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Sliding down the far wall of his quarters, Ben tosses his holopad aside, and rests his head against his knees. He’s been trying so hard to be better since the day he’d killed Snoke. That evil monster had taken everything away from him; his love of his place in the Force, his home, his family, his name! Now that he was Emperor (he’d wanted his regime to be nothing like his predecessors and that included the title), he became exceedingly aware that the whole of his council was just as morally corrupt as Hux. Every time he tries to decrease the stormtrooper population from their posts in the outer rim, free slaves, increase land in farming communities to create more jobs, raise wages for those that desperately needed it...every time he tries to progress, his officers would do the opposite. Now he had proof that Hux was the one changing his orders in his holopad and he was a mixture of livid, sad and plain, old exhausted.
This wasn’t what he envisioned when he saw his future. It wasn’t what he saw at all. Suddenly, he was transported back to that moment on Ahch-To when their fingers brushed against one another. She had been standing next to him on a stage, he in his regular uniform, she in a floor length blue gown that hugged her frame, her hair up in a neat bun with curls hanging down to frame her eyes, he places a silver tiara on her head, then she kisses him, proving that she was now his Empress. Cheers erupt, then the scene changes.
He was walking up a stone path towards a house that seemed to be in a world all its own. He didn’t have time to admire the house because as he got closer, the front door opened to reveal two small children running towards him; fraternal twins with his hair and eyes her nose and freckles. They yell “Daddy!” together, giggling as they run at full speed into his legs, almost taking them out from under him. He picks them up, one in each arm, and spins them around as they hold onto his neck, laughing all the while.
He hears his name being called and looks up to see a slightly older Rey holding a baby, belly still rounded from her most recent pregnancy and giving him a lovingly exasperated look. He says nothing, but sets the children down, goes to her and kisses her soundly while the children make disgusted sounds in the background making them laugh as they slowly pull away from one another. Ben places his forehead against Rey’s and a hand on the baby’s head and looks, searches for the smallest of signs. Rey smiles softly and brings him back to the present with a peck of a kiss to his lips. “Ben...he’s okay.” Baby and father stare and smile at each other, then the scene is gone. The whole thing lasts less than two minutes, but it’s enough. He quickly scrubs the tears from his eyes when he hears a gasp.
“What was that? Ben?” The Emperor looks up to find his bondmate wet and shivering, hair plastered to her head, clothes clinging to her body and an odd light casting shadows over her face. “Rey. Are you okay? Why are you all wet?” he asks, standing up and striding over to grab a towel from the fresher. He’s got it draped over her shoulders and rubbing her back to warm her before he realizes exactly what he’s doing. Both of them acknowledge the awkwardness, but neither pulls away.
“I slipped and fell into a lake. I’m trying to dry off before I go back to the base so they don’t worry so much.” Rey explained in a quiet voice, not wanting to break whatever spell had come over Ben.
He stopped rubbing her back and instead started gently wringing out her hair, making an amused noise. “What is it with you and falling into bodies of water?”
Rey scoffed, “Excuse you, I was pulled into that stupid horrible cave, thank you very much. Now don’t change the subject on me, what was that I just saw?!”
Ben shrugged and shook his head innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
This time she rounds on him and takes a shaky breath, obviously fighting back a plethora of emotions and tears. “Do not lie to me. Not about that. Ever. Did I just…. Did I just see our... Ben?” she speaks his name like a plea, a prayer, and it breaks his heart anew.
“Yes. That’s...that’s what I saw the last time you fell into a lake and sat drying in front of a fire. I don’t know why it changes from one extreme to the next like that. The two of us here then there as if we had left our sides to sort themselves out and kriffed off to our own little piece of heaven… I don’t understand it. I didn’t then and I certainly don’t now.”
He moves in front of Rey to see a look of complete anguish marring her features. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she chokes out as best she can, fighting back tears.
Ben reaches up and swipes his thumbs over her cheeks, holding her face gently. “I didn’t know how to say it. I couldn’t even tell you now if I tried. I want you as my Empress, at my side and my equal in all things including ruling this galaxy, but I want that life too.”
Rey takes a deep breath and stares up into Ben’s eyes as if she’s searching his very soul. “Which one do you want more?” she asks like she already knows the answer.
Ben is silent for a time then smiles. “I still have some work to do here. If you’ll hold on just a little while longer, I’ll see to it that our children only hear of this war in their history texts.”
The grin Rey gives him is brighter than any star he’s ever seen. “Then get to it, Emperor. I want my family.” She punctuates that with a kiss that’s got Ben’s toes curling and heart doing backflips. When the bond fizzles out moments later, Ben picks up his holopad, makes sure his saber is clipped to his belt, and calls for an emergency staff meeting. He’s got a family in his future. Who is he to keep them waiting?