight kept pacing, but her eyes widened. “Wait, you do! How, I mean how do you know what to do?” Vogt slammed a fist into his palm. “You, you just do something?” Vogt nodded. “No, but what if something happens? Changes? I mean I know you don’t act without thinking about it, you all had a plan in Magnolia.” Vogt nodded, but went to make up his bed. Twilight nodded. “I think I get it now. It’s better to take a risk and try to do something right instead of waiting for something to go wrong, is that it?” Vogt looked over his shoulder with a grin.

Twilight smiled, looking down at her empty cup of tea. “I’d better put this back downstairs -- ” Vogt grabbed the cup and nodded toward the bed. “Oh. Thanks LCpl. Vogt.” Vogt shook his head. “Vogt then?” Vogt smiled and nodded. “Okay, thanks Vogt.”

The trooper smiled and said, "Goodnight, Twilight."

Listening as Vogt tramped down the stairs, Twilight wiped away the tears in her eyes. “Maybe things will be okay after all.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 11: Los Angeles, Echo Creek

Scholz and Lisowski tried to keep as low a profile as possible, Lisowski practically ripping through the paper’s financial section. “I’m hallucinating, I have to be. Xanatos, Doofenshmirtz, and what are these two? ENCOM and Kane Co? I mean what are those two from?”

Scholz looked nervously at the pair of cop cars screaming down the street driven by toon weasels. “I think the better question is how do we find corporal and Rarity.”

“Well they were in the middle of a car chase,” Lisowski said. “If they were smart they’d have tried to lose them in the streets or -- ” Lisowski looked up when she realized the sirens weren’t fading into the distance. She saw the two cars parked in the middle of the street in a roadblock, the weasels scurrying out holding weapons aimed in the opposite direction. “They’re coming back for us.”

Scholz checked his P33. He wasn’t sure what his piece was going to do to a toon, he remembered well enough that the only thing that could kill a toon was the Dip. Still, a weapon was a weapon. As long as the toons were focused on Kavanaugh and Rarity they’d have a chance to ambush the weasels.

A paddy wagon came screaming down the street, careening wildly as Kavanaugh did his best to fire at their pursuers. In the front was a wolf, like something out of Tex Avery and arguing with someone in the back seat. Lisowski and Scholz shared a quick look before both drew their revolvers.

The paddy wagon came screaming toward the weasels, the creatures laughing deviously as two of them put on rubber suits and started carrying out a massive barrel. Before he realized he was moving Scholz was already shooting, punching three holes in the barrel and two into one of the rubber suits. The weasels all shouted, scrambling from the street into their cars as Lisowski and Scholz kept shooting. Looking around, Scholz tapped Lisowski and bolted for the newsstand. The man inside yelped and jumped out, running in the other direction as the two took cover.

Lisowski shoved a fresh cyclinder home and snapped it into place. “Alright, what now Lone Ranger?”

Scholz peeked out and saw that the weasels were trying to scramble away from the dip, the one in the pierced rubber suit trying to keep his hands over the holes. He was so busy trying to keep himself safe that when the wagon broke through the other two cars, he went flying and screaming through the newsstand. Little red and blue birds circled his head, one of them scribbling on a notepad and slapping a citation on the weasel before they all flew away. Scholz took the moment to shove his pistol in the weasel’s mouth and fire, but instead of blowing any ink out the weasel’s head flew back and slammed against the newsstand. Shaking his head, Scholz turned and started running. “Toons.”

“C’mon, get in!” Kavanaugh shouted, firing back at the weasels. Scholz and Lisowski jumped into the back, throwing Rarity against the other door.

“Excuse me,” Rarity shouted. “It’s bad enough being tossed about by our driver, I don’t need you two doing it!”

The wolf turned back and glared. “It’s better than hearing you screaming your head off the entire drive!”

Kavanaugh ducked back in to reload. “Bloody drive!”

Tires squealed, the wolf screaming away from the weasels and bullets flew overhead. “No appreciation, I tell ya it’s ridiculous!”

Kavanaugh blinked. “Not ten minutes ago you were on your knees saying you owed me your life!”

The wolf cut a hard right. “Ever heard of hyperbole?”

Rarity dared to look back and shuddered. “Those weasel things are chasing us again!”

Kavanaugh nodded. “We need to get out of the city. What’s the fastest way?”

“Trainyard,” the wolf said, laughing as he veered hard left and shoved Lisowski and Scholz into Rarity. “You guys’ll be up in San Fransokyo before ya know it!”

Kavanaugh blinked. “San Fran-bloody-what?!”

“Home of innovation, tech capital of the world, blah blah…blah…” The wolf was staring at the rearview mirror, and turning Kavanaugh realized that Lisowski’s hair had come loose and was flowing everywhere around her as the paddy wagon roared through the streets.

“ARRRRRRRWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Kavanaugh lunged for the wheel, barely managing to keep the paddy wagon upright as the wolf’s eyes jumped out of his head at Lisowski. His heart was literally jumping out of his chest, and he panted like he’d just run a marathon. Lisowski gaped at the creature, Rarity nodding. “Yep. My thoughts exactly.”

“Hey baby,” the wolf crooned, managing to get his entire torso into the backseat and still keep his feet on the pedals. “Seeing as you just made me howl, how about I return the favor?” Lisowski slugged the wolf across the jaw for that one, but the wolf growled. “Oh yeah, I love a lady with a fire in her!”

“Would you get back up here,” Kavanaugh said, pulling the wolf back into the front seat. “Isn’t that why you nearly got bloody dipped in the first fucking place?”

The wolf blinked as he took the wheel again. “Huh. You’re right. Maybe I gotta see someone about this?” The wolf kept his hands on the wheel for all of two seconds before leaning his seat back, slamming into Scholz’s legs. “I guess it all started when I was animated.” Kavanaugh grabbed for the wheel again, Scholz shouting and trying to push the seat back up. “I mean I was never supposed to get my own shorts, I was just an extra toon for the work.”

Rarity grabbed at her hair. “What kind of world is this?!”

The wolf nodded. “I know, that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.

Kavanaugh was trying to keep the wheel steady. “Wolf!”

The wolf snapped back up and took the wheel back. “Don’t worry, I’ve got the perfect way to get you guys outta the city!” Cutting across an intersection, Kavanaugh started praying as the wolf rolled them into a garage. Leaping out of the paddy wagon, the wolf cackled as he leapt from the van and pulled the door down. Peeking out the side door as only a toon would, the wolf listened as the sirens came close and then sped past. “Ha! Stupid weasels, that’ll teach ya to try and get one over on me!”

Rarity fell out of the paddy wagon, Lisowski and Scholz landing atop her. “Ugh,” she groaned, accepting that the day was not turning out like she’d hoped. “This is how we’re going to get out of the city?”

“Hardly,” the wolf said, taking out a pack of cigarettes. “It’ll take a few hours, but I’ll get you mugs on a train to San Fransokyo and outta this dump.” Four hours later and the team was following the wolf closely, skirting the alleys and side streets and keeping their ears open for the LAPD. Rarity didn’t seem very concerned though, in fact she looked rather amused by the setup. Shaking his head, Kavanaugh kept that question for later.

“I’ve got a buddy who works the cargo hauls from here to San Fransokyo,” the wolf said, leading them to a rusted chain-link fence. “He owes me, he’ll take you guys all the way up there safe and sound.”

“Appreciated,” Kavanaugh said, helping the wolf pull the fence away. The group slipped through, keeping their ears open for any guards that might stop them and only hearing the clatter of the cars on the rails. “So where is he?”

“He’s over there,” the wolf said, pointing over to a freight train waiting at the far end of the yard. “C’mon. Hey, Danny!”

In front of Kavanaugh’s eyes, the front of the train turned to face them all. “Yeah?” On seeing the wolf, the train’s expression went straight to annoyance. “Oh Franky, not again.”

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry I’m asking for a favor,” the wolf said, annoyed. “Look these guys saved my bacon, I need to pay’em back.”

“Oh, yeah, I heard all those sirens,” Danny said, glaring at the wolf. “What’d you do you jerk?”

“He whistled at a woman,” Rarity said, scowling. “Apparently that’s reason enough to be arrested. I mean it’s ill-mannered but it’s no reason to try and kill someone.”

Danny’s eyes narrowed. “Who’re these mugs anyway?”

“Just people who think that Judge Doom should be stopped,” Kavanaugh said. “Best to let humans risk their lives, can’t have toons getting dipped can we?” Danny’s eyes narrowed, and Kavanaugh pressed. “Look, Mr. Diesel -- ”

The engine grunted, “Rosenblatt.”

Kavanaugh blinked. “Okay, Mr. Rosenblatt. We just need to leave the city. It’s clear we can’t help now, we came in without realizing what was happening. Once we regroup with our teams, we can proceed to help and push forward.”

Danny looked to Franky, who nodded. “Alright, alright. Yo, Mike!” Kavanaugh turned at the sound of footsteps to see a pair of humans wearing engineers clothes coming up. “Hey, we’re taking some passengers with us.” The two humans nodded and went back to checking the cars before taking off. “So, catcalling again?”

Lisowski glared at Franky. “Again?” Franky whistled innocently.

“Alright, c’mon, let’s get aboard one of the cars.” Kavanaugh pointed to an open stock car. As his team clambered aboard, Kavanaugh looked back to Franky. “Are you not coming with us?”

“Can’t, I’ve got…work to do.” The wolf grinned, and shook Kavanaugh’s hand so fast Kavanaugh felt his whole body shake. “Thanks again for the help, I really appreciate it.”

Kavanaugh kept bouncing slightly. “Not a problem, best of luck to you.” Shaking off the shakes, Kavanaugh nodded to Danny and boarded the car himself. “Alright, you lot take a rest, I’ll be on watch.” His two troopers settled in as best they could for a quick rest, but Rarity’s eyes remained locked open. “Quite a day, I know.”

“Putting it mildly,” Rarity groaned. She tried tapping at her lacrima again, and slumped against the back of the stockcar when she didn’t go back to the SGC. “Are we really sure we’re going to be alright?”

“For sure, for sure.” Giving Rarity a smile for her sake, Kavanaugh went to the edge of the doors and kept watch out of the car. “You just try to get some rest, we’ll be there soon enough.”

A train horn sounded, and the car shuddered as it started to roll along the tracks. Kavanaugh watched as the scenery started to roll along in the distance, the LA skyline fading into the distance as the car clattered over the tracks. Even at night the air was warm, there was no cold chill to bite at the bones or numb the mind. As the wheels clattered across the tracks, Kavanaugh looked over to see Rarity curled up trying to sleep as Scholz and Lisowski were already far away. “From the past to the future.” Kavanaugh leaned against the door of the car, looking wistfully up at the moon. “Jesus, what a mission.”

Weber glared at the front of the high school, watching her watch as it ticked down to 1400. Oreldo watched her as she was busy glaring, and leaned over to Ricci. “So, we’re looking for this Marco guy why?”

“Marco is probably the only person who can help us get in contact with Hekapoo.” Ricci turned and saw the confused look on Oreldo’s face. “The woman with the fire hovering over her head that made Capt. Parker look like an idiot.”

“Right, got it.” Oreldo kept looking out over the front of the school. “I feel like a creep though, I mean all we’re doing is watching a high school.”

Ricci chuckled. “Sir, this high school has a troll for a teacher and has suffered an attack by mewberty.”

Oreldo shook his head, going back to keeping his eyes on the school. Finding it hadn’t been hard, all they’d needed to do was ask directions with the two troopers adopting two American accents to do it. That hadn’t been the weird part. It was more that Weber was shaking excitedly. Even sitting on a nearby bus stop bench, the sergeant was shaking like she’d taken some kind of pill that was sending her into a drug reaction. “So what does this Marco do anyway?”

Ricci grinned. “He’s an expert martial artist, a tactical master. He’s survived in hundreds of dimensions, fought off monsters and madmen, and serves at the foot of a princess.” Weber started nodding emphatically. “Once he gets us to Hekapoo, we’ll be able to get things back in order.”

The bell rang, and Weber nearly jumped off the bench as students started to stream out of the school. They looked as bizarre as everyone else to Oreldo, disproportioned with misshapen heads and odd limbs.

“There they all are,” Weber whispered in German. “There’s Alfonzo and Ferguson! Oh, and there goes the cheer squad!” Weber started slapping her hands on her knees. “Jackie Lynn Thomas, there’s Jackie Lynn Thomas and Janna!”

“Yes, I see her too,” Ricci said, putting a hand on Weber’s shoulder to try and keep her on the bench. “Remember why we’re here, sergeant.”

Oreldo leaned in. “So what do we do?”

“Leave this to me.” Clearing his throat, Ricci stood and walked over. “Excuse me, ladies?” The two turned and stared at Ricci as he put on his American accent. “I’m sorry to trouble you, but we were hoping to talk to you both?”

“Us?” The girl with the blonde hair and a blue streak looked to the girl with black hair and a knit cap. The blonde wore a bronze seashell necklace and carried a skateboard, while the girl in the cap carried a backpack and had in her had a book that looked like some kind of ancient manuscript. “What do you need to talk to us about?”

“Well you see we’re looking for someone,” Ricci said, gesturing to Oreldo and Weber. “We’re looking...for…” He saw the two girls staring at the bench, and turning he sighed. Weber was bouncing up and down now, a giddy excitement clear and present on her face. “Well if this goes badly I’d better start looking for some work.”

Oreldo tried to grab Weber to hold her down, but it was too late. She was already sprinting over with a massive smile. “OhmygoshJackieLynnThomasandJannaOrdoniaIcan’tbelieveIreallygettomeetyoubothinpersonthisisthegreatestthingthat’severhappenedImeanevensincewemetHekapooIknewyouwerebothouttheresomewherebuttoactuallymeetyouboth -- ” Ricci clapped a hand over Weber’s mouth.

Jackie, Oreldo pegged her as the blonde girl with blue streak, smiled awkwardly at Weber but was clearly trying to back away. Janna, however, looked completely relaxed with the entire situation. “I like her, she’s perfect for our group of friends.” Weber somehow managed to squeal with delight despite Ricci clamping his hand over her mouth.

“Yes, anyway,” Ricci said, pulling his hand away. “We’re looking for one of your classmates. Where’s Marco Diaz?”

The two girls became visibly uncomfortable at the name. “Oh, Marco,” Jackie said, looking away. “He hasn’t been to school in a while.”

Weber stopped her excited shaking. “What?”

Janna tried to look up toward the sky. “Yeah, he’s just had…He’s had his own things going on.”

Weber blinked, face blank. Ricci was suddenly very worried as he asked, “But he’s still here then.”

Jackie and Janna looked to each other, Jackie asking, “Uh, so who are you guys again?”

Weber dropped her accent as quickly as she’d put it on. “We’re part of a dimensional task force, we’re looking for Star Butterfly and Marco Diaz. We believe they may be able to help us return to our home.”

Both girls blinked, and for a second Oreldo was worried they’d have to worry about being reported. Then the two let out an “Ohhhhh.”

“You could’ve just told us that from the start,” Jackie said, looking much more at ease now. “Thing is, Marco’s still got his own stuff he’s dealing with. You’d better know that before we take you over there.”

Weber nodded. “Danke.” Then she went right back to being a hyper lunatic and started shaking again. “Can I please ride your skateboard?”

Several bruises and scrapes later, Weber looked up with awe at the Diaz house. Oreldo had never seen a house like it before; the strange looking plants sticking out the top of it were weird enough, but the turret sticking out of the side almost looked like it had been placed there so suddenly it had destroyed part of the wall. Ricci didn’t seem too shaken up by the sight though, and when he saw Oreldo’s confused face he laughed. “It’s alright sir, it’s structurally sound.”

“Here we are, the Diaz house.” Jackie was smiling sadly at the front door, Janna looking at anything but the house. “You…You’re sure you need to talk to Marco?” Weber sprinted to the front door and started poking at the doorbell, hopping on her feet as she did. “Well. That's...an answer.”

Ricci smiled, shaking his head as he turned to Jackie and Janna. “I’m sorry to impose, but can you both please stay with us for a short time? Clearly something’s happened, and with your help we might be able to try and ease this introduction should something go wrong.”

Janna thought for a second. “Hmmm. Stick around Marco’s house as a trio of dimensional travelers burst into his life and upend everything he’s ever knownokay I’m in.” Grinning, she looked to Jackie. “Well?”

Jackie blinked, looking up at Ricci. “You’re sure we can help?”

“Trust me, you can’t be any worse than some of the wizards we’ve had to work with.” Janna held out her fist, and Ricci returned the bump as the door opened.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming!” The door swung open to reveal a young teen, Oreldo noticing he was a thin boy with tan skin and short brown hair and the same massive eyes as the two girls, wearing jeans and a gray t-shirt. “Can I help -- ”

Weber screamed, wrapping Marco in a massive bear hug and shaking him about vigorously. “MARCO DIAZ MY GOD IT’S REALLY YOU!” Weber started hopping up and down, the boy grunting as he was spun around by Weber. “I can’t believe it, I get to meet you myself! After what Hekapoo said -- ”

“Sergeant,” Ricci called out. “I don’t think he can speak German.” Weber nodded, dropping Marco but still shaking excitedly.

The boy dusted himself off. “Thank you! Now who are you people?” Looking past Weber, he saw Janna and Jackie. “Hey, what’re you guys doing here?”

“They asked for our help,” Janna said, jerking a thumb at Ricci and Oreldo. “Figured we’d give it to’em.”

Marco glared at the girl. “Why did you think that was oh why am I even bothering.”

Weber cleared her throat. “I’m sorry Mr. Diaz, but we need your help.” Weber straightened her back, Oreldo thinking she was about to be a professional again. “You see, we’re dimensional travelers as well. We were separated from our teams and require your help.” Before Marco could respond, Weber leaned in close with a manic grin. “Also you can prove that my ship is the only real one!”

Marco blinked. “What’s a ship?”

“You! Star!” Weber grabbed Marco’s shoulders and shook him. “I mean I know you and Jackie had some chemistry but we all know the truth! And let’s face it, Janco is just a wish! Nevermind that Tomco could never happen!” Weber couldn’t see the faces on Jackie and Janna when she said those words, and from their reactions Oreldo could tell that Weber had struck home hard.

“What!?” Marco glared at Weber. “You traveled through dimensions to ask me about girls!?”

A mature male voice came from inside the house. “Oh look honey, visitors!”

A kind female voice responded, “I’ll set extra places for dinner.” Weber screamed out in excitement.

A half-hour later, Weber was sitting happily at the table of the Diaz house with Oreldo, Ricci, Jackie, and Janna. Mr. Diaz sat at the head of the table, smiling politely at his guests. “So, what brings you all to Echo Creek?”

“Well sir, we’re part of a task force dedicated to exploring the multiverse.” Oreldo savored the smell of the massive plate of “nachos” in the center of the table, anxiously waiting for the last of the dinner to come out. “We were separated on our entry to this universe, and my teammates here believe that your son may have the knowledge to help us get home.”

Mr. Diaz’s expression shifted to uncomfortable. “Oh, well, that’s actually a bit of an issue.”

“Oh we know he isn’t capable of traveling dimensions on his own,” Ricci said, smiling as Mrs. Diaz set a large salad bowl on the table. “We do know that he has friends who can.”

“Well let’s eat first,” Mrs. Diaz said, setting down next to her husband. “Don’t want the food getting cold.”

Weber swiped a good quarter of the nachos for herself, in ecstasy as she started shoveling them into her gullet. “No wonder Marco knows how to cook! These are delicious!”

Laughing, Ricci turned to Oreldo. “Well sir, what do you think? I know it isn’t quite what we had in mind but it’s a sight better than being stranded, si?” Taking some of the salad onto his plate, Ricci’s eyes went wide at the sight of the greens and tomatoes. They were colorful, healthy, better looking than even the food at the SGC. Probably because of the animation style.

Janna looked over to Oreldo. “So. You’re not like these two, are you?”

Oreldo nodded, holding up a forkful of meat trying to make sense of it. “What gave it away?”

Jackie looked over. “So wait, how many worlds are there?”

“Well we’re about up to,” Oreldo put his plate down and started counting on his fingers. “Twelve, we’re up to twelve now.”

Marco rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s about where you guys should be right now. Just wait until you get to the Orange Plains of Jurot. Nothing but rinds for miles.” Weber giggled excitedly.

“Well once we discuss what’s happened in town with Star and Hekapoo, we’ll regroup and be out of your hair.” Weber downed another handful of nachos, but realized that she’d apparently said the wrong words when she saw everyone that called Echo Creek home suddenly looking uncomfortable. “What?”

Jackie spoke up. “No one’s seen Star in months.” Weber’s nachos fell to the floor, her face blank and frozen.

“I haven’t been to school since then,” Marco said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Look, I’m sorry that you guys think I can help you but I can’t. Star’s…”

Weber started to shake, Oreldo could tell she was starting to break hearing Marco go on. “Hey, it’s okay. We didn’t know.” Smiling like nothing was wrong at all, he looked to Marco’s parents. “If you guys don’t object, we don’t have the money to stay anywhere tonight. Looking up at the side of the house, well, we’d like to ask for a space to stay. At least for tonight?”

Mr. and Mrs. Diaz looked to each other for a moment. “Well, as long as it’s only for the night,” Mr. Diaz said, “But you’ll have to leave by morning. Otherwise we’ll call the police.”

Oreldo nodded, holding up his hands. “Alright, alright. Message received sir. So, what do we do in the meantime?”

Weber leaned over the table toward Marco, an excited smile over her face again. “A Mackie Hand marathon?”

Two hours of martial arts cheese later, Ricci was talking to Jackie and Janna at the door as Oreldo followed an ecstatic Weber and Marco upstairs. “That’s the first time I’ve seen Marco so happy in ages. Maybe you guys really do know what you’re doing?”

Ricci was about to answer when there was a crash from upstairs and Weber calling out, “I’m okay!” Ricci sighed and shook his head. “We’ll do our best.”

“Well if you need anything,” Janna said, tossing a small notebook to Ricci. “Those spells should help with whatever you need.”

Ricci flipped the notebook open and shook his head. “Thank you, but none of us are from a magical team. We couldn’t use this even if we tried.”

“Well it’s a new universe right?” Janna smiled. “How do you know?”

Ricci blinked, and started to smile himself. “Forse hai ragione, Janna.” Bowing his head, he waved goodbye to the pair and walked back into the living room to see Oreldo laughing and talking with the Diazs.

“Oh, Mr. Oreldo, these are such hilarious stories,” Mr. Diaz said, his wife snuggled firmly under his arm. “I’d never imagine that some dimensions are so similar to our own.”

“Well it takes all kinds Mr. Diaz,” Oreldo said, lounging back in his chair. “Personally I’d just like to find one where I can settle down and have a woman to love.” Oreldo thought for a second. “Or two, but that’s if I’m really lucky.”

“Sir, if you don’t need me I’ll be going to bed?”

Oreldo nodded to Ricci. “I’ll be up in a few, just make sure Sgt. Weber doesn’t shake herself silly okay?”

Ricci nodded, leaving Oreldo to “schmooze” the Diazs a little longer. It was an odd word in his head, but when he’d heard it said around the SGC in regards to the Pentagon he’d realized it had a rather good catch.

Climbing up the stairs he looked to the door leading to the turret. The former room of the princess of Mewni, now a reminder of what once was. The lights were already off, but he didn’t see Weber anywhere inside. “Sergeant? Sergeant where are -- ” A hand clamped over his mouth, and Ricci instinctively started to struggle. Staying put could get him a knife through his throat.

“It’s me,” Weber whispered. Ricci relaxed and turned to face Weber. “I don’t buy it, Marco can’t have given up like this.”

Ricci nodded. “Well you’re the biggest fan of the show, sergeant. What are you thinking?”

“Did you notice that Marco wasn’t wearing his red hoodie?” Ricci nodded. “What’s more, he still spoke about traveling dimensions like it was yesterday. If Toffee had truly won, why is Marco still alive? He’d surely have fought Toffee, not bowed out meekly. And abandoning school? Marco Diaz?”

“So you think he still has his scissors.” Ricci nodded. “Then how do we convince him to help us?”

“It’s possible his parents forbade him from going into the multiverse,” Weber said, starting to pace around the room. “What we need is to get him alone and ask him what he really knows.” Normally Ricci, hell, any of the platoon would’ve made a joke about that statement. Not this time, it was clear from her face that Weber was all business. “We’ll tell the sub-lieutenant as soon as he gets up here.”

Ricci nodded, cracking the door to peer out into the hall. “So, what now?” Silence. “Sergeant?” He turned to see Weber excitedly hopping up and down on Star’s bed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12: Danville, The Wasteland

Pinkie idly poked at Perry as Durand paced about. “This is terrible, the one person who can actually help us and they’re out of the game! Agh! This is as bad as that time we had to stop in Riyadh!”

“Corporal, you’re going to wear a hole into the floor.” Schneider said, pulling Pinkie away from poking poor Perry. “Phineas and Ferb are already working on the device. Once they finish we can finally figure out what’s happened.”

“We still can’t afford the risk,” Durand said. “Pinkie Pie?” Pinkie snapped to his side and saluted. “I need you to make sure that Phineas’ parents and sister can’t make it home before they finish helping us. And make sure you aren’t seen while you do it.”

“Oui oui Cpl. Durand!” All Durand saw was a blur of pink bolt out the front door, barely missing a young girl in a pink dress.

“Oh, Isabella!” Durand smiled and walked over. “Phineas and Ferb are in the back making a dimensional transporter.”

“Awesome, we were working on our theoretical physics merit badges,” Isabella said, hurrying into the house. “So, dimensional travelers?” Durand nodded. “Gotta get back home?” Another nod. “Well don’t worry, no one’s better than Phineas and Ferb at getting something done.”

“We know,” Durand said, escorting the girl to the back of the house. “I hope Pinkie is as good at stopping something from getting done.”

“A documentary, it sounds so exciting,” Lawrence Fletcher said, following Linda out of his antique shop. “Did they give you any questions yet?”

“Oh, no, they’re setting up back at the house.” Linda said, Candace following out relieved to have been saved from a day of boredom cataloguing her dad’s entire section of creepy antique dolls. One of which was staring at her from the window, ducked back into the shop when she turned back, and rose up again when Candace turned away.

“I am sorry I forgot my phone darling, I don’t know what I was thinking. Especially with my car in the shop right now.” Following Linda to the car, Lawrence’s smile vanished. “Uh oh, looks like we’ll need the spare in the boot.”

“What?” Walking over, Linda tisked at the sight of a flat right rear tire. “Oh darn, it must have just given up the ghost. Alright, I’ll get the spare.” Still in good humor, Linda opened up the trunk only to frown. “Oh shoot, looks like this is flat too.”

“Wait what?” Candace ran to the rear to see the empty space where the spare should be. “No way! We never need a spare unless…” Her eyes narrowed. “Phineas and Ferb! They’re up to something. I’ve gotta get home! Dad, do you have any bikes in the shop?”

Lawrence thought for a moment. “Well I do have an old penny-farthing but -- ” Candace rushed into the store and pedaled back out aboard the massive device. “Oh. Very well then.”

Candace peddled like mad, tearing down the streets with a mission. “Not this time boys,” she cried out. “I’m finally gonna bust you and good!” Laughing to herself, she could already see the boys unable to make their latest creation disappear when she hit the brakes and watched in disbelief as a marching band crossed the intersection in front of her, surrounded by a cheering crowd. “What?! What is this!”

“Didn’t you know?” One of the men in the crowd turned to her. “It’s National Spontaneous Parade Day! We had no idea either.” Shrugging, he turned back to watch the band keep playing.

“No, no no, not again!” Wheeling herself around Candace trying to get across the other street, only to nearly slam into a procession of floats moving past. “Oh c’mon!”

Watching from one of the buildings through a pair of binoculars, Pinkie smiled. “Nice try, but no one gets one over on Pinkie Pie.” Blinking, Pinkie turned to see a group of maintenance men staring at her. She smiled and waved, “It’s okay, just helping Phineas and Ferb.” The group nodded and quickly went back to their work.

Isabella grinned as she and the other Fireside Girls helped build the device. “Wow, so we’re all known in your dimension?”

“There isn’t a single little girl in the EU who doesn’t want to be part of the Fireside Girls,” Schneider said, smiling down at the girls as Ferb welded a strut into place. “The only reason it hasn’t happened yet is just because we don’t have the funds for it.”

“Don’t worry, the Fireside Girls handbook is already on top of it,” Isabella said, pulling the work out from behind her back and instantly flipping to the right page. “Fireside Girls bylaws, article five, section A, subsection two: ‘Any group of young women wishing to become part of the Fireside Girls should not feel constrained by lack of funding or proper uniforms. All necessary dues may be repaid once the troop has established itself free of any interest'.” Schneider’s eyes lit up at the idea.

Durand looked over the machine, which looked like a version of the quantum mirror that actually had a control system on the side and didn’t look like it’d been carved out of stone. “So, what precisely needs to be done?”

“Well given that you’re not suffering any ill-effects from traveling between dimensions, we realized that we’d need a kind of molecular buffering system to avoid issues of incompatibility.” Soldering some wires, Phineas held out his hand. Durand handed him another spool of medium gauge solder and the boy went back to work. “Essentially, your body will mold to the dimension we send you back to.”

“So that explains it,” Durand whispered. “It’s why we haven’t suffered any ill effects from traveling dimensions already, the same system we use must have such a method already installed in it. C’est magnifique! Maj. Carter will be ecstatic to learn about this.” He paused and looked at Phineas. “Not so much when she learns who it came from though.” Backing away he called up to the roof. “Russo, any sign?”

Russo shook his head, scanning the streets leading to the city. “Nothing corporal, but then I don’t know what to expect from Pinkie Pie compared to what normally happened on this show.”

Ferb held off on his welding and looked up. “Yeah, good question Ferb. What does usually happen when we do what we do for the day?”

“Well typically your sister attempts to show your mom what you’re doing,” Durand said, thinking for a moment. “It never works however because Pe -- ” He froze. “They don’t know about Perry!” “Pe-e-e-rhaps the universe just likes you both! Yes, something like that. Well, as you can imagine your mother would be quite surprised to see what you work on back here.”

Phineas nodded. “Well she did love her birthday present though, and her anniversary gift. Plus, our dad does keep an eye on us for when we do need an adult.”

Durand nodded. “True, true. Still, best to save these kinds of things for when your mother thinks you’re ‘old enough’.” He gave Phineas a wink. “She just needs time to get ready for her boys growing up.”

Phineas nodded. “Thanks Cpl. Durand. You’re really a smart guy.” Durand felt his inner child jumping up and down at being complimented by the boy who built a functional portal to Mars.

Stepping away to calm down, Durand took a moment to look over Danville. His wife would love it here, a calm and safe place to raise their eventual family. No more of him being deployed. No more of her having to slave away making ammunition. The chance to come home to each other and spend a quiet night simply holding each other, and not just a short stint of passion before he was off on another deployment. “Could I come here? Phineas and Ferb could help me of course, maybe it is possible?”

The welding stopped, and Ferb gave a thumbs up. Schneider smiled as she helped him down. “Almost done then corporal, how much longer?”

“Just another five minutes,” Phineas said. “We’ll have you all back together before you know it.”

Fluttershy was confused when Lee and Brodeur fell to the ground, and yelped when Brodeur pulled her down as Martis fell. “What are you doing?” Brodeur covered her mouth, but as Fluttershy struggled (weakly) to free herself she heard it; a low hum in the distance. Worse, her new friend’s antennae were twitching wildly as he hid in her hair.

Lee slowly poked his head up, and shook his head. “The Axiom returned.”

Brodeur shook his head. “Impossible!” Brodeur poked his head up, his hand falling away. Lee was right, there was something in the distance. At first it looked like a floating red mass, but he saw the chair beneath it, the small teal robot hovering alongside. There was a colored form in front of where the face would be.

“It came back,” Lee whispered. “So why is he still in the chair?”

Martis spoke up. “Hey, can you maybe tell us what’s going on?”

“The Axiom,” Lee whispered. “When Buy-N-Large realized that they couldn’t stay on Earth they built a fleet of starships to save their customers.”

“Fully stocked with every convenience and robot slaves,” Brodeur added.

“Slaves?” Fluttershy took a second to process the word. “But aren’t they robots? Why would they be slaves? Aren’t they machines?”

Lee shook his head, his eyes sad as he looked to Fluttershy. “Is that roach just an animal?”

Martis kept watching the man. “Okay, so he’s not a threat then? I mean he looks like he’s more of a danger to himself.”

“The issue is that he’s also probably being observed by the ship even at a distance,” Lee said. “He won’t be dangerous. Any response by AUTO would be.” Fluttershy noticed the roach squeak at the mention of the name. Suddenly the chair stopped and turned toward them. “Wait, he might have noticed us.”

There was nothing for a few seconds. Then the left side of the dune they were on exploded.

Poking his head back up as Fluttershy screamed, Lee saw the chair speeding toward them, with an extension protruding from the back over the man’s head. There was a blue flash from it, and then another explosion to their right. “Some kind of directed energy weapon. AUTO must have made some modifications to the chairs.”

Martis popped up and fired several rounds at the man. To his horror, the man started to laugh as the little floating robot kept flying about waving his arms. “What do we do?”

Lee sighed. “He’s opened fire on us. As much as he probably doesn’t understand what he’s done wrong, our survival is paramount.”

Fluttershy whimpered. “You’re going to hurt him?”

“Wrong,” Brodeur said as he drew his revolver. “We’re going to kill him.”

“Sir, please stay here with Fluttershy,” Lee said. “Brodeur, take the left. I’ll go right. Try to disable the chair, it may remain active even without his being able to operate it. Fluttershy…” Lee shook his head. “Just stay down.”

Breaking to the right, Lee listened as another blast landed on the dunes. “Just need to disable the chair. Give him some food so he doesn’t die immediately, then figure out why the Axiom came back. Overall not the worst mission we’ve been on, is it?”

Circling around, he heard a distant, panicked beeping from the robot. “Panic? Is he not supposed to be firing?” Raising his head, he saw the teal robot trying to float in front of the man.

“Get outta the way you,” the man grumbled, Lee seeing that the shape in front of his face was a holographic heads-up display. “This is just the newest level of the game!”

“Game?” Lee shook his head. “So that’s what’s happened.” Checking his pistol, he slowly rose from behind the cover of a half-buried house and ran from cover to cover. From sand dunes to decaying suburban home to half-buried billboard. With each bound he could hear the man laughing as he fired away.

Another blast hit a buried house, and the air rained down with chunks of rotted wood and drywall. “Wow, what detail! This really is one of the best levels yet!” The little robot kept trying to distract; it was a square thing with a stylized LCD screen, and a series of controls that resembled old animations of portable game consoles. “C’mon Beepsy, I can’t wait to see what we get for killing them!”

Lee shook his head and leveled his weapon. If the fat sack would lucky, the round would just strike the chair and hopefully take out a vital system. If not, then they’d have to shoot him or the chair. Odds were that the robot wasn’t dangerous in the least.

The chair beeped, and shifted to face Lee. The man laughed and sped over. “Ha! This is great, none of the enemies ever did this before!”

Lee ran the thought through his head. “He’s spotted me. I can’t shoot because it’s not promised to stop the chair and I can’t wait for him to kill me.” A thought popped in his head, and he holstered his pistol and jumped up with his hands high. “I surrender!”

The man and his robot both stopped. “Wait, you what?”

“I surrender!” Lee tried his best to look panicked. “You won, you beat me!”

The man blinked. “I…I did?”

“Yes, you did!” Lee dropped to his knees and placed his hands behind his head. “I’m your prisoner.”

“Prisoner?” The man laughed. “Alright, my prisoner!” He blinked and stared down at Lee. “What do I do with prisoners?”

Lee kept his head down. “Prisoners are brought back for debriefing, interrogation. You have to escort me to your base and turn me over for, for extra points.”

“Extra points?” The man’s voice was dripping with anticipation. Or saliva, one of the two. “How many?”

“Double than you would get for killing me.”

“Double!” The man wiggled in a motion Lee guessed was dancing. “I can’t believe I’m the first player to get double points! No one gets more than that even for rescuing survivors.”

“Rescuing survivors?” Lee tried to keep from having any reaction as the man hovered up to him. “Yes, this is a new feature, just updated.”

The man was so focused on getting his points, he didn’t even stop to ask how Lee knew what those terms even meant as a game character. Perfect timing for Brodeur to jump up from behind and incapacitate the man. Unfortunately, the problem was that the man’s chubby neck was too large for Brodeur to wrap his arms around. “Merde!”

Lee jumped forward, clambering over the good hundred pounds of fat covering the man’s stomach. As the man in the chair squealed and the robot kept beeping in panic, with one good shift they tipped the chair and passenger out onto the sands. Brodeur scrambled up and started firing into the chair, sparks flying as the machine collapsed onto the ground. The robot kept beeping, desperately trying to come to his master’s aid.

“Terribly sorry about this,” Lee said, grunting as he pulled himself up from under the man. “If we hadn’t stopped you we’d have been killed.”

The man flailed around in the sand for a few more moments. “What’s happening! Who are you people!”

“We’re explorers,” Lee said, scanning the horizon for any more trouble. “And you’re a passenger on the Axiom, correct?”

“Yeah, yeah I am!” Panting, the man tried to push himself off the ground and kept failing, his fat spread out under his weight. “And why did you attack me?”

Brodeur kept his pistol trained on the chair. “You attacked us you bastard,” Brodeur growled. “What did you think you were firing at?”

“The game, it was just the game!” With a massive groan the man managed to roll himself over onto his back. His arms and legs still flailed wildly, and the robot hovering around him looked like it had no idea what to do. “Where’d you people even come from anyway? And why are you so small? And what’re you wearing?”

“They’re called clothes,” Lee said, glaring down at the man. “You should try it yourself. And you,” he said, turning to the robot. “I suppose you’re his caretaker?” The robot nodded, looking nervously between Lee and his human. “Don’t worry, we’re not going to kill him.”

Fluttershy and Martis ran up, Fluttershy kneeling down at the man’s side. “Oh, you poor man! What happened to you, what did they do?”

“Nothing,” Brodeur said. “They fed him and kept him in a chair his whole life. That’s what they did. They gave him nothing to do.”

“Yes, poetic.” Lee turned to the robot. “Where is the Axiom, how many days away?” The robot turned and pointed, its eyes wide on the screen that was its face. They were black pixelated things, animated despite the purposefully low resolution. He beeped twice. “Thank you. Sir, I recommend we scout that area immediately.”

Fluttershy looked up as the man started to bend his knees to stand. “What about him?” The man nodded emphatically.

“We’ll leave him three MREs, that should hold him long enough,” Brodeur said. “His own body can digest what ample fat he has.”

Martis looked uncomfortable at the implications. “You’re saying we need to leave him here?”

Lee nodded. “Unfortunately sir, he’s in no fit physical shape to move at our pace. The man can’t even stand, let alone realize what position he’s in.” As Fluttershy helped the man up, he was already panting and sweating like he’d run five miles at a six-minute-mile pace. “You really think a man in that kind of physical condition can make it the distance we need to travel?”

Martis looked back at the man, his eyes staring about at the wasted landscape in confusion. His breathing was labored just from standing up, and it didn’t take a doctor to realize he was in an appallingly bad physical state. Every part of him was flab, barely held together by the red jumpsuit that was already stained with sweat. Turning away, he went to whisper with Lee. “Is this common, where you come from?”

Lee nodded. “The retreat from Europe had to be rapid, any civilians left were given what aid could be spared but the bulk of it on the continent at that point was for military forces.” His eyes started to go distant as he remembered, the wasteland fading to a cold Europe. “It wasn’t uncommon for us to pass bodies as we went, along with the occasional sorry fool left behind.”

Martis shook his head. “They were left to die?”

“It’s survival,” Lee said. “Either leave the people who can’t make the journey, or risk being captured by the PAC or dying from the elements.”

“But you have such advanced technology,” Martis said. “How can you not save them all?”

Lee sighed. “Technology, sir, is only as good as your base to manufacture it.”

Martis looked back at Fluttershy. “I want Brodeur to stay behind, keep an eye on her.” Lee nodded, and Martis turned to the robot. “So, you can show us how to get to this Axiom?” The robot beeped an affirmative. “Alright, take us.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 13: Middleton, San Fransokyo

Barkin finally spoke after twenty minutes of driving. “So. You uh, you people don’t seem to be from around here.”

Barker chuckled. “Oh, what gave it away?”

“Suffice to say we’re in need of help from Kim Possible,” Campbell said, keeping his revolver leveled on Barkin from the backseat. “You’re going to help us get that help.”

Barkin nodded. “You’d better know then, she might not be what you’re picturing.”

Applejack laughed. “So far that’s been my entire time here.”

“We’ll decide what it is and isn’t we’re picturing.” Baker watched as the streets rolled by, the picture of suburban comfort. “So what happened then Barkin, did that bitch bribe her way onto the team or just get the spot because Possible’s injured?”

Barkin’s hands tightened on the wheel, but Baker noticed it wasn’t at calling Bonnie a bitch. It was when he mentioned Possible. “Ms. Possible is just taking a small leave from her academic efforts,” he said, audibly keeping his voice even despite a heavy temper at the edge of his tone. “Whatever you think you’ll find with her, I promise you that it won’t be there.”

“We’ll be the judge of that,” Campbell said, thumbing the safety to remind Barkin of his situation. “How much farther?”

“Just another block,” Barkin said, glancing at his rearview. “So, you’re from Texas?”

“Nope, Canterlot.” Applejack glanced at Barkin. “Why?”

“Well the general country-western aesthetic you’ve got there.” Barkin went back to the road. “You don’t see that much in other parts of the country, just around these parts.”

Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “And you’re wondering why I don’t look ‘same as you.”

“Precisely,” Barkin said, glaring back at Applejack. “Last time I saw anyone looking even remotely like you they came from up north.”

Campbell nodded. “Where up north?”

