Work Text:
November 27, 1999
Leone was very heavy, it was something Bruno had become very intimately familiar with with since they met. lately he had to be the one to pick him up after certain nights of binge drinking, those nights that all to often ended up with Leone getting into a fist fight as well.
That had been what had happened this evening, Bruno had been at home, trying to rest after having finally finishing up the last of his paperwork when his phone had rung, the man on the other line had been the owner of the bar where Leone had started a fight. He was lucky really, the fact that most people knew that he was one of Buccellati’s men meant that many would turn a blind eye and not call the cops on him whenever he got to rowdy.
It made Bruno’s stomach turn to think of all the times that hadn’t been the case. Before they had meet, when there had been no one to pick him up at the end of the night. When he had arrived at the bar Leone as it turned out was a bit to out of it to be left to his own devices, at least in Bruno’s opinion.
So he had brought him here, to the suite of a very prestigious hotel that had been housing Fugo for nearly two years now. The boy didn’t have any place to stay when they had first meet so Bruno had arranged it for him, it was easy, after all amongst many things in the city Passione controlled all the hotels. For the last month or so Narancia had been staying there as well.
Leone really wasn’t even that responsive at the moment Bruno finally managed to cross the threshold to the suite. He was lucky to have had the spare key on him at the time. Leone was only really leaning on him now, barely moving his feet, at least he didn’t put all his weight on Bruno, so it continued on being difficult but still manageable to drag him towards one of the couches of the living room.
Bruno almost let Leone fall against the pillows of the couch. Afterwards he sat down on the floor for a moment to catch his breath, the walk from the taxi, all the way up the stairs to the front door and then to the elevator had been longer than he had anticipated. It would have been harder to bring him to his own apartment though, the house he lived in was old and lacked any elevators at all, and he lived on the third floor.
He could hear Leone mutter from the couch, his face pressed down into one of the pillows. That wasn’t good, his nose was still bleeding and It would likely stain the fabric. Bruno stood up again,
“I’m going to go get some supplies from the bathroom, just stay here” he said and made his way out of the living room.
While he felt sorry for barging in on both Narancia and Fugo like this in the middle of the night, he did notice that the boys weren’t exactly living cleaninly. the kitchen was littered with various trash from take out food and a few empty pizza boxes, next to a fair amount of unwashed dishes. Said litter had also extended out into the living room table and floor, and now walking through the corridor right outside the bedrooms of the suite he could see a few odd piles of dirty clothing on the floor.
Bruno sighed at the sight of it, he couldn’t really be disappointed in them though. he should have anticipated this, what else really could be expected of two teenage boys being given free range of a three bedroom suite without any supervision. He came up to one of the two bathrooms the suit had, the place was set up with a wealthy family on vacation in mind. As such it had two bathrooms, one smaller located between two of the smaller bed rooms, and one bigger connected to the master.
Bruno only had to take one look at the smaller bathroom to understand that it was probably rarely used. It lacked any tell tale sign of Unwashed clothing or other things smattered around. He checked the medical cabinet just to be sure though, but as he had expected it was empty.
Which meant that he had to go through the master bedroom. He really didn’t want to wake Narancia or Fugo, it was late in the night, but he also wanted to spare Leone from the embarrassment off having to have the younger members of his group see him at his lowest. Bruno knew how much Leone despised having just him see this part of him. He was hurting, still and Bruno wanted nothing more than to ease that hurt, having Narancia or Fugo see him would make things worse.
Bruno came up to the door to the master bedroom He took of his shoes and instead of opening the door he zipped his way through it, trying to walk as slow as possible to not make too much noise.
The inside was dark, and he could hear the sound of breathing. Just as he came closer to the bed on his way towards the bathroom he could make out the shapes laying on it. At most he had expected Fugo to sleep there but he saw now that Narancia was laying there beside him, the older boy almost laying on top of Fugo.
They looked very content, sleeping next to one another. They was a very sharp contrast between them. Fugo being as pale as he was, with all his sharp angles and long limbs, dressed well in a button up satin pajamas. Next to Narancia’s tan skin and short stature, that was dressed only in what seems to be a too big t-shirt.
Some part of Bruno’s heart ached a bit as he looked on them. He was happy of course, that they had found each other, they had been so lost and alone in the world, and he was content in that he could help them feel at least a bit more at home in one another. But still he had wanted better for Narancia, better than this life, that in the end only brought pain, pain because you had to hurt people who sometimes didn’t deserve it, pain because people you cared about easily could end up in the crossfire that their occupation brought.
