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Phil Lester loved the winter. Which was ironic, really, considering he also loved the warmth, but that was just the way it had always been. He didn’t even know what it was in particular that got him so fond over the winter, just that it was there - the snow, the crunching noises it made when you walked on it. The way it blurred the sharp edges of the world, made everything seem nice and inviting. That it was dark nearly all around the clock, but not completely dark, just dusky, warmed by the yellow glow of old lamps and fireplaces.
Or maybe it was because of Christmases spent with his family, exciting new year’s celebrated with his friends. Saturdays huddled in Hogsmeade, the butterbeer warming his cold fingers. Cuddling with his friends in front of the fireplace in the common room, whispering lowly, providing comfort for the multiple plants around. Or it could be his birthday at the end of January, the comfortable get-together his friends planned for it. He was an introvert, sure, but he loved his friends, and sometimes, spending time with them was nice, even in bigger groups.
Overall, his adoration for winter didn’t seem to fit the rest of his personality. He loved the sun, he loved plants, he loved coziness - he was a Hufflepuff through and through. But it was there. He had never had a reason for anxiety during the winter - until now.
The winter before his seventeenth birthday he spent in an anxious anticipation, awaiting the thirtieth of January - his birthday. Not only would he be of legal age in the wizard society, it was also the day he would be able to finally perform the most important spell he’d ever perform: Indicare anima, the soulmate spell.
Once they turned seventeen, all wizards could start trying the soulmate spell. It would take most of them a few tries to perform it correctly, since there was no way of practising that particular spell beforehand, but once they did, a pattern would appear on their non dominating arm from the wrist on upward, curling around it in a twirling matter.
Phil was completely captured by the tattoos. They were delicate - beautiful even. Inside the twirls symbols were embedded that represented the soulmate, its colours spoke for their house or school, and the twirls and waves were sometimes broader, sometimes smaller; sometimes, they were formed as leaves or feathers or even blades.
He had seen quite a few of these marks by now. Some in passing, peeping out of rucked up sleeves, some closer. Hogwarts students would often find their soulmate tattoo in house colours, like his brother Martyn, who had the blue - bronze tattoo of his Ravenclaw soulmate on his arm. But there were other colours. His mom had a purely black one, revealing her soulmate (his dad) as a squib (it could also mean a muggle). The tattoo of Cara, a fellow Hufflepuff, was of a blood red and dark green colour, indicating a Durmstrang student. There were a lot more, all pretty common, except -
Except the one colour a wizard would not want to see in their soulmate mark.
Grey.
Not everything about the grey tattoos was uncovered yet. They happened, more commonly than people thought, but they were mostly useless since unreliable. There were too many different meanings. Sometimes the mark on the older soulmate would be grey simply because the other one hadn’t performed the spell yet. Sometimes it indicated a undecided soulmate who had already left school and now struggled in life, losing the connection to their former house or school. Sometimes it simply meant that their soulmate didn’t belong to the school they were in.
And sometimes - sometimes it meant that the soulmate was already dead.
Overall, Phil held a believe in the soulmate marks that few else possessed. His parents, his aunties and uncles, his cousins - his brother. They all had found their soulmate with the help of their marks, and they were all more than happy with the outcome. He could still remember the moment when Martyn’s mark had first touched the one of his soulmate Cornelia - both their marks had lit up, just for a second, proofing them as soulmates. Phil had been ecstatic. He loved his brother, and he loved Cornelia. He was the only Hufflepuff in his family except for some distant cousins, but neither his brother nor his soulmate had ever made a big deal out of it, and that meant a lot to him.
Martyn and Cornelia had been a couple for over a year now, and whenever Phil saw them on trips home or when they met him in Hogsmeade they looked so happy Phil was sure they were glowing.
He wanted that.
And he strongly believed his soulmate spell would get him there.
So it really wasn’t a surprise he was this anxious to perform the spell. Concentrating on schoolwork was basically impossible for days. He was glad he had one of his best friends, Hikari, with him in all of his curses, to keep him somewhat focused and preventing him from losing it completely, but in all honesty they were just lucky the teachers were cutting him some slack - for obvious reasons. They were used to it.
His birthday was on a Sunday this year. Hika and Will, his other best friend, had asked him if he wanted to wait, wanted to get the supervision of a teacher. Mrs. Sprout, their Herbology teacher and head of the house, assured her students almost daily how happy she was to help with soulmate spells, and she seemed to be particularly fond of Phil and his friends, but he had decided to do it alone - or, well, alone with his best friend.
Phil, Hika, and the rest of their friends spent the Saturday in Hogsmeade. It had snowed heavily during the night, so the snow was still mostly untouched by the time they started their walk over, and Phil found himself relaxing almost unwillingly at the scenery. He was clad in a fluffy beanie his mom had knitted him for Christmas. It was proudly displaying the Hufflepuff colours (yellow and black), and it meant a lot to him. His mom had never outrightly shown her disappointment in his house, but he had been sure there had always been some underlying chagrin - until last Christmas. Speaking from the proud looks, Cornelia had knocked some sense into her future mother-in-law, but that was just a suspicion.