Barkin’s eyebrow went up. “I think it was Washington? No, no, Oregon. They said Oregon.” Campbell and Baker both shared a look. “And here we are, the Possible house.”

Campbell and Baker both pressed to look out at the opposite side of the street, Baker pressing Barkin against the window as he did. There it was; the slanted roofs, the living room hanging over the side of the hill, a balcony and two chimneys. “Excellent work Mr. Barkin,” Campbell said, unbuckling. “Baker, keep the good principal here until we call for you.”

Barkin blinked. “Hey, wait, you don’t want to go in there -- ” Baker thumbing the hammer on his piece kept Barkin quiet, but didn’t stop his glaring.

“I assure you Mr. Barkin, we are experts in handling the unexpected.” Holstering his revolver, Campbell looked to Applejack. “Ready to make a good first impression without lying?”

“’Bout time.” Smiling, Applejack jumped out of the car and hurried with Campbell to the front door. “So, this Kim Possible, she’s some kind of fighter?”

“Agent, martial artist, infiltrator,” Campbell said, smiling as he walked up to the door and knocked. “The only person on this planet who can possible help us find the way to get back to the SGC and to home.” A latch clicked, and Campbell turned and smiled as the door opened. “Good afternoon. Sorry to bother you buuuuuuu…” The girl behind the door made disheveled look put together. Her hair was mussed and kept in a quick ponytail. Her clothes looked stained and unwashed, and the faint smell of BO wafted out from the house. Tired, sad eyes looked up at Applejack and Campbell with no trace of recognition that they were even there.

“Uh, Ms. Possible?” The girl nodded. “Oh. Um. I’m Capt. Campbell, and this is Applejack.” Applejack tried to smile and wave. “We’re here to speak with you and...” As Campbell spoke, the girl shut the door. “I’m sure it’ll only take a short time to understand why we need your help!” The door shut, and several locks latched behind it. Blinking, Campbell was left in front of the door unmoving for a few moments.

“I’m guessing that wasn’t the reaction you expected?” Applejack asked. Campbell shook his head, and Applejack sighed. Turning back, she went for Barkin and waited for him to roll down the window. “Okay, what exactly happened to her?”

“Oh it’s a sad story,” Barkin said, hanging his head. “Possible really was the brightest light in Middleton. Honor student, on-track to any college she wanted, popular and morally upright. Shame what happened to her. Well, more what happened to her best friend.”

“Her best friend?” Applejack looked back to the house. “What happened to her best friend?”

“No one knows, Possible hasn’t told anyone.” Barkin looked at the house with sorrowful eyes. “Just know that without Stoppable around Possible hasn’t been the same since.”

Baker’s jaw dropped. “Dead? Stoppable, Ron Stoppable is dead?” Barkin nodded. “No, no it can’t be, he was Possible’s best hope of stopping…” Baker froze, suddenly looking terrified. “What happened to Dr. Drakken?”

Barkin thought for a moment. “Well last I heard he’s basically under house arrest. His company though, that’s owned by Shego -- ”

“Shego?” Campbell backed away and started pacing. “No, Shego? Shego can’t win, she’s not supposed to…”

“Win?” Barkin shook his head. “She claimed that Drakken’s mind control technology made her that way, that she’s completely reformed.”

Campbell shuddered, starting to pace in the middle of the road. “No, no not her. Drakken we could handle, any of the others. And that wouldn’t be enough to stop Possible.”

“Before I would’ve agreed,” Barkin said. “Problem is, Shego broke her spirit.”

Campbell paused, taking those words in. “Her friend, he's really dead?” Barkin nodded. Campbell's face hardened, and went back to the door. Slamming on it, he bowled past a still-numb looking girl as Applejack processed what he was doing. “Where are your parents?”

“Captain, what’re you doing?” Applejack looked at the girl apologetically. “I’m real sorry, I don’t know what he’s doing.”

“Good thing I know what I’m doing.” Looking around, Campbell went and grabbed a phone. “Your mother and father, now.” The girl didn’t react, but looking like she was just idly accepting his command and dialing up a number. Taking the phone, Campbell waited as it dialed.

“Hello, Dr. Ann Possible speaking.”

“Mrs. Possible, my name is Capt. William Campbell. I’m here with Mr. Barkin, we need to speak to your daughter about a matter of grave importance.”

The voice on the other end went from polite to ice cold. “Captain, maybe you haven’t heard, but my daughter is no longer an agent.”

“I’ve gathered as much,” Campbell growled. “I think you should come home immediately, Mrs. Possible. We need to speak on this now.” Slamming the phone back into its cradle, he glared back at Applejack. “Get Baker and Barkin out of the car now.” Applejack gulped and hurried to get them, leaving Campbell  to turn and stare at the empty shell of a girl that was silently making her way back upstairs to her bedroom. “Van der Burgh won’t be happy with this one.”

Three. Days. Three days stuck on a boxcar eating MREs. Three days of trying to ignore the fact that they were tired, sore, and plain worn out from the journey and dodging the police and guards at every town they passed through. Rarity’s hair had even started to fall into disrepair, sticking up and fraying all over. From the look in her eyes, Kavanaugh was willing to guess that it wasn’t an everyday occurrence for her.

The train slowed again, but looking out Kavanaugh saw a clear difference. The trains surrounding them looked sleeker, a few didn’t even look like they had space for an engineer. “Here we are,” Kavanaugh said, waiting for the train to stop. “Everyone off, we need to move before we get caught.”

Rarity groaned, pulling a strand of purple hair before her eyes. “Oh, please tell me that I’ll have access to some conditioner while we’re here.”

Lisowski blinked. “What’s conditioner?” Rarity fainted.

“C’mon the lot of you, I’ll square things with the…train.” Shaking his head, Kavanaugh hurried to the front of the train to where Danny Rosenblatt was being hooked up to a fuel line. “Mr. Rosenblatt?”

The engine turned and grinned at Kavanaugh. “Well, what’d you think? Better than fighting through rush hour, ain’t it?”

“Certainly,” Kavanaugh said, dredging up the words “rush hour” from what he’d seen in the movies. “I’m sorry we can’t repay you for the journey.”

“Hey, you helped a toon. And made the LAPD look like idiots. Not that it’s hard to do.” He gave Kavanaugh a wink. “You need any more help, just look us up. Right fellas?” The engineers both gave Kanvanaugh a nod. “Now get outta here, the bulls’ll be here soon.”

Waving, Kavanaugh hurried for the exit, jumping over the fence where Lisowski and Scholz had managed to push the concertina wire aside enough to get through at the cost of Scholz’s jacket, forcing Lisowski to carry two holsters. “Alright, we just need to find the Lucky Cat.”

Rarity groaned. “Is that an actual cat that’s lucky, or something else?”

“A café,” Scholz said, grinning as he looked around the city. “Mein Gott es ist wunderschön.”

Kavanaugh was smiling too, looking out over the sight of San Fransokyo at twilight. The fading sun over the bay lit the sky in a brilliant purple, the city lighting up before him in the night. Cars scurried about the streets, the fans in the sky blinking red. “I wonder if the cities back home would have looked like this if the ice hadn’t gone south.”

Striking out from the railyard, the four made their way into the city and stared up with barely-contained glee. Pairs and groups of people mingled about, walking about the neon-strewn streets. Asking where the Lucky Cat was, Kavanaugh felt his spirits rising for the first time in days. There it was, the café where they’d be able to talk to someone that might be able to tell them what was going on. The café was dark, but there was a light on upstairs. Clapping his hands together, Kavanaugh laughed as he went to the door and knocked. “Best thing should be the food. Woman who owns this place knows how to cook for two boys, she knows about feeding the hungry.”

Rarity blinked. “We’ve eaten MREs the past three days.” Scholz and Lisowski both gave her a look. “Point taken.”

Smiling and shaking his head, Kavanaugh tried to peek behind the blinds on the windows and saw movement on the stairs. Listening carefully, he heard footsteps coming to the door. “There it is, we’ll be sleeping on a soft mattress before the hour’s out -- ” Kavanaugh froze as he felt a gun barrel push into his jaw as the door opened. “Oh God.”

“Corporal?”

Kavanaugh blinked at the Dutch accent. “Van der Burgh?”

The door shut, and after three seconds of locks unlocking swung open to show Van der Burgh with her pistol at the ready. “Corporal, Lisowski, where the hell have you been?”

“Oh have we a tale to tell you,” Kavanaugh said, shoving his group into the café and slamming the door behind him. “We were in Los Angeles, and there were toons -- ”

“Well we came here, and we met Cass Hamada -- ”

“Weasels everywhere, and they’re dipping toons -- ”

“There were Yakuza and they had cybernetics -- ”

“We rode on a train to escape, and it was a toon train -- ”

“And there was a fight, and we’ve been hiding out for the past three nights -- ”

Rarity pulled the two away. “Excuse me, but can I please find a shower!?”

Twilight poked her head down from the second floor. “Rarity?!”

Rarity lit up and sprinted up the steps. “Twilight!” Wrapping her arms around her friend, Rarity was crying for joy as Twilight tried to keep Rarity from accidentally strangling her. “Oh thank goodness, darling, I thought I wasn’t going to see any of you again!”

Twilight grunted, smiling despite the oxygen deprivation. “It’s-UGH!-It’s good to see you too Rarity.”

Cass came down from upstairs, taking in the scene of the team reconnecting. “Oh, so are these some of your teammates?”

Van der Burgh nodded. “Yes, yes Ms. Hamada. Sorry, I know it’s a lot of noise.”

“Noise nothing, now I know you can fight off whatever happens next.” Cass smiled, coming down the stairs. “Do you all need anything?”

“Just time to talk ma’am,” Kavanaugh said. Waiting until Cass went back upstairs, Kavanaugh set one of the chairs down and collapsed into it. “Alright, start from the beginning, what happened when you went through the gate?”

Van der Burgh and the others grabbed their own chairs and joined Kavanaugh at the table. “Well it was strange. I remember stepping through the gate, but it was warped. You know how it almost looked like you’re in a tunnel of light?” Kavanaugh nodded. “It was like there were branches, almost like it was splitting off.”

Kavanaugh scanned the table. “All of you saw the same?” The troopers nodded. “So we can confirm that something about this place is some kind of dimensional, I don’t know, fork?” More nods. “Then we go from there.” Thirty minutes later, and the five troopers all looked to each other for answers. “So it really is a world where these movies and series exist together.” Kavanaugh glared down at the table. “For all we know the rest of the teams are scattered about the world.”

“But we saw Doofenshmirtz as well,” Lisowski said. “If some of them managed to make it to Danville we might have a chance they can find Phineas and Ferb and get us all back.”

“That’s a long shot,” Kavanaugh said. “And between your handling the Yakuza and our aiding a toon we’ve upset whatever balance might exist here.”

“So we’re stuck,” Scholz groaned, rubbing at his temples. “What about Twilight?”

Van der Burgh shook her head, keeping her voice low. “Blinked. Again. Cass Hamada was able to act, but she wasn’t.”

Kavanaugh sighed. “We’re going to have to face the facts then. Rarity, Applejack, Sunset, hell even Rainbow Dash can act. If Twilight and Fluttershy can’t get their own acts together we’ll have to make the case that they need to be taken off the active roster.”

“Break up a team like that,” Lisowski said, sounding nervous. “That could destroy their morale and cohesion though.”

“It’s better than risking them getting anyone killed,” Kavanaugh said. “Themselves especially.”

Despite the whispers, Twilight had heard everything from her spot on the stairs just where the ceiling cut her off from being seen. Rarity held her friend, looking on her with sympathetic eyes. “It’ll be fine, Twilight. I’m sure you’re going to figure out what you can do soon enough.”

Twilight hung her head. “No, I won’t.” Standing up, Twilight went to the window in the kitchen and looked out onto San Fransokyo. “I’m not a fighter, Rarity. I mean you didn’t see what happened when those criminals came in here. One second Van der Burgh was just sipping her tea, and then she just throws it in their faces and starts beating down on them…” Twilight leaned on the sill and stared out into the night. “All I could think to do was throw a salt shaker at them.”

Rarity blushed at the second-hand embarrassment. “Oh, well, I’m sure that they understand this isn’t something that comes easily. After all, a lot of the threats we’ve faced aren’t magical.”

“But some of them are,” Twilight said. “Even after everything that’s happened I still don’t understand why I don’t act. I mean I think about what to do, ask myself what has to happen, but I don’t actually do anything.”

“Because this is still new to all of us,” Rarity said. “Applejack and Rainbow are used to this just because of who they are. Sunset, she grew up in a world where she knew to use magic.”

“And what about you,” Twilight said. “You want to be a fashion designer, but you’re able to act in these situations aren’t you?”

Rarity nodded, her voice soft as she spoke. “Only because I need to, Twilight. I suppose I can’t explain it, but I can understand what those two agents were talking about in Magnolia. We have to face the fact that we aren’t just facing magic and monsters anymore. Some of these people, these foes, there’s no promise that we can use our magic to help them.”

Twilight’s head hung low out the window. Realizing that she wasn’t doing much to help now, Rarity moved upstairs, leaving her friend alone with her thoughts.

Twilight: Looking out on the night and feeling my hopes drift away

Don’t know what to do if it turns out we’ll stay

Don’t treat anyone bad, so why is my life turning out sad

All these fights, and frightened nights, just want to lay down and cry

Feel as useless as an acid when I need a base

How many more fights can I really face

But if I get back to the SGC, then I’ll be able to help they’ll see

But for now I’m stuck looking out on the San Fransokyo Bay

Van der Burgh blinked. “Is she…Is she singing? This isn’t that kind of Disney movie.”

Kavanaugh smiled, leaning back as Twilight went on. “Aye, but she’s got a good voice. Best to let her get this out. Might do her some good.” Vogt nodded, tapping his foot along to the beat. Grinning, Lisowski grabbed some utensils from behind the counter and started tapping along, Kavanaugh whistling as Van der Burgh jumped up and started dancing atop the table. After the stresses of the past few days, an impromptu jam session was just what everyone needed as they all broke out in smiles.

Twilight: Looking out a café window, don’t know which way to go

Thinking of my friends out there, are they okay? I don’t know

If Sunset were here I’d be fine, she’d know what to do

Applejack and Rainbow, they’d carry us on through

At least Rarity’s here, know I won’t go insane

Wonder if Fluttershy and Pinkie wound up the same

If we get back to the SGC, we’ll show how useful we can be

But for now I’m looking out on the San Fransokyo Bay

Stuck looking out on the San Fransokyo Bay!

Wishing for tomorrow looking out on San Fransokyo Bay!

As silence descended on the café again, Kavanaugh looked up and saw the lights go out in the first floor. Or the second floor, as the Americans said it. “Beautiful voice she has.”

Scholz grinned. “Better than a man from Cork?”

“Watch it,” Kavanaugh said, still grinning. “Tomorrow we need to figure out how to get to the portal from this movie, see about possibly getting it working like a stargate.”

Van der Burgh and Vogt winced. “That might be harder than you think, corporal.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 14: The Wasteland, Middleton, Las Vegas, 23^rd Precinct

Lee shook his head, staring out over the city ruins. More specifically, the massive spacecraft settled into the ground surrounded by mountains of cubes of garbage piled around the skyscrapers. Hundreds of people like the one from before floated around the ship, Martis trying to figure out how they were all so fat. “How many people are aboard?” The robot beeped as quietly as possible. “I…don’t speak machine.”

“He said roughly five hundred thousand the last count,” Lee said, watching as hover chairs and white-and-orange security robots rolled about the perimeter. “And your master said they apparently rescue people?” The robot beeped an affirmative. “That’s why they’re all outside, isn’t it.” Another beep. “Very well. Sir, there’s a problem then.” Martis nodded, looking numb at the sight. “If the Axiom is still controlled by AUTO then there’s no means we can use to try and gain the technology necessary to open a wormhole. We’ll need to go back to Brodeur and Fluttershy and figure out a new plan.” Martis nodded, Lee turning to the robot and smiling. “Thank you very much for your help Beepsy.” Beepsy replied happily, his eyes going to “^ ^”. “I suppose you have to go back?” Beepsy paused, looking out to the Axiom nervously. “Of course, you could come with us. I’m sure there’s somewhere you can charge when you need it.”

Beepsy looked up hopefully, pixelated eyes wide at the prospect. “Yes, yes my good man, you’re more than welcome to come with us.” Beepsy spun about in the air and hugged Lee, Martis watching the scene and realizing that nothing would ever make sense again. “Come, we need to get back.”

It was another journey across the wastes, but when they got close to where they’d started from they heard a noise drifting across the wastes. A gentle, quiet sobbing drifting over the dunes. Looking at each other, Lee and Martis started sprinting toward the sound of Fluttershy’s voice. Cresting dune after dune, the two saw from atop the last one Fluttershy desperately digging at the ground as Brodeur kept his eye on the surrounding area. Laying on the ground just behind Fluttershy was the Axiom passenger, motionless facing up to the sky. Lee summed it up as he hurried down the dune. “Oh no.”

Brodeur looked over and nodded. “It happened this morning,” he said quietly. “He complained of a numbness in his left side, and then of even more shortness of breath.”

Lee nodded. “It wasn’t quick was it?” Brodeur shook his head. “How long has she been at it?”

“Since she realized he wasn’t coming back,” Brodeur said, switching to French. “She kept saying she didn’t want to be like us.”

“Rather presumptive,” Lee said, sadness edging into his voice. “I’ll talk to her.” Leaving Brodeur, Lee went for Fluttershy. The stink of shit and piss finally hit his nostrils, and from the strength there was plenty of it in the man’s body that had been unleashed on his death. The cockroach scurried over, hopping up and down to get Lee’s attention. Kneeling down and letting it crawl onto his hand, he whispered, “I understand that the body is going to be a good source of food for your family sir, but I would request that you wait until we get her away from it? I don’t think she can handle the sight.” The cockroach squeaked out his understanding and jumped to the ground as Lee went over.

Fluttershy’s back was toward him, the girl working desperately to dig a grave large enough to hold the man. “Fluttershy, I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not,” Fluttershy whimpered. “You just left him here, you knew how dangerous it would be.”

Lee nodded. “I did. Because it would’ve also been a danger to have him accompany us.”

“That’s not true,” Fluttershy said, not stopping as she dug. “It wasn’t like when we met MV-9, or in Fiore. He wasn’t trying to hurt us.”

Lee nodded. “You’re right, he wasn’t. We also couldn’t have helped him.”

Fluttershy spun around, glaring at Lee like a bear about to attack. “That’s a lie! We have medical gear, don’t we? Why couldn’t we have saved his life!”

“Because that medical gear isn’t made to handle heart attacks,” Lee said. His tone was the only soft thing about the way he was speaking to Fluttershy. “What would have happened if he’d had his heart attack two days ago? Or if we hadn’t fought back? You’d rather we’d have let him kill one of us?”

Fluttershy tried to fight against the tears. “You’re just a meanie,” she whispered. “All you care about is your missions and hurting people you don’t like. I bet you don’t even know what a friend is.” Turning back to her digging, Fluttershy kept shooting off at Lee. “All that talk about those movies you all watched as kids, and you didn’t take any of it to heart. You’d rather leave a person to…To die! You’d rather leave them behind just so you can accomplish a stupid mission.”

Lee let the words bounce off. He knew it was Fluttershy’s emotions taking hold, and if he let himself react? He’d only make things worse. Best she get it out before he said anything.

“Shooting, and hurting people, and not caring if they get hurt if you don’t help them!” Throwing sand everywhere and throwing long-buried trash about, Fluttershy could barely speak as she sank her bare hands into the turf. “I tried to help him, tried to give him CPR!” Lee turned to look at Brodeur, asking without saying anything. “Did you let him die?” Brodeur shook his head.

“You…You just care about the missions…” Fluttershy’s speech was halting now, her arms flailing at this point. She wasn’t digging anymore, just throwing loose ground about. “You don’t care…You’re monsters…” Her sobs grew heavier at this point, and she was bent over on herself. “You’re not human, you don’t care about anyone if they aren’t important to what you need to do! You’re…You’re…” Fluttershy’s head fell to the ground. “You’re insane!” Taking a breath, Lee walked to the opposite side of Fluttershy’s grave and started digging at the ground.

It took hours to finally get the job done. Lee and Brodeur taking shifts between digging the grave and keeping watch on the horizon. Eventually, with the sun setting, the final step of digging out space from under the man to let him roll into the grave. Covering his body as best they could, Lee took a moment to observe Fluttershy. Her eyes were hollow; it was clear she wasn’t present even in spirit. Taking a breath, Lee bowed his head. “Beepsy, what was his name?” It was modified, but Lee thought he heard, “Michael”.

“Lord, we bury Michael here this day,” he said, Brodeur bowing his head as well. “Born into a world he never knew until it was too late, unable to witness the glory of this creation in true form. Trapped by man’s creations in a spoiled land, may he now look out onto others that were unsullied. We trust his mortal remains to you, for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory.” He threw three small handfuls of dirt on the grave. “Now and forever. Amen.”

“Au revoir,” Brodeur whispered, going back to keeping watch. Martis nodded to Lee and went to join Brodeur, leaving Fluttershy alone with Lee beside the grave as the sun sank.

“I don’t understand,” Fluttershy whispered. “You left him to die, then you said all that. Why? It doesn’t make any sense.” Whimpering again, Fluttershy wiped desperately at her eyes. “Am I the one going crazy?” There was only one thing Lee could say in response.

“We’re all mad here, Alice.”

Campbell sat at the Possible’s dinner table, waiting for someone to speak. Dr. Ann Possible sat with a cup of hot tea in her hands, looking down at the table. Dr. James Possible was looking out the patio window. Kim was up in her room, she’d been there since that afternoon. Her brothers, realizing that this was well beyond their comprehension of a situation, wisely did the same.

“Dimensional travelers,” James said quietly. “I can’t say it’s impossible.”

“That didn’t give any of you a right to essentially force your way into our home,” Ann said, glaring up at Campbell. “Especially you, seeing as you’re apparently in charge of these two.”

“My people are scattered to hell ma’am, I will take whatever steps I deem necessary to get them back.” Taking a breath to keep his anger in check, he tried to soften his expression. “What happened to your daughter? The Kim Possible I remember was a top-tier agent, capable of handling villains and those with superpowers more easily than her own homework.”

“She could,” James said. “Until one mission to Bolivia.”

“She and Ronald had gone to stop one of Drakken’s plans involving shipments of bananas from the docks,” Ann said. “Only, something went wrong.”

Campbell nodded. “Wrong how?”

“Ronald, he…” Ann sipped at her tea. “There was an accident. Kim and Shego were apparently fighting, Shego sliced through a support beam on a crane.”

“By the time Ronald realized what was happening there, well there wasn’t enough time to get out of the way.” James sighed and got up to get his own cup of tea. “Kim just came back that night sobbing.”

Campbell nodded. “And that was the downward spiral.”

“Ms. Possible started to falter academically, athletically, there was nothing in her.” Barkin was standing to the side, looking out the back door of the kitchen stoically. “We gave her counseling, time, but it was clear she’d been more heavily affected than we could help with. Speaking with her parents, the school agreed to grant her the time necessary to process what had happened.”

Campbell started to pace the kitchen. “And the others? Her friends?”

“They’re still concerned,” Ann said. “Monique still comes by every so often, but everyone else agreed to just wait and give her time.”

As the four spoke, Applejack sat hunched over on the couch in the living room. She wanted to turn on the TV and figure out what the rest of the world was like, but didn’t want to be rude and just mess with someone else’s stuff without asking. Baker wasn’t so considerate, and was grinning as he poked about the room. Applejack had to force herself to accept what she was seeing, Baker’s own look clashed hard with how this world did.

“Bloody incredible,” Baker whispered, tapping a picture frame. “It’s just like the show, right to their own bloody faces.”

“And that’s not weird to you?” Applejack pointed to the kitchen. “You’re acting like it’s the most normal thing in the world to be in a cartoon from when you were a kid right now.”

“Of course it’s not normal, it’s bloody mad.” Still smiling, he looked over the pictures on the mantle over the fireplace. “So are the aliens, and the other dimensions, and bloody hell we work in the same group as a bloody sapient gorilla.”

Applejack sighed. “I just don’t think we’re doing the right thing here. Aren’t we being too forceful?”

“Sometimes you need to be direct,” Baker said, smiling as he looked at a picture of Kim Possible in her mission gear. “Captain wants to get us all together, right? He’s just doing what he needs to so it can happen. Plus, he’s not lying anymore.”

“I know, and that’s one thing I’m thankful for.” Standing up, Applejack walked to the windows and looked outside on the Texas night. “I just don’t like getting anything started without knowing where everyone else is.”

“Well just sitting around waiting for something to happen won’t help either, especially without any money.” Walking over to Applejack, he nodded up at the second floor. “I know that girl up there don’t look like much now, but I promise you that if we can set her right again? We’ll be home by the end of the week.”

Campbell walked out of the kitchen, looking exhausted as Barkin and James went for the door. “We’ll be allowed to stay a night. The Possibles will let us sleep on the couches, but be prepared to move tomorrow morning.”

Applejack sighed. “No choice?”

“Not for now,” Campbell said, sitting down and motioning that Baker could do the same. “Kick off your boots, cowgirl. No point in not trying to get any sleep.”

Syndrome dove into the food, Alice keeping her opinions to herself on his table manners. Despite his gut he ate like a man ravaged by hunger, pausing only to breathe, drink, and belch. “So,” he mumbled through a mouth full of fowl. “What’re you all doing in my testing range?”

“A mistake I assure you sir,” Alice said politely. “We misjudged our place. I assure you that we meant no trespass.”

“Sure, sure, all an honest mistake.” Syndrome tossed a half-eaten drumstick over his shoulder, three sets of hungry eyes following it. “I know no one would willingly associate with a super.” Garcia gave a worried look to Belenko. “So, why’d you bring her here?”

“A demonstration,” Garcia said. “A new hypnosis technique we were hoping to sell to you.”

Syndrome’s eyes narrowed. “Hypnosis huh? Well one of my employees has her own technique, and I don’t think it’s as effective as -- ”

“Screenslaver is only as effective as her reach with a screen is,” Belenko said firmly. “Our technique, however, is a more direct approach.” She turned to Rainbow. “This one we took from her hideout two weeks ago. She’s so well-conditioned she doesn’t even remember that we took her.”

Syndrome looked over at Rainbow, hovering over to the girl. Rainbow had to force herself not to wretch, the smell coming off of him was terrible. His teeth were crooked and stained, from what she didn’t want to think about too hard. “So she’s really that hypnotized huh?” Syndrome laughed, spit flying on Rainbow’s face as he spun around. “Then why’s she so calm?”

“Because I’m not hypnotized you fat ugly jerk!” Rainbow’s wings sprouted, and she balled up her fist. “I’ll show you calm!”

Belenko jumped up. “Stop!” Rainbow froze in midair. Nodding, Belenko sat back down and in the same tone said, “Get back to your seat.” Nervously looking at Belenko, Rainbow went back to her place and folded her wings back in.

Syndrome stared in awe at the display. “Woah doggy. You’re right, she is well hypnotized.”

Alice nodded, her face as placid as she could make it considering her heart was beating hard enough to rip through her chest and bounce around the table for a while. “Precisely what we expected you would think sir.” Syndrome’s smile was hideous to behold, but by now Alice was used to the look of old men with more power than sense giving her those smiles. “I hope this makes up for our mistakes in trying to contact you.”

“Oh it does,” Syndrome said, wiping some errant drool away from his mouth. “What do you say, should we start negotiating?”

“Unfortunately sir, we aren’t very coherent after such a long day,” Garcia said, yawning. “May we at least ask for two rooms for the night? Even for a super, the girl needs rest.”

Syndrome nodded, his smile thankfully fading. “Yeah, sure, I’ll set you all up. Mirage!” As the woman walked into the room, Syndrome started hacking into his sleeve. “Get them a place to stay. Ugh, that’s happening way too often lately.” Muttering to himself, Syndrome hovered back into the light and out of everyone’s sight as the door slid back down.

As Belenko glared at Rainbow, Alice rose and nodded to Mirage. “Thank you for putting us up, ma’am.”

“It’s not a problem at all,” Mirage whispered, almost like she was trying to seduce all of them. “Your rooms are this way. Follow me?” The rest of the walk was silent, Mirage smiling that same devious smile as they went on through the halls of the building to their rooms. “Breakfast will be served when you all are ready tomorrow morning. I recommend that you all make the most of our amenities.” She led the four down a sleek black hallway, lit with harsh fluorescent lights. “Should you need anything tonight, your room phones are connected to our staff switchboard.” Stopping at a massive pair of black doors, she pushed them open and let the four take in the view. “We hope you enjoy your time here.”

The windows in the pure-white room looked out over a cacophony of colors. Bright flashing neon lights and gimmicky signs on the side of towering concrete rectangles lined with windows. The Aladdin, Barbary Coast, Boardwalk. The Sahara and Sands. One street looked like it was nothing but flashing lights, with a giant cowboy standing tall above everything.

When the doors clicked shut, Belenko and Garcia went to unplugging everything connected to an outlet or plug. Shutting all doors to the adjoining rooms, the two shut off the lights and waited for a minute before speaking. “Alright, so we’re -- ”

“Awesome!” Rainbow sped for the windows. “This place is almost exactly like Las Pegasus!” Belenko facepalmed.

Alice sighed and went to sit on the sofa. “Can you please explain what just happened?”

“Apologies,” Garcia said, pulling Rainbow away from the window. “If we had to make the guess, Syndrome thought we were enemies at first. The dinner was just him playing up the image of being the diabolical villain.”

Alice blinked. “Wait, that’s what he was trying to do?”

“He’s a creature of show,” Belenko said, sitting Rainbow down (a little too forcefully) on the couch. “He’s setting himself up as a powerful figure, someone who can do anything.”

“Not someone who can use proper table manners apparently,” Alice said, glaring out the window. “I suppose this town is a rather apt place for him then?”

“Actually, this is confusing.” Garcia looked out the window with a concerned expression. “Syndrome wouldn’t set himself up in the middle of a city. Before he stationed himself specifically on an isolated island to be as far away from other people as possible. So what is he doing in Las Vegas?”

“And what’s with his personality,” Rainbow said. “Guy was acting like a total weirdo.”

“He is a total weirdo,” Belenko said, going to the door and listening out of it for a moment. “The fact he bought that whole story about hypnosis is proof enough.”

Garcia grinned. “It can be an advantage too.” Stretching out, he checked the windows before finding a cord. “For now, I’m bushed. Belenko, can you take the first watch?” Belenko nodded. “Ma’am, you can get some sleep, we’ll take it in shifts for the night to make sure there aren’t any surprises.”

Alice blinked. “Are you sure?”

“We’ll be fine ma’am,” Belenko said, motioning for Garcia to help her put what furniture there was in front of the door. “We need you to take the lead tomorrow, you’re a noble right?” Alice nodded. “Then you’re probably used to dealing with delusional old men.”

Rainbow looked around, confused. “What about me?”

“You just listen to us tomorrow,” Belenko said firmly. “He thinks you’re hypnotized to the point where you’re not hypnotized. And don’t ever do something that stupid again.” The glare was enough to send Rainbow hurrying for an empty bedroom.

Letting the two troopers at least partially secure the room, Alice flipped on the light as she entered one of the empty rooms. Like the rest of the building, it was black floors and walls with almost brilliantly white bedding. Her room didn’t face out onto the lights and sights though. Her window looked out on the vast emptiness of the desert they’d just been taken from. “We just need to focus on getting out of here,” she thought. “Maybe we can escape into the city? Rainbow Dash could probably carry us out the window. The question is how will the people below react to seeing such things.” Taking off her jacket and shoes, she settled onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling for a while. “Just hang on everyone. I will get you all back safely.”

Gantz and Becker were somehow still wide awake and listening as Goliath and the Manhattan clan told them everything that had happened to them, but Sunset had lost the train about the same time Xanatos had captured a being called Coyote and at this point was desperately trying to stay awake. Randel had just decided to give up, sleeping on the steeps with the dog-creature laying at his feet.

“Amazing,” Becker said. “So Xanatos is in with the Sykes family, but he keeps the other criminals around for deniability and as a customer base.”

“What’s not amazing is that you’re all taking this so well,” Elisa said. “You aren’t concerned that this all matches up so well with the shows and movies you watched as kids?”

“Infinite possibilities,” Becker said, Sunset noticing a little too much happiness in his voice. “Once you factor that in, anything makes sense once you’re in another dimension.”

“That mindset will serve you well here,” Goliath said, smiling down on the two men. Looking back toward the ocean, the clan leader nodded. “The dawn approaches. You all must leave now.”

Becker and Gantz nodded, Becker holding out his hand. “An honor, Goliath.” Goliath nodded, reaching out his hand and shaking. Becker had to stop himself from shouting out, and Gantz quickly got his own handshake in before the four went down from the tower.

Elisa was smiling as she led them back into the service stairwell. “That was the best first impression I’ve ever seen anyone give them.”

Becker put on a bad Arabic accent. “Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts.”

“You guys are something else,” Elisa said, leading them back into the main building. “So what are you gonna do now?”

“We’re not sure,” Sunset said. “Even with all this information we still have to figure out how to get home.”

“Well if anyone has a way, Xanatos probably does. The question is what can you give him to get a favor in return?”

Gantz shrugged. “I guess we’ll finally learn the answer to the question: What do you get a man who has everything?”

“Well, just get back safe,” Elisa said, stopping at the door to the street. “For all we know he’s been watching every move we’ve made.”

Gantz grinned, patting Randel on the arm. “You’ve never seen the corporal in action. Especially against the dragon in Magnolia.” Elisa raised an eyebrow. “We’ll recap it for you later.”

Waving their goodbyes, Becker and Gantz smiled as the sun rose again on the city. Which is why Sunset was caught off guard when Becker said, “They didn’t mention the one that was missing.”

“The older one.” Gantz nodded. “He’s either dead, or he’s been forced to Xanatos’ side.”

Randel gulped. “Which one is worse?”

“Well in death he can’t hurt his clan on the orders from his enemy.” Becker looked up at Randel. “Dead, he isn’t cursing himself for harming another.”

Sunset didn’t bother trying to hold back her yawn. “Well let’s just focus on getting some sleep,” she groaned, leaning on a stoplight as they came up on an intersection. “Is night the only time they come out?”

Becker and Gantz giggled as Gantz answered, “Well during the day they get totally stoned.” Both men kept laught as they walked, leaving Sunset and Randel to share a brief look before they hurried behind the two.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15: The Author Finally Catches Back Up With the Plot

Phineas smiled, shutting the final panel he’d been working on. “Alright, that should do it. Now we can finally bring your teams back together and hopefully get you all back home.”

“And not a moment too soon,” Durand said, smiling as he and Schneider backed away from the device. “Whenever you’re ready, Phineas.”

Smiling, Phineas tapped a big red button on the side of the machine. It was a massive, silver-sheened device. The copper wiring necessary to aid the function were all contained within pristine white plastic, giving the entire outer edge a soft, smooth appearance. It was circular, like the gate, but there was no spinning to dial addresses. He’d have to ask Phineas about how that was possible to do later-

“And now the final part.” Taking out a scanner, Phineas ran the device over Durand and nodded. “Got it.”

“Got it?” Durand looked to Schneider. “Got what?”

“Your quantum signature of course,” Phineas said happily. “Even if you’re here, you still resonate with the same subatomic signature as your home universe.”

“And that way we can track all other traces of that same signature,” Durand whispered. “Phineas, you and your brother will win a Nobel Prize one day.”

“Oh we know,” Phineas said, like he was reading it out of a magazine. “The committee already said we’re shoe-ins as soon as we get our degrees, but for now we just want to enjoy summer.”

“You both have no idea how lucky you are.” Smiling, Durand watched as the portal shifted before his eyes. The portal thrummed, and soon the pink color of the portal faded and revealed not one, but several destinations.

The four in the Tipton were staring at the portal opening in their suite along with the seven in the Lucky Cat café, four in the wastes, four in Las Vegas, three in Middleton, and four in Echo Creek. Blinking, the leader of each group hesitantly walked up to the portal that had appeared. It looked out onto a small backyard, green with a single tree. Slowly, they put a hand through.

On the other end, Durand shook his head as he watched the portal divide into six equal sections. Phineas nodded. “Hmmm. Yep, I figured this would happen.” Durand looked down in shock. “Since your people were all scattered, we had to factor in the possibility that they’d have different locations. So, we made it so that the gateway would be able to open more than one portal at a time. A little power intensive, but it looks like you needed it here.”

Campbell’s voice came out of the portal first. “Is that…Is that Phineas?”

“Captain!” Durand laughed. “Captain, you’re alive!”

“Durand!” Campbell stuck his head through, quickly followed by Garcia, Kavanaugh, Lee, Ricci, and Becker. “Bloody hell, you’re all alive!”

“Hold that thought,” Garcia said, pulling his head back. Seconds later Rainbow Dash came flying out, screaming as she sailed through the air. Belenko and Alice jumped out after her, Garcia doing the same. The portal shifted, turning into five equal sections. “We’ll explain when we have time.”

“Good call,” Campbell said. “All of you get your people to the backyard now!”

Seconds later everyone was jumping through the portal, the CHS Seven hugging and nearly weeping with joy as Alice took stock of her team. Kavanaugh was quickly explaining to Cass Hamada about what was happening, but Campbell noticed that Weber wasn’t there yet. “Ricci, where’s the sergeant?”

Ricci cringed. “We found ourselves in Echo Creek, sir.”

“Echo…Oh bloody hell.” Sticking his head back through the portal, then back out and nodding to Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella, the three kids ears were quickly covered as Campbell shouted through the portal, “Sergeant get your fucking ass back here double-quick or I’ll make sure you’re barred from further missions!” Seconds later Sgt. Weber was back looking more than a little dejected. Hands were removed from ears and Campbell nodded to Phineas. “Thank you lad. Can you shut it down?”

Phineas nodded, smiling as he hoped up to the control panel and powered down the device. “Nice work everyone, we couldn't have done it without you.”

Campbell nodded, smiling as he squatted down to the boys level. “You’ve both done fine work here. Sorry to ask though, but we need a little more help.”

“You need to get back to where you came from,” Phineas said, grinning. “Already handled. We’ll just use your dimensional signatures to send you back.”

“Aye, but as you can tell we all aren’t from the same world,” Campbell said, gesturing to Alice and Sunset. “What we need is something from the SGC…” Campbell grinned, and tapping his lacrima suddenly held an MRE packet in-hand. “Use this.”

Phineas nodded, scanning the packet. As he did, Campbell turned to the group. “Now, where’s Pinkie Pie?” The girl popped up behind Campbell, the captain letting out a yelp. “How do you do that woman!”

Pinkie shrugged. “It’s a habit. Anyway, corporal? Remember that thing you told me to do?”

Durand’s face fell. “What about it?”

“Yeah, she kinda-sorta took over one of the floats I was using to box her in and she’s on her way here.”

Durand shuddered. “We need to clean this all up, P...The usual means of disposing of these problems isn’t functional here.”

Campbell nodded. “Phineas, as rude as it may seem we need to take this with us. Is there a way?”

“Oh, we already knew you’d need that too once Cpl. Durand explained what you’re all trying to do.” Gesturing for a look, Campbell saw two large buttons; one green, one red. “The green one is to transport the portal to another universe, the red is a self-destruct. He told us that sometimes you’ve found things that you can’t risk getting into the multiverse.”

Campbell sighed. “You’re both going to make the world an amazing place one day.”

Phineas waved the compliment off as Ferb scanned the MRE. “Aw, you’re just saying that.” The new portal opened up, and Campbell saw the SGC appear on the other side. “There you go, one portal all set.”

“Alright, sergeant get them through on the double!” The teams ran through, Weber counting as they ran. “Phineas, how do we get back here?” Ferb had already been scribbling down the directions on a notepad and handed the page to Campbell. “Right, got it.” Pausing, he smiled at the two boys. “Thank you, both of you. You just saved all our lives.”

Phineas’ eyes widened. “Wow, we saved your lives? Ferb, cross that one off the list!” Ferb flipped to an earlier page and did so, giving a thumbs up. “Great!”

“We’re off then,” Campbell said, nodding to the three children. “We’ll be back soon enough, I promise it.” Nodding to Weber, Campbell waited for his sergeant to go through before jumping in himself. Tapping the green button, Phineas smiled as the gateway was slowly enveloped by a sheen of shimmering energy. Soon the metal started to fade away, until the backyard was empty once more.

Candace came flying over the fence, screaming as she landed the parade float in a skid atop the parade float.. “Aha! I knew I’d find you all -- ” She blinked. “Just standing in the backyard?”

“Oh hi Candace,” Phineas said happily. “Nice float, I’m surprised dad let you take it.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Well he mentioned that the tubes aren’t -- ” The bike started to wobble and fell apart into pieces atop the float. “Held together.”

Campbell made a quick headcount as the teams regrouped in the SGC. “All here sir, all here!”

“Stand down,” Gen. Hammond ordered over the PA. “MV teams, report to the infirmary immediately.”

Picking themselves up, the teams smiled in relief as they made their way out. Durand chuckled as they moved. “Well, that was an interesting morning.” Everyone froze and stared at him. “What?”

Kavanaugh glared at the Frenchman. “We rode a bloody freight train for three days!”

“Three…” Durand turned and saw similar expressions from the other teams. “But we were only there a morning!”

“And we were only there a day,” Campbell whispered. “We need to talk to Maj. Carter, now.”

Carter finally set down her pen, seeing on the clock that four hours had gone by. “As near as I can guess, and this is a big guess, you’re right. Something has interfered with the fabric of space-time in that dimension. My theory is that several localized events have created what I’m tentatively calling ‘trails’ off the path the mirror formed to take you there.”

“Meaning it really was him,” Campbell said, looking to Gen. Hammond. “Sir, we need to return to that dimension immediately.”

Gen. Hammond shook his head. “Denied captain. After hearing what happened to you all I can’t in good conscience risk any more teams on such an effort.”

