Chapter Text
Jeongin was always seen as happy, but sometimes he just wasn't, and that was okay.
But he didn't think it was at the time. He was highly empathetic, and didn't like dragging people into his situations.
So on those days he faked it. keeping up the idea that he was happy while the rest of him was miserable.
They didn't know how he took the highest dose of anxiety meds he could before his audition.
The depression he slipped into before they gave him a second chance.
How red his eyes got when he cried about being, homesick.
He was just the bright boy From Busan with the brighter smile.
Not the terrified 13 year old, moving thousands of miles away from his family, who cried to them on the phone because he was depressed that day.
Sure, sometimes he was genuinely happy.
But he was very good at faking it.
One day, he slipped up.
With a sigh of frustration he leaned back in his chair. There was one note in the song that he couldn't sing right.
"It's okay Jeonginine, do you want me to sing it for you?" Seungmin said calmly, noticing his frustration.
With a nod from Jeongin he sang that part of the song, the note coming out perfectly, with no problems.
Jeongin tried to sing it and it never sounded right. He felt super bad for what he did next.
"This is bullshit!" he screamed.
"Do you want to take a break?" Seungmin said concern lacing his voice, Jeongin usually never swore.
The younger was stressed and couldn't stop the words that left his mouth. "No because I'm not going to be able to do it when i get back either. I'll just keep trying to deny the fact that I'm just a fucking disappointment."
"Are you okay?" Seungmin asked, trying to comfort the boy by placing a hand on his shoulder.
Jeongin immediately brushed it of of him,"Don't fucking touch me! I don't need your pity!" he shouted, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him.
It was only after that did he realize he had tears streaming down his face.
He ran into the first empty practice room he saw and slid against the wall.
Trying to hold in his tears didn't seem to work, considering he was full on sobbing in less than 3 minutes.
He heard the door to the room open and there was a long awkward pause between him and the person wearing beat up converse.
Without any words spoken the stranger handed him a tissue and sat down next to him.
Not thinking, he leaned against the strangers shoulder as his tears began to dry.
"Did you have a bad day?" he finally asked after he had calmed down.
Jeongin nodded, "I didn't mean to yell at Seungmin, but I was so frustrated."
He placed his hand in his hair,"it's okay to have bad days, especially if you seem so happy all the time."
"To tell you the truth I'm not as happy as you think," he sighs, that felt good to finally say."It's more of a distraction than actual emotions."
"That's fine, I know how it feels. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. You also have Seungmin." He said calmly.
Jeongin smiled, for the first time since he got here, someone finally cared. Someone finally understood how he felt and didn't make it awkward.
He glanced over at the person and saw that it was Chan, and somehow that made him feel even better. He could tell Chan felt these emotions a lot, and while that was a little upsetting he could also tell he knew how to handle them.
Getting up the thanked him and walked back to his practice room.
Seungmin sat there biting his nails, worried he said something wrong.
Jeongin cleared his throat,"I'm sorry Seungmin hyung."
Seungmin let out a breath of relief,"It's okay, you were just stressed. We should take a break, you voice sounds strained."
As they walked past Chan, he gave a knowing smile.
So, for once Jeongin wasn't faking the smile across his face.