Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Please… Please pick up…”
“… Hello, who’s this?”
“Thank God you picked up, Dela. It’s Bianca.”
“Bianca, hi!” Her friend said in the other line. “Merry Christmas!”
“It’s not that Merry anymore, do you still have that spare room you were renting?”
“I do, why do you ask, Bea?”
“It’s a long story.”
“We have time.”
“But it’s Christmas, you and your dad must be celebrating, aren’t you?”
“After a few drinks my dad fell asleep and Gus already went home, we have all the time of the world, tell me what happened.”
“Ok, I'll tell you.”

December 26th, 1993

Bianca took her blankets and her pillow into a plastic bag and placed it next to her door, she looked at the framed pictures on her walls and started to put them on her bed, she heard her door open and saw her brother enter with more boxes.

“Thank you, Tony.” Bianca took the boxes from her brother and started putting her clothes on them, she folded every single piece of clothing and was placing them in the box by color.
“Bianca, are you ok?”
“I’m good, Tony.” She told her brother. “I’m amazing, I’m perfect, I’m fucking great.” Bianca threw her red dress on the box and opened another one. “I just have to do this quick before mom comes back, she wants me out before dinner.”

Her brother didn’t say a word, instead he took a box and put her fabric and all the sewing items she had, he also put her sewing machine on it.

“Thanks, man.”
“Don’t thank me.”
“Where are the kids?”
“At grandma’s, mom doesn’t want them to see you leaving.”
“Nice from her.”

While her brother took the first boxes to his truck Bianca continued putting her belongings in boxes, she was not going to admit this to anyone but she was on the verge of tears. Every item that went into a box felt like a stab to her heart.

She was really going to miss this house, she had lived there for 18 years, she had lived happy and sad moments, fun moments, angry moments but she wouldn’t change it for anything. This is her home.

No.

This used to be her home.

She opened one last box and started putting the things from her bookcase in it.

This was the hardest part, every single thing of this bookcase had a memory with it.

“This teddy bear…”

“Papa, look!” She was younger, she remembered. “Do you think you can win it for me? Pleaseee?”
“I think I can.” Her dad put a coin in the prizes machine and started moving the claw. “Tony, Bea, look at this. If you swing the claw to right and left a lot of times it’s easier to get the teddy bear Bea wants.”
“It will fall.” Her sister had said.
“That’s the point, Lucy.” When he caught the bear and the claw wobbled to the left it made the bear fall in the right place. “Told you!”
“You got it!” David screamed.
“Here you have, Bea.” Bianca took the teddy bear from her dad’s hands and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Thank you, papa.”
“You’re welcome, mi niña.” He kissed her forehead and went back to the machine. “Now let’s get one for all of you. Which one do you want, Tony?”

They left that fair with multiple stuffed animals and big smiles that day.

But those times were over.

She was almost done when she heard her door open and saw her parents standing in there.

“I-“ The box and a framed picture she had on her hands fell, the frame shattered and the floor was full of broken glass. She immediately kneeled and took the broken pieces. “Sorry! I’ll clean it ip before I leave.”

Her mom shook her head and left without saying a word.

“Let me give you a hand.” Her dad said, he put all the things that had fell from her box back on it.
“Sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, Bea.” He smiled at the teddy bear and put it on the box.
“It’s just… What if mom is right? I feel like I don-shit.”
“What?”
“I’m fine, I just cut my hand with the glass.”
“Leave that on the floor, I’ll clean it.” He got up and took her to the bathroom, Bianca sat on the toilet while her dad took out the first aid kit from her drawer. “Give me your hand.”
“I said I’m fine.”
“And I said give me your hand, Bianca.”

She did was she was told to do, her dad cleaned the cut and bandaged her hand.

“Here you go.”
“Thank you.” She saw her dad take all the things from the bathroom drawer and put them in a bag and then the box. “What are you doing?”
“You will need those.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” He took the photo from the frame that had been broken and sadly smiled to it. “I remember this day.”
“You do?” She sat next to him in the floor.
“Yes.” He ran his thumb across the picture. “You played Mrs…”
“Mrs. Pots.”
“Mrs. Pots.” He smiled. “You were so sad because you thought we were not going and then we showed up right before it started it.”
“It was a nice surprise.” She rested her head on her dad’s shoulder.
“Yes…” He gave her the photo, Bianca folded it and put it on her wallet.

They remained sat on the floor holding each other for a while, her dad never let go of her hand.

After a few more minutes he took out his wallet and handed her a card.

“I already transferred you all the money I had saved for college.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Don’t talk bullshit, that money was meant for you to use it.” He kissed her temple. “Where are you going to stay?”
“There is a girl from my class that told me her dad is renting a room in their house, I’m going to live with them.”
“I don’t think you’ll like that.”
“That’s the only thing I’m going to be able to afford, dad.”
“I know, I know. Sorry.”

Her dad got up and took the bookcase on his hands.
“Come on, take the box, we have to take your things to the truck.”

She followed her dad and put all the things in the back of the truck, while he went back inside to get her mattress she started to get lost on her thoughts.

“Bianca.”

She turned around and saw her mom standing in front of her, she looked tired and angry from last night, her eyes were emotionless.

“Mom.”

Her mom pointed at her wrist where she was wearing her ojo de venado.

“Give it to me.”

Bianca pressed her lips on a thin line but nodded, she undid the red ribbon and gave it back to her mother, she took it and walked back to the house.

Bianca couldn’t believe this was happening yet, she felt a knot on her throat and held back the tears, she was not going to give her mom the satisfaction of her crying.

Bianca sat on the truck and saw her dad placing her mattress on the front door as he saw his wife entering the house with her ojo de venado on her hand, he walked back in and closed the door.

She was grateful her dad was helping her to move but she couldn’t understand why he wasn’t doing anything for her to stay. She was only 18, you’re not supposed to leave your parents’ house when you’re this young, this was not right.

“Hey, are you ok?” Her brother’s voice took her off guard.
“Yes, I’m good.” She wiped her nose and helped him to get the mattress in the truck. “Where’s dad?”
“Inside fighting with mom, he told me to take you to your new house. Do you have the address?”
“I do.” She got down and entered the truck. “Why are you taking me? Wasn’t dad supposed to-“
“I already told you that he is fighting with mom, don’t ask more questions and tell me how to get there.” He turned on the engine.
“But dad…”
“Bianca, just tell me how to get there, please.”

Bianca gave him the paper where she had written Dela’s direction, her brother started driving and, as they drove away, Bianca gave one last glance to the placed that used be her home.

She wanted the tears to come but they didn’t.

And Bianca didn’t understand why.

----

“Is it here?”
“I think it is.”
“Haven’t you been here before?” Her brother asked her.
“Not really.” She said. “If we had homework or something we’d go to Raja’s.”

They parked outside of a white house; the garden was full of flowers and had a lot of ornaments, there was a guy sitting on the stairs, when he saw the park he got up and it seemed he was calling someone from inside, the house’s door opened and a chubby, black-haired girl waved to her.

“Hi, Bianca!”
“Hi, Dela.”

Dela ran to her and squeezed her in a tight and loving hug.

“I’m so sorry for what happened with your family.” She put the loosen hairs from Bianca’s ponytail behind her ear. “No parent has the right to do what they did.”
“I know.” Bianca’s voice was emotionless, she couldn’t really tell why and she didn’t want it come the way it did but Dela didn’t seem to care.
“Oh, Bea.” She enveloped her in another hug. “Everything is going to be ok.”
“Thank you.” She looked at her brother who seemed to be uncomfortable. “He is my brother, Tony.”
“Hi!” Without stopping holding Bianca’s hand Dela greeted him. “Delilah, Dela for shorter and Lila for my dad.”
“Nice to meet you, Dela.”
“Nice to meet you too, Tony.” Dela waved to the door and two guys joined them. “This is my dad, Ben and this is Gus, my boyfriend.”
“Hi.”
“Hello.” Dela’s dad looked at Bianca. “Lila just told me you’re moving with us today, right?”
“That’s right, sir.”
“Before we take you in and your stuff from the truck would you mind have a word with me?”
“I…” Dela smiled and nodded to her. ‘It’s gonna be ok.’ “Sure.”

Bianca followed Dela’s dad inside of the house, he told her to sit in the sofa and got her a cup of coffee.

“Thank you, sir.”
“Don’t thank me.” He took a sip from his cup and placed on the side table. “So, before you fully move with us I need to ask you some things, are you ok with that?”
“I am.”
“Ok.” He leaned on his armchair and looked straight to her. “First question and I have to ask it anyways, even though Lila already explained it to me I want to hear it from you.”
“I’m listening.”
“Why moving the very next day after Christmas?”
“Well… I revealed a secret to my family, something they don’t approve and my mom went crazy.” She said. “She lost her mind and told me she wanted me out by tomorrow, today and here I am.”
“What was this thing that you revealed to her?”
“…”
“Bianca, here we won’t judge, my wife wouldn’t forgive me for that.” He looked at the picture of a woman that was hanging on the wall. She looked exactly like Dela except for the hair, the woman had brown hair and Dela’s was black. “She always taught us to be loving and accepting and now that she is gone is not like it’s going to change.”

Bianca looked at the floor and took a long breath.
“I like girls, sir.”
“That’s all? Ok, next question.”
Bianca looked at her surprised, he didn’t even give her a disgust look or sound.
“What?”
“Sorry, it’s just that… I’m not used to people not minding this.”
“Being gay is not a bad thing, Bianca.” He said.
“But the Bible and the pastor say that it is.”
“I don’t want to offend you or your beliefs but the church don’t know what they are talking about. They’re just scared of what they don’t understand, don’t blame yourself for their ignorance.”

Bianca was shocked, she had never heard someone talk like this about her faith.
“I…”
“Let’s move to the next question and this is the most important question.” He rested his elbows on his knees and looked straight at her. “Do you like dogs?”
“What?”
“Do you like dogs?” He repeated.
“I do but my mom never let us have one.”
“That changes today.” He got up and after a few seconds he returned with a big dog that immediately jumped to her and licked her face. “Meet Marshmallow, Marsh for shorter.”
“He is cute.” Bianca laughed and petted its head. “Hello, baby!” Marsh rested his head on her lap and Bianca felt his kisses on her hand. “What a good boy!”
“Perfect, that’s all I wanted to know.” He walked to the door. “We’ll get your stuff to your new room.”
“Ok.”
“Delilah!”
“Yes, dad?” She immediately peeked her head through the door.
“Please show Bianca her room, me, Gus and…”
“Antwan but call him Tony.” Bianca told him.
“Antwan will bring her belongings.”
“Sure, dad!” She joined them and took Bianca’s hand. “You’ll love it.”

They climbed the stairs with Marsh behind them, Dela took a key from her pocket and opened a white door.

The room was big, it was bigger than her room at her parents’ house, it had a big closet with a mirror attached on the inside and a big window in the left wall from where she could see a church and a park.

“Marsh likes to go to that park, you can take him whenever you want.” Dela said.
“Really?”
“Yes, he loves it.”

When Tony placed the first boxes on the floor Dela immediately started helping Bianca to put everything in order, Bianca passed her the last item from the first box and went for the second.

“Wait.” Dela said and looked for something in one of the bottom drawers of the closet.
“What?”
“Sit on that chair.”

She sat as Dela told her to, Marsh rested his head on her lap again.

“What do you think of your new room?” Dela asked her.
“It’s cute.”
“It’ll look cuter once you make it your own.”
“What do you mean?”
“You can decorate it like you want.” She said. “You can hang pictures or your designs if you want, posters too or whatever you want, my dad won’t mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.” Dela approached to her with a tissue and lotion. “You don’t know it but you have trails of make-up under your eyes and cheeks.”
“Fuck… I must look horrible.”
“I don’t want to say horrible, let’s just say that you don’t look particularly good.” She wiped the rest of Bianca’s make-up.
“I don’t feel good either, it matches.”

Dela sighed and throw the tissue to the trash can.

“You’ll feel better, you’ll see.”
“I want to believe that.”
“You will.” Dela wrapped her arms around her and Marsh rested his head on her lap. “My mom always said that after the storm the rainbow always comes.”
“My mom said that the gays profaned the rainbow.” She felt her eyes watering, Dela tight her embrace. “Why did I have to tell her, Dela? I made her angry, I embarrassed my whole family.”
“Nothing of this is your fault, you know?”
“It feels like it is.”
“But is not.” She smiled to her. “If she believes that… Sorry but she is been stupid.”
“She told me no one will ever love me.”
“She is wrong, she doesn’t even know how wrong she is.” Dela gave her a tissue. “All people have the love of her life somewhere and you won’t be the exception.”
“I want to believe you.”
“You will.”

----

“This is the last box.” Gus said. “You girls need anything else?”
“No, baby.” Dela told him. “I’ll help her to unbox the rest of her things and I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”
“Ok.” He gave her a peck. “See you, my love.”
“See you.”
“And see you, Bianca, it was nice to meet you.”
“Same.” She looked at her brother who helped her to put her bookcase in place. “Thanks, man.”
“…”
“…”

Dela seemed to understand that Tony wanted to talk alone with Bianca, she got up and walked to the door.

“I think I’ll make dinner, hope you like casseroles because I’m cooking a chicken casserole with a lot of carrots and cabbages.”
“Thank you, Dela.”

She left the two of them accompanied by Marsh.

“So this is goodbye, Bea.”
“It doesn’t have to be a goodbye.”
“No, it has to.”
“Tony…”
“It’s difficult for me…”
“Really?” Bianca didn’t meant to yell to her brother but she had had enough. “You act like this is too hard for you and that’s fucking stupid!

You are not the one who is being forced to leave!”

“Bea…”
“You are not the one who had to listened to mom all night try to pray the gay away from you!”
“Bea, please…”
“You are not the one who has to leave!”
“Bianca, stop being this fucking selfish! Not everything has to be about yourself!”
“Excuse me?”
“You act like you are the victim in this, you are the one who chose this path! You just wanted their attention!”
“Don’t talk about something you don't understand, Antwan! Being gay is not something you choose, you are born this way and what the fuck do you mean?”
“Everything has always to be about yourself, you don’t even know a shit about what is going on with the rest of us!” He yelled. “I just got a scholarship and a year in Cambridge but guess what, my sister being a fucking dyke is more important than having a Cambridge scholarship!”
“I didn’t mean to do it, Tony.”
“Bullshit.”
“But that doesn’t give you the right to call me that.”
“I’m going to call you the way I want!” He said. “But you know, you could have changed this if you wanted, if you started dating guys this would have changed. Maybe if you had some man in your bed you wouldn’t have turn out this way.”

This was it, this was why she hadn’t had told them before.

“You…” She punched him against the wall. “I told you to not talk about something you don’t understand, you don’t know a shit about this, you fucking piece of trash!”
“Don’t punch me, stupid dyke!”

Tony grabbed her arms and pushed her away, Bianca fell hard on the floor and hit her head on the corner of the bed. Marsh immediately jumped to Tony and made him fall as well, he was barking to him and wasn’t letting him go.

The door opened and both Dela and her dad were in the room.

“Marsh, stop!” Dela’s dad took the dog away from her brother and Dela helped her to get up.
“Bea, you’re bleeding.” Bianca touched where her head had hit the bed and found a blood stain on her fingers.
“Jesus…”
“Antwan.” He was talking to her brother. “Under no circumstances a man is allowed to hit a woman, no one is ever allowed to even put a finger on a woman.”
“She is my sister and she is an ungrateful brat!”
“Leave my house, Antwan.” He said. “Leave, now.”
“I leave when I want to leave, not when you tell me to.”
“Leave or I will call the police.” Dela said with the most emotionless voice Bianca had ever heard her talk. “I will send you to jail if you don’t leave our home now.”

Tony looked at her startrucked, he looked away and took his keys.

“I hope I won’t see you ever again.” He told Bianca.
“Finally we agree on something.” She said looking into his eyes.

He left the room followed by Dela’s dad and Bianca felt her heart break into a million pieces.

She was so tired of feeling this way, she wanted to feel numb, that's all she wanted.
“No one will hurt you again, Bea.” Dela said. “I promise.”
“You’re right.” She said with a cold voice. “No one will ever, I‘m not letting anyone in again.”

Chapter Text

"Bianca?" Dela opened the door and saw Bianca tangled on her blankets laying on the bed, the boxes they let on the floor remained taped, it seemed that after the incident with Tony she had just laid down all night and did nothing. "Breakfast is ready."
"I'm not hungry." Bianca's voice was more of a whisper than her normal loud voice.
"Bianca, you didn't eat anything last night, you need to eat something."
"Dela, I'm not hungry I just…" Bianca covered her head with the blanket. "I need to be alone."

Dela sighed but did what Bianca asked her, before she left the room she placed a cup of coffee and a cookie on her nightstand.
Bianca heard the door close, she turned around and reached for the cup, she sat down and took a sip.

"She didn't use sugar." She took another sip. "So good." She took the cookie and took a big bite. "This is good."
"You're welcome!"

Bianca shook her head, she was not going to say thanks you to Dela.

But she was thankful for her friend.

Chapter Text

Bianca turned around, she looked at the ceiling and took a long breath, her stomach was grateful she had had something to eat, she felt better.
It was time to get up from the bed, it had been enough time on just laying there.

She got up and saw her taped boxes, she picked one to open it up and the first thing she saw was a picture of her holding Claudia as a newborn baby and her mom in the background smiling while holding her as she held her sister.

The feeling came back to her, the urge to throw up and the emptiness on her chest.

"Mom… You're a fucking liar!" She ripped the photo into pieces and threw it through the window. "You aren't ready to love me no matter what!" Bianca saw the pieces fly away and sat on the floor against the wall. "Liar, liar… Liar."

She felt like shit.

----

"Bianca? Bianca open up." Dela tried to open the door of her friend's room but it was locked, she had the key but she didn't want to push her to do anything or to force her to see her. "Come on, Bea, I brought you coffee." She didn't get any response from her, she heard a door open behind her, her dad came out of the bathroom.
"Still locked inside?"
"Yes." She whispered and placed the mug on the floor in front of the door, she followed her dad downstairs. "I don't know what to do, she's not coming out of her room, not even to eat."
"She's mourning, Lila."
"What do you mean?"
"Think about it, her family kicked her out, the last time she saw her brother he attacked her, she has younger siblings that don't know the truth of what happened to their big sister, she can't explain them." He took her hands. "She is going to need time but she will also need her friends with her, not right now just give her time."
"But she doesn't even want to see me or talk to me."
"Don't stop trying, she will thank you."

Dela smiled and squeezed her father's hands.

"Thanks, dad."

He smiled and kissed her temple.

"Do something different, maybe some other friend should try to talk to her."
"That's a good idea, I think I know who will get her out of the bed."

----

Bianca still felt like horrible, she had drank the coffee Dela had left for her and she was still hungry but ignored the feeling of her stomach, she felt like if she ate anything she would throw up.

She sat on the bed and looked again at her boxes, they were surrounded by the torn photos she had brought with her and yet she didn't feel any better.

She thought that by ripping apart the memories that hurt her she would feel better but she didn't feel something change, she was feeling numb.

"Hey." She heard a knock on the door. "Bitch, it's Raja. Open up, let's have a kiki, I bought Segura Viuda."

Bianca looked at the door but didn't move, she was sure Dela had called her.
"Bitch, come on." She knocked on the door again. "I already know what happened, I just wanna know you're ok."

Bianca froze on her feet, she didn't want people to know, it was her problem, why Raja knew? No one should know, no one could know.

"I'm ok, don't worry about it."
"Bianca, you're not ok, you need to let everything out, come on." She knocked again. "It's almost New Year's Eve, let's prepare something."

Bianca walked to the door, she saw the door's knob.

And walked back to her bed.

"You don't need to worry, I'm ok I just need to sleep it away… You can go back to your mother, I'm sure she's zealous to spend New Year's Eve with her beloved daughter."
"... Bea, don't do that."
"And stop calling me Bea, I'm Bianca."

She got under her blanket and hid her face under her pillow.
Bianca heard her friend knocking on the door for a few more minutes but at the end the knocking stopped, she heard Raja going downstairs and felt the tears forming on her eyes.
She fought them away and hugged her pillow.
It didn't feel right.

----

Bianca woke up and looked at the calendar she had hung on the wall.

December 31st 1993
New Year's Eve

She looked at the ceiling and took a long breath.

It was like a week since she was kicked out and her stuff was still in the boxes, she hadn't put anything in its place since Dela had helped her, the room even smelled weird, she looked at a big red box where she remembered putting her sewing machine and fabrics, maybe she could sew something and that would make her feel less like shit.

Bianca got up and kneeled to grab the box but it was not heavy.

"What the…" She opened it and found nothing. "No… It… It was here!"

She looked through all her boxes, she took everything out, her clothes, her books, her sketchbooks and found nothing, her sewing machine was gone.

" No, no, I'm sure I brought it with me!"
"Bianca, are you up?" She heard Dela's dad calling her from downstairs. "I know you've been busy but I need a favor and Lila went out with Augustus."

Bianca sighed.

"I'm coming, just… Give me a second."

She put her hair in a bun, she put on her sandals and a sweater and went downstairs, she found Dela's dad on the kitchen cooking something she was not sure what it was.

"Oh, there you are." He turned down the flame. "How are you feeling today?"
"Not good, not bad."
"You seem stressed." He looked directly at her. "What's the matter? Besides everything."
"It's just…" She sat on a chair and Marsh went to her running, he rested his head on her lap. "I think my brother stole my sewing machine, I brought it with me and I cannot find it anywhere."
"Do you really think he did?"
"He's the only person that I could think of." Marsh climbed to her lap and placed his paws on her shoulders.
"I'll see if it's around on one of the boxes he left on the living room, don't worry about that."
"Thank you." She kissed Marsh's head. "What did you need me for?"
"I need you to go to the market down the park to buy this for our dinner tonight, I was going to send Lila but she left with her boyfriend and hasn't come back yet." He handed her a small list in a piece of paper."
"Sure."
"You can take Marsh with you if you want, I haven't walked him today." The dog barked and ran for his leash that was on the couch, Bianca put it on the dog's collar. "Take the money that's next to the door and the keys, the market is a block down the park."
"Ok."
"Take the keys as well, keep the change and buy yourself whatever you want."

She went out of the house and was blinded by the sun, she hadn't been out since the day she arrived and even when her eyes hurt it feel good being outside, it was cold and foggy, she loved it and Marsh seemed to enjoy it as well, stopping everywhere to smell every single thing and running around, thank God the leash was long.

They walked through the park to cut the way and at the end of the park she saw the market, it was in parking lot and people was doing their shopping with their dogs.

"Oh, that's why Ben told me to bring you."

She took a basket from the entry and walked around the stands picking all the things that were on Ben's list.

Carrots.
Apples.
Almonds.
Blueberries.
Corriander.
Corriander?

"Who the fuck calls cilantro, corriander?" Marsh barked and she laughed. "No one, exactly."

She paid the lady and looked again at the list, she was only missing eggs, she looked at her right and saw a lady that had a lot of chickens and eggs around her table, Bianca walked to her.

"Hey, baby Marsh, hi!" Marsh wagged his tail and walked towards the lady. "You're such a handsome boy! And you must be Bianca, right?"
"Yes but… How do you know my name?"
"Sometimes Ben and I go out to walk out dogs, he told me about you." The lady looked at her list. "Need 10 eggs, right?"
"Indeed." The woman smiled at her and started putting the eggs on a plastic bag. "What did he tell you?"
"He only told me that you were looking for freedom, you have some strict parents and wanted to be in liberty of doing what you wanted so you left your house and came to live with them." She handed her the bag and took the bill from her. "Is that what happened?"
"I… Yes, sweet freedom."

The lady smiled and handed Bianca her change.

"Well, I hope you find what you're looking for." She handed her a cutie and a sausage to Marsh. "Walk home safely!"

Bianca thanked her and walked to the street with Marsh wagging his tail next to her.

"She was really nice don't you think?"
"Oh my God, isn't that Bianca?"

Bianca froze on her feet, she kneeled and hid next to a wall.
"I don't think it was her, she looked different and besides I don't think she would go out looking like that."
"Yeah, I haven't seen her in days, what happened to her?"
"I heard her parents had to kick her out."
"Oh my Goodness, why?"
"Well… come."

She didn't stay longer, she ran towards the park and rested her back against a tree, her breathing was fast and she felt her hands sweating.

"Keep it together, Bianca, come on." Her fingers were cold and started to feel dizzy. "Come on, come on!"

Marsh seemed to notice she was not feeling well, he climbed to her lap and rested his paws on her shoulders, he licked her face several times until Bianca's breathing stabilized. She wrapped her arms around the dog and let a long breath out.

"Thank you, baby bear."

She wiped her eyes and took the bag with everything she had bought.

"Let's go."

As she walked back to Dela's house she saw a lady with two little kids, they were talking about their plans to receive the New Year and Bianca started wondering what her family was doing, it was around 11AM so her dad and Tony must be on the backyard cleaning the corn her mom would need later for dinner, the kids must be around putting candles around the house and her mom… Her mom would be making torrejas without her.

She felt the urge to cry again but fought it back, she was sure her family was not crying over her, her mom wouldn't allow it, she would handle them as she had always done before. Her mom was not driven by emotion and didn't let her kids do it.
Bianca walked faster to the house, when she opened the door she found no one there.

"I'm back!" No response. "I got everything you asked on the list." Silent.

Bianca put the bag on the kitchen counter and opened the backyard's door for Marsh and walked upstairs where she saw the door of her room closed.

"What? I…" She tried to open it. "I didn't close it before I left." She tried to open the door again but got the same result, the door was locked. "Oh, come on!"
"Bianca!" The door slammed open and Dela come out of the room jumping.
"AHH! What the fuck is wrong with you, Delilah!?" Bianca held herself from the bars of the stairs. "What were you doing in there? Why is no one downstairs?"
"We're all in here."
"What?"
"You see, I know you hate surprises but…" She closed the door behind her. "I don't care, we got something for you."
"We?"
"Yes and you're gonna love it, bitch." The door opened and Bianca saw Raja standing in there smirking.
"This is Raja and this is my fashion reboot of this mess!"
"What?"
"You only know how to ask questions with W and H or what?" Raja hugged her and kissed her cheek leaving a bright red mark on it, Bianca let herself enjoy the hug of her friend and rested her head on her shoulder.
"Sorry for not opening the door and not calling you back, I was feeling like shit."
"You don't have anything to apologize for or explain yourself, I already know and besides I don't think talking about it it's the best for you."
"Thanks, bitch." Raja kissed her cheek again and Bianca pushed her away. "Get away, gross!"
"Hey, we did something for you." Raja took a scarf and covered her eyes, Dela held her hand and got her inside the room.
"Is this really necessary?"
"We told you it's a surprise!"
"And I told you I don't like surprises."
"You say it like I give a shit, sit your ass down in your bed and shut up."

They helped her to sit down, she felt that the bed was made and the room didn't smell like old coffee anymore, it smelled like…

"Is that Fabuloso morado?"

Her friends burst into laughter with two other people Bianca was more sure who were.

"Yes it is!" Dela said, Bianca felt her taking her hands. "Before you take the scarf off I want you to know that this is our gift to you."
"We know you've been through some hard shit." Raja said, she sat next to her and held her. "This is for you to feel better and to begin your new life without feeling horrible, you can take the scarf off."
Bianca did it and opened her mouth in disbelief, the room was clean, her friends had put everything in order, there was no clothes, trash or boxes on the floor, the close was organized and the walls were decorated with her designs and drawings. The bed had a new blanket and her teddy bear was there next to her pillows.

"We thought that if we helped you out with your room it would be the first step to start this new life."

She heard Gus say who had been standing next to the close for a while next to a short Indian lady that Bianca knew well, Danika, Raja's mom.

"Bianca." Mrs. Gemini walked to her and held her hands on her own. "I want you to know that you're loved and you're gonna be ok."
"Thank you."

Danika pressed their foreheads together and kissed her cheek.

"We got something for you." She said and walked out of the room with Gus, they came back with a sewing machine and a box full of fabrics, Bianca got up impressed and walked to them, she looked at the fabrics and the sewing machine, it was brand new. "This is for you, new beginnings deserve new things, don't you think?"

Bianca looked at the door where Dela's dad was, he shook his head, she knew what it meant.

He didn't find her sewing machine.

"Thank you, for everything."

Danika hugged her again.

"One more thing." Raja passed her mom a small green box, Danika handed her to Bianca, she opened and found a simple black shirt with her name on the right. "You're gonna need a job and Raja here thought that you would be a very good addition to our team in Karma Studios, what do you think?"

Bianca smiled, she put on the shirt and looked at them.

"I'm in."

Both women cheered and hugged her, she saw Dela hugging Gus and her dad.

"Well." Dela's dad said. "I'm making some very good food for us to welcome 1994, are you up for a party or what?"

Bianca laughed and for the first time in days she felt good, she felt that she could find another family, a family that didn't dismiss her for being who she was. She smiled and looked at him.

"Sure, why not?"

Chapter Text

"If you sew this by the back you can cover it when you turn around the skirt, like this."

Bianca cut the string of thread and flipped the skirt, both Raja and Danika were impressed, Raja's mom looked very pleased, she got up and took a closer looked on the skirt.

"You can barely see the stitches." She took the skirt on her hands. "This is impressive!"
"Thank you so much!"
P>Bianca grabbed the next pieces of fabric and started to sew them to make the next skirt, she had to get ten of them done for Saturday's morning, she was happy to see that Raja's mom was happy with her work and she wanted it to remain like this. She continued with the sewing machine of the studio while Raja helped her with the upper parts of the uniforms and her mom attended the counter.

After five more skirts she heard the studio's door open.

"Hi! I brought you lunch!"

It was Dela. Bianca smiled and stopped the machine, she and Raja got up and went out to the counter, Dela was there talking with Danika and smiled when she saw them.

"Hi there you two! Are you hungry? I brought you some sandwiches and fruit."
"Thank you." Bianca took a sandwich and gave it a bite, they went to the back of the studio and sat on the floor to eat.
"So? Ready to go back to school?" Danika asked them. "Is your last semester, do you have something planned after high school?"
"I want to keep the studio." Raja said. "I think I can run it as it is, I like it."

Danika nodded.

"What about you, Dela?"
"I don't know, I kinda want to study something related to medicine, maybe a doctor or a nurse."
"Oh, that sounds lovely! I'm sure you are going to be the best." Danika looked at Bianca. "What about you, Bianca? Got something?"

Bianca looked at the sandwich on her hand, then to the sewing machine and shook her head.

"I used to have an idea of what I was going to do but now I'm not sure."
"Do you want to tell us?"
"... Not really."
"That's okay." Danika placed her hand on her leg and squeezed it. "You don't need to tell." They heard the door of the studio open.
"Don't, I got it mom." Raja let her sandwich on the chair and went to the counter while the girls finished eating, Dela and Raja's mom were talking about something that Bianca was not really interested in, she finished her sandwich and went back to the machine, she continued her work with the skirts but couldn't put all of her attention on them, Danika's question remained on her head.
"Do you have something planned after high school?"

She didn't, not anymore, her mom was going to send her to a Catholic university to study the Bible and become a pastor but now after everything she didn't have a clear path, she was not sure of what she was going to do.

It sucked.

She stayed until late to finish the uniforms, Danika have her the keys to close when she was done, she walked by herself all the way to Dela's house still asking herself what was she going to do now.

She didn't know.

----

"Who's a good boy? Who's the goodest boy? You, Marsh! You are!"
"Bianca, come on. We're going to be late!"
"I'm coming!"

Bianca kissed the top of Marsh's head and got on Raja's car, today she was driving them to school for their last first day.

"What was taking you so long? Jesuschrist." Raja asked her as she turned on her mom's car and drove away the avenue.
"A gorgeous and good boy that wanted to say bye before I left."
"You know she does that every day before she leaves to work?" Dela whispered to Raja who burst into laughter.
"Really? The Bianca del Rio melts for a dog?"
"Dogs are pure souls full of light and they're the only people that deserve my whole heart and love."
"What about me?" Raja asked her and made her best impression of puppy eyes but she only got a smirk from her.
"You're not worthy."
"And me?" Dela asked her and pinched her own cheek.
"... Meh, fifty fifty."

They laughed and kept driving through the town, Dela opened the glove compartment and grabbed a casette that was laying in there, after a few seconds of struggling Dela turned on the radio and the sound of Nirvana filled the car.

She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak
I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks
I've been drawn into your magnetar pit trap trap
I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black

They sang along the lyrics, Raja tapped the rhythm with her fingers on the wheel while Bianca and Dela sang along the lyrics, she enjoyed those little moments with her friends, she hadn't had so many of them before and was determined to treasure as many as she could. After a few more songs they arrived to the school, Raja turned off the radio and helped her to get out from the back seat.

"Come on, loser. We got shit to do."

Gus was waiting for them on the door, he took Dela's hand while Raja wrapped her arms around Bianca's shoulder, they entered the school and Bianca immediately felt the change, she felt how everyone's eyes were on her since the moment they entered the building.

"Raja…"
"What?"
"Is it me or everyone is staring at us?"

Raja looked around briefly.
"You crazy, come on." She walked faster. "We gotta go to Mrs. Davenport class, I don't think you want to get in troubles with her on our last semester."
"Sure, just let me go to my locker for my book."
"I'll go with you."

Both girls walked to her locker, as she opened it and grabbed her stuff she could hear whispers behind her, she looked where the whispering was coming and saw two freshman girls looking at her.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer." She said and closed her locker with a slam. "Stop bitching around and go to your fucking classes, now."

Both girls ran away and Bianca gave a long breath.

It was going to be a long and exhausting semester and she was not wrong, the stares continued, people would be talking about her on her back and they started to spread rumors about her.

“I heard she tried to seduce a girl from her congregation.”
“And I heard that she was dating an older woman that turned her into that."

She would ignore all of this but it was hard, she had her friends with her but sometimes it felt like it was not enough.

Bianca was walking with Raja to her class when she realized she was missing something.

“Wait, I need to get my book.”
"Again?"
"I forgot it, sorry!"

They walked to Bianca’s locker where a lot of people were crowded.

“What are you doing?” Bianca asked them, all of them looked down at her, some of them were whispering. “What? Do I have something on my face? Get out of my way.”

When she finally reached her locker she understood why, someone had spray painted on it.

DIE
NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE
DYKE
DISGUSTING BITCH

“Get out of my… Shit.” She heard Raja who was now standing next to her.
“Why are so many people here?” She heard Dela’s voice. “Gus, do you see Bian… Oh my God.”

She couldn’t focus, everything around her was blurry and she felt like she was going to throw up.

“Bianca…”
“I don’t feel good…”
“Jesus… Hey, there’s nothing to see here!” Gus said and Dela tried to wipe the paint with her sweater’s sleeve. “Go to your classes, there’s nothing here that is your business, go away!”
“So I guess that’s why her parents had to kick her out.”
“How do you know that?”
“My mom goes to the same church, poor woman, having a dyke as your daughter is such an embarrassment, this is what she gets for choosing to be a lesbian.”

Bianca couldn’t take it anymore.

“That’s enough, Rebecca!” She shouted to the blond girl. “This is none of your fucking business, you don’t get to talk about something you don’t understand!”
“I do understand, you brought the embarrassment to your family, you deserve this and more.” Rebecca screamed back to her, all of her friends laughed and pointed at Bianca.
“Say that again, say that again you fucking bitch.”
“You wanna fight, shorty?”

Gus took Bianca’s arms and stopped her from hitting her while Raja stood in front of Rebecca.

“It’s not worth it, Bianca.” He whispered to her.
“She is an idiot, she doesn’t know what she is talking about!”
“I know she is but fighting is not going to fix anything.”
“Let me go!”
“What is happening here?”

When they heard Principal’s Rice voice approaching all of the teenagers ran, Rebecca and her minions included, leaving them alone in front of Bianca’s locker.

“I asked you a question.”
“Are you blind or what? Look at my locker!” Bianca said and pointed to it. “Look at what your stupid cheerleaders did!”

Principal Rice touched the paint.

“And it’s still fresh, someone must have done this just few minutes ago.”
“Wow, big discovery, Sherlock.”

He looked back at her.

“I am not going to accept this kind of behavior from you, Miss del Rio.”
“What?”
“Go to my office, now.”
“But she didn’t do anything!” Raja said. “Someone spray painted her locker and called her that, this isn’t her fault!”
“You three go to your classes if you don’t want to have detention all week.” He said.
“Go, I’ll be fine.” Bianca told them.
“Bianca…”
“I’ll be fine, Dela, just go.”