“Sir, there are several incidents of what I can only call dimensional threat entities,” Campbell said, part of him proud he’d just come up with such a good term on the spot. “These beings are able to literally warp space-time at will. If we ignore their presence we set the stage for them to assault us at will.”

Carter looked to Gen. Hammond. “If that’s the case sir we can’t ignore this universe. It’s possible that these beings, whatever they are, might find their way back here.”

Gen. Hammond thought for a moment at the head of the table. “Lt. Malvin, Ms. Shimmer, what do you both think?”

“Capt. Campbell is the expert here sir,” Sunset said, Alice nodding agreement. “If he thinks we need to go back, I agree that we need to.”

Gen. Hammond blinked. “Expert? How?”

Campbell looked up at the ceiling awkwardly. “Sir, do you know the saying that if an infinite number of monkeys were given infinite typewriters, they’d eventually write the works of Shakespeare?” Gen. Hammond nodded. “Well here the monkeys wrote every Disney television show and movie we grew up with.”

Gen. Hammond leaned back in his chair as Maj. Carter blinked. “Disney?”

Campbell looked down at the table. “Yes sir, Disney. Multiple shows and movies that match almost exactly with this dimension.”

Forget a pin, the room was so silent you could hear the approaching heat-death of the universe. It was a solid two minutes before Gen. Hammond took a long, slow breath and looked to Campbell. “Captain, I am going to trust you when you say that.” Campbell smiled, still incredulous but thankful that Gen. Hammond would believe him. “I suppose that after being with the SGC at this point, I’m willing to take a few things on the words of my officers.”

“Thank you sir.” Campbell smiled to Gen. Hammond. “Sir, my team is able to take the rest of this mission on our own, we just need time to prepare to go back.”

“Not a chance,” Sunset said. “Sir, I know my team is still trying to adjust to these missions, but they still need magical backup in case they find something dangerous.”

“I request that my team remain as well sir,” Alice said, Campbell noticing she was rather eager to speak up. “There are stronger forces at work in this dimension that are more human than magical.”

Campbell’s curiosity was piqued. “Based on what?”

“Just on what we saw in that city Las Vegas sir,” Alice said. “That man, Syndrome, there’s no way he could operate in such a manner unless someone in the government was allowing him to.”

Campbell leaned back for a moment. “Aye, that is a fine point. Good observation lieutenant.” Alice gave a small but proud smile.

Gen. Hammond nodded. “Very well, the teams will remain on this mission. Captain, how long will you need to prepare?”

“A solid week sir, minimum.”

“You’ll have it.” Getting up, Gen. Hammond walked to the window to watch as the SGC scientists and techs marveled over their newest gateway. “Make sure you can send messages back at least once a week as long as you’re there. I don’t want to risk losing contact with any of my teams.”

“Sir.”

“All of you have a week to prepare, dismissed.” As the three team leaders left the room, Gen. Hammond turned to Maj. Carter. “Thoughts?”

“I’m worried about 7 and 9 sir,” Carter said. “You saw Fluttershy’s face as she came through. Even if she was happy to be back something had happened. And Twilight seemed to be making a purposeful effort to avoid being too close to anyone in 4.”

“And MV-9?”

Carter shook her head. “If Lt. Malvin is right then they might be more useful as analysts than a field team sir.”

Gen. Hammond sighed. “We’ll give them this mission to try and right themselves. I can’t give Sen. Kinsey any more cause to try and handicap our efforts with this meeting of the Goa’uld apparently approaching.”

“Understood sir.” Gathering up her notes, Carter shook her head. “Disney though, that’s…That’s gonna be an interesting one to submit to the Pentagon sir.”

Gen. Hammond sighed. “Don’t remind me, major.”

Campbell moved with a purpose, Alice and Sunset practically jogging to keep up with his suddenly long strides. Moving into the theater, he strode up to the stage and immediately went into a brief. “Well we’re all accounted for. Good job on all of you for keeping each other alive and making sure that you remained focused on the mission.” Letting them all smile for themselves, Campbell turned to Alice and Sunset. “Now, if both of your teams are going to remain with us we need to -- ”

“No!”

Everyone froze, turning to look at Fluttershy. The girl wilted slightly, but said, “I…I don’t want to go back.”

Sunset tried to keep her nerves in check. Fluttershy leaving was understandable. What worried her was if anyone else wanted to opt out. She noticed Twilight’s hand twitch, slowly moving up. That’s when Rainbow Dash jumped over her seat at Fluttershy. “What’re you talking about!?”

Fluttershy winced, but looked surprised when Brodeur pulled Rainbow away. “If she does not want to go, she does not have to go.”

“As she is technically a civilian attaché rather than military personnel, she has every right to refuse returning on this mission.” Buffing his fingernails, Lee blew on them and never bothered looking to Rainbow. “Unless Sunset tells her to return, she doesn’t have to.”

“And I won’t,” Sunset said. “It’s okay Fluttershy, you don’t have to come back with us.”

“Well I for one am,” Rarity said. “I don’t know what exactly was happening in Los Angeles, but from the looks of it whoever is in charge there should learn some manners.” Kavanaugh gave her a quizzical look. “Also those outfits are just so inspiring.”

“Well shoot, reckon I’d better go along too,” Applejack said. “Seeing as we won’t need to be liars anymore. Plus, someone’s gotta keep Ms. Fancy-Pants focused on what needs doin’.”

“I’m in!” Rainbow jumped up in her chair waving excitedly. “I’ve gotta go back and prove I’m not hypnotized!” Garcia and Belenko both facepalmed.

Campbell laughed to himself as he turned to Twilight. “Your decision, lass.”

Twilight sat quietly, feeling everyone’s eyes staring at her. She flashed back to the Lucky Cat, and Magnolia, and the country road in the Empire. Taking a breath, she shook her head. “No, I’m not ready to go back again.”

Campbell nodded. “Very well. Sunset, see that they’re taken care of before we proceed.” He gave Sunset a warm smile, and Sunset returned the same. No hard feelings. “Now, sergeant, I need you to go back to Hell Brigade, get our team Turcottes and enough ammunition as we can fit into the LCSS. We’ll also need nine USB storage devices, minimum two terabytes.” Weber nodded, tapping Ricci and Gantz and leading them to the door.

Alice looked confused. “Storage devices? Storage devices for what sir?”

Campbell grinned.

“Incoming dimensional activation, MV-3 IDC.”  Korra and Bolin stood in the center of the gateroom, smiling as Carter came to greet them.

“Hey Sam,” Bolin said, waving. “What’s going on whaaaaaaat is that behind us?”

Carter chuckled as the two stared at the still-shining white device. “It’s a new means to explore the multiverse.” She didn’t admit that it was designed by two young boys. She could only take so much at once. “How’re things in Republic City?”

“Great, Asami’s donations are really helping the city recover. The UPF has more soup kitchens, job training centers, and people are finally starting to move out of the slums.” Korra smiled as Carter led them into the facility. “She’s having a lot less trouble sleeping too.”

“Glad to hear it Korra. What about Varrick, no more trouble from him?”

Bolin cringed. “He’s kinda in a slump right now. Haven’t seen him this bad since Zhu Li stuck with Kuvira over him.” There was an awkward pause. “His company’s still working though.”

“Anyway,” Korra said, quickly taking the conversation back. “Pres. Raiko asked us to talk to some of your lawyers about any kind of precedent for Kuvira, her trial’s gonna be in a few months and he wants to make sure there aren’t any loopholes she can use.”

“We can put you in contact with some of our JAG officers, we’ve had several trials in our history regarding individuals like Kuvira.”

Korra looked confused. “Your whats?”

“Military lawyers, they’ll explain when we meet them.” Walking out, Carter saw Twilight and Fluttershy walking over. “Girls, hey. You both okay?”

“We’re fine,” Twilight said, Fluttershy looking away from them. “What are you both doing here?”

“Boring law stuff,” Bolin groaned. “You?”

“We’re heading back to CHS,” Twilight said. “Things are getting a little too intense right now. We both decided it’d be better if we stay out of the way when the fighting starts.”

Korra grinned. “Oh, I can help you with that.”

Twilight blinked. “You can?”

Carter did the same. “You can?”

“Well you just need some training is all,” Korra said. “You can come to Republic City if you want, or I can come to you if that’s easier.”

Twilight thought for a second. “You’re sure you wouldn’t mind?”

“Well nothing’s happened so far thanks to Tenzin and the airbenders,” Korra said, looking thankful. “What do you say?”

Twilight bit her knuckles. “Korra is more experienced as a fighter. Maybe she can help? I froze twice, and if I’m not there when the others need me…” Twilight looked up, her gaze suddenly steely. “I’ll take whatever help you can give me.”

Korra clapped her hands. “Great, how about I come to your dimension and start you off there.”

Twilight smiled, not noticing the horrified look Fluttershy was giving her. “That’d be great Korra. Thank you.”

The platoon was lined up, Campbell putting a single drive in every other hand. “You’ll split watching between nine groups and will have six days starting now to go through, catalogue, and memorize as much media as we have in these drives. I want every character trait, every action, every habit noted and marked. Mark down all antagonists and potential allies. Make sure to observe the culture of each region, and primarily the actions of the primary characters in them.” He turned to glare at the other two teams. “Do the same. Mark down everything, as outsiders this will be your first time watching these shows and movies. You’ll be the perfect individuals to tell us what you notice that we might still miss.” Looking between the two teams, he paused. “Supplies?”

Weber patted the small mountain of sodas, snacks, deli platters, and microwave dinners. “Ready sir.”

“Notes?” His team held up notepads and pens. Nodding, he turned to the other two teams. “Let’s get to watching.” The groups split off, the Canterlot Seven and Section III going with their respective “guides”.

Alice didn’t know what was more disturbing: The ability of Garcia and Belenko to almost instantly know what was going to happen in each moving picture, their ability to instantly sing along with every song that came on, or the fact that they could manage to perform exact and instant choreography to the songs as well. They “rapped”, they sang, they danced like lunatics. They cried at a talking automobile crashing in a race, and then looked triumphant as another helped the crashed one across a finish line. She tried to look to Rainbow for help, but Rainbow was bouncing about as the two went on.

“Back in the desert they were absolute professionals, almost like they were Section I.” Alice watched as Belenko clapped watching the picture end with the red auto speeding off after a light blue one. “Now they’re acting like children? What kind of power does this Disney have?”

“Wow, these movies are all so good,” Rainbow cried out. “And those shows? Man, that one with the cars in that crazy city is awesome!”

“And tells us another piece of the puzzle,” Belenko said, scribbling down the information she could glean from cars. “Ma’am, did you notice anything worth remembering from this movie?”

Alice fumbled with her notes for a second, trying to reread what she’d written down. “Well if the autos can talk, they can be negotiated with for sure. And that green one, with all the stickers on him, he’s obviously not worth trusting?” Looking up, she saw Garcia and Belenko both share a look before checking the time. “What?”

“It’s been four hours since our last break,” Garcia said, standing and stretching out. Walking over to the fridge in the room, he smiled as he pulled out some Bagel Bites. “A miniature pizza, on this sort of bread. Amazing.” Alice nearly hurled. Even if she was used to richer foods than most, what passed for a meal in SG-1’s home universe often made her feel like she had a lead weight in her gut.

Stepping out of the room for a moment, Alice checked the hall. A pair of airmen were walking away from her, both of them looking over their shoulders at her like she was nuts. Cringing as she turned away, she saw Martis and Oreldo step out from their rooms. Both of them looked just as confused as she did, Martis slumping against the wall as Oreldo kept staring ahead at nothing. “Singing and dancing?” Both men nodded.

Randel didn’t share their attitudes as she shuffled out of the room he’d been in. He was humming as he walked, mumbling “Can you picture that” to himself.

“This is nuts,” Oreldo whispered. “They’re all going on and on with these crazy looking moving pictures, I mean Sgt. Weber’s almost trying to press herself through the screen!”

“At least you’re not watching shows with talking animals,” Martis groaned. “I mean they’re piloting aircraft, or running whole cities! How does a sheep run a city?!”

Alice rubbed at her eyes, desperately needing time to shut herself off from the world and take some time to process everything she’d seen. “What about you corporal, what have you been watching?”

“These funny movies with puppets,” Randel said with a wide smile. “They sing and dance, and they’re pretty clever with their jokes. I never thought I'd laugh at a rat! The kids back in the Empire would love them.”

“I’m sure they would corporal,” Alice said. For her taste the movies and shows were too happy. Compared to the stories her grandfather had told her when she was young, there was too much emphasis on a “happy ending” with Disney compared to stories like The Miller’s Wife or The Knight and the Beggar.

“There’s still five days worth of this,” Oreldo said. “Lieutenant, we’re not really gonna sit through all this right?”

“We are,” Alice said, steeling herself. “Capt. Campbell has overall command, and he’s ordered us to watch and learn. I’m sure that MV-7 are feeling the same way.”

One of the doors slammed open, Pinkie skipping out. “Told you!”

Lee and Baker were both laughing. “I knew I was right, she was able to join in the second was started dancing and singing.” Lee held out a hand, Baker chuckling as he handed over a green soda can with a 7 emblazoned on it. “Oh, morning ma’am. How goes it?”

Alice sighed.

Kane looked over the reports. “And you’re sure that these were internal as well?”

“Yes brother,” Enoch said. “Our observation team has noted that there are at minimum three active signatures at the present time.”

Kane nodded. “You’ve all done well. Ensure that this world is marked. Expand our operations to also search out similar cases through the multiverse. I want all incidents brought to me the minute they’re uncovered.” Kane read over the report carefully, making his own notes on the file. “Who compiled this information?”

“Initiate Sarah,” Enoch said. “She was one of those who escaped with us from Sarajevo, recruited shortly after the meteor's landing on the Tiber.”

Kane nodded. “She does excellent work. Keep track of her progress, she may prove her worth is beyond that of a mere initiate.” Bowing, Enoch left Kane to his thoughts. As the door shut, Kane looked over the files and scribbled into the margins: “Make note of chronal-signatures”.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16: Danberg

It took three hours of coordinating, but eventually the team re-emerged into “U-1923-W”, specifically the backyard of the Flynn-Fletcher house and seeing that once more they didn’t match. The girls all looked like they were from a grad of CalArts, Section III looked like they came from an anime, and Campbell’s platoon looked the same as they always had. Motioning for everyone to keep quiet, Campbell edged to the kitchen window and peeked inside. The only sign that anyone was in the house were the kicking legs of Candace over the edge of the couch. “Well there she is but where are -- ”

“Hey Capt. Campbell.”

Campbell barely held back a yelp, smiling as he turned to see Phineas and Ferb standing at the back door of the house. “Boys! Good to see you both. How’d you -- ”

“We knew you’d be back soon enough,” Phineas said. “So Ferb and I built a small dimensional tracker that would tell us if there were any new arrivals.”

“Isn’t that rather specific to make?”

“Yes, yes it is.”

Campbell nodded. “Your parents are out?”

“Yep. Our mom is kinda disappointed though, we had to tell her you all had something to do that meant the documentary had to be put on hold.”

Durand looked excited. “Do you still have the equipment we were using?” Ferb nodded. “We can finish it today.”

“Awesome! Mom’s gonna love it.”

Campbell nodded. “The rest of us will be taking care of something else in the city, Phineas. Can we borrow Perry for a time?”

Phineas looked confused. “Sure, but why do you need Perry?”

Campbell blinked. “Oh, well, a platypus is actually a very key component to several magical rituals. Isn’t that right Sunset?”

The girl nodded. “Oh, uh, well there’s so many I can’t even begin to list them!” Applejack twitched.

Phineas nodded. “Well, I can’t say we know a lot about magic. Personally, Ferb and I have always been more focused on the physical sciences, metaphysics isn’t something we’re ready to dive into. Maybe after high school. We’ll get you Perry’s carrier, just hold on a second.”

Campbell nodded, counting down in his head. “Five…four…three…two…one…”

A panicked Candace Flynn appeared in the backdoor, staring out at the group. Campbell smiled and waved. “Morning Candace, how’re you?” The girl stared for a second before grabbing for her phone. “Rainbow, can you grab that please?” Before Candace could finish dialing a rainbow blur snatched the phone out of her hand and placed it into Campbell’s. “Thank you. Now Candace, you need to listen to us. You cannot bust your brothers.”

Candace blinked. “How’d you know I was gonna try to bust them?”

“Because it’s what you always do,” Campbell said, rolling his eyes. “And every time you try to bust them the proof always either disappears or gets destroyed or you wind up being a part of it all. So for today, why not just give it a break?”

Candace’s eyes narrowed. “And why should I believe you?” Without missing half-a-beat Campbell pulled from his pocket a wad of bills. Candace blinked, asking, “What’s this?”

“Oh, enough for you to spend an entire day away from your brothers and Jeremy’s little sister.” Campbell grinned. “If you can handle it.”

Candace glanced at the money nervously. “How do I know I can trust you?”

“We’re not interested in your brothers,” Sunset said, smiling as she walked up. “They’re smart kids, and they can help us. All we want to do is set a lot of wrong things right.”

Candace shook her head. “No, I can’t trust you though! I mean Phineas said you just appeared from a portal, that doesn’t mean you’re someone trustworthy.”

Sunset held out her hand. “Then let me show you.” Candace blinked, but taking Sunset’s hand saw all the good that the MVTF had done. Sunset did her best to leave out the life-threatening parts. Pulling away, Candace spent a moment staring into space before snatching the money and her phone from Campbell’s hands. “So you trust us?”

“I’m just taking this as payment for the therapy I’m gonna need.” Spinning around, Candace walked back into the house and flopped facedown onto the couch as Phineas and Ferb walked out with Perry in his crate.

“Thank you lads,” Campbell said. “Durand, take the ones who were here with you last time and finish the interview then? The rest of us will be going to have a talk with someone.”

Durand nodded. “Did you both keep our equipment ready for us?” Phineas nodded to the garage. “Perfect, we’ll set up now. Boys, do you think you can help us make this documentary?”

“Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today!” The platoon nearly squealed at hearing Phineas say those words.

Watching as Durand, Pinkie, Schneider, and Russo went to the house, Alice looked to Campbell. “What about us sir?”

“Doofenshmirtz,” Campbell said, leading the way out of the backyard. “We need to confront him, the OWCA can be our first real in with the US government here.”

Martis shook his head. “So how do we get to him? Won’t he be well-defended?”

Heinz Doofenshmirtz lounged in his sofa, idly flipping through the channels and finding nothing to watch. “Ruler of the Tri-State area and still the same boring garbage. You know I should write about that in next week’s column.”

Norm called out from the kitchen. “I’m sure they’ll publish whatever you send them!”

Doof glared back at the kitchen. “There’s no need to be sarcastic you.”

It was a knock on the door that perked him up, Norm’s heavy footsteps sounding through the lab. “I’ll get it. Hello, can I help -- ” There was a crash, and pieces of the robot went flying through the room. “There are some visitors for you at the door sir!”

Peering over the edge of his couch, Doof watched as a large group spread out into his lab. They were an intimidating bunch, men and women with weapons storming the room as a giant of a man carried a cage in his hands. A man's voice called out, “Heinz Doofenshmirtz!”

Doof tried to make himself invisible, not realizing his hair was still sticking up above the couch. “He’s not here,” he said, trying to deepen his voice. “He’s out with his wife.”

“We know you’re divorced Doofenhmirtz,” the man called out. “Get out here.”

Campbell watched as Doof poked his head up from behind the couch, looking nervous as he watched the team surround him. Several of them grabbed the pieces of Norm, tying them down with spare chains and cords scattered around the lab. With Norm secured, Campbell slung his SMG and walked to the couch. Still keeping his American accent, he glared down at Doof. “So, you’re Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz?” Doof nodded. “Glorious and Beneficent leader of the Tri-State Area?” Another nod. “Proud Son of Drusselstein?” A third nod. “How’d you get elected mayor?”

“Special election,” Doof said flatly. “After I finally humiliated my brother Roger I put my name on the ballot and they elected me. Then I realized the whole thing was a hassle and I decided to make the position a more ceremonial role.”

Campbell nodded. “And Perry the Platypus didn’t stop you?”

“Oh he tried,” Doof said, putting his elbows up on the edge of the couch. “See, I had just finished my latest creation, the DUMB-INATOR!”

Campbell blinked. “The what?”

“The DUMB-INATOR!”

He turned to the rest of the platoon, who were also staring at Doof in shock. “That’s…that’s rather adult.”

Doof blinked. “Wait, wait you think, oh come on! Dumb-inator, dumb! D-U-M-B!”

Campbell sighed. “Oooh, ‘DUMB’, not ‘DOM’, got it.”

“Yeah, I know, my accent is still pretty thick.” Doof shrugged. “So who are you guys anyway, I’ve never seen the OWCA use human agents in the field -- ” Campbell raised his SMG. “Okay point taken. Well a few months ago I was fighting with Perry the Platypus, I’m guessing you know how it goes.”

“He was kicking your butt.”

“He was kicking my butt. Well, the fight went bad for me, but then I stumbled into the side of the Dumb-inator and it fired on him!” Doof stood proudly on the couch, holding a hand out at the device. “Take a look for yourself! I even have Perry’s fedora next to it to remind me of when I finally beat him!”

Campbell looked over at the device. It was a typical Doofenshmirtz creation, oversized with panels and access points where they probably weren’t even needed. There was a coil on the front of it ending in a top-load capacitor, the point where the “dumb” was fired out of the device with Perry’s fedora hanging off it. Along the left side were four large buttons; one green, one yellow, one blue, and one brown. “You didn’t label these buttons.”

Doof rolled his eyes. “Well of course I didn’t, it’s obvious what does what.”

Campbell grinned. “Really? Well why don’t you prove it.”

Doof looked incensed. “Fine, I will. See this is why the OWCA is just so full of themselves, their people don’t even know how an inator works!” As Doof tapped at one of the control panels, Campbell motioned for Randel to place the cage in front of the device. “Now modulating the power is the only tricky part. See, these four buttons do the work. The power, the Dumb Ray, the Reverse Ray, and the Self-Destruct.”

Campbell nodded, playing at being impressed as Randel nervously got close to the now-charging machine. The whine was growing as power surged through it, and the giant tried to keep himself as far away as possible while keeping Perry’s cage in front of it. “And which one is the reverse?”

“Oh, it’s this blue one right here -- ” Doof was slammed into the floor as Campbell slammed his fist down on the blue button. There was a bright green flash, and for a second everyone in the room was blinded. Blinking the lights away, Campbell saw the room was suddenly filled with mist. The only thing he could see was the fedora hanging off the front of the inator. A fedora that was snatched by a green claw, followed by a growl.

Doof rose out of the mist coughing. “Geez, what was that? I show you how my inator works and you just -- ” The doctor was cut off by a webbed foot to the face, and as the mist cleared the MV teams looked down on the sight of a serious looking platypus in a fedora. Vogt’s face was alight as the creature turned and grinned at them all.

“Ugh, what?” Doof blinked. “Perry the Platypus!” Jumping up, Doof glared down on the semi-aquatic mammal. “No matter! I already beat you once with the DUMB-INATOR, and -- ” Campbell unloaded a clip into the device, the machine sparking and arcing power before unleashing a cloud of thick smoke. “Or not.”

Alice stared at the sight in disbelief. Campbell walked up to the creature that had managed to put the “doctor” in an arm-bar, kneeling down to shake the thing’s claws. “Pleasure to meet you Agent P.” A growl. “It’s a long story, involving dimensional travel.” Another growl. “No, but we think this may be a similar situation to the one you’ve already been involved in.” The creature nodded, Vogt watching like a child seeing their hero for the first time in person. “Do you think that we can speak to Maj. Monogram then?” The creature nodded. “Perfect. Now, to make sure Doofenshmirtz can’t cause any trouble for a bit. Lieutenant, Sunset, Agent P will escort you downstairs. We’ll be there when we finish up.” Swapping a fresh magazine in, Campbell grinned at the lab as he picked up Norm’s head and tossed it to Doof. “Shouldn’t take us more than ten minutes.”

As the door shut behind them all, the sounds of gunfire erupted. Norm's head asked, “Sir, did you remember to take out insurance for this?”

“You know, I actually didn’t?” Perry growled. “Oh sure, blame the mad scientists for being more worried about his arch-nemesis than random gun-toting agents.”

The team arrived back into Phineas and Ferb’s neighborhood in time to see Buford, Baljeet, and Isabella’s troop helping to film the “documentary” on Linda. Durand stood in the middle of it all, Phineas standing next to him and calling out what to do. Occasionally he looked up at Durand, who gave a nod or a smile. Pinkie was setting up a light when she saw Campbell leading the way back, the restored Perry still in his crate. “Hey guys! How’d it go?”

“Well we just saw a platypus fight a grown man after I punched a robot to pieces.” Applejack shrugged. “So I guess it all went okay?”

“That’s so cool!” Pinkie giggled. “We’re about to shoot the final scene for the documentary here. What happens when we’re done?”

“Perry here will put us in contact with the OWCA,” Campbell said, holding up the crate. “It’s alright, she’s with us.” Perry growled, and jumped out when Campbell opened the door. Keeping his cover, the green-furred agent padded up to the house where Linda was talking about life after her time as Lindana. Durand called cut, and as the group watched Linda told Phineas and Ferb to put Perry in the back. The boys quickly did so, but Alice finally spoke up in confusion. “Sir, what happens now?”

Campbell held up five fingers and slowly counted down. Before Alice could understand the street seemed to drop out from under them. Everyone except 1^st Platoon screamed in terror, until they landed into a brightly-lit hangar with several devices and craft like she’d expect to find from the SGC. The platypus creature sat facing them, a man with close-cut gray hair and a massive mustache staring at them from a viewscreen.

“Ah, these must be the people who aided you Agent P,” the man said, wearing a simple uniform with two large purple Ms on his right breast. “Greetings agents, I’m Maj. Monogram.” A young man with thick glasses and curly red hair poked his head into the screen. “And this is our intern, Carl.”

“Major,” Campbell said politely. “Capt. Campbell, Multiversal Task Force. This is Lt. Malvin and Sunset Shimmer.”

“A pleasure,” Monogram said. “We can’t thank you all enough for your efforts in returning Agent P, we’d nearly considered him lost after his last encounter with Doofenshmirtz.”

“It was our pleasure sir,” Campbell said cheerily. “We consider it a privilege to work alongside the OWCA.”

“Be that as it may, your arrival has set certain parties on-edge.”

“That’s fine sir, we’ll be more than happy to speak to these parties ourselves in a location of their choosing. Tomorrow of course, some of ours are helping Phineas and Ferb with a project.”

“Very well,” Monogram said. At that second a piece of metal ductwork slammed into the floor, the clang echoing through the hangar. “Sorry, no one’s really been here since Agent P was stopped and the maintenance is a little…”

Carl spoke up. “It’s a dump.”

“Don’t embarrass me in front of the dimensional travelers Carl!”

Campbell smiled. “If it’d help sir, I think we can assist in getting the facility functional again.” Looking to Weber and getting a nod, he snapped his fingers.

The platoon spread through the room, raiding a custodian’s closet and setting to work. Becker, Gantz, Russo, and Ricci started sweeping as Lee and Baker mopped up behind them. Belenko and Lisowski went to work tightening screws and putting wires back into place as Vogt and Scholz carried the fallen ductwork back into place. Van der Burgh grabbed a rag and started dusting off several consoles as Brodeur went to sanding down anything that stuck out of place. All of them had a smile on their faces, even dancing a little as they straightened up the place. The whole thing was perfectly synchronized, as if there was a backing track Alice could almost hear --

Alice blinked, the music was real. Looking over, she saw the platypus had pressed a button on a kind of miniaturized phonograph with a smile on his face. Sunset laughed. “C’mon girls, let’s help out.” Leading the way, the CHS students grabbed their own cleaning gear and set to helping out.

“We’ll be ready to travel to Washington by tomorrow sir,” Campbell said. “Thank you for letting us help.”

Carl grinned. “Oh, they’re good sir.”

“No one likes a brown-nose Carl.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 17: Washington DC

Alice was gripping her seat, and she saw her team doing the same as Agent P flew them cross-country to the capital of this United States. It had been one thing flying across the waters of Fiore to Magnolia on Christina, but this was an enclosed metal beast that she could feel the speed of in her body. Even the flight to the capital of SG-1’s home felt comfortable and calm compared to the speed they were moving at in the creation of this universe. Somehow everyone treated this as perfectly normal, like it was just another fact of life.

Maj. Monogram spoke to them all from a video screen inside the cabin. “You’ll be flown to the outskirts of Washington, and driven into the city under escort. The supervisor of our clandestine operations has decided that it be best you brief the president directly regarding what happened and your purpose for being here.”

Campbell nodded. “Understood sir, I presume Pres. Martinez has already been given an initial briefing on what’s happened then?”

“Indeed captain. You’ll meet him in the White House, and from there explain what you know.”

“That is going to be a very interesting conversation,” Campbell thought. “Understood sir, we’ll be prepared when we arrive.” The screen flicked off, and Campbell looked over his seat to Sunset and Alice. “Now let me handle the talking for a time. Sunset, I need you to sense the emotions of everyone important in the room. Think you can do that?”

“I probably can, but I’m shutting it off if things get too weird.”

Campbell nodded. “Lieutenant, I need you to remember everything that happens. Make note of who’s talking to who, any pieces of conversation you can remember.”

Alice tried to keep the fear out of her voice. “Of course sir, whatever you order.”

Agent P growled over the intercom, and soon Alice felt the aircraft angle in for descent. Gripping her seat, Alice silently prayed that the terror would end soon and that she could walk on solid ground again. Hurrying out of the aircraft as soon as Campbell led the way, Alice took a long breath of fresh air and scanned around where they’d landed. It was a flat stretch of ground, massive hangars in the distance clustered around a long strip of road. A trio of men in the same uniforms as she’d seen in the SGC ran up, all of them armed. “Capt. Campbell?”

“Aye!”

“Welcome to Andrews sir, we’re here to get you to your transport to the White House.”

“My team?”

“They’ll be here until you return.”

Alice shuddered at a sudden roar out of nowhere, ducking down and scanning the area without any idea of what could have possibly made such a noise. Campbell took hold of Alice’s shoulder, recognizing it as a jet taking off, and led her forward following the men. “You were told they’re armed?”

“As long as they remain on base and keep their weapons unloaded sir, they’re fine.” The men led the trio to a trio of black vehicles, a little sleeker than the angular “Humvees” posted outside the mountain. “You’ll be escorted to the White House, OWCA agreed that you needed to brief the president directly. Your weapons will need to be turned in to the Secret Service but they will be returned once the briefing is finished.”

Settling into the vehicle, Alice noted the interior was more comfortable compared to the sparse interiors of the ones she’d ridden to Syndrome’s headquarters in. The cushioned seats were welcoming, but as she got inside she noticed that the two suited individuals in the front kept glancing into the rearview mirror at them with harsh glares.

The drive from the airbase to the capital was short enough, though Alice marveled at the infrastructure of the nation. The multi-lane paved highways were astounding, the idea that you could have roads wide enough to facilitate eight cars on the same route for miles of road. Not just that, but the number of cars that would be implied to require such infrastructure in the first place meant that the power held in the capital was so much that the traffic necessitated such construction. Washington DC itself was little different from what she remembered; three were still the monuments to America’s past leaders and the Capitol Building standing proudly in the pre-dawn skyline. The red lights of the Washington Monument, like two watchful red eyes warning away anyone who might attack such a nation, blinked in the skyline.

Moving through the near-empty streets, Alice held back a gasp as they approached the White House. It was odd, that the most powerful man in such a nation would live in such a small mansion. Compared to the Emperor’s massive palace it was more like one of her family’s summer retreats, and only two wings at that. Still, it was the presidential residence, and Alice could feel the fact that in this building there was the power to do nearly anything.

The trio of vehicles pulled up to a gate manned by a uniformed guard, and on passing Alice saw two men standing a post before the door. They were resplendently dressed; white caps with polished black brims, a gold emblem pinned in the center of a globe and anchor with a roc atop with wings outstretched. One must have ranked higher than the other, his sleeves had three lines above a pair of crossed rifles while the other only had two lines. Their blouses were black with red trim, their trousers pure white. Even in the dim light of the lamps outside, their shoes shone with such immaculate shine that as Alice got out she was astounded at their adherence to such standards.

Turning their weapons over to a pair of plain-clothes guards, Alice followed Campbell into the building. The pair of guards opened the doors for them, and as Alice walked in she was impressed. The American government clearly understood that their leaders deserved fine things, such a practical nation wouldn’t waste money on a mansion with such masterfully crafted interior decorations as she saw if there was need of money elsewhere. Following their suited escorts, she was surprised as the mansion opened into an office. Staff in suits fielded call after call on the “telephone” or worked on the gray boxes called “computers”, and after a sweep with some kind of small black wand over their bodies the trio were led into the office of the president.

Alice blinked. Unlike the Emperor’s hall, it was literally just an office. The only sign of authority was the carpet with the presidential seal emblazoned on it, the rest of the room reminded her of her father’s study. Small bookshelves with personal favorites; a statue of a horseman on a bucking steed; two simple couches with a television in the center; portraits of previous leaders of the United States looking down on the office from the walls. The center of the room was an ornate desk, emblazoned with the presidential seal on the front with a small metal plaque above it. She didn’t have time to read it before the door opened.

The man who walked in was dressed in a fine suit with a well-done hairstyle, a small pin on his lapel of the American flag. “Good morning everyone, glad to have you all with us here today.” Alice saw Campbell smiling as the man walked in, but that smile vanished as a group of other man walked in behind him.

One was bald with a thick mustache and looked like her was a moving drawing, a “cartoon”. One was a man, but with a dead-serious look on his face glaring at the three like they were dangers. One looked like he was a kind of cartoon made with a different style, aged with wrinkles and an exhausted stare. Maj. Monogram walked in, a dour expression on his face. Finally, there was...

Alice gaped at a blue-fathered eagle that walked in, nodding and harrumphing as he went. The men in the suits deferentially parted for him, treating him as a superior. “Good morning Mr. President.”

“Well, we’re all here so let’s get started.” Still smiling, the president sat down behind the desk. Campbell remained standing, doing his best to put a smile back on. “Let’s just start with introductions then. I’m Richard Martinez.” The man paused and looked to the side. “President of the United States!” Alice blinked, and saw the same confused expression on Sunset. No one else seemed to take the entire thing as any different from another day. “Now, I understand you all have a few things to answer for.”

“We are sorry for the confusion sir,” Campbell said. “We’re representatives of what we've titled the Multiversal Task Force. I’m Capt. William Campbell, team leader MV-4, Sunset Shimmer is lead for MV-7, and Lt. Alice Malvin for MV-9.”

The blue eagle harrumphed. “And we’re to understand that this team is not wholly American?”

“It is American led, Mr. Eagle,” Campbell said. “In fact there are several Americas across the multiverse working together on the task force.”

“Ah, to be expected then.”

Campbell turned to Pres. Martinez. “We are sorry for the unintentional intrusion sir, we would have contacted your government earlier if it weren’t for our being scattered.”

“No, no problem at all,” Martinez said, looking over to Monogram. “If it hadn’t been for you the OWCA would still be disbanded. With them back we can begin moving forward.”

Alice felt an ice-cold pin at the base of her neck just as the door opened. A man strode in with close-cropped brown hair hanging off in the back in a ponytail. He had dark brown eyes and a goatee on his face, and his clothes were more casual than the others. A jacket and slacks without a tie, and a broad smile plastered across his face. “Sorry I’m late Mr. President. Even with your own helicopter, traffic is still a pain.”

“David!” Pres. Martinez nearly leapt up from his desk and went to shake the man’s hand. “Perfect timing actually, we were just getting to the meat of the matter.” Motioning for David to take a seat, Pres. Martinez went back to his desk and nodded for Campbell to continue.

“As I was saying sir,” Campbell said, maintaining his composure. “We are sorry for our arrival, but we do also think we can offer you help. We’ve already shown ourselves capable of assisting against one issue.”

The sneering man nodded. “Yes, your work against an incompetent mad scientist was a great help.”

Campbell nodded. “Aye, Doofenshmirtz is an incompetent. He’s also been running roughshod for too long.” He turned and stared at the assembled group. “Which means things are so bad that the rest of you literally couldn’t spare any resources to stop him.” The suited men all shared a look with each other, Alice noticing the older one grinning. “Aye, the problem is that there’s so many problems you all don’t know which way to look.”

“Yes, well, we have been trying to organize our actions a little more effectively.” Pres. Martinez looked slightly flustered as he spoke. “But we can promise you that we are trying.”

The man with the thick mustache spoke up. “What you need to understand is that our efforts are heavily divided right now. Between Hawaii, the Midwest, and Oregon our personnel are barely able to keep tabs on everything that’s happened.”

Campbell looked to Xanatos. “And you?”

“The president and I have discussed at length the threat of the gargoyles in New York,” Xanatos said. “As the one who brought them here, it’s only right that I take the lead in putting them down.”

Campbell nodded. “Well I must say that as a proud son of Scotland, I am offended that you wanted to remove part of my homeland in the first place. Looking past that gentlemen, we can be the solution.” Starting to pace around the room, Campbell did his best to play up the idea that he was the one in control. “We know all about your situations. The alien incidents in Hawaii, the failure of operations in Oregon, the issues you’ve had with St. Canard, Cape Suzette. Even Zootopia.”

The men all glared at each other, the eagle speaking up. “And why do you think that we cannot rely on our own force to handle the problem, hm? We haven’t had a need of outside assistance yet, and I for one see no reason to ask for any now.”

“Oh aye, you’ve done well at holding back the tide for now.” Campbell glared down at the eagle, and Alice realized he was treating the entire conversation as if it were deadly serious. “Only the game’s changed. Now you have a method to finally break the stalemates without turning the nation into a warzone.” Turning back to the president, Campbell grinned. “Sir, your administration has a means to finally give your country back to the people it should serve as we accomplish our mission. There are several dimensional breaches we’ve tracked, and in exchange for allowing us to study and catalogue what’s happened we can solve these problems.”

Pres. Martinez looked taken aback. “No hang on, this is a very dangerous course of action you’re suggesting isn’t it? I can’t approve of a plan that would put my citizens in danger.”

“They’re already in danger sir,” Campbell said. “The Axiom is convincing the passengers that they’re playing a game armed with plasma weapons to hunt down anyone who threatens the status quo. Nevermind that Syndrome is killing supers whenever he gets the chance.” Alice noticed the older man’s face darken considerably. “And need I mention the situation in Oregon?” Campbell softened his tone and expression as he looked to the president. “Sir, your people are already under an incredible threat. All that matters now is whether or not you want to ignore the bleeding or try to staunch it.”

The room was silent as Pres. Martinez considered his options, until Xanatos spoke up. “If I may, Mr. President? Capt. Campbell is right, he does offer us a unique opportunity. Technically, these three people don’t exist. So how can we be held responsible for the actions of those who aren’t even real?”

Alice’s eyes narrowed. The man was slick, but not overtly slimy. He spoke with authority but not with condescension. Though the suited men glared at him she also noticed respect in their eyes. Pres. Martinez didn’t match that though, he looked more like a man torn between extremes debating which would end the suffering faster. Alice glanced at Sunset, but the girl’s face was blank as she took in the room.

Pres. Martinez looked up at Campbell with a sad gaze. “You understand that I don’t want anyone who’s innocent to be hurt.”

“We’re professionals sir,” Campbell said, boldly lying about Sunset. “The threats are our focus, civilians are who we want to help protect.”

Martinez nodded. “Let me speak with my department heads.”

Campbell nodded. “Sir.” Nodding to Alice and Sunset, Campbell led the way out of the Oval Office. With the door shut behind them, Campbell looked to Sunset. “Anything?”

“Those guys in suits were all bitter, the angry looking one was even ready to fight you. The eagle just felt like he was too proud to admit he needed help. But that Xanatos guy…” Sunset glanced back at the door. “It was like there was nothing there. No, more like there was a wall I couldn’t get over.”

“Makes sense,” Campbell said quietly. “He knows magic, wouldn’t surprise me if he put up some kind of barrier to make sure no one can peek inside.”

“No, that can’t just be it,” Alice said, taking Campbell by surprise. “He doesn’t know where you plan on starting, we need to wait until then to see what happens.”

Campbell thought and nodded. “Alright, keep an eye on him once we go back in. Good observation lieutenant.” Alice’s heart leapt at the first compliment she heard from anyone over her in the MVTF.

The door opened again after twenty minutes, and a Secret Service agent bid them in again. Alice saw that the majority of the men looked angry, but Pres. Martinez looked sad. “Captain, ladies, I’ve reached my decision. You’re right, we don’t have the resources available to our government to try and solve the problems we’re facing. My primary concern above all else is that innocent civilians are not caught up in this.”

“Perfectly understood sir,” Campbell said. “We already know where we’re going to begin. We need to start in New York City.” It was barely perceptible, but Alice saw it; Xanatos’ mouth twitched as Campbell spoke. “We believe we can assist in neutralizing the prevalence of organized crime in the city as well as finally ending the question on the creatures active within the city limits.”

“Preposterous,” the eagle said, slamming a wing on the table. “You’d be identified in seconds by your accent!”

Campbell smiled as he turned his voice into an American’s. “Actually I think we can blend in pretty effectively.” The eagle’s jaw dropped as Campbell turned to the president with his natural Scottish brogue. “With your permission sir, we can begin whenever you feel ready.”

Pres. Martinez took one last look around the room, but managed to put on a small smile. “Just please remember, it’s an election year.”

Campbell nodded. “Understood sir, we’ll ensure that the people of New York won’t be harmed.”

The eagle harrumphed. “Very well then. We’ll put you in a safehouse -- ”

“That won’t be necessary sir, we can find our own place easily.” Campbell grinned at Xanatos. “The last thing we need is for the Martinez administration to be any more directly associated with this situation.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Xanatos said. “Mr. President, I believe that to further distance yourself I can -- ”

“Also unnecessary sir,” Campbell said. Alice noticed another slight twitch in the man’s face. “The government of the United States we’re associated with has already given us enough counterfeit money to utilize.”

