Chapter Text
Handsome.
God, did Hyunjin hate that word. In fact, he hated any complements he would get about his appearance.
He hated that he was destined to be a "Visual" he wanted more.
Everyone always told him that he didn't need to work so hard, he had a guaranteed position of visual.
But he didn't want to be known for his looks, he never wants to be.
What he wants is to be taken seriously. To make music that can touch people and give his prying relatives something to compliment him on, other than how good looking he turned out.
That's why he worked his ass off to improve his dancing, why he avoided anything regarding looks. Others thought it made him look arrogant, maybe he just doesn't want to get treated like a test subject.
Sometimes he wishes he was born with average looks, maybe even ugly, that he looked like every other 18 year old Korean out there. He was too pale and his lips were too small, he didn't want to be what people strive to be like, he wanted to be himself.
That's probably why some part of him felt happy when people told him he looked anything but good.
like the one time he had 2 minutes to get to class and looked like a complete mess.
Or the time he ate right before vocal lessons and everyone said he looked weird bloated.
And there was the time he bruised the corners of his lips because he bit down too hard on a pen while practicing his raps.
In a way, it was fun, he finally got to see what he was lacking and what he could do better, and that drive to become more skilled took effects on his health, that he wasn't necessarily mad at.
When he looked into the studio mirrors late at night and saw his swollen lips, messy hair, and dark circles under his eyes he broke out into a smile.
He looked horrible, and he loved it. The teachers gave him more critiques, that were based on technique and how to improve.
If he wasn't pretty, he could be more.
The most critiques he got were on his dance. So, guess who stayed at the dance studio until his legs give out. It wasn't a pretty sight, but he needed the work.
Though, he failed to realize that a certain hyung of his was falling back into his old habits. So when he fell to the ground, Lee Minho running in and crouching next to him wasn't what he expected.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes growing more concerned the more he examined him.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just working on my routine for evaluation." he said, trying to stand up.
Minho pushed him back down,"You look horrible, what's wrong."
"You know when people think that you can do anything easily?"
"All the time, is that why you look like you got hit with a bus?"
He nodded,"I'm tired of being just handsome, this was the only way I could let them see me."
Minho shook his head,"but you need to take care of yourself."
"But then things will go back to normal," He sighed.
"We're our own harshest critics anyway, so if you're satisfied other people will be too."
"Thanks hyung."
He smiled,"No problem, go home and get some rest. Don't tell Chan I was here this late."
Hyunjin crossed his heart, jokingly, and went home as instructed.
As he healed and his body went back to normal, he did get those same "complements." But he was happy with himself and that's all he could ask.