He was trudging along the bridge towards Hogsmeade, Hika on his one arm, Olli on the other one, their friends Addie and Will behind them. They were a colourful group this morning, no doubt about it, and Phil took silent pride in them basically showcasing a rainbow. On his left side, Hika wore a bright green scarf his mom had given her for Christmas in honour of her soulmate - they were a Gryffindor, not a Slytherin, but one of the symbols embedded in the ornaments was a tree, so she had declared green her soulmate’s colour until further notice. On his right, Olli had chosen a pink wig this morning - she did that, sometimes. She was genderfluid, so she tried to make it easy for her friends by wearing a strikingly blue or pink accessory. Behind them, Phil knew Addie had her signature lilac beanie on her head, and Will closed the circle with the blue jacket Phil’s mum had given him for his last birthday.
“Oh, look who it is. Hufflepuff’s little rainbow,” a voice from their right sneered and the whole group turned in the direction. It was Rina, captain of Slytherin’s quidditch team, accompanied by their Seeker Nico and another player Phil didn’t know by name. As always, she wore a snarky looking grin on her face, but neither of the Hufflepuffs were really scared of her. Rina was rascal at best, but never outrightly vicious or cruel.
Will, who had stepped to Olli’s side to have a better look at the group - Nico in particular, Phil thought giddily and had to stifle a giggle - shot the group a wide grin. “Rina! Have you gotten over the defeat Gryffindor caused you by now? I heard you had to avoid the Slytherin common room for a while.” Nico shot Will a pointed glance. His lips didn’t move, but Phil could see the light in his eyes, and he wondered if Will had something to tell the group. He’d ask him tonight in the common room, he decided.
Olli, one of Hufflepuff’s beaters, giggled uncontrollably before bringing her eyes to Nico. “No offense to you, Nico, you’re a great seeker, but the rest of your team is useless,” she said, a conspiratorial tone in her voice that made it seem like she was sharing a secret with him.
“I’ve noticed,” he answered drily, and Phil just lost it. He started laughing, making the whole group laugh along with him, and when she noticed Nico grinning at Will brightly Rika’s face became an unhealthy shade of red.
Hika turned her face into Phil's chest, barely staying upright, and Phil had to clutch to her to not topple over. Will, being the best friend he was, had expected them to fall, and moved behind them to lend a hand if needed, and Olli and Addie hugged each other in silent laughter somewhere next to him.
Unfortunately, that left Phil open for attacks.
He heard Nico getting out a warning “Rina -”, then his head was suddenly uncomfortably cold. He blinked, unsure of what just happened, and needed a moment to assess the situation. Rina snickered wickedly, and when his sight finally cleared he saw Nico reaching out for something Rina held high in her left hand. Unfortunately for him, he was quite short and therefore unable to reach it.
When Phil finally realized it was his beanie she had taken he could feel his face shifting into anger almost immediately.
“Rina, give it back. That's childish and we both know it,” Nico gritted out, eyes somewhere behind the girl. Phil would've checked had he not been so fixated on her.
Nico had an aura of power around him like few else, and it made Rina’s minion, who had already moved to help her, yelp and step away from the scene, clearly scared of the consequences. No one wanted to cross Nico.
Even Rina halted in her movements. “It's just a stupid beanie, Nico -”
That's where she got cut off. A Gryffindor - apparent due to his house scarf - had stepped behind her unbeknownst to nearly all of them, snatching the beanie from her hand. He had held a silent conversation with Nico, Phil noticed unconsciously, but he didn't pay it much attention.
He was blinking at the guy that had snatched the beanie from her. “You won't avenge your devastating loss by picking on a Hufflepuff of all people, Rina,” he said, grinning, before moving to give Nico a high five. He towered over him by at least twenty centimeters, but they still seemed like they belonged like this.
Phil bristled for a second, flabbergasted, and tried to remember the name of the handsome guy with the dark locks. “Dan,” he breathed out when he remembered. “Dan Howell.”
They had met before, Phil was pretty sure, if only because their best friends were friends - or at least that was what Will called him and Nico, but they both knew that was half the truth at best - but they had probably never talked for longer then a few minutes. Phil would remember that, he was sure.
Dan’s eyes met his and Phil felt like he was drowning in chocolate. For a second, he lost all ability to focus, then a smile appeared on Dan’s face and the connection broke. “Phil Lester, right?” He stepped forward, towards Phil, holding out his beanie.
Phil nodded. “Thank you,” he answered, doing his best to sound unaffected. He offered Dan a smile back, who blushed.
It was Olli who broke the scene. She had let go of Addie and now started pulling Will along towards Hogsmeade, shouting a quick “come on guys!” behind her. The wide, mischievous grin on her face told Phil she wanted information, and something told Phil she wanted them from Will. Hikari next to him giggled. “Poor Will.”
Phil couldn’t help but agree.
____
With the distractive presence of his friends the day went by much faster than he had anticipated, and before he knew it, it was Sunday.