She turned around and walked with Principal Rice to his office, she felt people’s eyes on her and heard people whispering all the way, this wasn’t good but it wasn’t new.

“Take a sit.” He said and sat as well on his chair after closing the door. “Do you understand why I brought you here?”
“No, if I’m being honest I don’t, I didn’t do anything.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and gave him an angry look.
“I know you didn’t.” He said. “Look, I already know what happened with your parents, this is a small town and news fly fast.”
“Good to know.” Bianca said with the most sarcastic voice she could have used.
“I’m not going to lie to you, things are not going to get better now, those kids don’t know how to react to something they are not used to.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?”
“We’ll help you to paint your locker and miss Glascock will have detention this week, I'm pretty sure she was the one to do that to your locker I just have to prove it.”
“And me? What am I going to do?”
“The only choice we have here for you is to move on.”
“Move on?”
“Yes, move on.”
“But how I am supposed to move on? You saw what they did today, what Rebecca told me, I don’t think this is the only thing they’re going to do.”
“What could they do to you, Miss del Rio?”
“I… I don’t know, throw my things away, hit me, get my clothes away while I’m in the gym showers, those idiots are crazy.”
“Move on, that’s what you have to do.” He said again.
“Just move on, move on and don’t do anything if they try to hurt me, what a good fucking solution.” She took her backpack and opened the door.
“Miss del Rio, wait.”
“I don’t have to wait, sir.” She said. “You already gave me your answer, thanks a lot.”

She slammed the door and ran to the auditorium, Bianca sat on the floor behind the curtains and threw her backpack away and she screamed, she screamed until her throat hurt and then punched the wall, she punched the wall until her knuckles were bleeding and felt how all the energy she had left was drained off her body.

"Fucking." She looked at the mark of blood she left on the wall. "Stupid piece of shit!" And hit it again.

She fell to the ground and held her wounded hand, she promised herself that she was not going to cry again and she was not going to do it, she refused to, she held back her tears and looked at the ceiling.
She remembered something her dad had taught her to control her anger.

"Count to ten, little Bee, and when you're done do it again."
"One… two, three, four…"
“… And you’ll see, Miss Portendonfer, this auditorium is the perfect place where you can teach your drama classes.” Bianca heard a professor say, she hid behind a couple of boxes that were on the stage and looked at the door as it opened. “The stage is big and the backstage is even bigger for all the ‘behind the curtains’ stuff to happen, if you know what I mean.”
“First of all; if you’re trying to flirt with me you won’t get further, I’m a lesbian.” She looked at the woman in disbelief from where she was hiding, she never heard someone to talk about their sexuality this open before, not in Louisiana. “And second I’ll be the judge of that, go back with Principal Rice, I want to have a minute to myself in this auditorium. Thank you.”

She didn’t hear him say a thing, just a door closing and the woman laughing.

“You can get out from your hiding spot, girl, it’s just the two of us now.”

Bianca looked from behind the boxes at the woman, she must be around Mrs. Hides age, she had long and blonde hair and was wearing a short dress that made Bianca think she didn’t have that much of a fashion sense.

"Come here, kid.” She said again. “Let’s have a kiki.”
“A kiki?” She asked her as she took her backpack and joined her on the first row of seats.
“That’s how we, homosexuals, say ‘have a talk’ in New York.” The woman had a high pitched voice and Bianca was not having it.
“Good to know.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds, she looked at Bianca.

“I heard your talk with your shitty Principal.”
“Yeah? Is that a habit of yours? Hearing other people's conversations or what?”
“The kid is rude but not as much as me.” She said. “Back in New York I’m an insult comic, I could cut you if I wanted to.”
“Then do it.”
“I said if I wanted to and I don’t want to.” She said. “Even I know when it’s appropriate to give someone a read or make fun of them and you are not here for that.” She waited to see if she got a response from her but the only thing she got from Bianca was silence. “Look, kid, from what I heard you’ve been under some hard shit lately and it seems that Principal Pee is not doing anything to help you.”
“He never does a shit for anyone besides the football team or the cheerleaders.” Bianca said.
“And he leaves aside all the artsy kids?”
Bianca nodded.
“Ugh, I hate those idiots.” The woman said, she took a pack of cigarettes from her bra and lit up one. “Want one?”
“No, thanks.” Bianca said and saw her taking a long drag of it. “You cannot smoke in here.”
“You say it like I give a shit.” She put it back on her bra and looked at Bianca. “Look, I’m here to cover Mrs. Ongina while she's off and imma teach art, history and I’ll also run the Drama Club, if while I’m here you need help don’t doubt in coming to me, ok?”
“How can I trust in someone I don’t even know?” Bianca asked her, the woman took a pair of tissues from her purse and pointed to her bleeding hand.
“Sometimes people who are not your family can become more than that.” She said. “I heard from some girls that you are like me, that you like girls.”
“And?” She saw how the professor stepped on her cigarette and walked to the door where the first aid kit was and took a couple gauzes and alcohol.
“I know how hard is to be queer and live in a small town, that’s why I moved to New York.” She poured a little alcohol on the gauze and asked Bianca for her hand, she pressed the gauze on her knuckles and Bianca held back a curse. “New York is where everything started to change for us, the Queer.”
“Then why are you here?” Bianca asked her while she put more gauzes on her hands and bandaged them.
“I just came to cover my friend, they think I’m gonna stay here for good after Ongina comes back but after what I saw I’m not doing it, I have a better gig in New York.”

Bianca looked at her and started wondering how she had arrived in the right moment.

“While I'm here I'm going to take care of you.” She said. “But don’t tell anyone I'm being nice, I have a reputation to keep.” She offered Bianca her hand. “Bernadette Portendonfer but call me Bunny.”
“Bianca del Rio, just call me Bianca.”
“Alright, Bianca.” She got up and Bianca joined her. “Let’s go get some paint to fix your locker, let’s show those fuckers that they won’t be able to take down Hurricane Bianca.”

Chapter Text

"... So you're saying the new teacher is the one who helped you painting your locker?"
"Yes." Bianca said and passed Raja the ball, they were on their gym class and were being careful Miss Michaels didn't catch them talking. "And said if I need any help I can go to her."
"Bitch, that's awesome!" She jumped on her place with the ball on her hands. "You have a teacher that will cover your man back."
"JAJA. So funny." Bianca caught the ball and threw it back to her friend.
"Did you tell her about Rebecca and her minions?"
"No."
"Why not? She can help you with that."

Raja was right, Rebecca and her friends had been harassing her since the incident of her locker, they would take her stuff, throw her food to the trashcan and even fill her locker with trash.

"Yes, you're right but I don't want to depend on other people, I have to be fucking independent and if I start relying on other people…"
"You'll get your heart broken?"
"You say it way too dramatic, I was going to say hurt."
"It's the same, bitch."
"Besides, I can take care of myself."
"HEY YOU TWO." Miss Michaels shouted from the middle of the gym. "Keep throwing the ball to each other or you'll have to enter the soccer game."

Bianca rolled her eyes and caught the ball.
"I just don't want that."
"I think you may want, look behind you, queen bee is looking at you with that stupid smile of her."

Bianca looked behind her and Raja was right, Rebecca was looking at her again with her minions around her whispering..

"I don't even care anymore." She passed Raja the ball again. "The same bullshit as always."
"I would think it twice.” Raja said. “You should tell her, you never know when you'll need a hand."

Miss Michaels blew the whistle and both friends went to the showers, Bianca left her clothes on her locker and took a towel, she showered and put her hair in a ponytail, she put the towel around her body and went to her locker to get her clothes and found it wide open.

"What the…" When she looked inside she noticed al of her stuff was gone, she looked around, over the lockers, down the benches and on the trashcans, her clothes and backpack were nowhere. "For God's sake!" Bianca heard laughing coming from the restroom, she followed the laughing and saw a couple of girls running out of the room, she looked into the toilet and found all of her clothes inside with her backpack and notebooks, on the tiles there was something written with red lipstick.

YOU BROUGHT THIS TO YOURSELF

"This… AHH!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, she hadn't done anything to those people, they were punishing her for just being different than them, they were making her feel like shit, they-
"Girl! It's Bun-bun, come out I brought you some clothes." Bianca held the tower around her and opened the door and saw her teacher with clothes on her right hand and Rebecca on her left hand who was trying to free herself from the professor.
"Let me go, you old-"
"Ah no, no, no." The professor said. "You're not going anywhere." She passed Bianca the clothes. "Get dressed, we're going to Principal's Rice office, come on."

----

Both girls were sitting in front of the Principal's desk with Miss Portendorfer by Bianca's side with two plastic bags on her hands, she took one of the bags and poured it's content on the desk, Bianca looked at it surprised.

"Look at this, Santino." Miss Portendorfer pointed at the stuff. "That's the spray paint that was used on Miss del Rio's locker to paint those insults a few weeks ago, the same exact color and I found it on Miss Glascock's locker and I also found this." She took a sweater, Bianca recognized it, it was hers. "It's Bianca's, she lost it a few days ago or should I say it got stolen by this girl, and this lipstick here was used to write a threat on the restroom tiles were all of Bianca's clothes and belongings were thrown into a toilet and it's the same color and shade Miss Thing here is wearing. What other prove do you want of your head cheerleader acting like an homophobic Christian white girl stereotype?" She looked at Rebecca. "This is harassment, this is abuse, are you aware of that?"
"I didn’t do that, they just want to blame me! All of this is just a big coincidence."

Principal Rice held the brick of his nose, he looked at the stuff and at the other plastic bag where all of Bianca's wet stuff was, he rested his back on his chair.

"Are you even listening to what you're saying? This is a serious issue!"
"Bernadette." Principal Rice looked at the professor. "How did you find all of this?"
"Since I arrived I noticed how miss Glascock looks at my protege here and every time she gives her a particular look something happens to Bianca, the other day Rebecca kept looking at her the whole history class and then her locker was filled with garbage and today on their gym class it was the same and then this happened." She placed the bag full of her wet stuff in front of the Principal.
"Rebecca." Principal Rice looked at her, he looked disappointed. "Do you understand what is going on? Why are you doing this?"
"I didn't do anything!" The girls said and crossed her hands over her chest. "Miss Portendorfer just wants to blame me for this, I didn't do anything!"
"Rebecca, I'm not the only one that has seen you, there are another two girls who told me about what you're doing, are they lying too?"
"Yes!”

The Principal took a long breath.

"Ok, this is enough, I cannot let this pass, I've given you more than enough chances in the past but I cannot do it this time. What do you suggest, miss Bernadette?"
"Well." She looked at Rebecca and smiled. "It's the football season coming right?"
"Yes, the end of the season." Bianca said, Miss Portendorfer smiled at Bianca and looked back at the Principal.
"Let her out of the cheerleaders team for what's rest of the season."
"What!? You can't do that! She can't do that!" Rebecca yelled at the Principal, he raised his hand to shush her and looked at the professor.
"Bernadette, its the end of the season, the team needs it's leader."
"But you can't let her go like this, she is harassing a student that was just kicked out of her house and that is living by herself."
"Ok, yes, I did it but she asked for it!" Rebecca yelled and looked at Bianca. "She asked for all of this when she decided to become a lesbian! I'm sure this disgusting dyke even dreams of kissing me and that turns her on, I'm who turned her into a lesbian, I know it, she wants me."
"You wish! I don't like anorexic pigs that think the world rotates around them!"
"That's quite enough!" Principal Rice shouted. "Both of you sit down, now!" Both girls did as they were told, the Principal took a long breath and looked at them. "Miss del Rio, I cannot give you detention, you didn't do anything wrong."
"But she-"
"Rebecca, I said it's enough." He told her and made her shut up. "But you, you've done more than enough, you just admitted it." He took a couple of papers from a drawer and a pen. "I don't like what I'm about to do but it's the only way you'll learn your lesson, Rebecca Glascock, you are dismissed from your role as head cheerleader and cheerleader in general, you cannot go back to the team until the season ends."
"WHAT!? Are you out of your mind!?"
"And you'll also have detention for the next two weeks with Mrs. Hides." He handed miss Portendorfer the sheets of paper and got up from his chair. "You can leave now."

The teacher took the plastic bags and walked out of the office with Bianca by her side while Rebecca stayed back yelling at the Principal, they went to the auditorium, Bianca sat on the first row of seats and her teacher handed her a dark glass bottle.

"It's root beer, girl."

Bianca grabbed the bottle and took a long sip.
"I told you I got your back, Bianca."
"How did you know? The whole Rebecca shit?"
"Your friends told me, the girl with the tattoos on her hands and the one with the tall boyfriend."
"Raja and Dela."
"Yes, them." She sat by her side on the row. "She said that you didn't want to say anything about it."
"I wanted to fix it alone."
"Well, you were doing a pretty shitty work on that, thank whoever it's up there I helped you." She punched her shoulder playfully. "We stopped queen bee so we stopped the hive, they will not bother you anymore."

Bianca smiled, Raja was right, she needed her.

"Thank you, miss Portendorfer, you're the shit."
The professor burst into laughter and patted her back.
"You're hilarious, kid!" She grabbed another bottle. "You've earn the right to call me Bunny, well done."
"I think is more like "Bunion" no?"

Bunny spit all of her root beer making Bianca laugh as well, both of them remained laughing for a while, Bunny wrapped her shoulders with her arm.

"Huracan Bianca is unstoppable, I love it."

Bianca let herself enjoy Bunny's embrace, she was warm and she was helping her and covering her, she felt safe with her.

It was nice.

----

Some days had passed since the showers incident and everything had gotten better for Bianca, the harassment had stopped, she could enjoy a whole meal without Rebecca throwing her food and the only stuff she had on her locker were her new books and notebooks that Rebecca had to buy her.

Everyone in the school knew that Bunny had Bianca's back and that's how she liked it.

She didn't had to work today so she walked straight to Dela's house, she finished her homework early and lay down on the floor with Marsh over her stomach, she felt good, it was nice having a quiet and peaceful time for her.

She fell asleep like that.

----

"Bianca, guess what!"
"What?"
"Come on! You gotta guess!"
"I don't know, Raja, what?"
"Osh, you're no fun."
"Let her alone, Raja, she's working." Danika said from the counter, Bianca gave Raja a mocking look and kept sewing the dress she had been working on.
"Don't think you won, bitch." Raja cut a pattern on the red fabric her mom had given her. "Even you didn't guess I'm gonna tell you, there's a party I want to go."
"Good for you.”
“It’s on Timberlane, in two weeks.”
“Timberlane? Bitch, what kind of party people can throw on Timberlane?” She took a pair of scissors and cut the string of thread.
“Raja, use kaam karane do.” Danika peeked through the door and gave a look to her daughter who only rolled her eyes.
“Theek hai maan! I’ll tell you when we’re at Dela’s”

----

"Come on, Bianca, I tell you is gonna be fun!"
“Sure thing, Raja.”
“You haven’t even gone once! You cannot say that!”
"What is gonna be fun?" Dela asked them, she was entering the house on her boyfriend's arms, she had a bandage around her ankle.
"What happened to you?" Bianca asked her and gave Marsh a carrot.
"A sprained ankle." She said. "Nothing to worry about!"
"Are you sure about that?" Gus asked her.
"Yes, Gus now shush your mouth and I'll see you tomorrow." Gus helped her to sit on the couch and kissed her goodbye before he left. "But what were you talking about? Where do you want to convince her to go?"
"To Timberlane!"

Dela gave them a confused look.

"Ehh Raja, why do you want to go there?" Dela asked her and rest her hurt ankle on the coffee table.
“You see? She also thinks you’re crazy.”
"Oh don't tell me you don't know!" She said. "Every year there's a big party for gay people on February in Timberlane, it's not near to June where the lesbian and gay manifestations happen so people don't catch them, we should go!"

Dela looked surprised.

"I've never heard of that before."
"You're straight, that's why you don’t know but you've earn the right to know as an ally."

Dela made Bianca a signal to join her on the couch, Bianca sat with her and Dela whispered on her ear.

"She doesn't know that I used to date Shangie?"
"I don't think she does."
"You dated who!?" Raja jumped on the couch next to them. "Shangie? The exchange girl from Texas? Why I didn't know that?"
"Because you were too busy inside the skirt of the girl from the Philippines."
"Manila is hot, what can I say? Guilty as charged." Raja said, she sat next to Bianca and gave Dela a look. "We haven't finished talking about Shangie and you, Bianca Maria-"
"That's not my name."
"-have to come with me, you're gonna love it! Just imagine this; lots of queer people with the freedom of being who they are, boys kissing boys, girls kissing girls, girls being the girls they know they are and boys doing the same. It's beautiful!"
"It does sound good, too good to believe it's a real thing and I don't want to spend my time on things that aren’t real." Bianca said and patted Dela's leg. "And even if I said yes, how would we get there? It's not like your mom is gonna lend you the car to go to a gay party in fucking Timberlane."
"I know that and that's why I asked miss Portendorfer if she could take us!"
"You did what?"
"And she said yes!"
"She said what!?"
"Oh come on, Bea! It's gonna be fun!"
"It does sound fun." Dela said with a curious look on her eyes.
"Dela! You're supposed to tell Raja that shit is stupid and that we shouldn't do it not join her on her stupidity!" Bianca talked back to her friend who only laughed.
"Bianca." Dela took her hands. "I'm gonna be honest with you, when was the last time you did something just with the objective of having a fun time?"
"I… I don't remember."
"And when was the last time you could live your truth without the fear of being harassed or hurt?"
"... I've never done that."
"You see what I mean? You need this, you need to start embracing who you are and I think that this road trip is exactly what you need." She squeezed her hands and felt Raja resting her head on her back and wrapping her arms around her. "So? Road trip or what?"

Bianca smiled playfully.

"Ok miss thing, road trip."

----

"Don't worry, Mr. de la Creme, the girls will be under my watch all weekend, we'll just go to visit the city and take a look around." Bunny was sitting on the living room talking with Dela’s dad and Raja's parents, they were asking her tons of questions about the road trip, Dela was worried her dad would not let her go while Raja looked relaxed.
It was funny, if she had wanted to make this trip there wouldn’t be a force powerful enough to convince her mom to let her go, her dad wouldn’t have a problem on letting her but her mom was a whole different story, she would start talking about the dangers of going out alone and how a young lady shouldn’t do those kind of things.

Jokes on her, she was the one who kicked her out to the "dangerous" world alone.

“Then it’s all settled!” Bunny clapped her hands getting Bianca out of her bubble of thoughts, she saw Bunny shaking hands with them, she looked at the girls and smiled. “Girlies, go to pack your stuff, I want you ready that Friday by 9AM in front of the school, we leave at nine thirty, got it?”
“Go it, Bu… Miss Portendorfer.”

She smiled and grabbed her purse from the couch.

“I’m leaving now, girls, see you tomorrow on history class, byeeee!”

Bunny left leaving all of them on the living room, Raja’s dad was the one to stop the silence.

“Is she wearing a wig or that’s her real hair?”
“I’m sure that’s a wig, love.”
“That’s definitely a wig.”

All of them nodded.

----

Two weeks later

“Need any help?” Bianca looked at her door and saw Dela standing leaving her backpack next to the stairs.
“Not really, only closing it.” Dela got on her bed and sat on the suitcase, they heard a weird sound and Bianca immediately zipped it. “Uff, thanks for that.”
“Anytime.” Bianca put the suitcase on the floor and joined her on the bed resting her feet on the wall. “You know we’re only going for a weekend, right? You don’t need a whole suitcase.”
“I know but my mom… Adelaida always said that is better to prevent than regret.”

Both friends were silent for a couple minutes, Bianca looked to her nightstand where her teddy bear was.

“When we were down with Miss Dottie talking I saw that you were not really in the moment.” Dela said. “Something was bothering you?”
“No, well, not like… Yes but not really, I was just thinking that if I had tried to do this road trip when I was still living with my parents there wouldn’t be a chance my mom would have let me go, she would start ranting about how risky making a road trip could be and that I’m not responsible enough and blah, blah, blah but now I didn’t have to ask permission to no one, I said I’m going and I’m actually going.”
“And how does it feel?”
“Not as good as I thought it would.

Dela didn’t say anything for a minute, she just nodded.

“Do you miss her? Your mom?” Dela turned to look at her.

Bianca sighed and looked at the ceiling.

“I do, a lot, we didn’t have the best of relationships mother-daughter but she’s still my mom.”
“What do you miss from her?”

Bianca thought it for a minute, what did she missed from her mom?

“Everything, she is tough but in the inside she has a heart of gold.”
“She reminds me of someone.” Dela poked her cheek.
“I remember… One time on third grade there was a girl that was horrible with me, mom had enough and told me “Go and punch her on the face and if a teacher calls you out, tell them I told you to do so.” And I did it, I fought back and when I went back home with a huge bruise on my face and no bully she took me get ice cream.” She laughed but felt an emptiness on her heart. “Do you know what I’m gonna miss the most from her?”
“What?”
“Every year on our birthdays she bakes for us our favorite cake.”
“What cake did she bake for you?”
“Chocolate, chocolate with sprinkles.” Bianca smiled. “She also gave me the best gifts, she gave me dresses, make up, heels, last year she gave me my sewing machine... “
“That’s why you were so upset when dad couldn’t find it.”
“Yes, it was the last gift she gave me and now it’s gone… ” She felt the tears forming on her eyes and an emptiness on her stomach, a sob escaped her lips. “Sorry, I just…” Dela wrapped her arms around her and drew circles on her back.
“It’s ok to cry, Bianca, it’s ok to feel like this and miss her.” She whispered in her ear. “You can cry, it’s ok, I’m with you.”

Bianca held her friend and closed her eyes, she felt the tears roll down her face.

“I just want the pain to end, Dela and I miss my mom, I miss her so bad and it hurts so bad to know she does not miss me, she just kicked me out not caring what would happen to me, she hadn’t called to see if I’m ok or even alive and I want to hate her for that, I want to hate her so bad but I can’t!”
“Shh, it’s ok, it’s ok, I got you.”

Both girls laid down, Bianca cried to sleep on her friend’s arms and Dela held her all the night long always reassuring her, Dela looked at Bianca, even on her sleep she looked so sad, she had bags under her eyes, it was obvious that she hadn’t had a good night of sleep since she started living with them, Bianca rested her head on her chest, it was obvious she was not going to be able to go to her room to sleep. Dela took Bianca’s blanket and covered the two of them.

“I’m always going to be here for you, my friend.”

And she fell asleep holding her friend.

Chapter Text

It was saturday morning, today there was going to be a big sale on the high school he had attended, he got up at seven to take a shower, he waited for the water to be on the right temperature when he heard a knock on the bathroom's door.

"Mijo, don't use all of the hot water, your brother didn't take a shower last night and I need him to shower today."

He sighed.
"Yes, ma'am."
"You make him take a shower and your little sister to look presentable, got it?"
"Got it, mom."

After he was ready he went to his siblings' room, he saw her little sister was already ready and doing her hair.

"Mom said you need to look decent."
"And I told her that I heard her the first time." She left the hairbrush on the drawer and went out of the room, he went to his little brother's bed.
"Hey, David, get up." He shook his little brother who only groaned. "Come on, you have to shower."
"Let me aloneee." David said and covered her head with his pillow.
"David, get up or I'm going to kick your ass."

David took the pillow off from his face and gave him an angry look.

"Like mom kicked Bianca out?'

Tony didn't know what to do or how to respond to that, he looked away and got up from his bed.

"Go take a shower, David."
"Why are you always avoiding the subject? Why you don't want to tell me where she is?"

Tony grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt from the closet and threw it to his brother's bed.

"Get ready."
"Why you don't want to talk about Bianca? Answer to me!"
"We have shit to do, go get showered and dressed, I'm not gonna say it twice."

Tony closed the door ignoring his brother yelling at him, he took a long breath and then another to stabilize himself.

"This shit is harder than I thought."
"Bianca did it every year and she never complained." Tony looked up and saw Lucy carrying a sleepy Claudia on her arms. "You should have thought about it before, you know, you took her away from us."
"Lucia, not this again."
"Don't worry, when you leave for Cambridge I'll be the one doing this, you won't suffer for long."

She walked down the stairs, Tony ran his hands on his face and rested his back on the wall, it was too much for him, how was Bianca able to do all of this every year?
"She must have a super power or something… Yes, that must be."

"Kids, the boxes!"
"We're coming!"

He helped his siblings to take every box with the stuff they were selling on his dad’s truck, he took another box from David and closed the door.

"Is that all, Antwan?” His dad asked him from the driver’s seat.
“No, there’s still one more box.”
“Let David bring it and get in the car.”
"Why me?" David asked his dad and gave his brother another look. "He's old enough to do stuff." "David." “No, dad, it’s ok and that box is heavy, I got it.”

Tony went back inside the house and to his room to bring a box he had been hiding for weeks under his bed, he opened it to check everything was in order and carried it to his dad’s truck.

"What’s on the box?” His little brother asked him.
“Nothing important, Dave, just some old stuff.” His dad gave him a suspicious look but didn’t say a thing, they drove all the way through downtown and arrived to the school, it was early and no one was there yet, they were the first ones to arrive again.
“Come on, boys, let’s get everything settled before your mom starts yelling at us.”

They settled a couple of tables on the gym while his mom and sisters made some signs for the sale with the other girls, after a while his friends arrived and Tony convinced them to help him settling everything, he placed a table outside of the gym door and placed the most eye catching stuff.

“Hey, Tony.” One of his friends called him.
“What?”
“Is not that your sister over there? Bianca?”

Tony turned around and saw that Carlos was right, Bianca was there sitting under a tree with some people and a dog on her lap, he got a better glance of her face, even from the distance he could see that she didn't look good, she had bags under her eyes and her eyes were swollen and puffy, like she had been crying, her hair looked messy and she looked tired and sad, really sad.

"Tony, come on, man, we gotta get this done.”
“I’m coming.” He saw her getting on a car with two girls and an older lady who said goodbye to a guy who was now holding the dog's leash and drove down the avenue.
"Tony?" Lucy touched his shoulder getting his attention. "What are you doing? Mom wants to know if you're done." She looked at the car. "Who's that?"
"No one we care." He turned around and looked at his sister. "Let's finish this shit."

He ignored the weird feeling on his stomach and walked behind his sister, he opened the box he had brought with him and placed an almost brand new sewing machine on the table for someone to buy it.

----

"Hi ladies!" Raja said and took off her sunglasses, she left her backpack on the grass and sat next to Bianca. "Where's Bunny?"
"She hasn't arrived." Bianca said to her friend.
"She was the one who told us we had to be here early and she's the one who's late."
"Maybe she thought we were not gonna listen to her and be late anyways." Dela said and gave Marsh a bite of her sandwich.
"She must know you well." Dela's dad said with a fun smile.
"I'm never late."
"JAJA, yes you are." Bianca told.her friend and received an irritated look from her, they heard a claxon and saw Bunny driving with her head out of the window.
"Giiiirls! Are you ready for a good old road trip?" She got down from the car wearing sunglasses and the biggest hat Bianca had seen.
"What's up with the ugly hat?"
"How dare you? This is a very expensive hat I bought in New York years ago, it's called fashion, Yankx."
"That doesn't change the fact it's ugly." Bunny pinched Bianca's stomach.
"Fucking rude." She unlocked the doors. "Get it in the car, we don't have all day and put the seatbelts on, if you go flying out of the window is not my fault."

They said goodbye to Dela's dad and left the school, Bianca looked through the window and saw the gym sale, she saw a guy and a little girl that looked like her siblings.

"Shit…"
"What happened? Did you forget something?" Dela asked her.
"No, nothing, let's just go."

----

After two hours of driving they arrived to Timberlane, Bunny parked on a small hotel next to a liquor store, they left the car and took their stuff from the trunk.

"Ok, girls, I book two rooms for you just asked for the booked rooms for Bunny Portendorfer, one with a single bed and another one with two single beds, it's up for you to decide who gets each room." Bunny said as she got on her car again.
"Where are you going? You're not coming with us to the party?"
"Hell no! I'm a Stonewall girl, not Timberlane, I'll go to buy some shit, eat some food and then come back to sleep 'cause I'm old, you three have fun."

She started her car and drove away, the girls took their stuff with them and followed the guy from the hotel to their rooms, Raja said she wanted the single room and Dela and Bianca were ok with sharing, they got in their rooms and unpacked their stuff, the room was not the best she had stayed in but definitely not the worst, Raja entered their room and Dela jumped to the bed and hugged the pillow.

"What are you going to wear for the party?" Dela asked her.
"I don't know, I brought some clothes-"
"No shit!"
"-but I don't know what to wear."
"Let me see what you got." Raja said and unzipped her suitcase, she took her clothes piece by piece and gave a sigh.
"What?"
"This is grandma's clothes." Dela burst on laughter as Bianca looked at her friend clearly offended.
"What!? This is not!"
"Yes this is!" Bianca pulled out a knitted sweater and a skirt. "This is what you would wear to the church and where we're going is very far away from being a church."
"I like them, they're cute." Dela said and took the sweater from Raja.
"You don't count."
"What do you suggest then?" Bianca asked her and Raja gave her a malicious smile.
"You brought money?"
"Duh."
"Let's go the sale."

----

Raja led her friend through the downtown until they arrived to a big house where a lady was sitting on a fluffy pink chair with a chihuahua on her lap, the yard was full of weird stuff that Raja told them she was selling.

"You can find anything here, Miss Tammie has everything you can imagine." Raja told them.
"Dead people too?" Bianca asked her as she saw the weird lady whispering something to the chihuahua's ear.
"Don't ask her, I'm pretty sure she does." Raja whispered to them and turned to the woman. "Tammie!"
She stopped talking to her dog and smiled to them.
"Raja banana!" The woman got up from where she was sitting and left her dog on the pink chair, she was wearing what Bianca knew was a huipil, a mexican dress with bordado all around the neck, her eyebrows were really thick and she seemed like she was running just towards them, no, she was running towards them and stopped in front of Raja and point at her with her long finger. "Why haven't you come to see me?"
"I'm here now, it doesn't count?"
"You're not a number, Raja banana, you don't count." She looked at Bianca and Dela and gave them a big smile. "Hi there! My name is Tammie Brown with an I and an E and I am a high concept art character." She offered her hands to the girls and then hid them behind her back when they were going to shake them. "Ha! You were just pranked!" The woman started laughing and then stopped to look at them. "But the real question is who are you?'
"I… My name is Delilah, Dela for short, Lila for my dad and Miss de la Creme if you're nasty."
"Uuhh! That was good!" The woman clapped her hands and looked at Bianca. "And who are you, lady of the big bun in her hair?"
"Bianca del Rio, the girl of the big bun in her hair."

Tammie looked her directly into her eyes and gave two steps towards her.

"Lady Bianca, you don't know who you are."
"What?"
"You don't know who you are, that's why you just repeated what I said about you." The woman placed two of her fingers on her forehead and looked right into Bianca's eyes. "You're a lost kid, aren't you?"

Bianca didn't know how to respond, she looked at her friends, Dela seemed as confused as Bianca and Raja seemed curious about what Tammie was doing.

"Miss Bianca, you are just like the girl that came by like an hour ago, I told her "you are very lost, you don't know how to go in life, you're scared, get rid of the fear and go at it!" She just looked at me like I am a crazy chihuahua woman, she paid for a blue shirt and ran away! Can you believe it!?"
"I… No?"
"That's right!" Tammie then placed another finger now on her neck. "Bianca panini, you need to find yourself and know who you are, don't be lost, find you and enjoy yourself, be yourself even when the world tells you that you're crazy be proud of being the chihuahua lady and scream to the world to excuse their mouth because we are pretty great." She retired her fingers and looked straight at her. "And so are you."

All of them remained silent for a while, Tammie gave them a big smile and went back to her chair, she placed her dog on her lap and crossed her legs.

"Feel free to look into my curiosities, maybe you will find yourself there, Bianca panini."

The girls nodded and started looking through the stuff she was selling.
"Guys, she is really… Different." Dela said as she showed Bianca an orange shirt.
"I told you that Tammie is like that, I've known her for a couple years and she does that every time with someone that catches her attention." Raja said and shook her head at the orange shirt. "Nope, that shirt is awful."
"What do you think about her, Bianca?"
"She's crazy."

They kept looking through the clothes, Bianca was not going to admit it to her friends but she had found what Tammie told her very true to herself, she was lost and she didn't know who she was, for 18 years she had been señora Adelaida's daughter, Tony's sister, Dante's daughter and now she was none of that, she was just Bianca.

But who was Bianca?
She didn't know.

"This is perfect!" Raja's voice got Bianca out of her thoughts, she looked at her friend who had a pair of black jeans and a high heel pair of boots. "We just need to find a shirt that goes with this."
"What about this one?" Dela showed them a leopard print blouse, Raja nodded.
"It's perfect, are you down to wear this for the party, Bianca?"

Bianca thought it for a minute, there was no way that her mom would have let her wear something like that before but now her mom was not there, she couldn't tell her what was wrong and what was right, not anymore.

"Sure, why not?"

The girls smiled and went to Tammie to pay for the clothes, she took a yellow box and put the clothes on it.

"The very expensive leopard shirt I bought in Mexico, the jeans I stole from a store and the boots that I never wore, four dollars please." Bianca handed her a five and told her to keep the change. "Enjoy the party, girls! And remember if someone comes for you tell them that you don't see them walking kids in nature!"

----

"Come on! Put on the boots, I wanna see you!" Raja and Dela sat on the bed waiting for Bianca to come out of the bathroom, Bianca sighed and opened the door.
"So? What do you think?"
"You look fucking hot!" Raja said and grabbed Dela's arm. "I'm sure you'll get laid tonight."
"Raja!"
"What? This party is where a lot of people get their cherry popped." She said and popped her tongue. "Maybe you'll find someone here that you like."
"Stop talking, you're gross!" They went to the mirror and started doing their make-up, Bianca let Raja do her hair while Dela helped her with her make-up, when she looked at her reflection she didn't see herself, she looked different and she liked it, her eyes had black eyeshadow and her lips were red, Raja had done a high half ponytail, she looked good, she liked it.
"What do you think?"
"I look… Hot!"
"I told you so!" Raja passed them their purses and grabbed two bottles of vodka from her backpack. "Ok, ladies, let's go the rainbow."

----

The girls walked down an avenue and arrived to a big ballroom, there was a big guy on the door dressed in all black, he gave them a look.

"Are you a friend of Dorothy?" He asked them with a very deep voice.
"Were the tin man, the lion and the scarecrow." Raja immediately say, the man nodded and let them in.
"What was that?"
"Friends of Dorothy, it's a code." Raja explained them. "We use it to identify ourselves, if people don't answer correctly they can't get in." She opened a curtain for them. "Ladies, welcome to Oz."

Bianca was amazed, the whole ballroom was decorated in colors, rainbow flags were covering the windows and there were a lot of people, there were girls kissing girl, boys kissing boys and drag queens and kings, she saw the queens walk around on their heels and their enormous wigs and some other explaining younger people how to walk on heels and the kings explaining girls how to act like a guy, music was blasting on the speakers and people were drinking everywhere.

"What do you think?" Raja asked them.
"It's…" Dela started to say.
"Amazing." Bianca said. "Are they going to ask for our IDs if we want a drink?"
"Nope, serve yourself."

The three of them poured vodka on a glass and took each a shot, Raja burst on laughter at their faces after their first shot, a tall black drag queen smiled at the girls, she approached to them with a bottle on her hand.

"First time here, kitty girls?" She asked them with a singing voice over the music.
"Is that obvious?" Bianca asked her.
"Oh girl, you look like a newborn Bambie and by the way you're looking around you also look like a kid in a candy store." She looked at her in awe . "Wanna have fun?"
"I…"
"Mom and dad are not here, kitty girl, enjoy yourself."

She gave her a look. "And put on some red lipstick, everything is better with cherry big lips." And winked at her, Raja only patted her shoulders and dragged them to the dance floor.

Music was blasting, Bianca started to feel dizzy, the alcohol was getting her but she didn't care, she was having fun, she grabbed Dela and Raja's hands and danced around with them as she accepted drinks and shots from strangers, she felt someone put their hand on her shoulder, when she turned around she saw a girl; her hair was blond and straightened, she was wearing blue eyeshadow with pink lipstick and a blue shirt, the girl grabbed her hands and placed them on her hips.

"Wanna dance, Bianquita?"

