Chapter Text
Two long eyelashes rose and picked a glance at the bright screen. Thousands of words were lining up tidily there, making it easier for the man's kitten-like eyes to scan. The words were dancing delightfully and completing each other perfectly to create one another beautiful story. Chapter by chapter was composed, plot by plot which was recognized by the brain produced some kind of stimulus. There was a smile which unwittingly came. Regardless this was his own work--the line of dainty phrases which gathered into a passionate love storybook, Yoongi always enjoyed the barrage of words to a higher level. If most people saw words as just a word--a method to express something in an ordinary way, the pale man experienced them as a kind of magic. Word was art for Yoongi. Every phrase had its own meaning and concept to him. It worked the same as how colors affect the painting or melodies built a certain feeling to the music. Through a row of phrases, the man felt like he was brought to a dreamy place, where there was just him and his imagination that allowed him to rule. Where he could talk freely and live as loosely as he wanted to. Unlike his real life, his pretty mundane royal life.
Min Yoongi, the young writer, was the second child of The Min, one of the most respected clan by The Koreans. The Min's ancestor was Queen Min of The Greatest, an awesome and skillful woman who brought the peninsula to a glorious revolution in the past. The Queen Min's name was always presented in the Korean history books, as she actively included herself in the royal political affairs with her astonishing brainpower. In spite of her gender and her status as a queen who the tradition judged as only be able to manage the internal household, Queen Min showed the world that there would always be something spectacular which women could do regardless of their tenderness and motherly nature. The fact her genius tactic could contribute social and economical glory for the kingdom at that time, her particular way of thinking proved the equality of humans, no matter what you were. In the presence of being a democratic republican--as the monarchy rule was not applied anymore, the Korean government took several aristocratic families to certain honors due to the debt of gratitude. Thus, The Family of Min got some special rights and one of them was "allowed to deploy inherited norms and moral values". By that, the government facilitated the family to live in the palace complex and allowed them to apply their hereditary rules. And with those, Min Yoongi had grown.
Having a common and regular life was not a part of his fate. The word ordinary did not exist in his dictionary itself. When he was born to the world, he heard there was a kind of celebration which was held. Then, a faint memory showed his infant self did a baby dance under the moonlight as an offering to The Goddess of The Moon to get some blessings--which somehow, Yoongi found it was weird himself, but well, several traditions were made by faith. Furthermore, living under The Democratic Republic of Korea which was led by a president who was chosen by-election and how the sovereignty system did not work anymore, Yoongi basically was not a prince. Nevertheless, he practically was. He grew up to some manners--eating and sleeping manners, those kinds of rules which taught him to walk properly, smiling in public, doing handshake in the most precise way, etc. There was a time he thought about the reason why he should do all of this stuff. But then, his father's position as one of the highest legislatures reminded him to do well. It was not like Yoongi cared about the exact position his father tried to maintain, he never had an interest in politics, unlike the rest of The Min. To taste the freedom was his greatest goal. His wish was simple, that to be able to travel around the world without security or political mission, to meet people by only being himself-- Yoongi, not the man from the sacred and respected family. The young man wished he could talk to a resident or acquaintance or the closer term he hoped-- friend-- without certain "conceptual" manner and just being human, not somebody who would be treated as royal. The word of independence felt too sweet on his tongue, making Yoongi addicted to its euphoria which had not ever once been real.
Yoongi sighed. He wished he were somebody else with another spectacular life which usual people called a boring ordinary life. Yet, their so-called boring ordinary life sounded so heaven for the royal's kid.
"Hyung?"
A head peeped out from the glass door which made Yoongi come back from his long thought. The black-haired man gave a nod as an approval to come in. Then, a familiar feature of Kim Namjoon showed up with a sweet smile on his face and two cups of hot americano in his hands. Yoongi closed his eyes a little while as he took a deep breath of the specific smell which was flooding in his working room. He reached Namjoon's hand as the taller man passed on his glass before sipping the coffee together. The sound of relief passed after both men's lips before smiling towards each other, realizing how they both could be too unaware of their bodies' weariness sometimes.
"Bet, you don't even realize it is already two in the morning?" Namjoon asked while leaning on the sofa on the other side of the room. Yoongi got up from his chair as he was stretching himself to loosen some stiff muscles from sitting too long.