At breakfast the group surprised him with flowers and a very high-pitched (and flat) serenade that made him grin so wide his muscles started hurting. They spared him the presents, though, because they knew he couldn’t focus on them anyways, and promised him he’d get them after he’d perform the spell.
Startlingly, Olli had not gotten the information out of Will she’d wanted the day prior. Will had stayed determined and Phil admired his best friend even more for it, but it had left Olli dissatisfied. The Gryffindor, now sporting a bright blue wristband, wanted gossip.
And he wanted it now.
He was dead set on going with Phil to perform the spell. Phil was hesitant to even let his best friends in and definitely didn’t want Olli there, who was a great friend, sure, but couldn’t keep a secret even if a life depended on it.
As always, Will got Phil out of the situation, distracted Olli with stories about a Gryffindor who’d recently gotten his tattoo and was now searching for a Hufflepuff with a cat and an unnatural love for books and words. Over the table, he was making silent conversation with Phil, informing him they’d meet in an empty classroom they had assembled beforehand in ten minutes, so he got up, Hikari on his heels.
Hika had agreed to watch the hallway while Phil was performing the spell, and Phil was glad that she seemed to understand the intentions behind it. They all knew they didn’t indispensably need someone to guard the door and look for possible intruders, but Phil wanted her there - without having her there.
Will had a deeper understanding for Phil’s position than Hika had. She had performed the spell a few weeks ago, shortly before Christmas, and she’d never had the reservations and fears that Phil shared with Will. For her, the spell would work, or it wouldn’t - she looked forward to her soulmate, sure, but she had a lot going for her, and she didn’t need them. Not like Phil did.
Will on the other hand - he was like Phil in the Soulmate department. They had talked about it for hours, in the night in front of the fireplace of the Hufflepuff common room, or cuddled in their beds. Their roommates both had a deep sleep, and Phil and Will were best friends who didn’t mind sharing a bed to talk.
When they sat down on the ground in the empty classroom ten minutes later, Hika manned the door for them. While Phil tried to calm down enough to perform the spell correctly, Will told him what had happened. Knowing there weren’t many things that could distract Phil right now, he told him his secret like it was nothing. He would have anyways, with time, but now he did it because Phil needed him to.
Phil really, really loved his best friend.
So, while attempting to breathe evenly and empty his brain of all negative thoughts, he listened to Will laying out his heart.
“Nico performed his spell two days ago. He’s waited after his birthday, out of anxiety, I guess,” he said, eyes carefully observing Phil, watching for any signs of negativity. “Anyways, he performed it, and it’s a Hufflepuff.”
Phil stared at his best friend with wide eyes, urging him to go on, pointedly breathing in a calm manner. He hoped for good news. He could need some right about now.
“There’s a snitch, so it’s definitely a Quidditch player. Possibly a seeker.” Will was Hufflepuff’s most celebrated seeker. There was hope soaring in Will’s eyes and Phil couldn’t help but grab his hand. “There’s a bunch of medical symbols, a healing plant. And a sun.”
There was a wide grin spreading over Phil’s face, and he could feel his eyes sparkling. Will Solace was a genius in everything concerning healing, it was his biggest passion next to Quidditch. And his nickname since first grade had been Sunshine.
“Oh my god, Will. That’s you. It has to be you.” The joy bubbling in his voice seemed to spread over to Will, who let a grin slip. “I’m trying to not get my hopes up here, Phil.”
Phil just grinned back. “I don’t care what you say, it’s you. You’ll perform your spell in a few months and then we’ll know for sure.”
The smile on Will’s face was so warm Phil felt it down to his bones. “Thanks, Phil.”
It was silent for a while. Phil’s breathing was even and calm and Will’s aura of Sunshine made warmth settling in his whole body. He was ready.
Will nodded as if he’d read his mind and handed him his wand. “You can do this.”
Phil nodded, determination settling in him, took the wand into a relaxed grip and took a deep breath, clearing his thoughts of everything but the hope for his soulmate.
“Indicare Anima.”
For a second, nothing happened, and Phil already thought he’d gotten it wrong somewhere. Then, from zero to full force, a fire started burning in his left wrist, and he lost all control over his body. He hissed, pained, and closed his eyes. The fire started spreading upwards, from his wrist up to his elbow, got less and less painful, and then it was gone.
The first thing he saw were Will’s eyes, and the look in them made him halt. “No,” he breathed out, directing his eyes down to his left arm - and he almost blacked out, dread settling over him like a heavy blanket, making it hard to breath.
His soulmate tattoo was grey.
___
Surprisingly, Phil didn’t have as much struggle settling back into his life than he thought he’d have. Will dealt with the questions his friends had, and left Hika, who shared all classes with Phil, to do the same with teachers or fellow students.
Overall, the three grew even closer together than before, if that was even possible. Aside from the classes they didn’t share Will hardly ever left Phil’s side, only for Quidditch training or games. Whenever he had to, Hika was there to take his place and often enough they were together, all three of them. Teachers started referring to them as the colourful trio, and with all the pain cursing through him on a daily basis Phil revelled in the feeling of safety and love his best friends provided him with.