Bianca nodded and started dancing with the girl, she placed her hands on her waist while Bianca placed hers on her shoulders, the girl moved to the rythm of the song and led Bianca on their dancing.

"You are amazing at dancing, Bianca." The girl said and roced Bianca's cheek with her lips.
"That's bull-" Bianca frost on her feet, how did this girl know her name? She apparted from the girl and looked carefully at her. Pink lipstick, she heard Bunny's voice on her head; it's the same color and shade Miss Thing here is wearing. "Wait a sec… what the fuck!? Rebecca?"

The girl put her finger on her lips shushing her, she grabbed her hand and took her with her to a garden that was on the back of the ballroom, there was a bench surrounded by roses, Rebecca offered her a seat but Bianca refused it.

"Are you going to explain me what the fuck is going on?" Bianca asked her. "What the fuck happened? Why were you dancing with me? Why are you here?"
"I'm pretty sure you know why I am here."
"No, Rebecca, I don't know, why the fuck are you here!?"
"Who attends these parties?"
"Raja said that gay people, trans people and drag people… wait, are you…"

Rebecca sat on the bench and passed her hand on the back of her head.
"Yeah, gay, lesbian, whatever you want to call me."

Bianca didn't know what to say, Rebecca Glasscock, the queen bee of her high school had just told her she was like her, what can you say to people on this kind of situations? She didn't know what to tell her but she did know what she wanted to ask her.

"If you're like me then why have you been doing all those stupid things? Throwing away my food, filling my locker with trash, stealing my sweater?"
"Do you want to know the truth?"
"Yes I do!"
"Because I like you."

Bianca was caught off guard at what Rebecca said but didn't believe the girl.
"Yeah, right, I'm drunk, Rebecca but not a pendeja." Bianca told her. "Do you really want me to believe that you've been harassing me just because you like me? Yeah, that sounds very logical."
"I was not doing that because I liked you, I did take your sweater because of that but the other stuff I did was for other reason."
"What reason, Rebecca? I don't think there's a valid reason to harass someone!"
"It was because I was jealous and angry."
"What?" Bianca looked at the girl, Rebecca crossed her arms on her chest and looked away from her. "Why would you be jealous of a girl that was kicked out for being gay?"
"I am not supposed to be this, I am not allowed to like you and I am jealous because even you were kicked out but you are free to live your life as you want." Rebecca said and wiped her eyes. "I can't do that, if I did it I don't know what would happen to me."
"That's-"
"And I was so mad and jealous to see that even when you were kicked out you had support, Delilah took you into her home, tattoo girl got you a job and you have miss Portendorfer on your side, you are fucking privileged!"
"I don't have privileges, Rebecca." She sat in the bench, three inches apart from her. "Every day is a struggle since I left my family, it hasn't been easy."
"And then." Rebecca said ignoring what Bianca was saying. "I started to like you, last year and I felt gross, disgusted I was just…"
"Punishing me because you liked me?"
"I know it sounds stupid but in the moment it made sense to me." Rebecca said and looked at the floor. "And I was so jealous that you live your life as a gay girl."
"That's where you're wrong." Bianca told her and looked at the sky. "Ever since I was kicked out I haven't given myself the chance to do it, this is the first time I do something 'gay' if you know what I mean." Rebecca gave a little laugh and looked at her. "I haven't kissed a girl, I haven't dated a girl or even go under the skirt of a girl, I am not Raja or Dela who do that with their partners, I just haven't gotten any opportunities to do so."
"And what if we do it?"
"What?"

Rebecca placed her hand on top of hers and turned to see her.

"Neither you or me have had something with a girl, let's try it here, now."

She cupped Bianca's face with her free hand and kissed her, it was Bianca's first kiss, she didn't know what to do and as when they were dancing, she let Rebecca led her. Bianca had never kissed someone in her life and didn't understand why people was so obsessed with kissing but now that she was here kissing this girl she understood why, Rebecca's lips were amazing, she gave Bianca a little bite on her lip and Bianca got a weird feeling on her stomach.

"Do you want me to stop?"
"No." She said breathless. "Don't stop."

Rebecca continued kissing Bianca, she encouraged her to open her mouth and let her inside, God, it was amazing, Bianca took her hand under Rebecca's shirt and drove it to her breasts.
"Can I…"
"Do whatever you want to me." Rebecca led her hand to her boob and under her bra, Bianca was not sure if she felt more drunk on alcohol or the feeling of being kissed. "Do you want to go further?"

Bianca hesitated, she told her she had never been with a girl, she was not even sure what to do with her own body.

"I…"
"Don't worry, I'll show you."

Rebecca took her hand and walked with her behind a bush of flowers, she took her shirt of and placed it on the floor for Bianca to lay down. "It's gonna be ok." She took Bianca's blouse off, next her own bra and then Bianca's. She kissed all of Bianca's chest and went on her boobs, Bianca felt Rebecca's tongue on her and it was amazing, she decided she wanted to make her feel good, she wanted to learn but not there.

"Hey, can we go to my hotel room?" Bianca asked her, Rebecca rested her head on Bianca's stomach.
"Why? Are you scared someone might see us?"
"I actually am." She out on her blouse and helped Rebecca to put on hers, they got up and went inside the party, Bianca told her to wait while she went for the keys, she found her friends talking with the drag queen they had seen before. "Raja."
"What?" Her friends looked at her surprised. "Biiiitch! You have all of your lipstick smeared all over your face!"

Bianca rolled her eyes and took Raja's glass, she drank all it's content and looked at her.

"Can you lend me your room?"

Her friends and the drag queen looked at her and laughed.

"Who would have thought this girl that looked so serious when she arrived was going to be the first one to leave with someone!" The drag queen said. "Come on, kitty girl, give her the keys."

Raja laughed again and gave her the keys if her room.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

Bianca nodded and left, she found Rebecca waiting for her in the door smoking a cigarette, she stepped on it and held Bianca's hand, they walked to Bianca's hotel and to Raja's room kissing each other, they took each other's clothes and laid down the bed.

"Bianquita, the door."

Bianca got up and put the "Don't disturb" sign on the door.

Chapter Text

“I tell you that Mrs. Davenport hates me! She didn’t even looked into my eyes when I was doing my presentation.” Raja said and closed her locker.
“To be fair.” Bianca said as she opened hers. “She never looks anyone in the eyes."
Dela punched Bianca with her hand, Bianca rolled her eyes and found a note pasted on her biology book.

Meet me in the chemistry lab when classes end.
Rebe.

“What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
“Are you going to tell us who left you that note?” Dela asked her and tried to grab it.
“Nope, it’s not important.”Bianca put Rebecca’s note with the others on a little box she had started to keep on her locker. “Let’s just go.”
“Come on, you don’t tell us anything anymore.” Dela continued as Bianca closed her locker. “Why you don’t want to tell us?”
“Because it’s nothing, end of the story, bye.”
“Bianca come on.” Raja joined Dela on the asking, Bianca tightened her lips and looked at them.
“I tell you that this note thing is nothing, stop making a big show about it, ok? Stop it, now.”

Dela and Raja sighed and started walking away, Bianca followed her friends down the hall to their english class and smiled, she and Rebecca had been seeing each other almost every single day since they had came back from Timberlane, sometimes they would lock themselves on almost every empty classroom they would find, sometimes even on the janitor’s closet, nothing would stop them from spending at least a moment together, they hadn’t told anyone, not even their closest friends because no one had to know, their relationship or whatever they had was their own, it was none of other people’s business.

Outside of their bubble they were still the Rebecca and Bianca everyone knew, they didn’t really talk or even look at each other but, if Bianca was being honest to herself, there were times she couldn’t help it and she would be caught looking at her, Rebecca would notice and immediately go into bitch more with her but Bianca didn't care.

They had their secret.

The bell rang, she took her stuff and left the classroom running, she had a date today.

----

“Not again.”
“Bianca, wait!”

Raja and Dela saw their friend rushing out of the classroom and not waiting for them, Raja rolled her eyes and left the classroom with Dela, when they arrived to their lockers Bianca was again running away down the hall.

"Where are you going? Bianca!" Dela called her friend but she didn't turned around, she just left.
“Girls.” The two of them turned around to see Bunny standing behind them with a bunch of exams on her hands. “What’s up with Bianca? She’s running all around the school and everywhere she goes.”
“We don’t really know.” Raja said, she opened her locker and placed her books inside. “She’s been like this since we went to the party.”
“She’s been like this since February?” Bunny asked them, Dela helped with some of the exams. “She’s been like this for two months?”
“Yes, two months.” Raja reaffirmed and closed her locker.
“She hasn’t tell you anything?” They followed her to her new office Director Rice had given her since Miss Ongina had came back, they put the exams on her desk and sat down.
“Nope.” Dela said. “I’ve been asking her and she just tells me that she is ok, that I don’t need to worry and that I should mind my business.”
“When I asked her she told me to mind my shit and when I insisted again she told me to go fuck myself, the usual Bianca.”

Bunny shook her head, she took off her heels and put on a pair of sandals she kept on one of her drawers.

“She is hiding something from us and everytime we ask her is the same! ‘Not now. I’m busy. Later. I told you I’m fine.’ And I’m starting to feel tired of this.” Dela said. “I feel like we’re losing her, like… Our friend doesn’t trust us anymore.” Her voice broke and a few tears could be seen on her eyes.
“Hey, don’t cry.” Raja wrapped her arm around her. “Don’t cry, please because I’m gonna get mad and I’m going to punch her on her tit.”
“Wait, wait, no one has to get her titty hurt!"
“Now that I remember.” Raja said. “Someone left her a note, on her locker, today.”
“What? A note? Like a post it?”
“Yes.”
“Did you get to read it?”
“No, she hid it on a little box before I could.”

Bunny nodded.

“What number is her locker?”
“283.”

Bunny opened the drawer where she kept her sandals and pulled out a bunch of keys, she took one and gave it to Raja.

“I’m gettin’ worried, try to find out what she’s hiding, don’t forget to be careful.” Bunny said. “We don’t know what must be going on in her mind and if she does not want to tell us them we are finding out." Raja took the key and shared a look with Dela.
"She's gonna be really mad at us if she finds out we did this." Dela said and took the key.
"Well, then do it carefully, don't let her catch you." Bunny said and rested her back on her chair. "If you got away with stealing the alcohol from your parents and didn't get caught then you can do this." She looked outside of the window.
"Let's go, Raja."

----

Bianca stretched her arms and grabbed her bra from the floor of the laboratory.

“What are you doing?” Rebecca asked her and wrapped her arm around her waist.
“Putting on my bra.”
“I like you better without it.”
“Ew, move away.”

Bianca got up from the floor and put on her bra, she looked at her reflection on the window and saw her breasts covered in hickeys and a small one on her neck.

“Rebecca, I told you I didn’t want hickeys.”
“Why not? They look good on you.”
“And they’re difficult to cover up.”
“Are you trying to cover up what we have?” Rebecca asked her from where she was sitting.
“Is not that what we always do?”
“Touché.”

Bianca put on her pants and shirt, she grabbed her backpack and put on her shoes.

“Where are you going, Bianquita?”
“To work, I already missed one day and I don’t want Danika to regret hiring me.”
“She won’t get mad if you miss one day more.” Rebecca placed her hands on Bianca’s hips and got them inside her pants. “Call in sick and let’s do it again.”
“No, Rebe.” She got her hands out of her pants. “I need to go to work, I have to pay the rent to Dela’s dad and keep saving money for college, remember I don’t have rich parents that care about me, I gotta pay it myself.”
“Bianca, come on! Stay.”
“Rebecca, I can’t.” Bianca walked to the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”
"Bianquitaaa, come on!"
"I start in 20 minutes, I'll see you tomorrow." She started walking towards the door when Rebecca's voice stopped her.
“Do you love me?”

There was a long silence between the two of them, Rebecca was naked sitting on the mess of her clothes that were on the floor and looking at her without blinking, Bianca already had her hand on the doorknob and the question caught her off guard.

Did she love Rebecca?

How could she tell if she loved her?

She didn't know how she could tell if she loved someone and she definitely didn't know if she loved her. How was she supposed to answer that question?

“You don’t need to answer to me in words but you can do it with actions.” Rebecca got up and walked to her and held her free hand. “Stay with me and let’s do it again, that will be enough for me, but if you go.” She let go of her hand. “It’s enough for me to understand that you don’t love me. We'll stop with this thing that we have, I'll never bother you anymore because I'll know that you don't want anything with me anymore."

Rebecca walked back to the mess of her clothes, Bianca started to get nervous, what should she do? She needed to go to work but she really wanted to stay too, if she left she would have her job but lose Rebecca and would be alone again.

What to do?
What to do?
What to do?

She closed the door.

----

Bianca ran to Dela’s house and sat on the stairs before going in, she recovered her breath and stayed there for a while, she had been with Rebecca all afternoon and she felt her legs shaking and all of her body sore, she shook her hands and legs and opened the door carefully trying not to wake anyone up, it was past midnight and she knew that by that time everyone in the house was already asleep, she climbed the stairs and saw the door of her room opened.

“What the…”

She went inside her room very quietly and heard some voices.

“Have you found anything?”
“Not yet, wait this-”
“What the hell are you doing in my room!?”

Raja and Dela jumped at the sound of her voice, Marsh was with them and wiggled his tail at the view of Bianca.

“Not now, Marsh.” Bianca put her backpack on her bed and looked at the mess that was on the floor, they had taken out all of her clothes and books, everything was on the floor and it was a mess. “What the fuck is wrong with you? What are you doing?”
“We thought you were not sleeping here tonight." Dela said. "You know, like all the other nights."
"That's none of your business, what I want to know is why are you in my room and doing this mess!"
“That’s not for you to ask when actually this is my house, not yours.” Dela told her with the angriest voice they had ever heard her talk. “And we're here because we’ve been asking you for weeks what is going on with you and you don’t tell us anything so we came here to look for answers.”
“What? I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh, you don’t know?” Dela asked her with a sarcastic tone. “Since the party you’ve been all weird, you just run away and disappear for hours, you don’t even come here to sleep, you are hiding stuff from us.”
“Dela, calm down.” Raja placed a box on the floor and reached for her friend.
“No, I’m not calming down.” Dela yelled. “We are supposed to be your best friends, we don’t keep secrets from each other, and yet here you are hiding us stuff.”
“Dela…”
“You’re fucking Rebecca, aren’t you?”

Dela yelled at her and threw her little box to the floor, all the notes she kept hiding on her locker were all over the floor.

“How did you get this? Did you…” Bianca looked at her friends and saw Raja with a key on her pocket. “You forced my locker, your forced my fucking locker.”
“I didn’t force you locker, I just opened it with the key that is on the teachers’ room.” Raja said. “And we wouldn’t have been on the need to do this shit if you had been honest with us! Why the fuck are you doing this?”
“I didn’t say I was fucking Rebecca!”
“But you didn’t deny it.” Dela talked back. “I just… Ahh!” She rested her back on the wall and slipped down to the floor, Marsh went to her and started licking her face, Bianca could see tears rolling down her friend’s face.
“Dela…”
"We tell you everything, Bianca, everything! I told you about my mom's passing, I told you about Shangie and I told you about Gus! Raja told you about Manila, about the problems with her dad and here you are not telling us this shit!"
"That's not fucking fair, Delilah! You were the first fucking person I went to when my mom kicked me out! You were the first person I opened up about how much I missed my family!" Bianca yelled back at her friends, she could feel her voice breaking but she was not going to give her the pleasure of seeing her crying, she wouldn't show her that she had the power to make her feel like shit. "I just wanted to have a fucking secret, secret for once in my fucking life!”
“I know that, I just… AHH! I just don't understand!” Dela said, Raja sat down next to her and held her hand. “She just-she made you feel like shit for years! And even more now that you’re out to the world, she even threw all of your stuff in a toilet. Why in the hell are you seeing her!? I don’t understand!”
“I-”
“And we are here just helping you in everything we can so you don’t get hurt and then you go inside the wolf’s mouth and fuck the girl we’ve been trying to get away from you, I don’t get it!”
“Dela.” Raja interrupted her friend. “You will never get it if you don’t let her speak.”

Dela sniffed and nodded, Bianca sat down on the floor in front of them, she took of her scarf and her shoes.

“It’s complicated.” She started. “Rebecca is… Like me, like Raja.” Both girls looked at her surprised.
“What do you mean?” Raja asked. “Does… She likes girls too?”
“She does.” Bianca said. “And she has liked me, for a long time.”
“But… But if she liked you why was she being a bitch with you?” Raja asked her.

Bianca rubbed her hand on her nape and sighed.

“It’s complicated.”
“It must be a good reason for you to forgive her and have sex with her.” Dela said and looked at the hickey Bianca had on her neck.
“Stop looking at it, I don’t like it.” Bianca put on the scarf again. “Well… Rebecca, she…”
“Why do you cover it?"
“Dela, stop.” Raja interrupted her. “Let her talk, if you don’t let her you’re never going to understand!”

Dela wiped her tears and crossed her arms, Bianca rubbed her hands on the hickey that she had on her neck and continued.

“Rebecca said that she hated me because I made her feel things that she shouldn’t feel, that she got nervous every time that she saw me and that she felt things she had never felt anytime she saw me, that it was nothing like what she had felt with a guy.”

Dela rolled her eyes while Raja was silent listening to her.

“Then why was she mean with you?”
“I’m going to that part.” Bianca said. “She knew that it was wrong to feel that way, that she is supposed to fall in love with a guy and marry and have beautiful kids and that she has to be a good wife, and seeing me made her feel like she didn’t want that, that she wanted to be with me and it got her angry; she couldn’t feel those things, she had to stop and she thought that if she was mean and a bitch to me, the feeling would stop.”
“But it didn’t stop.” Dela said and looked at Bianca.
“No, it didn’t.”
“She was the girl you ran off with in the party.” Raja realized, Dela looked at Raja with her wide open mouth. “Wasn’t she?”
“It was her, she was in the party and Tammie also talked with her, that’s why she took the decision to finally make a move.”

Both of her friends were shocked, the two of them were silent looking at the floor, not moving. Marsh had slept on Dela’s lap and was snoring directly on Dela’s hand.
“Wow… That was…”
“Unexpected.” Dela finished Raja’s sentence.
“Imagine for me.” Bianca said, she took off the scarf again and hugged her knees. “I guess I owe you an apology for how I’ve been these last months but I need you to understand that this was a secret, I knew that in the moment you found out about my relationship with Rebe you would get really mad.”
“No shit.”
“-but I didn’t tell you because it was my shit and I wanted to remain private ‘cause I knew that shit would hit the fan and well… it did.”

Raja held the brick of her nose and Dela took a long breath.

"Girls." Dela's dad slightly opened the door. "I don't want to interrupt any of your girl talks but is almost one in the morning and you have school tomorrow." He looked at Raja. "Are you staying over?"
"If you're ok with that, if not I can drive home."
"No, it's dangerous for a young lady to go out at this hours. Feel free to spend the night."
"Thank you." Dela's dad closed the door again. "Dela, can I sleep with you?"
"Sure." Both girls got up and returned Bianca's stuff to the closet and the drawers, Bianca just looked at them while they cleaned their mess, Raja offered her a hand to get up and

Bianca accepted it.

"Thanks."
"We'll talk later." Raja and Dela went out of the room and closed the door, Marsh stayed with her and climbed to her bed.

Bianca shook her head and put on her pajamas, she got in the bed with the dog and patted his head.

"I fucked it up really bad, didn't I?" Marsh licked her fingers and wiggled his tail. "Gosh, sometimes I wish I was a dog too."

Bianca kept looking at the ceiling for a while but she couldn't sleep, she put on her sandals and a sweater and went out to the front porch, she sat down and looked around, she saw two guys smoking and by the smell she knew those were not cigarettes, there was also Magnolia sitting in the top of a tree outside of her house.

“Can’t sleep?”

Bianca looked behind her back and saw Dela standing in there with a blanket around her shoulders.

“No, neither can you?”
“Nope.” She said. “Do you mind if I join you?”

Bianca shook her head and Dela sat next to her and offered her the blanket as well, Bianca nodded and got closer to her friend with the blanket around the two of them.

They remained silent for a while looking at the sky, there were not stars, only clouds and it was colder than usually.

“I think I owe you an apology, Bea.” Dela was the first one to end the silence, she looked down to the floor. “I was an asshole back there.”
“It’s ok, you don’t have to apologize.”
“No, I have to.” Dela said. “I have to understand that it’s your life to live, not mine, that if you decide that you want to be with Rebecca I have to accept it, even though I don’t like her, not even a little bit.”

Bianca smiled and nodded.

“Are you happy with her?” Dela asked her. “Like, happy, happy?”
“I don’t know. I’m not sad, that’s the important part, I think.”
“Do you love her?”
“Not this fucking question again.” Bianca rested her elbows on her knees and pressed her hands on her eyes.
“What? Why? Again?”
“Rebecca asked me if I love her today.”
“Oh… What did you tell her?”
“I didn’t tell her a thing, I don’t know if I love her.” Bianca said and looked at her friend. “How did you know that you love Gus?”
“Well, it was… I don’t know, weird.” Dela said with a smile all over her face. “At the beginning he was too dumb, he would do some stupid stuff like walking on his hands and talk in weird voices and that would make me laugh a lot and then, everytime he eats ice-cream he gets it all over his face and I always clean him up, I learned to love those little things step by step, it’s not from one day to the next one.”
“Did he ever make you do something you didn’t want?”
“Never, there has to be a level of mutual respect, if your partner doesn’t hear you when you tell them no, there’s something wrong.” Dela was silent for a moment and then looked at her. “Has Rebecca made you do something you didn’t want to do?”
“What? No!”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Her hand went to the hickey on her neck. “Never.”

Dela didn’t seem convinced, she got up and Bianca joined her.

“I believe you, now let’s go to sleep, we have to tell Bunny tomorrow about you, she was really worried.”
“She’s gonna whip my ass.”
“She’s not gonna whip your ass.”

----

“I’M GONNA FUCKING WHIP YOUR ASS.”

Bunny threw her stuff on her desk and looked at her.

“Raja and Dela, out. Bianca, you stay.” She took the microphone on the desk as her friends gave her a look and closed the office’s door. “Rebecca Glasscock, report yourself to miss Portendorfer’s office in this moment.” She turned it off and looked at her again. “Don’t even talk.”

They waited for a few minutes until Rebecca entered the office, she went pale at the view of Bianca sitting in front of Bunny’s desk.

“Miss Dottie.”
“Portendorfer for you, Rebecca. Sit down.” Rebecca did as Bunny told her, Bunny sat on her seat and looked at them. “I guess you know that the reason you two are here is because you’re in serious problems.”
“Are we?”
“Yes, you are.” She said, she opened her drawer and grabbed a plastic bag with underwear, Bianca knew it was theirs. “Care to explain why did you leave this on the yard, the chemistry lab and the history classroom?”
“It-it’s not ours, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Rebecca’s hands started to shake and Bianca could see sweat on her forehead.
“Oh, believe me, I know what I’m talking about.” Bunny said. “Look, this meeting is not for me to intimidate you, I know that you two had been seeing each other outside and inside the school, don’t try to hide it, I know.”
Rebecca looked at Bianca alarmed, Bianca held her knee down the table and mouthed an “its ok” but Rebecca tossed her hand away.
“I just want you to be careful if this is what you’re gonna do and don’t pay less attention or focus on your other activities just to be with each other, Bianca has to go to work and you have to go to your church, I don’t want to hear from anyone that you’ve been missing your classes or activities, did you hear me?”

Both girls nodded, Rebecca was still pale and nervous.
“And keep your underwear to yourselves, please, I don’t want more unexpected surprises, ok?”
“Ok.”
“Perfect, you can leave, Rebecca. Bianca, I need you to stay a little bit longer.”

Rebecca nodded, she grabbed the plastic bag and went out of the office, Bianca looked at Bunny.

“Is this really what you want? To be with her?”
“I… I guess so.”

Bunny sighed, she looked directly to her.

“I don’t want to tell you that I told you so if something goes wrong.”
“Nothing is going to happen, Buns.”
“That’s what you think, I know Rebecca’s type, if something goes wrong they’re not going to go down with us, they are going to save themselves, not others.” Bunny held her temples. “Be careful, for God’s sake, I don’t want anything bad happening to you.”
“Everything is going to be ok, Buns.” Bianca reassured her again. “You just have to worry about your menopause and not eating whatever shit we have on the cafeteria and you’ll survive your old lady days.”
“I’m not even 32 so shut up or I’ll call immigration!”

Bianca burst in laughter and saw Bunny finally not angry, she Bunny opening her drawer looking for something.

“Please tell me you’re not looking for your stinky sandals.”
“I’m already wearing them, dumb.” She placed some pamphlets in front of her. “We have to talk about your future,since you’re not studying to become a pastor anymore I thought you would like to find another thing to do.” Bianca looked at the pamphlets.
“Are those all in New York?” Bunny nodded. “Why?”
“Bianca, I don’t think your place is here.” Bunny said. “This town is still to close minded for you, you need to go a place where we are free to be ourselves and where you can finally be free to do whatever you want and that place is New York.”
“The greatest city in the world?”
“The greatest city in the world.” Bunny pointed at the pamphlets. “You can attend the AMDA like me or the Queens or Brooklyn college, whatever you prefer.”
“I don’t know, Buns, leave my city, my people… Leaving all behind?”
“I know it sounds crazy but believe me when I tell you that sometimes leaving is the best for us, you’ll find better opportunities there as an actress or better.” She handed Bianca her sketchbook. “As a designer.”

Bianca smiled, she took the pamphlets and the sketchbook in her backpack.
“I’m gonna think about it and I’ll let you know.”
“Better be before the semester ends, after your graduation ends I’m going back to New York and I wouldn’t mind giving you a ride if you decide you want to come with me.”

Bianca nodded and left the office, she went to her locker where her friends were waiting for her.

“How did it go? Is she going to kill you?” Raja asked her.
“Nope, she actually wants to take me with her to New York.” Bianca handed them the pamphlets Bunny had given her.”She wants me study there.”
“Bitch, that’s swell!” Raja said and read the NYU pamphlet while Dela read the one of Queens college. “Are you going, aren’t you?”
“Hey, she just told me like two minutes ago, I haven’t made up my mind.” She opened her locker. “I have to think about it.”

Bianca opened her backpack to put inside her math book when she found a post-it inside the door.

you and me in the dressing room in gymnastics, no one will be there

“It’s Rebecca’s?” Dela asked her.
“Yes, it’s hers.” Bianca took her book and the pamphlets inside the locker.
“What did Bunny told you?” Raja asked her.
“She just told us to be careful, she doesn’t want us to get caught or something.”
“Well duh, no one wants that.” Raja wrapped her arm around her shoulders and Dela held her arm. “Now let’s go eat something, I’m starving.”

----

Bianca waited until everyone was in the gym and miss Michaels closed the door, she went inside and turned on the lights.

“Rebe? Are you here?”
“I’m here, Bianquita.” Bianca placed her backpack in the top of the lockers and walked to the showers, Rebecca was there sitting on the benches. “What happened with Portendorfer? What did she tell you after I left?”
“Nothing important, she just told me to be careful, that we can’t get caught ‘cause something bad could happen.”

Rebecca nodded, she got up and pushed Bianca to sit down on the bench.

“What are you doing?”
“I’m punishing you.”
“What? Why?”
“You’ve been a bad girl, Bianquita, someone knows about us and we were supposed to be a secret.” Rebecca grabbed her by her hair. “But don’t worry, you’re gonna like this.”

Rebecca started kissing her and licking her face, she went down her neck where she knew Bianca liked to be kissed and left another hickey right next to the last one.

“Take off my shirt, Bianca.” Bianca did what Rebecca told her, she took off Rebecca’s shirt and her hands went immediately to her breasts. “No, no, you can see but not touching.”
“Come on, just a little bit.”
“Hmm… Ok, just a little bit.”

Bianca got her hands inside her bra and started massaging her breast, she could feel her skin and how Rebecca’s breath was getting quicker, Rebecca got her hands inside Bianca’s shirt as well.

“Do you want me to…”
“Rebecca girl, come here now!” They didn’t have enough time when the door was burst opened and one of the most obnoxious minion of Rebecca entered the bathroom. “Rebecca come on, what… What the fuck is going on here!?”
“Silky, help me!” Rebecca jumped to her minion’s arms. “She tried to turned me into one of them, into a lesbian!”
“What!? What the fuck!?” Bianca got up and walked to her but Silky was faster.
“No ma’am, you know I'm a church lady and as one I know your type, you’re not getting away with this, now you better leave before I call everyone to fucking kick your ass for touching my good christian friend here!”

Bianca ran away from the bathroom, she grabbed her backpack and gave a last look at Rebecca, she saw her mouthing something to her while Silky was hugging her and brushing her hair with her hands.

“I’m sorry.”

Bianca pressed her lips in a line and mouthed something in return.

“Fuck you.”

And left running with the eyes of everyone fit on her as cried her way out of the gym.

Chapter Text

Dyke
Dyke
Dyke

"Bianca? Bianca! What's wrong?"

I know your type

"Bianca, where are you going?"

I'm sorry

"Miss del Río, go back to your classes. You can't go outside the school, where are you going? Miss del Río!"

Bianca ran pass Principal Rice and went out of the school, she didn't hear the horn of one of the cars when she ran across the street and all the way down the avenue, she couldn't focus on where she was going, she just wanted to escape from there.

She needed to be gone.

Bianca kept running for what it felt like an eternity until her legs failed her and she fell to the cold ground hurting her knees and hands in the process, she looked at the floor and tried to recover her breath.

"It's ok, it's ok, I'm ok."

I'm sorry
Dyke
I know your type

"I'm ok, breathe, I have to breathe." Her breathing was fast, air was going in and out, in and out, in and out; she couldn’t focus, her vision was going blurry and she started to feel very nervous and terrified. “No, I’m not going to-”

It was sudden when nausea hit her, she ran towards a tree and threw up next to it, she hadn’t eaten since last night, she was not even sure what she was throwing up but she was doing it, she felt her body contracting with every wave of fear and every breath she took.

She held herself on the tree and walked a few steps before falling to the ground again, she wiped her mouth clean and looked around to where she was, it was a park and there was no one around, she was alone and for the first time she was grateful for that, she didn’t want anyone to see her like this.

She walked to the swings and got on one, she left her stuff on the ground and looked at the sky.

I'm sorry
Dyke
I know your type

This time she couldn’t stop it, Silky had seen them and Rebecca had made it look like it was all on her, like she was trying to force her to have sex.

A shiver roamed all her body, she didn’t do that, Rebecca had always agreed to do whatever she wanted…

No.

Bianca was the one who had ever agreed to do what Rebecca wanted, she had always done what Rebecca told her, not even what she asked but what she told her to do.
S

he was not the one to blame, she hadn’t done anything bad.

Right?

Bianca took a long breath and kicked a little rock that was on the ground, she did have done something wrong, she had trusted on Rebecca even when people had warned her about her, she hadn’t listened and now she had to pay the consequences. This was happening to her because she had been so naive, so stupid to believe her, to believe someone could really love her.

You’ll never find love being a butch, Bianca, a lesbian is not supposed to find love. You have to find a man or you’ll never be happy.

“No, you’re wrong, mom.” Bianca whispered to herself. “I can be happy by myself, I don’t need no one, I’ll be alone.” She reached for her backpack and took the pamphlets Bunny had given her. “I don’t need you, I don't need this fucking town and I don’t need her.”

She heard a car pulling over, she looked up and saw her friends getting out of Bunny’s car, Bunny was behind them, Raja was the first one to reach her and wrapped her arms around her, then Dela’s and Bunny petted her head.

“Bitch, we were so worried, are you ok?” Raja asked her and held her hands. “Bianca, your hands are bleeding.”
“I’m ok, let go off my hands.”
“No, you’re bleeding.” Dela handed Raja a water bottle and a bandage, Raja bandaged her hands and grabbed her backpack. “Better?”

Bianca shrugged her shoulders.

“You’ll feel better after a cup of coffee.” Bunny said and took her keys. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
“School day is not over.”
“I can give you a pass for the day, remember who you are talking to.” Bunny said as they walked towards her car. “Now get in the car, come on.”

The three girls got in with Bunny, Dela sitting in the front with her and Raja sat in the back with Bianca, she never stopped holding her hand and caressing her palm until they arrived, Dela opened the door for them and went to the kitchen with Bunny to prepare the coffee for all of them while Raja and Bianca sat on the living room.

“Raja, stop holding my hand.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s just weird.”
“You’ve never thought before that is weird.”
“I know but I’m not feeling well to do this corny shit.”

Raja pressed her lips in a tight line but agreed, she let go of her hand and sat in another couch, Dela and Bunny handed them a cup of coffee each and sat along, there was an uncomfortable silence that Bunny ended.

“Ok, something happened after you left and you’re not gonna like it.”
“What was it, Buns?”
“Silvia or Silky, whatever you call her, made a scene.” Bunny said and placed her cup on the coffee table. “We had to stop her, but she had already made a lot of noise about what happened on the bathroom.”

Bianca gulped and nodded to her.

“Everyone thinks that you tried to abuse Rebecca.”

Bianca felt like she was going to throw up again but the vomit just wouldn’t go up her throat, she didn’t have anything else on her stomach for her to throw up, she just rested her back on the couch and tried to digest what Bunny had told her.

Everyone thinks that she tried to abuse her.

“Fucking hell.” Bianca whispered and let her cup on the floor.
“I told her that she is not the person to make those statements since she was not in the room where it happened, only you and Rebecca so she couldn’t speak about something she was not sure of.”
“But?”
“Rebecca said that you did try to abuse her.”

Bianca froze on her spot, she felt her hands going cold and started to feel dizzy, she tried to get up but fell on the try.

“Bianca, wait!”
“I don’t feel so good, I…”
“Bianca!”

----

Bianca didn’t know where she was, she couldn’t move, she tried to open her eyes but the lights were too bright for her.

“She is going to be ok, miss Portendorfer, she collapsed because of stress.” She heard someone who she was not sure who it was. “Has she been under circumstances of extreme stress?”
“Yes, college choosing, and you know that high school can be hell, especially for someone like her.”
“Well, she will have to rest for the day.” She heard the woman from before say. “She needs to drink a lot of liquids and have soft meals, no meat, no spicy food and no food with a lot of condiments. I want her to just rest and lay in bed for the rest of the week, then she’ll be ready to go back to school.”
“Got it, doctor.”
“Miss Portendorfer, I know that they’re almost finished with their school year but if I were you, I’ll consider transfer my daughter from that school, just think about it, we know that your daughter has enough problems there.”

She didn’t hear Bunny’s response, only the door closing.

“Are you awake, Bianca?”

Bianca nodded and covered her head with the blankets.

“Can you turn off the lights?”
“Sure.” Bianca saw through the blanket how the lights went off, she uncovered her head and saw Bunny sitting next to her on the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit.”
“Honest, I like it.” Bunny handed her an apple, Bianca took it gave it a bite.
“Come on.”
“What?”
“Say it. ‘I told you that Rebecca was a bitch and she was not good for you, I told you so’ Say it so you get it out of your system.”
“Even though I’m dying to say it, I’m not gonna do that.”
“Why?”
“I told you before that even a hateful old lady like me knows when to joke about someone, and you.” Bunny pointed at her. “Are not in the best moment to do that.”
“How considerate.”
“I know, right?” She handed her a water bottle. “But we do have to talk.”
“Well, then talk.”
“Things in the school haven’t been the best, after you left Silvia started to rant all over the school about how you tried to abuse Rebecca and since that girl is from the church everyone was believing in what she was saying.” Bianca swallowed the apple and looked at Bunny. “It’s not good.”
“Fuck.”
“Fuck indeed.” She said. “I talked with Santino, Silvia has detention for the rest of the school year for spreading rumors and Rebecca and I had a talk.” Bianca gave her a look and Bunny gave her a sad smile. “It wasn’t a happy talk, the thing is that we got into an agreement; no one is allowed to talk about the incident and Rebecca will deny all of whatever shit people is talking.”
“What about me?”
“We once said that Hurricane Bianca is strong and it will not be taken down by little drizzles like Silvia and Rebecca, did we talk about it or not?”
“We did.”
“So.” She continued. “Today you don’t have to go to school and you have the rest of the week so you can recover from the stress collapse that you had yesterday, on Monday you’ll go and you’ll hold your head up high and you’re not feeling down by whatever shit those idiots say, ok?”
“Ok.”
“I want to hear it with more enthusiasm.”
“I’m not feeling down by whatever shit those idiots say.”
“That’s the spirit!” Bunny said and punched her back playfully. “I gotta go, I have to grade some boring fieldwork reports, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Buns, before you leave.”
“Yes?”