"Deadline is coming."
Namjoon lifted the corner of his lips, "As expected from our great Min Yoongi. But perfection isn't always good, hyung."
"I'm not running for perfection," the black-haired man shook his cup, "it just--how could I say, but my trilogy is reaching its ending. The first and second ones did not give me this kind of problem when I wrote the ending. It flowed. But this time, I want it to feel full, yet something keeps missing and I don't have any idea what it is."
"Do you want me to read it for you, hyung?"
Yoongi gave a small smile before handing in his laptop to the other man, "It will be my pleasure, Joonie."
Namjoon showed his dimples as he sent a thin smile to the enthusiastic man. The dark brown eyes behind the lenses moved as he was reading phrase by phrase which was beautifully written by Yoongi. Meanwhile, in another world, the smaller man was agreeing himself that the most good looking Namjoon was when he read thoroughly to Yoongi's script. It was not like he was romantically attracted to Namjoon, they had been best friends for more than six years now. Yoongi even swore to himself that he basically witnessed the younger man's growth, from that kind of typical bookworm to the man everyone wished they could marry. Puberty hit him hard.
Namjoon was highly attractive, Yoongi acknowledged. If only he were born in a different circumstance where they were not best friends and he was not part of royalty, he probably had a great crush on the younger. How could he not? The man was brainy and kind-hearted. And got another bonus for having long legs and a good build. However, the compassionate feeling which was developing inside his chest for Namjoon could not be described as the love he was looking for. It was love, he knew, but not that kind of love. It was more genuine and brotherly. Moreover, the younger man's high curiosity and sensitivity would not be suitable to his monarchical life which limited him to almost everything. If they were something, Yoongi was sure, it would be too confusing for the ordinary man to adapt.
Suddenly, there were wishes which formed inside his heart about him and the future relationship in which he would live it. There was going to be another full moon tomorrow night which meant a big thing was going to happen. Yoongi was fully aware of his age and the precedent of marriage in his family. If by some chance he was going to tie the knot in the next several months, he would not be bewildered anymore. He had read everything, prepared for any possibility which likely came to pass, except to how his own heart would react. The feeling was an absurd concept and the most impulsive thing humans ever had. No matter how hard you were trying to strengthen your heart, a certain emotion would reach in the end and create some weird sensations which you'd like or dislike. However, being a-- practically --prince and the heir of a prominent family made him good at hiding his real feeling. And there was no one who put his real emotion on the first list anyway.
However, if God would like to favor him at least once, he insisted on having a beautiful and happy married life. Yoongi had no choice about the groom anyway. Everything was settled in his destiny's book even before he was born. He wished--he really did--to have somebody who would respect him as a human--a Yoongi, not the aristocratic kid or someone who had a lot of heritages to be inherited. He wished to have someone who gave him some freedom to taste and a chance for him to see the world with wider eyes. And the last, he hoped, he could have a man who would love him for him. He just wanted to feel authentic and real, without any pretending.
"It is good," the younger man tilted his head, "however, yeah, something is missing. I don't feel a particular effect while reading this."
Yoongi nodded. He did not know how to react since he was lost by himself. Namjoon peeked at the older who curled himself up in the corner of the couch. A tenderness rose inside his chest, making him unable to manage his giggle.
"It is two in the morning, hyung. There is no point in rushing everything especially when you look like a kitten which needs to be petted."
Yoongi hissed, "I told you to leave the kitten thing in the past. I'm almost twenty-six!"
"But you look more kitten-like as you are getting older, hyung," Namjoon whined, "I even seem older than you. I wonder how you could age backward and get smaller every day."
Yoongi was about to rebut the younger but a familiar ringtone rang and held him back. A tsk came out from his mouth as he saw his own father's name on the screen. The pale man excused himself to go to another room since he knew the chat was going to be a little secretive. He slid the pick up a sign after he made sure Namjoon was left far enough to be able to hear.
"Min Yoongi- ssi. "
Yoongi lowered his tone in purpose to sound formal, "Good night, Mr. Min. Is there something I can do for you?"
This. He hated this actually, for being too precise. Deprived every affection which Yoongi did not know he was starving.