There was no doubt they were his safety net, his tower of strength. Whenever the dread or sadness threatened to overpower him, they were there, holding him upright and giving him the love he needed.
He rarely ever looked at his tattoo, didn’t even try to decipher the symbols. The first time looking at it had shattered his heart into pieces, leaving him bleeding and broken, and he didn’t intend on bringing the intensity of the first time back anytime soon - if at all.
He left it open purposefully sometimes, when he was alone with Hika and Will, to give them the chance to look at it, to start the search he had no strength to attempt. He knew that not all hope was lost, that there were multiple possible reasons for the colour, but the chances of finding his soulmate even if they were still alive were slim, and Phil didn’t dare to hope.
About a month after he had performed the spell the next Quidditch game came up. Slytherin was playing Ravenclaw, and while Phil usually lacked the enthusiasm for the sports, Will made up for it times ten, especially with Nico on the pitch. Phil had to admit Slytherin’s seeker was a sight to behold, and with the feelings Will possessed for the small boy it wasn’t a wonder he wanted to see him in his element.
It took some persuasion, but he decided to tag along to keep his mind off of things, and they both dragged Hikari along, even if she wasn’t really interested. Olli and Addie, who barely let go of each other’s hand by now, stayed back, and Phil and Will exchanged a meaningful look over that information.
When they arrived at the stands they were already packed full. A tall, dark figure winked Will over though, and Phil recognized Dan when they came closer. He had a Gryffindor scarf wrapped around his neck and an obviously grumpy housemate at his side. “Will!”, he greeted the Hufflepuff with a grin and waved at Phil, a blush covering his cheeks. “Hi, Phil.”
“Hey Dan,” Phil and Will retorted synchronously, turning around to pull Hika forward. “That’s Hikari, or Hika.”
Dan turned around to his housemate. “That’s Takeru. He’s grumpy because he overslept breakfast, but don’t let him fool you, he’s too nice for his own good.”
After the introductions were done the group fell into easy conversation. Dan and Will carried most of it, talking about Quidditch and the housecup, but they all got some retorts in, and it was nicer than Phil had anticipated. When Will had involved Takeru in a talk about Slytherin’s chances of winning today and Hika was busy staring at Takeru - was Phil sensing something there? - Dan took him aside.
“You’re Will’s best friend, right?” he asked, leaning in, and Phil’s heart jumped. “Yeah,” he answered, raising an eyebrow questioningly. A new blush appeared on Dan’s cheeks and Phil couldn’t help but grin. An easily flustered Gryffindor, interesting.
“Just - did he tell you about the tattoo?” he asked, seemingly not noticing Phil’s smugness.
A stab of pain flashed through Phil, but he pushed it down, pressing his nails into the palm of his hands to keep his breathing even. He nodded, letting the joy over his best friend’s probable soulmate overpower his dread. “You also think it’s Will?” he asked, but it almost sounded more like a statement than a question.
Dan raised an eyebrow as if asking really?. “Obviously,” he stated matter-of-factly and the grin creeped back onto Phil’s face. If even Nico’s best friend saw it, who didn’t even know Will as good as Phil did…
Suddenly, it got loud around them. Phil turned around to take a look at the pitch, where the players were taking positions. The Slytherin fanblock behind them started chanting Nico’s name, who waved in their general direction. To an clueless spectator it might have looked like he was waving at the fans, but Phil knew better. Will was slightly blushing and waved back with a grin on his face, and only then Nico turned his attention back to the words of Ms. Hooch, an expression of smug satisfaction on his face.
“Will you bring him to the lake when he’s performed the spell?”
Dan’s voice was suddenly incredibly close to his ear and Phil’s eyes went wide. He could feel Dan’s breath skimming over his skin, and he had to suppress a shudder. Holy fuck.
He was so distracted by the feelings pushing through him, it took him a while to comprehend the words Dan had said. “Absolutely,” he answered then, turning to Dan and giving him a grin that made him blush yet again. “T-thanks,” he murmured, then he turned towards the pitch and Phil smirked. The Gryffindor was definitely cute.
It was during a particularly risky move it happened. Nico had finally spotted the snitch somewhere between Slytherin’s rings and went for it without hesitation. Their beaters, only focussing on the Ravenclaw chaser aiming for the rings, quaffle in her hand, sent a bludger her way - only it went right past her, towards Nico…
The Slytherins behind Phil in the others were so anxious, pattering their feets, that one of them lost their footing, falling forwards, right onto Takeru. They managed to keep themselves upright, not toppling over, but they shoved Takeru right into Hika, who had been turned towards him to say something. Their left arms touched -
Suddenly, a blinding light shone through both of their sleeves. They pulled them up to reveal their soulmate tattoos shining brightly, before the light went down again like nothing had happened.