Bianca reached for her backpack that was on the ground and took the pamphlets.

“How would it be if I decide to move to New York and study there?”

----

On Monday Raja was already outside waiting for them when Bianca opened the door, she walked out with Dela holding her hand and saw that Gus was with Raja in the passenger seat, they got in the back and listened to Gus talk about how school had been, it seemed that what Bunny said was true; no one was allow to talk about the incident and when they arrived to the school the first person they saw was Rebecca and she was kissing a guy near to the door.
Bianca felt all of her being stop and freeze at the sight of her kissing that jock, what the fuck was wrong with her? Why was she kissing that idiot?

“I forgot to tell you.” Gus said. “Rebecca got a boyfriend, I guess she did it so everyone would forget about what happened.”
“Bea?” She heard Dela call her name. “Are you ok? Do you want to go back home?”
Bianca shook her head.
“I’m fine.”

They walked inside the school avoiding Rebecca and the jock, they arrived to the lockers and Bianca found hers without anything weird, she opened and this time she didn’t find a note inside, nostalgia hit her but she didn’t want her friends to notice.

“Let’s just go.”

Classes were as usual, boring, the professors were excited since they were near to their graduations and they wanted to do a big party to celebrate, Bianca didn’t care, she was not going, she just looked away and thought about her talk with Bunny; she took the pamphlets from her backpack and looked at the one that had caught her attention the most.

Parsons The New School for Design

“I don’t have to stay here when this is waiting for me in New York.” Bianca whispered to herself, she put away the pamphlet and smiled to herself, this will be the start of something new.

----

“What do you wanna eat?” Raja asked her as she grabbed a tray and passed Bianca one.
“I don’t know, what are they serving today?”
“Rice, beans, apple slices, yogurt and milk.” Gus told them as he grabbed a bowl of rice for him and one for Dela. “Oh, and beef.”
“That’s all?”
“At least thank us you have food.” The lady behind the counter said and handed her a plate with beans, Bianca rolled her eyes and took the bowl.
“I want this shit to be over.” She said, Gus and Dela walked away with their trays to a free table.
“Two more months, Bea.” Raja said and took her tray. “Then we’ll be free to do whatever we want.”

Raja joined Gus and Dela while Bianca finished grabbing her food.

“I’ll fucking leave for good.”

She grabbed her tray and went to join her friends, while she was walking she felt how someone grabbed her blouse and dragged her from behind, she fell to the ground and hit her face with the tray, all the food was over her and around her.

She heard a lot of laughing around, she got up and saw Rebecca’s minions laughing with Silky.

“That was a good one, wasn’t it?” Silky asked Rebecca, Rebecca smiled and nodded. “What are you looking at, Bianquita? I made you a favor, you look good with the beans, frijolera!”

Bianca wiped the food from her face and approached to Rebecca, she tried to avoid her and looked at her minions.

“You’re no going to do something?”
“Why should I?” Rebecca told her without looking at her.
“You know why.”
“No ma’am, we know what you’re trying to do and that ain’t working here.” Silky said from Rebecca’s back. “Leave for good!”

Bianca felt anger taking over her but remembered what Bunny had told her, she took a long breath and looked at Rebecca.

“Say hi to your jock for me.”

She turned around ready to leave when she heard Rebecca’s voice.

“Whatever, dyke!”

She heard people gasping around them and some of them whispering, she turned around again to face her, her hands forming fists.

“What did you just call me?”
“I call you dy-“

Rebecca didn’t get to finish what she was saying, Bianca hit her all across her face and made her tumble, Rebecca touched her lip and saw blood on her fingers, she looked at Bianca and threw her whole body to her making her fall, Rebecca started hitting her and pulling her hair, people were gathering around them howling.
Bianca tried to cover her face from Rebecca’s punches, she hit her back and made her fall, Bianca was the one on top now grabbing her from her hair.

“Didn’t you say you liked when I pulled your hair like this?” Bianca asked her and pulled her hair again. “Didn’t you say you like it!?”
“Girls, stop!”
“Bianca!”

Bianca felt how someone grabbed her shoulders and dragged her away from Rebecca.

“Let me go!”
“This does not help, Bianca!” It was Raja, she was the one dragging her away while Silky was comforting Rebecca.
“Raja, let me fucking go!”
“What is going on in here?” Mrs. Davenport entered the cafeteria, all the people that had gathered around them ran and left them alone. “Care to explain what in the hell happened here?”
“Bianca attacked Rebecca, look at her, she’s crazy!” Silky immediately said.
“She started, she called me dyke!”
“We don’t have time for your lesbian problems, Bianca, you have to leave!”
“Silence, both of you.” The professor said. “Miss Gemini?”
“Someone made Bianca fell when she was walking, then Silky started to make fun of it and Rebecca insulted Bianca, they were teasing her and when Bianca fought back, everything went out of control and-”
“Enough, the four of you.”
“What?”
“Let’s go to the Principal Rice’s office, now.”

----

Principal Rice gave a frustrated sigh and handed each of them a document.
“

All of you will be suspended for the rest of the week.”
“What? The four of us?” Silky asked him, Raja shared a worried look with Bianca.
“But Raja didn’t do anything, professor.” Bianca said interrupting Silky. “She just pulled me away from Rebecca.”
“I already made a decision.” He said and signed the sheets of paper where it said they were suspended. “I’ll send this to your parents to inform them about your suspension.”
“Ha, good luck with that, you tell them hi for me?” Bianca said and rested her back on the chair, Principal Rice shook his head and passed the reports to his secretary.
“You will have to wait for your parents outside of my office, as for you, Miss del Rio.” Bianca gave him a defiant look. “Miss Portendorfer will take you home.”
“But right after this week we have the Spring Break, how are we supposed to deliver our homework and reports?” Rebecca asked him.
“You solve that yourself, now go outside of my office to wait for your parents.”

The four girls went outside, Raja and Bianca sat together away from Silky and Rebecca, Bianca was angry but at the same time she was really ashamed, she had let her emotions control her and that caused Raja to get into trouble as well.

Raja was not talking, she was just looking at her hands in silence, Bianca looked at her friend’s hands as well.

“Do you want to get them permanent tattooed?” She asked her.
“I do, my dad doesn’t want to though.” Raja said and showed her hand to Bianca. “It looks like if I copied Silky and used a sharpie on my hands.”

Bianca laughed and held her hand.

“It does.” She said. “Just promise me to never use sharpie on your brows, you’ll look like a chola from LA.”
“What if you get married with a chola? She’ll do your brows with sharpie too.”
“No! I’ll never do that, the fuck is wrong with you?”

The two friends laughed together, Bianca rested her head on Raja’s shoulder.

“I didn’t want to get you into this mess.” She admitted to Raja. “I feel like my life is always led to shit, I don’t get a thing right.”
“People who have shitty starts are led to have nice stuff in the future.”
“Who said that?”
“My mom but with wiser words, that’s what I understood.” Raja said and squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to be sorry for what happened, I’m not mad, I will always have your man back.”
“You’re the worst.”
“I love you too, friend.”

They saw Silky’s mom in the door, she didn’t look happy at all, Silky swallowed hard when she saw her mother, she grabbed her stuff and followed her mother without saying a word.

Danika was the next one, she said hi to Bianca and talked angrily to Raja in a language Bianca didn’t really understand yet, Raja left with her mom and told her she had to go to work that day.

Rebecca and Bianca were left alone with the secretary, but she didn’t seem to care a lot about them, she was called to the Principal’s office and when she went inside they heard the door clicked closed.

They remained silent for a couple of minutes until Rebecca spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry.

“Hm-mmm.” Bianca murmured and grabbed a book from her backpack; Lord of the flies.
“I’m really sorry.”
“…”
“Bianquita, I’m sorr-“
“Stop saying you’re sorry, you’re stressing me out.” Bianca finally said. “Don’t say sorry when you don’t mean it.”
“I mean it.”
“You don’t.”

Silence reigned again between the two girls, Rebecca was the first one to talk again.

“Bianca, please talk to me.”
“I don’t want to talk with you.”
“You are already talking to me.”
“Good, you got what you wanted, like you always do. Are you happy now?” Bianca put her book down and looked at her, she wished she hadn’t done that, Rebecca had tears on her eyes and that made Bianca feel horrible. “Don’t, don’t do that, I’m not falling for this again.”
“I’m not playing games, Bianquita.”
“You are! You always do this shit!” Bianca yelled to her. “When something does not goes your way, you always do that stupid face and you expect for everything to be better but this does not work anymore!”
“Bianqui-“
“And don’t fucking call me Bianquita, you don’t have the right!” Bianca yelled again and looked away to her book. “Let me alone.”
“Bianquita…”
“Bianca!” Bianca looked at the door and saw Bunny entering with a bunch of reports and exams on her hands. “What happened in the cafeteria?”
“Rebecca happened, Buns.” She grabbed her stuff from the ground. “Can we go?”
“Sure, let’s get going.”

Bianca followed Bunny out but before they were outside, Bianca turned around to look at Rebecca.
“Don’t fucking talk to me ever again, enjoy your jock.”
“Bianca…”

She slammed the door closed.

----

Two months later

Their graduation ceremony had been nice, Bianca had made all of her friends dresses and she had helped Gus with his suit, they took a lot of photos that she’ll develop later, she taped closed the last box with her stuff and carried it outside to the trunk of Bunny’s car.

“Is this the last one?” Bunny asked her.
“It is the last one, Buns.” Bianca said and closed the door, she heard Gus’ car pulling over, Dela and Gus went out of the car and Gus handed her two 20 bills.
“They gave us this for your mattress, they said it was a good one.”
“Thank you, Gus.”

Raja joined them with another box.

“What’s this?” Bianca asked her.
“Some fabrics my mom thought you would like.” Raja said and placed the box on the backseat. “She said you’ll need it.”
“And she’s pretty much right.” Bunny said. “We have to get going, I’ll give you some time to say your goodbyes.”

Bunny walked away with Gus, the three friends looked at each other.

“I guess this is a goodbye.” Bianca said.
“Not a goodbye, just a see you later.” Dela said, she grabbed her hands and Raja’s. “We are always going to be here for you, Bea.”
“Even if you don’t want, I like to fuck around.” Raja said and smiled, Bianca could see that it was a sad smile, she grabbed her friend’s arm and squeezed it.
“I know you do… Don’t tell anyone but I’m actually gonna miss you, guys.”
“Awee Bea!”

The three girls hugged each other, Bianca felt the loving arms of her friends around her and she hugged them back even stronger.

After a couple of minutes they stopped hugging, they heard a barking and saw Gus approaching to them with Marsh.

“Baby!” Bianca kneeled and let the dog lick her face and hair. “You didn’t think I was going to leave without saying goodbye to you? You’re the goodest boy ever.” Marsh barked and rested his paws on her legs. “You are a good boy, a handsome boy and a cute boy, I’m going to miss you a lot.

When she got up she saw Dela sniffing, her friend hugged her again and let some of her tears come out.

“Please call us when you get there.”
“I will.”
“Call us every day.”
“Every day?”
“ Well, maybe not every day but call, don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t.”

They shared a last hug, Dela kissed her cheek and Raja pinched her nose, Bianca got inside Bunny’s car and saw her friends waving goodbye from the outside.

Bunny started the car and Bianca saw her friends becoming little silhouettes until she couldn’t see them anymore.

“Are we feeling ok, Hurricane?”
“I’m not.” Bianca said, she put her seatbelt on and looked at the outside of her window. “I’m going to miss them, I really am.”
“I know the feeling but think about all the possibilities, you’ll have a wonderful new start and you never know, I have the feeling your friendship with those two is strong, is not going to break because of a thousand miles.”

Bianca smiled and nodded.

“And besides.” Bunny handed Bianca her favorite pamphlet. “Parsons is waiting for Hurricane Bianca to hit it.”

Bianca laughed, Bunny was right, not everything in life was bad and she was sure that New York was all that she’ll ever need.

Nothing more than the greatest city in the world and her.

Chapter Text

“Wake up, Bianca, we’re arriving.”

Bianca opened her eyes slowly and looked at Bunny.
“

Why are you looking at me? Look at the front, Hurricane; welcome to New York.”

Bianca looked at the windscreen and opened her mouth in amazement, after so many hours of travelling they were finally there, they were in New York City.
Bianca rolled down the window and peeked her head out; she was finally there, the view of the tall buildings amazed her and how they went all the way up to the sky and met the clouds.

Bianca looked around while Bunny kept driving, as they went into the city it was like getting absorbed by the concrete, the trees and grass that she was used to see disappeared and now everything she saw were buildings and people; there were a lot of people walking and running around, people coming in and coming out of the metro and inside the buildings.

She was amazed by the view of so many advertisements around the city and how all the people there were not amused by those, she was just starstruck by all of the stuff she saw around, even the guy selling hot-dogs outside of the Trump building was interesting.

Bunny smiled when she saw Bianca with so much light on her eyes, she looked like a kid in a candy store, it always filled her heart with joy when she saw her protégés happy after she had saved them from the hell they were living before she found them, she was never going to admit it but she loved it.

“We’re almost in my apartment.” She told Bianca.
“Do you have an apartment?”
“Yes, a few years ago I bought a studio near here, we’ll be there in like 10 minutes.”
“Good.”

Bianca rested her arms on the window and kept looking around, Bunny turned left and parked outside a building in the 10th street.

“Welcome to the Haus of Bunny.”

----

Bianca followed Bunny carrying her suitcases and bags, they had to climb the stairs of five floors until they arrived to the last floor, Bianca was out of breath when they arrived but Bunny seemed ok.

“How are you not dying?” Bianca asked her and sat on the last step. “Five fucking floors, Buns.”
“I’ve been living here for almost 15 years, I’m used to it.” Bunny opened her door and got inside. “What are you waiting for? Come in.”
“Ugh.”

Bianca got up and followed Bunny inside.

“Close the door, please!”

She did it, when Bianca turned around she was surprised by what she saw; the studio was full of gay stuff as her mom would say, Bunny had a rainbow flag hung on her wall and pictures of a latina woman and a black woman next to her flag.

The wall also had a lot of pictures around it, a lot of girls and boys covered in rainbow stuff, some were with Bunny on the pictures and some were alone.

“Who are those, Buns?”
“Who? Oh! The women next to my flag are Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, the moms of the Gay Liberation movement.”
“Were they men?”
“No, Bea, they were women, transgender women and two of the bravest.”
“Wow.”
“And those around are my other protégés, the kids that had lived in my house.”

Bunny started saying their names.

Agnes
Morgan
Brooke
Michelle
José
Lupe
Will
Betty

“Those are all the kids she’s helped.” Bianca head another woman say, she was in the kitchen holding a cup of something hot. “Hi Bunny, it took you a while to come back.”
“Hi! How are you?”

Bianca saw the two women embrace each other from where she was standing, the other woman gave her a look and smiled.

“Who’s the new girl?”
“Oh, this is Hurricane Bianca, just call her Bianca.”
“Nice to meet your Bianca.” The other woman said as she walked to her.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you-“

Bianca was offering her hand but the woman hugged her instead taking her off guard, the big and strong arms of the woman lift her up, surprisingly she didn’t feel weird about it but warm and cozy.

“My name is Latrice.”
“Hi.”

Latrice let her go from her embrace.

“I guess you, little girl, are staying with us for a while. Am I right?”
“As long as she needs it.” Bunny said as she took off her heels and put on a pair of the ugliest sandals Bianca had ever seen. “What?”
“Nothing, it’s just that I don’t really understand this whole house stuff Bunny said, care to explain?”
“A house is a chosen family.” Latrice said. “Normally a gay man, a trans woman or a drag queen is the mother or father of this house, in our case Bunny is our mother.”
“And how does that work?”
“A mother is there to give her children support, love and guidance.” Bunny said. “In my case I always give support to my children, I save them and I guide them through the process of becoming adults, I help them to find their way.”
“And you two are the mothers of the house of Bunny?”
“Kinda like that.” Bunny said. “I moved here in 1979 when everything was hard and I didn’t know shit about life, I was 17 and I only had 20 dollars and a bag of clothes for me to survive.” Bunny sat straight and covered her face with her hands, Bianca got a glimpse of scars all over her hands. “I got kicked out at 17 and well… I didn’t know how to survive until Sylvia stepped in for me, she took me under her wing and helped me to get my shit right, I lived with her and Marsha for a while on their shelter, if it wasn’t for those two I’d be dead today.”
“Buns…”
“But what I wanted to say is.” Bunny shook her head and looked at Bianca again. “Is that thanks to them I could get my degree and my courses on social work and I started my own house but my goal was not in the balls, what I wanted was to help kids to find their way, that’s how I met this big girl, my first child.”
“I ran out of my house when I was 17 as well and I ended up here, I had my life’s savings with me but I wasn’t enough to live in this city, I was doing some bad stuff until Bunny found me, she gave me shelter, food and clothes and got me a scholarship to study gastronomy, I decided that I was going to repay her by staying here and help her with the new children as she travels around the country helping more children to be free to live their truths.”

Bianca didn’t know what to say, the two women had gone through so much in their lives and they were still able to put on a happy face and help others, it was incredible for her.

“The point is that the old bitch is going to help you to accomplish a lot and I’ll do it as well.”
“Just ‘cause I’m five years older than you, it doesn’t mean I’m old!” Bunny said and laid down on the old couch they had on the living room. “But yes, I’m gonna go that.”
“Good to know.”
“But don’t just stay there and look at us, kid! Sit down and grab a chocolate from the bookshelf, let’s talk some more.” Latrice told her, Bianca nodded, she grabbed the chocolate and sat with them. “So, before you two arrived today I already knew some stuff from you, Bunny asked me to do some research for you and send some applications to some universities and Agnes helped us to look for scholarships and everything.”
“What?”
“We sent your applications to the universities Bunny thought you’d do great.”
“You did what?”
“And we have good news!” Latrice took a folder from a backpack that was on the floor and handed to Bianca, Bianca looked at Bunny who nodded. “These arrived today in the morning.”
“Come on, open it up.”

She did and what she found was a letter.

June 1994

Dear Bianca,
On behalf of the Admissions Committee, it is my pleasure to offer you admission to the Alfred University Class of 1994. You were identified as one of the most talented and promising students in one of Alfred University’s most competitive applicant pools ever. Your commitment to personal excellence makes you stand out as someone who will thrive within our academic environment as well as contribute to our diverse community. At Alfred University, you join kindred spirits: scholars, builders, entrepreneurs, and humanitarians. We believe that you and Alfred University are very well matched for each other.

“This is for the class of the Acting degree.”
“The Acting Degree?”
“Yes, you were the one who sent that application letter when you still lived with your parents.”
“And the envelope has my parent’s address… Buns, did you…”
“I didn’t do anything, a little girl left it in Danika’s studio two days before we left, Danika brought it to me and I sent it by mail to Latrice so it would be a surprise when we arrived.”
“Is it too late to tell you that you were also accepted in another university?”
“What!?”

Bianca grabbed the other letter Latrice had.

Dear Bianca,
Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to the class of 1999 of Parsons The New School for Design.
Your dossier application and narrative has convinced us that you have the intellect, energy and talent that this university stands for. Among all the applications that we received, your academic record and personal achievements stood out. We are thrilled to welcome you to the Parsons community and look forward to the contributions that you will make in your campus life.

“What? Oh my God! I… I… Wow, I…”
“I saw you a lot of times looking at the Parsons pamphlet, I did some calls, sent some emails, sent Agnes to talk with the director and this is the result.”
“I…”
“Bunny, she can’t even talk because of the excitement!”
“I’m actually nervous.” Bianca said as she kept reading the letter. “This is unbelievable! I got accepted in Parsons but… I don’t understand, I didn’t send an application for them.”
“I told you we sent it for you.” Latrice said.
“And my ‘academic record’ it’s not the best, I got into a lot of fights this year.”
“That we didn’t add to your academic record, we shouldn’t have done that but Santino didn’t mind, he thought you deserved a better life and he knew that if those reports made it to your record, probably no university would accept you.”
“Wow, I didn’t think Rice would care about students.”
“He does, but he doesn’t know how to show it.”
“But I cannot do that! It’s too much money, I have some savings but it wouldn’t be enough to pay for both universities, even if Parsons accepted me until 99 I’m not able to save enough money for both.”
“Didn’t you hear Latrice? We found a full scholarship for Alfreds and we can get you one for Parsons when the moment comes, it wouldn’t be the first time we do something like that but we’ll only do it if you want to do it.” Bunny said, she got up making Latrice fall from the couch and sat with Bianca. “Do you know what I see when I see you?”
“A dyke?”
“You have to stop accepting that word when someone describes you, it annoys me.”
“What Bunny is trying to say.” Latrice interrupted her while she was getting up. “Is that this is a new start, a new beginning for you and part of this new start is accepting that the word ‘dyke’ is not an adjective to describe you, it’s not even a real adjective and you have to reject that word.”
“She already does.” Bunny said, she was still laying down in the couch eating a bag of chips. “Last time someone called her that, she got into a fight and made the other girl bleed from her lip, I don’t know why she used it this time.”
“Maybe not in that way.”
“Are you kidding me? It was great! Bitch deserved it.”

Bianca looked surprised at Bunny.

“What? I’m not their professor anymore, I get to call them by what they are; bitches.”

Latrice nodded and looked back at Bianca.

“So, what are you?”
“Uhm… a lesbian?”
“Ok, that’s better, now let me tell you what I see in you.”
“Don’t say potential.”
“Potential, and I also see fire and I see eagerness. When I see you, I see someone that can do whatever she wants because she kills whatever thing she puts her focus on.” She grabbed the two letters. “But the decision is yours to make, what do you wanna do?”

Bianca looked at the two letters she had on her hands, she looked them for a long moment.

And she looked back at Bunny.

----

NYC, 1997

Bianca was sitting in front of her sewing machine, she was sewing four dresses in a row while listening to her CD of Rent in the background and singing along to the music.

Find one song
One last refrain
Glory
From the pretty boy front man
Who wasted opportunity

She was almost done with her exams and she just had to deliver those dresses for the final play of her class, she was happy she didn’t get to play a character this time but to be the director of the costumes department again, that was her zone of comfort and she was happy to not step out of it.

“I cannot believe what I heard!” Bunny yelled as she kicked open Bianca’s door, she had a McDonalds paper bag on her hand and a bottle of orange juice in the other.
“What the fuck, Bunny!? You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“You almost gave a heart attack to me! You have a lot to explain, young lady!”
“Yes, hi to you too, Buns.” Bianca said and put a pin in the dress she was sewing. “I had a good day in school but I just slept two hours and a half, I also have to deliver these dresses for tomorrow’s play and I have like three exams, care to pass me that roll of orange fabric so I can finish quick?”
“That’s university life, you wanted this so don’t be a cry baby.” Bunny said. “Now leave that dress alone and pay attention to me.”
“I am paying attention to you and to the dress, spit it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were auditioning for Rent?”

Bianca smiled, she left the dress on the table and turned around to see Bunny, she was still standing in the doorway.

“I only did it because I lost a bet with Agnes but I don’t think I’ll get the role.”
“Are you kidding me!?” Bunny left the food on the couch and approached Bianca, she took a chair and sat in front of her sewing station. “You got this!”
“If I didn’t get the role in my university’s plays what tells you I’ll get this one?”
“You didn’t want the role of that shitty play but I’m sure you wanna be part of Rent.”
“I’m already part of Rent.”
“You made the costumes, the designers are not that remembered.”
“That’s rude.”
“I’m always rude.”
“Touché.”
“Anyways, It’s fucking Rent, who are you auditioning for?”
“Mimi.”
“Mimi!? Oh my God! You’re auditioning for Mimi!? That role is perfect for you!”
“You have to stop yelling, the lady upstairs is gonna complain again.”
“You’ve been living here for five months, she has to be used to me now since I’m always here.” Bunny grabbed a burger from the paper bag and passed one to Bianca. “No pickles as you told me.”
“Nice.”
“But Bianca.” She continued. “What the fuck!? You’re not going to not get the role.”
“I barely understood what you said.”
“You’re gonna be fucking Mimi and the costume director of one of the most popular musicals in Broadway’s history!” Bunny yelled and took a big bite of her burger. “You are the shit and I’m also the shit for getting you in the costume department, good Bunny.”
“You’re putting too much faith in me.” Bianca said, she grabbed the juice from the couch and drank it directly from the bottle. “What if I don’t get it?”
“First, give me the bottle and don’t be gross.” Bunny said and took the bottle from Bianca’s hands, she was the one now drinking from the bottle. “Second, Raven from that weird TV show you like and third; I believe in you because I know you, you can do whatever you want if you put effort and your soul on it.”

Bianca rolled her eyes but smiled.

“Don’t start saying corny shit.”
“Oh my babyyy!” Bunny got up and hugged Bianca. “I’m so proud of you!”

I’m so proud of you!

Bianca smiled again and felt a nod on her throat, she hugged Bunny back and felt how Bunny caressed her hair with her burger.

“You better not leave my hair all greasy from the burger juice.”
“It was already greasy.” Bunny said, she pinched her nose and passed her the juice bottle. “You’re gonna kill it, I know you are.”

They heard someone knocking on the door.
“Can you stop yelling!? We can hear you in the whole building!”

Bianca laughed and took a bite from Bunny’s burger.

“I told you so.”

----

Star in the rising: Bianca del Río, fashion designer and actress
Bianca del Río sells designs to a numerous variety of actresses and actors.
New actress under the lights of Alphabet City, Bianca del Rio takes the role of Mimi Marquez!

“Bianca, Bianca! A word?”
“Sure!”
“What does it feel first working on the costume design of one of the most famous and successful musicals in Broadway and then switching to playing a role in it?”
“It feels great, Kevin, I’m part of an amazing project in this community.”
“Do you think Mimi and you have something in common?”
“Well, we both ran of our homes as teenagers and ended up in New York City, that’s something we both share. Even the fact that we both lived in Alphabet City with our friends, that was kind of mind blowing.”
“Have your parents reached out in the past years to congratulate you on your success?”
“No, next question.”
“Oh! OK...So, why do you think you got the role now that Daphne is leaving?”
“I believe that the casting people saw potential, I think that I can really understand what Mimi went through and portray that on the stage because we went through similar stuff with our families and our lives.”
“And what is really amazing is that you’re already someone kids are looking up to.” The interviewer asked her as he followed her with a lot of reporters behind him. “You’re only 22 and you already were the director of a costume department in a lot of Broadways productions, now an actress in Broadway, not to mention one of the most recalled designers in the biggest city of the world at only 22 and you haven’t got your degree yet! How do you feel about it?”
“Great, I dare kids to try it.”
“One more question, please?”
“Sorry, Kevin, I gotta go.”
“Bianca!”
“Goodbye!”

Bianca walked out of the crowd in front of the theater and joined her friend Agnes from Bunny’s haus.

“Ready to go out for a drink?”
“I’m never been more ready.”

They got on a taxi, Agnes told the driver the address of the bar.

“Thank you.” Her friend sat back with her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “So? Are you excited? You’re gonna be part of something amazing!”
“I know what I’m getting into, I made the costumes.”
“I’m not talking about costumes, Bianca.” She said. “You, my friend, are going to be part of Rent; our little Mimi!”
“I guess it’s cool.”
“It is cool, indeed.” Agnes paid to the taxi driver and got out with Bianca, they walked for a few streets and arrived to the bar, they sat on a little table in a corner and asked for a round of shots. “How are we feelin’ about it?”
“Good I guess.” Bianca took her hair off her face and rested her back on the wall. “I don’t know, I never thought I’d do something like this.”
“But you have an scenic arts degree, you really thought you wouldn’t do it once?”
“I don’t have my degree yet and I only studied it ‘cause I got the scholarship and I didn’t want to waste it, not ‘cause I really wanted, you have a law degree and you’re working in Broadway.”
“First of all, I’m still working here because I’m waiting to be placed in a court around the states, they haven’t tell me yet where I’m gonna go, second; bullshit.” Agnes said, the waiter brought them their shots and some beers, Agnes handed her a beer and took one for herself. “I’ve never known someone as artistic, dramatic and over the top as you.”
“I’m not so over the top, Peps.”
“Oh really? What about the day you arrived to the rehearsals wearing an orange wig and the biggest sunglasses ever that even covered the half of your face?”
“It’s called fashion.” Bianca took a long sip of her beer. “Look it up.”

Agnes started laughing with that characteristic screaming laugh she had, Bianca could even see the piercing Agnes had on her tongue.

“You’re so loud, shut up!”
“Oh really? I am loud? When you laugh you sound like a fucking witch!”
“I do not!”

Bianca heard the door opening and some known voices, she looked to the entrance and saw part of the cast and some of her friends from work.

“Bianca!” Idina ran to her and hugged her, Bianca hugged her back and saw Wilson and Daphne arriving too. “I told you were gonna get it, I told you so!”
“Hi.” Wilson and Daphne hugged her as well. “Guys, what are you doing here?”
“We are here to celebrate, chaparra.” Wilson said and messed up her hair. “Finally Bianca is going to perform on our stage!”
“Oh shut up!”
“Bianca, I’m so happy for you!” Daphne said and jumped excitedly next to Idina. “I always knew that you had it in you, you’re the only person I would have trusted my baby Mimi, I know you’re going to do an amazing job with her and I’m sure Jonathan would have thought the same.”
“Thank you.” Bianca said. “But, who called you? Why are you here?”
“Agnes called us.” Wilson said and grabbed a beer from the table. “She told us to come and celebrate our Bianca is finally hitting the stages.”

Bianca gave him a surprised look and looked back at her friend, Agnes shrugged and smiled.

“You deserve this, baby.”
“So.” Idina said and grabbed a beer. “I’d like to make a toast.”
“Idina, no.”
“Idina, yes.” Idina smiled. “To Bianca, we hope that next week when you have your opening night, you enjoy it ‘cause we know that it’s going to be no day but that day, to Bianca!”
“To Bianca!”

She couldn’t help it, she smiled and joined the toast.

Maybe Idina wasn’t right, but maybe she was.

----

Bianca walked out of the elevator and opened the door of her apartment, she took off her shoes and left her keys and coat on her couch with the rest of her stuff, she saw a wine bottle on the floor and grabbed it.

“Cheers to me.”

She took a long sip and sat next to her coat on the couch.

You’re already someone kids are looking up to.

“I don’t get it.” She said in a whisper. “What do these kids look up to? I don’t understand.”

Kevin was right, she had done something so fucking hard in three years; she was the director of a costume department for a lot of plays, not only Rent and had also designed for a lot of celebrities and she hadn’t even gotten her degree yet.

“Kids are crazy.”

She finished drinking her bottle and grabbed another one from under her couch.

After living a few years with Bunny and Latrice, Bianca had decided that she wanted to live by herself, she got an apartment in the 63rd street and she’d like to say that she was adapting to living alone pretty well but she would be lying to herself; she was used to always be with someone, to the noise and constant movement, and now that she was living alone, everything was silent, completely silent. In her parents’ house there was always the noise of her siblings ranting and her mom yelling or even her dad playing his guitar; in Dela’s house she could always hear Dela and Gus talking, Benjamin singing in a very low voice while he was cooking or the noise of Marsh’s nails on the floor when he was running around the house.

It had been three years and she was still not used to it, but it was okay, one day she would be.

For now it was just her and a bottle of wine for the rest of the night.

----

It was it, the time had come for her to portray Mimi, they said her name while presenting the cast and people cheered, they were ready to see her, but what if she did all wrong? What if she forgot her lyrics or her choreography? People were there to see a good Mimi and she felt she was not good enough for that.

She was sitting in a corner with Adam by her side.

“I gotta go on stage now, Bea.” He whispered to her and grabbed the guitar. “Don’t be nervous, you’re gonna do great.”
“Thank you.”
“And you look great, wanna have a hot date?”
“I already told you I’d date Idina first.”
“I know, but I made you smile.” Adam squeezed her shoulder and winked to her before entering the stage. She rolled her eyes and followed him to the stage, she climbed to the metal structure while Anthony started the prologue.

December 24th, nine PM
Eastern Standard Time
From here on in
I shoot without a script
See if anything comes of it
Instead of my old shit

Adam looked at her standing in the metal structure and gave her a coquette look, Bianca knew that Adam was now in character so she had to be as well, she smiled to him and sent him a kiss, Wilson who was standing next to her gave her a slight punch in her arm, Bianca only smiled and kissed his cheek.

First shot: Roger
Tuning the Fender guitar
He hasn't played in a year

This won’t tune

Bianca danced a lit bit on the metal pole and put on a sad face when Adam said the guitar wouldn’t tune.

So we hear
He's just coming back
From half a year of withdrawal

Are you talking to me?

Not at all

Are you ready? Hold that focus, steady
Tell the folks at home what you're
Doing, Roger...
I'm writing one great song-
The phone rings!
Saved!

Speaaaaak

The crowd laughed as they heard Mark’s mom voice mail and they continued to say Maureen had dumped him and that Benny was coming to collect rent.

She heard the beat of their first song and took a long breath.

Here we go.

She turned on her microphone and followed Wilson under the lights.

----

Mimi, I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
Who don't adhere to deals

Bianca sat with Adam in the table and gave him condescending looks.

They make fun, yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's

A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

Anthony hit the table and started singing.

Dearly beloved
We gather here to say our goodbyes
Dies irae, dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal veyitkadash

Bianca looked at the crowd and saw Bunny and Latrice in the middle rows, both of them smiled to her and gave her thumbs up, Bianca smiled and continued with the song.

Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth

In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass
You bet your ass, to
La vie Bohème

Wilson went to join her and gave her a pinch on her butt.

La vie Bohème

Bianca spanked him and started their times on the tables.

La vie Bohème
La vie Bohème
La vie Bohème

----

For someone who longs for a community of his own
Who's with his camera, alone?
I'll call
I hate the fall

Adam looked where Bianca was standing making the people on the public gasp, Bianca was sure she heard someone say gasp.

You heard?

Every word

Bianca and Adam continued singing their part, as it was written in the scrip Bianca tried to hold Adam, he tossed her hand away and ran out of the stage making her fall, Anthony helped her up, she tossed his hands and walked a few steps to the spot where Adam had left.

Goodbye love, goodbye love
Came to say goodbye love, goodbye
Just came to say goodbye love
Goodbye love, goodbye love
Goodbye love, hello… Disease

Bianca ran off in the opposite direction Adam had ran, she found him in the wing getting changed when Bianca went out of the stage.

“Oh my God, Bianca, are you ok? I didn’t mean to make you fall!”
“I’m ok, Adam, and you have to go back to the stage now.”
“Let me invite you a beer to show you I’m sorry!”
“An apology is quite enough!”

Bianca ran to her changing room and put on her next costume, the make-up lady repainted her face making her look sick and pale, she looked at the mirror of Agnes and saw a lot of pictures and notes from her family, her mom had sent her a lot of card she had pinned in the mirror.

“What’s the matter, sweetie?”
“Nothing, I’m just overwhelmed.”
“For being your first time in a Broadway stage, you’re doing pretty well.” The lady said and helped her up. “Now rush back to the stage, your next song is starting.”

Bianca sat in the wing with Agnes and Idina waiting for their cue to enter the scene, Bianca smiled when Louis talked about the ATM code, they entered with Agnes carrying her to the stage, Adam sang his song to Mimi as she played dead.

She waited for a few seconds and got up again.

“I was in a tunnel heading for this warm, white light and I swear, Angel was there and she looked good!” Louis smiled and squeezed her arm. “She said ‘Turn around, girlfriend and listen to that boy’s song.”

Adam smiled, he hugged her and kissed her forehead as Anthony started singing the last song.

There is no future
There is no past
Thank God this moment is not the last

Bianca joined him in the song.

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret or life is yours to miss
No other road no other way
No day but today

They started singing along the lyrics of the last song, Adam hugging her as Anthony started projecting Mark’s movie in the wall, all the other cast members walked in the corners of the stage.

Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

They all got together under the lights and waited for Wilson to join them.

There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way

No day but today!

The song ended and all of the audience got up and started clapping, Bianca could hear the super loud voice of Latrice and Bunny screaming her name, Adam and Agnes hugged her and kissed their cheeks.

Bunny was right, this was good.