"Where are you?" his father asked with a cool and systematized tone, but the young man could feel the heat of anger radiating into his ear hole.
"I am sorry, I am at work."
"Who writes at two in the morning, Min Yoongi- ssi ? You should be able to handle your time better than this, especially when you are going to have an important occasion," Yoongi heard a sharp breath exhaled on the other side of the phone, "the dinner tomorrow is crucial. It's all about your future's sake. You should have stayed in your bed to keep you good, so we can make The Kim impressed."
Yoongi let out a painful smile. So, The Kim, huh. The family he was going to be married to. The family which had great control over the Korea National Economy. Sure, he should not be surprised and disappointed like this as he was sure, he had prepared everything. He knew he was going to be sent to another chaebol family, living under another big roof and bright house which felt cold and deserted. Yoongi gave a muted chuckled, thinking about how dumb he was, wishing to marry someone ordinary who knew how to love and treat him as a person--not as a barter of positive benefits for the finances of two families. Suddenly, the thought about marriage scared him. Marriage was more than a wedding or legalization for him. It was cherished and sacred. Dirtying the bond with political tactics never made Yoongi become more intended to run away like this. The sudden idea of begging Namjoon to bring him somewhere isolated was luring him. He wanted to escape from his lifeless life, but he just could not be reckless. This life was not a book that can provide you with some happy endings. If one to two mistakes accidentally occurred, something worse could happen. And Yoongi did not want anything bad to happen to his family.
"I apologize for being careless, Father," Yoongi said with a disheartening connotation, though it was not for himself.
His father sighed, "Please be more considerate with time management, Min Yoongi. And I expect to see you in barely an hour. There were several things I have prepared for you for tomorrow."
"Okay, I will be home soon."
"See you there, kid," his father said.
Yoongi unconsciously nodded, "I will see you soon."
Beeping tones as a hang-up sign were heard and soon the Min's kid let out a long breath to comfort his aching heart. The sense of displeasure and hopelessness was flowing heavily inside his tight chest. To be honest, the young man used to think of marriage as one of the ways he could be away from his present life. But, as the day was getting closer--as he was going to meet his future groom, he knew he was wrong. Marriage in his family was basically like moving the bird from one cage to another. And Yoongi could not help but be a beautiful display for another family.
It was his fate by the way. He should not have been upset or sad. He braced everything already and he was sure he was ready. Yet, he could feel his heart was tearing into pieces. Happiness was just hope and freedom was no more than imagination. Those two things just would not come to pass to his extraordinary life.
(***)
A full moon was shining so brightly as it was marking the luck. The elders always said if something happened on the night where the moon was full and illuminating the earth gracefully, where there was neither cloud nor strong winds, the event or anything that was expected would run well. And if by any chance his marriage was going to be settled tonight, Yoongi should've been more zealous, considering the myth. Yet, the young man had not ever felt more suffocated than now. The cloth never felt too hot and his suit never felt too tight on his waist. The tie which lingering around his neck strangled him as the sudden sense of choking rise. He ran to the bathroom immediately, locking himself before coughing several times. The pressure was too heavy and it made him hard to breathe properly. Maybe it was his epinephrine that boosted, created an animalistic heart-beat, cold sweat, and short breathing. The man let a long sigh. His anxiety always relapsed every time Yoongi could not contain bad emotions such as nervousness like this.
After controlling his thoughts and suggesting himself to be a little bit calmer, Yoongi let a long sigh. He must not be like this. He usually could collect himself together perfectly. So, another pretending should be done well, at least for today's dinner. Besides, it was not like he was going to be sent to an old pervert man. Yoongi had seen his future groom through pictures that spread over the internet. Kim Seokjin was his name if Yoongi was not wrong. He was good looking and charismatic, exactly like what The Min's elders would likely pick as their son in law. His face was sculpture-like by his big eyes, strong eyebrows, high-lined nose, and red plump lips which looked so fluffy and soft. His body proportion was unbelievably rigorous--the broad shoulder but small waist, long legs--slim and tall, two things Yoongi wished he could have. He heard that Seokjin was a gentleman as there were a lot of articles written there. He was kind and polite and lovable. Many public figures fell for him as the dating report addressed the man who once dated an idol named Jaehwan for a year.