The pain in Phil’s chest was so harsh, so fierce it almost brought him to his knees. He almost toppled over, loosing his balance, but Will was there to catch him. “What happened?” he asked, clueless. “I was watching Nico, was scared he’d get hit - why did you fall?”
“Hika,” Phil whispered, pain radiating through his chest. He was so, so happy for his friend. He was.
But it also hurt, knowing - or at least believing he would never have that.
It only took one look for Will to assess the situation. He looked back and forth between Phil and Hika, trying to analyze if it was more important to comfort Phil or congratulate Hika.
Before he had made a decision the pain in Phil’s chest subsided. That was the way it was, and he’d have to live with that - but his friend just had a revelation so severe it couldn’t leave her unaffected.
And really, when both him and Will turned around Hika was already looking at them. With anxiety in her eyes she cradled her left arm to her chest like it was broken. Phil took a deep breath. His friend needed help, and he would be there for her, no matter what.
___
It didn’t take much time for everything to settle down again. Slytherin had won the game, only slightly and because of Nico, but that had only been a sidenote to the day.
Hikari had found her soulmate.
She was spending more time with Takeru now, but she didn’t forget Phil or Will, and for that, he was glad. Will and her still made sure that one of them was around Phil at all times, and the ice pickle in his heart subsided slightly with every day.
Around a month later Will’s birthday was coming up. After Hufflepuff’s game against Gryffindor - which Hufflepuff won, with Will catching the snitch and teasing both Nico and his best friend Dan about it - he didn’t have much to focus on, and he was getting more and more anxious by the day.
Phil coped with it better than he’d have thought a few weeks prior. His soulmate tattoo prickled often, now, ensuring that he couldn’t keep his mind off of it anymore - and somehow, the pain got duller, like he had gotten numb. Which probably wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but it worked.
Will and him spent a lot of time together, talking about nothing and everything, and Phil learned a lot - from Will, but also with him. One night, a few days before Will’s birthday, they were both lying in Phil’s bed, basically contemplating life, when Will started crying. It came more or less out of nowhere for Phil, and he was worried about his friend, but he assured him there was no reason to.
“It’s just,” Will mumbled, staring up onto the ceiling, silent tears running down his face, “I’m so sorry to say that, to sound like I get profit from your misery…” He sobbed, quietly, and Phil sat up in his bed. “I think I… We needed that. You know I hurt along with you, I really do, but it made me realize… We’re worth enough ourselves, you know?”
His words hit Phil like a brickwall. He was propped up on his elbows, slightly bend to the side to stare at his still crying best friend. “We… We don’t need soulmates,” he whispered, and it was like he saw the world clearly for the first time in forever. He didn’t need a soulmate. Having one would be nice, sure, but he was his own person. He didn’t require someone else to make his life hole.
He knew his best friend had said the words he’d always needed to hear - needed to understand.
I’m enough.
It took him quite some time to calm his best friend down. Will was an incredibly compassionate and kindhearted person, and getting something out of a situation so hurtful for his best friend took its toll on him. In the end Phil was able to assure Will that he had been right, that he had both needed it. They learned a lesson through it, a lesson incredibly important to the both of them, and that was more than he could’ve hoped for. He knew that in a few days, Will’s soulmate would reveal themselves to be Nico, and he’d be so incredibly happy for his friend.
There was still a sense of loss within him, sure. But now he knew he had the best friend imaginable. And that he’d be okay.
____
On Will’s birthday they had classes in the morning, but after that they huddled together in an empty classroom to perform the spell. He had his reservations about it, determined to not perform the spell out of some strange sense of solidarity for Phil, but both Hika and Phil did some persuasion and convinced him to do it.
This time it was Phil’s task to make Will be calm, and he did so by listing a number of reasons Phil was happy to have Will as his best friend, and how happy he’d be for him when he’d have Nico at his side as his soulmate.
The first time he tried the spell nothing happened, but Phil had assumed as much with the way Will’s hand had been shaking. On the second try, though, it worked, and Phil got to observe how a shimmering light made its way from Will’s wrist up his bare arms. The light was so bright Phil had trouble focussing on it, but when it sizzled out and got dimm enough to allow a look he was mesmerized.
The tattoo was beautiful. It was the first Slytherin one he got to see, and what he’d heard was true. The dark green made a beautiful contrast to the sparkling silver, especially on Will’s tanned skin. The swirls were bold and powerful with smaller ends, talking even without the symbols embedded, and that alone seemed to fit Nico’s personality so perfectly Phil could feel tears brimming his eyes.
He looked up into Will’s face before he could succump to the temptation of analyzing the symbols without him. Will’s eyes were full of a sense of hopeful anxiety, and Phil’s face stretched into a grin out of its own accord.
They had a silent conversation, then Will raised his arm and Phil took a hold of it to lead the search for symbols. The first they found was a snitch, almost hidden within an ending swirl.
“Seeker,” Phil stated giddily and Will squeezed his arm as a motion of silent understanding.
The next one they found was a cute little raven, sitting on a twirl like it was a branch. “Raven,” Phil said. He knew he needed to voice what he saw out loud. He knew Will needed his reassurance that he wasn’t hallucinating.