That pain would eat at you, until you had to feel numb to nearly everything or else you’d go mad, because you knew that you were attached to and served someone who was reprehensible, who’s actions had killed so many who did not deserve it, and you could do nothing but just continue on, and numb yourself until you felt nothing.
Bruno knew he was being unfair though, Narancia had not known any of that when he joined. He had wanted to be and work with the people who had saved him. But he wished so that the boy hadn’t thought of them as his best option, indeed this path shouldn’t even be considered as an option. It was a last Hope, as it had been for Leone and Fugo. Or it wasn’t and option at all, but an obligation, he had not chosen this, he would never have chose this life if he had known what it would do to him. And he didn’t want it for Narancia. He might very well be projecting but he truly felt like the boy deserved better.
Bruno walked as quietly as he could, and managed to enter the bathroom without disturbing the two sleeping boys. He caught his own reflection when he switched the light on. The face that looked back at him looked so very tired. He sighed, it was late in the night after all. He began to dig through the medical cabinet of the bathroom, it was obvious that this one was in use, all the expected clutter and mess that had been completely absent from the first bathroom was spread all around it.
Bruno collected what he came there for, a few band aids, disinfectant, some cotton swabs for Leone’s nosebleed, and after taking a long hard look at it, a bottle of painkillers as well. He walked back outside as quietly as he had entered. He cast a glance once more on the sleeping boys, and he felt his heart ache again, but for a different reason. He felt some jealousy, for what they had, intimacy, obvious affection, love perhaps. They were so young and they already seemed to have such an abundance of it. But he, no he couldn’t have that, the man his heart ached for couldn’t find it in himself to give that to him.
He partially blamed himself for wishing so much for it. He should know better by now, he should have known the moment that he meet Leone that it wasn’t an option, that he shouldn’t get attached in this way. But he had, maybe it was just an act of selfish defiance on the part of his heart. To not just give in and become a husk that only worked to do its duty. To still care and love and ache, to stubbornly feel like he was still human. But he didn’t know if it was in fact making it even worse, pain meant he was still alive after all, that he still cared but it still made giving up feel so tempting. Perhaps he should just stop focusing on fixing others all the time in order to ignore his own problems, nothing good was going to come out of it after all.
He thought on this as he stepped back into the living room. To Bruno’s surprise Leone was no longer laying face down on the couch anymore. No he was crouched Down on the floor digging through the mostly untouched mini bar and downing what seemed to be a miniature bottle of whiskey. Bruno also saw at least two empty small bottles on the floor next to him.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Bruno said with a furrowed brow, why must he do this. Why can’t he just lay and rest while letting Bruno tend to his injuries for the evening. Leone wouldn't even have to say anything, just letting himself be touched would have made Bruno feel content. He would have looked at Leone’s proud, handsome face he would feel just how much he loved this man, and he would have known that Leone was thankful for all that he did, and then he would continue, as he always did whenever Leone gave him a rare smile or any other sign of affection, to nurture that stubborn hope in his heart that one day Leone would be ready to let himself be loved.
But no he had to continue to try and drink himself to death. He sure didn’t seem to register that Bruno had even spoke.
“Leone, could you please listen to me” Bruno said in a firm tone, it was almost an order, maybe adherent to one, had Leone been sober he would have listen and do as he was asked without a thought. But Leone wasn’t sober, he was drunk and seemed dead sett to keep it that way.
“You know they have taken some from here, not good at all, you should make sure they don’t start drinking at their age” Leone said in a slurred voice while continuing to stare into the small fridge. Indeed the idea that Narancia or Fugo pilfering alcohol from the hotel didn’t sit to well with Bruno but that's besides the point.
“Don’t change the subject please” he said while crossing his arms, he felt more like a nagging wife at this point than his boss. “You need to rest and tend to your injures not drink more” he said.
Leone let out a loud sigh.
“If you’d just get the fuck out and leave me to it I would be just fine” he muttered under his breath, still audible to Bruno though. “I don’t need your help, I didn’t ask you for it, just let me drink, it will stop hurting then” he said.
His words upset Bruno but he couldn’t let it show, he had to appear in control, never let anyone see him falter, not even the man he loved. ‘He didn’t mean it, it was just the drink talking, had he truly been aware of what he was saying he would be horrified at the idea of speaking to Bruno in that way.’ He thought to himself. He watched as Leone downed another small bottle of liquor that he fished out of the fridge.