“Counterfeit.” Xanatos grinned. “Good luck eating anything.”

Grinning, Campbell pulled out a lacrima and pulled out an MRE to Xanatos’ surprise. “I think we’ll be fine sir.”

The meeting ended quickly after that, the government men (and eagle) harrumphing their way out of the room ahead of Campbell, Sunset, and Alice as Maj. Monogram stayed back to talk to some of the staff in the office outside. Tapping his head, Campbell waited a second before thinking. “Something’s off about Xanatos.”

Sunset’s annoyed expression said it all. “Something’s off about this whole dimension.”

“No, I mean he was surprised,” Campbell thought, following the Secret Service back through the White House. “This is a man who is never surprised. A man who, if we told him that we had a way to make him immortal, he’d tell us all the ways we got it wrong.”

Alice nodded. “Is there anyone else we can confirm this with?”

“Only one person,” Campbell said. “Quickly, before Xanatos gets there.”

Moving fast enough that the Secret Service had to speed up to get them through the mansion to the doors, Campbell saw the man he wanted to talk to standing in front of a luxury limo in a suit and tie with light, almost silvery blonde hair and a pair of glasses. He stared impassively at the White House, not caring about the stares coming at him from the Secret Service and Marines. With a broad grin, Campbell walked up and clapped the man on the shoulder. “Owen my man, good to see you.”

The man’s eyebrow rose. “And you are?”

“A man who knows much,” Campbell said. “And who has a puckish sense of humor.”

Owen’s eyes narrowed. “Do you?”

“Figured we should meet seeing as we’re coming to New York,” Campbell said cheerily. “Especially since Mr. Xanatos doesn’t seem to know much about what we’re capable of.”

Owen nodded. “Quite. Of course, Mr. Xanatos is a man with a great many things to focus on.”

“A great many,” Campbell said. “I’ve never seen him so surprised before.”

Owen didn’t react. “Mr. Xanatos is only surprised when he wants to be.”

Campbell nodded. “Understood. Well thank you sir, have a good day.” Leading Alice and Sunset away, he tapped on his head again. “That settles it, something is wrong with Xanatos.”

Sunset couldn’t hold back a sigh. “Okay, how do you know?”

“His own assistant admitted it,” Campbell said. “David Xanatos is never surprised.”

Alice blinked. “What does that mean?”

“It means that wasn’t David Xanatos we just spoke to.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 18: Canterlot High School, New York City

Korra whistled at the sight of the world before her. It was bright, sunny, with teenagers walking about before her. “So this is high school.” Several of the students looked up and her, and looking back Korra waved. They waved back and quickly went back to their business. “Huh. Guess it really isn’t that weird for them to see people traveling from other dimensions.” Walking toward the building, Korra went to a pair of girls chatting with each other. One had light green skin with hair to match, the other had light tan skin with pink and dark blue hair. “Hi, sorry but I’m looking for Twilight Sparkle?”

The green girl nodded. “She’s where she’d always be, in the science lab.”

“And where’s that?”

The tan girl spoke up. “Through the doors, down the hall, make a left, third on the right.” As Korra waved and walked on, she looked to her green friend. “Huh, what do you think?”

“Definitely not from Sunset’s dimension,” the green girl said. “She isn’t panicking or walking funny. Milkshakes are on you.”

Korra walked through the doors and gazed up at the atrium. Students still milled about, chatting and going to classes as the sun shone down through the skylight above. A trophy case stood proudly bearing the school’s achievements, with banners hanging down celebrating something in the same language she’d seen in the SGC.

“Can I help you?” Spinning around, Korra saw a woman with dark blue skin and hair, staring at her suspiciously.

“Oh, hi,” Korra said, waving awkwardly. “I’m Korra, with the MVTF?” The woman’s expression didn’t change. “You probably talked with Tenzin?”

That did it. “I know who you are, it’s the fact that you’re here at all. We didn’t get any word about any incoming travel from the SGC through the portal for the foreseeable future.”

“Oh, that’s because this isn’t quite official.” Korra’s grin vanished when she saw the glare coming her way. “What I mean is that Twilight wanted me to help her with training.” A beat. “Gen. Hammond said it would be okay.”

The woman shook her head. “Very well. I’m Vice-Principal Luna.”

Korra shook her hand. “Nice to meet you. So, I’m just gonna go to the science lab -- ”

“School policy is that visitors need an escort.” Luna motioned for Korra to come along. “The lab’s this way.”

Korra nodded, following Luna through the school. “So, nice place you got.”

“Thank you, but honestly it’s been a task lately trying to keep it all running. With everything that’s happened now that magic has to be factored in, let alone multiple dimensions, my sister and I have much to be concerned with.” Luna sighed. “We’re spending far more money on coffee than we normally would be after everything that's happened.”

Korra looked away, trying to avoid Luna’s annoyed gaze. “Well, it doesn’t hurt that you know the girls are doing some good things with the MVTF right?”

Luna’s eyes narrowed. “Given that Fluttershy came back looking traumatized, I must disagree.” Korra facepalmed. “Still, I will admit that I’m thankful Twilight is looking to train herself. Even if this mission makes Sunset decide to stop going out, they will be ready if anything tries to find them.” Korra pulled her hand away and smiled a little. “And here we are, the science lab. Hm.” Luna looked over the door. “That’s odd, the lights aren’t on.” Trying the door, her eyes narrowed. “And it’s locked? This isn’t like Twilight at all.”

“Let me try?” Korra stepped forward and reached out with her metal bending. Carefully moving her fingers, Korra could faintly feel the metal of the lock shift and shudder but not fully bend to her command. “Dang, it’s too refined.”

“Good thing I have the key then,” Luna said, pulling out a jangling ring of keys. Opening the door, her eyes narrowed. “She’s not in here.”

Korra started to grow uneasy, scanning the halls. “Where else would she be?”

“The computer lab, this way.” Hurrying through the halls, Luna opened the door and Korra saw a class in session. A class without a purple-haired girl in glasses. Stepping back out, Luna was growing more focused. “The cafeteria, she may have stopped in for a snack.” No luck there, the place was nearly empty as the lunch hour wrapped up. “This is serious, did she say where she would meet you?”

“No, she just said that she’d need my help.” Korra was starting to get worried. From Luna’s reactions, not being able to find Twilight at the school was a frightening thing. “Maybe she’s not here today?”

“Impossible, we made sure that their teachers knew to let us know if they came to school.” Luna thought carefully. “No one suspicious has been seen around the school either. If they’ve found a way to infiltrate the school without us knowing it we’re all in danger.”

Korra shook her head. “No, that can’t be possible. Kane’s a big grand gesture kinda guy right?”

“Only when he wants to make one.” Luna stormed from the cafeteria toward the front of the school, Korra trailing behind. Coming up to an office, Luna threw the door open as Celestia read over some paperwork. “Sister, we have a problem. Twilight isn’t in the building.”

Celestia looked up in shock. “You’re sure?”

“She’s not in the labs or the cafeteria,” Korra said, Luna looking slightly annoyed that the avatar was taking her job over. “I know she said for me to show up and help her train.”

Celestia’s eyebrow rose. “To train?” Korra nodded. “Neither of you thought to check the gym or the track?” Both women looked sheepishly at each other, and quickly left the office. Celestia gave a grin, then sighed and leaned back in her seat. Pausing, she slowly closed the drawer that had a pistol in it she’d opened when she heard someone at the door.

Finding the gym free of Twilight, the two hurried for the track to see a confused Twilight checking her watch. Sighing with relief, Luna nodded to Korra and went back into the school. Smiling, Korra walked over callilng, “Hey Twilight.”

Twilight looked up, wearing a pair of pants that swished with every step and brand-new shoes that still have the caps on the laces. “Korra! I’m so glad you could make it. This means Gen. Hammond is going to let us travel dimensions when we want to now?”

“Well technically this is to help train you,” Korra said, giving a shrug. “Alright, ready to start?”

Twilight pumped her fists. “Absolutely! What do we do first? Learning how to utilize magic? Better training our minds to react?”

Korra shook her head. “First we’re gonna run three laps.”

Twilight blinked as Korra started stretching out. “Run laps? How’s that gonna help?”

“We need to see where you are physically,” Korra said. “You came in as a researcher, but if you want to be able to fight you need to have physical ability.”

Twilight blinked. “Oh, right. I need to know what I can do.” She cringed as Korra finished stretching. “So how long will this be?”

“Long as I need to figure out where you are,” Korra said, smiling. “C’mon, three easy laps around the track.” Korra set off at an easy jog, barely breathing hard as she rounded the track. Her smile vanished when she saw Twilight barely halfway done her first lap. Slowing down, Korra watched as Twilight desperately tried to put on a burst of speed for five seconds before slowing even further. “Oh, this is gonna take some time.”

Hoping off the train into Penn Station, Campbell made a beeline to the nearest newsstand and grabbed a tourist’s guide to the city. “Okay, so now that we’re trying to get a handle on the fact that this dimension’s secrets are kept by a puppet,” Sunset grumbled. “What’s our plan for this city?”

“We’ll need a place to stay. Going anywhere too pricey might run us out of money and trying to find somewhere out of his control might take too long.” Flipping through the book until he found hotels, Campbell smiled as he paged through to the back. “If I’m right, there’s only one place worth staying at.”

“So long as we’re safe,” Alice said, watching the people in the station carefully. Many of them were staring at the group suspiciously, but while Alice felt nervous she couldn’t escape the fact that MV-4 were all smiling and laughing.

Campbell laughed. “Got it.” Shoving the book back onto the stand, he led the way out of the station. “We have the perfect place to stay. C’mon, it’s a walk so we’d best get moving.”

Running after Campbell, Sunset hurried next to him and scanned the city. In daylight, the place looked almost like any neighborhood in downtown Canterlot. Cars rolling to and fro through the streets; groups of people in masses on the sidewalks; shouts and sirens in the distance or speeding by. A mix of people who looked like they came from the SGC, and people who came from the Gargoyles cartoon Campbell showed her. “So, what exactly are we looking for?”

“The cheapest hotel we can find,” Campbell said. Eyes afire, he sped straight through Manhattan to the north. “We’re going to the Happiness Hotel.”

Alice blinked at the name. “The Happiness Hotel?”

“And it’s only five blocks from here.” Storming through an intersection (And not noticing Oreldo let out a yelp as a truck nearly ran him down) Campbell started to grin as they went north.

A half-hour later, the teams all stared up at a dilapidated, worn-out looking building. The massive steel letters on the front were rusting and hanging on by a few bolts and rivets, and two of the front windows were boarded up. Alice cringed. “This? This is the hotel?”

“It’s cheap, it’s out of the way, and it’s got the perfect group to help us survive.” Campbell turned to Randel. “Isn’t that right corporal?” Randel couldn’t answer, he was too busy smiling happily up at the building. “See? He agrees. C’mon, let’s check in.”

Walking inside was even worse as Alice took the place in. There was a clothes line with drying laundry hanging above the main room with a red, white, and blue flag hanging off of it that Lee and Baker paused to salute. Just walking across the floor kicked up dust, and the wood on the front desk was starting to rot. Alice thought it was an old man sleeping behind it, but she realized that he wasn’t a man when she noticed his skin was actually a kind of cloth. With a smile, Campbell strode up and rang the bell. The man snorted awake, and as Campbell nodded to his team waited for the creature to get his bearings. “Huh? What? What’re you folks all doing here? If you’re here for a racket you won’t find much. Unless we fire the bellhops.”

“Then you’ll be keeping your bellhops sir,” Campbell said. “We’re here to check in.”

“Check in?” Despite having no eyes, Alice watched as the thing’s expression went from confused to surprised. “Somebody’s checking in!” The doors to the rooms burst open, and to Alice’s shock dozens of similar creatures appeared. “Somebody’s checking in?!” The one behind the desk started to speak, but Campbell cut him off with a song.

Campbell: So there’s no fire in the fireplace

And no kitchen in the back!

Weber: But really all we need

Is just a place to hit the rack!

Baker: And the Union Jack’s presented

So it strikes us as quite swell

1^st Platoon: We’ll make a home

At Happiness Hotel!

The man looked up at Campbell. “How’re you all fixing to pay?”

Campbell grinned as he took out a large wad of bills supplied by the CIA. “All we have on us is cash.” Again, Alice couldn’t believe that a creature without eyes could be so expressive. “I take it no one’s paid cash for some time?”

“Last time a fella paid anything, eh, when did LaGuardia leave office?”

“Long time then!”

Belenko: We’ll carry our own luggage

But the bellhops still have luck

Scholz: We were gonna tip’em anyway

‘Cause the elevator’s stuck

Vogt: And we don’t mind friendly animals

They belong here as well

1^st Platoon: We’ll make our home

At Happiness Hotel!

Alice gasped. “Rats?! You’re telling us the bellhops are rats!”

The dog-thing on the piano nodded. “If you think that’s something you should see the chambermaids.” Alice felt the color drain from her face as more of the creatures emerged, several carrying instruments in-hand.

Muppets: Welcome home!

Welcome home!

Welcome home!

Welcome home!

No matter where you wander you will never do as well!

Becker and Gantz tap dance with Rizzo

Kavanaugh: The lobby’s really not that shabby

And we still found the address

Durand: And we use cash so who cares

For American Express

Brodeur: The management’s still cheerful

It’s a fine place we can dwell

1^st Platoon: We’ll make a home

At Happiness Hotel!

Randel laughed. “Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, you’re still here? How long between gigs?”

Alice stared as a creature with empty black eyes and orange hair nodded. “Well this latest stretch has been about five years, and look at the parts we’re taking now.”

Randel took the hands of a creature with a white sequined hat and green fur. “This is so amazing though, I can’t believe you’re here! And real!”

A blonde creature managed to look flattered. “Well that’s like, really sweet of you and all! I mean everyone kinda just puts us in the background unless they think they need us, so it’s totally nice you appreciate us!”

Alice jumped as the thing on the drums started going wild. “What’s wrong with that?”

A green creature with dark glasses spoke up. “He’s just disappointed that he couldn’t see the Bolshoi at the Met.”

“Rite of Spring! Rite of Spring!”

As the band played, Sunset snapped her fingers and tapped her feet. “Wow, they’re really good at making sure every instrument can have a chance to be heard.”

“And you’re all so energetic,” Pinkie shouted, bouncing about in front of the band. “What do you think Oreldo?” Oreldo tried to smile, but the sight of the creatures made it hard to remember that this was all real and happening before him. What made it worse was how easily Randel had gotten into the swing of things, dancing alongside a cat with an eyepatch and a red-headed stick of a thing with big bulging eyes dressed in a lab coat. Pinkie giggled. “I know, I’d be speechless too. This place is great!” Rarity nodded, snapping pictures as the band played their solos.

Rolf: There are bugs

Rats: There are bugs!

Rolf: And there are lice

Rats: There are lice!

Russo: Well you need to pay exterminators

Ricci: We’ll still pay full price

Applejack: Sure they got all kinds of critters

Rarity: And more than a few pests

Campbell: So we know we’ll fit in just as well

As any other guest!

Muppets: Sure you’re cleaner than the others

Still as far as we can tell

You’ll fit right in to Happiness Hotel!

1^st Platoon: We’ll fit right in! *Grabs MV-9*

All: To Happiness Hotel!

Rarity: Say cheese!

Before Alice could get ready Rarity took the picture, the entire group crushed together and her realizing the creatures were all made of felt. Smiling, Rarity gave a thumbs up as the platoon laughed along with the creatures. “Everyone,” Campbell said. “These are the Muppets. They’re some of the friendliest, felt-iest individuals we will probably meet here.”

One of the rats turned away in embarrassment. “Aw, you’re just saying that.”

Campbell chuckled. “Sergeant, take the luggage to the rooms. I’ll talk with our friends here.” Weber nodded, guiding the platoon and a shell-shocked Alice up the stairs. “So, where’s Kermit?” The Muppets suddenly looked uncomfortable, mumbling to each other as they looked away from Campbell. “What?”

Rizzo hurried out from the group. “I’ve got this one guys, it’s okay. Look, buddy, Kermit ain’t here anymore.”

Campbell’s face fell. “I see. Doc Hopper?”

Rizzo nodded. “Fozzie and Gonzo too. Fozzie went back to working the comedy circuit, but so far it’s been pretty rough on him. Gonzo…” Rizzo sniffed. “Well I’m not sure where he went. One day he was just gone.”

“Gone?” Campbell thought for a moment. “Must’ve been someone who doesn’t like strange looking beings.”

“Yeah, Sam left a little after that.” Rizzo sighed. “No one really knows where the big guys are.”

Campbell tried to fight the growing sadness in his heart. “Ms. Piggy?”

Rizzo scoffed. “Oh, yeah, she’s fine! Ms. High Fashion designed apparently is so well-off she doesn’t need us anymore!”

Campbell nodded. “Very well. Listen, if anyone asks for us?” He held out twenty extra. “We aren’t here.”

“Oh, yes sir, totally not here!” Chuckling diabolically, Rizzo hurried off to the other rats as Campbell climbed the stairs to rejoin the teams. His platoon was checking their weapons and equipment, Alice sitting on a bed staring at a wall trying to figure out why her life was like this now.

“Alright, everyone gather round,” Campbell said. Of course, the fact that the room was so cramped that all anyone could do was turn to face him didn’t matter. “We already know where we’re going to start. Being in New York, Becker and Gantz have already done the research we need to have a plan. Now it appears that here there are three major criminal enterprises. The largest, therefore the one most likely to work alongside whoever’s playing Xanatos, is the Sykes Syndicate. If we start to hobble their operations, we gain the attention of the fake.” He paused, looking over Van der Burgh. “Now considering that we’re in a Disney universe, we can’t afford any more harsh actions.”

Van der Burgh tried to look as innocent as possible. “I just wanted to protect Ms. Hamada sir, nothing more.”

Campbell facepalmed. Groaning, he paced what little space he could. “I know, you did what you needed to. The problem is that if we go doing anything like that again we’ll paint a giant target on all our backs. We don’t want to give Pres. Martinez a reason to throw us out, agreed?” The teams nodded. “Good. So, Van der Burgh?” The woman groaned. “Let me hear it?”

Van der Burgh sighed. “I won’t do anything brutal as long as we’re here unless you order me to.”

Campbell looked like a weight had been lifted. “Kavanaugh, I want you to take a team to the Lucky Cat, check on Ms. Hamada. Take any and all means to secure the building, understood?” Kavanaugh nodded. “Now, everyone settle in. We need to know what we’re about to do.”

Sunset and Alice shared a look with each other and their teams, Sunset speaking up, “What are we going to do?”

Campbell grinned. “Our homework.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 19: Three Weeks Later, New York

Mr. Mosbey sighed as he tried to organize the hotel calendar. The schedule of events for the next week was looking hectic enough, with the Ramirez bar mitzvah on Tuesday, the meeting of the Veterans of the Korean War on Thursday, and then the National Organization of Dentists on Friday. Even with his years of experience in hospitality management it was nearly driving him mad. It hadn’t helped that somehow “Karl Becker” had skipped on the bill. After destroying the room’s microwave.

“Excuse me?” Looking up, Moseby took a second when he saw a lantern-jawed face with close cropped brown hair looking down over the desk, unable to place where he came from with such a generic accent. “My friends and I were hoping to have dinner at the Tipton tonight, what floor is your restaurant on?”

Moseby quickly smiled. “Oh that’d be the third floor sir. Are you booked to stay?”

“No, not enough money for that sir,” Campbell said, nodding to a group of four behind him. “My friends and I were hoping to just spend a night out at a good place to eat.”

Moseby smiled his most professional smile. “Well you’re find no place better than the Tipton sir, our staff will be happy to accommodate whatever you need.”

“Thank you very much sir,” Campbell said. Nodding, he led Russo, Ricco, Durand, and Van der Burgh to the elevator. “Oh, also sir? If any gentlemen come here on more quiet business with the Tipton, can you direct them to join us? We have important matters to discuss with them.” Moseby’s smile cracked every so slightly, but it was enough to tell Campbell that tonight was a good night for a dinner out.

Leaving the elevator on the third floor, Campbell savored the smells coming from the room. It was a world away from the mess in the SGC, and the calm, warm light mixing with the wood surrounding them. A maître d stood behind a small podium; close-cut bright red hair visible as he looked up at Campbell. “Welcome to the Tipton Restaurant,” he said, sounding so bored that Campbell wondered if he’d rather be fired just to have something more interesting to do. “How many?”

“Five,” Campbell said. “We don’t have a reservation though, but we were hoping there was a table open?” The maître d just raised his eyebrow, and with a sigh Campbell dove into his pocket and pulled out four (fake) twenties. The maître d smiled, tucked the (fake) cash into his pocket and motioned for Campbell to follow.  Seating the five, the maître d smiled cordially at the group. “And my name is Patrick, if you can think of anything else you need, please don’t hesitate to tell me.” Grinning, Campbell held out another (fake) twenty and Patrick hurried on his way. Campbell swore he was nearly skipping.

“You’re having a time throwing those out, sir,” Durand said with a grin. “Did they give you an LCSS for those to?”

“Two actually,” Campbell said, reading over the menu and already feeling his mouth water. “Enough to get us through at least five months of bribery and coercion. Now, let’s see what they have for us.”

A half-hour later, Moseby was working at his desk when his bell rang. “Good evening, welcome to the Tip -- ” The rest of the words caught in his throat as three men in suits stood before his desk glaring at him.

“Evenin’ Marion,” the one in front said derisively, dressed in a cheap suit and speaking in a cigarette-flavored Brooklyn accent. “We’re here for the weekly collection.”

Moseby tried to smile. “Of course!” Grabbing under the desk, he held out a weighty manila envelope to them. “On time, like always.” The man grabbed the envelope from Moseby’s hands, but as he flinched he kept speaking. “By the way, were you expecting anyone?” He squeaked as the man turned to glare at him and quickly pointed upstairs. “They said they’d meet you upstairs in the restaurant, five of them.”

Campbell was savoring the taste of the beef wellington when he noticed Russo look up from his veal. “Here they come.”

Campbell heard the footsteps approach, a trio of men coming up behind him. “Shame, won’t be able to finish.”

“Hey jerk.” Holding back a laugh at the tame insult, Campbell enjoyed the last bit of his meal before turning to see three stereotypical gangsters glaring down at him. “You the one asking for us?”

Campbell didn’t bother turning around as he finished the food in his mouth, still keeping his neutral American accent. “I am, actually. We figured it was polite to make sure your bosses knew that their hold on the city is about to end.” There was a pause, Campbell already seeing it like it was part of the episode: The mobsters looking at each other in confusion and trying to figure out what he was saying, the canned laughter encouraging the viewer to laugh a little. Then…

“Can you say that again?”

“I said you’re through,” Campbell said, not even bothering to try for a threatening tone. He watched as the rest of his team for the night quickly finished their meals. He particularly liked the look of the fish Ricci was eating, the scent of lemon floating from his plate. “You’re not going to be skimming from the Tipton anymore.”

The man behind him laughed, though to Campbell it sounded more like rocks sliding down an embankment. “You don’t know who you’re talking to, do you?” Campbell shook his head and nodded to the four.

Campbell couldn’t resist. “What, did you forget?” The gangster sputtered for a second, and Campbell rose and turned to face the man with a smile. “Look, why don’t we talk about this outside then? No need to bring business like this out into the public eye.”

The mobsters saw that the other patrons were staring at them, and the one in charge nodded. No need to start a scene that would ruin their take for the next month. As they left, Campbell looked to Ricci and nodded. Leading the mobsters to the elevators, Campbell hit the button and waited. As the doors parted, they filed in. Campbell prayed as he walked in, and it paid off; the three obeyed elevator etiquette and faced the doors. Campbell gave another nod.

“And now we just whisper for a couple seconds and play them,” Ricci said in Italian. “How much would you put on them not knowing the language?”

“Nothing, it’s Disney,” Russo replied. “They designed these for American children. If they were Italian, I’d put more stock in the idea.”

“It’s organized crime though,” Ricci said. “In American minds for years that was the Same Thing, they might be able to speak some of it.”

One of the gangsters spoke up. “You jerks wanna knock off that whispering?”

“Sorry, he gets nervous in elevators,” Campbell said, still keeping his American accent. “He’s got a phobia.”

The thug blinked. “Phobia?”

“Oh, yeah, terrified of elevators.” A pause. “I mean it’s understandable right? Being stuck in a metal box only held by a few inch-thick cable.” Another pause. “I mean it’s always in use too, so even with inspections you have to worry about a part missed by the inspector. Just one second too soon and you find yourself plummeting straight down to the basement and wind up -- ”

“Okay, okay, we get it!” The thug turned back to face the door, but not before Campbell saw his terrified expression. Campbell grinned.

The elevator opened to the lobby, and the thugs motioned for the team to lead on through the front doors. Taking a second to wave at a terrified looking Moseby, Campbell walked out of the door with his team behind him. The thugs motioned for them to move to a nearby alley, one of them keeping a hand in his pocket. Still smiling, Campbell leaned against the side of the Tipton, his team doing the same.

“Alright you mugs,” the lead thug growled, the other two standing to the left and right to try and surround them. “Why don’t you tell us who you are?”

Campbell mimed thinking for a moment. “Interesting question. Counter-point, why don’t you three just curl up in a ball and start begging for mercy, it’ll just save time.”

The three thugs looked to each other, trying to puzzle out what Campbell just said. Looking up, Campbell saw four sets of glowing white eyes looking down from the building across from them. Still smiling, Campbell looked back down to see one of the thugs pull a gun out of his pocket. “You wanna wipe that smile off your face now, tough guy?”

Campbell sighed. “Well, we gave you a chance.”

Four shadows landed hard on the pavement behind them, and as the thugs turned around one of the shadows grabbed the gun and ripped it away. The three men tried to run, but Campbell’s team put them all in choke holds and held them where they stood. Trapped between the four muscular demons growling before them and the five suddenly dangerous individuals holding them prisoner, Campbell held back a laugh as Russo swore about one of the men losing control of his bladder. “Warned you,” Campbell said, wishing he could pull out a cigarette and smoke just for the image of it. “Now, why don’t we take you downtown and get some more information out of you?”

The last thing the trio of thugs saw were black bags being shoved on their heads.

Cass Hamada paced her café, peeking nervously out the blinds every few minutes as the sun set.

“You know,” Kavanaugh said, speaking up from cleaning the counter. “If they were going to intimidate you they’d do it by smashing the windows first.”

“Oh thanks a lot, jerk.” Cass sighed and stepped back from the blinds with a mask of exhaustion. “I just want to stop living under a cloud of fear, is that really too much to ask?”

“And go back to living under a different cloud of fear then?” Cass groaned and buried her head in her hands. “You know, I’ve been thinking.”

“Yeah?” Cass stormed over to the counter and reached over to grab a tray of donuts. “So have I. I’ve been thinking about losing my house!” Bite. “I’ve been thinking about losing my money!” Bite. “Losing my life!” Bite, bite, bite. “And I’m stress eating again so there goes my wardrobe!” Kavanaugh raised an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me like that!”

“May I continue?” Cass sighed and handed the tray to Kavanaugh. “Thank you. What I was going to suggest is leaving town.”

Cass laughed harshly. “To where? There’s no way I’ll go to LA, not with how they treat the toons. And you think I’m nuts enough to go across the Midwest? With how my luck’s been lately I’ll wind up with my plane crashing in the middle of the desert.”

“I never said leaving for another part of this United States.”

Cass blinked. “You mean going…going into another dimension?” Kavanaugh nodded. “Isn’t that kind of crazy?”

“Well seeing as we do it all the time?” Kavanaugh finished wiping down the counter. “Yes, incredibly crazy.”

Cass groaned. “This café took me my entire life to build up, and you just want me to throw it away?”

“We can store whatever you want to bring with you in our LCSS,” Kavanaugh said. “Plus, there’s a place for you to work back there that I can’t imagine anyone would turn you down for. Especially when they realize that we’re indirectly the cause of your being there in the first place.”

“You’ve got that part right,” Cass said, going back to pacing her café. “I mean I get it, it needed to happen at the time, you guys didn’t know all the facts. Heck, I smacked one of them over the head with a chair!”

Kavanaugh nodded. “And you know that they’ll be coming for you.” Cass paused her pacing and slid into the nearest chair. “Ms. Hamada, I’m sorry but there’s too much of a threat if you stay any longer. The Yakuza don’t know where we come from, or where you’d be going. You’d be under federal protection in our world as well, saying nothing of the protection of the MVTF.”

Cass walked over to a picture of her with her two nephews. She was silent for several minutes as she gazed up, running a hand along the side of the picture. “You’re asking me to leave a lot behind.”

Kavanaugh nodded. “My granda said the same about leaving Ireland when the ice had finally reached south of Leitrim. The farm wasn’t much by that point, all the sheep and livestock that the governments could grab had been. Only things left were spuds and even those were getting sparse.”

Cass took the picture off the wall and looked lovingly at the picture of her boys. “Got a lot of memories here.”

“Memories don’t die when you leave a place,” Kavanaugh said quietly. “Only if you leave them out of your mind.”

“I know,” Cass said, bringing the picture to her chest. Wiping at her eyes, she looked up to Kavanaugh. “Can I wait until tomorrow?”

Kavanaugh nodded, a soft smile on his face. “We can.” Smiling, Cass placed the picture on the counter and went for the stairs. As her footsteps disappeared to the top floor, a second set stomped down and Vogt appeared. Kavanaugh sighed. “I know, I know, too soft.”

“Not soft,” Vogt said, getting a drink from the sink behind the counter. “But risky.”

“You think Gen. Hammond’s so cold he’d turn her away?” Vogt shrugged. “You’re not worried about him.”

“Americans,” Vogt said firmly. Both men nodded at the thought as Vogt sipped the water and smiled. “It’s so clean.”

“I know,” Kavanaugh said, daring to go up to the tap and let it run. Cupping his hands, he stared through the clear liquid in his grasp. “Clear water.” He sipped at it. “No metal taste either.” Vogt smiled as he looked into his cup, cradling it like it was a precious treasure.

Kavanaugh quickly drank up the water in his hands and shook them dry. “Lisowski should relieve you. Try not to wake the house if she isn’t up, you know how comfortable those beds are.” Vogt nodded, and as Kavanaugh smiled at the thought of sliding under his comforter again Vogt filled up another cup of water to savor.

The three men wriggled and jerked at the ropes holding them against the folding chairs in the clock tower, Sunset uncomfortable just looking at the sight. “Do we have to hold them like this?”

“Unless you’ve got another way to make them stay put,” Oreldo said, sipping at a cup of coffee. “You girls really have never seen anything like this before?”

“If anything like this ever happened in Equestria the princesses would go after whoever did it themselves,” Sunset said. “And even if it’s only four years, I never heard about any criminals like this in Canterlot.”

“Lucky you,” Oreldo said, shrugging. “Don’t worry. Captain said we aren’t gonna hurt’em right? This is just gonna get the information we need out of’em, nothing more.”

Sunset nodded, but couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling. “I guess this happens a lot back in the Empire?”

“Well, mainly types like this would come from District Zero.” Sunset blinked, and Oreldo sighed. “A place where the Empire doesn’t bother to control, a slum where all the criminals gather together.”

Sunset blinked. “And how big is it?”

Oreldo thought for a second. “Last estimate? Probably a quarter-mile.”

Sunset gasped. “And people live in a place like that? Why?”

Oreldo shrugged, looking bored as he walked to the coffee machine. “No money to get out, half the time they’re hooked on some kind of drug they can only get through the district.”

“And the Empire doesn’t do anything about it?”

Oreldo shrugged. “Why would they? Keeps all the criminals and poor in one place, makes it easier to keep tabs on them. Plus, if they tried to clean it up, that would mean admitting there’s a problem in the first place.”

Sunset’s face screwed up in pain. “You mean your emperor just doesn’t care?”

“Wouldn’t say that too loud,” Martis said. “The lieutenant is a member of one of the thirteen royal families that elect the Emperor.”

Sunset shook her head. “That’s not possible, she cares far too much about everything that’s happened where we’ve gone.”

“She does,” Oreldo said, sipping his coffee. “She isn’t the Empire.”

As the trio spoke, Elisa stood out on the parapet with Goliath and Campbell. “You’re sure about this?”

“He’s just a thug,” Campbell said, leaning against the walls of the tower. “The ones we’re used to dealing with would never break, but thanks to our mutual acquaintance's knowledge, things like have been kept quiet haven’t they.”

Goliath nodded. “If this ensures that Xanatos pays for what he did, so be it.”

“Just remember, no killing,” Campbell said firmly. “Last thing we need is bodies stacking up around the city.” Turning to the stairs, Campbell shouted down in his American accent, “Bring one up.” Oreldo and Martis did so, dragging one of the thugs up out of his chair and up the stairs. Sunset could feel the confusion and fear in the man, and anxiety from everyone else. The man grunted and struggled as he was led up the stairs, and Sunset angled herself to watch what would happen next as Elisa walked downstairs.

Positioning the man so he couldn’t see Goliath behind him, Campbell ripped the hood off and kept the American accent. “Hey, have a nice ride?”

“Drop dead,” the thug barked, struggling to get his arms free. “What’re you idiots playing at, my boss’ll -- ”

“Your boss is working for the biggest criminal in the city,” Campbell said, looking unimpressed. “You’re literally a runner who got lucky enough to not be arrested.” The thug rolled his eyes. “So, how about tell us about the operations your organization is running?”

The thug scoffed. “Tell you? You got some nerve thinking I’d just give it up that easy.”

“True,” Campbell said. “That’s why I felt I’d at least try before you had to deal with him.” Before the thug could ask, Goliath spun the chair around and roared. The thug screamed in terror, and as Sunset watched Goliath grabbed a handful of the man’s shirt and lifted him over the side of the parapet. Smiling, Campbell asked, “So, feeling talkative yet?”

“Let me down, please!”

“Let you down?” Goliath said, Sunset sensing a brief flash of confusion from the man. “Are you sure?” Goliath loosened his grip, and the man screamed out again. “Tell us what we want to know and I will let you survive the night!”

As Sunset watched from inside the clock tower, she realized something. There was the terror of the thug, and there was anger from Goliath. She’d expected both. What caught her off guard was that she sensed joy. Confused, she tried to home in on the source.

“Capt. Campbell?” Sunset blinked, and looked up to see Campbell standing back and watching the sight of Goliath threatening the man with a small grin. Sunset shook her head and tried to rectify the sheer emotional power she was feeling compared to how little he was showing it. “Why on Earth are you enjoying this?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 20: New York, Stargate Command

The next week went by in a blur for Alice. Every morning falling asleep under the moth-eaten sheets of the hotel as the platoon laughed alongside the “Muppets”. Her muscles ached and her eyes were heavy, but somehow the platoon had enough energy to carry on with the felt creatures. She’d take a too-quick shower in water that was never hot, and then wash what clothes she could in a hotel machine that could only wash two times a week. What made it all the more confusing, Randel was just as joyous to laugh and play alongside the Muppets as the platoon. Where Alice, Marits, and Oreldo all came into the hotel barely awake, Randel would stride in with the rest of the platoon laughing as they dove into it with the strange puppets. Each dawn Alice just fell onto a lumpy pillow and shut her eyes. Seconds later she was sleeping.

Then six hours later, barely able to recover the sleep she’d missed out on, she was roused by Van der Burgh or Ricci or one of the other enlisted. She ate a quick meal of processed food that made her wonder about trying to distribute it to the rest of the Empire that needed it, then remembering that the other day she had one that was supposed to be beef with mushrooms but looked more like a solidified lump of earth with clumps of wet dirt around it. Again, more waking up from the platoon with singing and laughing and carrying on, as they loaded their weapons and set to work.

Gambling dens. Brothels. Underground clubs peddling drugs as bad music thrummed out of them. After weeks of staking out the criminals and confirming the information from the prisoners, it was easy enough. Alice would set her team to act as a watch, keeping an eye on the streets around the fight as Campbell led the way. They’d act like civilians, laughing and talking in their perfect accents until the time was right and they sprung on the enemy. They’d beat down the thugs at the doors, one of the platoon firing their weapon into the air to scare away any civilians. They’d force their way inside, and clear the place out. More gunfire, more fighting, all over in under three minutes at the longest. Then they’d set a fire, rushing out as the smoke started billowing from the racket. Storing their weapons back in their lacrima, they’d blend in as confused, panicked civilians as the police arrived. Sometimes they’d pose as customers, slipping inside with ready fake cash and coy smiles. Once she watched as Belenko started showing herself off for one of the thugs to get inside a bar run by the criminals. After the fight was done Alice had noticed Belenko smiling ear to ear with bloodied knuckles as she ran out of the bar.

Seven days, seven rackets. No losses, no slip-ups, no close calls with the police. Singing with Muppets in the morning, then a dreamless day of sleep before being pushed to another racket. Sometimes there wasn’t even a building, just a single man or pair of men on the streets. Two of the platoon would beat them down, taking packets of drugs from their coats or torching autos with weapons in the trunk. It all blurred together, and by the start of week two Alice realized that she hadn’t noticed that she’d started leaving her family dagger in the hotel.

She remembered the middle of the week, when the platoon had fought their way into a gambling den fronted by a bookstore. Baker and Russo had taken the lead, making their way into the shop and flashing the man at the desk some cash. Smiling, the man led them to the back, only for the two to spray their weapons inside the room in the back as the rest of the platoon rushed in to cover them. That one they hadn’t burned immediately, but only because Alice watched as they scanned the bookshelves. They talked excitedly to each other, holding books up with titles Alice couldn’t see until later that morning when they were talking excitedly about them with each other. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Three Musketeers, Grimm’s Fairy Tales, books that for some reason they platoon were so anxious to get their hands on that they needed to take valuable time before they set fire to the front to grab.

Something was huffing and grunting outside her room, and poking her head out of the door, Alice saw one of the bellhop rats, Rizzo, struggling to haul a bag of garbage to the stairs on its own. “Uh, are you alright?”

Rizzo paused and looked up. “Oh, heh, no I’m fine.” With another heave the rat kept trying to pull the bag to the stairs, but his claws slipped and he fell forward with the momentum. “Ow!” Shaking her head, Alice stepped out of her room and hefted the bag up. Rzzo laughed at the sight. “Oh mama, you know I like a lady with some muscles on her.”

Alice shuddered at being complimented by a rat, but it was still a compliment. “Just trying to make sure things don’t get too dirty around here.” As she trudged down the stairs, she passed by a section of peeling wallpaper with the back of it covered in grime. “Have you all ever thought about putting in repairs on this hotel?”

“I wish,” Rizzo grumbled. “After the theater was bought, we tried to make it with this place. Figured that enough people remembered our movies to maybe want to stay in a hotel we ran.” Sighing, he hopped down the stairs beside Alice. “And it turns out that apparently, you can’t run a hotel in this town without paying up.”

Alice nodded. “You mean that the local leaders needed bribes.”

Rizzo scoffed. “Local bosses more like it. You don’t pay up to the Sykes family, you might as well not have a prayer.” He sighed as he led Alice to the back of the hotel, several Muppets lounging about the lobby. “We tried hard to make it an honest place, and look where it got us.”

“But you’re not going to give up right?” Alice realized for a second she was talking to a rat about a business, then focusing on walking out the back door to the dumpster. “I mean we’re paying for our stay, at full price.”

“With fake money?” Rizzo pulled out the tip he’d been given.

Alice dropped the trash. “How did you know?”

“Please, you live in this city long enough you know how to spot a fake.” Rizzo tore the twenty up in seconds with his teeth, leaving a scattered pile of green paper on the pavement. “So, what’s the real story?”

Alice sighed, picking up the trash and tossing it into the dumpster. “Would you believe we’re dimensional travelers from multiple dimensions united against common threats investigating this dimension?”

Rizzo shrugged. “Eh, I’ve heard weirder.”

Alice nodded. “Sorry, I’m just tired.”

“Well you’ve been running around every night for a week. If you aren’t tired after that you’re name’s Gonzo.” Sighing, Rizzo led the way back to the hotel. “Still, at least you’re trying to help us. It’s better than most.”

“Truthfully, I’m ready to go home,” Alice said, barely stifling a yawn. “I’m just so tired of all this running around.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Rizzo said. “Our movie in Manhattan? Man, that was a long shoot. Up early, makeup, and dozens of script rewrites.” Rizzo shrugged. “All you guys are missing are the camera and makeup crew. Your buddies would make good actors and actresses though.”

Alice nodded, thinking on how different they were in the hotel from in the city beating down thugs. “I suppose they would.”

Rainbow hovered around the clocktower, laughing alongside Brooklyn and Lexington as they flew about the face of the clock. “Finally, someone else I can fly around with.”

“We’re just as happy as you are,” Brooklyn laughed. “You’re the only human we’ve ever met who can fly with wings.”

“Well, it comes with being the most awesome Rainboom.”

Lexington looked confused as he circled around the hovering pair. “Rainboom?”

“Yeah, name of our band, the Rainbooms,” Rainbow said, flying on her back. “We’re totally awesome, we’ll do a show sometime if you want.”

As Brooklyn and Lexington stared at each other in confusion, Sunset read over the books Goliath had brought out for her as Pinkie Pie worked the small stove. “Amazing. These magics are ancient, I can barely even imagine what some of these spells could do with enough power behind them.”

Goliath read over the notebooks Sunset had brought with her on her attempts to study magic. “Your own efforts are most impressive as well my dear. The ability to study magic as if it were a simple craft, truly astounding. You and this Maj. Carter must be formidable mages in your own right.”

Sunset chuckled. “Well we’re not mages. Actually Maj. Carter doesn’t even have any kind of magic ability. She’s just a regular human being.”

“A human who doesn’t study magic able to make such observations?” Goliath brought the book closer. “Astonishing. This SGC, they sound like fascinating beings.”

“Well it’s definitely never boring,” Sunset said, flipping to a section of the book describing a ceremony involving something called “The Wicker Man”. “Magic here seems to focus on process and ceremony, channeling it so whoever needs it can use it in a way that doesn’t backfire on them.”