His wand fell out of Will’s free hand with a clatter. He balled it to a fist, but Phil could still see it trembling. Nico had a pet Raven that he shared a special connection with.
All the next three symbols pointed towards Nico as well - pretty specifically even. A musical note (Nico was particularly fond of muggle music). A rune that stood for the letter W (Nico’s favorite rune - what a surprise), a symbol shaped like a wavy M that they both knew stood for the human fast food chain McDonalds that Nico loved. An omega, a letter of the greek muggle alphabet that was Nico’s family crest.
The search was surprisingly therapeutic for Phil, and he found himself growing more and more curious towards his own tattoo as it progressed. Even if he would never meet his soulmate, it would still be interesting to know what their symbols were.
Again, it seemed like Will was able to read Phil’s mind. “Let’s check your tattoo, too.”
Phil looked up, into his best friend’s striking blue eyes. “Later. First, we’re going to the lake.”
Naturally, he ignored Will’s confusion and protests entirely.
__
When they arrived at the lake Dan was already there, coming to meet them on the way. Phil could see Nico’s small figure sitting under a tree, eyes closed and relaxed, and he raised an eyebrow towards Dan. “I don’t think he slept tonight,” Dan explained, reading his silent question without any problem. A warmth shot through Phil that he couldn’t decipher.
He nodded, pulling a clueless Will forwards that blinked between them, completely confused. “Huh?”, he asked, then Dan shoved his left sleeve out of the way, carefully inspecting the tattoo. When he raised his eyes to meet Phil’s there were tears shining in them, and again, they didn’t need words to communicate. The warmth’ intensity increased again and Phil frowned for a second. He wasn’t getting sick, was he?
Dan turned around, moving towards Nico and shouting his name in the process, Phil and Will right behind him. He had let go of Will’s wrist now, he didn’t need to pull him anymore. Will had spotted Nico, and Phil could practically feel the hope radiating off of his best friend on his skin.
Nico woke up, startled, and leaped onto his feet faster than Phil could blink. For a second, he seemed disorientated, then his eyes focused on Will’s and they were in their own little world.
Dan and Phil stood back as their best friends approached each other, closely next to each other, and it took all of Phil’s willpower to not reach for Dan’s hand directly next to his. No, he did not want to hold Dan’s hand. Absolutely not.
Dan didn’t seem to have gotten the memo. His pinky finger wrapped around Phil’s almost sneakily and for a second, both of their breathings hitched.
Then the scene in front of them demanded their whole attention.
While approaching, Will had pulled up the sleeve of his rope, holding his arm in front of him like an entrance card. His eyes were locked with Nico’s, who’s left arm was outstretched as well, and when they finally stood in front of each other and pushed their arms together they didn’t even need to look towards their tattoos. The light breaking through the skin was so bright Phil had to cover his eyes even a few meters away. When it got dimmer and he was able to see again, Nico and Will were kissing, so tenderly and lovingly his heart was bursting.
There was a tear running down his face and Dan left to him had to suppress a sob.
When Dan’s pinky squeezed his own it felt right, but he pretended he didn’t care.
___
Because neither Will nor Nico were willing to cut down on the time with their best friends or each other Phil found himself in Dan’s company more often than not. Sometimes Hika and Takeru were there as well, sometimes Olli and Adie accompanied them, and sometimes the whole group went to the Honeyduke together and they had to push two tables together to fit them all.
It was nice, it was comfortable and comforting and it became his routine so fast it was dizzying. His strange infatuation with Dan continued, but he refused to give it any mind, even when Will pointed out that some of the symbols of his soulmate tattoo that they had finally inspected together did seem to point towards the Gryffindor.
At the start of May the next Quidditch match came up: Hufflepuff versus Slytherin. Will and Nico had been excited for weeks, and even the usually pretty calm Slytherin talked about it regularly. In all reality, they knew Slytherin probably didn’t stand a chance. Their team was mediocre at best, and Hufflepuff hadn’t lost at all yet this year.
The rest of team Hufflepuff teased Will relentlessly about going against Nico, and even Phil had to admit the game had its excitements. He giggled frequently when the conversation stirred that way, and he loved seeing both Will and Nico becoming flustered about it. Dan’s sarcastic remarks thrown into the mix made it even more hilarious to watch.
On the day of the game Phil found himself next to Dan on the stands. Hika and Takeru were there as well, holding hands, and Adie had placed herself next to Phil. As a beater, Oli was in more danger of getting hurt than the rest, and it wasn’t a wonder Adie was anxious about it.
For the first few minutes the game was spectacular but almost ridiculously boring in terms of the outcome. Hufflepuff basically rolled over Slytherin, and Hufflepuff’s keeper got bored pretty soon because he had nothing to do.
When the game seemed almost decided already - Hufflepuff was leading 200 to 20 and even the snitch couldn’t have brought them the win - a Slytherin beater lost all self-control and mindlessly hit the bludger in the general direction of the first yellow robe he saw. Will and Nico had both momentarily halted mid-air after the snitch had disappeared beneath the stadium and were scanning the pitch intensely, not paying attention to the other players.