Bruno felt frustration well up inside him. It wasn’t usually like this, sure Leone could be difficult that was for sure but he would always listen to what ever Bruno had to say, but if Leone didn’t want to listen then he would make him.
The small bottle in Leone’s hand split cleanly in two pieces as Bruno put down and opened a zipper across the middle of it with a speed so quick that Leone didn’t even register that Bruno had summoned his stand. Sticky fingers de materialized as fast as it had been summoned and the rest of the bottles content splashed down on Leone’s face as well as the rug on the floor.
Leone started to cough as some of the liquid had run down his nose. He leaned forward on all fours on the floor to catch his breath. Bruno closed the small frigid door with his foot and kept it there so Leone wouldn’t get any idea to try to open it again.
“Now I’m not going to ask you again” he said with a stern voice, one he reserved for intimidating anyone on the receiving end of the gangs irrer. “Go over to the couch and lay back down” he continued.
”Or what?” Leone said still on all fours in front of him “will you make me?’” he said it in a sarcastic manner. It was obvious he wasn’t thinking at all who he was talking to, he wasn’t thinking that it was Bruno, no in his head it was only some annoying nuisance of a person who couldn’t take a hint that he didn’t want any ‘help’.
“If I have to I will, but that’s only if you force the matter” Bruno answered, in a less harsh tone than before. Leone unsteadily got back on his feet and stared down at Bruno, his eyes seemed almost glossed over.
“I’d really like to see you fucking try” he almost hissed at him.
Bruno moves first, he wasn’t trying to harm, simply immobilise him so he could make leone lay back down. He started with summing sticky fingers but for the split second it took him to do that Leone had already made a grab for him, slamming him into the wall with enough force to make Bruno’s ears ring.
He was distorted for a moment, his stand disappearing before it was even fully corporeal. He hadn’t thought about the fact that Leone wouldn’t have used his own stand and instead would have gone after him directly. Of course he didn’t, he never consider that he would ever have to fight Leone before. But he was reminded now that the taller man held him pressed against the wall that Leone was in fact physically stronger than him.
Leone was breathing heavily, his long hair was hanging in front of his eyes, Bruno could see some blood in it still from the fight he had been in earlier. He was still beautiful, beaten bruised and at his lowest there was still a beauty to the way he still had some pride left in himself. Those were the thoughts running through Bruno’s head when all he could do was look at him.
A moment of realization seems to overcome Leone then, he fully understood what he was actually doing. The tight grip at he had on Bruno’s shoulders relaxed, he looked downwards and Bruno could feel his feet touch the floor again. He didn’t let go but his grip was lose enough now that Bruno could break free with little to no effort now.
He didn’t though, he put his hand against Leone’s cheek, he could feel tears there now mingled with the blood.
“I’m only trying to help you, you know that” he spoke, tender now, with so much heartache behind his words. But he couldn’t let it show, he must be strong, for the both of them.
“I never asked you too” he mumbled in response “you shouldn’t have to, I’m...i’m not worthy…” he said trailing of, his words still slurring “I’m not worthy” he repeated.
“Am I not the one who decides who’s worthy of me?” Bruno asked, why couldn’t he see how much he was truly worth, he was so strong, so proud, so beautiful in Bruno’s eyes, but still he couldn’t see it. If anything why would someone such as Leone have an interest in him truly, why would leone care about a broken boy who couldn’t live for himself and instead could only make sacrifice after sacrifice for others in vain, until there was nothing left of him.
Bruno didn’t think about the fact that he was leaning forward, it wasn’t until his lips were on Leone’s that he even realized it. The kiss was chaste at first. It wasn’t the first time this had happened even, but still to Bruno every time felt like the first.
He felt Leone’s lips move against his own, Bruno had closed his eyes by now kissing back, and begging in the back of his head for Leone to stay to let it continue, to just let him love him for once. The moment lasted for what felt like both an eternity but also just a second. Bruno felt Leone put his hands on his sides, the touch now gentle, so different from the forceful handling he received earlier. His own hands were at the back of Leone’s neck, caressing and touching, just feeling some part of him, some closeness, some intimacy anything truly. Bruno was so starved for the touch he craved from him. He felt Leone kissing him back or at least he thought so for a moment.
And then it came as it always had, to an abrupt end, leone pulled away. Bruno opened his eyes and looked at him, leone had taken a step back, his gaze once more trailed on the floor, not daring to meet Bruno’s eyes.