Yoongi exhaled heavily. If Seokjin's type were a humorous and sweet person like Lee Jaehwan, the royal man had no hope then since he was a hopeless romantic--except for the poetry he wrote in his book. Plus, Lee Jaehwan's 180 cm height would add another point to convince himself that there was no way for him and Seokjin to be perfectly matched. He and Jaehwan were the opposite, Yoongi could say this since they met in a gala once and the idol innocently approached him to tell how much he adored his works and the prince himself. Even though it was their last meeting-- perhaps, Yoongi knew The Lee's kid was affable and kindhearted. He was always good at reading people and rarely made mistakes. Furthermore, Yoongi was a writer and people's character was part of his everyday lunch.
Marriage was not a joke for him, he treasured any kind of human relationship to the most. He had enough pretense about his acquaintance and some he called friends. He did not want to pretend his marriage too. Fake the love he had for his future husband and falsify their entire bond for the sake of families' name and business benefit were a nightmare for him. Yoongi mentally nodded. He was going to give Seokjin a chance to choose. Both of them deserved happiness, the true one, and one of the ways to reach it was by spending the rest of their life with their loved ones. He was ready to risk everything--the anger and some punishments from his family--for the sake of their both contentment. Except, if Seokjin's happiness was wealth and luxury, and the prodigy was weak for it. Yoongi meant he would not be bewildered anymore since it was one of the general secrets in this chaebol life.
The sound of loud greet and cheer reverberated through the walls. It sent a signal to the young man to prepare himself. The real game was going to play soon. Not long after Yoongi checked his own self out from the mirror, three small but certain taps were knocking on the door. It made Yoongi turn himself unconsciously.
"Yoongi- ssi ," the servant bowed, "The Kim has arrived. Mr. Min asked me to pick you to the dining room."
Yoongi nodded without giving another response. He followed the middle-aged lady to the garden--his mother's favorite place--where there was a small and intimate dining room inside the glasshouse. There were faces he could recognize well when the others were not. But he was sure, the tall man with brown hair, black suit, vivid smile, and deep brown eyes which were looking straight at Yoongi was Kim Seokjin. The lady stopped by the door as the young man kept walking with a cute grin painted on his beautiful pale face, stealing everyone's attention in the glasshouse. Smiles were shown--some smiled proudly as if he was the pearls that just came out of the shell while some smiled politely.
"Yoongi, what was taking you so long?" Mr. Min welcomed him cheerfully, making Yoongi surprised at first as his father dropped the formality between them. It reminded him of his warm younger days. The young man just sent a soft beam before bowing to the family which could not take their eyes off of him.
"I am sorry for being late," Yoongi said sincerely, "I should make sure I've prepared well before meeting gracious people. My name is Min Yoongi. It is my pleasure to meet you and your family, Mr. Kim."
A satisfied smile appeared on Mr. Kim's face, "You are such a sweet person, Yoongi- ssi. I am sure my oldest son is anticipating to meet you."
The man in his sixties called his son out. With that, came a tall, handsome man who was unmistakable as Seokjin. Seokjin gave a light touch on his father's back before facing up the smaller man. They were not even close in distance, but the aura which the man radiated successfully took Yoongi's breath away. He cursed under his chest for being carried easily by the charm. His brain was blank as the visuals of The Kims were astonishing. It even took Yoongi a second to realize that the man was bowing down to him.
"Hello, I am Kim Seokjin," Seokjin introduced himself, "it is such a pleasure to meet a man who looks like sugar and candy, Min Yoongi- ssi ."
Yoongi chuckled, "Your praise is so lame, Seokjin- ssi, but thank you."
"But your books are so fascinating and sweet, Suga- ssi," the man's face glowed, "I was always wondering who is the man behind those wonderful books."
"Oh, you read my books?"
Seokjin bent down, "I have been your big fan far before you decided to reveal yourself."
"But speaking of which," another tall, blonde and good looking man interrupted, "the biggest fan of your book and poetry is here, Min Yoongi- ssi ."
Yoongi looked beside him. There was a man with a boxy grin saluting him.
"I am Kim Taehyung, the youngest. I dedicated myself to be an artist like you."
The black-haired man was genuinely amazed, a little bit surprised by the sudden confession, "You like the art of word, too?"