The bludger hit Will into the back without a warning. Phil could hear the sickening sound of breaking bones, then a scream rung through the air, so loud and piercing it drowned out all other noises.
Phil’s blood ran cold instantly. His pinky finger was clasping Dan’s, but he didn’t even realize; all he could see and hear and feel was his best friend falling, falling, falling.
It was Nico’s desperation that probably saved Will’s life. He had been on the opposite site of the pitch and the attempt seemed completely futile, but he had given all he had, and he reached Will just in time before he met the ground. He was unable to get a correct hold of Will, to keep himself and an unconscious body up on his broom, but he slowed Will’s fall enough to give Madam Hooch the time to react. She caught Will in a spell and let him glide to the ground slowly.
Even with the worst outcome prevented it was still obvious it was bad. Will was unconscious and the sound ringing out on impact of the bludger was most definitely embedded into Phil’s brain forever.
He stood there, observing motionlessly as Will got carried away towards the hospital wing. Nico had landed, already in tears, and was soon out of sight, running after Will. Phil on the other hand couldn’t even comprehend what had just happened. His brain just replayed the sickening sound as well as the picture of his best friend falling over and over again and reality seemed further away than ever before.
He couldn’t lose Will. He couldn’t.
He went down almost in slow-motion, but strong arms caught him before he could hit the ground. They engulfed him, scaring away the pictures and sounds until there was nothing but darkness and a warm voice whispering sweet nothings.
The burning sensation in his Soulmate tattoo during the embrace went by completely unnoticed.
__
It took Will a long time to recover, but Madam Pomfrey told them he was lucky he was still alive. His spine and his ribs had taken some serious damage, but she had been able to repair it all without lasting effects. The healing process would just take a lot longer than with minor injuries.
Both Nico and Phil were so relieved to hear he’d be okay they fell into a hug almost instantly. Nico was normally not a touchy person and acted uncaring, which made the state he was in after Will’s accident even more severe, and it make them form an emotional connection with each other that Phil never would have seen coming.
Phil on his part felt like he couldn’t let go of either of them for weeks. He had to constantly make sure that Will was okay, and that included Nico, but his bond with Dan was surprising even himself. The Gryffindor had become such an emotional support, his personal power of strength, that leaving him seemed almost unmanageable at times - like at night, when they all had to go their separate ways. He settled for cuddling Will until they were both asleep to make up for it, an he basked in the feeling. Knowing his best friend was alive and well was something he’d never take for granted ever again.
Even after Madam Pomfrey had assured them that Will would be okay Nico was still more than furious. When he encountered the Slytherin responsible for the Bludger his aura was so dark and powerful the beater didn’t speak for weeks afterwards. Thankfully, both Dan and Phil were there to keep Nico from doing anything worse, but it was a close call.
Still, it had brought the group closer than ever. After Will got released from the hospital wing they were hardly seen alone, sitting together even during meal times. After school or on the weekends they regularly sat outside near the lake, studying or talking or just doing nothing.
The burning sensation in Phil’s soulmate tattoo was so constant by now he didn’t even pay it any mind anymore, instead he forgot about the issue almost entirely. When Nico and Dan both disappeared after classes, he didn’t even think too much about it. Will’s futile looks told him that it should make him peak up, but he refused to pay it any mind. They were back in time for dinner like nothing had happened, so Phil just forgot about it.
The following Saturday they met up at the lake almost immediately after breakfast to study. Their end of the year exams were coming up and neither one of them felt ready for it, but studying together had worked so far, so they weren’t going to change that.
Phil and Will were already there, sitting on a picnic rug and basking in the bright sunshine that pleased both of the Hufflepuffs, when Dan and Nico approached them. Nico sat down next to Will, so close they were touching, and Will greeted him with a kiss to the cheek. The Slytherin still blushed whenever Will showed him even a hinch of affection, and Phil couldn’t help but aw silently. They were too freaking adorable.
Dan choose a place next to Phil, a rosy patch on his cheek appearing when Phil grinned over to him widely.
Phil snickered and exchanged a look with Will, who raised an eyebrow. The silent question was clear, but Phil just tilted his head to the side a bit, indicating that he wasn’t sure. And really, he refused to think about it. At least right now.
Then they started studying, and everything aside from Herbology completely left his mind.
__
After he and Will had quizzed each other on Herbology he desperately needed a break. He closed his book with a loud thud, then he flopped over backwards, sprawling out his legs and looking up at the sky. Will, poking his leg with his foot, started laughing. “Same,” he said, then a quiet thump followed, indicating that Will was copying Phil’s current position.
A quiet giggle sounded from Phil’s left and a body laid down next to him, so close their shoulders were almost touching. He didn’t need to check to know that it was Dan.
“Lazy sods,” a voice grumbled from the other side of the rug and then another thumping sound followed. Phil giggled.