“In most cases that’s correct,” Goliath said. “The more difficult the spell, the greater the chance the magus might lose control.”

Sunset blinked. “Lose control? What do you mean, like just losing your concentration?”

“Worse,” Goliath said quietly. “An incompetent or particularly inexperienced magus can cause the spell they wish to perform to backfire, to suffer the effects or pollute the results in terrible ways.”

Sunset cringed. “How polluted?” Goliath picked up her book, flipped through to the middle section, and gave it back. Sunset’s face went green. “Oooooh.”

“Precisely.” Going back to the notes, Goliath pondered and turned the book to Sunset. “What does this segment imply?”

Sunset took the book and read over for a second. “Oh, this? It’s a theory my friend Twilight came up with. She thinks that we can start using scientific theory to underpin certain magic principles relating to transmutation.”

Goliath’s eyes narrowed as he went back to reading the book. “This is akin to the work of Xanatos, the blending of science and magic.”

“Not blending, understanding.” Sunset held up her lacrima. “Once we understand how to replicate the ways these work for example, we can give people ways to store food and medicine indefinitely. We can make sure they understand how it works, to distribute it without people abusing these.”

“A noble goal,” Goliath said, closing the notes. “I hope your road does not lead to Hell.”

Sunset had never heard that phrase before, but something told her Goliath was giving her a warning.

David Xanatos read over the newspaper, brow furrowed as he leafed through. The latest strike had been on a bookstore, though the police admitted that there was evidence of some kind of criminal operation in the back. Only the latest in a series of attacks on the organized criminal element in the city. The police had been unwilling to comment on an “active investigation”, but the commissioner had emphasized that a task force would be brought together to investigate.

Fox walked in, still in her gi and drinking to cool herself off. “Bad news?”

“Only if you know how to read it,” Xanatos said. “It seems our new friends are becoming more trouble than we initially anticipated.”

Fox smiled, wiping her forehead off with a towel before taking a seat on Xanatos’ desk. “Looks like they are. Seventh strike this week, Sykes must be feeling it by now.”

“If not, he will when this police task force starts gunning for him,” Xanatos said, tossing the paper onto the desk with a frown. “I can’t figure them out. They’re part of a group that travels dimensions, has access to both advanced technology and unknown magics capable of giving them any advantage, but they apparently satisfy themselves with running around New York striking at criminals? What’s more they know everything about us, but didn’t try to bludgeon it over the agents at the meeting.”

Fox thought over the information as she picked up the paper. “We both know they have a longer game afoot, the question is in what part of the country. Ever since the shakeup the Society has played hell trying to reorganize the placement of our members in the US. It’s possible they’re trying to head us off.”

“And again the question becomes how they know about us.” Xanatos rose and stood at the window, staring out onto the pre-dawn city. “I’ll have Owen go and inform our associates that this threat needs to be handled as soon as possible. If they can’t, well we have no other option then do we.”

“Not many,” Fox said, laying a hand on Xanatos’ chest and leaning her head on his shoulder as the light of the sun started to shine. “You know, a story is told, though who can say if it’s true…”

Capt. Maria Chavez glared at the squad room and all four of her people in it. “Alright, let’s get to it. The DA is finally taking this seriously, at least the office says it is. So, here we are, the vigilante task force.”

Elisa blinked. “Vigilante? I thought this was organized crime.”

“The mobsters we’ve picked up that haven’t been taken down keep saying that these guys aren’t with any known family or syndicate,” Capt. Chavez said, turning her glare down at the podium and papers on it. “Therefore the DA is treating this as an organized vigilante group.”

Matt Bluestone’s eyebrow went up. “So the fact that there’s only four of us on this ‘task force’ is just another sign of how close the department wants to play this, of course.”

“Sarcasm is not going to help my mood right now, Bluestone,” Chavez said. “We’ve already gotten a tip, anonymous but we’re pretty sure it’s legit. We believe we know where these punks are gonna strike next. I want you four to scope it out and get us some information on them.” Chavez looked up and glared at her four officers. “I don’t care that they’re taking out Sykes’ operations, they’re still breaking the law. If I get the idea that any of you might be letting them get away with what they’re doing, I’ll have you all in the last place you want to be.”

Elisa hoped that the captain didn’t see her fists ball up.

Cass Hamada took one last look over the Lucky Cat. The tables and chairs were all put up, she’d made sure to give her remaining stock to any other restaurant and café in the area. The decorations were all stored on one of the team’s lacrima, along with her clothes and personal electronics. Running a hand along the counter, she thought back to all the times she’d had watched as Tadashi and Hiro raced down the stairs for the day. Of the great poetry that had filled the room, and occasional musical set that had given her customers a break for the day.

“House is swept,” Kavanaugh said quietly. “There’s nothing left but the furniture.”

Cass nodded, wiping an errant tear away. “Right, right. Okay, guess we’re ready to go. How do we do this?”

Kavanaugh held out his hand. “Hold tight, don’t let go until I say.” Cass looked nervously at Kavanaugh, slowly reaching out. Kavanaugh took her hand and held tight, voice still soft but his expression stern as he held up his wrist. “Tap this crystal when I say.” Cass nodded, watching as the three other troopers did so and vanished in flashes of light. Taking one look around her life, Cass took a breath and tapped the crystal.

The bright flash filled everything, and it suddenly felt like there was nothing to feel. Cass’ mind was still processing but without anything to process. There was only the blinding light, and the sense that she wasn’t anywhere.

“Security teams, stand down.”

Blinking away the lights, Cass looked around at an alien world. Men with weapons in military uniforms were backing away, and she found herself in a towering concrete room. Looking around in confusion, she pulled away when she saw what Kavanaugh looked like. Then seeing her hand she touched herself in confusion. “Where the heck am I?”

“The SGC Ms. Hamada,” Kavanaugh said, smiling. “Welcome to Colorado.”

Three hours later Dr. Frasier was finishing up her report of Cass Hamada’s health. “There’s still bloodwork and screenings to be done sir, but overall she’s an average, healthy, normal woman. No signs of any abnormalities or diseases to be found with an initial check.”

“Thank you doctor,” Gen. Hammond said, turning to Kavanaugh. “Corporal, I presume you’re about to explain to me why you did this without alerting anyone.”

“Because it was our fault sir, and I believed it would be best to remove Ms. Hamada from that situation as soon as possible. Our team put her in that situation, and therefore our responsibility to extricate her from it after giving us aid.”

“Correct as that is it also should have been reviewed,” Gen. Hammond said firmly. “You ripped a woman from her home into an alien dimension, that kind of action has consequences son. You’re lucky we have experience with this,” he said, nodding to Dr. Frasier. “As it is the Pentagon is working with the Justice Department to establish a new identity for Ms. Hamada. She’ll be held here until we can determine what to do with her.”

Kavanaugh blinked. “What to do with her, sir?”

“Even after we clear her as healthy, we still have no reason to hold her as a prisoner and she has nothing to offer us in terms of intelligence.” Gen. Hammond’s expression turned sad as he looked back to Kavanaugh. “We still don’t know who exactly tried to kidnap the visiting specialists from Fairy Tail, if they establish that Ms. Hamada is from another dimension they may try to take her too.”

Kavanaugh kept his expression flat, but his heart seized up. “That’s right, those NID bastards. God almighty, how’d I forget they existed?” Taking a breath, Kavanaugh put his mind to work. “Sir, have you considered that she might be able to work at the diner?”

Gen. Hammond blinked. “At the diner?”

“Even with the expectation of secrecy sir, our people will wind up talking. Primarily MVs 7 and 8. They’re clearly well-meaning lassies, but they still don’t quite understand the necessity of secrecy in these situations. Nevermind the personality quirks of MV-1. Ms. Hamada may be the perfect person to work the diner, even act as a kind of shoulder for the teams to lean on and ear to hear.”

Gen. Hammond’s eyes narrowed. “What about Col. Mackenzie? After his help of Natsu I’d say he’s certainly more than capable of handling the psychology of every team we have.”

“Clinically sir,” Kavanaugh pointed out. “Some of the teams may feel more comfortable talking to someone more casually about what they’re facing.”

Gen. Hammond thought for a moment. “And you believe Ms. Hamada may be that solution?”

“It would also give her work, a history, and given that she has no anomalous traits sir we can trust that she’d be perfectly capable of fitting in with the population should the Pentagon decide she can be trusted out in the world.” Kavanaugh’s blood started to pump again as he spoke. “I can promise you sir, Capt. Campbell will back up this assessment.”

“I certainly hope he can,” Gen. Hammond said firmly. “Restock and rest here tonight, I want you all moving by tomorrow morning. Dismissed.”

Standing at attention and leaving the room, Kavanaugh sighed as he moved down the corridors of the SGC. Even if he hadn’t been reamed by Gen. Hammond, being put in one’s place by a superior officer was never a fun experience unless you enjoyed being in the hot seat.

“Cpl. Kavanaugh?” Stopping, Kavanaugh spun around to see Daniel Jackson walking toward him. “What’re you doing back, I thought the mission was still on?”

“Temporary stop doctor,” Kavanaugh said. “We had to engineer an escape.”

“Yeah I heard,” Daniel said, nodding as he walked alongside Kavanaugh. “Granted I would’ve taken written notes but Ms. Hamada will probably be even better to understand the culture of this dimension.” Kavanaugh had to keep his face blank again; he didn’t want to have to tell Dr. Jackson that none of them had been keeping notes on the culture of the dimension. “Is everything going alright there?”

“As well as can be,” Kavanaugh said. “We’re going to focus on New York for now. What about here? Any information on that Goa’uld meeting?”

“Well the Tok’ra are tracking the movements of the System Lords as best they can, right now we’re just trying to focus on other missions until they get back to us with something concrete.” Daniel sighed as he went with Kavanaugh to the elevators. “Maj. Carter’s still getting over having her mind overridden.”

Kavanaugh grimaced. “Never a dull moment then. What about the other teams?”

“Well Korra and Bolin keep stopping by, they’re talking with the JAGs about precedent for Kuvira’s trial.”

Kavanaugh nodded. “Some old trials from the Second World War right? Nuremburg?” Daniel nodded. “The Germans had a hell of a time making sure their actions in the war didn’t violate any of their laws before joining the EU. I think it’s why Sgt. Weber’s such a stickler for rules, she doesn’t want to risk anything becoming a problem later.”

“Well Korra’s having a problem with it now,” Daniel said. “Bolin’s walking out every day with a haunted look on his face, I think he’s starting to realize what Kuvira was trying to do with her camps.”

Kavanaugh nodded. “Does he know if he’ll be called to testify?”

“The JAGs mentioned that it will happen, he was part of Kuvira’s inner circle for three years along with Varrick. Even if he wasn’t directly involved with the operation of the camps he’s still going to be asked what he knew and when.”

“Poor lad,” Kavanaugh said. Daniel looked quizzically at Kavanaugh, considering Kavanaugh was a year younger than Bolin. “He seems like a nice enough sort, but I don’t think he’s the kind who can bear to be on the witness stand.”

“Well he’ll have to try.” Coming to the elevators, Daniel sighed. “How are Sunset and the girls handling things without Fluttershy or Twilight?”

“Well as they can be,” Kavanaugh said as the doors slid open. “I haven’t seen them in days, but Sunset and Applejack seem to understand what’s at stake. Rainbow Dash, I’m not sure about. Girl’s got a prideful streak as wide as the day is long.”

O’Neill walked past the two shaking his head. “Use of cliché, ten yard penalty, repeat third down.”

Kavanaugh blinked as he boarded with Daniel. “Is that a joke about American football?”

Daniel sighed. “Just, just go with it.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 21: New York

It was another strike, Alice and Martis up on a fire escape in an alley across from a small restaurant. It was a small place, Alice had watched all night as couples and groups of friends shuffled in to the warm lights and cramped tables. The street was clear otherwise, and as Alice watched the night darken she heard the familiar echo of sirens and shouts from around the city.

“No sign of anything unusual lieutenant,” Martis said, looking down the other end of the alley. “Looks like everything’s set.”

“Understood,” Alice said, watching across the street as Oreldo and Randel scanned their alley. Seeing a thumbs up, she radioed. “Street’s clear.”

“Roger lieutenant, initial team moving in now.” As Alice watched, Russo and Van der Burgh strolled casually toward the restaurant like a new couple excitedly going on a date for the night. By now Alice had come to accept their ability to act, turning from stolid soldiers to whoever they wished to be at a moment’s notice. They walked up to the doors fine, but then paused. Van der Burgh whispered something to Russo, and Russo chuckled as the two turned back and went to where they came from.

“Everyone pull back to the hotel,” Campbell ordered harshly. “I’ll explain when you get there, just get back now.”

Alice did as ordered, making sure Martis was already moving before descending herself. Landing in the alley the two hurried onto the street and back for the hotel, catching glimpses of the others as they went. Hurrying back inside, Alice counted her team; four total, all up.

Campbell finished doing the same in the lobby and turned to Russo and Van der Burgh. “Alright, what happened?”

“It was too perfect sir,” Van der Burgh said. “We saw there was only one thug toward the back, at the bar. No other muscle, no one at the tables.”

“After a week of strikes at their business?” Russo shook his head. “It didn’t feel right, sir, there should’ve been something more.”

Campbell nodded. “Good call, good call the both of you. Alright, tonight and tomorrow we’ll rest and plan a new strategy. Lieutenant, see to your team and come with me. Sergeant, see to ours.”

Alice turned to her trio. “Oreldo, I want you all to get some rest. Try to get some food in, tomorrow we’re going to get some breakfast at a real restaurant for a change.” She glared down at her lacrima. “I don’t think I can take much more of these MREs.”

“Got it boss,” Oreldo said, motioning for Martis and Randel to follow him upstairs. “C’mon gents, let’s see if we can’t get one of the bellhops to get us a line on something to drink.”

Sighing, Alice turned to Campbell. “I’m still not sure sir, what happened?”

“Well the fact is that we’ve been striking at the mafia for a solid week right?” Alice nodded. “It made sense when we were striking at random every night, but now that we’ve been going this long for them to only have one man on the watch? No, it doesn’t make sense from any reasonable standpoint. The criminals are having their wallets threatened. They don’t ignore that without a reason.”

Alice nodded. “You think we’re being baited into a trap?”

“Or they’re going to try and follow us back.” Campbell started to pace, taking care to step around the sleeping Muppets scattered about the hotel lobby. “We need to call MV-7, tell them what’s happening.” Leading the way to the front desk, Campbell was about to grab the receiver on the phone when it started ringing. Alice had been surprised enough to see it was like something she’d have been used to back home in the Empire, but that it was ringing despite being as worn and dusty as it was. Checking around and not seeing anyone coming to pick up the phone Campbell motioned for Alice to back away as he picked up the receiver. “Happiness Hotel, can I help you?” The speaker started to spark, arcs of electricity shooting out at random. Campbell nodded.

Alice stared at the box. “What on earth was that?!”

Campbell shrugged as he hung up. “Power company.” Grabbing the receiver he dialed and waited.

Applejack was cooking up dinner in the clocktower when the phone rang “Yello?”

“Yes, is this the orchard?”

“Finest in New York.”

“Applejack, where’s Sunset?”

“Talking with Goliath and Det. Maza, apparently something big went down that she needed to hear.”

“I’ll stay on the line then, we think something’s changed on our end as well.”

“Everything alright?”

“We’re not sure, but keep your eyes open. They won’t strike a police station but we don’t know what else Xanatos might try. Tell everyone to keep their eyes open.”

“Got it, I’ll let everyone know. Anything else?”

“Just make sure Rainbow isn’t marking our position to everyone in a ten mile radius.”

Applejack chuckled as she flipped the flapjacks. “You got it.” Hanging up the phone, Applejack finished up with the food and cleared the pans into the sink. “Alright ya’ll, breakfast is served!”

Pinkie zoomed over in a heartbeat, bounding back and forth with plate in hand. Everyone else lined up patiently, watching as Applejack frontloaded Pinkie before moving on to the rest. Soon everyone was eating their breakfast/dinner, Broadway chatting with Rarity. “So, you like detective stories too?”

“Oh of course darling,” Rarity said, dapping at the edges of her mouth with a napkin. “Sassy Saddles is such a darling character, sophisticated and elegant but not afraid to dive into the seedy underbelly to find the truth.”

“I kinda like the old gumshoe style detectives too,” Broadway chuckled, tearing into his bacon. “Rough and tumble, but mysterious and decisive when they need to be.”

“Oh certainly,” Rarity said, waving her hand. “Of course, the best detective stories aren’t afraid to throw in a little action and danger.”

“Well let’s try to avoid the action and danger,” Sunset pointed out. “I had enough of that when we got here.” The door to the clock tower swung open, Elisa hurrying in with a worried look on her face. “Oh, evening detective. Everything okay?”

“No,” Elisa said, setting her bag down next to the old recliner and patting Bronx on the head. “We just formed a task force. Focused on trying to stop the ‘vigilantes’ who are taking down the Sykes family operations.”

Rainbow’s jaw dropped. “Vigilantes? There’s someone else going after the mobsters?”

Applejack facepalmed. “It means the police are going after Capt. Campbell and the others, Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow blinked. “What?! But they’re the ones taking out the bad guys, why are you going after them!”

Applejack sighed, shaking her head as she poured on some syrup. “Rainbow, are you gonna stop being rude and let the woman talk? Sorry detective, Rainbow’s just ornery is all.”

“Well so am I,” Elisa said. “But like it or not technically those guys are breaking the law. The police take down criminals, not ‘civilians’ that can’t be held accountable. You’re lucky I was put on this case, anyone else would take this seriously.”

“But you’re not really gonna do anything right?” Rainbow jumped up from the table, running over to Elisa with a look that was halfway between confused and angry. “You know we’re the good guys!”

“Good and bad don’t enter into it kid,” Elisa said. “It’s the law, and I have to abide it. If your people keep making a big deal out of this, we’ll have to actually investigate what Campbell’s doing.”

Rainbow sputtered, face twisted as she tried to comprehend what she was hearing. Pinkie, smiling serenely, calmly sat her down and put some spare pancakes on her plate. Sunset shook her head and took over. “We’ll get the message to Capt. Campbell, but what should we do in the meantime?”

“You girls just need to stay here,” Elisa said flatly. “I’ve gotta start moving or else the captain’s gonna ask me questions I can’t answer yet. Just keep a low profile and stay out of trouble.” She glared at the gargoyles. “That goes for you four as well.” Nodding to Goliath, Elisa left the clock tower leaving Rainbow angrily glaring at her plate.

“Quite the conundrum,” Rarity said, thinking aloud. “Do you suppose Capt. Campbell expected such a thing?”

“If he did, it would’ve been nice if he’d told me.” Sighing, Sunset grabbed her jacket. "Applejack, Rainbow, we’ll go to their hotel and talk to them.”

“We’ll go with you,” Brooklyn said, Lexington and Broadway looking up. “Last thing we need is you girls getting in trouble with the local thugs.” Sunset nodded, and as the three girls walked out a trio of  

Rarity shook her head as Pinkie set to cleaning up the room. “Do you think they’ll be alright?”

Goliath nodded. “They are younger, but those three would never back down should an innocent be in danger.”

Rarity blinked. “You think we’re innocent?”

Goliath nodded, patting Rarity on the shoulder. “Why else would they trust you all to our care?”

Rarity didn’t know why at first, but realized that what she was feeling was insulted.

As Sunset led on, she kept her eyes ahead and unfocused. The sidewalk was relatively empty, but the alleys occasionally shifted with the form of someone waiting inside trying to grab some money to survive another night. She shook her head, it sickened her. What kind of place would allow their own to just suffer like this night after night? “SG-1’s world isn’t like this.”

Rainbow was having the opposite issue. She looked everywhere at the dark city streets, grinning as she tried to predict a fight. Was that shadow in an alley a mob thug ready to take them out? Could there be a gang of freaks hiding and ready for a fight? Her mind was racing with possibilities, but as the minutes dragged on she started to realize something: There wasn’t going to be a fight. “Ugh, we’ve never gonna get to fight anyone at this rate,” she groaned. “This whole trip’s been a waste of time.”

Applejack sighed. “We’re traveling to different dimensions and all you want to do is fight. What is it Rainbow Dash, why’re you so worried about fighting everything we might meet?”

“Because we haven’t been doing any fighting at all,” Rainbow groaned. “That first time we went with the other teams we just stayed back with prisoners, and we didn’t do anything worthwhile back in Magnolia!”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “You weren’t the one fighting, you froze the second you realized what the fighting would be like.”

Rainbow froze, stammering out, “I-I-I just got surprised is all!”

Applejack stopped and spun around. “You just thought this was gonna be all fun an’ games didn’t you! You thought this’d be just like the Friendship Games or Camp Everfree, just flying around with our powers and no one would really get hurt.”

Rainbow tried to keep up a tough face, but Sunset saw her step back. It didn’t take her powers to know that Rainbow was intimidated. “Well that’s how it’s always been! If we just had a chance to fight how we usually do, be heroes -- ”

“Well we won’t be heroes,” Applejack said firmly. “You’d best understand that.”

Sunset screwed up her own courage and spoke up. “How do you know that?”

Applejack sighed and started walking for the hotel again. “My grandpappy used to sit me down and tell me stories before he passed, about his time during the war. He told me that sometimes being a hero is the worst thing you can do.”

Rainbow blinked. “What are you -- ”

“He’d been drinking some of Granny’s cider first time he told me, I’d snuck out of my room to have a glass of water and he was up on the couch. He started telling me about the war.”

“But there were so many heroes during the war,” Rainbow argued, Sunset staying out of the conversation for now. “I mean your grandpappy served, that makes him a hero!”

“He told me all it meant was he survived,” Applejack said. “You ever seen a man talk about what happened when he lives and his friends don’t?” Rainbow didn’t answer. “That’s right, you haven’t. You haven’t seen their eyes when they talk about it.”

Sunset finally spoke up. “You knew this is how it was gonna be.”

“When Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna came in with those guns, I knew things were changing,” Applejack said. “I didn’t say anything because y’all were so excited about it, but when I finally saw the SGC I knew that things were gonna change and it wasn’t all gonna be fun’n’games if we did work with them.”

Sunset sighed. “Why didn’t you tell us this Applejack?”

“Because I didn’t think you’d believe it,” Applejack said. “I mean you came from a land of magical ponies, I don’t think you even know what a war is. I saw your face in every history class Sunset, and each time it looked like you couldn’t understand that people would kill each other over something.”

Sunset nodded. “You’re right, I didn’t understand. I still don’t understand a lot of it.” Sunset stopped and stared hard at Rainbow. “Applejack’s right though, you need to stop thinking like you are now Rainbow.”

Rainbow’s jaw didn’t so much drop as plummet through the concrete. “But...But -- ”

Sunset turned back and started walking on. “Haven’t you noticed it? Natsu snapped, Fluttershy and Twilight both had to stay out, but Parker? Korra? Even Lucy, they all understood before we did.” Sunset sighed. “Eventually we’ll have to hurt people too.”

“No we won’t,” Rainbow barked. “We’ll find another way, we have to!”

“You froze when someone punched you,” Applejack said. “You couldn’t believe you were bleeding. You didn’t think that’d happen if you got into a scrap?”

Rainbow folded her arms and huffed as she followed behind Sunset and Applejack. “I never said it would be easy, I just thought since we had magic we’d be winning every fight we’d get into.”

Sunset shook her head. “It doesn’t matter if we aren’t able to face the fact that we’re not in the same world anymore.” Sunset stared up at the near-starless city sky. “Natsu couldn’t face that, and he nearly lost himself for it. I won’t let any of us wind up the same if I can help it.”

“Well what about Fluttershy?” Rainbow…dashed to get in front of Sunset. “She said they left a man to die, maybe they’re doing something wrong!”

“Didn’t you read the report,” Sunset said. “That man was at least five hundred pounds of fat, without that chair he didn’t have any chance and they had the mission to think of.”

“That’s what I mean,” Rainbow shouted. “Why couldn’t they have done anything to help him?”

Applejack rubbed angrily at her forehead. “Were you there, Rainbow Dash?” Rainbow didn’t get a chance to answer. “No, you weren’t. You weren’t there, and you’re gonna mouth off about their choices when you weren’t there? I read about what happened with you, and I saw the movie that one is in. You would’ve been another body in the desert if they hadn’t known what to do to make sure you weren’t found out.” Rainbow sputtered, but Applejack didn’t stop. “You wanna be a hero? Odds are that’s what Kane wants us to do, so that when we see him again he’ll use some dirty, no-good trick to get one over on us.”

“But what about Fairy Tail, and the Senshi? They’re heroes aren’t they?” Rainbow grinned. “They’re almost as good as we are and they still get into fights with the bad guys!”

“They have different ways of doing things Rainbow,” Sunset said, starting to get tired of Rainbow’s constant whining. “They’ve faced monsters and bad guys with a lot more power and skill than we have, we’ve been lucky compared to them.”

“But -- ”

Sunset spun around and glared at her friend. “Enough Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow and Applejack both froze at Sunset’s outburst. “We should be thankful that Capt. Campbell knows we’re not ready for this yet. We’re here to learn more about magic here, not get ourselves into fights that we might not be ready for. I know I’m not used to war, but you know what Rainbow Dash? At least I understand that you shouldn’t go looking for a fight! Now c’mon, we need to get to the hotel.”

The three walked on, never realizing that the alley nearest to them had been the spot where five thugs were about to ambush them for a quick score. At least until three Gargoyles silently ambushed them, beat them unconscious, and left them laying in among the garbage.

Striding into the hotel, Sunset was still feeling bitter until walking in to see the band picking away as the rats went about cleaning the lobby with MV-9’s help. Blinking, Sunset forgot her anger as she saw Randel tossing rats with rags up to the chandeliers. “Uh…Hey?”

“Oh, hi Sunset!” Randel caught one of the rats and threw them back up again. “What’re you guys doing here?”

Sunset and her friends kept watching as the rats kept flying up and down. “Uh, well Det. Maza said something’s come up and we need to talk to Capt. Campbell about it.”

“Oh, he’s upstairs talking with his platoon,” Randel said. “The Muppets said they figured they should try to make the hotel look a little nicer, so we're just helping them a little since we aren't going out again for a while.”

Applejack nodded. “Looks like we’ve all got news to share then. We’ll help out with the cleaning Sunset, why don’t you talk to Capt. Campbell and Lt. Mavlin?”

Sunset nodded, and dodging Muppets left and right up the stairs she made her way to the second floor. Seeing more Muppets and the platoon working together to clean, she saw Cpl. Durand smile and shake his head. “We didn’t even send for you both yet.”

Sunset smiled. “Cpl. Oland just told me. Is anyone hurt?”

“Non, but there’s something happening for sure. Down the hall, last on the left.”

Following Durand’s direction, Sunset opened the door to see Campbell pacing around the room as Alice sat at a small desk. “Captain?”

“Good to see you,” he said, not looking up. “How’s the work with the magic?”

“Coming along,” Sunset said. “It’s all ritual based, and can channel a lot of magical energy through these means. If we’re gonna compare it, we need to make a standard unit of measure in order to figure out what we’re dealing with in universes where it exists.”

“Agreed,” Campbell said quietly. “Sit down, Lt. Malvin and I were going over what happened earlier. Did anyone come with you?”

“Brooklyn, Broadway, and Lexington.” Sunset said. “They’re probably perched on the roof right now. So, what happened?”

“Nothing,” Alice said, rubbing her eyes. “Capt. Campbell was thinking before he was going to tell me what happened.”

“I was, and now I am.” Taking a breath, Campbell spun around and nodded to his two team leaders. “There was no other muscle.”

Sunset blinked. “So wait, it was a problem that there wasn’t anyone there to fight?”

“Actually yes,” Campbell said, nodding to Alice. “Care to explain?”

“After a week going after their operations, there was no one to protect the business.” Alice sighed. "They were looking to try something."

“Meaning that they had a trap, or some kind of trick there for us.” Going back to pacing, Campbell shook his head. “I expected a play but it’s too subtle for me to figure out. He’d be willing to sacrifice some of those operations but after a week I was expecting some kind of reaction.”

“So what do we do?”

Campbell grinned. “We arrange a dinner.”

Owen Burnett was dutifully working away at his desk organizing the portfolio for an upcoming product release when the phone rang. His eyebrow went up instantly, the phone never rang this time of day. He quickly answered, “Xanatos Incorporated, Owen Burnett speaking.”

“Mr. Burnett,” the voice on the other end said, so perfect that Owen was almost instantly suspicious. “We meet at Casa de Blanca, I spoke to you about the surprising results of our meeting.”

Owen nodded. “Of course sir. How did you get this number?”

“A mutual contact,” the voice replied. “I was hoping I could speak with your boss. There’s a matter at hand I need to touch base with him on.”

Owen’s eyes narrowed. “You understand that Mr. Xanatos is a busy man -- ”

“A business dinner then? My two team leads and I can meet with him at anywhere he chooses. He’ll have to foot the bill of course.”

Owen turned toward Mr. Xanatos’ personal office. “If you gave me a location -- ”

“Outside Penn Station in two days,” the voice said politely. “We can’t let certain antagonistic parties know where we’re operating from.”

Owen nodded. “Very well, Penn Station, two nights from now at seven-thirty. I recommend you wear what formal clothes you can.”

“No promises.”

Hanging up the phone, Owen leaned back in his chair. The caller was undoubtedly the same man who’d spoken to him at the White House, but now he wanted to meet with his employer in person? Nodding, Owen set to planning the dinner.

Hanging up on his end, Campbell walked down to the lobby as the teams were finishing up. “Alright all, gather ‘round. Now, we have a new plan. First, we need to know where Polly Lobster and Clueless Morgan are.”

“Oh man, they’re running the Grimy Diner,” Dr. Teeth called out. “They took Mad Monty with’em too!”

“And Mrs. Piggy’s boutique, where is it?”

“The shop is in Soho last we checked,” Prof. Honeydew said, Beeker meeping in agreement. “She’s still proceeding with her work as well, quite successfully in point of fact.”

“Very good,” Campbell said, leaning on the bannister. “Alright, all of you get ready. We’re about to strike the warehousAAAAHHHHHH!!!” The banister broke, sending Campbell careening down. Rainbow Dash bolted up and tried to catch Campbell, but a 210 lbs. man an 85 lbs. teen cannot support. Both went screaming down, right into Randel’s arms. As Rainbow groaned under him, Campbell blinked. “Well, no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.” Kavanaugh booed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22: Miss Piggy’s Soho Style

Miss Piggy sighed, sketching idly in her office. It was supposed to be her new fall line, but so far it was looking like it would all fall flat. Her designs for a new pantsuit were all out of synch with her dresses, and there were no accessories she could think of to accentuate the colors on several of the pieces. Groaning, she threw the sketches over her shoulder and pulled out a box of fresh donuts to chow on. Stress eating it may be, but sometimes a person needs to just take their mind off their problems with food.

“Miss Piggy?” A thin woman with long, straight blonde hair and bright blue eyes hurried in. “Miss Piggy, we have three customers asking to see you.”

“Gwyneth, I am having my ‘me’ time,” Piggy grumbled through a mouthful of fried dough. “What on Earth could make me want to see them now?”

“They’re offering to pay up front!”

Piggy froze, and jumped up from behind her desk toward the door. “Well why didn’t you say so! Here, take this, I need to get working!” Gwyneth fumbled with the box for a second, and double-checking that no one was there to see her, she grabbed two chocolate donuts with chocolate icing and near-instantly devoured both.

Hustling through her boutique and dodging customers, Piggy arrived panting at the front desk panting. “Where…Where are the three?” The woman behind the counter pointed to a man and two women, one with short-cut blonde hair and the other with long red hair with blonde highlights. Resetting herself, Piggy put on a professionally sweet face and sauntered over to the three. “Hello, greetings! Welcome to Miss Piggy’s Soho Style, and I am -- ”

“The beautiful Miss Piggy,” the man said, a tall and muscular sort. Smiling, he took her hand and kissed it. “The pictures don’t do you justice.” Piggy made a gargling noise for a second, not noticing that the faces of the two women with him were aghast. “We’re staying in the Happiness Hotel, your friends mentioned that we should look you up for some new clothes for a nice dinner.”

Piggy eventually regained control of her speech centers. “Oh yes, yes of course! I have a wide selection of outfits for you all, if you’ll just please follow me?” The man nodded, and motioning for the two women to follow Piggy went among her outfits. “So, when is this dinner?”

“Two days,” the man said. Piggy spun around indignantly. “I know it’s a short order -- ”

“No kidding,” she growled, before quickly smiling again. “Oh but you certainly won’t have any problem with being ready in time with our shop. Now, let me show you personally through our selection.”

Sunset whistled as hey browsed through the displays, feeling the material and nodding. “Rarity should come here next, she’d love to see all this.”

Piggy nodded, striding proudly through her shop. “Why we only have the finest materials in Soho Style my dear. Each bolt of cloth is personally selected and imported from the finest material houses from around the world.”

The man grinned. “And of course, the entire business strategy is laid out by yourself.”

“Well, you know, it isn’t always easy to be a successful businesswoman, but I do what I must.” Still smiling, Piggy turned around. “Now, let’s dress you all!”

Alice was swept up again, but this time it was watching as three assistants hurried around her. After five seconds of measuring they whisked her into a fitting room, showing her dozens of options for her wear for the dinner with Xanatos. None of them were like what she was used to in the Empire, hugging her body tightly with the only loose fabric from the dresses. Red, blue, green, none of them felt right. Thankfully, there was a yellowish ensemble that caught her eye. “What about that one?” The three blinked, and stared at the dress. “I am paying for it after all.”

Minutes later, Alice looked herself over in the mirror. It looked similar enough to what she’d worn during the winter ball, and at least this version had enough space to keep her dagger without worrying about it being obvious it was on her. A few more measurements later, and Alice was satisfied with her choice.

“Thank you so much Miss Piggy,” Campbell said, smiling down on a now-bashful pig. “It’s true what they said about you.”

“Of please, keep going.” There was a beat. “Seriously, keep going buster.”

Campbell laughed, it was the first thing that had been genuine since he’d walked in. “Can we pay in cash?”

Piggy suddenly looked worried. “Gwyneth, how much will it be altogether?” Gwyneth tapped at the cash register, and four dollar signs appeared on the LCD. “Ah hah, yeah buster, you’re gonna need a lot.” Campbell smiled and pulled out a wad of bills. Piggy’s eyes turned into dollar signs. “You’re good.”

“We’ll pick it all up tomorrow,” Campbell said, kissing Piggy’s hand again. “Thank you so much Miss Piggy. Meeting you has been one of the highlights of my trip here.”

“Well feel more than welcome to come back,” Piggy said, waving happily as the trio walked out of her boutique. Keeping her professional façade up, as soon as the three were out of sight Piggy was jumping up and down, laughing as she did. “We just paid off next year’s rent!”

“Hey babe. Sounds like you got some good news.”

Piggy froze at the deep, rumbling voice. The sound of fine shoes on the floor tapped closer, followed by the swift approach of oppressively thick cigar smoke. Turning, Piggy saw the wide and massive frame of her latest squeeze standing over her. She said in a sultry tone, “Hello Bill.”

Still smiling, Bill Sykes bent over and eyed the bills. “Who gave you those, pork chop?”

Piggy giggled. “Oh, a nice man who’s staying with my old friends at the Happiness Hotel.”

Bill’s eyes narrowed behind his rimless glasses. “Are they now? That’s a lot of money isn’t it?”

“Oh yes, but they said they needed their clothes for an important dinner in two nights. Isn’t that right?” Gwyneth nodded, clearly afraid of the man before her.

Taking another long series of puffs, Bill blew his smoke at Gwyneth as he knelt down to Piggy’s level. “So where is the Happiness Hotel anyway?”

As they walked down the street, Sunset finally spoke. “Okay, why were you staring at that assistant?”

Campbell shrugged. “It must’ve been one of the cameos, I was wondering when they’d finally come up.”

Sunset’s jaw dropped. “Cameos? Plural? Like a movie?” Campbell nodded. “How are you functioning in this universe?!”

Xanatos smiled, watching as his staff set the table for a formal dinner as he brushed several small pieces of dust from his suit’s lapel. His chef was already hard at work finishing the meal, all he needed now were his guests. For now, he could savor the sensation of the warmth from the castle’s fireplace on his body. For anyone else, running the air conditioning low enough to need the fireplace was ridiculous. For David Xanatos, it was just another beloved frivolity.

Fox walked in, like she’d been poured into the tight white dress she’d chosen for the night. “I’m sorry darling, but I don’t think the man dazzles easily.”

“That’s fine, I’m not trying to dazzle him.” Xanatos turned to face his wife and tipped her chin up. “Sometimes you just need to put on the right décor for your guests’ expectations.”

Owen walked in to the dining room, taking off his chauffer’s cap. “Your guests are dressing now sir, they should be ready in just under a half-hour.”

“Excellent, just in time for the food. We won’t need you for now Owen, you’re dismissed.”

After thirty minutes of Xanatos and Fox flirting diabolically with each other, the door to the dining room opened to reveal the three team leaders from the White House. Campbell wore a simple, fitted tuxedo. Sunset had her hair up, in a in a light green sleeveless dress that sparkled in the flickering firelight. Alice by contrast was in a yellow evening dress and choker.

“Welcome all of you,” Xanatos said, opening his arms. “I trust you’ve enjoyed your stay in New York so far.”

“It’s been interesting for sure,” Campbell said, walking up and shaking Xanatos’ hand. “Has anything come from our meeting last month?”

“Simply that we’re agreed on our course of action after New York is stabilized,” Xanatos said, gripping Campbell’s hand with more than what he needed. Only despite the pressure, Xanatos saw Campbell still smiling. “Come, I had one of the city’s best chefs prepare us our meal.” Taking their seats, Campbell started to speak when the doors to the dining room opened and another Muppet walked out. He was wearing a chef’s hat and had no eyes, with a large nose and massive mustache, walking alongside a trolley guided in by a blonde woman in a ponytail wearing cook’s clothes with the name “Kat” monogramed on the front. “Ah, and here our chef is now.”

“Bork bork!” The Muppet hurried next to Xanatos, shaking the man’s hand as the butler laid out several glasses of water at each seat.

Campbell nodded as he pulled out chairs for Alice and Sunset before taking his own seat. “Now, I presume you’d like to know how the operation is proceeding.”

“Oh I’ve read enough about how it’s gone so far,” Xanatos said. “Three weeks of silence, then a solid week of the entire criminal underworld upended. Buildings burning and reports of dealers on the street being beaten, their stock stolen or destroyed.”

“Destroyed sir,” Campbell said, taking a sip of water. He thought for a second that it was even cleaner than the water at the SGC, and wondered briefly how that was even possible. “My team has no use for anything related to drugs.”

Xanatos nodded, raising his glass. “A fine attitude.”

The chef hurried next to Sunset. “Hiven der salaad?”

Sunset blinked. Seeing Alice have no idea either, she nodded. “Uh, sure?”

The chef nodded, and quickly set to work at the vegetables on the tray that…

“Well, thanks a lot lady,” a tomato said. “This was just supposed to be a cameo, now you had to extend it.” Humming to himself, the chef smacked the tomato with a wooden spoon and grabbed a head of lettuce. “Hey Jerry, ain’t that your cousin?”

Alice gasped as a head of lettuce spoke up. “Yeah, but he’s a jerk anyway. Let’er rip, Chefy!” The chef borked out an answer, and set to ripping up the lettuce as Sunset looked on in gape-jawed shock.

As the herbicidal horror commenced, Fox leaned forward toward Campbell. “Tell me, why the sudden stop? We were expecting you to continue on with your plan of striking at the front businesses.”

“We realized that after the first week there was no further force added to the fronts,” Campbell said, getting up to walk among the dining room to admire the décor. “We believe that the criminals have abandoned their place at the rackets and fronts, withdrawing to their primary source of money; the waterfront warehouses that hold their goods for distribution.”

Fox grinned. “So, you'll be continuing on with the fronts then?”

“Hardly.” Stopping at the fireplace, Campbell looked up on the ancestral crest of the clan that had ruled it. As Alice and Sunset gaped at the chef chopping up pieces of meat and having a running conversation with the vegetables on the cart while he diced a tomato, Campbell grinned back at Xanatos and Fox. “The mafia’s money takes time to strike down, we may be here some time but it isn’t that long in the scheme of things. The NYPD will organize a task force soon enough to take down the criminals, even if they try to come after us we’ll leave and reorganize.” Campbell smiled to Xanatos. “Your city will be clear of all crime before you can steal another castle from my homeland.”

Xanatos grinned, small but it was there. “I can’t wait to see the day.” The chef placed five salads on the table, and spoke his strange tongue again. “Hmmm. Interesting idea. We can wheel out a range and see our dinner prepared right here. Anyone opposed?”

Campbell’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to see our esteemed chef prepare our meal right here.”

The chef laughed. “Gitten de battle axen!” Kat nodded, reaching under the cart and pulling out a massive battle axe. Alice and Sunset both whimpered a little.

Weber strode into the diner, Applejack and Rainbow Dash in tow as she took a seat at the counter. It was a dingy place, the exact opposite of the one outside the SGC. The booths were worn and upholstery torn. The walls were grimy and the old booth jukeboxes without luster and screens cracked. In her American accent she said, “Evening.”

A scruffy-looking lobster popped up from behind the counter, surprising Applejack and Rainbow. “Evening ladies. What’ll you have?”

“Three royales with cheese, three sodas.” Checking around the café and making sure that there really was no one else around, she leaned over toward the lobster as the goat with the bandaged horn started working the grill. “Can I ask you something?”

The lobster blinked. “Yeah, what about?”

“Well let’s say I wanted to talk to someone from the local scene, someone important.” Weber looked through the diner again and leaned closer. “I heard you’re the ones who can help me get there.”

The lobster’s eyes narrowed. “And who sent you, huh? Don’t know if anyone told you sister, but we don’t just let anyone know about things in this city.”