----

“Bianca!” Bunny ran to her and wrapped her arms around her shoulder lifting her up from the ground. “You did amazing, a-ma-zing!”
Latrice and the other kids of the haus joined them and hugged them.
“Bianca, you were amazing! Thank you for getting us tickets!” Morgan told her. “I thought I never would be able to see this play.”
“Us too!” Betty said. “Agnes was never able to find us tickets.”
“You know I helped her, right?”
“Yeah, sure.”

Bianca laughed, the kids went outside of the theater with Bunny while Latrice went with her and Agnes to their changing room.

“You girls did amazing.” She said, they closed the door and took their clothes from their backpacks. “I haven’t cried like this since I read that new wizards book.”
“Harry Potter.”
“That one.” Latrice helped Bianca to take off her microphone. “How are we feeling?”
“Great!” Agnes said, she changed her blouse and put on a red lipstick. “I’m going out with Alexis tonight, don’t wait for me awake.”
“Sure, be home before five.”
“Bye!”

Agnes took her purse and ran out of the room, Bianca shook her head and changed her costumes to her normal clothes, she wiped her face clean and put her hair in a bun.

“You’re not feeling as well as I thought you’d feel after your first Broadway performance.” Latrice said, she was drinking one of the water bottles the producers had given her.
“Why are you saying that?”
“Before we went to the wings I saw that a lot of the people from the cast had their families there congratulating them and hugging them.” She paused for a little bit, Bianca didn’t say a word, Latrice continued. “Giving them flowers and you were alone in a corner.”
“I didn’t want to interrupt them.”
“You may be good at acting but you’re not good at lying.” Latrice got up and walked to Bianca’s mirror where she was putting on her normal make-up. “You’re missing your parents, aren’t you?”

Bianca sighed but shook her head.

“No, three years ago I said that I didn’t need her, I didn’t need her then and I don’t need her now.” Bianca put her lipstick away on her bag. “End of the story.”
Latrice rolled her eyes, she put her hand on Bianca’s shoulder.
“Do you want to go for a milkshake in the dining I work? It opens 24/7.”
“Sure.”

They walked out of the theater and grabbed a taxi, they arrived to the dining and sat in the farthest corner, Latrice said hi to the waitress, she wrote down their order and left them alone.

“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Come on, it’ll make you feel better.”
“No, Latrice, I don’t want to.” Bianca said, the waitress served them their milkshakes and left again. “My mom took her decision years ago and I’m not going to discuss with her again, she knows I’m playing a character in Rent and she knows I’m getting my degree next semester but she does not give a fuck, so I won’t give a fuck.”
“I believe you do give a fuck.” Latrice said, she pointed at her with her straw. “How does your mom know?”

Bianca looked away.

“Bianca?”
“I sent her a letter, I called her to tell her what I’m doing but I didn’t get a response.”

Latrice nodded, she made a sign to the waitress and looked back at Bianca.

“Hey, it’s ok for to care.”
“But she doesn’t.”
“Then she is the one making a mistake, not you.”
“It doesn’t feel like that.”
“I know it does not but at the end of the day who’s missing all this amazing stuff you’re doing is her. If you wanna know, my dad is like that, he kicked me out because I didn’t want to follow his stupid rules, my mom didn’t do anything to defend me, I haven’t heard from them in years.” Latrice looked down to her shake. “I’ve tried to reach out but they changed their phone numbers and I always get the letters back, they don’t even read them but I’ve tried to and that’s what matters.”

Latrice made another sign, the waitress came back and placed a plate of eggs and bacon that looked like a happy face.

“Put on a happy face, Bianca, enjoy your life as a New Yorker, the ones who losing is them, not you.”

Bianca smiled, she grabbed a fork and took a bite of the eggs.

“This shit is good.”
“Like you!”
“I’m sure you’ll have your own dining one day.”
“Let’s hope so.”

----
Bianca opened the door of the apartment and went to her room, she put on her pajamas and checked the messages on her phone.

You have three new messages, message one:

“Hey gorgeous, it’s Cleo again, I wanted to know if you would like to go out again, that night with you was great and I would like to repeat it, are you down? Call me.”

Bianca rolled her eyes, it was the third time this week she called, she didn’t understand indirect messages.

Message two:
“It's John, please tell Bernadette, I need her to come to the office tomorrow at midday.”

Message three:
“This is Tony, stop calling Bianca, we’re not going to your stupid aids play; stop trying.”

Bianca was caught off guard, she repeated the last message a lot of times.

“They’ve heard my messages… AHH!”

Bianca threw the phone away, she saw the phone on the ground and smashed it with a high heel boot.

“He fucking knew!” She saw the phone reduced to pieces, she sat and rested her back on her bed trying to hold back her tears, she started whispering to herself. “They don’t give a fuck about me, I don’t give a fuck about them… They don’t give a fuck so I don’t give a fuck.”

She heard a knock on her window, she wiped her eyes and went to the window.

“Is someone there?”
“Yes! My name is Liam."

Bianca opened the window and found a guy sitting in the staircase.

“Hi, sorry for interrupting your night but you’re Bianca del Río, right?”
“Yes, I am, why?”
“Don’t think I’m like a stalker or anything, a friend of mine told me you’re a very good seamstress and I’m looking for someone to design the costumes of the play we’re working off Broadway, are you interested?”

Bianca smiled.

“Didn’t you have a better time than one in the morning in my window?”
“What better time, don’t you think?”

----

Bianca graduated from Alfreds in 98 with an honoring mention, when she went to the stage to receive her diploma all of the haus were on the audience cheering up and taking pictures.
“Is that your family?” Her tutor asked her as he shook hands with her.
“Kind of, does it show?”
“A little bit.”

Bunny took a picture of them and hung it on her wall.

Bianca finished her curtain as Mimi and continued working on Broadway, she played a lot of roles and designed so many costumes for so many plays she had lost count.

As she studied her second degree she made a name for herself in New York, then she made her name famous in the US and even overseas.
Could this finally be her happy place?

Chapter Text

New York, july 7th of 2005

Bianca parked her car and put on her sunglasses, she looked at he reflection, you couldn’t see her eyebags with these on even if you tried to. She grabbed her coffee and bag to get in the elevator to the 23th floor, today she had a lot to work on and she had stayed until late helping Bunny with her luggage for her work stay in California, Bunny was leaving today and she still had a lot of stuff to pack, Bianca had driven her to the airport after helping her packing and then drove back to her studio on time.

“I’m so good at everything, bitches wish.”

She arrived to her floor and saw her new assistant waiting for her.

“Good morning, Courtney.”
“Good morning, Bianca, how did it go? Did you arrive on time?”
“Of course we arrived on time, who do you think I am?”
“Just checking, Bianca.” Courtney said and followed her inside her office.
“What do we have for today?”
“Well, we have to deliver the finished dresses to Angelina Jolie’s assistant in an hour, Miss Fleur comes today at midday for the fittings, Mr. Deep comes at two for his tuxedos and Marco is arriving in half an hour with his protege.”
“Nice.”
“Oh, I almost forgot.” Bianca sat on her chair and took the papers Courtney handed her. “Miss Gemini called, she said that she wanted to talk about something important with you.”
“She said that?”
“Yes.”
“And why she didn’t say that before, she always does this shitshows of not telling me anything.” Bianca took off her sunglasses and looked at Courtney. “I’ll call her in a minute, go and please check my emails and when Marco arrives, tell him to come in.”
“Of course.”
“Thank you, Courtney.”

Bianca opened the drawer of her desk and grabbed the hot cheetos Bunny had given her, she ate a bunch of them and dialed Raja's number on her phone.

“Karma Studios, Danika speaking.”
“Danika, hello, it’s Bianca.”
“Bianca! What a nice surprise! How are you, my dear? I haven’t heard from you for a while.”
“I’m fine, I’ve been working a lot since we last saw each other.”
“I remember, we went to see you last year in Wicked, you looked so good even with green skin!”
“Right?” Both women laughed, Bianca took a sip of her coffee and turned her chair around again. “It’s Raja around?”
“Yes, let me go get her, it was nice to hear from you, tell Dottie I said hi.”
“Of course!”

After a few seconds she heard how they picked up the phone again.

“Bianca?”
“Hey bitch, it’s me. Courtney told me you called.”
“Yes, wicked witch of the east, how are you? Did you have breakfast yet?"
"I ate Cheetos and had a coffee, a winning breakfast."
"No fucking way, Bianca Maria, you didn't have that for breakfast."
"What?"
"You're almost 30 and you had Cheetos for breakfast, for breakfast? I cannot believe it!" Bianca could her fake gasp and someone laugh in the back.
"Who's laughing?"
"... No one, just the TV."
"Sure thing, queen." She ate the last Cheeto and started doing her make-up. "So, what did you wanted to talk about?"
"Did you received a letter from Dela and me on the mail?"
“Nope, I haven't received my mail in a while, don't know what happens with the postman.”
“Fucking hell, well, don’t worry ‘cause I’m here to tell you, guess who’s getting married!”

…

Rebecca.

Was it Rebecca? Rebecca with her jog?

“...Bianca, are you there?”

Bianca shook her head, she put her glasses on her desk and rubbed her eyes.

“Yes, sorry, no.” Bianca grabbed her brush and started doing her favorite eyeshadow moment, she felt her hand shaking a little. “I don’t know, who’s getting married?”
“Dela and Gus are getting married!”

Thank God, it’s just Dela and Gus.

…

Dela and Gus!?

“Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hold your horses, Raja! Did you just say they’re getting married now? Until now? They have not gotten married yet!?”
“Nope, Gus was waiting for Dela to get her masters in pediatrics and now that she got it, Gus immediately showed up on Dela’s house to ask her dad for permission to get married with her.”
“Aweee, that’s so fucking corny and disgusting.”
“I knew you would say something like that.”

“But I wish I had been there to see it.” Bianca said, she put her brush down and grabbed her liner. “I’m sure Dela cried.”
“In fact, she did.” Raja remained silent for a while, Bianca could hear her whispering something but she couldn’t get what she was saying, it was like she covered the phone with her hand. “I would have had someone to get drunk with, I just sat on the floor with a bottle of vodka and hugged a pillow.”
“You miss me, bitch?”
“Like hell, fucking ass! Seeing you once or twice a year is not the same as when we were teens, sometimes I would like to drive around smoking weed while you drink beer on the copilot seat like the old times.”

Bianca smiled, she got up from her chair with the phone on her hand.

“I miss those times too, putting aside all the shit that I was going through during that time, being with you two was the best.”
“The old lady wants to cry.”
“For once in my life I show emotion to you and you make fun of me, fucking rude bitch!”
“Oh, don’t be a drama queen! This is not Broadway, Bianca!”

She laughed and sat back on her chair, she grabbed her fuschia lipstick and painted her lips in a perfect smile.

“Raja, you only wanted to tell me about the wedding or is there something else?”
“There’s something else! Dela wants you to design her wedding dress, are you down?”

Bianca was caught off guard when Raja asked her that, she let her lipstick fall to the ground as Raja told her what Dela had asked her to tell her.

Design her best friend’s wedding dress was the dream of every designer and Bianca was not the exception.

“Tell her that I said yes, I obviously want to do it!”
“Are you even down to come all the way to Louisiana to do that? For the design?”
“Going to Louisiana? What? What do you mean?”

Bianca had thought that Dela would be the one to come to New York for the design and fitting, Bianca had her studio here, not there.

“Yes, you know that Ben hasn’t been so well, that’s why Dela didn’t go with us to see you last time.”
“Oh… I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, that’s why we were wondering if you could come, if you can’t I’d be on charge of her dress and-”
“Never, that dress is mine.”
“What?”
“Tell Dela I’m down, I’ll go there to make that dress myself because that's my speciality, not yours to get a dress like that and I don’t want you to mess up.”
“Bitch!! You are mean!”
“But you didn’t say I was wrong.”
“I’m going to make Gus’ tuxedo, so we’ll see, you hear me?”

Bianca saw the door of her office open and Courtney pop out her head.

“Bianca, Mr. Marco is here.”
“Tell him to come in.” Bianca put her make-up away and grabbed back the phone. “Raj, I have a business meeting, I’ll call you later.”
“Rude.”
“You are the rude one.”
“Love you, see you soon.”
“Gross.”

----

“I’m so fucking stupid.”

Bianca threw herself to her bed and took off her heels, after her meeting with Marco and the deliveries of her designs all of the adrenaline from saying yes to Raja was gone and she had started to feel anxious.

She had agreed without thinking about it.

So many years escaping from her hometown, so many years escaping from her past to going there again like nothing had happened.

She was so goddamn stupid.

She grabbed her makeup wipes and wiped clean her face, she put on a pair of jeans and an old shirt she had on her closet, she went to her kitchen and started cooking herself a plate of whatever was on her fridge.

Fuck.

What was she thinking? She couldn’t go back there, she would have to see her family and her stupid brother, what if she ran into Rebecca? No, she couldn’t do all of that again.

“Bianca!”

Bianca jumped from the screaming coming from her window, she turned around and saw one of the Bunny haus kids on her window.

“Fucking Soleil.” She let her inside as she held a hand on her chest. “Bunny didn’t tell you to call before or at least to use the fucking door, holy shit.”
“Oh, don’t be a pussy.” The girl said and sat on the edge of the window. “Lupe told me to bring you this.”
“What?”
“Some mail that was lost, the dude that Jose likes from the mail brought it in the morning, it seems he had forgotten to bring it to the house.”
“Fucking stupid.”
“I know, that postman is such a goof.”
“Not him, you.”
“Why me?”
“For scaring me, I feel like my heart is going to come out of my chest.”
“Don’t be a pussy, Bea!”
“Hey, language!”
“You’re the last person with the right to tell me anything about language.” Soleil grabbed an orange from Bianca’s fruit bowl and got out of the window again. “Oh, before I forget it, that lady from the club the other night called again looking for you, stop giving our number to strangers you fucked, it’s annoying when they call looking for you!”
“I don’t have a house phone.”
“Get one then!” Soleil got out and started running down the stairs.
“Be careful, you’re not spiderman!”
“I’m always careful, see you on saturday!”

Bianca turned off the stove and instead grabbed an apple, she sat on the couch and looked through the envelopes Soleil had given her.

“Shit, shit, shit, look through all this shit.” It was pretty much only some magazines and some other invitations to parties that had already happened. “Such a waste of paper.”

She threw all of the mail to the trashcan but as she was walking back to the kitchen she spotted a pink envelope.

To: Bianca del Río
From Delilah de la Creme

“This must be the letter Raja told me about.”

She took it and sat back on her couch, she opened the envelope and started reading it.

My dear friend

It’s been such a long time since the last time we saw each other, the day Latrice left for California, I remember you looked so sad and were trying very hard not to cry.
But that’s not what I wanted to talk about in this letter.

Gus and I are getting married soon! I wanted to marry that baby boy since we graduated high school but he didn’t let me, he was like ‘Oh nooo, we gotta study first!’ I believe we could have studied as we were a married couple but you know him, when he gets into an idea it’s very difficult to get him out of it.

Anyways, I tell you this because I want to ask you a favor, I would like to have my bestie to design my wedding dress, I’ve seen your work through the years since you started and I’ve always knew I wanted you to design my dress.<br />

I understand if you don’t want to come back to do it, I don’t want to force you into anything.

Call me when you decide it.

Love, Dela xoxo

----

“What else did you expected from Dela, Huracan?”
“I don’t know, Buns.” Bianca said, she looked behind her and saw her neighbour Jackie ,who had lended Bianca her phone so she could talk with Bunny, sitting on the floor playing with a chihuahua. “I don’t know what to do.”
“And you want me to tell you what to do?”
“To help me making a decision, actually.”
“Why didn’t you call Latrice instead?”
“Bitch, Latrice can give some good advices but the one that knows Dela its you, not her. Who can help me with the decision its you, you know how things are back there.”
“Yes, I know that, just give me a sec…”
“What?”
“...”
“Buns?... Ugh.”
“What’s up, Bianca?” Jackie rolled in front of her in an office chair she had on her kitchen, the dog was curled on her lap as she approached Bianca. “What did mama tell you?”
“She told me to wait.”

Both women remained silent for a minute, Jackie put the dog on the floor and rolled back to her kitchen.

“Would you mind if I asked you something?”
“It depends, what do you want to ask me?”
“Why are you so scared of going back to your birth town?”
“I’m not scared.” Bianca saw Jackie giving her a look from behind her glasses. “I’m not scared, don’t give me that look.”
“Sure, miss thing.” Jackie poured two mugs of coffee, she rolled back to Bianca and handed her one. “Come on, I won’t reveal that the scary Bianca actually feels fear of something.”

Bianca shrugged and took a long sip of the hot coffee.

“I had a lot of problems with my family, I had to leave when I was 19, sometimes I feel that if I hadn’t left I probably would not have lived past my twenties.”
“Wow… That’s sounds really tough.”
“It was, indeed.” The chihuahua jumped to the couch and curled next to Bianca, she petted her head and took another sip of coffee.
“How did you get over that?”
“I haven’t gotten over it 100%, but in the moment I had some friends that helped out, one of them gave me a room on her house so I could stay with her, the other one dragged me out of my depression, literally dragged me to a party once.”
“And Bunny?”
“She helped me as my tutor in school, then she helped come here and with my two degrees.”

Jackie smiled.

“Bunny is such an angel.”
“But don’t tell her, she will never admit it outloud.”
“We agree on that.”
“Hey, I am not an angel!”

Both women burst on laughter, Jackie held her dog and sat next to Bianca.

“Did you finally think on something?”
“Well yeah, obviously, who do you think I am? A clown?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?”
“No, shut up and listen.” She heard Bunny say. “I would say that you should go.”

Jackie looked at Bianca.

“Buns-”
“Nope, let me finish.” Bunny said. “Dela was the first friend to lend you a hand when you needed it, I believe that the best way to repay her is helping her with her wedding dress, and besides you get to spend some time with her and Raja too.”
“Yeah, but… What if ran into mom, dad or Tony… What if I ran into Rebecca, Buns?”
“You ignore them, you walk pass them with your head high and spend time with your friends, you don’t need to spend time with those assholes that used to call themselves your close relatives, that’s it.”
“But-”
“No buts, Bianca, I did not raise a bitch, you hear me?” Bunny kept saying. “Go and have a nice time with your friends, then come back and keep living your life, nothing bad can happen while you’re there. What do you think is going to happen if you? The floor is going to open and you’ll be dragged to hell? Don’t be fucking dramatic.”
“And what if it goes badly?”
“Then you call me and I take the first flight there to help you out, what do you think?”

Bianca remained silent for a while, she felt Jackie’s finger doing circles on the back of her hand.

What to do? What to do? What to do?

“Do you promise, Buns?”
“Of course, when have I lied to you?”

Jackie squeezed her hand and rested her head on her shoulder.

“Then, I’ll go, thank you so much Buns, you really are a lifesaver.”
“We’ve been knew, bitch.”

Bianca hung up the phone and rested her back on the couch, she took a long breath and smiled.

“I’m getting inside the wolf’s mouth.”
“I believe you need a stress relief, Bianca, don’t you think?”

Bianca felt Jackie’s hand on her leg, she put her hand on hers and looked at her.

“I…”

----

“Is this the last suitcase, Bea?”
“Yes, this is the last one.”
“How much time are you staying over there?” Courtney asked her as she passed her the sketchbooks and fabrics she would need.
“Two months, I’ll keep working on some work that I already have and you will be working along Marco and Tyra.”
“I don’t want to be shady, Bianca, but Tyra is too young and I don’t think she has what it takes to work with us.”
“Don’t underestimate her, young girls can give us a surprise.”
“Bea, why is that woman from your floor looking at us?”

Bianca looked up and saw Jackie standing on her window holding her dog, Bianca looked away and closed the trunk of her car.

“Pay her no mind.” She said. “Soleil, do you have what I asked you to buy?”
“Yes.” Soleil opened her backpack and handed her a little box with a card. “This is the best phone they had and this is your phone number, I already registered all of our phone numbers including Courtney’s in it.”
“Perfect.” Bianca put the phone on her purse and put it on the passenger’s seat.
“Bianca, don’t you think it would be better if you took a flight there instead of going by car?” Courtney asked her. “I believe it would be more comfortable like that.”
“You’re right on that, but the truth is that I need time to think and I’m not having that if I go by plane.”
“Good point.”

Soleil jumped and wrapped her arms around her, Bianca smiled and petted her head, she handed her a hundred and squeezed her hand.

“Good look with college prep.”
“Thank you, I’ll do like you, I wanna be you.”
“Think about that twice, kiddo.”
“I already did it, old.”

Bianca looked at Courtney.

“I leave everything to you, whatever question you have don’t doubt on calling me.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll call.”

Bianca got up on her car and started her car, she waved goodbye to Soleil and Courtney and as she started driving and left the tall buildings and started driving surrounded by trees and less cars she started getting nervous.

She was really doing this, she was going back to her birth town, she had escaped and now she was going back there.

“I went nuts, fuck.”

Chapter Text

After driving for two days Bianca had finally arrived, she stopped in front of the “Welcome to New Orleans” sign, her hands were tight on the wheel as she looked at the road in front of her.

She was there, she was back, she was back in her personal hell.
“Come on, you’ll be here only for a while, don’t be a pussy.” She told to herself.

Bianca started her car again and drove back to the road, at the beginning she was scared she may not remember how to drive around her city but it hadn’t change a lot, it was almost the same as when she had left, the stores and houses around were the same, people as well, it had been eleven years since she had been there for the last time and the town hadn’t changed a lot.

She parked in front of a coffee shop she used to spend time with Raja and Dela when they were on middles school, when she got down from her car she saw that it wasn’t a coffee shop anymore, it was a 7-eleven.

“I guess it had changed a little.”

She bought a dollar coffee and crossed the street to the park, Bianca sat on one of the benches and gave a look to the park; she had spend so many afternoons here when she was a little girl, the air in her face and the sound of birds around her didn’t feel like home but familiar. She let herself enjoy the silence that she couldn't enjoy in New York, it was calm until she heard a scream.

“Let me alone!”

Bianca lowered her cup.

“Look at you all stupid wearing a tutu and a tiara, what are you? The princess of stupid?”

Bianca looked at the swings and saw a girl pushing another one to the ground, the tiara the little girl was wearing fell to the ground and the other one stepped on it breaking it into pieces.

“You’re so ugly, ugly girls don’t deserve a crown.”
Bianca had had it, she threw her cup in a trashcan and walked towards the girls.

“Hey, it’s enough!” The taller girl looked at Bianca. “What on earth is wrong with you?” Bianca kneeled and helped the little girl to get up. “The bully look is not good for you, what on earth this little girl did to you?”

The girl didn’t say a thing, she looked away and ran from the park leaving Bianca alone with the little girl.

“Fucking bullies, I hate them.” Bianca looked at the little girl, her tutu was full of dirt and it was tore on the side.
“You said a bad word.”
“I know I did, don’t say bad words, only grown ups can say them.” Bianca helped her to clean her dress. “Are you ok, little girl?”

The little girl looked away and shook her head, Bianca knew that look, it was the look she had had on her eyes for many years. She grabbed her small sewing kit from her purse and looked back at the girl.

“I’m going to sew this back together, do you mind?” She shook her head and lift her hand to give Bianca space, Bianca took the needle with the red threat and started doing an invisible fixing on it. “I’d tell you I’d like to give you a ride but little girls shouldn’t accept rides from strangers.” Bianca said, she cut the remains of the threat and looked at her work. “Look, it doesn’t show.” She noticed the girl was not looking at the fixing, instead she was looking at her directly, Bianca looked at her back. “Do I have something on my face?”

She shook her head and grabbed a bumblebee backpack that was laying on the sand.

“Thank you, miss I gotta go.”

Bianca looked how the girl ran away, she knew that girl had bigger issues, she could see it on her eyes, that girl reminded her of herself when she was younger; she looked alone and scared, she got up and went back to her car, she needed to arrive to Dela's house.

As she drove around she couldn’t take the little girl off of her mind, was she ok? Was she going to be ok?

Well, she got ok, then this girl would be too.

----

“Dela, can you stop being a maniac? You’re stressing me out.”

Raja layed down on the couch and helped Marsh to get on top of her, the dog rested its head on Raja’s stomach and fell asleep as Dela walked from side to side biting on her nails.

“She hasn’t called, what if she got lost?”
“She lived here for 19 years, she is not going to get lost, the town hasn’t changed a lot, you know?”

Dela heard the door open, she peeked her head and saw her fiancée arrive.

“Did you miss me, babe?” Dela rolled her eyes and sat on her couch. “Wow, so much energy.” He sat with her and rested his head on her lap. “What’s wrong, Dela baby?”
“She is stressed out because Bianca hasn’t arrived.” Raja scratched Marsh’s ears.
“Baby, she is going to be ok, you don’t need to worry about her.”
“You say it like I’m going to listen to you two.”

They heard someone knock on the door, Dela got up and ran to the door, after a few seconds she came back with two boxes of pizza.

“Really? Who ordered pizza?”
“That was me.” Raja said and handed Dela her wallet. “Tell the guy to keep the change.” Dela paid the boy and placed the boxes on the coffee table, she passed Raja a slice and grabbed one for herself.
“This is stupid.”
“Hey! Babe, you never say bad words!” Gus slapped her hand and made her lay down on his lap. “Don’t stress out, Bianca is going to be ok, she is arriving any time now.”
“It’s not that what is stressing me out, I know she knows her way around but what if 'you know who' comes around and Bianca is not here? What are we going to tell her?”
“She has ballet classes, and besides she said that she wasn't coming until we told her Bianca was here.”
“And when is going to be that?"
“I don’t know, when she arrives."

They heard someone opening the door, Dela closed her eyes and took another bite of the slice.

“I thought when I arrived, I’d receive a warmer welcome.”

Dela got up and look at the door, Bianca was standing there wearing the biggest sunglasses she had ever seen and holding a suitcase with her left hand.

“Bianca!” Dela got up and ran towards her friend, she wrapped her arms around her. “How are you? Oh my God, you look so good!”
“I’m fine, sorry I arrived this late, I had a situation when I arrived.”
“A situation?” Gus joined them and hugged Bianca. “Do we need to worry?”
“Nothing to worry about.” Bianca looked at the couch and gasped. “Hello there!”
“Finally you acknowledge me… Really?”

Bianca kneeled and cupped Marsh’s head on her hands.

“Look at this handsome boy, you look so cute and beautiful! Oh my God, I missed you so much!” Marsh barked and licked Bianca’s hands. “Aweee! You’re as cute as I remember!” Bianca laughed and look at her friend. “You look good too, Raja.”

Raja gave her an offended look but laughed, she pinched Bianca’s cheek and took her glasses off.

“Look how far you’ve come, Bea, you’re much older.”

Bianca gave her back another offended look, she slapped her leg and took her glasses back.

“Rude!”

Bianca sat on the floor and grabbed a pizza slice, Marsh got down from Raja’s lap and sat on Bianca’s, Bianca smiled and hugged the old dog, Marsh was one of the few things that felt like home in this town.

“So?” Bianca said and looked at her friends. “It’s time to get to work, don’t you think?”
“But you just arrived, don’t you want to rest?” Gus asked her and handed her a can of beer. "Have a nap?"
“Nah, I prefer to be busy.” She took a sip of it and grabbed another slice. “We have some work to do, do you want to see the designs I already have?"

----

The three friends spent the following weeks gathered in Bianca’s old room catching up, Bianca was so happy Dela had gotten her masters and a nice job on the hospital, Raja told her she had started dating a woman named Raven that lived on Los Angeles.

"And she has a kid?"
"She does." Raja had said. "Baby's name is Phoenix, she is a newborn baby."
"And are you ready to be a stepmom?"
"No one said I'm marrying her, Bea, we're just getting to know each other, don't rush anything."
"Whatever you say, Raj."

The first time they entered the room Bianca noticed that Dela hadn’t took off none of the designs she had left on the walls when she left for New York, she was not going to admit it out loud but she loved it.

Bianca had her mannequin with Dela’s design on and was working crazy on it, she wanted it to be perfect, Raja had given her a copy of Gus’ tuxedo design and Bianca was trying to get them look the most similar she could.

“I love it.”

Bianca heard the door open and some voices coming from downstairs, she could hear Dela ranting with Raja, she put her pins and thread down and went down to find out what was going on.

Her cellphone rang before she arrived to the living room, she took it and went to the backyard to answer, it was Courtney.

“G’day Bianca, sorry for calling you during your travel trip but I can’t find the dress you left for miss Perry on the servo.”
“Did you check behind the door that has the carnival sticker?”
“... No, give me a sec… Hey, how is your trip going? Have you had some work done?”
“A lot, I’m working on some designs in my friend’s studio and working on the wedding dress as well, what about you? Are you having any trouble with managing the studio by yourself?”
“Not really, I thought it would be 100 times harder but I’m actually not having any trouble, Tyra ended up being a really smart learner for a teen.”

Bianca rolled her eyes, she grabbed a cigarette from her pocket and lit it as she waited for Courtney to take the call again, she walked around the garden as Courtney kept her waiting on line, she looked at the open door and saw Raja and Dela whispering to each other, she could also see Dela kneeled talking with someone in the front door, she couldn’t see to whom.

“I found it! Sorry, Bianca, it was where you said.”
“It’s ok, get everything done, Courtney.”
“Of course, Bianca! Have a good day!”

Bianca put her cellphone away and step on the cigarette, she went back to the house and saw Raja looking at her with Gus.

“What? What did I do?”

Raja shook her head and looked at Dela, Dela nodded and closed the door.

“Bea, come sit with me.” Bianca was confused, her friends had been so outgoing and now they look worried and serious. “There’s something we haven’t told you yet.”
“What do you mean?”
“Before you arrived.” Gus said, Marsh curled on his feet as he talked. “We’ve had been discussing something, that’s why I got worried when you told me you’ve had a situation on your way here.”
“You see, Bea, there’s a little someone who wants to see you but we don’t know if you want to or if you are ok with this.”

Bianca started to feel nervous.

Tony.

It had to be Tony, he must have seen her when she arrived, he must have seen her car, he must have seen her when she was in the park.

Her hands started to feel sweaty.

“This is Tony, stop calling Bianca, we’re not going to your stupid aids play; stop trying.”
“... Who is it?”
“I don’t want you to get scared, it’s someone you don’t know and she does not know you either, but she really wants to get to meet you.” Raja looked at Gus and nodded, he got up and went to the doorway. “Don’t freak out.”
“Too late, I’m already freaking out.”
“It’s going to be ok.”

They heard the door open, Gus and Dela walked in with a little girl holding their hands, Bianca immediately recognized the red tutu and the bumblebee backpack she had seen the other day.

“Hello, my name is Valentina, I think you are my tia Bianca.”

----

“I told you to not freak out.” Raja said as she followed Bianca inside the kitchen and closed the door behind them.
“Yes, but you didn’t tell me you were bringing a girl saying she is my niece! What the fuck, Raja!?”
“Don’t say bad words when Valentina is around.”
“You’re the last person with the right to tell me that.” Bianca put on her normal glasses and held the bridge of her nose. “I just told you what Soleil told me before I came here… I need a drink.” Raja opened the bridge and handed her another can of beer, Bianca opened it and drank it all in a sip. “I feel dizzy.”
“I have never seen you this nervous, not even when we went to see you in your Broadway plays.”
“This is a whole new fucking level, this is not a fucking play, this is real life." Bianca opened the door a little bit, she could see the little girl sitting on the floor playing with Marsh. “Whose daughter is she?”
“I’m not sure.” Raja said and closed the door, Bianca went to the sink and served herself a glass of water.
“What do you mean you're not sure?”
“That I don't know, Bianca.” Bianca gave her an angry look. “She overheard us talking about you and contacted us after that.”

Bianca sighed, she drank the water and looked back at her friend.

"I can't do this, I can't."
"What? Don't say bullshit, of course you can."
"No Raja, I can't." Bianca took off her glasses and put them on the counter. "Whose daughter is she?"
"I told you that I don't know, Bea."
"Bitch, I have three siblings that are possible parents to that girl, what if… what if her dad is Tony? Eh? What if he is her dad? He would kill me if he found out I met his daughter."
"He would not do that."
"He wouldn't? Do you remember what happened when I moved in with Dela?" Bianca pointed at her head. "I still have the scar if you want to check."

Bianca passed her hands on her face and gave a frustrated sigh.

"Bea." Raja sat on the counter and drew circles on Bianca's back. "You are the toughest bitch I have ever known."
“Don’t give me a motivational talk, I hate them.”
“Then don’t put yourself in the situation of needing one!” Raja got down from the counter and hugged Bianca. “Look, I’m not going to force you to talk with Valentina, if you don’t want to see her I’ll tell her myself and I’ll take her home. I’m not forcing you to do something you don’t want to.”

Bianca sighed, she parted from Raja and took a long breath.

“Look, I’m going to do this and I’m going to talk with her but it will be only this time, you hear me?”
“I hear you.”
“One and only time.”
“Got it.”
“And stop fucking giving me that look, you look stupid.”

Raja smiled.

“That’s what I wanted to hear, let’s go.”

Raja opened the kitchen’s door and Bianca followed her outside, they found them in the backyard, Bianca saw the little girl laugh as Marsh ran following her around the grass, she could see that Valentina had taken off her shoes and was running barefoot, she looked so different than when she saw her in the park earlier back then.

“What are you thinking, Bea?”

“She looks happy.” Raja smiled, they sat on the steps, Raja looked at Dela and Dela nodded.
“Vale! Can you come? Your auntie is ready to see you.”

The little girl looked at her surprised, she ran to the swing that Dela had on the tree to put on her shoes.

“Let me put on my shoes, I don't want her to think I'm a para sucia.”

When she heard her say that, she thought of her mother.

“No one likes a pata sucia.”

Bianca got up and took off her shoes, her friends looked confused as she put her shoes away and stood barefoot on the grass.

“Let’s be pata sucias together as we talk, what do you think?” The little girl smiled, she kicked off her shoes and walked towards her. “Let’s seat under the tree, let’s have a kiki.”
“A kiki?”
“A talk, that’s how we call it in New York.”
“Ohh, I like it.”

Raja gave her thumbs up as Bianca walked with Valentina, Valentina held on her blouse and sat with her under the tree, she saw the little girl sit hugging her backpack as Bianca sat in front of her, she was playing with the zipper as she waited for her.

“How’s the dress?”
“It’s ok, mom didn’t notice it was tore, thank you.”
“No need to.” Bianca said. “Well, I guess your name is Valentina, right?”
“Yes, like the sauce.”
“Like the sauce, Jesus Christ.” Bianca said, she wanted to have a cigarette so bad. “How are you? I mean, what happened back in the park, you know.”

Valentina shrugged, she hugged her knees.

“She is always like this since her parents got divorced, I don’t blame her, she is hurt and wants to hurt someone back so she does not feel bad.”
“Wow, that was something very deep for a six years old.”
“I’m seven years old, tía, not six.”

Bianca laughed, she couldn’t help it, the girl was sassy.

“I start to believe you’re really my niece, you are as cynical as me.” Valentina’s eyes shone when Bianca said it.
“You think so?”
“I mean, yeah.” Bianca messed Valentina’s hair. “But I want you to tell me, how did you found out about me? I’ve been gone since 1994, you weren’t even born yet when I left.”

Valentina nodded, she unwrapped her knees and opened her backpack, she grabbed a pink folder and looked at Bianca.

“Mi abuelita has a drawer that el abuelo calls ‘el cajón del olvido’, la abuela puts a lot of stuff there and never opens it, she just leaves everything there and never talks about it.” Valentina opened the folder. “One day that I was alone in the house I could get a glimpse of it, there was a folder that said ‘Bianca’, this folder.”

Valentina handed her the folder, Bianca took it and saw it’s content, there were a lot of sheets of paper, they were her drawings, pictures and letters, she saw a lot of the stuff she hadn’t had the chance to take with her when she left, her mom had kept it and then hid it from everyone.

Maybe not from everyone.

“No one wanted to tell me anything from the girl in the photos, mi tía Claudia was the only one who told me about you. She said that when you left she was really young and that she didn’t remember a lot of who you were but that she knew you were her big sister, and that you had to leave. She is the only person that knew about this folder.”

Bianca started to pass the photos, she saw one of her carrying Claudia when she was a newborn baby, she remember her little sister as a ball of pure joy, she always thought of her as a little sun, Bianca wondered how she looked now, it had been so long.

“She was helping me to look for you but la abuela caught us.”

Bianca looked alarmed at the little girl, shit, if her mom caught her nothing would go ok for any of them.