“You can’t keep doing this” Leone spoke more to the floor than to Bruno.
“Why not? Do tell me why I can’t?” Bruno felt so much emotions well up inside him. Disappointment, sadness and not just a small bit of frustration. ‘Why must he do this, every time, if he truly didn’t care why couldn’t he just deny him, why couldn’t he just look him in the eye and say that he didn’t love him if he always had to pull away like this’ Bruno thought, but he couldn’t let it show, he couldn’t.
“You know I’m not, I’m not what you deserve” Leone said, still slurred, still unable to look him in the eyes.
“Tell me than? What do I deserve, do I not deserve to have the person I care for be honest with me for once?” He could feel his voice wavering, he couldn’t let it show, he mustn’t show his weakness, he couldn’t.
“Bruno I have nothing that I can give you, no future, no safety, no nothing” Leone said, he was still not looking, coward.
“I’m not asking you for anything Leone, I just want you to let me help you, you could at least give me that” he was fighting now to keep his tears at bay. Leone said nothing, he simply turned away, not able to look Bruno in the eye even as he was denying him again.
Bruno moved, walking past Leone and out of the living room. He couldn’t bring himself to care more, not after having his heart stomped on again, it was always as painful every time, why couldn’t he just give up, let the feelings go, it was obviously what Leone wanted, he wanted to be ordered around to do some twisted sense of duty, to obey he was content with only that. And when he wasn’t doing that he wanted to drink himself to oblivion. Who was Bruno to deny him that.
Bruno came to a stop inside the unused bathroom of the suit. He closed and locked the door behind him, he was hiding now, and he knew it, he was just as much of a coward in the end as Leone was.
Bruno felt a sob overtake his body as he slowly fell to the floor. He buried his face against his knees as he began to weep by himself. He couldn’t remember the last time his emotions had overcome him like this. It must have been months, but now he felt all of it crashing down for the moment, not just Leone’s rejection but so many other things that had upset him but had been pushed down and out of sight. He had to be a leader to not let his own emotions get the best of him, he had to be immobile, unwavering, strong. They all depended on him.
He found himself wishing not for the first time that this wasn’t the case. That he was simply normal, that he only had problems a normal nineteen year old had to bother with. He wished so badly that he was normal, that they all were, that everyone of them had families that loved them unconditionally, and uncomplicated lives that brought no heartbreak. He wished that Leone wasn’t so depressed that he couldn’t let himself live, that his work was fare and that he could make a difference like he wanted, that Narancia had a home that loved him and let him grow as he should, that Fugo wasn’t as troubled and had people that cared for him and helped him when he truly needed it.
He wished that he wasn’t so fundamentally broken as he was, that his father was still alive. But those were wishes no amount of power or money could solve, it was simply the dark and beaten reality they all existed in. Bruno didn’t know for how long he silently cried curled in on himself with his back against the door. when he finally felt his tears ebb out and he let the tension he had been holding in his body go, he felt stiff, and his throat was dry, it must’ve been for longer than he’d realized.
He stood up slowly, the light above him illuminating the bathroom felt harsh on his eyes. He walked over towards the sink to splash some water on his face, afterwards his gaze fell to his reflection, he truly looked so tired, not just because it was late but because this way of life that he was living was exhausting him. He wondered how long he could keep on going, so many depended on him, not just in his group but in the community as well, they looked up to him, trusted him, they all believed that he could fix any problem.
It must be comforting for them to believe that lie about him, he was good at keeping up that appearance, he had been doing it successfully for years after all. Really only Leone had seen him almost at his breaking point and even then he had always hid away before Leone truly could see the extent of it. It was better that way, how could he convince Leone to rely on him and let him help if he knew. No it was better this way.
He felt foolish for his moment of weakness, he should have persisted, pushed through it. He was usually more resilient than this, more stubborn he would not give up, especially not on Leone. (It was that stubborn part of him that also didn’t give up hope that they could be together one day)
He made his way back to the living room, leone must have switched off the light because the room was bathed in darkness, only the lights from outside the windows giving any illumination to the room. Bruno could see Leone laying on his back sleeping on the couch, he had done as he had asked in the end at least. Bruno sat down on his knees next to the couch, he looked Leone over, his injuries weren’t dangerous at all but still he felt the compulsion to tend to them. Bruno grabbed a hold of the supplies he had taken from the bigger bathroom and got to work on cleaning him up.