Taehyung enthusiastically lifted his boxy lips, "Actually, I love every kind of art but yes. Words are magic for me and hyung, and you are such a witch in using the magic of words, isn't it, Seokjin- hyung ?"
Seokjin acknowledged his brother's statement without saying anything. He just gave a soft glance over the blued Min and let his brother babbling about their adoration instead. He could hear Yoongi ask about their favorite book while they were having a seat. The man was going to answer but postponed as he got a little overwhelmed over the happiness which filled Taehyung's face. It was rare to see his younger brother be as passionate as tonight. He knew best that the family ran the business of industry and technology which outside from the sense of the beauty of arts. It made their parents contradict Taehyung's dream. However, Seokjin noted to his own self that sooner or later he was going to send gratitude to the young Min for giving his brother a chance to talk about his dream loosely.
" Clown Moon, The A from Mr. Rabbit, Letter from Sophie, Spring Sonata, all of them, Yoongi- ssi. I love them," Taehyung paused before smiling so bright, "especially, The Happy Little Human. "
Ran, ran, he ran away.
From the destiny which said it would take good care of him.
The promise was nonsense, especially when the baby made it.
He looked over his shoulder, it was dazzling.
Otherwise, the next step seemed like a dead moon on December night.
The Happy Little Human was afraid.
And the definite path of life was terrifying.
Yoongi could feel his heartache as Taehyung sang the poetry for him. Sure, the younger expressed the poems cheerfully so he could look no other than enthusiastic. However, Yoongi was quite sensitive, specifically to those who felt the same peculiar way with him. The tone could not lie--same as the sadden gleamed in his big eyes. Furthermore, Yoongi was an actor in his own life drama. He was born for this fixed path, pretending as he was enjoying it, and silently eager for the taste of regular life. Thus, he could recognize if another actor did the same thing. Nevertheless, the young man did not want to ruin the moment--the happiness which flowed in most of the guests and hosts' faces, Taehyung's better state of mood, and Seokjin's hidden uneasiness. Yoongi noticed that too, but another talk only made the situation flipped. He let a compliment occur instead.
"You're good at reading poetry, Taehyung- ssi. It is not like everyone can, not even me."
The blonde man's smile grew full, "I even composed the instrumental for it!"
"Really? I should listen to it one day." He really hoped so.
Taehyung nodded, "You should! Seokjin- hyung is rarely home and well, we can hang out."
Yoongi glanced over the brown-haired man who was mentally scolding his brother and giggled. Later, the food came and the main dinner started. The two Kims and a Min were in complete silence as the topic was dominated by the elders. And it was the subject which Yoongi wordlessly hated. From the success of his brother in legislation to the random fact of how pricey the cup they used this night. Sometimes, Seokjin talked as he was questioned by the elders about how the business was going, his goals, the incline of the future economy, expansion, and stuff. By the time Seokjin answered, Taehyung lowered his tone to say several things about his adoration towards arts.
"So, Mr. Min," The head of The Kim raised his tone, "where will we start?"
"From two years ago. Where I met Mr. Kim in a conference to learn that he has a handsome gentleman who I trust to take care of my youngest son," said Mr. Min, with a strange smile which created a weird feeling inside Yoongi's chest--in a good way of course, but he was not gotten used to it.
Yoongi and Seokjin were going to cough, but the experience made them good in handling the surprise attack. Moreover, both prestigious sons knew it would happen either sooner or later. The young Min glanced over the man who sat beside him and he could tell Seokjin was in an utter shock, although the others did not see that. Seokjin was good at controlling his facial expression, it was what Yoongi could learn from their less than a one-hour meeting. And with that strange and wonderful appearance, he could debut as a real actor.
"What do you think about this union, Yoongi- ssi ?" asked Mr. Kim casually.
A low curse was uttered unintentionally from the man's kitten lips, without knowing the man who sits beside him could hear it. Seokjin chuckled and suddenly the tense became thinner. It was funny to know how bad words actually could comfort him in this situation, especially when it came out from someone who usually played the words gracefully.
"Your body seems stiff, my dear," said Mrs. Kim endearingly. The young Min looked into the woman's eyes just to find the sense of adoration inside.