“What happened? Did she tell you…”
“Tía Claudia told her we were looking for musicals and that your name popped out on one called Rent, she didn’t tell us anything bad, she was just annoyed but mi tía said she could not help me anymore after that so I continued by myself.” Valentina took a notebook out of her backpack, Bianca was pleasantly surprised, the little girl was a box full of surprises. “From that I found out that you are an actress and you make clothes in New York, I found information of your studio and I called to you but you never picked up.”
“Sorry for that, my old assistant was the one managing that and never told me about my calls.”
“It’s ok, Claudia told me that you were angry with us and that’s why you didn’t want to hear from us.”
“Claudia said that?”
“Yes, she said that my papi told her that.”

My papi.

“Your papi? Vale, what’s your papi’s name?”

Valentina grabbed an identification from her school and handed it to Bianca, Bianca looked at it and froze at what she saw. The identification had Valentina’s parents photos on the back, her mom was a woman that looked familiar to her, she had long hair as Valentina and a red blouse, her father was more familiar to her, short hair and a moustache perfectly fitting his face, the look on his eyes was severe and Bianca felt like he was judging her.

“Tony.”

Bianca dropped the identification, she got up and walked to the swings.

“Tía?”
“I need a moment, kiddo.”

Bianca sat on one of the swings and lit a cigarette.

Fuck.

Tony was her dad.

Fuck.

“Tony is her dad…”

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She finished her cigarette and lit another one, she started to twirl on the swing, it was exactly what she didn’t want, she would have preferred a thousand times Lucy or David as her parents, but Tony? That was a fucking death trap.

“Tía?” Bianca saw the little girl standing in front of her, she had her backpack on and her shoes on her hand. “I’m sorry, I should have listened Claudia, I made you angry.”

Bianca shook her head, she put her cigarette away and looked at the little girl.

“I’m not mad, kiddo.” She said. “Look, you’re too young to understand some stuff but you are old enough to know that I didn’t leave because I was angry, I left because… Because I needed to find something different for me.” Bianca grabbed the folder Valentina had, she saw a picture of her as dressed up as a knight and handed it to Valentina. “Do you think that if I stayed in Louisiana I would have been such a good actress?”
“Probably not.”
“Exactly.” She saw that the little girl had tears rolling down her cheeks, she cleaned Valentina’s face and pinched her cheek. “There’s so much more than that, and I’ll explain it all.”
“You will?”
“Sure, I’m staying until the end of August here to help Dela with her wedding, we can talk about whatever you want.”
“Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise? What’s that?”
“A pinky promise is a promise that you can never break, if you do it, your pinky falls.”
“Really? No! I love my pinky, it’s my favorite finger!”

Valentina laughed, maybe Bianca had found something good in this town.

“If you don’t want it to fall, you have to full fill it.” Valentina offered Bianca her pinky, Bianca looked at the little girl, accepting Valentina’s promise she’d be singing a contract of honesty with the little girl, it scared her, being here again and now with the little girl made her feel dangerously close to her past, but as she saw her niece standing in front of her, so little but so smart and brave at just seven years old made her feel different, it was like a fire on her chest that she thought was off for so many years, it almost made her cry.

Bianca interlinked her pinky with Valentina.

Maybe this promise was going to be worth it and Bunny had said it, it was not like the floor would open and she would be dragged to hell.

----

“Valentina, put on your sandals!”
“No! I’m a pata sucia, tía!”

Bianca laughed, she sat on the stairs with Raja, they shared the lemonade Valentina had brought them and watched the little girl run around with Marsh, she loved seeing her run around, it was the perfect example of the innocence a child has when they’re little.

Bianca hadn’t told her anything yet, Valentina was so little, she didn’t deserve how rotten her relationship with her family was, Valentina saw Tony as her superhero, it wasn’t fair for her to tell Valentina that her dad was not like that with her.

Raja threw a ball to them, Valentina immediately grabbed it and threw it to Marsh, she was laughing out loud as Marsh caught the ball, Bianca loved the scene.

“What are you thinking, Bea?”

Bianca looked at her niece.

“I’m happy I met her, she is a cute kid.”
“A few weeks ago you were freaking out Tony would find out.”
“Oh, I’m still freaked out about that.” She took a sip of her glass. “But he haven’t noticed yet, Vale says nor her mom or Tony are home until very late in night, she’s pretty much alone all day.”
“That’s sad.”
“I know, as a kid I never knew that feeling, I had four fucking siblings and dad worked from home, I never had a moment to feel alone, until…”
“Until you left.”
“Yes.” Bianca saw how Valentina undid her ponytail and the wind flow in her hair getting it messy, she had a very long hair. “I guess it is a thousand times harder for her, she is an only child.”
“I thought Tony would like to have more children.”
“Nah, Tony is not like that, he didn’t want children, I was surprised to know he had one.”
“Probably because of his wife.”
“Probably.”

Valentina ran towards her, Bianca smiled and wiped clean Valentina's face from the sweat.

“Can you help me with my hair?”
“Sure, kiddo.”
“Do you know how to braid hair?”
“Of course I do, who do you think I am?”

Valentina laughed, she turned around and sat in front of Bianca, Bianca parted her hair in two and started doing the first braid, Valentina had so much hair it was insane, she complimented her mom for having her always with a perfect ponytail on her head.

She did the other one and looked at her.

“Listo, you look great.”

“Thank you.” The little ran back inside and put on her backpack. “Tía, can we go to get an ice cream? It’s really hot out here.”

Raja and Bianca shared a look, Raja shrugged and grabbed Marsh's leash.

"We can take Marsh on a walk as well."

Valentina's eyes shone as she started jumping around.

"Porfi tía, porfiiii."
"Oh what the hell, sure."

Valentina put on her sandals and her backpack and walked out holding Bianca's hand, they walked through the park until they arrived to the market Bianca used to do her groceries when she lived with Dela, it hadn't changed a bit.

"No way, is it you Bianca?"

Bianca looked up and saw a well known face standing behind a cashing machine.

"Oh! It's really you, Bianca!"
"Hello Nina, it's been a while."

Nina got off from behind the cashing machine and hugged Bianca.

"Bianca you look so good, New York made you good!" She then looked at Valentina who was hiding behind Bianca.
"And who's this little girl? Is she your daughter?"
"What? No, no, she's my niece."
"Oh, your niece!" Nina kneeled and offered Valentina her hand. "My name is Nina West, nice to meet you, what's your name?"
"Valentina, like the sauce."
"The hot sauce? Uhhh, baby girl, that's a spicy sauce so I guess you're a very crazy girl that likes to dance."

Valentina nodded and laughed, she was still holding onto Bianca.

"Good to know." Nina got up and looked back at Bianca. "What do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"My niece here wants an ice cream, do you happen to still sell them?"
"Of course I do, who do you think I am, Bianca? Come with me."

The two of them followed Nina to a freezer, Valentina grabbed a mango and lemon ice cream while Bianca grabbed an orange popsicle, Valentina sat on the ground with Marsh as she ate her ice cream while Nina sat with Bianca.

"Bianca, it's been such a long time since I last heard from you, where have you been?"
"I moved to New York, I work there as an actress and designer."
"And how is it for you over there? Life treats you fair?"
"It does, I have a lot of work and I rent a nice apartment."
"You finally found your long wanted perhaps?"

Bianca shrugged, she wasn't sure if she has already found it.

"I always see your friends, they're always around, that girl Delilah is finally getting married and your friend Raja is dating someone, isn't she?"
"How do you know about Raja?"
"Oh come on, look at her talking on the phone." The three of them gave Raja a look, she was giving twirls around Nina's car.
"She just needs heart on her eyes and Cupid flying around, don't you think?"
"I think she already has that." Valentina said, she had ice cream all over her face. "Maybe we can't see it because we're not in love."
"Probably." Bianca grabbed a napkin and wiped Valentina's cheeks. "I think it's time to get going, how much is it, Nina?"
"Oh no, no, it's on the house."
"No, don't do that."
"I insist, I haven't seen you in a while, it's my treat for you." Nina grabbed a sausage from her fridge and gave it to Marsh. "Don't be a stranger, Bianca."
"I won't, see you."

The three of them walked back to Dela's house, Raja got on her car and Bianca helped Valentina to get on the backseat.

"Why can't you take me home too, tía?"
"You know your daddy doesn't like me that much, I don't want to get him mad, kiddo."
"He's not going to get mad, I promise!"

Bianca shook her head, she hugged the little girl and handed her a five dollar bill.

"Sorry Vale, maybe next time."

Bianca gave her a sad smile.

"Dela's wedding is in two weeks, I hope I see you there."
"Can I bring tia Claudia?"
"Sure but ask her first, ok?"

Valentina smiled, she got up and kissed her cheek through the open window.

"I'll see you on Friday, tia."
"Sure, Vale."

Bianca saw Raja's car go down the avenue, she felt a warm wave on her head, Valentina really cared for her.

"Hey Bea!"

Bianca looked at the house and saw Dela standing on the door.

"I came home early so you could show me the finished dress, where were you?"
"Sorry, I took Vale to eat ice cream with Nina."
"Awee, so adorable."
"Shut it."

Bianca followed Dela to her to and showed her the finished dress, it was a long sleeved silk dress as her mother's, Bianca had tried to make it look the more similar she could but more modern.

Dela walked around the dress covering her mouth.

"Do you hate it?"
"On the contrary, Bea I love it… I love it!"

Dela wrapped Bianca on her arms and kissed her cheek, Bianca hugged her friend back and sat with her on her bed.

"I cannot wait to use it."
"Just a few more weeks, you'll be the most beautiful bride ever."

----

Bianca grabbed her cellphone from the nightstand and walked out to Dela's backyard, she sat on the steps and lit up a cigarette, after a few seconds she stepped on it and called Bunny, she waited a few seconds until she heard her pick up the phone.

"Hurricane, how are you? How has Louisiana treated you? Do you need me to go?"
"Nope Buns, it'd been actually pretty good."
"Really? You haven't ran into any Tonies?"
"No, it's been nice, I already finished Dela's dress, she loved it."
"Of course she loved it, she had you as her designer, I hope you keep this on your memory cuz I'll never compliment you ever again."
"You always say that."
"And how's the kid? Your niece?"

Bianca sat on one of the swings and looked her feet, she took of her sandals and felt the cold grass on her fingers.

"She's good, she's an amazing little girl, it's hard to believe she's Tony's daughter."
"Probably she's more like her mother."
"Probably."
"It's nice to know you're ok, call me if you need anything."
"Sure thing, Buns, have a good night."
"You too, Hurricane."

Bianca hung up and stayed on the swings a little more, she was not admiring this to her friends but she was really happy she had came back, she went back inside the house and threw her cigarettes on the trashcan.

She wanted a new start, everything was nice and easier this time.

Nothing could ruin this.

Right?

Chapter Text

Everything had happened in a rush; there had been a hurricane alert on TV, she had locked herself on the basement with Dela, Gus and her dad but it a moment that the gate opened Marsh shot itself out of the basement, Dela and Bianca went out to get him back ignoring Ben’s yelling and found him covering with his body a small girl that was hiding on the front porch.

“Valentina?” Her niece had lift her small face covered in tears.
“Tía? Thank God you’re ok!”
“What in the hell are you doing here!?”

A strong stiff wind interrupted them almost making them fall.

“Bianca, this is not the time to scold her, let’s go back to the basement.”

Bianca carried her niece on her arms while Dela took Marsh with her, they arrived to the gate and Bianca put her niece on the ground.

“Valentina, why in the hell were you here?” Bianca had asked her.
“I came to check on you.”
“Ay Vale.” She’d heard Dela and Gus desperately try to open the gate.
“It’s stuck!”
“I appreciate the gesture but you put yourself in danger.” They felt another stiff wind, Bianca wrapped Valentina on her arms until it stopped. “Dela, what is taking you so long?”
“The door is stuck!”
“Fuck.”
“You said a bad word.”
“Oh my God, Valentina you’re the last person with the right to reprimand me for what I do, what were you thinking!?”
“I’m going to hit the door open, move aside, baby!”
“I just wanted to know if you were ok!” Valentina yelled her back, she grabbed the sleeves of her sweater as she looked at Bianca.
“Gus, hurry up please!”
“I understand you’re worried about me, but think about your mom and dad.” Bianca said, she took of her jacket and wrapped around her niece. “Kiddo, they must be really worried about you.”
“I understand if they’re worried, but tía, someone has to be worried about you too.”

Bianca looked at her niece in disbelief, she felt her heart ache and tears forming on her eyes.

“Kiddo…”
"It opened!”
“Watch out!”

Bianca felt how Dela pushed them inside, she fell hard on the ground of the basement and Valentina and Marsh fell on top of her.

“What in the- Dela!”

What she had saw left her cold, Dela was laying on the steps with blood coming out of her head.

Gus had carried her to the bed and attended her, Valentina had given him a first aids kit she had on her bumblebee backpack.

“Why do you have a first aids kit with you?” Ben had asked her after Gus took it and continued attending Dela.
“My abuelito always says that it's important to have one with you because you never know when it can come in handy.”

Bianca had spent the next two days with them on the basement listening to the radio, she needed to get out to at least contact with her friends to let them know she was ok and alive, two more days passed until they could go outside, Bianca climbed the ladder with Gus behind her and found the house messy with the windows broken, they got outside and found a complete chaos.

Everything was flooded, trees down, cars destroyed, houses reduced to almost nothing.

“Jesuschrist.”

Valentina came behind them and took Bianca’s hand.

“Is this God’s anger, tía?”

Bianca didn’t know what to tell her, Bianca didn’t know, she just didn’t know.

----

The only way they could go around the town was by bike, Gus’ car was the only one that had survived and he used it to take Dela to the hospital, she took Dela’s old bike and rode away with Valentina.

They passed by the park and by the downtown, she needed to get her niece home.

“Where do you live, baby?”
“I don’t want to go home, tía.”

Bianca stopped on the sidewalk, she got Valentina down and kneeled in front of her.

“Kiddo, look at your surroundings, this is not the time to act greedy.”
“But-”
“I don’t want any buts, baby, I do not.” She said.
“Pero tía, if we go home and my dad sees you he will stop any way to contact you, I won’t see you again… I don’t want that, I don’t want that!”

Bianca saw how her niece started crying, the hurt she had felt before on her heart came back again, she hugged her niece and held her head against her shoulders.

“That won’t happen, I won't let him do that but you really need to go back home, they must be going crazy.” Bianca looked at the front and saw a pamphlet on a trashcan, she grabbed it and showed to Valentina. “Look, your parents are already looking for you.”

Valentina looked away, Bianca sighed and got on the bike with her again.

“Well, if you don’t want me to take you with your dad, I’m going to take you with your grandparents.”
“But you-”
“Don’t worry about me, I’m going to be ok.”

Bianca rode faster and faster as they were approaching the house, she stopped a few houses before they arrived, both of them got down from the bike and walked towards the house, before they arrived Bianca grabbed Valentina’s shoulder and kneeled next to her.

“The reason why I left, kiddo.”
“Yes?”
“Was because I am not what your abuela wanted me to be.”
“Because you like girls?”

Bianca looked at her niece surprised, Valentina shrugged and took Bianca’s hand.

“I always knew that, my auntie Lucy told me, tía and I don’t think it’s wrong.”
“Vale…”
“You’re still my tía and that won’t change just because you don’t like boys, I don’t like boys either, they’re really gross.”

Bianca laughed, she wiped her nose and looked back at Valentina, she really had been blessed with this little girl, she had taken off a big weight of her shoulders.

Bianca hugged her and felt Valentina’s small hands drawing circles on her back, she sniffed and looked back at the little girl.

“I can’t get any nearer to the house, besides that I have to go back to New York but,” She took out her wallet and handed Valentina her car with her cellphone number written on the back, she also handed her a hundred dollars bill. “ you can call me whenever you want.”
“To have a kiki?”
“Exactly, to have a kiki.”
“And this?”
“This is for you, I want you to use it if you’re in trouble, is a little help from me to you.”

They heard a door open, both of them saw a woman get out of the house with two people behind her.

“It’s my time to go.”
“But tía-”
“Don’t worry about me, you can call me whenever you want.”

Valentina gave her a quick hug, Bianca saw her run to the people that had left the house, she saw the woman embrace her on her arms and more people getting out the house and joining them on the embrace. It had been so long since she had seen that scene, Bianca put on the cap of the hoodie and got on the bike, when she was ready to leave she heard a voice behind her.

“Hey! Are you the woman who brought back my daughter?”

It was Tony’s voice, her brother was behind her, she felt her hands sweat as she grabbed the bike but nodded.
“I want to thank you, let me invite you dinner tonight.”

Bianca shook her head, she got on the bike and rode away ignoring her brother’s voice.

----

“Doctor Delilah is now on an induced coma.”

The three of them remained silent as the doctor explained them what had happened to Dela, that the coma was the best for her body, that if they hadn’t induced the coma she wouldn’t be alive but Bianca had stopped listening, it was too much for her.

She remembered calling Raja, she had left for California before everything happened since she was going to bring Raven to the wedding, she told her everything and then heard her cry, she called Agnes, Bunny and Soleil and made them know she was alive and that she was going back to New York the next day bus because her car had been destroyed.

She thanked Gus and hugged Ben, she promised to call and to be in touch.

She had left for the day and waited alone on a bench until the driver let her get on the bus, she sat on the last row of seats and took the photos Gus had taken last week.

Bianca, Raja and Dela dining together with Valentina on Dela’s garden, they had been so happy and now they were separated again.

She rested her head on the window and covered her face with her hoodie.

Her number one rule was to not let a bitch see her cry and this was not going to be the first time.

She cried to her sleep all the way back to New York.

----

New York 2008

“Did you receive the DVD I sent you, tía?”
“I did, kiddo and let me tell you I love the way you danced, I’d never thought I’ll see you as Giselle, I loved it.”
“Really?”
“Really, Vale.” She got on the elevator and pressed her floor’s button. “Did you receive your birthday gift on the mail?”
“Yes!”
“And? What do you think?”
“I loved it! I didn’t know you had so many fashion magazines!”
“Are you really talking about the magazines I sent you? I meant the dress!”
“Oh, that’s cute too! I’m taking it to my friend’s party tonight, dad wants to know how on earth I got it!”

Bianca laughed, she stepped out of the elevator and greeted Courtney as she entered her studio.

“Did you tell him it’s a secret?”
“Yup, he got mad again!”

Bianca laughed again, she saw Courtney pointing at an envelope.

“Kiddo, I gotta go, I have a lot to do today.”
“Don’t worry, tía, I hope everything goes sweet on California!”
“I hope for the same.”
“Dedos cruzados!”

Bianca smiled, she hung up and looked at Courtney.

“What’s that?”
“Our finished contract, he said we have to take all of our stuff out by tonight.”
“It’s already all out, it’s just my desk and your desk.”
“Yeah, but he’s exaggerating.”
“Well, we have to go, I left the key with Bunny so Soleil and Diego can come pick them up.”

They grabbed their bags and went down the elevator, Courtney was texting someone on her phone, they were going to work for a while on Los Angeles with Raja and it seemed that Courtney was more excited than her.

“What are you even seeing on your phone?”
“My… friend Will is telling me about this case of a girl from American Idol, paparazzi saw her fighting with her boyfriend and it seemed the fight got really bad, girl is in the hospital.”
“You shouldn’t read that shit, let the girl alone, my God.”

They had everything ready and Bianca was nervous, Courtney already had somewhere to stay and she did as well but still she was nervous, Bianca had never been on Los Angeles and this was going to be her first time, maybe the sun of LA would be nice for her.

At least for a while.

Chapter Text

California 2008

“Krystian- No, wait!”

Adore heard her friends’ voice behind them as she was being dragged out of Katya’s house.

“Man, stop!” Chris’s voice joined Katya and Jinkx’s. “You don’t have to do this!”
“You are not telling me what to do, faggot, you heard me?” Krystian let go Adore’s arm and turned to face Chris. “She is mine and I’m going to take her with me whether you like it or not.”
“Don’t call him fa-“
“I don’t remember saying you could talk, Adore!” He grabbed her by her arms again, his face was a few centimeters away from her own, his breath smelled like alcohol.
“Baby, you’re drunk.” She said with her shaky voice, Adore could see Chris and Katya taking silent steps towards them. “We-we can solve this in the morning when you’re sober, we can talk it out.”
“No, I’m done with this shit.” Katya ran towards him and took his hands off from Adore. “Let her alone you filthy animal!”
“Don’t touch me, fucking dyke!”

He pushed away the blonde girl making her fall, Katya’s head almost hit the ground but Jinkx ran towards her and caught her.

“Kat!” Jinkx helped her to get up, Katya's nose was bleeding.
“You’re dead, fucker!” Chris threw himself to him trying to tackle him down but even on his drunk state Krystian was faster and got off his way, he looked back at Adore.
“We’re leaving, now.”

Krystian pushed her inside of the car and drove away leaving Chris on the floor, Adore saw on the retrovisor how her friends helped him to get up.
“Why were you there?”

Krystian was now driving away from Katya’s house on a high speed, he had his hands around the wheel and his knuckles were looking white on it.

“I just wanted to have a good time with my friends.” Adore’s voice was very low at this point, she had seen Krystian mad at her before but this time was not like the other times, the look on his eyes was different.
“You’re a fucking liar.”
“I am not lying!”
“Then why was there that guy!?” He turned on a street that Adore didn’t know, she was starting to feel nervous.
“Chris is always around, you know him.”
“And what about the other guys, eh?”
“The-there were many guys, Krys, it was a party and Kat invited almost everyone from our class.”
“Many more guys?” He chuckled and looked at her. “I knew you were a slut from the moment I saw you, Adore, I knew you were a whore and tonight you proved it.”
“Wha…”
“I’m dropping you at your house.” He drove past a red light and continued talking to her. “Is someone in there?”
“No, mom is with my grandma and my dad took my brothers out.”
“… Perfect.”

After a few miles Krystian parked outside of her mom’s house, he took her out of the car and dragged her inside of her own home.

“Krystian, stop, you’re hurting me!"
“That’s what sluts like you deserve.” He closed the door and looked back at her. “Who the fuck was that guy? Answer to me!”
“Why do you ask again? It’s just Chris!”
“Just Chris, right, that’s how people call their lovers now, just Chris.”
“For God’s sake, stop being this fuck-“

Adore didn’t get to finish what she was saying because Krystian slapped her across her face and made her lose her balance, she fell to the floor and hit her head on the couch.

“Krystian…” She touched her cheek, it was hot and she could feel it was already swallowing, her head hurt where she had hit the couch.
“Don’t fucking lie to me!” He kicked her on her stomach. “Why are you doing this to us!?”
“Krys, please!” The pain she felt after that kick was sharp, it felt like a knife stabbing her. “Stop please! I love you.”
“You are a fucking liar! You don't love me!” He placed his hands around her neck and started to close her fingers tighter and tighter. “Who was that guy?”
“You know Chris, my friend, I-I met him a few months ago after American-Idol.”
“…”
“Krys, I ca-can’t breathe…”
“You love to sing, don’t you?” She tightened his hand around her neck. “Fucking slut, you love singing more than you love me.”

She tried to pull his hands away but it was useless, she was losing her vision, everything was spinning around her and blurry.

“Krys…”
“Not anymore.”

He slapped her face again and threw her against the wall.

Everything went black.

----

“Adore!” She felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around her body.
“Oh God, oh God.” She could hear the cracked voice of her mother. “Frankie, what the fuck happened here?”
“I don’t know, I found her like this.”
"Let me." Adore recognized that voice, it was Katya, she felt her friend's hand on her wrist. “I feel her pulse, Bonnie, she's alive."
“Adore, is she…” She recognized Ernie’s worried voice.
“Ernie, call an ambulance.”
“But mom-“
“Call an ambulance, chingada madre, call a fucking ambulance, Ernesto!” She felt her mom’s hands cupping her face. “Oh Jesus, who could have done this to my daughter? My baby!”
"Bonnie..."
"Katya, who did this!?"
“Mom…” Adore couldn’t talk, her throat hurt, it hurt really bad. “it…”
“Adore! Thank God! No, don’t force yourself, baby, you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, don't talk.” Bonnie repeated, it was like she was trying to convince herself, not her daughter. “Ernesto, where is the fucking ambulance!?”
“It was Krys…”

Her vision got blurry again, breathing was getting harder at every second.
“Mom… I…”

The last thing Adore heard was her mom calling her name before she fell unconscious again.

----

Adore was awoken by the internment sound of a monitor by her side, she looked down at her body, she was wearing a white hospital gown, she saw a needle on her arm and she could feel a cervical collar around her neck.

“Oh baby…” She heard her mother press a button, Bonnie had been sitting on a sofa next to her, she sat on the bed with her and took her hand, Adore could see that she had been crying, her eyes were swollen and her voice sound tired. “You’re awake.”
“Mom-“
“Don’t speak, baby, it must hurt.”
“It does…”

The door opened and a short woman entered her room.

“Who is she?” Adore asked her mom, her voice could almost be heard.
“I like to say that I’m a glamorous toad named Ginger Minj but you can just call me doctor Minj.” She sat next to her. “How is the idol feeling? Any pain?”

Adore nodded.

“Where?”

Adore pointed to her neck.

“Ok.” The doctor guided her hands to her cervical collar. “I’m going to remove this for a second, I just have to check your throat. I'll be super quick, ok?”

Adore grimaced at the idea, by just moving a little bit her head she could feel a big pain under the collar.

“Hey.” Bonnie took her hand. “I’m right here, baby, you’ll be fine.”

She took a long breath and nodded to the doctor. She took the collar from her neck and Bonnie gasped at the view, Adore saw her reflection on the window, it horrified her, her neck was covered in dark bruises, there were blue, yellow and purple spots all over her skin, it was like something she would see in a movie but it was real, too real.

The doctor carefully put her hands on her throat, Adore started to panic as she felt the touch on her skin.
“Baby, you’re ok, you’re ok… I’m here with you, you’re safe.”

Her doctor pressed her hands one last time around her neck and helped her to put on the collar again.

“It seems that your throat and neck are ok, there's nothing broken, it will take a time to reduce inflammation and for the bruises to disappear but you’re going to be ok.”
“And I’ll be able to sing again?” Her voice cracked as she asked her, her doctor gave her a reassuring look.
“Don’t worry, Adore, the idol will hit the stages again, your voice will be just fine.”

She felt relieved, all that mattered to her was being able to sing again.

“Thank you…”
“You don’t have to thank me.” She petted her arm. “Now try to get some sleep, I’ll check on you later.”

She placed a bunch of papers on the table next to the door and turned around to her mom.

“Mrs. Noriega, can you come with me for a second?”
“Doctor.”

Both Doctor Minj and her mom stopped and looked at her, Adore looked at them as she stood helping herself with herself with her bed.

“What happened to Angel?”

Doctor Minj shook her head.

“Did your mother know?” Adore shook her head. “Alright then.”
“They told me already.” Adore felt a knot on her throat, she wanted to scream so bad and she wanted to cry. She covered her eyes with her hands and a sob escaped her lips.
“Miss Delano.” Doctor Minj sat with her and drew little circles on her arm. “First of all I want you to know that miscarriage is something that happened to you, not something you caused.”
“But…”
“No, there is not ‘buts’ in here.” Her doctor said. “No one could have seen this coming, you didn’t cause this.”
“I feel like I did.” She said and looked at her mom. “I am so sorry, mom, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, silly.” She sat with her daughter and kissed her temple. “Never be sorry about this.”
“You’re going to be better, sweetheart.” Doctor Minj reassured her. “I’m going to make sure of that.”
“Thank you… Doctor Minj?”
“Yes?”

Adore shook her head, she laid back on the bed and closed her eyes, she felt her mom squeezing her arm.

All of this was so fucked up, what on earth had she had done?

----

A few days passed, her neck had been healing and she didn’t need the collar anymore, she had been seeing a therapist following doctor Minj’s advice and she had been feeling a little bit better.

Even though she was better she couldn’t leave the hospital yet and she couldn’t leave her room either, the days in that room were so boring, she couldn’t see her friends and she couldn’t sing, it was like punishment.

“Hey, Dorey.” She looked at the door and saw her brothers entering with a sunflowers bouquet and a tupper. “We bought you a little present.”
“Thank you, dude.” Frankie put the flowers on water and Ernie sat behind her on the bed. He handed her the tupper. “What’s this?”
“Food, real food.” He smiled to her. “Come on, open it.”
“If there is a fucking spider here I’m gonna… Pizza! Oh my God, I fucking love you.”
“We thought after passing days in here you’d be bored and done with hospital food.” Frankie said and placed the sunflowers next to her bed, they added little color to the room, she liked it. Adore noticed that he had his hand bandaged.
“Hey, what happened to your hand?”
“Nothing important, I burnt myself while I was cooking, don’t worry about it.” He took an envelope from his jacket. “This arrived home yesterday, you might want to check it.”

She took the envelope from her brother’s hand.

California Institute of the Arts

“Holy shit…” She opened the envelope and started reading.

Dear Adore,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been offered a spot in this year’s class for The Herb Alpert School of Music!
After reviewing your application, your portfolio and your audition tape, we have determined that you are the kind of student that we are looking for.

“Oh my God…”
“What?” Both of them read along her the letter. “No fucking way, you made it!”
“We have to have a celebration and call mom and pups! The little Adore is going to college!”
“Can we celebrate watching Jersey Shore instead and call them later? I’m tired.”
“Fair enough.”

Frankie got into the bed with them and watched Jersey Shore together, Adore couldn’t help to laugh at the roommates hitting the club.

“Snooki is gonna cause a problem, you’ll see.” Adore said and took a sip of water.
“Maybe not, maybe Jenni.”
“Ern, come on, is Snooki, she is a troublemaker!”

“Those shots are not for you.”
“Oh, fuck you! Fuck you!”
“Get out of the way, bitch!”

“Told you it was gonna be Snooki.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? It’s not for you! Who are you? Go away!”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Get your ugly ass out of our faces and-“

The three of them gasped as the saw how the man punched Snooki on the face.

Adore got paralyzed, it was like what happened to her was streaming on the TV, that guy was Krystian and she was Snooki on the ground.

“Frankie, change the chanel.” Ernie looked at her. “Adore, you ok?”
“I… I’m not.” She shook her head and closed her eyes.
“Adore, do you want to talk about it?”
“Yeah, I do… No… I don’t know.”

Ernie passed his arm over her shoulders and Frankie sat in front of her.

“I put on the news.”
“Who on earth watches the news… Are you fucking serious?”

Adore looked over her brother’s shoulder, the screen was showing her.

The young American Idol, Adore Delano, was seen having a fight with her boyfriend outside of a high-school party. Informers told us that this fight got physical at one point and that the idol is currently at the hospital.
We’ve tried to get on contact with the family but haven’t been successful.
It is said that Delano was cheating on her boyfriend and that’s the reason behind the boy’s anger but nothing had been confirmed.
We’ll keep updating you on this matter as soon as we have new information.

Frankie got up from the bed and turned off the TV, Ernie sat in front of her.

“Danielle, do you want me to go and tell that reporter to go and fuck herself?” Adore shook her head.
“That’s giving them what they want, we’re not going to tell them shit.” Adore put her fist in front of her brothers. “Are you down?”

Frankie and Ernie nodded, they put their fists with Adore’s and messed her hair.

“We won’t say shit.”

----

Adore was discharged from the hospital two days later, her brothers walked next to her acting as a wall keeping the paparazzis away from her, she got on her mom’s truck and closed the door.

“Are you ready to leave, baby?”
“I’m fucking ready, mom”

Now she had been home for three days but hadn’t tell anyone else besides her dad. Ernie and Frankie were helping her out with what she needed for college and would go out with her and helped her to buy anything that she needed, even with her brothers by her side she could feel people’s eyes on her. Once a little kid pointed to her and asked her mom why her neck was so ugly, Ernie had told them to fuck off.

Today Adore was just sitting in her mom’s couch playing her guitar when she heard the door open.

“Where’s la chamaca más guapa del mundo?”
“Hi, dad.” Her dad kissed her cheek and sat with her on the couch.
“How are you feeling, chula?”
“Good, my doctor said that my ribs are better and that I’ll be able to sing as before.”
“That’s good, mija.” He said and carefully squeezed her shoulder. “Frankie told me you got in college.”
“I did.” She handed him the acceptance letter. “What do you think?”
“I’m proud of you, I’m not lying.” He said and gave her the letter back. “But besides telling you how proud I am of you I want to know how are you feeling after all of the shit you’ve been through.”

Adore sighed.

“I don’t feel good, I feel bad, I feel like shit.”
“Ok… Ernie told me that you put a restraining order to Krystian.”
“I did.”
“And how did it go?”

Adore pointed at a pink old folder on the coffee table, he got it and read the document inside.

“He is no longer allowed without a thousand yards of me, the house and my school.”
“Only your high school or your university as well?”
“College too.”

Frank nodded, he sat with her and offered her his hand.

“Have I told you that I’m really proud of ya?”
“Don’t start, dad.”
“No, I’ll just continue because you are my little girl.”
“What about your other girls? Don’t you love them too?”

Her dad stood up in front of her, he took her face on his hands.

“I love all of my girls, I don’t love you less than I love your sisters.” He kissed her forehead and messed her hair. “What do you want to do next?”
“I want to sue him.”
“Baby…”
“I can’t let him do the same to any other girl, he has to pay for what he did.”

Her dad nodded, he took out his wallet and handed her a card.

“This is the lawyer that helped your mom and me with the divorce, she is good.”
“You’re really giving me the phone number of the lawyer that-“
“Yes, I am.” He said and took a couple of bills. “Here, this will help you out.”
“Dad, no.” Adore said. “I can use the money I got from the show.”
“Ah no, you’re using this and I’m not having a no as an answer.” He put the bills on Adore’s hands and closed them. “You’re going to need help, a dad’s job is to help his little girl.”

Adore saw that her dad had his hands like Frankie’s, they were full of scratches and had some cuts.

“What happened to your hands, dad?”
“Nothing to worry about, mija.”

----

Two days later her brothers and her parked in front of a large building, they walked in with her and accompanied her to the fifth floor.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to go inside with you?”
“No, Ern, I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, wait for me here.”

They sat on the waiting room while Adore went to her parents’ lawyer office, she reached to the door and read the name on it.

Agnes Moore.

She took a long breath and knocked on the door.

“Come on in!” When she opened the door she was greeted with a big smile, Agnes was sitting on her desk looking at her. “Take a sit.”
“Thank you.”
“What brings you here today, miss…” Agnes asked her with a sweet voice, she may have noticed how nervous she was.
“Adore, I am… I… I want to sue my boyfriend… Ex boyfriend” She said almost breathless, she took a folder from her backpack and gave it to her. “I need help now.”

Agnes opened the folder and looked at all the documents that were inside, she had already some paperwork done; there were hospital bills and descriptions of what she had gone through and pictures of her, bruises covered her neck and her left eye, she looked at the girl, most of the bruising was gone by now.

“You already filled your forms.”
“I did but I needed someone to review them and my parents told me you are someone who can really help a woman in need.”
“Had they been here before?”
“Yeah, you helped them to get a divorce.”
“What are their names?”
“Bonnie and Frank Delano, my mom took her single last name again.”
“That’s why you looked so familiar, you are as beautiful as your mother.”

For the first time in days Adore smiled, Agnes had a warm way of talking, it made her feel relieved.

“Ok, everything seems to be in order.”
“Thank God…”
“Now if you want to start this now we need to fill the court forms and send a copy of all of the parts, including the restrained person.”
“Krystian?”
“Yes, him.” Agnes said as she looked at a picture of him in Adore’s folder. She always wondered how these young men did such horrible things to women, she would never understand it.
“I don’t want to see him, I don’t want to.” She gulped at the thought of facing him again.
“Hey… Adore.” Agnes reached for her hand. “You don’t have anything to worry about, I’ll send someone or I’ll do it myself.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about that, my job is to help you to feel safe.” She smiled to her. “I’ll make sure of that.”

----

Agnes kept her promise to Adore, she was handing in first hand all of the copies to the people she needed. Krystian was the hardest part, the young man tried to intimidate her and scare her and Agnes was not having it.

“You have to be in court in two weeks, don’t act tough with me, it won’t work.”

After she finished with him she drove to Adore’s house, both Frank and Bonnie were sitting outside smoking waiting for her, they put their cigarettes on the asher and joined her inside of the house.