Weber grinned. “Applejack? The door.” Looking uneasy, Applejack got up and went to the door. Weber blinked, then rolled her eyes and said, “Lock it and draw the blinds?”

Applejack chuckled nervously. “Oh, uh, sorry.”

As Applejack locked the door and set to covering the windows, Rarity gulped nervously. “Uh, are we quite sure this is necessary?”

“Yeah, let’s really think about this,” Polly said, putting a claw up in Weber’s face. “You really sure you wanna get into something that’ll get you hurt?”

Weber grinned, and snapped a rubber band over Polly’s claw. “Hey, what the, what’re you doing you nut!” Polly had started to pull his other claw up, and quickly found another thick rubber band over it as well. “Hey, hey, get these offa me! Clueless, Clueless you gotta help me!”

The goat blinked, and turning from the grill shuddered. “Oh no, no don’t worry Polly, I’ll help you!” Wielding his spatula, he ran out from behind the counter and straight for Weber. Only to be quickly grabbed by his good horn and twisted around. “Ow! Owowowowow, that is my horn, do you not know that’s my horn?”

“Rarity, handle him will you?” Tossing the goat away, Weber jumped over the counter. Not once was she even close to losing her American accent as she cleared the stove of everything expect for a pot of water. “You know I’ve never seen lobster cook before. I hear they whistle when they boil.” With a single twist she created a bright wall of flame under the pot. “Let’s see if there’s any truth to it!”

Polly started screaming, struggling desperately to escape her grasp.

Rarity didn’t notice, she was too busy dodging out of the way of the oncoming goat. Clueless slammed into the nearest wall, shook himself off and turned to Rarity. Grinning devilishly, he took out a small switchblade and flicked it open. Rarity started backing away, hands up as Clueless approached. “Now, now hang on a moment, I’m sure we can handle this reasonably.”

“Oh I know we can,” Clueless chuckled. “Those diamonds you got on your hair, I can take those and sell them and forget this ever happened.”

Rarity’s eye twitched. “Steal my diamonds?” Clueless nodded. “Steal my diamonds?” Clueless nodded again, suddenly looking very unsure. “STEAL MY DIAMONDS!” Eyes afire, Rarity created to sharp diamond blades in her hands.

Clueless dropped his blade and called to the back, “Monty, Monty I need some help out here!”

Applejack watched as a green mass of fiber trudged in from the back of the diner, a hairnet pulled over his dirty yellow top hat that Applejack realized had holes cut through for the thing’s eyes to literally poke out of. “Hey, what do you three think you’re doing?”

Weber glared at the thing. “Running for mayor. Applejack, take care of him.”

Applejack finally looked away from Rarity, who at the moment was busy trying to carve up some fresh mutton, and at her new opponent. The thing didn’t look like it had any legs, just a long trail of rotting green that went all the way to the floor with two oversized fangs jutting out from its lower lips. The thing had a deep, rolling voice as it laughed. “I’m going to take you apart, piece by piece cowgirl.”

Applejack started to back away, wondering why the thing wasn’t going after a distracted Rarity. “Now hang on, all we want is information.”

Weber spoke up from the stove. “And if we don’t get it we’re going to need some drawn butter.” The lobster screamed out again.

Applejack shook away the disconnect from what she’d just heard and focused on the thing in front of her. “Monty right? Listen, all we want is to know how we can get in contact with the mob.”

Monty kept chuckling. “Well you’ll find them soon enough, we’re gonna send them right to you!” The green monster pulled out a cutlass, Applejack blinking at the sight of it before rolling away from his swipe.

Polly kept his banded claws and legs extended over the edge of the pot, fighting as Weber kept trying to push him in. “Don’t do this, you don’t know what you’re doing!”

“We know exactly what we’re doing,” Weber growled. “We’re running this city now, and the Tipton is our turf. If your bosses want to stem the bleeding then they need to meet with us, there, Friday night.”

Rarity kept swinging, Clueless dodging and mincing as her diamond blades scraped across the tiles on the floor and cut up the upholstery. “No, please, I was just kidding, I’m not gonna steal your diamonds, I’m really not!”

Rarity swung again, cutting off part of a table in a booth. “You’re darn right you’re not!” Clueless yelped as another swing sliced a stool at the counter in half.

Applejack was having the opposite experience, dodging between the booths as the green creature kept smashing through the place. “Dagnabbit, why’re you destroying your own place to try and get to me?” The thing roared in response. “Not much of a talker are you?”

“You little girl, you’re too afraid to fight?” The monster chuckled and shuffled toward Applejack with a dark expression. “You’ve probably never even been on a farm, that’s just a stupid hat.”

Applejack froze. “What’d you just say?”

Rarity took another swipe at Clueless when a green form flew into the goat from the other end of the dinner. Both Muppets slammed into the wall, groaning as they collapsed in a heap on the floor. Rarity blinked, and turned back to see Applejack panting at the other end of the diner. “He insulted the hat, didn’t he?”

Sirens wailed outside, and Polly was suddenly thrown into his two friends. “AJ, Rarity, out the back door!” Making sure the two were out the door, Weber paused to make sure the back was jammed to make sure they couldn’t follow through the diner. Applejack and Rarity were already clambering up a fire escape on the opposite building when she heard a man scream out “Freeze!”

Weber held, Applejack and Rarity stuck mid-climb. “Hands in the air, now!” Weber slowly raised her hands, hearing the officer approaching behind her. “Don’t move, keep those hands up. You two get off the fire escape!”

“He won’t shoot,” Weber said firmly. “You’re not a danger if you’re fleeing, get moving!” Applejack and Rarity looked at each other nervously.

“No, get down from the fire escape now!” Weber heard it, the cop’s voice was unsure.

“Don’t get down, keep climbing.”

“Quiet, get down now!”

“Get moving both of you!”

“Get down!” The cop’s feet shifted, and ever so slightly Weber turned. The cop was a good two feet back, pistol on Applejack and Rarity. Weber hid her grin and said, “Your superiors aren’t going to be happy with this.”

“Shut it, don’t say another word!”

“You know they’re all in with the Sykes family,” Weber said. “Do you really want to risk bringing in someone that’s been doing the work they’ve been trying to keep under the rug?” Weber’s stone face was the only thing the cop saw when she turned to face him. “What happens when it’s their careers or yours?”

The cop was young, and his gaze shifted back to Applejack and Rarity. It was all Weber needed. Compared to the times she’d been forced to fall back on her knife and CQC against the PAC, a rookie cop was nothing. She launched herself forward, her left hand pushing the cop’s arms and weapon right and down as her right fist slammed into his throat. The cop tried to stumble back, but a strong knee to his groin sent him down to be finish off when Weber grabbed the back of his head and sent her knee between his eyes. Taking his weapon she tossed it into the nearest dumpster and ran for the fire escape. “Go, now!”

Rarity and Applejack didn’t need to be told twice.

Safely three rooftops over, Applejack wiped at her forehead. “So why did you have them call the cops on us again?”

“Because they’ll associate the fact that this is a mafia-affiliated business with the recent vigilante attacks. We tell the lobster that we’re another criminal group, and we give Det. Maza at least a start to begin looking into the Sykes family.”

Rarity was smiling, eyes wide as she looked back to the diner. “That…That was rather exhilarating wasn’t it?”

“Settle down aristocrat,” Weber said flatly. “You have to keep your head during combat, otherwise your opponent can take advantage of you. Take some deep breaths, focus on what happens next. Let’s get you both back to the clocktower.”

“Thank you for your hospitality sir,” Campbell said, shaking Xanatos’ hand as Sunset and Alice followed Owen out the door with cold, empty eyes. “By the end of next week we’ll have wrapped up our business here in the city.”

“You have no idea how thankful I am to hear that,” Xanatos said, in what anyone who didn’t know him would think was actual sincerity. “Have a safe journey back, we’ll speak later I hope.” Campbell nodded, and as soon as he was clear Xanatos turned to Fox. “What do you think?”

“I think he’s ready to call it quits,” Fox said, grinning as she went back to sit at the table. “Another week of gunning for mob fronts and he’ll be begging to go home.”

Xanatos stepped toward his wife when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Sighing, he grabbed his phone and flipped it open. “Xanatos.”

There was a long inhale, followed by an exhale so powerful Xanatos could smell the cigar smoke on the other end. “I heard you met with our mutual problems.”

Xanatos nodded. “They just left. I can tell you where they’re going to hit next, if you’re interested.”

“And I can tell you where they’re thinking they’re going to meet me.”

Xanatos’ eyes narrowed. “And how did you come across that tasty morsel of information?”

“Well when you’re turned into the world of high fashion, you pick up a few things.”

Xanatos grinned. “I think I have just the people who can help you with that.”

There was no reason to tell Sykes about the upcoming raid. Just fewer problems for the police to stick their noses into, and more control to exercise over Sykes.

Safely changed and back at Penn Station, Campbell grinned into the payphone. “That’s right, dumb thugs are a warehouse full of contraband. What do you say?”

Campbell could see the grin of fangs on the other end as a deep baritone voice came over. “What night?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 23: It All Goes to Hell

Det. Maza slammed her palms down on the steel table, glaring at the lobster across from her. “Quit evading, what’s your association with the Sykes family?”

“We just run a diner lady,” Polly Lobster said, leaning back in his chair looking bored. “If our customers like to stop by and pay of lunch and talk over their business that’s nothing for us to worry about.”

“Quit playing,” Bluestone said, sliding some paperwork across the table. “This is just the latest business that’s associated with Sykes, and the only one he owns that’s been hit by whoever these people are. So what are you hiding behind?”

“Look, all we do is run a diner,” Polly argued. “If you got issues with Mr. Sykes, why not take it up with him?” The lobster grinned. “Or don’t you have a case?”

Elisa glared at the lobster hard. “What did they say to you?” Polly whistled innocently. “Alright shellboy, what do you want?”

“Just the ability to run my diner in peace,” Polly said. “In exchange for immunity from any charges that might come up after.”

Elisa and Bluestone shared a look and left the table. “One moment.” Stepping into the hall, Elisa shook her head. “What do you think?”

“Well we both know the vigilante task force is a farce,” Bluestone said, folding his arms as he leaned against the wall. “But maybe we can turn whatever he says into a real lead? Whatever he and his two little slimeball friends know, we can use it to convince the captain to turn this task force from some PR investigation into really going after the mafia.”

“That’s an awful big risk,” Elisa said, unable to hide her grin. “What about your pressing caseload?”

“A week off of dealing with purse snatchers and muggings?” Bluestone shrugged. “I guess New York will have to deal somehow.”

Nodding, Elisa quickly hardened her expression and led the way back into the room. “Before we can go to the DA about anything, we need to know what you have to give.”

Polly grinned as he leaned back in his seat.

Two Nights Later

Campbell nodded as his two NCOs checked everything over. “Remember that these are criminals we’re dealing with, no different from when we had to clear out Tunis Harbor when the refugee convoys were coming over. Even if it is their boss, he’s just as much a coward as the rest of them. He’s used to cowering shop owners and scared parents thinking of their children.” He grinned. “He’s not used to facing us.” There was a round of dark chuckling at the thought.

“Remember that this will be in the Tipton, be mindful of your fields of fire and check behind your target.” Weber strapped two ammo lacrima onto her belt and set to adjusting her sling. “Whatever happens, there will be no civilian casualties.”

“Durand, I want you to keep a squad on the exterior of the hotel. Kavanaugh, you take the interior. Stake out the lobby, Sgt. Weber and I will be in the restaurant waiting for Sykes to arrive.” He paused. “Becker, Gantz, stay outside the hotel. Alright, everyone get moving.”

As the platoon stormed out of the Happiness, Alice stood next to the front desk. “You’re sure you won’t need us captain?”

“We’ve already sent MV-7 back with the information we’ve gathered, once we take down Sykes and one of their warehouses that should shift the balance of power enough to make it clear that whoever’s taking Xanatos’ place that they need to play ball.”

Alice nodded. “We’ll wait here in case something does go wrong sir.”

Campbell grinned. “We’ll make an officer out of you yet, Malvin.” Making sure his revolver was properly hidden, he went for the door. “And if they have a musical number, feel free to join in? You might have some fun.”

The docks were never the most joyous of places, but to the men Bill Sykes had tasked with watching the warehouse it might as well have been a prison. Between the stink of the Hudson River and the boredom of just watching the warehouse to make sure nothing happened to the stock inside, most of them would’ve rather taken the chance of watching the rackets and risk running into the vigilante nuts that were running around. They were so bored they didn’t notice the four shapes flying overhead, quietly gliding through the night air as they landed on the roof of the warehouse. Crawling low across the roof the Manhattan Clan found a busted vent large enough for even Broadway to get in, and slipping inside wriggled down into the warehouse.

The interior was filled with pallets of packaged wrapped in thick blue wrapping, but Goliath could smell what was inside. He sneered, and motioned for his comrades to take their positions at the four corners of the warehouse roof. He waited, watching as two pairs of thugs paced through the warehouse or sat down by the nearest door. They chatted about their boredom, their personal theories about what was happening in the city, disparaging the cops. Goliath waited patiently, watching as they paced about. One of the pairs walked outside, still expecting a group of soldiers ready to burn down their warehouse. Smiling, Goliath let himself drop from the ceiling.

Joey looked around in confusion. “You hear that?”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “Please, you’re jumping at everything lately.”

“No, I know I heard something.” Drawing his pistol from his shoulder holster, Joey peeked around the pallets stacked with drugs and carefully paced through them looking for any sign of an intruder.

Johnny scoffed. “I told you, sample the merchandise too much and you wind up going loopy.”  Silence. Johnny looked up to see he was alone. “Joey?” Getting up from his chair, Johnny drew his own pistol and stepped into the drug pallets. “Joey, you messing with me?”

Footsteps. Only they weren’t from the shoes Joey was wearing. They were heavier, scraping the concrete with each movement. Johnny tried to process what he was hearing. “Joey, I swear man you’d better not be trying to put one over on me.”

Stepping through the shipment, he paused halfway through the pallets. He saw a pair of legs laying on the floor, and running over he realized it was Joey. “Joey, jeez man what happened -- ”

The growl froze him. Johnny felt his chest tighten, his legs frozen to the ground. His gun felt like a useless weight in his hand, and slowly he started turning to where he heard the noise.

It was a massive shadow of a shape. Biceps the size of Johnny’s thighs, massive clawed hands and enveloping wings, and two bright white eyes glaring down in the darkness. Johnny realized he was shaking when his gun fell from his hands, clattering to the floor with the shape approached him. Maybe if there had been a chance to run and get help he would have cried out, screamed to draw attention. Instead he just kept quaking as the black shadow with glowing white eyes reached out for him.

Goliath smiled. The thug fainting was just proof that he still had it. “Lexington, sabotage the wiring. I want this garbage alight before we leave. Brooklyn, Broadway, put these two outside. No need to kill anyone if they aren’t a threat.”

Brooklyn grinned. “This mean we’re back?”

Goliath smiled, fangs flashing in the moonlight. “Who said we left?”

Ten minutes later, errant sparks from a mangled fuse box land on a scattered pile of rags. The flames were small at first, smoking before the fire managed to spread to the pallets proper. The wood blackened, but when the plastic caught was when things really got rolling. Suddenly the warehouse was filled with smoke and roaring flames as the pallets went up. By the time the thugs outside realized what was happening, half of the stock was already aflame along with parts of the warehouse. By the time the first engines from the FDNY arrived, the warehouse was a loss.

Bill Sykes, undisputed boss of New York City, slammed down the phone in the back of his car. Piggy jumped at the movement a little. “Is everything alright Billy?”

“Fine, pork chop, just fine.” Bill sighed as he tapped some ash off into the tray set into the door. “Just got a call about a supply issue is all.”

“Oh, was it those mean competitors of yours again?”

Bill nodded, rubbing at his forehead. “Don’t worry, we’ll handle this soon enough.” Smiling, Sykes turned Piggy’s chin up to his face. “And I think you’ll finally get to learn what it is my business really handles.”

The car stopped, and as the doors opened Piggy froze. “The Happiness Hotel?”

“Turns out your felt friends are housing the same people interfering with my work, sweet meat,” Sykes said, grabbing Piggy on the prescribed part of the arm and pulling her out of the car. “Now we’re gonna have a nice little chat with them.”

Alice double-checked her things, making sure that there would be nothing left over from their time in the hotel. No trash from the MREs, no clothes or litter from when anyone had done maintenance on their weapons. She did feel bad about not being able to actually pay for the dress she’d worn to the dinner, but hopefully leaving it to be returned after a single use would be enough to at least partially make up for it.

“Alice, hey Alice!” Turning, Alice didn’t see anyone. “Down here lady!” Looking down, Alice saw Rizzo panting. “We got problems, big problems!”

“What’s wrong,” Alice said, kneeling down. “Did something happen to Capt. Campbell’s team?”

“No, something’s about to happen here!” Rizzo pointed to the lobby. “Bill Sykes just rolled up, and he’s got Piggy with him.”

“The fashion designer?” Alice shot up. “Get my team, tell them we’re going to handle this.” As Rizzo hurried out of the room, Alice grabbed her dagger and went to the balcony overlooking the lobby. Crouching low, she did her best to keep hidden as she peeked over the railing.

There was a massive man in the center of the lobby, a few Muppets cowering before him as a collection of men of various appearances hurried about. Some looked like they came from the Gargoyles TV show, others looked like they would in a “live-action” film. One or two looked like the massive man in the center, who was smoking a massive cigar with yellow smoke pouring out of his mouth with each breath. “Now, I’m only gonna ask once little man. Where’s these people messing with my business?”

The old Muppet behind the desk hacked, desperately waving his hand to try and keep the smoke away. “I…I don’t know whatcher talkin’ about young fella! We only got residents living here, not any temporary guests!”

“Really?” The man pulled Miss Piggy up to the face of the clerk. “Because my girl here said you got at least three of’em staying with you felt-faced freaks.” Footsteps. Alice looked right to see her team creeping over, Randel hiding behind the nearest wall. She held up her hand, still glancing down waiting for a chance to strike as several more thugs came into the lobby, pistols in hand as they stormed in. “Search the place boys, tear it up until you find’em.”

The thugs chuckled darkly, spreading through the lobby and tossing anything in their way across the floor. Muppets cowered away nervously, some hiding behind the nearest solid wall as others scurried into the nearest side room or into the basement.

Alice slunk over to her team. “We need to force them out of here. Oreldo, you know criminals better than any of us. What do you think?”

Oreldo blinked, then peeked over the railing. “Well they’re just intimidating the staff right now, but they’ll be getting rough sooner than later. We need to get them outta here. If we take their boss out of the picture, they’ll fall apart.”

Alice nodded. “I’ll go for him then. You three try to intimidate these criminals and force them out as best you can.” Seeing a back stairwell, Alice drew her dagger and crept away.

Martis peeked over himself. “There’s at least two dozen down there, how are we supposed to intimidate them?”

Oreldo grinned and turned back to Randel. “Think you can handle that part big guy?”

Randel blinked. “But, but isn’t this a little much to use the lantern for?”

“Big guy, these are the bad guys,” Oreldo whispered. “Do you think they’ll be as understanding with you if they find us first?”

Randel shook his head. “But what about the Muppets? What if they get hurt?”

Rizzo scoffed behind Randel. “Brother if you think we’re worried about you hurting us you are sorely mistaken.”

“Yeah, the rat’s right.” Oreldo paused, realized what he said, then went on. “Those guys are gonna mess this entire hotel up, maybe even hurt some of them. We have to protect them, no matter what. Especially after everything they’ve done for us.”

Rizzo scoffed at the idea. “Well that's all great, but what’re we supposed to do?”

Oreldo grinned, spying several other rat bellhops around the corner. “I’ve got an idea.”

Bill turned to glare some more when one of his men shouted out. Spinning around, he saw the man trying desperately to pull a brown shape off his face. “What the -- ” Another brown thing hit another one of his men, and Bill realized brown rats were raining down from on high.

Rizzo scurried about. “This was your plan!? Throw us down at them from the third floor!”

“Well they’re panicking aren’t they?” Oreldo’s grin vanished when the bullets started ripping through the banister. “Okay, start running.”

Grabbing Rizzo, Randel sprinted for the nearest stairs. Barging through ahead of Oreldo, he rammed straight into a mobster just about to rip the door open. The two merged hard, and the man yelped as he was crushed between Randel and the opposite wall. Randel pulled himself away, the man slumping in a heap to the floor. “Sorry!”

Gunfire. Randel ducked low, Oreldo and Martis firing back from behind him. Rizzo screamed out again, scurrying into Randel’s clothes. Randel yelped, throwing his arm out trying to get Rizzo clear and managing to dodge three rounds. “Rizzo, c’mon, get outta there!”

“No way buddy,” Rizzo shrieked. “Not until this mess is over!”

“But you’re tickling me!” Randel thrashed about, trying to grasp Rizzo without hurting him.

“Get down big guy, we can’t get a clear shot!” Oreldo pulled his gun to the ceiling, watching as Randel stumbled down the stairs to the thug. “Get back up here!”

Rizzo shouted out, “Yeah, yeah, get back up there!”

The thug on the landing below kept shooting, but as Randel tried to grab Rizzo he turned himself around too fast and went tumbling down the stairs. Oreldo and Martis took the chance to fire at the thug, but as they saw the man pop up and try to fire back his arms flew up and he let out a yell. Blinking, the pair saw Randel stand up, Rizzo’s head poked out of his collar. “Say, that was some nice work! Maybe you shouldn’t take me out after all?” Randel rolled his eyes and plucked Rizzo out of his shirt. “Hey, worth a shot.”

Oreldo and Martis went charging down the stairs. “C’mon, we need to get down there.” Racing down, the four were stopped when a Muppet came flying through the doorway. It was one of the members of the band, with dark aviator glasses and green skin. Randel hurried over, gently picking the Muppet up from the floor. “Zoot, what’s going on out there?”

Zoot let out a groan, holding a mangled sax. “Oh man, things are wild in there now big daddy. Those mob guys just let loose after the rodents started raining.”

Martis shook his head, turning to peek out the door. “What are you -- ”

If chaos could take form, it wouldn’t look near as mad as the sight Martis saw in the lobby. Two thugs were struggling to keep the drummer in the band from shaking them about as it roared and laughed. One mobster was swinging a Muppet that looked like a small man in a suit overhead, until another with a mustache and neck ruffle rushed him with two fish and smacked the thug down. The rest of the band kept playing through the chaos, as Muppets and mob thugs ran to and fro through the hotel, in and out of rooms and in and out of the kitchen.

Up above on the top floor of rooms, two old men took in the sight. “Well, now I know why they call it a crossover.”

“How’s that?”

“Because now all I want to do is cross over to the other side!”

Martis withdrew back into the stairwell. “I wanna go home.”

“We need to take the big guy out,” Oreldo said. “Randel, you go after him.”

Randel gulped nervously. “How?”

“Just get him away from his goons,” Oreldo said, checking the magazine in his pistol. “We’ll cover you, get him down to the basement if you can.”

Randel nodded. “Rizzo, are you okay?”

Rizzo shuddered at a crash from the lobby. “Oh sure, I’ll just wait for you back here as you take down the brutal mob boss.”

Sykes ignored Piggy’s struggling as he took potshots at the Muppets, growling as the little freaks kept bouncing from bullet hole to bullet hole. “Why won’t your friends just take the bullet?”

Piggy glared up at Bill, fire in her eyes. “Maybe because they don’t spend all their time building stupid little models!”

Sykes’ eyes went wide, and jerking Piggy up to his face he scowled into her eyes. “What’d you say?”

Piggy glared back. “Stupid. Little. Models! HIIII-YAH!” Before he realized it, Piggy sent a hard haymaker into his left cheek. Dropping the pig, Sykes stumbled back into the front desk. Shaking away the cobwebs, he glared down at Piggy and leveled his pistol at her. Piggy froze, and tried laughing innocently. “You wouldn’t shoot a lady, would you?” Bill grinned as he leveled the pistol at her.

It only registered that he’d been tackled when Sykes found himself on his side on the floor of the lobby. Shaking off the hit, he looked up to see a massive man overhead. “You! Uh, give up now!”

Oreldo facepalmed. “He just can’t be intimidating can he.”

Sykes pushed himself up, trying to put his pistol on the man only to get grabbed by his new opponent as a trio of Muppets ran by pursued by one of his men. “Do you know who you’re screwing with!”

“Please, I don’t want to have to hurt you!”

Sykes scoffed, and slugged the man right on the nose. The man didn’t let go though, he just pulled Bill with him further back in the lobby. “Drop the piece you idiot, you’re gonna make me angry.”

Randel shuddered, but seeing the Muppets trying their best to fight back he kept his grip on the pistol. “No, you need to give up!”

Sykes snarled at the man, and kicked at his groin. Randel’s eyes bugged out, but still had a hold on Sykes and led the both of them stumbling through a door into the basement. The pair grunted and groaned as they rolled down the stairs, one of Randel’s legs flying high and kicking out the only lightbulb there was. Both men landed in a heap, and faster than Randel expected Sykes pushed away into the darkness. The only light was the dim beam coming down from the lobby. Grinning, Sykes gripped the pistol still in his hands and scoped out the darkness. “Come out, come out…”

Upstairs, Alice peeked out from her stairwell and watched as the chaos carried on. A trio of chickens tried desperately to peck away at one of the thugs, only to get swatted away. A Muppet with a green torso and wild orange hair raced ahead of two pink creatures with horns and large eyelashes away from another thug going, “Mahna mahna mahna mahna!” The two creatures with him kept crying out, “Do do do do do do do do!”

“Is it over?”

Turning back, Alice saw two old men...two old Muppets that looked like men up on the stairs. “Are you both hiding until the thugs leave?”

“No, we’re hiding so we don’t have to watch this bit! Dohohohohohoho!”

Alice groaned. “Just stay there, I’ll try to stop them before this gets any worse.”

“Did you hear that Statler,” the bald one cried out. “It can get worse!”

“As bad as it is now? I don’t believe it! Dohohohohohoho!”

Alice ignored the two and waited for the right moment. One of the thugs came closer, pursuing the Muppet named Scooter. Alice waited, hearing the booming footsteps slam closer.

She jumped out and sent her fist into his nose, dagger wrapped in her hand for that little extra oomph with the hit. The man collapsed back, clutching at his nose as Scooter ran past Alice. “ThanksIcouldn’thavegottenawaywithoutyou!”

“Hey!” Turning, Alice saw another thug running toward her. Alice squared up, holding her dagger out trying to make him think twice. Alice tried to duck low, but the man suddenly kicked her in the gut and sent her sprawling. Desperately trying to breathe again, Alice looked back on the man she took out and realized that he looked like he was from the same place as Det. Maza. As she was suddenly hauled up gasping for air, she realized that the man that had hit her looked like he belonged in the SGC.

“Oh no you don’t!” The man spun around, bent over from a hit to the gut, and then got decked flat on the floor. Alice collapsed again, coughing as she desperately tried to stand up. “You okay kid?” Looking up, Alice saw Piggy holding out a hand.

Alice kept hacking. “I’m fine, what about you?”

“Oh I’m riled up now sister,” Piggy growled. “It was one thing when he kept calling me pork chop, but no one threatens my friends!” Spinning around, Piggy locked on to a mobster that was trying to strangle Beaker and went charging. “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” The mobster flew backwards into a wall, Beaker hugging Piggy close and meeping incessantly. “Beaker! Beaker get offa me!”

Pulling herself back up, Alice gripped her dagger and saw there were still several thugs left. Gritting her teeth, the young lieutenant got her feet back under her and charged forward.

Randel groped around desperately in the dark, trying to find his pistol. There was no denying his fear; if he went straight for the stairs he’d be seen and shot. If he didn’t have a weapon to fire back with, then if the mob boss found him first there was no chance to try and fire back. At least against the last of the 908 there was light from the flamethrower. Here, there was nothing but blackness with a false ray of hope at the other end.

Creeping along as quietly as he possibly could, trying to hear for any noise that would give away his foe’s position, Randel tried to ignore the panicking upstairs as Muppets shouted and mobsters cursed. He didn’t even want to know what made the howling battle cry a few seconds ago.

The room was a tangle of pipes and wires, with a near-derelict boiler or old box of tools every few steps. It was an agonizingly slow process, navigating the darkness in such conditions. Worse was the fact some of the pipes were leaking steam, making an already bad situation even more terrible. More than once he had to bite down on his tongue to keep from screaming out as he grabbed a steam pipe, or carefully balance himself as he nearly tripped on a rats nest of wires.

RETTE SIE

Randel shook off the voice in his head. “No, now isn’t the time!” Forcing the though out of his head, he felt himself getting closer to the end until he realized there was an open floor space before he could make it to the stairs. Randel froze, only able to see the outlines of several boxes and pipes by the light from upstairs. There was no sign of the mob boss, no sound of anything stalking him. Just the light tempting him to make a break for it.

“Corporal!”

Randel froze, it was his lieutenant. “We need you up here!” There was the sound of gunfire, screaming, and then back to the sound of fighting upstairs. Mind racing, Randel’s hand drifted to his lantern.

Sykes saw it, a blue light in the tangle of pipes and wires. Without thinking he fired wild at it, but realized that all there was in the pipes was a blue lantern. “What the -- ”

A split second later Sykes was thrown three feet back into another tangle of pipes and wires, trying to clear his head as he watched a massive form rushing for the stairs with a lantern on it’s belt. Gritting his teeth, Sykes raised his pistol and squeezed. If he’d taken a second, he would’ve heard the hissing pipe next to his right hand.

Randel was thrown out of the basement by the blast, the entire hotel shuddering in the blast. Dr. Honeydew gasped. “Oh my goodness! Judging by the blast that was the hotel’s gas line!”

Oreldo looked up from struggling with one of the thugs. “What’s that mean!”

Rizzo yelled as he went sprinting by. “It means get to the door!”

As Muppets and thugs rushed for the door, Alice ran to Randel. “Corporal, corporal you need to get up now!”

Randel blinked a few times, pulling himself up and feeling that his lantern had been closed when he landed. “Lieutenant?”

Alice desperately pulled at Randel’s arm, staring at the smoke starting to pour out from the basement. “Come on corporal, we need to get out of here!” Struggling to his feet, Randel stumbled out draped over Alice’s shoulder as the hotel started to go up. The Muppets gathered around each other out front, Oreldo and Martis stood to the back, scanning the street for any more mobsters that weren't running for their lives into the dark city streets.

“We need to get back to the SGC,” Alice gasped, easing Randel down to the sidewalk.

“We’ve got a bigger problem lieutenant,” Martis said. “If that was Bill Sykes, who’s going to the hotel if he came here?”

Alice was about to say something when the hotel shuddered behind her. Cringing, she and Randel turned around to see the Happiness slowly collapse in on itself like it was being sucked into the ground floor by floor. Every Muppet’s jaw dropped, watching as their home fell prey to a combination of structural failure, blast damage, and the reality of being a building owned by the Muppets that wasn’t the Muppet Theater.

Statler shook his head. “Do you think it was fate this would happen?”

Waldorf scoffed. “I don’t like to believe in fate.”

“Why not?”

“Because that means there’s a reason we’re still with the rest of them!”

“Dohohohohohohoho!”

Alice turned on the two. “Will you both shut up!?”

Chapter Text

 Chapter 24: The Tipton Hotel

The man at the piano in the hotel restaurant was good, but Campbell’s attention wasn’t on him singing about life in a neighborhood bar and the stories of those therein. Even if he sounded far too much like Dodger.

“Something’s wrong,” Weber said quietly. “It’s nearly nine, he should’ve been here by now.”

Campbell shook his head. “It might mean something interrupted their trip. Like a problem with their distribution network.”

Weber shook her head. “They still would have arrived by now.”

Campbell grinned. “This is a man who thinks he’s still going to control New York’s organized crime before the night’s end. He probably wants to be late to make a point.”

“You’re imagining he thinks like a regular human being,” Weber argued. “What if he thinks like an animated criminal? Why would he be late then, unless something happened?”

“Your guess and mine I suppose,” Campbell said with a shrug as he sipped at the wine in his glass. “This is incredible. No wonder the French demanded their own land for a vineyard.”

Weber let that comment pass, still scanning the place. There were the same groups as the last time they were in; couples out for a nice night, businessmen making deals over dinner, people who had no idea how bad the city had become. Did they know what was happening in the rest of the country? Did they know Shego ruled the Midwest as Toffee controlled half of California while Syndrome killed supers? “One thing bothers me sir,” Weber mentioned, sipping at her own glass of wine. “Why hasn’t Hekapoo come to us? If this dimension has Echo Creek, why hasn’t she come to ask what’s going on?”

“Well you said that Toffee seized power after all,” Campbell said, smiling as he politely clapped for the piano player as he wrapped up his song. “I never thought I’d see the day you of all people would be this concerned.”

“She’s essentially the master of the multiverse, or at least the closest thing we’ll see to it.” Weber stared into her red glass with grave eyes. “Our arrival should have alerted her. Never mind if there truly is a threat in Oregon from what we both know is up there.”

Campbell nodded. “I’ll agree, it’s worrying that he’s probably free. Still, we can’t afford to ignore what we’re facing now. First New York, then we move on.”

Weber cocked an eyebrow. “You’re sure this isn’t because you’re afraid to run across Hekapoo again, Capt. Soupy?” Campbell nearly choked on his wine.

Down in the lobby, Mr. Moseby fidgeted nervously. It had been too long since anyone had come to the Tipton for the weekly “collection”, and from what the thugs had said if there wasn’t any money his hotel would be in real trouble.

“Mr. Moseby?” Moseby shrieked, spinning around to see Arwin and Esteban standing behind him. “Sorry.”

“Gentlemen, what is it,” Moseby gasped, holding his heart and turning back to his computer. “Can’t you see I have work to do here?”

“Well we were just wondering Mr. Moseby,” Esteban said, trying and failing to look over at the three people sitting in the lobby as inconspicuously as possible. “Don’t they kinda look like the guys who came in here and wrecked the microwaves in one of the suites?”

Moseby glared. “Gentlemen! That is quite rude, you have no right to just presume like that. Now if they wish to wait in the lobby for whatever reason, we have no right to deny them if they aren’t causing trouble.” Esteban and Arwin shared a look, shrugged, and went back to their work. Only for Moseby to look up five seconds later at the trio.

Outside the Tipton, Becker and Gantz watched the people walking by to keep themselves occupied. They all wore clothes that either were fresh or only made to look torn, and none of them had pale sallow skin or sunken cheeks. Even the angriest looking person had a light in their eyes, not of a longing for something far in the distance they’d never find. The two took note of a large box truck driving past, around the back of the hotel and disappearing from sight.

Cpl. Durand walked up, smiling as he held out two red cans of soda. “Holding up gentlemen?”

“For what it’s worth, corporal,” Becker said, nodding as he took the can. “No sign of mugs, thugs, or anything else that would cause trouble.”

“I figured,” Durand said, looking out on the street with concern. “None of the others have mentioned seeing anything either. I’m wondering if we didn’t outthink Xanatos after all.”

Around the back of the Tipton, the driver of the box truck grinned as he quickly threw off the fake uniform he was wearing as he pressed a button on the center console. The back of the truck rolled up, and as the driver threw on a set of orange and black power armor six sets of glowing eyes shone from the back of the truck. Metal claws scrapped from the truck onto the loading dock in the back of the Tipton, as the now-armored driver jumped out from the cab.

Arwin shook his head, walking out onto the loading dock with Esteban. “I don’t know, I think Mr. Moseby is just trying to ignore the problem.”

“I know, but what if they are with those two?" Esteban asked. "Can we call the police on them?”

There was a loud growl, and both men froze. Slowly looking up at the truck, the pair saw a massive metal shape standing ahead of them, glaring down with flashing, deep red eyes. “Gentlemen.”

Everyone in the lobby looked up at the pair of girlish screams, but Russo, Ricci, and Lee all jumped with their weapons drawn when Esteban ran through the lobby carrying Arwin like a bride. Moseby hurried out from behind the front desk, about to ask what was happening when into the lobby charged seven armored figures.

Two were animals, canid. That was all any of the three could tell because they were armored monsters with slavering jaws and two barrels above their front haunches that glowed red. Their jaws snapped and slavered, with a row of metal spines along each of their backs and gaping jaws lined with massive metal fangs.

The only one that looked remotely reasonable was of one that looked like a man in heavy armor, scanning the lobby with a face-concealing helmet. He didn’t carry any weapons, but from the look of his arms and legs it was clear he didn’t need them to do damage.

One was a massive mass of muscle, with a great snout and ears. It had long and wild gray hair with a beard down to its chest, with a massive axe in hand and an armored breastplate over a chest as wide as the three troopers standing shoulder to shoulder with each other.

One had a cybernetic right eye, with feet so long that Lee almost thought the thing had a second pair of joints just under the knees. It had a canine snout too, but the muzzle was brown and turned up in a comical snarl, and a better kept mane of white hair flowing behind it.

One looked like a woman, with wild hair falling down to her waist. Her armor was red, contrasted with her exposed stomach and face which were the pallid color of a corpse. Her eyes were yellow, except for the red irises. She opened her mouth to reveal two long, wicked canines, and a tongue slithered out as she gave a hiss.

Behind them all was a massive behemoth of a being that was at least seven and a half feet, body plated in gold with a silver head styled like a canine skull. The right arm ended in a massive claw, the left in a cannon. There was nowhere to eject shells, Russo realized it was probably an energy weapon.

Moseby screamed for a second, then fainted as the guests in the lobby fled for the outside.

“Well there they are,” said an electronically modified voice from the massive armored thing. “At least three of them. Tiger, you handle these two, we’ll find the rest.”

The doors to the lobby burst open, and the exterior team rushed in with their weapons up. Russo, Ricci, and Lee all dove down as the rounds started flying, but peeking up Lee swore. “No effect!”

The massive leader pointed its laser cannon at the front of the hotel. “Show these pests what happens when you interfere with business.”

Durand started shoving his squad. “Move, out of the way!”

The blast from the laser blew out the front of the building, but as the dust cleared Coyote saw that his targets had scattered. Grinning, he stalked forward. “Kill them, all of them.”

Campbell and Weber finished sending guests to the nearest fire escape when they saw it, a flash of red blinking past them through the halls. Sharing a look, the two turned the corner to their left to see a red thing with wild hair ready to swipe at a flattened Lisowski. Raising their pistols the two fired, but as Campbell watched the holes they punched through the thing’s exposed gut did nothing. Spinning around, the thing glared, then started to laugh.

“Hyena?” Campbell shook his head, barely realizing he needed to keep his American accent in place. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Well you know how diamonds are a girl’s best friend?” Hyena chuckled as she hoisted Lisowski up with one hand. “Well if diamonds are forever, why shouldn’t the girl be too!” Laughing, Hyena bared her fangs and sunk them into Lisowski’s neck. Holding up her right hand, the fingers turned backwards as a small nozzle was revealed. Before Campbell or Weber could react, Campbell got sent flying back five feet from where he stood by a red beam. Shaking off the hit, Campbell looked down to see his chest covered in blood. At first he just accepted that it was time when he put his hand to his shirt and realized there weren’t any holes.

Weber didn’t wait, she charged. Hyena laughed and went to pull the same trick, nearly sinking her fangs back into Lisowski’s neck as she smiled at Weber. What Hyena didn’t expect was for Lisowski to go so limp she threw Hyena off balance. Trying to right herself the blood-red beast got a full four knuckles to her right eye courtesy of Weber. Stumbling back, Hyena hissed as Weber pulled Lisowski up and started backing away, pistol on Hyena. “I don’t know what more Xanatos did to you, or you even did to yourself,” she said, backing up to Campbell. “You won’t win. The clan are flying again.”

Hyena laughed even harder, stalking forward toward the three. “So! My brother has a god of death in him, I’m immortal, even that lunkhead Wolf has a ghost of his ancestor telling him what to do! Who cares if those bat-winged freaks are still around anymore!”

Campbell scoffed. “Her calling them freaks? Pot and the fucking kettle.”

“The Pack,” Lisowski gasped. “Through the hotel…”

“Quiet, save your strength.” Ignoring the smell of blood overpowering his nose, Weber glared at the beast. “Hyena, you kill us and you’ll have some real monsters come to take you down. How’re you gonna spend eternity with Coyote if that happens?”

Hyena laughed out again. “You think he won’t have a plan? Xanatos may be calling the shots, but we all know Coyote only lets that ponytailed idiot think he’s in charge at this point.” Running her tongue over bloodstained lips, the vampire angled herself low. “We’re all here at the restaurant, why not help me get something to eat!” Campbell saw it coming, and ducked to let Weber grab Hyena’s left arm and swing her into the nearest wall. He heard Hyena’s shoulder dislocate, and shuddered. No matter how many battles you fight, some noises always elicit a cringe.

Weber quickly put Hyena into an armbar, only for Hyena’s neck to rotate one-eighty and get a face full of cold, slimy, blood-soaked tongue. Shocked, Weber’s grip slacked enough for Hyena to rip free. Shoving Weber down, Hyena cackled as she raced into the hotel. “Maybe it’s time for some room service!”

Campbell put a fresh cylinder in his revolver. “Lisowski, get back to the SGC. Tell them to load armor piercing and incendiary rounds.” As Lisowski vanished, Campbell grabbed his radio.

Lee sprinted through the halls, the roar of Wolf pursuing him through the Tipton. Every so often a curious guest would peek out to see what on earth was happening; if the sight of Lee’s SMG didn’t frighten them into shutting their door, the sight of a seven-foot wolf-man with a broadaxe would. “Come face your death, worm! My ancestors will see their pride reborn tonight!”

Lee slid around the nearest corner, nearly slamming into Baker as he did. Baker looked down in surprise. “Who is it?”

“Wolf, I think,” Lee said, swapping magazines. “Seems he’s fully embraced his family history.”

Baker growled. “Bloody Vikings.”