"I am sorry. I do expect this but did not know it would come too soon."
"Is it too soon for you, dear? We can save the topic for another time. I don't want to distress a dainty man like you."
"No, Mrs. Kim," the young Min softened his glare, "through the light of the moon, the goddess gives her blessing tonight. Everything is running as it is supposed to, Ma'am."
The lady of Kim laughed happily, "oh sure you are the man of letters, my dear. From the first time I saw you walking to us, I know the shine is not only in your name. I hope you can endow my family with the bliss and delight."
"Stop making him flustered, Mama," Seokjin disturbed his mother's high admiration politely as he noticed the young man started to get uneasy.
"But there is no way not falling for him, hyung," the youngest Kim lifted one of his eyebrows, teased his brother, "especially when you are into cute things."
The oldest son sighed and opened his mouth as he wanted to refute something. However, he got a pause as the young Min placed his hand above the Kim's palm, out of nowhere, without Seokjin knowing it happened either unwittingly or not. Seokjin stared at the smaller man beside him. A gleeful smile plastered on his pale face with blush tinted on the tip of his ears. The reaction felt so natural, but Seokjin refused to believe that Min Yoongi was as defenseless as he might have seemed.
"It was my honor to receive praises from you, Mrs. Kim, Taehyung- ssi," Yoongi grinned, "but, Seokjin- ssi is right. I don't get used to having wide shoulders."
The gentle young man smirked, "Did you just compliment me?"
"I have my way, Seokjin- ssi. "
Seokjin wowed, "I did not expect a dry humor of yours could make me content."
Laughter filled the room and the rest of the night went well as it was predicted. The elders enthusiastically talked about the compatibility by their path number and personality, how the relationship would likely flow, the advantages both sides would get, and the future wedding. Yoongi could not help but smile as he was enjoying their parents being trapped in their imaginary world. The nature rebel inside himself raged, asking for getting freed and creating chaos. However, he silently patted his inner self, hoping for patience.
"Is one year and a half preparation enough for you, Seokjin- ssi ?" asked Mr. Min after discussing stuff which the young Kim could not catch.
"Our family union will be a great event in our country. The preparation should be organized well. It takes time," The Kim's father continued.
Seokjin was mutely grateful. One year was more than enough for him. It was a worthwhile long time for running away and disappearing. Even though he acknowledged his attraction to Yoongi, he could not take his adoration to the love he desired to have in his marriage. Seokjin treasured marriage for more than documents and family tradition. Marriage for him was a spiritual safety and contentment. It required more than love and admiration, but the commitment and absolute vow. It was a big duty which could be completed if both sides were mutual. Hence, he could cut his tie if he felt Yoongi was not on the same page as his--using this marriage as the bond of business.
"It is more than enough, Sir."
"Uh, I cannot wait to see my baby boy in a wedding suit, Mrs. Kim," Mrs. Min told the lady who sat across her, "isn't white the best color for a wedding?"
Mrs. Kim nodded elegantly, "My Seokjinnie is the best in white, Mrs. Min."
The oldest son of Kim was lost in his own thought as he was trying to understand the dialogue between the families. It was not long until he felt long fingers tugging his hand. He looked up to the owner and Yoongi just tilted his head as a sign to follow him. Seokjin nodded before the smaller man excused themselves to go somewhere.
Hallway per hallway was passed. They were walking side by side through an enormous mansion without talking. Yet, Seokjin appreciated it. He was exhausted from the shock although he knew he was going to marry the man beside him two months ago. Nevertheless, faking your own feelings for a decision of eternity was harder than he thought.
The bigger man accidentally bumped into the younger because of a sudden stop. He muttered an apology but only got an annoyed huff. Seokjin saw around him. An extensive balcony with moonlight and two small chandeliers as its lighting was the place they ended up. There was a long shamrock swing in the corner with a coffee table beside it. A pile of rubbish can which was stuffed with used papers stood independently on its other side. Seokjin guessed it was one of Yoongi's private places to work or sometimes to run away. It was calm, cold, and lonely.
"I am taking you outside to make you breathe properly, Seokjin- ssi," the younger complained, "you looked like you were going to choke."
"I was surprised though I had anticipated it. Were you not?"
Yoongi shrugged, "I get used to it."