For a while they all just laid there, listening to the sounds of the waves and the chirping of birds. Phil was savouring the sun on the naked skin of his arms, on his face, on his closed eyelids, and thought that he could just stay like this forever.
His arm moved over to Dan’s out of his own accord. It had just become so normal, so natural to wrap his pinky around Dan’s and he didn’t think -
Suddenly, there was a burning in his arm, almost as strongly as months ago when he had performed the spell, and when he opened his eyes to look down on it there was a light so bright he had to close them again immediately.
He squinted, trying to distinguish what was happening.
“What -”
The question caught in his throat. As the light got dimmer it was apparent it had come from his and Dan’s touching arms, but that wasn’t even what phased him that much -
What really got him was the colour. He hadn’t seen Dan’s Soulmate tattoo before, maybe because it had always been pretty cold out; actually, he hadn’t even known he had one. Dan had never mentioned his birthday and Phil had completely forgotten about the whole ordeal with the spell and the greyness and the pain - and now it was gone. The pain, the greyness, gone. He only caught a quick glimpse of Dan’s colourless tattoo, then Hufflepuff’s warm shade of yellow coated his symbols like the first rays of sunshine on a snowfield.
And it didn’t only happen to Dan’s. Phil’s own tattoo, previously grey and dull, almost sad, was suddenly coloured in. Particularly the centerpiece, a majestic, drawn lionhead, was proudly highlighted in a swirl of Gryffindor’s red and gold and Phil’s heart contracted almost painfully -
Bloody hell.
Gryffindor. A fucking Gryffindor with a love for words and the moon and stars and flying, possibly quidditch...
Later, he’d find it hilarious that his brain analyzed the symbols first, that the fact that it was a Gryffindor made his thoughts go to Dan.
As if the light hadn’t been proof enough.
For some time he couldn’t do anything else but stay still and look down onto the tattoos, almost like in shock. He counted his pounding heartbeats - one, two, three, four, five - then he forced himself to take a deep breath and sit up. Next to him, Dan was doing the same, and their eyes met.
It was like time itself stood still. Like the earth stopped spinning as the warm glow of dark chocolate enveloped him, engulfed him in a comforting embrace that he didn’t want to ever get out of.
Then the sun came out from behind a single cloud, shining down on them with full force. Dark chocolate became milk chocolate, the brown curls over them shone brightly like a halo and the light got caught in the deep dimple next to plushy, dark lips. Dan had always been good looking to Phil, but in this moment he was the epitome of beauty.
Again, his body seemed to move out of its own accord, and when his lips finally met Dan’s, it was like the sun came out in his heart as well.
___
With Will and Nico’s help they took some time to inspect each other’s tattoo. The symbols in Dan’s representing Phil fit him like a glove, and it made his heart grow warm with love. The centerpiece was a dragon, for his love for magical creatures and dragons specifically, then there was a mandrake for his passion for herbology. A cloud with snowflakes as well as the sun displayed his love not only for snow and the winter, but the sun and the warmth as well. The last one was a triskelion, a celtic symbol that stood for family as well as the Isle of man specifically, where Phil’s dad owned a holiday cottage they often visited during the summer.
Dan traced the pattern and symbols on Phil’s arm with his fingertips as they looked at them. A quill as well as a parchment scroll for his love for runes and words. A broom for flying and quidditch. The moon and some stars, which were kind of self-explanatory. And the centerpiece, the lionhead, almost glowing in its radiating red and golden colours.
Afterwards, things settled into place like they had always meant to be this way. Their routines hardly changed at all, and it made Phil realize how close him and Dan had been even before their tattoos. Now, though, there were stolen kisses and cheesy declarations, touches and looks. Dan still got flustered when Phil send him a suggestive wink and he still took Nico’s side when they had a discussion, just like Will took Phil’s; and somehow, that made him happy the most. The knowledge that their tattoos hadn’t changed them, at least not too much, that he had found his soulmate without losing himself was comforting beyond anything else.
Hufflepuff won the Housecup this year, mainly due to Will and his excellent skills as a seeker, which had won them every Quidditch match this year. They threw a big party and celebrated Will as well as the rest of the Team excessively, but Phil got his shoutout as well for all the points he had gained for the house during Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. Naturally, the party was mainly attended by Hufflepuff’s, but Dan and Nico celebrated with them like the proud boyfriends/soulmates that they were, and it made a new wave of warmth shoot through Phil - a lot of things seemed to do that by now.
During the summer holidays he introduced Dan to his parents and his brother as well as Cornelia, and they accepted him into the family immediately. His meeting of Dan’s parents and his brother also went well, and they were traveling between each other’s houses through the flee network almost daily. They met up with Will and Nico, had fun and relaxed, and it was the best summer Phil had ever had.
At the end of it he was honestly looking forward to their last school year. It would be hard, definitely, but he would get through it, and he’d enjoy almost every step of the way. He wasn’t alone, he had a newly found friend, his best friend, and his soulmate, whom he loved with all his heart. He was content - and happier than he’d ever been.