“Least of our worries,” Lee said, hearing another crash as Wolf howled through the floor. “How on earth are we supposed to get these on him without getting ourselves killed?”

Baker grinned. “Well he’s a Viking right?” Lee nodded. “We just need to give him what he wants.” Taking off his recall bracelet, Baker handed his weapon to Lee and held up his hands. Lee’s eyes nearly jumped out of his head, but before he could pull Baker back the man grinned and called out, “Oi!”

Wolf froze as he raised his axe at a door, glaring at a nonchalant Baker. Stalking down the hall, Lee saw that Wolf stood a good head or two higher than the already tall Baker. “You wish to face me?”

“Hardly, I’m not worthy to face a warrior like yourself.” Bowing low, Baker held up his recall bracelet. “However, in exchange for my life I offer you the chance to seek greater glory.”

Wolf blinked, and so did Lee. Lowering his axe, Wolf carefully picked up the bracelet. “And how does this trinket take me to a worthy challenge?”

“I’ll show you.” Slapping the bracelet, Baker smiled at an empty hotel hall. “How’s that?”

“I’m sure they’re having a very American time back at the SGC,” Lee said, handing Baker his SMG. “Let’s go then, still six more to bag.”

Two floors below, Belenko, Garcia, and Kavanaugh were trying to keep from being killed by Jackal’s right eye. Every time it fired, a shadowy gray beam shot out and caused anything it hit to decay. Plants turned to sludge, and walls crumbled away. “He kept it,” Belenko said. “Somehow he found the power of Anubis again.”

Another blast, another section of wall destroyed. Kavanaugh poked his SMG around the corner and fired a burst. “Well it doesn’t help us to know it, how do we get him to the SGC?”

Garcia thought for a second. “Brother and sister right?” Grinning, Garcia leaned around the corner. “How’s your sister?” Another blast. “Sore subject?”

“She does her work, I do mine.” There was the sound of metal feet crashing down the corridor. “This is the power of a god, in an immortal body! Together we’ll do whatever we want, whenever we want!”

“So why are you still working with Xanatos?” Garcia nodded to Belenko and Kavanaugh. “Wouldn’t you rather strike out on your own?”

Jackal laughed hard at that. “Do you really think I’m as dumb as Wolf? Xanatos gave us these powers, why risk him taking them away when we can do whatever we want here?”

Garcia hold his bracelet out. “What if we could send you to a world where that didn’t have to happen?”

The metal feet stopped. “That makes me wonder why you’d make me such an offer.”

Garcia paused and looked desperately at Belenko and Kavanaugh; both shrugged. Rolling his eyes, Garcia took a breath. “You saw what we did to the mafia here, they weren’t ready for us at all. We’ve annihilated them, but we can’t take you on. We can be kings here.” Belenko glared. “Kings and queens! You can take one world that isn’t ready for you, live like the master and not the servant for a change, and we get the same.”

Silence. Then Jackal started chuckling in a way that all three could see him sneering at them as the footsteps started again. “You really think I’m that dumb, don’t you?”

“We know your sister is.”

The footsteps froze again. “What are you saying?”

“You know how impulsive she is,” Garcia said. “You think she would actually think out the consequences of taking up such an offer?”

The claws took off in the other direction, and Garcia’s grin slowly turned into fear. “I think I just made a mistake.”

Belenko took off sprinting. “You think!”

Two floors above, Hyena eyed the recall bracelet hungrily. “So, you’re that desperate to live you’ll sell out where you came from to do it? That’s pathetic.”

Durand, Brodeur, and Van der Burgh huddled against a wall, looking terrified as Hyena turned the crystal bracelet over in her hand. “What do we care,” Durand whispered. “Please, just take it and leave us alive.”

Hyena laughed. “Frenchmen, always cowards. You’re right, what’s the point if I know it isn’t worth the effort. So, how do I use this?”

Durand slowly reached his hand forward when he saw Jackal coming up from behind. “Your brother,” he said. “Your brother won’t let you go will he?”

Hyena looked up, and rotated her head around again. “What are you doing!”

“Keeping you from making a mistake, as usual,” Jackal growled, grabbing at the hand holding the bracelet. “Don’t you realize -- ”

Durand slapped the bracelet and watched the two siblings disappear, then the three grinned. “I love it. Even with all their power, they’re still thugs in costumes.”

“That’s at least two down,” Brodeur said, ignoring the disappointed look on Van der Burgh’s face at the spot where the two siblings had been. “What’s left?”

“It’s still a massive crossover,” Durand said. “There’s only four Suite Life characters, we need to find them.”

Van der Burgh looked up in surprise. “Four?”

Durand nodded. “Oui; Moseby, Arwin, Esteban, Patrick.”

Van der Burgh shook her head. “What about London Tipton?”

Durand’s eyes nearly jumped out of his skull as he turned to Garcia, Belenko, and Kavanaugh. “Where’s London Tipton?”

Another section of wall was vaporized, Becker ducking reflexively as Gantz swore. “Scheiße! What are those things, and who is this one!”

Becker poked back out and kept firing at the two things. “Maybe Dingo?”

“He left!” Gantz swapped magazines and popped around the corner to fire a burst at the two beasts. “He’s not from anything we’ve seen before!”

Running. Looking back, Becker saw Kavanaugh leading a group of six to them. “How many are gone?”

“The siblings,” Kavanaugh said. There was a bark, and a laser beam burned a massive hole through a wall. “What the hell was that?”

“Some kind of dog monsters,” Becker said. “See for yourself.”

Poking his head out, Kavanaugh saw two canid creatures standing just before a suite. Their fur, what was left of it, was beige with what looked like black stripes down the backside. Their mouths were massive, holding two rows of massive metal fangs that snapped and dripped with oil and saliva. Their heads and backs were augmented with a laser weapon rig, with two laser cannons strapped above them. One had taken more fire than the other, and the skin peeling away on the left leg revealed that even their bones had been turned into machinery and metal. The rest of their body was armored, large metal spines running down their back.

“Ugly bastards,” Kavanaugh grunted. “Any ideas?”

“They’re perfectly obedient,” Becker said. “Their master just left five minutes ago, into London’s suite.” Van der Burgh let herself look smug for a second. “The only way we stop them is stopping him.”

Kavanaugh nodded. “So why is he after London?”

Inside the suite, newest Pack member Tasmanian Tiger pulled London Tipton up to his face mask. “I’m not kidding girlie, you get on the phone and you hand over your money now!”

London kept struggling. “I can’t, it doesn’t work like that! And that color scheme is not helping your look right now.”

T.T. growled, throwing London onto the nearest couch. “What do you mean it doesn’t work like that! You live in your family’s hotel, there’s no way you don’t have any money!”

London glared back at the man. “Any money my daddy gave me is held in trust until I’m 21 years old and am A: Married; B: Have obtained a college degree; C: Devoted my life to a vocation or long-term employment plan, or D: Am in such a dire financial situation that any money held in trust are the only means available to prevent either destitution or chapter 7 bankruptcy.”

T.T. blinked. “You knew all that?”

London looked insulted. “You thought I wouldn’t know that I knew about how my money works? Do you have any idea how many clothes I could get with that much cash?” T.T. hauled London up again. “Are you kidding me! This outfit wrinkles real easy buddy!”

“Well if your money’s in trust, then I’ll have to convince your daddy to hand over what he has!” Turning London around, he marched her in front of him through the door. London tried to freeze, but his armor forced her forward even as she froze and started whispering and shaking her head. “You’re gonna have that coward at the front desk call your daddy, and you’ll tell him how much you want to live to see tomorrow morning.”

Exiting the suite into the halls, he yelled out. “I don’t know who you lot are, but I’ve got the heiress now! Throw your weapons out and come forward!” A pause. Then several guns went sliding across the carpet to T.T.’s thylacines. “Alright boys, get rid of’em.” The beasts growled, devouring the weapons; all that was left after a minute were iron scraps. “Now, the lot of you, get out here!” Eight people came forward, hands raised and all glaring at T.T. “Now you’ll both keep my boys company, or else Ms. Tipton here gets to see real high fashion when she gets to the Pearly Gates!”

One of the men flinched. “No, don’t, we’ll give you something better.”

Another man turned his head and started cursing at the first in French. The first man answered in French, and the two kept arguing. T.T. barked, “Enough! What’s the problem!”

“He doesn’t think that this is worth the life of a young girl,” the first man said. “Please, don’t hurt her, we’ll give you something more valuable by far.”

T.T. edged forward. “More valuable?”

The man ripped a bracelet off his wrist. “These. They’re common for us, but here they’re rare, only exist because we made them!”

T.T. saw the crystal embedded in the center, and his interest was piqued. “What is it?”

“A rare crystal,” the man said, edging forward with the bracelet held out. “Capable of acting as a teleporter. You can go anywhere you want, do anything you want, even the Tipton fortune will be small compared to this!”

T.T.’s eyes were sparkling behind his faceplate, and before London realized what was happening she was thrown aside to the floor. As he grabbed the bracelet, T.T. grinned down on the man before realizing that he was suddenly taken away from the Tipton. The last thing he’d seen before that was of the man slapping his hand on the crystal.

As their owner vanished, the two creatures looked confused, then growling they turned to the troopers. Becker tried to smile as everyone backed away. “Nice dogs, good dogs, don’t eat the nice people!” The beasts snapped at him as their lasers charged. “Well it was nice knowing you all.”

“Sit!” Both creatures turned back to London, and started to stalk towards her. “I said sit!” Both creatures blinked, then sat down looking confused again. “Bad dogs, bad! We don’t snap at people who fight bad guys!” One of the beasts growled, but London had none of it. “Don’t you growl at me mister!” The beast started to whimper and lay down, covering its face with its paws. The troopers blinked, then looked up at London. “Oh, training Ivana was way harder than this. You should’ve seen when I had to potty train her.”

T.T. was in a massive concrete room, towering high and covered in pipes and wiring. Looking around, he saw that there was a semi-circle of uniformed men in front of him, two of them behind two massive looking weapons. Blinking, T.T. only had time to look down to see he was standing in a pile of destroyed armor plates and mulched body parts.

The Browning M2 is a simple design, still utilized even after many of the same weapons it was used alongside have been put out to the gun shows and collectors markets. Designed originally for the trenches of another World War 1, the parts and mechanisms allow for one simple principle: Whatever is on the other end of the barrel will not survive. The gun on the left fired first; an armor piercing burst went flying at T.T., striking his armor on the breast plate and gouging a massive hole through it. Two struck on the symbol of the Pack, shattering it. Three hit the neck of the armor, the killing blow. The round shot through the mercenary’s thin plating and through his neck; the temporary cavity on a .50 caliber round is large enough to turn a man’s arm into a shredded stump and an amputated forearm. On a man’s neck it cut every nerve, severed T.T.’s spinal column, demolished his voice box, and vaporized any blood inside. That wasn’t the end, as four and five cut through the chest plate.

The second gun fired a burst of five incendiary rounds; designed to burn hot enough to melt light armor on Soviet recon trucks. One round burst into a brilliant pyrotechnic display off of the right breast plate. The second struck home dead center on the face plate, and whatever last seconds of cognizant thought T.T. had were spent silently screaming at the blinding light that overwhelmed whatever neurons were left to fire.

Lisowski sighed, a medic monitoring her as a blood bag flowed into an IV in her arm in the control room overlooking the gate room as the guns turned the unknown figure into scrap metal and viscera. “I don’t know that one, but we’re still missing the big one.”

“We’ll stay until we get your clearance Lisowski,” Gen. Hammond said, watching as another foe was turned into chunks. “You think Capt. Campbell can pull this off?”

“Yes sir,” Lisowski said, barely able to even say that. For the best, because her exhaustion made it impossible for her to carry across how worried she was.

Campbell shuddered as the Tipton lobby took another hit. Peeking into it from the stairwell, he watched as Russo and Ricci scrambled away from Coyote’s swinging arm. Pieces of couches and coffee tables were strewn everywhere, the newsstand was torn to shreds, and among the carnage was Moseby’s still-unconscious body. Thankfully, the vase in the center of the lobby was still intact.

“You know we could’ve made this easy,” Coyote said, turning to survey the lobby. “All you had to do was surrender.” No one said anything; why let him know where they were taking cover. “Did you ever think maybe you could’ve joined with us instead of causing all this trouble?”

Looking around the lobby, he saw a phone still intact on the floor beside the splintered front desk. Tapping Weber, he pointed to it. Weber nodded, and looked across the lobby. She saw Schneider and Vogt covering behind a staff door and grabbed her radio. “Schneider, one of you has to grab that phone and call the hotel to get Oland here before the police.”

Both troopers’ faces fell as Schneider radioed back. “Sergeant, are you sure about that?”

“We need Oland, and we need him now.” Schneider and Vogt cringed, and as Vogt kept his weapon up Schneider went low and started slowly moving through the debris as Weber peppered Coyote with rounds to try and draw his attention away. Coyote simply raised his laser cannon, and as Weber and Campbell ran the wall they’d been hiding behind turned into slag.

Coyote turned toward their location. “You know that’s futile.” Coyote spun his torso around to the front desk, knocking the vase off the table and sending it flying at the wall as he trained his laser cannon on Schneider. “Maybe try that trick on Wolf next time.”

Moseby didn’t hear everything that was happening, he only knew that when he finally opened his eyes he saw his priceless vase smashing against the wall.

Schneider was frozen. Coyote had her, and Vogt firing at the robot would only get him killed too. Taking a breath, she stood tall and glared back at Coyote. “Savoring the moment?”

“After the police arrive there’s no chance that I’ll be able to get away without being seen.” Coyote lowered his cannon and raised his claws. “I might as well enjoy things while I can.”

Coyote suddenly tilted, Schneider nearly laughing as Moseby latched onto the claw screaming like a madman. “NO DESTRUCTION IN MY LOBBY!” Still screaming, he rode like a drunk uncle on a mechanical bull without a safety mechanism as Coyote tried to shake him off. Seconds later Esteban jumped on Coyote’s laser cannon shouting in rapid-fire Spanish, as Arwin tried to take a hacksaw to Coyote’s neck.

As Campbell watched the spectacle with a bemused grin, he heard footsteps behind him and turned to see Patrick. “Is it over yet?’

Campbell blinked. “Aren’t you going to go out there and help?”

Patrick rolled his eyes. “And do what, smack him with a ladle?” The building shuddered as Coyote slammed into a load-bearing wall, Patrick screaming like a little girl.

Slamming his legs on the floor, Coyote reached behind his neck and threw Arwin off, Campbell ducking as the maintenance man slammed into the maître d. Esteban was next, Campbell ducking back again as the bellboy joined the pile. Raising his right arm, Coyote glared at Moseby. The manager laughed innocently. “Would you like to see our options for our executive suites?” Whipping his arm, Coyote threw Moseby off into the pile, the four employees groaning and grunting as they tried to pull themselves off each other. “Arwin get your foot off my arm!”

“Mr. Moseby that’s not my foot!”

“Well someone better get some foot off my arm!”

They all froze as they heard the laser cannon charge “I try not to get too emotional, it’s not what I am.” If Coyote still had his normal head, Campbell knew he would be smiling as he aimed the laser cannon at them. “Still, thanks for making it entertaining.”

Schneider took the distraction and latched her bracelet around a claw and slapped it.

Lisowski shot up as Coyote appeared in the middle of the gate room, getting cut down by the two M2s as they stripped the armor away plate by plate. The right side of his headpiece went flying, and for a brief second Lisowski saw the face of David Xanatos staring back before another round tore the fake skin away to reveal a grinning metal skull.

“Fully autonomous robotics,” Gen. Hammond whispered. “And there was no alien involvement with this at all?”

“None sir,” Lisowski said, leaning forward on a control panel as she watched the last member of the Pack get turned into modern art. “This was all the work of one man.” Gen. Hammond nodded, watching as the guns pulverized the threat. “Next there should be -- ”

Several figures appeared in the gate room, and Lisowski grabbed the nearest mic. “Hold fire, hold fire!” Looking down, she saw her platoon relieved to still be alive. Campbell looked up at the control room and gave a thumbs up.

“Welcome back MV-4,” Gen. Hammond said as Lisowski backed away. “Situation update in fifteen, captain.” Campbell nodded, just before looking down and looking disgusted at what he and his platoon were standing in.

“Go back?” Gen. Hammond blinked. “You’re not serious, captain.”

“Sir, the threat we’ve described knows that there’s now a possible way to move into the multiverse. If we fail to neutralize him before he escapes he may become just as great a threat as Kane.”

Gen. Hammond shook his head. “Out of the question, captain. From what I just saw sending you back with only MV-9 and local support is a death sentence. You yourself noted that one of those individuals was never present in the course of the show you said is most like this alternate New York.”

Campbell nodded. “He may exist in other forms of media sir. Remember that we only have access to television shows; Disney is so massive he may have come into play in some other spinoff of this one.”

“Son I can’t go making decisions based solely on your understanding of popular entertainment. Now I’m willing to accept that this individual is a threat, but if you can’t take him out on the first attempt then you withdraw immediately, is that clear?”

Campbell nodded. “Crystal sir.”

Nodding, Gen. Hammond rose and took Campbell’s initial report in hand. “Be careful son, make sure that you bring them back alive.”

Campbell nodded. “No other way I would end this mission sir.” As Gen. Hammond went to his office, Campbell rushed for the door to see Weber waiting. “Get to the armory sergeant, grab our backups. We’ll get to MV-9 and grab them for this next patrol.”

“The Labyrinth sir?”

Campbell nodded. “He made us look like fools, sergeant. He'll need to learn what happens as a consequence.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 25: The Tipton Hotel

Mr. Moseby groaned as he kept picking up pieces of his ruined hotel lobby. The police were everywhere now, taking evidence and asking as many questions as possible about what happened. London in particular was vehemently arguing that she be allowed to keep the two thylacines, who cared what animal control said about dangerous animals in regards to public health and safety anyway.

Arwin maneuvered cautiously around the wrecked front desk, Esteban and Patrick lifting a piece of shattered wood off of the couch as he walked up to Moseby. “Well, uh, it’ll take some overtime sir, but I think I can fix it.” His awkward smile vanished when Moseby just stared at him for a few seconds. “I’ll just get to cleaning things up.”

“Mr. Moseby?” Turning back toward the front of the hotel, Moseby saw a woman walking over in a red jacket and jeans. “I’m Det. Maza, can I talk to you for a few moments?”

“I’m afraid I’m a little preoccupied at the moment detective, I have a lobby to try and repair.” Moseby groaned as one of the elevator doors fell out and crashed on the floor. “Try apparently is the operative word.”

“I know you’re having a lot of problems sir, but since we’ve already catalogued the majority of evidence we need to ask you about what happened.”

“Oh I don’t know what’s been happening,” Moseby said, throwing his hands up in defeat. “It all started over a month ago, four strangers come to my hotel and cheat me out of a stay in one of our suites. Then out of nowhere they somehow manage to disappear from the room right before I came to the front desk after destroying the microwave. Then out of nowhere four people come here and intimidate the people who have been extorting my hotel, and now I’m picking up after a bunch of monsters tear through my lobby and destroy my vase!”

Elisa blinked. “Did you just say intimidating you?” She pulled out a small notepad. “What were they doing?”

Moseby froze and quickly put on a smile. “Did I say that? No! No, no I meant that they were imitating us, they were trying to open a new hotel and I noted them trying to copy how we run things here at the Tipton.” Elisa’s expression didn’t change. “Not buying it are you?” She shook her head.

“Maza?” Still giving a look at Moseby, Elisa left to talk with Bluestone. “Just got a report from our friendly neighborhood firehouse. You know the Happiness Hotel?”

“The place those Muppets run? What about it?”

“It disappeared.”

Elisa blinked. “Well what did the first engine on the scene say, what do they think happened?”

“No, I mean one second the buildings next to it reported losing their gas, the next they said that the Happiness collapsed into the ground.” Elisa groaned. “You okay?”

“Fine, just, I need to take care of a few things.” Shaking her head. Elisa went to scan the crowd for anyone familiar looking. No sign of anyone made out of felt; no one with looks like they came from San Fransokyo or Florida; no one with eyes bigger than her palms; no one with hair that looked like it came out of a cotton candy machine. Shaking her head, Elisa went back to the hotel lobby and back to Moseby. “Mr. Moseby, did any of the people you say stayed in your lobby have any odd hair colors?”

“One of them did actually,” Moseby said, dejectedly picking up several pieces of a smashed vase. “A young girl, you know I thought she looked rather young to be traveling with several older men on a business trip. Red hair with yellow highlights. Or was it yellow hair with red highlights?”

Elisa nodded, expression grim. “Thank you sir, I think we can work with this.”

Campbell and his team had been lost for a time after they found the Happiness gone, but some of the rats had been waiting to lead them to where the Muppets had decided to hide out at the one place Alice had apparently suggested: 23^rd Precinct clocktower. The place was a madhouse as Muppets, Gargoyles, and four very dour military intelligence agents trying to ignore Bronx yelping as he raced around the clocktower with Animal riding him and Lexington trying to keep Prof. Honeydew from using his personal electronics in his latest experiments.

Campbell chuckled. “Long night Malvin?” The young lieutenant nodded.

“Sykes came to us sir,” Oreldo groaned. “He and some thugs rushed the hotel and things got crazy.”

“Not surprised.” Campbell looked around at the mess and shook his head with a wry grin. “Goliath is up on the parapet?” Martis nodded, ignoring the rest of the Electric Mayhem laying on him to sleep. Walking up to the outside, Campbell found Goliath gazing out over the city. “How was it at the warehouse?”

Goliath smiled as the city night shone around them. “One of them saw us tonight, at least what we wanted him to see. What about the hotel though?”

Campbell turned away and shook his head. “That was on me, I didn’t expect that somehow Xanatos would figure this all out so quickly when I knew we had the advantage on him. Especially since there was no way for either to know we were staying at the Happiness.”

Goliath shook his head. “It seems the pig seamstress was in a relationship with Sykes. She didn’t realize that he was not to know of your location.”

Campbell blinked, then after a few seconds shrugged. “Well I don’t suppose I should be too surprised then. Still, we need to finish this.”

“I don’t believe that MV-9 will be able to,” Goliath said flatly. “Lt. Malvin, she is a warrior of conviction but not stamina. She needs rest, all her team does.”

“Agreed,” Campbell said, looking down over the city. “We still need to figure out what to do about the Muppets though, they can’t stay here -- ”

“Campbell!” Spinning around, Campbell saw a very annoyed Elisa Maza glaring at him. “Care to explain what happened at the Tipton? I thought you said you had everything planned out.”

“I thought I did,” Campbell said, catching Goliath and Elisa off-guard with how fast he said it. “We thought we knew everything but we didn’t. That was our fault. This time we go for the final killing blow.”

“Killing blow?” Goliath’s eyes narrowed. “What do you plan now?”

“The way I imagine it, there’s only one place that Xanatos would keep his most important pieces of equipment and research. Right under the city in fact.”

Goliath nodded. “The Labyrinth.”

“Well whatever you’re about to do make it happen fast,” Elisa said, looking back to the street. “After what happened tonight we’ll need someone to take the blame, and no one has been able to find Bill Sykes.”

Campbell blinked. “He wasn’t with the Muppets?” Goliath shook his head, and Campbell shrugged. “Must be dead then.” Blinking, he shouted down the stairs. “Is Bill Sykes dead?”

“He was in the basement when the gas explosion happened,” Martis shouted. “And when the building collapsed.”

Campbell nodded. “Keep his status as missing then,” he said as he went to the parapet. “I need to talk to both of you though. There’s a suspicion I have about Xanatos, but I need you two here to tell me what doesn’t make sense.”

Elisa laughed. “At this point? Nothing makes sense anymore.”

Campbell shrugged. “You haven’t heard what I’m about to tell you.”

Sunset worked at the board in the science lab along with Twilight, scribbling out what they found out about magic from Goliath’s books. “Okay, so we have innate magics, alchemy, and bending. So the question is, where do these rituals fit in?”

“Well we know they essentially channel magic energy into a specific means of use, some of these spells and rituals even utilize similar circles to the ones MV-2 supplied as examples.” Looking over her notes, Twilight shook her head. “We need to find a way to establish a standard unit of measure for magical energy.”

“Agreed,” Sunset said. “Maybe we can use Applejack and Rarity’s abilities to help with that. Pinkie’s too actually, the energy of the explosion might help us convert the measurements of her explosions into magical power.”

Twilight nodded, then her cell phone started buzzing. “Oh shoot, Korra’s gonna be here soon. Sorry Sunset, I need to change.”

Sunset smiled. “It’s okay, I think we can hold off here for now. So how’s the working out going?”

“Great! I’m already up to an entire lap, and she’s gonna help me work on pullups next week.” Twilight quickly put her things into a locked cabinet and got out of her lab coat. “She says she doesn’t want to start me training for any fighting though, not before she thinks I can take it.”

Sunset smiled as she finished writing out an equation. “That’s great Twilight. I’ll ask Gen. Hammond about getting us some weapons training too, I want us all to be able to help no matter what happens.” Waving as Twilight rushed for the locker rooms, Sunset finished up with her work before walking out into the halls. CHS was quiet now, most of the students were in classes while Sunset and Twilight had a free period. It was getting tricky to juggle things, but the teachers had enough of an understanding about the fact that there were now multiverses involved in the seven girls lives and had agreed to accommodate as best they could. Even if Mr. Cranky had grumbled about, “Stinking excuses.”

Walking through the halls, Sunset saw a familiar face walk through the front door. “Korra!”

“Sunset!” Korra hurried over with a smile on her face. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Just wrapping up working on some information we got from the latest universe,” Sunset said. “It’s great to see you again, how’ve things been for everyone?”

“Well, honestly they’re kinda tricky right now,” Korra said, her smile faltering. “Pres. Raiko is worried we might not be able to make charges against Kuvira stick, and some of the lawyers don’t know how they’re able to convince any judge that you can commit a crime against all of humanity.”

“I know the SGC wouldn’t give you bad information though,” Sunset said, smiling. “Besides, they have to be giving you some guidance on how to handle the case.”

“They are, but it’s something that never happened before. Fire Lord Ozai was tried and held by the Fire Nation, nowhere else. Trying an Earth Confederation subject in the Republic might be tricky, even with King Wu agreeing to act as a mediator.”

Sunset shrugged. “What about everyone else? How’s Asami been doing?”

Korra cringed. “Asami isn’t exactly who I’m worried about right now.”

Sunset puzzled over that for a second. “But I thought she had a lot to deal with lately.”

“Well she did, but now that she’s gotten a few things off her chest she’s fine. Lately it’s Bolin I’m worried about.”

“Why Bolin?”

“You read the files right?” Sunset nodded. “So you know Kuvira was making camps to put people in?” Another nod. “It turns out in SG-1’s world, there was something like that, and it got worse. Bolin’s been dealing with a bad side to A is A.”

“Oh wow,” Sunset said. “I guess we never really considered that did we?”

“It’s okay, he just probably needs some time to ease off what he found out.” Korra smiled again. “Is Twilight already at the field?”

“She’s changing now,” Sunset said.

“Well today’s gonna be a short session,” Korra said. “Gen. Hammond said you all need to get back to the SGC as soon as you can. Capt. Campbell is gonna wrap things up in New York.”

Sunset paused, then nodded. “I’ll let everyone know.”

“This was the best you could do?” Arwin smiled happily next to Moseby, finished with wiring up the computer. “Arwin you said you could make just as good a front desk without needing a contractor.”

“And I think I did,” Arwin said, patting his creation. “Now everyone will know we have the most unique lobby in all New York.”

Moseby was about to unload when he saw several familiar faces walk into the hotel; two men with close-cut hair, a scarred giant, and a girl with red-and-yellow hair. Jaw dropping, he quickly hurried out from behind the desk. Ignoring that the four were followed in by a large group of people. “You four!” Sunset and Randel froze, but Becker and Gantz broke into smiles when he hurried over. “You four, you have a lot to answer for! Destruction of hotel property, theft of services, and possibly even false identity!”

Becker threw his arms out. “Herr Moseby!” Laughing, he wrapped his arms around the man. “It’s so good to see you again!”

Moseby blinked, trying to figure out what was happening as he pushed Becker back. “Stop it, stop it, what is happening here?”

“Explanations sir,” one of the men said, Moseby realizing that he was the man who’d taken the thugs out of the Tipton and stopped the extortion of his hotel. “Now, we…” The man turned to the front desk, then started laughing. “Cardboard! Arwin, I love it, no other hotel in the city will have anything like it!” Arwin puffed out his chest a little.

Moseby groaned. “Arwin, call the police right now and -- ” The German man squeezed Moseby a little harder. “Ack! Stop, stop, let me go please!”

“Actually we wanted to explain what’s been happening sir,” Campbell said. “We’ll need a conference room.”

Moseby shook his head incredulously. “What on earth would possibly convince me to -- ” Becker gave another squeeze. “AGGGHHHlright alright fourth floor!”

An hour later, Moseby was staring gape-jawed at a rather serene-looking Campbell. “And now we have to finish this sir,” Campbell said, wrapping up his recap. “We know where the breaking point is; we apply pressure there and he crumbles.” Moseby squeaked. “Yes, exactly.”

Moseby gasped, and his head slammed down on the conference table. Sunset and her friends cringed at the hit. “Let’s presume I believe any of this. Why are you telling me?”

“Well a roundabout apology really,” Campbell said, shrugging. “But also as a request. You see we need to strike this position, but we need a backup plan in case something goes wrong.”

Moseby’s head shot up, his eyes nearly out of his sockets. “No, no, you are not using the Tipton as a kind of military staging base!”

“Mr. Moseby, please, I know this must be a lot to take in,” Sunset said. “It’s very confusing, but if we can’t fight from somewhere in-universe you’ll be in danger.”

“You’ve already put me in danger! My lobby is made of cardboard!”

The door to the conference room opened, and to 1^st Platoon’s surprise London was standing in it. “Oh, there you are Moseby.”

Moseby blinked. “London?” Shooting up he hurried to the door. “What are you doing out of your room?”

“Oh, I have to walk my new babies.” Opening the door a little more, she revealed the two armored and laser-armed thylacines panting at the door. “Just wanted to let you know before I left.”

Moseby’s jaw dropped again, Campbell starting to wonder if the man’s jaw was going to break or at least get sore. “You’re going outside? London you haven’t gone outside in months!”

London shrugged, suddenly looking sad. “I know, but after what happened with that guy in the really ugly metal suit?” She made a quick disgusted look. “Well I kinda realized that I was missing out on a lot. I mean if fashion has gotten that bad I have got to get back out and set an example.” Sunset and Alice both looked to Campbell, who threw up his hands and smiled.

Moseby struggled for a few moments. “Just…Just stay near the hotel, alright? I don’t want anything else to happen to you.”

London smiled, hugging Moseby before she realized there were other people in the room. “Oh, aren’t these the people that were in the hotel the other night?”

“We are miss,” Campbell said. “We were just asking Mr. Moseby for a place to stay until we finish our job in the city.”

London looked to Moseby. “Is this true?” Moseby started to speak; London kept going. “Well we’re going to give them some rooms right?” He tried to say something again. “Because if daddy finds out that we’re denying the people who helped me get out of my room after only one night after months of inner torment and psychological distress, he’ll be very unhappy.” Smiling innocently, London turned out the door with her two new pets loyally following behind her. Once again losing from his loyalty, Moseby slumped into his chair.

Campbell waited a few seconds, trying very hard to look understanding but unable to fight the grin creeping across his face. “Well, we’ll see ourselves to the suites.” As Campbell led the teams out of the room, he turned to Weber. “Call Det. Maza, tell her we need to meet with her and the clan as soon as possible to explain what we’re going to do.” Weber nodded, and Campbell turned to Sunset. “It's been a rough mission on you and yours, I hope you’re ready.”

Sunset nodded. “For anything, captain. For anything.”

“So you think this tip is legit?”

Elisa nodded, parking her car out front of the Tipton. “They knew case details only someone there would have. Plus, they said that they have information connecting Sykes to Xanatos.” Parking out front, she handed her keys to the valet and took her number as the doorman opened the way for the four officers. “I know they’re the real deal.”

Moving inside and pausing at the sight of a cardboard front desk, Elisa led the way to a damaged elevator that had one door that looked like it belonged in a five-star luxury hotel, and one door that looked like it’d be pried off a warehouse freight elevator. The four officers shared a look, Morgan and Travanti wondering just what the hell had been happening while they tried to piece together the evidence of everything that had happened over the past month.

Arriving at the top floor, Elisa followed the directions she’d been given on the phone to the presidential suite, checking her watch to make sure the time was right. “Eight on the dot.” Taking a breath, she knocked hard on the door.

The door cracked slightly, a grizzled voice asking, “Det. Maza? NYPD?”

“You’re the contact?”

“Hang on.” The door shut, and after a few seconds of unlocking, opened up on a massive suite. “C’mon in.”

Elisa walked in confidently, though her three partners followed more hesitantly. Understandable, given that it looked like there was no one else inside. That they knew of.

“Okay, we’re here,” Elisa said, annoyed as she glared around the suite. “Might as well get it over with.”

Before Bluestone could ask what she was talking about, he heard a growl behind him. Spinning, he saw a massive creature coming toward him on the floor. Morgan tried to draw his weapon when a creature with leather brown wings and a mane of white hair grabbed his hand. Travanti gasped, but backed into a massive light blue beast. A smaller dark green creature with a round head crawled across the ceiling, hissing as he scurried over them.

The doors to the rest of the suite opened, revealing a group of armed individuals that smiled as they emerged. To end it all, a final massive shape landed on the balcony outside and strode through the open doors. The three detectives backed into each other, trying to prepare themselves for the inevitable when Bluestone noticed Elisa shaking her head and chuckling. “Okay, okay, show’s over everyone.”

As the armed group dispersed about the suite, the white eyes of the monsters turned human. Even the monster on four legs suddenly started acting more like a dog than a beast from the nightmares of a child. Trying to keep his breathing under control, Bluestone turned to Elisa. “Partner, you want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Matt, you remember Goliath,” Elisa said, patting the massive creature on the shoulder. “The rest of these fine people are new friends we made last month. The reason that Bill Sykes won’t be giving the city any more trouble.”

“Two nights, wait, you mean these are the lunatics that destroyed the Happiness?”

A giant with scars across his face held up his hands. “I swear I didn’t mean to!”

“And wait, you two both knew about these…” Morgan tried to figure out the right words. “You both knew about them? You think maybe you could’ve told us?”

“If I can speak?” The man had a hard Scottish accent, trying to look as peaceable as he could as he stepped forward. “We’re sorry you all had to be given a fake assignment, but we’re in pursuit of a larger goal. Just let me explain?”

Bluestone glared, but slowly his hand came away from his weapon. “Fine. Start talking.”

It was nearly midnight, and by the time Matt Bluestone was satisfied they’d needed a dozen room service orders, several pizza deliveries, five Chinese deliveries, and some pad Thai. Bluestone whistled as he leaned back in his seat, trench coat draped over the back as he took in everything he’d just heard. “So, what do you plan on doing now?”

“The Labyrinth,” Campbell said. “Whatever’s down there is the answer to why Xanatos went in on organized crime so aggressively, along with everything else that’s happened since he apparently decided to press his advantages.”

“It won’t be so simple a task as you seem to imagine,” Goliath warned. “What waits down there will be more dangerous than you can possibly fathom.”

“Well we have three advantages. First, we know what might be down there. Xanatos doesn’t know.” Campbell nodded to Sunset. “Two, we have our own failsafe right there. Even if we get turned around, she’ll be able to guide us out in case we lose our way. And third, we have our trump card.” The captain smiled up at Randel.

Sunset’s face paled. “Uh, how is he our trump card?”

“Xanatos is expecting some fancy magic act, or high-tech piece that would be countered by interference or an EMP. What he probably doesn’t expect is someone like our good corporal Oland here.”

Goliath nodded. “What about our assistance?”

“Won’t be needing it,” Campbell said, smiling at the looks on confusion. “Right now the NYPD is undoubtedly re-evaluating their decision to create a ‘vigilante’ task force after a night involving attacks on two hotels, clearly the work of organized crime elements rather than some crazed vigilantes. Add to that the ranking boss of the city is missing, and the criminals of New York are leaderless. We’ll handle the last steps of taking care of Xanatos. Detective, respectfully you need to present your case that your current task needs to be refocused on ensuring that the city’s criminal element can’t regain superiority ever again. As for the Manhattan clan?” Campbell jerked a thumb out the window. “Time’s wasting out there if you want to keep them cowering under their covers.”

Goliath smiled. “I still don’t think I understand everything about what’s transpired these nights William Campbell, but you do your clan name proud.”

Campbell let out a breath. “After Glencoe, my family name could use it.”

“So what about us,” Morgan said, gesturing to himself and Travanti. “We’re supposed to just go along with this kind of mess?”

Elisa shook her head. “You don’t have to, but we could use both of your help on this one. We both know that ADA Yale would want to lock up the clan, not let them help us.”

Morgan and Travanti shared a look. “No deaths," Morgan said, glaring at the clan leader. "If you’re just gonna scare the thugs and rats, fine. But if you start hurting anyone, we’ll have issues.”

Goliath nodded. “You have my word: No human will suffer unduly from our actions.”

Campbell clapped his hands. “We’ll be there at dawn; it’ll be safer to handle this once Xanatos is asleep.”

The detectives looked over in confusion as Bluestone asked the obvious question. “What do you mean asleep?”

Campbell grinned. “I’ll explain that once this is all handled. For now, you’d all better leave before Mr. Moseby decides to really throw us out. Technically we’re only here because of the good graces of the Tipton family.”

Groaning, Bluestone rose and threw his coat back on. “If this doesn’t pan out, you’ll answer to me.” Campbell gave the detective an incredulous look, Bluestone sighing. “Right, that must sound pretty hollow to you.”

“I don’t hold it against you,” Campbell said. As the detectives walked out, he nodded to Elisa. “We’ll make sure to tell you what happens after detective, the very first thing.”

“You’d better,” Elisa said. “Tomorrow morning I’m gonna have to sit down with my captain and explain why we need to focus on organized crime.” Turning toward the door, she waved over her shoulder. “One chance, Campbell. After that, you’re out.”

With the detectives out of the suite, Campbell rose and turned to everyone. “Alright, the lot of you get some sleep, we only have a few hours to work with before we get moving in the morning. I want team leaders to make sure we’re ready for tomorrow come what may.” As the teams saw to themselves, Campbell turned to Goliath. “If we don’t get back to you in two nights, presume the worst. Xanatos will be the reason. You’ll know what needs to be done.”

Goliath nodded, his expression grim. “You think it will come to that?”

“Keep backups for your backups,” Campbell said. “If anything happens, make sure that we don’t lose New York.” Goliath nodded, and led his clan back out into the city night.

“Capt. Campbell?” Turning, Campbell saw Sunset looking nervously around the room. “Are you absolutely sure about this plan you have?”

“As far as we know your empathic ability hasn’t found a range limit yet. I need you to help lead us out if we need you to. Absolute worst-case scenario we fall back to the SGC, we can’t afford to let the truth down in this facility slip through our grasp.”

Sunset nodded hesitantly. “I mean I know you know what you’re doing, but it just feels like we’re taking an unnecessary risk.”

“The Labyrinth contains several dozen hidden pieces of advanced biotechnology, even possible classified government works.” Stretching out as the teams went to sleep, he went to the kitchen and took a drink of decaf coffee. “We need to take down whatever we can find before we turn it over, between Maj. Carter’s research and your own efforts we might be able to gain something useful for the future.”

“This is still just so risky,” Sunset said. “You want to put us down there alone with -- ”

Campbell blinked. “Alone?”

“I mean without any support,” Sunset said. “We should try to have the police help us, and Pres. Martinez said he’s on our side.”

“He also said we’re on our own anyway,” Campbell said, finishing his cup. “Get some sleep Sunset, we’re going to have a long day tomorrow.”

Biting her tongue as Campbell left, Sunset went and tried to desperately drop into sleep. Even when she fell unconscious there was no rest.

Xanatos threw the paper across the room, glaring at Owen. “Sykes is dead and the Pack is missing. Can you tell me what’s happened or will you even bother lying to me?”

“You know I’m bound to serve sir,” Owen said flatly. “You specifically told me to keep your operations separate from anything related to any criminal actions in the city.”

“Not at the expense of said operations,” Xanatos growled. “The warehouse strike is worse, now the thugs know the clan is active again and they’ll already be spreading stories.”

“Then perhaps the time is right to remove yourself -- ” Xanatos slammed his fist onto his desk. “Of course, sir. I’ll handle your things for the day.”

Xanatos checked the time. Only twenty minutes until sunrise, then he’d have to wait for the chance to right this ship before it sank. “Owen? Where’s my wife?”

“Out sir,” Owen said as he walked out. “She mentioned getting started on some matters of importance to your continued operations in the city.”

Xanatos nodded, accepting what was coming and thinking to his next move. “Very good. I’ll see you soon Owen.” Staring out the window, he took in the rising sun and shut his eyes.

The facility was only blocked off from the world by a rusting chain-link fence with a faded metal sign reading: “NO TRESPASSING: VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW”. Campbell smiled as Applejack easily pulled the chain across the gate off. “Remember, this place is a maze. Becker, Gantz, I want both of you out here with Twilight to keep watch. Corporal Oland, I want you and Sunset on a team together.” Sunset seemed to freeze for a second, and the wheels started to turn in Campbell’s mind. “Later Will, later.” “Durand, I want you to take two and hold the first junction we come to. Rarity, you’ll stay with him. Put up a barrier that keeps anything inside there and not out into the city.”

Rarity blinked. “Do you have any ideas of what those things might look like?”

“Not in the least. Pinkie, keep your explosions minimal, even with this facility being built to last I don’t want anything coming down on us. Rainbow, take a torch. Scout ahead of your section, and get back before you get into any fights.” Checking his SMG, he took one last look at the unassuming door before him. “Alright, stack up and stand ready.”