Leone kept on sleeping, the alcohol in no doubt numbing him from the pain of having his wounds disinfected. Bruno places band aids over the bigger scraps and cleaned the now dried up blood from under his nose away. He looked much better, less like a wreak of a human being and more like himself. He could do that at least, he might deny his help out of that stubborn pride he had but it was also something Bruno had always admired about him, how even contradictory to his own words and actions he still didn’t fully give up. Bruno let his fingers linger if just for a moment against Leone’s face, he did adored every part of it even bruised and beaten as it was. He sighed again. He would leave Leone with some water and painkillers for the morning, he would also put of calling Fugo and Narancia to wake them up come morning, hopefully the boys would keep on sleeping for long enough for Leone to vacate the hotel before they noticed him having been there.
Bruno stood up and walked over to the kitchen, he grabbed a glass of water but as he entered the living room again something was different. Leone was still laying deeply asleep on the couch, he hadn’t even moved but by the wall next to the small fridge containing the mini bar Bruno could see the outline of Moody Blues. The stand had its back turn against him as he walked in, he was sure it hadn’t been there when he walked out, so why.
Bruno put the glass on the coffee table next to the couch and slowly made his way towards it. Moody Blues was standing completely still its shape only flickering a little bit, like a glitch on a vhs tape. Bruno came up behind it laying his hand against its back, he shouldn’t be able to touch it really but for a moment he could feel it’s strange smooth but still warm surface. It reminded him of a machine, unnaturally unblemished but still alive, thrumming.
The moment his fingers made contact with Moody Blues it began to change as it did when it entered its replay mode. It shifted itself into its user, an exact copy of Leone standing exactly where he had stood moments after he had pulled away from Bruno.
He could see the display reading that it was nearly thirty minutes ago. His small break down must have indeed gone one for longer than he first thought. Just as Bruno was asking himself why Leone’s stand would manifest itself like this when the man himself was out cold he heard the low whirling that indicated that it was entering replay. The stand was moving in reverse taking a step closer to where Bruno had stood earlier. He saw how the copy of Leone was leaning forward instead of back almost in slow motion, his hands coming to rest against where Bruno’s sides would have been.
He watched as if transfixed as the stand moved in reverse, he could see the way leone kissed him, the look on his face the honest sorrow in his eyes. The stand stopped at the moment that would have been right after Bruno had pressed his lips against Leone’s own. The look on the man’s face wasn’t what Bruno would have expected, he looked...for lack of a better word happy, his stand had captured him, if only for a moment, the second he let himself be happy about the kiss that Bruno was giving him.
Bruno almost felt like he was going to cry again, but even so, when no one was even here he couldn’t let it happen, he had his moment of weakness he couldn’t let himself yield and crumble two times in one night.
He knew he couldn’t really touch the copy of Leone as he might want to, to lay his arms around him and hold him close. It wasn’t Leone proper just a reflection of him, just what he tried to hide away in his heart. Instead he let Sticky Fingers manifest and do what he wanted.
As his own stand appeared he barely had to do anything for it to spring close to Moody Blues and embrace the other stand. It began to even press kisses against the copy of Leone’s proud face.
After a moment Moody Blues exited its replay mode and re took its true form. It moved than of its own volition, putting its arms around Sticky Fingers as well. It was honestly a touching sight to Bruno, and it did show something that he often expected but just as many times doubted, that Leone loved him back. Their stands had acted this way before, the first time it had been a quiet moment when no urgency was present and Sticky Fingers had been summoned just as Moody Blues had been, it had just as it usually was when it was summoned, entered its replay mode. It had been very odd to say the least to watch his own stand gleefully embrace the copy of a thug it had been beating the snot out of only moments before. It had been strange indeed, and it did keep on happening. Leone had never wanted to speak on it and he respected that, just then his stand had still been such a new thing to him, so if he didn’t want to think too much about all that its actions represented to him yet than Bruno wouldn’t prod.
But that had been months ago now, and still they kept on acting like this, affectionate and touching. His own stand giving Moody Blues kisses where the mouthless stand could do nothing more but cuddle and nuzzle in return. It was honestly quite cute Bruno thought, it was probably also representing something, something that neither of them might even be comprehending, that they were tied together in some way, so close that even their souls couldn’t keep their hands of another. Even if one party wanted to keep on denying it. Bruno sighed and let his stand and Leone’s be. He sat down on his knees next to the couch and observed him again. he would sit for a moment with him. And then he would leave, go back home to his own empty apartment and wait, he would wait until leone was ready, until then he would be there for him, in whatever way Leone might need.