Seokjin nodded. He understood what the younger meant. Yoongi Yoongi was not only the son of a rich family after all but also the child of a politician and a royal by blood. Everything was neatly arranged for sure, from what pajamas he would wear for sleeping tonight to the menu he was going to eat next month. Of course, the unforeseen wedding arrangement was predicted by him. Yet, a heavy atmosphere was radiated by the younger made Seokjin getting goosebumps. The Yoongi he was standing with now was different from the Yoongi who was always smiling during dinner. It was not like Yoongi was a hypocrite. Seokjin perceived the young Min was trying to share his real emotion with him. By that, Seokjin preferred waiting instead. They fell into the silence, enjoying the serenity of quietness.
"I--," Yoongi began, "I treasure the meaning of marriage deeply."
Seokjin looked at the younger just to get a lost boy. The boy's eyes were empty, his breath was stable, but heavy at the same time. Yoongi was nothing now. He was no more than someone who was seeking for the right meaning of life. He might look like he was living in the best life, but deep inside he felt far empty. He did not want to look vulnerable in front of someone he just knew. He was not a typical open person. However, he could not help it. His last chance to be happy and taste what the true sensation of living was in the other man's hand.
"It's not like I force you to have feelings for me or even like me, but I don't want to do this without love," the young Min whispered, "it might sound weird but I want to be free, Seokjin- ssi . Sure, I am happy enough with my life right now. However, marriage is the life of two persons and both of them should be satisfied."
"I honestly don't know what is your real intention for this arrangement, but wealth and good name are the least on my list," Yoongi continued, "I can help you with several deals for your business advantage as long as I get the revocation."
The grown man mumbled, "Sometimes, I just want to be selfish for once."
"What do you expect from marriage, Yoongi- ssi ?" Seokjin stared blankly to anywhere but the man beside him, "happiness?"
Yoongi shook his head, "I don't expect happiness. I mean, sure, I want to be happy but marriage is kind of life either. From what I learn, relationships are a roller coaster."
"Then, what's your goal?"
"I just want to--," a shy smile formed on the Min's face, "it sounds cheesy, but I just wanted to do love loosely, sincerely, open-handedly, as one pleases."
Seokjin nodded. It might be a little ambiguous, but the young Kim could find it earnestly. Besides, he already read Yoongi's romantic sequel which contains the way of loving. He was once curious how "SUGA" could write such beautiful novels. The way he represented the characters meticulously and how both The Bloom: Orange and The Bloom: Blossom was delightfully engaging everyone's heart was now making sense. The young Min was interpreting his silent hope inside his books--the way he wished he could do in loving someone. It felt so real and honest. It was platonic, yet authentic.
"Me either," Seokjin broke the thick silence between them as he spoke, "I was thinking of recalling this arrangement once I know you are into some political benefits. Glad to know you were not like some people who I almost married."
The young Min's forehead creased unconsciously. He titled his face to the tall man who stood several meters across him.
"Same as you, Min Yoongi- ssi, I do hold marriage and cherish the person I'm going to spend my life with the most," a small beam adorned Kim's handsome face, "I won't marry someone unless I love him dearly. Love is more than just lust and admiration, you know."
Yoongi nodded. Seokjin smiled, "Don't worry about your feeling. I will consider it of course. And, I'm rich enough to cancel this without any compensation."
The young Min giggled. He did not think a handsome man could belong to ridiculous humor. But, he secretly loved it anyway. Later, a long silence ate the two men, letting them entrance into the beauty of moonlight and the relaxation of a cool breeze. Both of them were silently grateful to know they were on the same page of selfishness and craving for true love. Although they still were not sure what they would do after this, up to the least, they had somebody who they could be their own self, without pretending, without feigning.
"About us," Yoongi broke the quietness with a low whisper, "do you want to try?"
"Are you comfortable if we're trying?"
"Honestly not. I'm not a fast type of person. I don't mean it's my goal, but I'm afraid it will end up bad."
Seokjin slung his hand over Yoongi's, "Then, we can be friends. Just friends, without thinking about anything else."
Yoongi put his eyes on the man and muttered a small thank you. Seokjin nodded before starting to wonder what their parents would think if they weren't back in a matter of minutes.
(***)