Applejack stood at the door, waiting as Weber counted down on her hands. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Gripping the edges of the door, she ripped it back with a metallic groaning and held the door before her like a shield. The teams waited, then Rainbow zipped in and out. “All clear.”

Campbell nodded. “By twos, move.”

The entrance wasn’t quite narrow, but it certainly wasn’t wide enough to let them move effectively in numbers. Garcia and Belenko moved fast down the corridor, noting that it gently sloped downward so gradually that when they finally came to the first junction they guessed they were a quarter mile below the city.

Campbell looked it over. “Three paths. Sunset, can you still detect the three at the entrance?”

Sunset thought for a second as she clutched her necklace. “Yes, but it’s a little faint.”

“And anything else?”

Sunset paused. There was something, no, a small group of somethings in the tunnels? Every other second she thought she felt someone only for the sensation to vanish. Wait, not vanish, be replaced by another. “Something, I’m not sure what though. It definitely isn’t friendly.”

Campbell nodded. “Rarity, keep the barrier up as long as you can, give it five hours then go back. Pinkie, stay with her and keep the way clear if anything comes after you. Sergeant, take the left. Lieutenant, the right Hold at the nearest junctions and keep watch. Corporal, Sunset, lead down the center. We’ll find whatever guard dogs Xanatos has in here and end them.”

Sunset steeled herself and went on, giving one last desperate look to her friends before driving forward with Campbell, Vogt, Belenko…And Cpl. Oland.

Compared to the city, the interior of the Labyrinth was ugly, almost like it was warning them from going further. The walls were rusting or stained, and the small lights spaced through the corridor were either broken intermittently, flickering, or barely able to put out enough light to walk by. She felt like they were trespassing in a space that only considered them food going down a gullet. The only sounds were the footsteps they made passing through, the troopers keeping their weapons ready as they moved. Cpl. Oland looked more unsure, nervously following the troopers through the corridor like a scared little kid.

There was a junction ahead; one path straight ahead, one at an angle to the left and one leading right. Campbell tapped his head. “Vogt, take point and move on. Sunset, keep trying to find where those people are. Cpl. Oland, I want you and Sunset talking as we move. Once she finds something, you get ready on that lantern.”

Sunset shuddered and kept walking, until she couldn’t ignore Randel looking to her expectantly. “They’re spread out, I don’t know where they’re trying to get to but they’re definitely…Wait, something’s coming through.” Sunset paused, but suddenly couldn’t make sense of what she was sensing. “Hungry?”

Randel blinked. “Do you think that these are people who got lost down here?”

“Maybe, but their minds just feel so jumbled, it’s like there’s dozens of competing things fighting each other to be dominant.”

“Dozens?” Randel suddenly shuddered. “You mean like people put pieces of other brains into one skull?”

Sunset paused. “I really hope not.”

The corridor suddenly opened up onto what Sunset realized was an abandoned subway station, old décor from the turn of the century fading and rusting and being left to  oblivion. The name of the station had been gone for some time, the tiles fallen away and half-covered by graffiti that was left unfinished for reasons Sunset didn’t want to think too hard about.

Suddenly one of the sensations became excited more than anything else, sending up a flare in Sunset’s mind too close to ignore. “Everyone freeze!” The entire group froze, the troopers scanning the station. “Something’s excited, it’s still strange but it just got excited just after we came in.”

Campbell nodded. “Corporal, hit the lantern. Everyone else find a corner and keep your weapons out, I’ll cover the ceiling.”

Sunset barely heard anything beyond the mention of the lantern. “Are you sure we need the lantern?”

“Yes, I’m sure, now get to that corner now!”

Sunset watched as Randel slowly moved to flip his lantern on. “I just think maybe I can have a shot to speak to these people.”

“These aren’t people we’re dealing with; if you’re not reading normal emotions we need to prepare to fight. Corporal, hit your lantern.”

Sunset shook her head. Even as the constantly swapping emotions from whatever they were facing kept her mind from focusing she didn’t want to be so close when Randel opened his lantern. “Please just let me try to talk to them!” Campbell shook his head, and with an annoyed glare grabbed Sunset’s collar and pulled her into the nearest corner. “Weapons up, I’ll take the ceiling.”

Sunset’s head was pounding. It was enough that the sensation from whoever was with them had emotions pounding like a strobe light in her mind’s eye. If Randel hit his lantern she didn’t imagine what she’s feel this close. “Let me just have one chance to -- ”

“One-on-one!” Sunset instantly isolated her mind between herself and Campbell. “If there is something you need to tell me about Oland’s use of that thing you’d better tell me now.”

“I just don’t know how to explain it -- ”

“Then shut it and let it work for us, you’ll explain after we get out of here! If you can’t do your job Sunset, then you’d best go back to the SGC.”

Sunset didn’t notice her breathing getting faster, or the shake in her arms. She just shut her eyes, closed her ears, and tried to shut everything out.

Campbell saw it just before Randel opened his lantern; a creature clinging to a girder above the rusted tracks. It was near-formless in the shadows, but he could make out the general shape. Massive wings behind a broad chest, with powerful legs hanging down as if they were set to snare any unwary traveler. Then as Randel opened the lantern, the eyes reflected enough light that Campbell could’ve forgiven anyone for thinking they were glowing.

Randel didn’t think that; with the lantern open he saw a threat. Drawing his pistol he was loading a round when the creature roared at him. Throwing itself from the girder the monster soared at Randel; his mind analyzed everything coldly and near-instantly. Muscular. Sharp fangs. Talons. Wings. Roughly an equal physical match; no match for the Door Knocker. The beast tried to reach out of Randel’s neck, but the massive soldier grabbed the monster’s arm and swung it into a steel column. Randel nearly had the Door Knocker at the monster’s head when the beast gripped Randel’s wrist.

The current ripped through Randel’s body, and before he could pull away something broke in his head. His mind went blank, and Sunset’s mind erupted. It was like the black hole that was there had suddenly erupted into another strobe, brighter than the one from the monster. Randel screamed, and Sunset didn’t think it was such a bad thing to do right now herself.

Campbell watched as Claw electrocuted Randel, but as the corporal fell away he raised his SMG and fired. Claw roared out, but between the three SMGs pumping him full of rounds in the chest and head the monster collapsed in a bloody heap atop Randel’s grunting body. Shaking off the hit, Randel struggled to stand on his own as Vogt and Belenko kept their weapons on Claw’s body. “Easy, easy now Oland,” Campbell said, shutting the lantern. “I need you to breathe, just breathe for me lad.”

Randel’s eyes were wide, darting around trying to figure out what just happened. Shooting up, he shook his head out and tried to go for his lantern. Campbell grabbed the man’s hand and shook his head. “No, not today corporal, you’re good.” Looking back, he saw Sunset grabbing at her head, but she was staring at Randel like she was trying to puzzle out what just happened. “We’ll hold here a moment, everyone just breathe. Sunset, status on the other teams?”

“They’re nervous, but still moving,” Sunset said. “And they both have those other minds coming for them.”

Campbell nodded. “Send it.”

“Can…yone hear…e?”

Weber held the team. Sunset’s voice in her head was faint, but at least she got the idea. She motioned for everyone to get down and waited.

“Yo…th have someth…your way…get ready…an you…ar me?”

“This is Weber, you’re spotty but we hear you. Holding position and waiting for encounter.” “Did everyone hear that?”

Rainbow Dash nodded excitedly. “What should I do?”

“Scout ahead, tell us what’s coming, and get back,” Weber said, glaring at Rainbow and speaking with a voice that didn’t broach argument. “We need information, not trouble. See it, then get back.”

Rainbow nodded. “Got it.” One second she was there, then five seconds later she was back. Only the Rainbow that came back looked terrified. “I don’t know what’s going on, but there’s an alligator-man down there!”

Weber blinked. “Alligator man?”

“That’s what it looked like,” Rainbow said, eyes wide as she pointed back down the tunnel. “It was big and scaly, but it was walking on two legs! I mean what kind of alligator can walk?”

Weber’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t think the girl was lying, she didn’t even think MV-7 was capable of it. There was just one problem: There was no alligator mutate in the series. “Some kind of addition from a continuation? Then why don’t we know about it?”

“Pinkie, I want you to throw your explosives on my order,” Weber said. “Rainbow, how far away was it?”

“Probably two hundred yards straight down,” Rainbow said. “He wasn’t moving very fast, but I don’t know how fast an alligator-man can actually go.”

“Then get ready,” Weber said, putting the selector on full-auto. “Fire on my order.”

The wait stretched on; it was ten minutes before they heard the padding of the monster down the corridor. The footfalls were heavy, plodding, but driven by hunger as they echoed along. Weber didn’t flinch; it was no different than waiting to ambush a PAC mechanized patrol. It was powerful, and it could kill. But only if it could strike first.

The plodding footsteps got close enough that Weber could hear a growling ahead. Shouldering her SMG, she sighted in down the hall. That was when the beast rounded a corner. “Fire.”

The bullets ripped through the corridor, and a massive roar was cut off by a thud on the floor. Looking to Russo and Lee, Weber motioned for them to move forward and check. The two made a combat glide across the floor, moving in near-silence ahead. As they moved, Weber took the creature in; Rainbow was right, it had been some kind of alligator-man. It still wore slacks, torn and dirtied as they were, but she noticed that there were dried bloodstains all over them as Baker put a coup de grâce through the thing’s skull to make sure it was dead.

“Holy cow,” Rainbow whispered. “What was that thing?”

“A mutate,” Weber said, almost like she was talking about a piece of gear. “Humans modified with animal DNA, hybrids. Very dangerous.”

Rainbow’s eyes lit up. “Because of the animal DNA?”

“No, that’s not it,” Weber said. “They’ve gone feral.”

Rainbow paused, watching as Weber went up to the creature. “But why?”

Weber knelt down next to the corpse and pulled at the slacks. “Have you ever heard of The Island of Dr. Moreau?”

Sunset’s voice sounded in everyone’s head. “More…oming…hungry!”

Weber swapped magazines. “Everyone take positions.”

Rainbow grinned. “So now I get to -- ”

Weber didn’t answer. The second a target came into view, five rounds had already found their way into the eye sockets.

Alice swapped a fresh magazine into her pistol as a monster looking like an insect tried to charge her team. The worst part was that it seemed smaller than the others, but she couldn’t afford to dwell on that now. “Applejack, we need to try and link up with Capt. Campbell.”

Applejack blinked. “How? Even if we tunnel through the walls it might collapse half the city on us!”

Alice cursed. “Underground, right. Alright, we can’t fall back without risking the positions for the other teams and we can’t stay here. We need to push forward.”

Oreldo cursed. “Shit! Ma’am, respectfully that’s a dangerous idea!”

Applejack shuddered. “It might be our best option. But it’ll get messy, I’m not gonna lie.”

Alice nodded. “Get us to the center of this labyrinth Applejack, we need to survive.”

Applejack nodded, and letting her geode’s power course through her body she set her sights ahead. “Cover me on the sides.” Charging forward, Applejack charged up to the nearest mutate, a former human that looked like they’d been crossed with a snake. As the creature tried to wrap itself around her Applejack grabbed the monster’s neck and with a single squeeze broke the connection between brain and body. The snake-man collapsed on the floor, hissing desperately for air as Applejack literally put her fist through the face of a mutate that looked like it had been created with rat DNA. “C’mon, we need to get moving!”

Alice unsheathed her dagger, her pistol in her left hand as she followed behind. Any creature that somehow survived she cut down, Oreldo and Martis firing behind her as they moved. “Sunset, we’re going to try and push forward, tell Capt. Campbell we’re trying to go for the center.” She didn’t hear a reply; she didn’t need to.

The corridors of the Labyrinth were stained, no, painted with blood, Applejack putting so much power into her blows that mutates went flying into each other, landing hard enough that they put dents in the walls. Even super-advanced genetic science can’t beat physics, each hit shattering bones and cracking skulls. The mutates left wounded howled and screamed, at least until they were finished by pistols or Alice’s blade.

Twists, turns, tunnels barely lit and a room that Alice swore was covered in near-primitive art as she ran by. Applejack was a pure unstoppable force; a gorilla-man tried to grab at her, only to get swung into a girder with enough for that his neck was left bent at an angle that made Martis shudder. “Lieutenant, do what happens when we reach a dead end?”

“We hold and draw attention away from the others,” Alice shouted. “Capt. Campbell can use the distraction to -- ”

“Lieutenant, I ain’t in your chain so I’ll speak honestly,” Applejack shouted. “That’s a dumb idea and you know it. I don’t aim on dying down here, neither are your two men.” Pausing, Applejack sent her foot through a jaguar-woman’s collarbone, putting the monster beside herself. “We need to pull back to where we started.”

Alice shook her head. “No, we need to press on!”

Applejack groaned. “Shoot, that tears it.” Picking up the bigger half of the jaguar-woman, Applejack threw the corpse at a monkey-man and grabbed Alice. “C’mon you two, we need to get outta here faster than a cricket in a candy factory.”

Oreldo blinked. “What does that even mean!?”

Campbell kept pushing forward, firing off bursts as Randel and Sunset stumbled behind him. Randel was being dragged by Vogt and Belenko, both troopers forced to fire their weapons with one hand as they tried to not buckle under the weight of the corporal. Firing on what looked like a turtle-man, Campbell cursed as the shell shattered but didn’t drop the creature. “Corporal, need you here!” Randel grunted, reaching for his lantern.

Sunset gasped, falling to the floor. As the blue light shone out again, the black hole was back. To her terror, it was deeper and darker than before.

TOTEN SIE!

It was back, but louder this time. Not just louder, it kept repeating. There was no thought about it, no second guessing, just loading the Door Knocker and putting it to the turtle-thing’s head. A second later there was no head. Reloading, he ignored the roars from a bull-man that towered and reached into the thing’s mouth. Not even grunting, he pulled the monster’s tongue from the mouth in one quick rip of blood and tissue. He shoved his weapon into the head of a monster of an animal he’d never seen before, put the barrel in the eye socket and fired. As the bull-man staggered about, gurgling on its bloody mouth and trying to stem the flow. It didn’t matter, because another round from the Door Knocker blasted the other side of the monster’s head out.

The monsters held back, suddenly cowed by the reality of a greater predator in the room. Campbell nodded, about to press forward until he saw that the monsters were parting aside farther to the back. A pair of creatures moved through the shadows, taking form as they entered the chamber Campbell’s team was in. They were both feline-mixed mutates, one with brown fur while the other was black furred. Both were covered in scars, wearing what barely counted as rags as they came forward. The one with black fur had a massive scar across the left side of his muzzle, healed but certainly bad when it had happened. Campbell slowly lowered his weapon. “Derek.”

The mutate with the scar snarled. “That is no longer my name.”

Campbell nodded. “Talon then. We know who you were though.”

The brown-furred mutate growled at Campbell. “Enough, we know why they’re down here, let’s end the farce.”

Campbell shook his head. “You see him?” He jerked a thumb at Randel. “You know a superior predator when you see one. Stand down, we can talk.”

Sunset fought through her discomfort to keep listening as Derek/Talon growled. “You came into my territory, kill my followers, and wish to talk?”

“We believed that we could talk,” Campbell said, his voice flat and free of anger. “We still can, we’re looking for the center of the Labyrinth.”

“You’ll never find it,” the brown-furred monster snarled. “You’re nothing but our next me -- ”

“Corporal, shut him up.”

The round tore through the head of the belligerent mutate, leaving Talon standing silent in the crowd of his kind. “We want to talk to you Talon,” Campbell said, softening his voice a little. “Your family is still out there, your sister is still out there. She would still call you her brother no matter what’s happened. No matter what you’ve been forced to do to survive.”

Talon roared back. “I have no sister, I have no family but the Labyrinth! And if he isn’t with you, then you’re only down here to serve as our next meal!”

Campbell gritted his teeth, shouldering his SMG and firing the second he had any kind of sight. Talon tried to lunge forward, but he stumbled as the rounds climbed his chest and collapsed halfway in his rush against Campbell. Stone faced, Campbell stared down at Talon for a moment, shaking his head as he looked up glaring at the other mutates. “All of you understand me. Let the other teams pass. And stay here, forever. If you ever leave for the surface, you’ll answer to us.” He nodded to Randel. “Especially him.” The mutates backed away, several scurrying away like the rats they were combined with. “Corporal, shut the lantern.”

As Randel came back, Campbell glared at the man. “You’re going back to the SGC for a psych eval. You too Sunset, who knows what you’ve been seeing in his head.”

Sunset stared down at the dead mutates, and their body parts scattered everywhere in crimson stains. “Doesn’t matter what I see in his head, I just need to see what he does with his gun.”

Applejack was getting exhausted when the mutates started backing off. “Well that’s lucky. I was getting tuckered out.”

Martis leaned against the nearest wall. “You and me both. Lieutenant, what now?”

Alice took a few seconds, surveying the carnage. Applejack’s hands were like the corridor; dripping with blood. Checking her pistol, she sighed, “The way’s clear. Oreldo, keep a watch on our rear. We’re pushing forward.” Steeling herself, she went on. Trying to ignore that every step sounded like she was walking through a puddle.

Pushing through the remains of their attackers, the small group was turned around at least three times in the Labyrinth until they finally found Capt. Campbell and Sgt. Weber, both of their teams waiting at the entrance to a larger chamber that was different from all the others. It was well lit.

Campbell pointed to Alice and signaled her to wait. “Why aren’t we using our thoughts?” Silence. Alice was worried now. She didn’t know why Sunset suddenly wasn’t using her abilities to communicate, but the haunting look in Sunset’s eye convinced her that it wouldn’t do anything good to ask why out loud.

Looking back. Campbell pointed to Weber and motioned for her to follow him. As the two strode in, Alice peered around the corner to see what looked like a laboratory; it was nothing like the SGC’s capabilities, but it was impressive. Desks with built-in computers and controls, a bank of monitors with cameras observing nearly all of the labyrinth. There was a green light coming from one side of the room, but from where Alice stood she could see the source without exposing her face to whatever might be inside.

Campbell stopped. Glaring at the desk in the center of the room, he called out, “No point in hiding. We know how this works.”

Two shapes jumped out from behind the desk, one of them winged but both clearly female. A woman with red hair and a blue facial tattoo grinned at Campbell, in her right hand a chain that led up to another mutate. It was a female, with a bat’s wings and long dusky hair. “So, we finally meet -- ”

Campbell and Weber opened up, riddling the bodies with rounds until their magazines were empty. Swapping out, they finished another set before Campbell called out, “Clear.”

As the teams rushed in, Alice saw Randel’s face. “Corporal? What happened, are you hurt?”

Randel shook his head. “No, just a little out of sorts ma’am,” Randel said. “One of those monsters shocked me, I guess I just need a little while to get myself together.”

Alice nodded. “I understand corporal.” She never noticed Sunset glaring at the both of them.

Martis followed Russo up as Campbell knelt over the body of the woman. “Well comandante, is it what you thought?”

As Martis watched, Campbell took his combat knife out at started to skin the woman’s face. Martis was about to call Campbell out for defacing a corpse, until he noticed that the skin was peeling away to reveal a different face beneath. The face he was peeling away was fair, with a blue tattoo. The face beneath was tanned, and there was no trace of a tattoo. “Worse, I don’t know who this is. At least this confirms what we were thinking,” Campbell said, looking relieved. “It wasn’t really Fox or Xanatos.”

Martis couldn’t explain it, he just felt something snap. “Sir,” he said, his voice trembling as he tried to keep control. “Maybe I’m just not getting something, but why are you so calm?”

Campbell blinked. “What do you mean?”

“This! All of this!” Martis pointed at the body with two faces. “You didn’t react like this was shocking! Back at the hotel, you just accepted that there were singing dancing felt creatures! You sang along with them! Somehow you’re fine with the fact that there are drawings walking around with real people! I mean look at us!” Martis grabbed at his own sleeve. “You’re not disturbed that this happened? Why are you acting like this is okay!”

Campbell blinked, looking to Weber before turning back to Martis. “Why isn’t it?” As Martis just stared, Campbell scanned the back wall behind the central desk. Alice saw it too as she led the others inside the room; a massive black rectangle that several clusters of wires and pipes joined at. Running a hand over every inch of the sides, Campbell smiled as he pressed a button. The rectangle split at the middle, the top half of it running up to reveal three massive tubes inside. In the three, left to right, were a man, woman, and infant secured in a fluid mixture backlit in green.

Alice gasped. “But…Captain that’s…”

“David Xanatos,” Campbell said, smiling, as he walked past the tubes. “Along with his wife Fox, and their son Alexander.”

Sunset’s jaw dropped. “But how!? He was in the White House wasn’t he? How’d he wind up here?”

“One of his sins put him here,” Campbell said, checking each tube. There was a control panel for each one, as he studied them Campbell pointed to the desks. “Check for any files, grab what we can for study. If Nod already has advanced biotech we need to know whatever we can to counter them.” His men quickly set to work, Sunset watching as each trooper near-instantly gained access to every computer and terminal. In seconds they managed to seize dozens of floppy discs. As they finished, Campbell nodded and pressed a green button on each panel, one after the other.

The fluid drained, the infant supported by a small seat in his chamber. The glass surrounding them slid down into the floor, and David Xanatos slowly blinked awake. Blinking a few times, he took in the sight of the bloodied group surrounding him, then saw his wife and child. Much to the embarrassment of Sunset, Applejack, and Rainbow, he didn’t seem to care that he was nude as he moved to shield his wife and child from harm however he could. “Well, suffice to say you have me at a distinct disadvantage here.”

“Mr. Xanatos,” Campbell said, holding out a hand. “Capt. William Campbell, 1^st Multiversal Reconnaissance Team, Multiversal Task Force.”

Xanatos nodded, hesitantly taking the offered hand. “I can only imagine how hard that is to fit on a business card." The woman groaned, and Xanatos turned to help her out. “Careful Fox, we don’t know how long we were in there.”

“Alex,” she said, forcing herself to stand up. “Where’s Alexander?” Turning, Xanatos moved aside as Fox took her slowly-waking son into her arms. “The Labyrinth? When did we get down here?”

“I think I can explain,” Campbell said. “First, we need to get you three out of here.”

Xanatos’ eyebrow nearly shot off of his head. “As much as I’d love to test the boundaries of the city’s laws, I think I need some clothes.”

Campbell nodded, his smile faltering. “Right, clothes. Uh, give us an hour?”

The sun set, and Thailog shook off the stone surrounding his body. He expected to turn and see Shari waiting. What he didn’t expect was a man glaring at him with an SMG pointed at his head. “What -- ”

Campbell cut the clone down; the windows hadn’t shattered, he knew that Xanatos would make sure they were bulletproof. Without Xanatos in statsis, the disguise had failed. What was once the disguise of a man had become an image of what looked to Sunset like a photo-negative of Goliath with a shock of white hair.

“So, you knew it was Thailog,” Xanatos said. “The question is, how?”

“Process of elimination,” Campbell said, removing the magazine from his weapon and clearing the chamber. “It wasn’t Demona, it was too patient. The Hollywood Clan would just try to terrorize the city, and Sevarius might be skilled but he’s only at best a follower.”

“Well I don’t understand,” Alice said, watching from the entrance to the office with Sunset and Fox. “Why keep Mr. Xanatos’ family alive?”

“Thailog is a clone of Goliath and Xanatos,” Campbell said, pacing around the desk. “He knows technology, science, and how power functions in the real world. He knew that if he wanted that power, he needed to influence the powerful. What better way to do that than take the place of the most powerful man in the biggest city on Earth?” Daring, he circled the desk and sat in Xanatos’ seat. “Whatever happened must have interrupted his plans, but he was still David Xanatos, industrialist and philanthropist. I don’t know who it was that took the place of you, Mrs. Xanatos, but if she didn’t know what Thailog really was then she at least knew he wasn’t the real Xanatos.”

Sunset nodded. “Okay, fine, but what about his perfect disguise? And why didn’t I sense his emotions?”

“What I’ve expected we’d come across eventually,” Campbell said, leaning back and tenting his fingers before his chest. “Magitech; magic and technology augmenting each other. Thailog and his partner combined their knowledge of the mystic with the technological. They must have scanned both your DNA sequences to create a blueprint, and combined it with sympathetic magic capable of making a perfect ‘suit’. They could live their entire lives as both of you, and no one would ever know.”

Sunset groaned. “What gave it away?”

“Our first meeting in the White House,” Campbell said. Taking a quick look to make sure Xanatos wasn’t angry, he put his feet up on the desk. “He mentioned the gargoyles were a threat. Wrong, they would be considered a situation, not threats. And when I mentioned that we’d start in New York? Lt. Malvin, you must have noticed it too. He looked slightly taken aback, even surprised.”

Xanatos smiled. “I’m never surprised.”

“Precisely. Second, you never mentioned something wrong with his mind. I imagine it was a great mental poker face?” Sunset nodded. “You weren’t reading Thailog’s mind. You were reading Mr. Xanatos’ mind. The mind that was in stasis. The clincher was that when we talked to Owen. ‘Mr. Xanatos is only surprised when he wants to be’. Meaning it wasn’t Mr. Xanatos we met with in the White House.”

Alice nodded, somehow managing to piece everything together. “And with the New York underworld at his beck and call, he had the perfect means to try and keep people from looking too closely at him.”

“While giving us cover,” Campbell said. “The dinner was designed to expose potential weaknesses in our operation. If the warehouse was guarded, the clan still would have easily handled the criminal element there. If he’d sent numbers to the rackets, then nothing would have happened. The Pack was unexpected, but that was my fault. I should have remembered they might come up.” Campbell blinked. “I had the Pack killed, I hope that isn’t a problem.” Xanatos shook his head. “Good.”

Fox grinned, sauntering up to the desk and sitting on it across from Campbell. “And what about me? You never mentioned any real interactions with my double.”

“A simple matter of deduction Mrs. Xanatos,” Campbell said. He was doing his best to look bored, but being so close to one of his first childhood crushes had his mind threatening to shut down. “You’re too perceptive to believe that any imposter would be the man you love.”

Xanatos grinned. “Who is still here, by the way.”

“Too right,” Campbell said, jumping up from the desk. “So to more important matters. Mr. Xanatos, I need to speak with you about something important.”

“You saved my family,” Xanatos said, taking Campbell’s hand and putting his other on Campbell’s shoulder. “There is no price too high to thank you.”

“Well sir,” Campbell said, nodding to the windows. “I think this price might come close to what your limit is.” Turning, Xanatos saw four shadowy shapes swooping past the windows with shining white eyes.

Chapter Text

Chapter 26: Stargate Command

Gen. Hammond read over the report; the biotech data had been sent to several specialists within the SGC to study over to see if it could be applied to Nod’s experiments with tiberium augmentation on humans. “A very thorough report, captain.”

“Thank you sir,” Campbell said. “May I ask the current status of Ms. Hamada?”

“The Pentagon and FBI have agreed she can remain in the area, but she will need to be under observation for a short period. The owners of the diner have agreed to take her on, she’s also agreed help us understand more about that particular universe from the perspective of the average resident.”

Campbell nodded. “Very well sir. Mr. Xanatos has asked that I finalize a few more matters with him, my team will return by tomorrow. For now,” he said as he turned toward Alice and Sunset. “We have an important matter to discuss regarding MV-9.”

All eyes were on Sunset, and the girl sighed. “There’s something wrong with Cpl. Oland. Every time he opens that lantern something happens.”

Gen. Hammond glared. “Why didn’t you note this on your report when you first met MV-9?”

“I wasn’t sure how to explain it,” Sunset said. “Honestly at the time it just concerned me, and I knew we were supposed to be bringing on anything in the multiverse that might be valuable to know.”

Alice started to shift in her chair. “Stand down lieutenant, we’ll get to you in a moment.” Seeing his warning was properly received, Gen. Hammond turned back to Sunset and softened his voice a little. “What happens when he activates the lantern?”

Sunset thought for a minute. “Imagine that people are like lights sir? I can sense their emotions if I want to. Happy, sad, angry.” Gen. Hammond nodded. “For Cpl. Oland, that light vanishes. Even if I’m not using my abilities, I can still know when he turns that lantern on. It’s like, it’s like there’s a giant void where he is. When he activated it against Acnologia in Magnolia I could sense it across the city.”

“And you feel pain from this?”

“Not pain,” Sunset said. “More like it’s disturbingly empty. Whenever he’s around he’s fine, but with that lantern he becomes someone else; like he just disappeared and left a void in his place.”

Gen. Hammond nodded. “I wish you would have at least noted this sooner, Ms. Shimmer, but thankfully so far his actions have only been to our benefit.” Alice looked like she’d started to relax, but then she realized everyone was staring at her. “Now it’s your turn, Lt. Malvin.”

Alice sighed. “It’s true that Cpl. Oland has something change in him when he opens the lantern, but he immediately turns back to himself when he’s done! It isn’t like it controls him, it just…”

Gen. Hammond shook his head. “Lieutenant, I was willing to accept the reports I read as the lantern being nothing more than a kind of psychological tactic designed to give Cpl. Oland a kind of ‘jump’ on the battlefield. Now with what Ms. Shimmer is claiming I don’t trust it. I need to know that anyone associated with this force is stable, and that includes Cpl. Oland.”

Alice nodded. “Understood sir, I’ll have Cpl. Oland report to medical treatment immediately in the capital.”

Gen. Hammond shook his head. “I’m afraid that won’t stand, lieutenant. I want him here.”

Alice blinked. “Here sir?”

“Dr. Ziegler will observe, but I want our people here to get a better picture of what’s happening in his head. If it’s nothing, well I’m sorry Ms. Shimmer but I won’t have any reason to keep him off our active rotation.”

“As long as we can prove he isn’t truly dangerous,” Sunset said. “I’m sorry Lt. Malvin, but if you felt what I did you’d know that whatever happens when that lantern is on is wrong.”

Alice didn’t react. “The safety of my men is paramount. If this helps the corporal, then I’ll be behind it.”

“Very well.” Rising, Gen. Hammond gave a small smile. “All of you get some rest. We’ll pick back up with all of you in a month. Captain, you’re cleared to go back to U-1923.”

Nodding, Campbell rushed from the room. He didn’t notice the pained looks on Sunset or Alice, or the concern on Gen. Hammond as he went for the gate room. Waiting for Phineas and Ferb’s gate to open, he hurried through the second the gate opened to New York.

Hurrying through the city, he saw the Tipton waiting ahead of him. Only now there were Muppets hurrying around outside wearing Tipton uniforms. Smiling, he hurried ahead to see Walter standing at the valet stand. “Capt. Campbell!”

“Walter, hey,” Campbell said, kneeling down to shake the Muppet’s hand. “How’s things now that you’re all working again?”

“Oh they’re great! It really helped that Ms. Piggy got to be London’s personal designer, she convinced Mr. Moseby to hire us all on!”

“That’s wonderful!” Smiling, Campbell nodded as the doorman opened the lobby. “So I supposed everything’s starting to get back to how it should be?”

“Yeah, it’s what we needed for a long time,” Walter said. “And it wouldn’t have happened without you and your friends.”

Campbell blushed, walking in to see his team interacting with the Muppets and staff of the Tipton. “Well don’t let me hold back the number.”

Walter smiled as the band in the lobby took over.

Walter: Everything was dark

Everything was bleak

Then you turned things around

In just one week

Campbell: Everything was dark

Everything was dull

Now for the first time

Life seems full!

Both: Life’s a happy song

Now that we all

Can finally sing along!

The pair walk through a rebuilt lobby

Campbell: I will admit

It got a little rough

Know there were times

When it seemed we’d fall

But it wasn’t just us

You helped us fight on

And now that it’s done

We can all stand tall

The two pass by Arwin and Dr. Honeydew repairing some wires

Arwin: Everything is great!

Honeydew: Everything is grand!

Both: Now that we’re lending each other a hand!

Beaker gets electrocuted

Esteban: Sure it’s not quite perfect

Rizzo: But we’re getting there real fast

Rats: And this time we’ll make sure it lasts!

All: Life is like a rose!

Moseby: When you have a flower

Pops: And you have a vase!

All: Life’s is like a dress!

London: When your designer

Piggy: Is simply the best!

All: Life is like a book!

Dr. Teeth: With great characters

Weber: And the greatest of hooks!

All: Life’s a happy song!

Now that we all

Can finally sing along!

Platoon: We would never think

This would happen

Even in our dreams!

Here we can finally

Do things that make a change

Just imagine what we’ll see!

All: Life’s a sunny day

Garcia: When there’s no dark clouds

Rolf: And the rain is away!

All: Life’s a friendly smile

Vogt: Especially after

Janice: You’re gone for a while!

All: Life’s a marathon

Schneider: But with the right mind

Zoot: It isn’t that long!

All: Life is full of highs!

Lee: But even with lows

Floyd: They just fly by!

All: Life is like a game!

Baker: Win or lose

Dr. Teeth: It’s all the same!

All: Life is like a ride

Brodeur: With all of your friends

Rizzo: Side by side!

Campbell: Can we move on from this bit please?

Walter:…Yes indeed!

All: Life’s a happy song!

Now that we all

Can finally sing along!

Platoon dances with Tipton staff during interlude

Platoon: We are

Finally breaking free!

Like we’re in ecstasy!

Platoon: Nothing’s stopping us!

We did our jobs well

And we won the local’s trust!

Platoon: Sunshine, summertime

And a bunch of happy words!

Campbell: That will also rhyme!

Campbell stopped, realizing that he’d found himself in the Tipton’s restaurant where Xanatos was waiting with a grin on his face. Clearing his throat and getting back into the right mindset, he sat down across from the corporatist. He didn’t notice the bald man in the black suit leave as he sat down. “So, Mr. Xanatos. What’s happened since we’ve returned?”

“Well the NYPD did as you expected, with Bill Sykes missing his organization is shattering. No one can take a lead position though, with the stories flying around about monsters.” Xanatos held a glass up to Campbell. “It was admittedly a little rough around the edges, but quite the plan nonetheless.”

“Learned from the best sir,” Campbell said, nodding as Patrick poured him a glass of water. “I trust we can leave everything in your hands then?”

Xanatos shook his head. “Hardly. Even after only a few days of catching up the entire situation is madness here. The Midwest is in shambles, Florida apparently has something wrong in it, the Rockies are a battleground, and even I don’t know what’s going on in Oregon.” Xanatnos tilted his head as he stared at Campbell. “I’ll need some real help to make things right.”

Campbell fought back against the surge of excitement in his chest to remain calm. “I understand sir. I’ll speak with the MVTF leadership, but given the nature of the threats we’ll be dealing with toward the multiverse I can only imagine they’ll agree.”

“Excellent,” Xanatos said, gesturing to a menu on the table. “Now, care to have some lunch?”

“Afraid I can’t sir,” Campbell said, downing his water in one go as he rose. “We have a few more things to take care of back in our base. Rest assured, if anything happens that we need to handle, you’ll know how to contact us.”

Xanatos nodded. “You’re right about that.”

Tipping Patrick some real money that he’d borrowed from one of the captains in the SGC, Campbell went to the elevator and back to the lobby where Sgt. Weber waited for him. “All ready sergeant?”

Weber nodded. “You know they need to finish the song, sir.”

Campbell chuckled. “I’m not a monster, sergeant.”

Weber: Everything’s good

Everything’s great

No matter how much we have on our plate

It’s better than a dream

When is our next time?

I know the platoon can hardly wait

Frankly sir nor can I

It all just sped by

And I know that you can relate

We found a release

All real not a tease

Say, do you think that they’d even let us stay?

Campbell grins, walks into the lobby with Weber

Platoon: We’ve done!

Things we still can’t believe!

And there’s still more to see!

It’s all real and here

This is here and now

No more fantasies!

Marching band comes down the street as they exit the Tipton

Platoon: The multi-verse is open

Villains best beware

Because we’re coming!

Platoon: Nothing’s unbelievable

Every dream

Is now achievable!

Weber: Life’s a happy song!

Van der Burgh: Now that we all can finally sing!

Becker: Life’s a happy song!

Gantz: Now that we all can finally sing!

Platoon: Life’s a happy song

Now that we all can finally sing alo-o-o-ng!

Platoon returns to the SGC, leaving the street empty

As Xanatos watched the platoon vanish outside from the lobby, he grinned. “Tell me Mr. Moseby, do you know what a man is willing to do to get into heaven?”

Moseby and Pops shared a look. “I’m not sure I understand the question, Mr. Xanatos.”

“Don’t worry,” Xanatos said, smiling as he walked to his waiting car outside. “You’ll see it soon enough.”

Sunset collapsed onto her couch, taking a breath. Her apartment wasn’t the biggest or best in Canterlot, but it had been home for four years since she’d come from Equestria. Thankfully all it took to get it was working side jobs hard enough that she had a little bit of cash. Coupled with some frankly morally dubious application of spells, and she had managed to put herself through the past few years with some worthwhile effort.

The others had gone back to their own houses and families, but as Sunset settled in she had no one there to really talk to about what had happened. Sure, the cat was out of the starting gate (Oh wow, Col. O’Neill was starting to rub off on me too) about Randel, but she knew that everyone needed to take some time after the Labyrinth. Turning on some peaceful music to listen to as she rested, she dwelled on how to better adjust to Randel. It was true, she had brought his team on and hadn’t mentioned what she’d felt, but at the same time it wasn’t going to do anyone any good if she kept feeling it. Maybe…

Getting up, she went to her backpack and pulled out her journal. “Dear Princess Twilight…”

Capt. Hunks sighed as he put the report down on his desk. “And you’re sure he was ordering this?”

Alice nodded. “He made it explicit that he wanted to have Dr. Ziegler and the SGC medical personnel examine Cpl. Oland and understand what happens when he opens his lantern.”

Tapping the ash out of his pipe, Hunks rose and went to the windows. “You understand that you might not like what they find.”

Alice tried to process what she just heard. “But sir, aren’t they trying to help?”

“They certainly are,” Hunks said, putting from fresh tobacco in. “The problem is that what they find might not actually help us.”

Alice still was failing to process the answer. “It was still an order sir, are we really going to turn down Gen. Hammond’s help?”

Hunks sighed. “No, no we aren’t lieutenant. For now just get some rest. We’ll talk more about this once you’re off recovering from all this. Dismissed.” Alice snapped to attention, but didn’t see the sorrowful look on Capt. Hunks’ face. “Well,” he mumbled, as the sun set on the capital. “I suppose this was gonna happen sooner or later.” For a second he thought his tobacco smelled a little sweeter, but shrugged it off. It was probably nothing.

Kane nodded as he closed the report. “This one, she has promise.”

“Her superiors have noted it as well brother,” Enoch said. “She is exceptionally driven, and is a quick learner. You’ll note at several points she mentions the complications that could arise from our involvement compared to what she knows of our plans.”

“Yes, and in each case they come closer than many others to what we’re trying to accomplish.” Smiling, Kane handed the report back to Enoch. “When she’s ready, promote her without haste. What about the status of our other operations?”

“All Tiberium planted in 002 has been removed from the soil, and all blossom trees have been destroyed. Teams are still observing other factions.”

“Good. Inform the leadership of each team to slightly increase recruitment efforts.” Kane smiled. “This report has given me an idea.” Enoch nodded and left the room, leaving Kane to bring up his personal console and observe the signals. The screen was suddenly filled with a digitized model of massive red orbs floating in a black background rippling every few seconds. “Now, where am I…”

O’Neill whistled as he pulled his truck up to the diner, thankful that he was able to convince Carter that no, he wasn’t going to be any good at helping with figuring out what the molecular composition of Tiberium was. Hopping out in his civvies, he walked through the door to see a woman with short chestnut hair sliding an order of food across the counter to a pair of airmen as Billy Joel played over the jukebox. “Hey, welcome to the Cheyenne Diner. Need a menu?”

“Nah, I’m okay,” O’Neill said, taking a seat at the counter. “What do you think is good?”

The woman, O’Neill saw her name tag read “Cass”, shrugged. “No idea, everything here is slathered in grease and fat. Personally, I’d never have served half of this menu in my old place.” A pained look crossed her face, but she quickly pushed it away. “Sorry, still getting used to things.”

“Yeah, been down that road.” O’Neill shrugged. “I’ll just have a Diet Coke for now.” Cass nodded, grabbing a glass and quickly getting it back to O’Neill. “So you're from the latest dimension right? How is it getting used to things?”

“Well you know, aside from getting used to using a remote again? It isn’t that different.” Cass smiled, leaning against the counter. “Still, I’m surprised.”

O’Neill paused as he started to sip his drink. “About what?”

“Well the book club,” Cass said, nodding to a half of the diner. “I didn’t expect there to be anything like it next to some crazy top secret multidimensional military base.”

Turning, O’Neill saw MV-4 all engrossed in a series of books. The Collected Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Alice in Wonderland. The Complete Fairy Tales of Hans Christian Anderson. Grimms’ Fairy Tales. The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The Adventures of Pinnochio. As O’Neill watched, every few seconds one or two of them would take a quick bite of their food, make sure their hands were wiped clean, and go back to reading. “They been at this long?”

“Almost two hours,” Cass said. “I’ve seen some of them go back and reread parts of those books.” Cass smiled. “Not gonna lie, I never thought anyone in the army would be so interested in reading.”

O’Neill sipped at his drink a little. “So it would surprise you then to learn that this isn’t a book club.”

Cass blinked. “It isn’t?”

“Nope.”

Cass looked back at the platoon, and shrugged it off. “Hey, they got me to the first place I’ve felt safe at in a long time. If they want to do a little reading, I say let’em.”

O’Neill nodded, watching the platoon as he sipped his drink. Their eyes were all glued to their particular books, pouring over each page once, twice, three times. Their hands ran over the pages, sometimes across the covers. They looked like Daniel when he found a particularly interesting ancient relic; consumed with finding out the what and why.

Something in O'Neill realized he’d seen that look before, another lifetime ago. Back when he’d seen people who’d escaped East Germany cross the border, the realization in their eyes they were out. Sipping until his soda was done, O’Neill left twenty minutes later noticing that not only had the platoon never looked up to acknowledge him, but they never noticed that half of their food had gone cold.