“Bonnie, Frank, good afternoon.” She shook their hands and sat in the couch in front of them.
“How is the… How is everything going with my daughter?” Frank asked her.
“We have our court date set, Krystian’s been informed, those are the documents you must bring that day.”
“Why him?” Bonnie asked her in concern. “I still don’t understand that.”
“Is important to give one copy to this person because if he is not noticed about it he could imply he was not informed and use it on his favor.” Agnes explained to her. “Is Adore here?”
“No, she is one of her friends’ house.” Frank told her. “When are we taking him to court?”
“Two weeks from today.” Agnes said. “I need you to take to court two copies of all the documents and filled forms as it’s said in here, include the proofs; the pictures and reports from the hospital.”
“Do we need to take witnesses?” Bonnie asked her, she was biting her nails nervously.
“You can take them, they may or may not be allowed to speak but you can also bring a written statement of what the witnesses saw or heard just in case the judge doesn’t allow them to speak.”
“Thank you, Agnes, I don’t know what we would do without you.” Bonnie said.
“You don’t need to thank me.”
“No, I do.” She got up and hugged her. “I thank you for everything you’ve done for my family.”

They walked her to the door and saw her as she left on her car.

“I never thought I would see that woman again since we got divorced, you know, Bon?”
“Me neither… It’s… It’s getting late, Frank.”
“Yeah, it is… I’ll head over to my house, tell Adore I’ll come pick her up that day.”
“I will…”
“See you, Bon.”
“Goodbye, Frank.”

Frank walked towards his car, he turned around and looked again at Bonnie.

“Do you want to go have dinner? We can talk if you want.”
“No, you know I don’t.”

Bonnie entered her house and slammed closed the door, Frank nodded, he lit a cigarette and drove away on his car, that was a whole lot of a woman.

----

Two weeks later, Adore’s house.

Katya and Jinkx had spent over the night before the trial, Katya had slept with Adore on her bed while Jinkx took a futon and slept on the floor next to them.

In the morning all of them got ready in silence, both Jinkx and Katya tried to cheer Adore up but she was always silent, she had been like this since the incident happened and none of them knew what to do to make her feel better, their best bet had been a pizza and it didn’t work.

“Well, I think you are ready.” Jinkx put away the brush and gave her a last look.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, look in the mirror.” Jinkx said, she was right, she looked good, Jinkx had done a simple but cute makeup on her. “What do you think?”
“I like it, I don’t look like shit.”

Katya entered the room, she was wearing a black dress Bonnie had lend her, she put on her heels and looked at Adore.

“Let me fix your hair.” She brushed Adore’s hair and braided the half of it. “I never thought we would have to do something like this…” Katya said, she hugged her waist and placed her head on Adore’s shoulder. “I think you are really brave, you know.”
“Thank you…”
“I hope the judge may let us speak.” Jinkx added.
“I hope that too.” The three girls saw Chris enter Adore’s room, she got up and hugged him. “Oh Adore, I’m sorry I got you into this mess.” She heard how her friend’s voice was cracking.
“Chris, this is not your fault, ok? It’s not.” She looked at him, Chris’ face had a mask of sadness. “Now you have the chance to help me and that’s good.”
“Yeah, I’ll do my best.”
“I know you will.”

----

Adore walked into the court with Jinkx’s and Katya’s hands, Agnes joined her and explained her how things were going to go, she also told her that it was probably that Judge McMichaels was going to ask her to testify so she had to remain calm.

But that was going to be difficult, she saw Krystian sitting with his lawyer next to their table on the courtroom, when he turned to the side she noticed a scar on his eyebrow and on his lip, she looked over at Frankie and her dad, she now understood why they had their hands hurt a few weeks ago.

She walked with Agnes to their table, when she sat down she heard steps towards her, it were Krystian’s.

“Adore.” He tried to walk to her but her dad was faster.
“Don’t even try, wey, go back to your seat.” Krystian gave him an angry look but he did was he was told to do, her dad looked over at her and winked his eye, he went back to his seat with her mom.
“Hey, everything will be fine, we have everything in our favor.” Agnes whispered in her ear.

The trial started, the lawyers and the witnesses spoke for what it felt like hours to judge McMichaels, some of them tried to cover Krystian while her friends tried to save her.
“They jury asks witness number seven to testify.” The guard said.
“Tell your name for the record.” Judge McMichaels told her.
“Jeanette Monsoon.”
“Raise your right, do you solemnly swear to say the truth, the whole truth and nothing else than the truth with the help of God?”
“I do.”
“You can start now, lawyer Moore.” The judge said.
“When was the first time you noticed something was wrong between Miss Delano and Mr. Francuski?” Agnes asked her.
“A little bit after Adore was eliminated from American Idol.”
“What did you see?”
“He was being really jealous of everyone, the people in our school was proud of her and a lot of them would talk with her, hug her, ask her for autographs, all of that stuff and every time this happened he would get angry and even aggressive.”
“Aggressive in which way?”
“He would yell at her, grab her and call her names.”
“What kind of names?”

Jinkx looked over at her, Adore pressed her lips and nodded.

“He would call her whore, slut, prostitute, all of these kind of names.”
“Thank you, Miss Monsoon.”

Katya was next.

“Tell your name for the record, please.”
“Katya Zamo.”
“Tell your full name.”
“Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova but Katya Zamo for shorter.”
“Raise your right, do you solemnly swear to say the truth, the whole truth and nothing else than the truth with the help of God?”
“I do.”
“Miss Zamolodchikova, did you ever witness an aggressive behavior from Mr. Francuski towards Miss Delano?” Agnes asked her.
“Yes, a lot of times, sometimes in our school and other on the street or even in her house; he would yell at her and push her.”
“What about the night of April 25th?”
“The night she had to go to the hospital we had a party at my house, we didn’t invite him ‘cause we knew he would get controlling with her and we wanted to have a fun time with our friend. In the party a friend in common attended, Chris Crocker, we spent a while with him and took a couple of pictures, then Krystian showed up.”
“And what happened?”
“She yelled at us and dragged Adore outside of the party, we couldn’t stop him. The next thing we knew was that Adore had to be taken to the hospital.”
“No further questions, thank you so much, Miss Zamolodchikova.”

The doctors were next, Adore saw how doctor Minj talked about the injuries she had suffer.
“There’s one more thing I want to ask you.” Agnes said. “It is known that my client suffered more than insults, punches, two broken ribs and a injury on her neck, she also suffered a miscarriage.”
“Objection! My client didn’t know about that.”
“Your honor, all the documents were handed to him in first person, including the miscarriage report that also your honor has.”
“Proceed, Miss Moore.”
“Doctor Minj, what was what leaded my client to suffer the miscarriage?”
“The punches and kicks she receive from the aggressor.” She said on the microphone. “Those were the cause of the miscarriage.”
“No further questions, your honor.”

Krystian’s lawyer talked after them, Adore didn’t pay attention to him, she was lost on her thoughts.

“Miss Delano?” She heard the judge calling her.
“Yes?”
“We need you to explain to us the events of that day.”

She felt panic, she could feel the eyes of Krystian burning on her side.

“Come on, sweetheart.” Agnes squeezed her shoulder. “You can do this, pretend you are talking just with me.”
“Ok… I’ll do it, I can do it.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear.”

Adore walked to the witness box with the guard, she sat next to the judge.

“Your name for the record, please.”
“Adore Danielle Delano.”
“Raise your right, do you solemnly swear to say the truth, the whole truth and nothing else than the truth with the help of God?”
“I do.” The guard walked away and nodded to the judge.
“Miss Adore.” The judge looked at her as she talked. “Can you describe the events that took place on April 25th?”
“Yes, your honor.” She looked at Agnes, she gave her a warm smile. “That had been a rough day, we had taken a lot of exams and we were really stressed so Katya decided to do a party, it was a Friday night and we thought it would be a good way to distress.”
“Which friend?”
“Katya… I mean, Yekaterina.”
“Ok, please continue.”
“I was gonna invite Krystian to the party but they said that this was gonna be a girls night out, no boyfriends at all and I said yes. The party started, we had a few drinks, danced a little and after a few hours Chris showed up, I hadn’t seen him in a while so I decided to sit with him a little bit apart from the party so we could talk and we were just having fun when he showed up-“
“You were cheating on me with him, don’t play the victim, Adore!” She looked at him, he was already on her feet, the guard walked to his seat and made him sit again.
“Mr. Francuski, if you don’t behave I’ll make my guards take you out of the courtroom, do you understand?” Judge Michaels asked him.
“… I do.”
“Good. Miss Delano, continue please.”
“He showed up and he was angry and drunk, he dragged me out of the party and took me to my house, there was no one there that day; my brothers were in a game with our dad and my mom was in my grandmother’s house. He took advantage of that and… What is on the pictures happened.”
“Could you explain a little bit more of what happened to us?”

Adore start to feel nervous, she looked at her family, her dad had a very serious face and her mom was looking at her.

“You can do it, baby.” Adore read on her lips.

She took a deep breath and looked at the judge.

“He punched me, he he kicked my stomach several times and threw me against the wall, I lost conscious after that.”
“Thank you, Miss Adore, you can go back to your seat.”

Agnes walked to her and took her hand.

“I knew you could do it, you are brave.” She whispered to her and rubbed her hand on her back.
“Ok, I heard all of you are talking about some Chris Crocker… Is he here?”
“Yes, your honor.” He got up from his seat that was on the back of the court. “I’m Christopher Cunningham, Chris Crocker is my artistic name.”
“Come to the witness box, please.”

Chris sat on the witness box and started to answer all the questions the judge, Agnes and Krys’ lawyer asked him without hesitating a single time, Adore was really proud of calling him friend.

“Mr. Cunningham, how can we know that what Miss Adore says it’s true? How can we make sure she was not cheating my client with you?” The lawyer asked him.
“Sorry for what I am about to say, but are you fucking blind? I am gay.”
“You are gay?”
“And to prove it I brought my boyfriend here, he is right there.” All of the people on the court turned around and saw a guy sitting in the last row. “Jeff and I have been dating for three months, that’s what I was talking about with Adore when Krystian showed up-“
“That’s a lie!”
“Krys, for the love of God, I am gay, as gay as Divine. I. AM. GAY.”
“You all are lying!”
“Mr. Francuski, remember what I told you?” Judge McMichaels saw him nod. “Good, Mr. Cunningham, you can go back to your seat, thank you so much.” The judge looked at her documents one last time and looked at them again. “I think I have everything to make a decision.” She said. “Mr. Francuski, by order of this court you are sentenced to do community service for 30 months and are no longer allowed without a thousand yards of miss Adore, her residence, job and center of studies.”
“Ok…”
“Do you understand how far a thousand yards is?”
“Yes, I do.”
“If you don’t respect that you’re going to jail, understood?”
“Understood.”
“Then we’re done here, next case.”

----

“Thank you, Agnes, thank you so much.” Adore hugged her lawyer tightly against her body, she hugged her back.
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do! You saved me, you saved me!”
“Just promise me that you won’t get into anymore troubles.”
“I promise.”
“Good to know.” She petted her back. “Have a good time in Herb Alpert.”
“I will!”

Adore saw her lawyer leave, she was so grateful she had taken her case.

Katya and Jinkx hugged her from her back, her family joined the embrace and Adore cried, she cried on her friends shoulders, she was finally freed from him.

She was free to finally be herself.

Chapter Text

"Come on, Adore! I don't want you falling asleep around, it's almost five thirty and our rush hour it's starting!" Adore heard her boss say, she put on her uniform and walked out to the counter.
"Latrice, where it's the almond milk?"
"Large freezer behind the coconut milk, bring all out for the lactose intolerant people… You finally arrive, Alaska! What took you so long, girl?"

Adore did as Latrice told her to, she took the milk out and put it on the small freezer they used on the counter, she helped Alaska putting everything in order while Latrice walked to the door.

“Where’s Willam? You’re here just scolding me for being late and that bitch must still be sleeping.” Alaska said as she put on her apron and her hair in bun. “Besides this is not even my shift, I’m only covering Jinkx!”
“Willam asked me to give her some days off, she and her girlfriend are moving to a better loft.”
“What!? So girl gets to go fuck her girl while we have to cover her?” Alaska gasped dramatically and let herself fall on the counter. “That’s not faaaaaair!”
“Don’t act like you don’t go to the back freezer to make out with Sharon when she arrives.” Adore told her making Alaska laugh.
“You didn’t have to say that out loud, blue bitch.”
“Are you renting them your old loft, Trice?” Adore asked Latrice while ignoring Alaska.
“No.” Latrice said as she put the chairs down from the tables. “I’m still letting my friend Buns’ protegée stay there.”
“Why?” Alaska asked her.
“Because she needed somewhere to stay, enough talk you two, we don’t have as many hands as always so I’ll take care of the cashier machine and you two will take care of the coffee and the food.” Latrice put on the open sign, Adore saw the morning rush approaching and chasked her fingers. “Come on, let’s get to work.”

----

Adore sighed, she flushed the toilet and looked at her reflection while she washed her hands, her lipstick was gone and her hair looked messy after her six hours shift, she dried her hands on her apron and took off the bodypin that was holding back her bangs.

“I can put on lipstick when I arrive to school.”

She walked out to the staff room and grabbed her backpack.

“Adore, do you have a minute?” She heard Latrice say, she took off her backpack and walked to the front with her.
“Sure, what’s up?”
“Sharon wants to know if you can cover her tomorrow, it seems she and Kat have some weird art homework that will take all of their time tomorrow.”

They heard the front door open and Jinkx fall in the back.

“Oh fuck!”

Both of them turned around and saw Jinkx on the floor with a lot of milk boxes on top of her, Latrice shook her head and looked back at her.”

“I’ll take care of your witchy friend, can you attend this client?”
“Sure, no problem.” Adore put on her apron again and went to the counter. “Welcome to Latrice’s dining, what can I serve you today?”
“Hi, my name is Lorena from the news on channel seven, can the idol answer some questions?”

Adore looked alarmed at the woman, she hadn’t pay attention before but she had a recorder out and little notebook on her right hand.

“I… This is not a good moment for that.”
“You’ve been out of the public eye for the last two years, is it because of your incident where you were hospitalized?”
“What? No!”
“Is the idol working on new music or are you going to keep hiding in the dark?”
“I mean it when I say that this is not a good time.”
“Are you scared of your public or-”
“She said this is not a good time, Lorena.”

Adore saw a short woman grab the recorder from the reporter’s hand, she was wearing a tight blue dress and high heels, the woman had a tough look on her eyes as she looked at the reporter and put the recorder away.
“What are you doing? Give it back, it’s for my job!”
“Your job it’s to report, not to be a bitch.” She said without taking her eyes off of her. “Now leave the kid alone before I smash this thing with my heel.”

The reporter grabbed her recorder back and walked out of the shop as fast as she could, Adore sighed relieved, even now two years later there were still some people invested on finding a new way to bring her down, Adore looked back at the woman, she was looking at her now but not on the same way she had looked at the reporter, it was a way softer look but it didn’t make Adore feel calm, she felt kind of intimidated by those eyes with such a heavy make-up.

“Are you ok, Blue?” Adore felt her cheeks burning, she put her hands on her chest and nodded. “I’m glad, can you give me a black coffee with little sugar?”
“Su-sure.” Adore grabbed a cup and her golden marker. “What’s your name?”
“Bianca.”

Adore saw the woman walk to one of the tables and take a sit facing the window, Adore shook her head and wrote her name on the cup, after a few seconds of thinking she added a Superman ‘S’ next to her name, she walked to the coffee machine and started to prepare it. Why on earth was she so nervous? It was just another customer that had been nice to her, she didn’t need to get nervous, she was not the first person to save her from a rude reporter or paparazzi. Adore turned around and saw the woman’s back, she couldn’t see her face.

Fuck.

She finished preparing her coffee and put two sugar cubes on top of the cup, she took a long breath and walked towards the woman.

“Bianca?”

The woman looked up at Adore, fuck, her eyes were such a pretty color, they were grayish or kind of blue, Adore wasn’t sure.

“Yes?”

Adore shook slightly her head and handed her the cup.

“I was not sure of what your concept of ‘little sugar’ was so I didn’t add any and brought you two sugar cubes.”
“Thank you.”
“Adore!” Adore looked back at the counter and saw Latrice holding her backpack. “Don’t you have a class in 20 minutes or so?”
“Shit, you’re right!” She took of her apron and undid her hair, she put it inside her backpack and ran outside. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Trice!”
“See you tomorrow, Adore!”

As Adore walked away with her bike she turned around to give another look to the woman she had prepared the black coffee for, she saw Latrice hugging the woman and scream as the woman hugged her back.

“What the hell?”

She heard the beeping of the lights turning green for her, she got on her bike and rode her way to college, after a few minutes of riding she entered the university’s parking lot, she left her bike with the guard and ran to her building, she arrived to her classroom and sat on the third row of chairs, Willam was already there painting her nails black.

“What took you so long, door?”
“I made 15 minutes as always, Mr. Hall hasn’t arrived yet, girl.”
“It’s still late for you, tho.”
“Fuck off.”

Adore opened her backpack and took her notebook out, she rested her head on it and grabbed Willam’s water bottle.

“You finished moving, girl?”
“Almost, we still need to take our couch and the shit she uses for her work.” Willam took back her bottle. “You can’t have my water if you don’t tell me why you were late.”

Adore rolled her eyes.

“Fine, Jinkx fell and I had to cover her while Latrice helped her out, that was all.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, bitch now give me water.” Adore grabbed back the bottle and took a long sip, Willam put her nail polish away and gave her a fun look. “That’s not what Jinkx said it happened, she said you got a crush on a customer too.”

Adore spat the water and looked at her friend.
“What? I didn’t get a crush on anyone! What the fuck is she talking about?”

Willam laughed and showed Adore her old phone, it was a text from Jinkx.

Jinkxy Witchy: adore got a crush on a lady!!! she was all red and nervous
Jinkxy Witchy: she even drw a superman on her cup!!! Latrice is having her life :DD

Adore read the message again and felt her cheeks getting warm, Willam laughed again and grabbed her cellphone back.

“Look at you all read and in love! Bitch got a new crush!”
“Don’t talk chingaderas, Will.” Adore said. “I’m not in love, what happened was another paparazzi following me, she scared her away and that’s why I put the superman on her cup, nothing to make a scene about it.”
“Oh come on, you didn’t think she was at least a little bit cute?”

Adore looked at the door, Tatianna was entering the classroom with Mr. Hall, she offered Adore a big smile and walked towards her.

“Hey cute.”
“Hi gorgeous.”

They shared a small kiss, Tatianna smiled again and sat in front of her, Adore wrote a little note and passed it to Willam, she read it and rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, bitch but we are not done.”
“Good day, class, hope you have a good morning and a good week.” He said and grabbed a marker from his backpack. “Take out your notebooks, today’s topic is vocal recordings.”

----

“Why is everyone talking about a woman named Bianca? What did I miss?” Katya asked her from the couch where she was upside down reading a book Laganja had forgotten in their apartment the last time she had been there. “Are you going to tell me or not, Adore?”
“Just a lady from the dining, Jinkx and Willam are just overreacting over anything.”
“That’s some bullshit, Adore.”
“And besides I’m still going out with Tati if you don’t remember.” Adore said as she poured three bowls of ramen, she put them on their coffee table, an old chest Katya had found on the trash that Jinkx had painted and written “coffee table” on its side, she sat on the floor and grabbed her bowl. “Wanna know something about it?”
“I am always down for a good old gossip.” Katya said still upside down on the couch. “You get it?”
“I think I did get a little crush on Bianca but not a crush like Hinata following Naruto around, just…”
“Just what?” Jinkx asked her and sat with her on the floor.
“Kinda like Milk at the beginning with Goku, like that.”
“You do know those two end up marrying each other, right?”
“Agh! Stop it!” Both Katya and Jinkx laughed, Adore took a bite of the boiled egg and drank her coke. “No, it’s like a bus crush, I just saw her, I liked her and I’m never gonna see her again and I’m ok with that, it’s just like a bus crush and people don’t marry their bus crush so don’t give me that look, Jeanette.”

Jinkx shook her head, they heard their house phone ring and Jinkx was the one to answer it.

“I thought that shit was broken.” Katya said and sat on the floor next to Adore.
“No one uses that shit, just Jinkx.”
“Adore, it’s Sharon! She asks if you can exchange your shift with her tomorrow!”
“Tell her I say yes!”

Adore finished her ramen and rested her head on Katya’s lap, she grabbed the book Katya was reading.

“What the hell is this?”
“Looking for Alaska, it was banned on a lot of schools, that’s why I’m reading it.”
“Weird.”

Adore got up and put on her combat boots, she grabbed her cigarettes and opened the door.

“Where are you going?”
“To see Tati, why?”
“Nothing.”
“Have fun looking for your great perhaps!”
“Maybe Bianca is that for you and you don’t know it yet!”

Adore showed them her middle finger and walked down the stairs, Tatianna was already waiting for her, they walked down the avenue holding their hands.

Being with Tatianna felt good, she didn’t understand why her friends were insisting on Bianca that much, she had just seen her once.

And she was finally happy just like this.

They sat on a bench and shared a cigarette, Tatianna kissed her and held her hand.

How could Adore change this for someone she had just met? She was not crazy, she looked at Tatianna and smiled.

She was sure this was where she was supposed to be.

Chapter Text

Adore turned off her alarm, eight thirty in the morning, today she had exchanged her shift with Sharon. She turned around and saw Tatianna still sleeping covered with her blanket to her nose, she smiled and kissed her forehead.

"Baby, I'm gonna take a shower."

Tatianna nodded without opening her eyes, Adore got up and grabbed her towel, she took a quick shower but didn't wash her hair, she didn't want her dye to come out so fast. Adore put on her black jeans and ironed her hair with Katya's iron and grabbed her flannel from Katya's closet, she should have known Katya was the one who had taken it from her closet.

"Baby."

Adore turned to the door and saw Tatianna already on her clothes.

"Yes, gorgeous?"
"I'm hungry, what if we go to have breakfast with Latrice? You can stay there for your shift."

Adore looked at her phone, it was nine thirty, she still had an hour.

"Sure."

They got on Tatianna's car, Adore put on the music, Tatianna always let her choose the music whenever she was driving.

No es que sea mala onda
Pero te lo voy a decir
De alguién me he enamorado
Y con más fuerza que de ti
Ya lo veía venir

"I like that song."
"It's in Spanish, you don't even know what it says."
"I do not but I like to hear you sing in Spanish." Tatianna said and pulled a lock of Adore's blue hair. "It sounds sexy."
"¡Qué poca madre!" Tatianna laughed, Adore kissed her cheek and continued singing the song for her. "¡Te juro no quería hacerlo, pero al final te puse el cuerno!"
“What’s the name of the group?”
“Moderatto, I love them, they have cool music I can practice my spanish to.”

Tatianna parked in front of the dining, they got off of the car and entered the dining. Latrice was in the cashing machine again and Sharon was arguing with a lady.

"Karen, this coffee is not for you, I asked you to wait for your name and that's what you need to do." Sharon said and called out another name. "Shannel! Miss Shannel, your coffee is ready!"
"Goth girl, listen to me!"
"Miss Shannel?"

Sharon spot Adore, she pointed at the lady looking fed up, Adore nodded.

"Baby, give me a second to help Sharon."
"Go, Wonder Woman."

Adore ran and step behind the counter, she took the cup from Sharon and called out for the lady's name, a lady wearing only black and gorgeous makeup approached.

"Shannel?"
"That would be me." She took the cup and looked at her name on it, Sharon had drawn a bat next to her name, the woman laughed and put a dollar on the tips' jar.

Adore smiled and turned to the woman that was still fighting Sharon, she looked at Latrice.

"Go ahead, Dorey. If you make her leave I'll give you and Tatianna a free sandwich." Latrice whispered to her.
"You got a deal." Jinkx had a cup on her hand, it read Karen on it, Adore took it and approached Sharon and the woman. "Excuse me, Karen, gorgeous name by the way."
"Compliments won't get you away, kid."
"I'm not looking for that, here you have your coffee and you can get going."
"Such horrid coffee this would be with such horrible people attending here." She took the lid of the cup and took a sip, she waited a few seconds and took another sip. "This…"
"Coffee extracted from the beautiful lands of Chiapas, extracted with the millenarian tradition of the Chiapas' people and brought just for you."
"Just for me?"
"Yes, Karen and this amazing people accept tips."

She winked at her and pointed at the jar next to Latrice, Karen took another sip and looked at Adore.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"
"No. I don't think so, I would never forget such beautiful hairdo."

Adore heard Sharon chuckle, she stepped on her feet and smiled to Karen again, Karen smiled and put a five dollar bill on the jar, she left the dining without saying a word.

"I think I got me and my girl a sandwich, Trice. What sandwich do you want, baby?"
"Chicken with no ranch!"
"Chicken with no ranch for my baby and I want mine with only ham and cheese, please!"

Latrice laughed but nodded.

"Sharon, you stay with the cashing machine and Jinkx with the coffee, give me a second."

Adore laughed, she joined Tatianna at their table and kissed her nose.

"Nice one, baby.”

Tatianna started to talk about her final credits, she was close to graduating and that made Adore really proud since she had two more years before she could graduate, Adore heard a scandalous laugh across the dining, she looked at the window that was opposite to her and Tatianna and saw Bianca, she was wearing a black pencil skirt and a white long-sleeved blouse, her hair was again in a tight bun and her makeup looked as beautiful as the day before and the glasses she was wearing couldn’t hide it, she had a coffee cup and was talking to someone on the phone.

“Adore, are you listening to me?”
“I…” Adore shook her head. “I’m sorry, I got a little bit distracted.”

Tatianna hummed, she finished her sandwich and kissed her temple.

“I have to go, I’ll call you later.”
“Yes… Have a good day.”

Adore grabbed her backpack and ran to the back of the store, she entered the staff room and took a long breath holding herself in one of the chairs, she heard someone laugh, she looked up and saw Katya sitting on their table sipping from a Hello Kitty cup.

"What are you doing here?"
"We told you Sharon and I had a homework together, I need to take her with me before Alaska arrives." Katya took another sip and gave her a curious look. “Is that my flannel?”
“This is my flannel, idiot.” Adore said. “You had it in your closet.” Adore dropped her phone on the floor. “Shit!”
"Why so nervous, girl? Is lady Bianca out there?"
"What!? No! What in the hell are you talking about? She's not there." Adore put her hair in a high bun and a cap, she put her apron on and checked her makeup on the bathroom. “Besides that’s none of your business.”
"Which lady is her? The one with the girl dressed in pink?"
"Katya!" Adore put her lipstick down and looked at her. "Muévete a la chingada, órale."
"Whatever, girl."

Adore showed Katya her middle finger and walked to the counter with Sharon.

"Why didn't you tell Karen to fuck off?"

Adore didn't have time to put on a surprised face, she looked at the counter and saw Bianca looking at her with a bored look on her eyes, Adore saw that her cup had red lipstick smeared on the cap.

"I… I don't like getting into trouble that much.”
“Oh come on, you look like a girl who would steal a cart from Walmart and run with it on the avenue.” Bianca took off her glasses and smiled to her, Adore didn’t know Bianca needed glasses, she looked good with them. “Am I right?”
“I-”
“You’re absolutely right!” Katya jumped to Adore’s back and smiled to Bianca. “We did that in our first semester in college, didn’t we Sharon?”
“Oh, yes!” Sharon joined them stepping on Adore’s converse. “Adore sat on the cart and Katya here pushed her, I had another cart with my girlfriend but Latrice caught us.”
“They ran away from me.” Latrice said and handed Bianca a croissant for take out. “Then Katya and Adore fell to the ground and I had to help them to get up.”

Adore covered her face, she could feel her cheeks getting warm, she was sure you could see her getting red under her foundation.

“I can’t blame them, I mean I wouldn’t do it because I’m old but do you know who did it?”
“Who?” Latrice asked her, Adore looked at Bianca still covering half of her face.
“Raja and Dela, when we had a roadtrip to Timberlane there was this weird lady named Tammie, we went to see her before we headed back to Dela’s house.”
“Tammie is the weird lady that went to see you when you played Elphaba, the one that told me about the time she found a dead body?”
“Yes, that lady.”

The girls shared a confused look.

“A dead body?” Adore mouthed to her friends, none of them looked confused but intrigued.
“Tammie had this shopping cart she stole from a store I don’t remember, but she let Raja borrow it, she and Dela had a lot of fun running around with it.”
“And what did you do?” Adore asked her, she rested her elbows on the counter and looked at Bianca. “I mean, you said you didn’t do something like what we did so I assume you didn’t ride the cart.”
“I stayed with Tammie, she had this little chihuahua that was really cute.”
“Bianca has a soft spot for chihuahuas, she adores them.” Latrice whispered to the girls and passed Bianca a take-out bag.
“Shut it, Latrice!” Bianca said and checked her watch, she took another sip from her cup and handed Adore a five bill.
“And you two.” Latrice grabbed Katya’s and Sharon’s arms. “Have to go now before Alaska arrives, go, come on!”

Adore laughed as Latrice took the girls out, Bianca put the paper bag on her purse and looked at Adore.

“I normally don’t see you around at this time of the day, it’s been two days in a row, Blue.”
“Oh, it’s been a coincidence I think.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I normally work the first shift and I leave in the moment I’m done.” Adore said, she hid her hands on her apron as she talked to Bianca. “I got classes at college.”
“That’s good, I remember my days as a student, it was wild.” Bianca took another sip of her coffee and put her glasses on. “It’s getting late and I still have work to do, I’ll see you tomorrow!”
“Yeah…” Adore held the bill Bianca had given her and saw her leave, she handed it to Latrice.
“So you finally met Bianca.” She heard Jinkx tell her friends, Adore slapped Jinkx’s hand.
“Why haven’t you left?.”
“Aweee, you’re already talking like her!”
“Oh my God, Latrice tell them something!”
“Leave her alone, girls.” She got up from her chair and grabbed Sharon and Katya from their shoulders. “You two had a project to work on and Alaska is arriving in any moment, leave now.”

Adore sat in front of the cashing machine and saw the bill Bianca had given her, it had a lipstick stain on it, she smiled and put it inside the machine. She heard Alaska arriving just after Katya and Sharon left, Jinkx told her about what had happened with Bianca making Alaska scream and clap her hands.

“Ohhh, so Shar and Kat met her!”
“Yes!”
“Ohhh, I wished I had arrived earlier.”
“Yes, me too.” Latrice handed her the cleaning supplies. “Stop making Adore uncomfortable and clean the tables, kid.”

Adore smiled and mouthed a thank you to Latrice, Latrice patted her back and sat with her.

“Can I ask you something, kid?”
“Sure, Trice.”
“Does the girls not like Tatianna or why are they insisting so much with the Bianca thing?”
“They don’t get along with Tati that much, Katya likes her but the other girls don’t.” Adore handed the girl in front of her her change. “They had a situation with her before I met her and haven’t gotten along since then.” Adore closed the machine, she didn’t want to keep talking about it. “Wait, you said Bianca played Elphaba in Wicked?”
“Yes!” Latrice said. “When Bianca studied college she lived with me and my friend Buns in New York with our support group.”
“Your support group?”
“Yes, my friend Buns founded the group a while ago and has helped a lot of queer kids around the country with it, some of them lived with us for a while in her studio, Bianca was one of them while she studied theater and fashion design.” Latrice told her as she drank a bottle of water, Adore handed a boy his change and looked back at Latrice. “She was in a lot of musicals in Broadway when she graduated; Wicked as you now know, A Saint she ain’t, Rent-”
“Rent!? Oh my God, I love that musical! I went to see it when they were on tour! Who did she play?”
“She played Mimi.”
“Mimi? Oh my God! Do you think I can find somewhere her performance?”
“I think they had it in a gallery in New York, I can call Buns and asked her to send us a copy.”
“Yes, please! I would love to!”

Latrice gave her a fun look, Adore felt her cheeks getting hot again, she looked away and nervously laughed.

“For educative reasons, of course.”

Latrice laughed and patted her leg.

“I’ll call her tonight.”

Adore thanked her and continued her shift with Alaska teasing her, she ignored her and wondered what Bianca must have looked like as Mimi, she couldn’t imagine her; Mimi was such a flirty and outgoing character and she couldn’t see how Bianca could portray that. She had only seen her twice but couldn’t see Mimi in her.

…

What was she doing? She had said it, her crush with Bianca was a bus crush, she was going to be fine when it passed and it wasn’t going to last. Yes, it was not going to last, she just wanted to see her Mimi version for educative reasons, that was it.

Alaska and Adore finished their shifts and each headed home, Adore rode her bike along the road until she arrived to the complex she lived, she noticed there was a new graffiti on the wall next to the peach tree, it was the figure of a woman hidden in a tree, she saw the signings on the bottom of the tree.

“So this was their project… I like it.”

Adore walked with her bike to her apartment, she chained next to the others and climbed the stairs, she opened the door and found Katya and Jinkx eating a pizza.

“Door!” Katya greed her and passed her a slice. “Just in time, we saved you three slices and a beer.”
“Thanks, dude.” She took a bite of the slice and opened the can with her free hand, the trio remained silent as they finished the pizza, Adore burped and Katya screamed.
“I can’t take it anymore!”
“What can’t you take anymore?”

Katya crawled to her and got in front of her face.

“Bianca is fucking hot! Now I know why you got a crush on her!”
“Katya!”
“Don’t worry, I won’t do a thing.” Katya sat on top of a plastic box they had next to their “coffee table”. “I have my eyes on the girl who was transferred from Wisconsin, she’s a real live doll.”
“Beatrice?”
“Yes, she looks like she survived the vulcan death grip.”
“She looks like what?” Jinkx asked Katya and looked away from her book.
“That Beatrice looks hot.” Adore told her and Katya nodded excitedly.
“Oh, what a way to say it.” Jinkx took her book and Adore’s beer. “I’ll be in my room without making a sound and pretending I don’t exist, bye.”
“Wait, that’s my… Beer.”
“She is kinda stressed, she has a test tomorrow.” Katya said and grabbed a mango juice from their fridge.
“Another one?”
“Yes, don’t tell her anything.”

Adore sighed, she took the trash out and went to her room, she checked her phone and saw zero messages, she rested her chin on her desk and gave her computer a look.

“Bianca played Mimi.”

She turned it on and opened the browser, she typed her search.

Actrices who played Mimi Rent in Broadway

And waited for the results to appear… It didn’t load, she walked to her living room and saw Jinkx talking on the phone.

“Jinkx.” Her redheaded friend looked at her. “I need to use the internet, are you going to spend a lot of time on the phone?”
“Give me five minutes.”

Adore nodded, she went back to her room and looked at her computer, it was still loading, she hit her forehead on the desk and sighed. These were the longest five minutes of her fucking life, she could hear the ticking of her clock next to her bed.

tic toc, tic toc, tic toc

“I’m done, dude.” She heard Jinkx tell her, Adore sat back on her chair and refreshed the page. “What are you searching anyway?”
“Info for… my homework for Mr. Hall.”
“Are you though?”
“I am, girl.”

Jinkx didn’t seem to believe her, she just closed her door and left, it lasted like a minute or so but Adore founded it, the complete list:

“Daphne was the first one and then… Here she is, Bianca… Bianca del Río? That’s a super hispanic name.”

Adore continued looking for Bianca online, she noticed there was information from her starting from the nineties, that meant she was older than her.
“

She must be on her thirties now…”

Bianca del Río is a sensation for young and old!

“A sensation?”
Bianca del Río is the latest cast member added to the Broadway sensation play Rent, her opening night put a spell on the present people in the theater and made cry more than one person in the audience.
Del Río is part of the well known Haus of Bunny ran by Bernadette Portendorfer, known for her activism for LGBT people in New York City and the United States, Portendorfer promises that her protegee has more to offer for the hungry audiences.

“Hmm… hungry audiences?”

Adore kept looking for information, there were a lot of photos and articles, she worked now as a designer and had stopped acting.

“But why? I don’t get it.”

----

“What’s your name, girl?”
“Shangela, want me to spell it for you?”
“Nah, I got it.” Willam wrote the name on the cup and passed it to Adore. “It feels good to be back, bitch.”
“A five days vacation makes you good?” Adore asked her as she prepared the cappuccino the girl had asked for.
“Girl, I haven’t had that much sex in ages! Without the woman she shared her old apartment with we can do and make the noise we want without a problem.”
“Ew! Willam shut up!” Adore laughed and put the cap on the cup and walked to the counter. “Shablangela? Shablangela?” She heard Willam laugh as a short woman approached to her. “My name is Shangela, blue girl, not Shablangela!”
“So you don’t want it?”
“Give it to me, the disrespect!”
“Come back soon, Shangie!” Willam shouted as the girl left, Adore rolled her eyes and grabbed the cup Willam passed her. “Who the fuck is called this?”
“You just prepare the expresso girl wants and don’t ask questions, dick head.”

Adore rolled her eyes again, she put the cup under the machine and pressed the button, she would ask Latrice to have an expresso before continuing her shift, she had stayed up late looking for information or the performance on Bianca but hadn’t been successful, there were photos but no videos and she wanted the performance, not just a picture.

“Gina Gum? Gina Gum!”
“My name is Gia Gunn, with double N, girl!”

Adore gave the cup a closer look to the cup, it were two Ns, not an M.

“I’m sorry, Gia, my bad.”

The girl angrily took the cup but put a dollar on their tips jar, Adore sighed and closed her eyes, it was just nine in the morning and she already felt like shit.

“Trice, can I have a little break to have a coffee? I didn’t sleep that much last night.”
“Sure, Adore, don’t worry I’ll cover you.”

Adore served herself a expresso and sat in the sidewalk in front of the dining, she grabbed a cigarette from her apron.

“Where’s my… where’s my lighter?”

She heard a small click in front of her, she looked up and saw Bianca with a lighter on in front of her.

“Guess you need a little fire, Blue?”

Adore nodded, she lit her cigarette with Bianca’s lighter and smiled to her.

“Thank you, Miss Bianca.”
“Don’t call me miss, it makes me feel old.” Bianca sat on the bench Latrice had outside and looked back at Adore. “Keep calling me Bianca.”
“Sure, Bianca.”

They remained silent for a little bit, Adore saw Bianca take a cigarette as well from her purse and lit it, Bianca looked back at her.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

Shit, shit, shit. Latrice must have told her about the musical, does she know I looked info about her online? Shit, shit, shit!
“Sure, what is it?”
“You’re a singer, right?”
“Oh, yes, yes I am.” How does she know I’m a singer? Oh my God, someone must have told her, shit.
“My friend and have own a studio not very far from here, we’re doing a TV commercial for it and need some music for it, do you think you can help us with that?”
“What? Me?” Adore got up and looked at Bianca. “But you don’t know my work, why do you want me to do it?”

Bianca smiled, she put her cigarette between her lips and looked for something on her purse.

“I do know your work, Blue.” Adore looked at what Bianca had taken out of her purse, it was her album.
“My… You-you have my album, oh my God, why do you have my album?” Adore felt like she wanted to throw up, Bianca had heard her music, Jeez, she had heard her music and she knew who she was. Don’t act weird, Adore Danielle, get it fucking together.
“Oh come on, you were a fan favorite when you were on American Idol, my niece only talked about you and bought your album as well, the interns we have on our studio are always listening to your music, I ended up liking it as well.” Bianca put the album back on her purse and blew smoke away from Adore’s face. “I know you’ve had some issues with this in the past and if you don’t want to, I understand.”
“No, no, I’ll do it.” Adore said without thinking twice, Bianca smiled to her and stepped on her cigarette, Adore hadn’t notice it but Bianca had dimples on both sides of her cheeks when she smiled, they showed up a lot when Bianca smiled. “I am down.”
“Great.” Bianca said, she handed her card with something written on the back. “That’s the address for the studio and my personal phone number, can I have yours?”
“Su-sure!” Adore took the pen she used for the take-outs and her small notebook, she wrote it down and drew the doodle of a flower next to her name, she handed it to Bianca,

Bianca smiled when she saw the doodle.

“Latrice told me you don’t work on weekends so I’ll call you friday night, got it?”
“Got it.”

Bianca offered Adore her hand, Adore took it and shook it, she noticed Bianca wore no irng but a lot of bracelets.
“I’ll call you on friday, see you then Blue.”
“See you, Bianca.”

Adore held the card against her chest as she saw Bianca drive away from the parking lot, what had that been!?

“No fucking way!” She heard Willam yell when she entered back, she saw that Willam was on the phone. “You are not going to believe what happened!”

Chapter Text

After her sidewalk encounter on wednesday she didn’t see Bianca again, it was already Friday and Bianca did not step a foot on the dining a single time or called her after that, did she change her mind? She didn’t want her for the commercial anymore? She didn’t understand.

“What movie should I play, Adore?” She heard Katya ask her from their living room, Jinkx had found a VHS player on the trash that still worked and Katya was excited to try it, Adore put her thoughts of Bianca away and grabbed the packs of chips they had on their cabinets with her. “I bought Girl Interrupted, Brother Bear and Tarzan.”
“I wanna watch Brother Bear.” Jinkx said, she passed them a coke to each girl and sat with Katya.
“I wanna see Girl Interrupted, I haven’t seen it in a while.” Adore said and sat on the other sofa, Katya looked at the two movies and jumped in front of the VHS player.
“Let’s watch both, first Brother Bear and Girl Interrupted, what do you think?”
“Whatever.”
“Play it.”

The three friends spent the evening in front of their TV, Adore kept looking at her phone the whole evening to see if Bianca would call her but her phone remained silent through the first movie, the only thing that she could hear was Jinkx and Katya holding each other as the movie ended.

“That was so beautiful! He chose to remain a bear to take care of Koda! He is so good.”
“Such a good boy!”
“Kenai wouldn’t have to do that if he hadn’t kill Koda’s mom in the first place, you know?”
“Don’t kill the mood, idiot!”

Adore laughed and went to the kitchen with Katya to grab another bag on chips while Jinkx put the other movie, she felt her phone vibrate on her bra, she took it out and saw Bianca’s name on the screen, she immediately pressed the green button and pressed the phone against her ear.

“Bianca?”
“Hi, Blue. Sorry about the hour, did I wake you up?”
“No, don’t worry about that, I was just watching some movies with my roommates.” Katya gestured to her cellphone, Adore nodded and Katya clapped her hands, Jinkx looked at her interested and put her coke down.
“Is that Bianca from the dining?” Adore nodded as Jinkx whispered. “Let it be like water of a duck’s back, Adore you got this!”
“I didn’t see you yesterday or today.” Adore said as she ran to her bedroom with Katya and Jinkx running behind her, she slammed her door closed and heard someone run into the door who she was sure had been Katya, she sat on her bed as she heard Bianca’s breathing on the other side of the line. “Did something happen?”
“You don’t have to worry about it, I just had a lot of work.”
“I guess that’s good, right?”
“Oh yes, I love being busy and all of that work came in the right moment.”
“I imagine so.” Yeah, right time, whatever.
“You know I’m calling you about what we talked on Wednesday.” Adore heard Bianca say, she could hear water running on Bianca’s line. “Are you still down for the commercial?”
“Yes! Yes I am.”
“Good… That’s good, Blue.”
“So… Do we have to see each other or… How do we do this?”
“Well, Blue.” Fuck, why does she keep telling me Blue? “Do you have anything to do tomorrow? I would like you to come by my studio tomorrow by 10am.”
Fuck, on saturdays she normally woke up around midday to have a bowl of cereal with Katya, how in the hell was she going to wake up before midday?
“Sure, I don’t have a problem.”
“Good. You have my studio’s address, I’ll tell my assistant to wait for you on the entrance, I don’t think she will have a problem spotting you.”
“Why you say that?”
“That hair of yours can’t be ignored, Blue.”
“Oh! I… You have a point there, hehe.” Adore said and saw the shadows of her friends under her door, what were they doing? “Do I have to dress in a specific way or…”
“Just dress in anything you feel comfortable with.”
“Ok, got it.”
“See you tomorrow then.”
“See you, Bianca.”

Adore heard Bianca’s phone on the other line as she hung up, she remained sitting on her bed for a bit, she was going to see Bianca tomorrow.

Shit.

What on the hell was she going to wear?

Adore got up and opened her door, both of her friends fell to the ground, each one holding a glass in their hands.

“What were you doing?”
“Nothing,” Jinkx said and took Katya’s glass. “So? What did lady Bianca tell you?”
“I have to go to her studio tomorrow morning.” She fell to her bed and covered her face with her pillow. “And I don’t know what to wear.”
“Leave that to me!” Katya said and jumped over her bed to her closet. “You need to wear something sexy.”
“Something more serious would be better,” Jinkx said and joined Katya in her closet. “Maybe something black.”
“Jeanette, she is going to be alone with Bianca for hours, she’s not attending a swamp like others!”

Jinkx and Katya were looking through all of her clothes after they Bianca’s call, Willam had called all of them last Wednesday and told them about her encounter with Bianca, Willam kept teasing her during class until Tatianna arrived at the classroom, Tatianna didn’t ask why Willam kept giving Adore funny looks nor made a comment about the reason why Adore looked nervous.

Now that Bianca had called her, these two were over the moon, they were going to have so much fun teasing the shit out of her.

“You only have grunge stuff here, Adore and your brothers’ and dad’s flannels.” Jinkx said as she sat on her desk, Katya grabbed one of the oversized denim shirts Adore had stolen from her dad and gave her a look Adore did not like at all.
“Don’t you dare say you have an idea.”
“I have an idea.” Katya ran to the living room with Jinkx and Adore behind her, they lit a cigarette each and saw Katya deal a number on their old phone.
“Who are you calling?”
“Shh… Trixie? Hi, this is Yekaterina! I’m sorry I’m calling you this late but I need to ask you something.” Jinkx and Adore shared a look, they approached Katya and gestured to the phone.”A friend of mine has a business meeting tomorrow morning but does not have anything nice to wear.”
“Hey!”

Katya raised her index finger to shush her.

“We have an oversized denim shirt, do you think we can make a dress out of it?... Yes? That’s great! How do we do it?” Katya grabbed a cigarette from Jinkx’s cigar box, she lit it and grabbed back the phone. “Wait, hold your horses! Do you want to come to my apartment to do it?” Adore and Jinkx shared a worried look, they looked around their apartment, it was a fucking mess.”In half an hour?”

Both Adore and Jinkx put their cigarettes on the ashtrays and ran to tidy up as fast as they could the apartment, Katya joined and put everything on trash bags and threw them on the small balcony they had on the back. Katya sprayed Lysol everywhere while Jinkx and Adore washed the dishes and cleaned the table. At the moment they were finished they heard a knock on their door.

“That should be Trixie!” Katya checked her lipstick on Adore’s little mirror and opened the door. “Trixie, my gorgeous doll!”
“Kat, you crazy woman.” Katya tried to hug Trixie but the taller blonde stopped her. “Don’t touch me.” She pinched Katya’s cheek and looked at Adore and Jinkx.
“Trix, these two bitches are my roommates; this is Jinkx, she studies plastic arts and this is-”
“Adore, I know her.” Trixie put her stuff on the floor and shook Adore’s hand. “My name is Beatrice but I prefer if you call me Trixie, I’m a huge fan of your work.”

Adore forced a smile and shook Trixie’s hand back.

“Thank you, I’m a fan of myself as well.”

Trixie screamed laugh making Jinkx and Adore jump on their seats, Katya laughed with her and held herself on Trixie’s arm. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, these two were crazy.

“Ok, ok, enough laughs.” Trixie put a suitcase on their table and took out a sewing machine and a sewing kit from it. “Let me see the shirt.” Katya passed her the shirt, Trixie gave it a look and gestured Adore to join them. “Can you put it on? I want to see what I can do.”

Adore put on the shirt for Trixie, Trixie had a measuring tape and a little notebook where she wrote down her measures, Katya looked at them like she was in awe, Adore had found something to tease her about.

“Please lift your arms and don’t move,” Trixie said and grabbed a small box from her sewing kit. “I’m going to use pins, I don’t want to pinch you.”

Adore saw how Trixie drew little marks on the shirt and put a piece of fabric on the inside with the body pins, Trixie worked fast on clothes, Adore was surprised on the technique Trixie had. She remembered seeing her grandmother using her old sewing machine as she tried to teach her mom how to use it, she never learned and Adore did not learn either but she liked seeing her grandmother use it, seeing Trixie use the machine was different, she did not know what it was but she didn’t do it as her grandmother.

“I’m almost done with this,” Trixie said as she ran the fabric on her machine, she gestured to her suitcase. “Kat, can you pass me the blue ribbon?” Katya did, the three friends saw Trixie pass the ribbon through the seam she had sewn inside the shirt, Trixie cut the ribbon end and burned it with Katya’s lighter, she gave them a satisfied look and smiled. “Adore, try it on.” Adore took her t-shirt off and put on the shirt. “The ribbon is for you to adjust the dress from the inside, then you button it and you’re ready, a dress made out of a shirt.”

Adore went to her bedroom and looked at the dress, she loved it, you could see her figure really well, she didn’t look boxy.

“Trixie this is amazing! I love it.” Adore said as she went back to the living room, Trixie was sitting on Katya’s legs with Katya’s arms around her. “How much do I owe you?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, you don’t owe me anything.”
“What? No, don’t do your job for free, girl.”
“This is not my job, is just a hobby.” Trixie said. “I’m actually excited I could make the Adore Delano a dress.” She grabbed her suitcase and walked to the door with Katya behind her.
“I’ll give her a ride home.”
“Good luck on your work tomorrow!”

Both Jinkx and Adore saw the blondes leave, Jinkx yawned and patted Adore’s arm.

“I didn't know Katya liked Dolly Parton that much.”
“Like her? Bitch, she eats her with every look she gives her!”
“Ohh girl, you finally got something to tease her about!”
“That’s just what I was thinking!”
“Ok, enough talking. Go the fuck to sleep, you have to get up early, remember?”
“Yes, I’m going.”

Adore took off the dress and left it on her desk, she put on an old Nirvana t-shirt and heard her phone ring again, she took it and saw Tatianna’s name on the screen.

“Fuck…”

She ignored her call, she didn’t want to explain her anything, she would see her later, tonight she needed to sleep.

----

Adore thanked the bus driver and stepped on the sidewalk, she was faced by the tons of people and tourist walking around the streets, she had forgotten how full of people those streets always were. She put on her sunglasses and walked towards the street Bianca’s studio was, as she walked she started to think of her time in American Idol and how many days she had spent in Hollywood, the clubbing with Chris, meeting Alaska, taking Jinkx and Katya on her adventures here and there, taking her mom everywhere.

There were good memories here.

And bad memories too.

She tried not to think about it, it had been two years, she was dating someone great now and was going to a very good studio to be part of a publicity campaign too, he was not going to appear somewhere, he was not a part of her life anymore.

She took a long breath and continued walking, she saw a woman selling tacos outside of a tall building, Bianca had told her about but she wanted to make sure she was on the right place.

“Excuse me.” The lady looked at her. “I am looking for Karma Studios, is this the building where is it?”
“Sorry, I don’t understand you, who are you looking for?”
“I am looking for Bianca del Río.”
“Ahh, la señora Bianca! Si, si, she works here.” The lady gave her a look and nodded. “It’s here, flaquita.”

Adore smiled.

“I haven’t eaten a thing, can I have three tacos?”
“Of course, mija.”

Adore sat with the lady as she had breakfast with her, it seemed that the lady knew Bianca from a long time, she even knew what Bianca always ordered.

“She always ask for two tacos de papa and two de chicharron, then she buys a lemonade and bag of Cheetos.”
“Cheetos? Really? She doesn’t look like someone who likes Cheetos.”
“Oh, believe me, flaca that that señora loves Cheetos more than her sunglasses.”

Adore paid her and thanked her, when she was entering the building she saw a little girl run towards her.

“You can’t catch me! I am… Ahhh!”

The little girl stumbled but before she hit the ground Adore caught her.

“Are you ok?”
“Phoenix, what do you think you’re doing!? You could have hurt yourself or this lady!” A woman walked towards them, Adore helped the little girl and looked at the woman. “I’m sorry, she is in that age where she thinks she is a grown-up.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Sorry, I don’t think I got your name.”
“I didn’t say it.” She offered the woman her hand. “My name is Danielle Delano.”
“Raven Gemini.” The woman shook her hand and carried the little girl. “This is my daughter Phoenix who has to offer Danielle an apology for almost tackling her down… Phoenix, please apologize to Danielle.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, I have to go and I’m a little bit late.”
“For what?”
“I’m here to see Bianca del Río.”
“... Wait, you’re the singer she got?”
“... Yes?”
“Give me a second.” Raven walked towards the woman who was in the hall, the woman dialed a number and saw another woman enter the hallway. “Courtney, this is the singer Bianca told us about.”
“Don’t you worry, I take her from here.” The blonde and petite woman walked towards her on her high heels and executive clothing. “Hi, my name is Courtney Act and I am Bianca’s assistant, you are Adore, right?”
“Yes, yes I am.”
“A pleasure to know you, gorgeous.” They walked to the hall where the other lady was sitting behind the desk. “Tempest my dear, can you give us a visitor pass for Adore? She has a meeting with Bianca and Raja.”
“Not a problem, just let me see your ID, sweetie.”
“My university identification is ok?”
“Not a problem.” Tempest gave her an identification badge and her ID. “Courtney takes you from here, have a good day.”
“Thank you, my love! Follow me, please.” Adore walked behind Courtney and entered the elevator with her, Courtney pressed a button and saw the doors close. “What did Bianca tell you about this project?”
“That she was making a TV commercial and needed music for it.”
“And do you have material for this?”
“Yes, I brought my IPod, my CDs and notebooks to show her the music I have.”
“We are already familiar with your music, my dear, the interns we have here are obsessed with you.” Adore followed her outside of the elevator. “Let me settle things for you, Karma Studios is ran by many people, we have three studios; one in Louisiana, one in New York and this one in Los Angeles, this one is the biggest out of the three since we have this whole floor for us.”
“Amazing…”
“In six months we have a fashion show in Malibu where our three studios will get together with some other studios to put on a real good show for the people.” Courtney said. “We need good publicity for it, that’s why Bianca contacted you, we need a very good song that every time someone hears it they think of Karma Studios, do you think you can get it?”
“... Yes.”
“Good.”

Courtney passed her badge on the door and let Adore enter, Adore was surprised by the small entrance to Bianca’s office, Bianca had a wall full of newspaper cuttings and pictures. Adore walked towards the wall and gave them a closer look, those were really old newspapers and were from New York.

The new designer gets a spot on the biggest fashion show.
Bianca del Río will have an internship with Anna Wintour.
The Haus of Bunny head on the Pride Parade 2006.

“This is so cool… Wait, is that…”

New actress under the lights of Alphabet City, Bianca del Rio takes the role of Mimi Marquez!

Adore got on the sofa to get a better look at this note.

Bianca del Río is the newest actress of Broadway, she already made her debut of Broadway a few months ago but now she has taken her biggest step and got the acclaimed role of Mimi Marquez in the Broadway sensation play “Rent”.
The young actress is part of the well known Haus of Bunny, a support group for the gay and lesbian youth of New York, in an interview with Bernadette “Bunny” Portendorfer she stated:
“We are always seen as less, tonight Bianca shows all the ignorant people how a queer person can be successful as any other straight man or woman. We have more to show.”

“Wow…”

“Reading her old newspaper notes, I see.”
“I was told she played Mimi in Rent back in the 90s, Rent is my favorite play and movie.”
“I’m sure she will be happy to hear that, come with me.”

Adore followed Courtney, Courtney knocked on a door.

“Bianca, I’m coming in.” Both women entered Bianca’s office, Bianca was sitting on her chair behind her desk and a woman was sitting on the desk with a bag of cheetos. “Bianca, Adore has arrived.”

Adore saw Bianca take off her glasses and smiled, she got up and took a sip of her water bottle.
“Blue, how’s been your morning?”
“Great, how’s yours?”
“Haven’t had any complaints.” The woman sitting on the desk slapped Bianca’s hand.
“You’re not introducing me or what?”

Bianca sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Blue, this is Soleil, Soleil this young lady is Blue.”
“Courtney said her name is Adore.”
“It is but I like to call her Blue.”

Soleil got down from the desk and shook Adore’s hand.
“I’m Soleil from Karma Studios in New York, nice to meet you!”
“Nice to meet you too.”
“Ok, ok, leave the girl alone, Soleil.” Bianca sat back on her chair and gestured for Adore to join her, Adore sat on the chair in front of the desk and breathe hard, she was nervous. “You look really good today, I have never seen you wear a dress.”
“Thank you, my friend made it for me.”

Bianca lift her brow and nodded.

“Good for her, anyways.” She typed something on her computer and put her glasses back on. “Let’s discuss businesses.”

Adore spent the morning with the three women discussing what they wanted to do, Adore saw the clips they had from past runways and shows as she listened her songs on her IPod, she wanted to find the perfect song for Bianca. She heard her phone ring and saw Tatianna’s name pop up on the screen again, she ignored the call and put the phone on silent. She grabbed her notebook and made annotations on anything Bianca or Soleil would point out, Adore was right to think of Bianca as a super serious woman, she was focused on her job and it was amazing how she was getting everything down.

“I’m not sorry I’m interrupting you.” They heard someone say, Adore saw Bianca rolled her eyes and held the brick of her nose. “Bianca we need you now.”
“I’m kind of busy here, Tyra.”
“Yes, Marco wants to talk to you.”
“Tell him I’ll call him when I’m done.”
“He wants to talk with you now.”

Bianca rolled her eyes again, she got up from her chair and passed a sketchbook to Courtney.

“Give me a second.”

Adore heard her slam the door closed, Courtney shrugged and sat on Bianca’s chair.

“Who was that?”
“One of the interns, not our favorite but she is really good on what she does.” Courtney said, she wrote something down on the sketchbook and played one of the songs Adore had brought. “Don’t pay her mind if she is mean to you, she is mean to everyone in here.”

Adore saw her phone’s screen lit up again but saw her father’s phone number instead of Tatianna’s, she ignored it an continued working with Soleil and Courtney, two hours passed and Bianca hadn’t came back yet, Courtney received a text and sighed.

“Bianca says we’re done for the day, I’ll call you a taxi.”
“Where is she?”
“Bianca had a situation with Tyra.” Bianca saw another woman enter the office, she was carrying the little girl from earlier in the morning, her hair was long until her hips and

Adore could see some gray hairs here and there, the little girl spot her and hid behind a lock of hair of the woman.

“Hi, Phoenix. Are you ok, little one?”

Phoenix hid her face on the woman’s neck, she saw the woman pat her back and noticed she had her hands tattooed.

“Raven told me what happened earlier with our little girl, I’m sorry for that.”
“Don’t worry, I know little kids are kinda wild, I have a lot of nephews and nieces.” Phoenix remained with her little arms around the woman’s neck.
“Did we get something done, ladies?”
“We have chosen some clips to put them on the video like flickers, Bianca already chose the fond and we’ve through Adore’s music here.” The woman sat in the desk and grabbed one of the earphones for her and one for the little girl. “Raja here is Bianca’s business partner, she is the daughter of the owners of the first Karma Studio in Louisiana.”
“That’s me!” Raja let Phoenix put on the other earphone. “Nice to finally meet you, Bianca had talked about you a lot.”
“Has she?”
“A lot, believe me.” Soleil said as she put on her sunglasses and rested her back on the wall.
“Have we chosen a song?”
“Not yet.” Courtney said. “Adore is going home to keep working on this, I think we will have a meeting sooner than you think.”
“Tyra made an scene?” Soleil asked her as she grabbed the bag of cheetos that was on Bianca’s desk.
“It seems like it.”
“Girl, I swear I don’t understand why Bianca accepted that girl to be her intern, I can’t stand her.”
“That makes two of us.” Raja sighed, she put the little girl down and gave Adore a look, she smiled and grabbed the notebooks.
“I’ll take you downstairs, let’s go.”

Adore grabbed her stuff, Courtney handed her Bianca’s notebook and squeezed her hand.

“Can you come next saturday?”
“Yes, I have nothing to do so that won’t be a problem.”
“Great, I’ll make sure Bianca knows.”

Adore thanked her and followed Raja outside of the office, when Raja opened the door they found Bianca coming back, she had a small package in one of her hands.

“Already leaving?” She asked them, Raja nodded.
“We gave the little blue haired girl something to work on for your commercial, what did Marco want?”
“Ugh, a lot, I’ll tell you about it in a second.” Bianca looked at Adore and handed her the small package. “A friends sent this from New York to Latrice, do you think you can give it to her, Blue?”
“Yes! I mean, yes.”

Bianca gave her the package, she rose her fingers on Adore’s and Adore swore she was already looking red on her face, thank God she was wearing foundation, when Bianca did so she looked at her hands.

“Wow, I hadn’t noticed you had your fingers tattooed.”
“Oh!” Adore looked at her hands and showed them to Bianca. “Yes, I got them a few months ago, my friend Alaska has a tattoo machine and I let her practice on me.”
“I see you like tattoos a lot.”
“I love them.”
“I think we will get along really well,” Raja said and showed her her hands. “But right now, your taxi is waiting outside.”
“See you on Monday, Blue.”
“See you… On Monday?”

Raja was right, when they walked outside of the building there was a taxi waiting for her, she got inside the car and gave the driver her address, she saw Raja’s figure getting smaller as the driver drove away. What had been that? She shook her head and looked at the package Bianca had given her, she took her phone ignoring the missing calls and called Latrice, she waited for her to pick up and heard a man’s voice instead.

“Latrice’s Dining.”
“... Is Latrice around? This is Adore.”
“Yes, give a second.”
…
“Hello? Is it you Adore?”
“Trice, was that your husband?”
“Yes, pay him no mind, what do you need, kid?”
“I’m back from Bianca’s studio, she gave me a package for you.”
“Oh, it’s not for me, it’s for you.”
“For me? What do you mean?”
“Kid, what did you ask me last Tuesday?”
“... Holy shit is this… Is this what I think it is?”
“Yes, Adore, Bianca’s performance.”

Adore tore the paper and saw the content of the package, it was a VHS tape and it read on a sticker “Rent, last Bianca’s performance in Rent, April of 99.”

“Holy shit, Latrice I’ll call you later I have a play to watch!”
“Enjoy it, kid!”

Adore paid the driver and got out, she looked at her door and saw Tatianna sitting on the steps. Fuck, I ignored all of her calls, she’s gonna be mad. Tatianna saw her, she went down the steps and gave her a look Adore hadn’t seen before. That was not good.

“Babe, what the hell?”
“What?”
“Why weren’t you answering your phone?”
“Sorry, I was busy, I got a job in a fashion studio! Can you believe it?”
“Oh, a job.” Tatianna crossed her hands in front of her chest, she sighed and looked at the sky blinking. “Good.”
“Are you ok?”
“I’m fine, I was just worried.” Tatianna looked at VHS tape on her hands. “What’s that?”
“This?” Adore looked at it too. “Nothing to worry about, it's just… The material I need for Mrs. Visage class, just that.”

Tatianna didn’t look convinced, she looked away and grabbed her keys from her back pocket and walked down the street.

“I guess you’re busy so I’ll see you later.”
“Baby, wait!”
“Don’t worry, I’m busy too.”

Adore saw her girlfriend get on her car and drive away without looking back at her, Adore ran her hands on her face and felt the DVD box on her hand hit her face.

“Oh right, I’m watching the shit out of this.”

She ran up the steps to her apartment, she entered and found it empty, nor Jinkx or Katya were to be found. She grabbed a bottle of soda from her fridge and put the enchiladas she had made yesterday on the microwave, she opened the VHS box while she waited and found a small note on the inside.

Hope this brings you memories, Latrice. Come to visit me soon and bring Bianca and Soleil with you, I miss that wicked witch of the east and my little sun but don’t tell them I said that, I have a reputation to keep.
-Bunny

“I miss the wicked witch…” She took the enchiladas from the microwave and grabbed the bag of chips they didn’t finish last night, she put the tape inside the player and pressed play, she waited for a few seconds and heard the lyrics come from the TV.

December 24th, nine PM
Eastern Standard Time
From here on in
I shoot without a script
See if anything comes of it
Instead of my old shit

“Oh my God is starting.”

First shot: Roger
Tuning the Fender guitar
He hasn't played in a year

This won’t tune

Adore turned off her phone, it was her moment to enjoy this.

----

What's the time?
Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It says, "Time for danger"

“Holy fuck.”

Adore saw Bianca step into the stage, she was wearing a flower kimono with high heel boots, her hair in a messy bun, in the short time Adore had knew Bianca she would have never imagined her looking like this; she walked like the whole stage was hers, like she owned everything.

It says "I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
With a stranger
I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up - life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance in the flames

Bianca got on top of the metal structure as she got rid of the kimono, she wore Mimi’s clothes so good, the clothes were tight on her and it didn’t let anything to Adore’s imagination, Bianca’s movements against the structure were sexy, they were really sexy. Adore hugged her knees against her chest and started biting her nails as she saw Bianca dance, Jesus Christ, was she trying to kill every single person in that theatre?

In the evening I've got to roam
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome
Feels too damn much like home
When the Spanish babies cry
So let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
And all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die

Let's go out tonight
Have to go out tonight
You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take me out tonight

Bianca danced her way down to where the actor of Roger was and Adore thought she really looked like a cat in heat, Bianca jumped to the table and crawled to him, Adore shrugged on the sofa as she saw her dance around him.

Please take me out tonight
Don't forsake me - out tonight
I'll let you make me - out tonight
Tonight - tonight - tonight!

Adore paused the video and ran to the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror, she had ruined her makeup.
“Fuck.” She sat on the toilet seat and grabbed her makeup wipes, she wiped all of the makeup as she looked blank at the wall. “... WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?”
She went back to the living room and rewinded the tape, she watched Bianca’s performance again and paused at the end again, she fell flat on the floor in front of the TV, it had been amazing. Seeing Bianca in such a different environment and in such a different mood from the usual had been like a religious experience, she was sure this was the sensation Katya felt that one time she ate the weird mushroom she had bought in Hollywood Boulevard, but this had been way better.
Seeing Bianca as Mimi had been a whole new level of that sensation, it was like Bianca understood Mimi in a religious level, she had been so amazing, Adore didn’t know Bianca sang and she sang so well!

But what caught Adore off guard was Bianca’s body and her dancing, most of the times Bianca wore dresses and cardigans that covered most of her body but Mimi’s wardrobe was different, it let little to the imagination and the way Bianca moved with those clothes let Adore speechless.

Shit, how was she supposed to look at Bianca in the eye after this? How could she look at Tatianna in the eye again? She was fucked, she was so fucked because she had realized it, she liked Bianca, she really liked Bianca and that wasn’t good.

Chapter Text

Bianca opened her purse as she parked in front of Latrice’s dining, she put on her sunglasses and checked her lipstick, everything was on point, she smiled and walked out of her car, she entered the dining and saw there was a waiting line. She looked around and saw Latrice sitting in one of the tables with a notebook and a calculator on her hand, she approached her friend and sat in front of her.

“Latrice, my dear old friend.” She took off her sunglasses and her normal glasses back on. “Emphasis in the ‘old’” Latrice laughed and slapped Bianca’s hand.
“How dare you come into my store and call me old? I don’t go to your studio and call you bitch!”
“Yes, you do.”

Latrice looked away for a few seconds and laughed again.

“Well, you got me there.” Bianca looked at the numbers Latrice was working on.
“What’s this?”
“I’m making some calculations to see if I’m able to hire another two girls, rushes are getting outta hands.”

Bianca looked at the waiting line, it was getting smaller.

“The girls you have don’t make the cut?”
“They’re almost graduated, only Adore and Jinkx are the ones who have half a degree to go and can stay their complete shifts, Sharon, Willam, Brita and Jaida are busier in school with their ceremonies and everything and a lot of times have to leave earlier or don’t come at all.”

The red-haired girl she had seen the other day approached them and handed Latrice a mug of coffee.

“Can I get you something?” She asked Bianca, Bianca eyed the place but didn’t see Adore.
“Is Blue around?”
“Adore? Yes, she’s in the back.”
“Ok, I want my usual.”
“Your usual…”
“Adore knows what I mean.”

The red-haired girl nodded and walked away, when Bianca turned to see Latrice she noticed Latrice had a smirk on her face.

“What? Did you eat a clown or why are you smiling like that?”
“Oh nothing, it’s just that my girls have pointed out that you are always looking for a certain blue-haired girl.” Latrice took a sip of her coffee and smiled again. “Is it that my cold-hearted Bianca has finally put her eyes on someone?”

Before Bianca could respond the girl from before placed a paper cup in front of her.

“Your usual.”

And left again, Bianca was about to say something but saw Adore waving at her from the counter, Bianca felt a little hot under her blouse but waved back, she saw the blonde girl whisper something on Adore’s ear and Adore hid her face behind her apron. Bianca couldn’t help to smile, she looked at the cup and recognized Adore’s messy writing, today she had drawn the doodle of a dog and a small flower next to it.

“I guess my girls are right.”

Bianca didn’t hear what Latrice said, she handed Latrice a bill and put another one on the tips’ jar, she looked at Adore who was busy on the coffee machine, Latrice was right on saying they were busy, she looked at her phone and noticed it was almost 11 in the morning, Latrice had said Adore’s classes started at 11. She was not going to make it to her class.

“Blue!”
“Yes, baby?” Adore immediately covered her mouth after saying that, she heard her friends laugh behind her, Bianca felt hot under her blouse again but was not going to let it show.
“Your class starts in like ten minutes, how do you think you’re going to make it to your university?”
“Is that late yet?” She looked at her phone. “Shit, shit, I’m late!”
Bianca saw the girl run to the back and crawl under the counter.
“Do you want me to give you a ride?”
“What?”
“I know you’re not going to make it if you go with your bicycle and I don’t have a problem with giving you a ride.”
“I…”
“Girl, don’t think that much and come with me, I’ll take you, come on.”

Adore nodded, she waved goodbye to her friends and walked behind her. Bianca took a long breath and unlocked the door for her, Adore sat on the passenger seat and put her backpack on the car’s floor.

“Seatbelt on.”
“Yes! I’m sorry, I sometimes forget to put it on, people are always reminding me to do it.”
“Don’t worry just put it on.” Bianca started her car and drove away from the parking lot. “So?”
“So?”
“What university do you attend? Where do I take you?”
“Oh, right! I attend The Herb Alpert School of Music in the University of California, do you know where is it or do I tell you?”
“I know the way, don’t worry about that.”

The two of them remained silent for a moment, Bianca saw Adore was playing with the end of her apron as she looked through the window.

“You’re not going to take that apron off?”
“Oh, this, yeah.” She undid the seatbelt and took the apron off, Bianca held her shirt down as they waited for the traffic light to turn back to green. “Thanks.”
“Not a problem, Blue.”
“... Bianca.”
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Why do you always call me Blue?”

Bianca turned right on the avenue and looked at her briefly.

“Why do you ask? You don’t like it?”
“Oh, no, no! Don’t think that! I meant that I know it’s for my hair but I don’t get why you do call me always Blue.”
“Oh…” Bianca grabbed her cup and took a sip of the still-hot coffee. “I just thought you would prefer it, I thought of the way you looked like when the reporter called out your name when we met and thought you feel like your name has certain weight on your shoulders, with all the American Idol stuff and what came after that.” Adore kept looking at her, her big eyes were set on her, she hadn’t noticed how big Adore’s eyes were and how green they were, it reminded her of the green of the countryside of her town. Bianca looked back at the rode and continued talking. “When I first called you Blue I didn’t think it was going to be a thing but I stuck to it, I thought it made you feel comfortable but if it bothers you I can stop.”

Bianca parked in front of The Herb Alpert building, she looked at the girl and noticed she was looking down on her hands. “Ado-”

“No, I like it, keep calling me that.” She said not letting her finish, she grabbed her backpack and opened the door. “But that means I have to find a name for you too!”
“What? That’s not necessary!”
“It is! I’m going to find the most perfect name for you, that’s a promise!”

Bianca smiled, she leaned on the wheel and looked at the girl.

“Ok, as you wish.”

Adore smiled and put a foot outside of the car, she looked back at Bianca with a worried face.

“Bea, we didn’t bring my bike with us!”
“I…” Fuck, she forgot about her bicycle at all! “Don’t worry about that, I’ll go get it and I’ll pick you up, what time you’re done here?”
“That’s too much, don’t worry about that! I can ask my gi-”
“No, I gave you the ride her and I’ll give you the ride home, if I start something I have to finish it. At what time you’re done?”
“At seven.”
“Then at seven I’ll be right here, have a good day, Blue!”
“You too!”

----

Adore saw Bianca leave, when she made sure Bianca had left the campus she ran inside the instruments classroom and screamed inside the old trombone that was sitting next to the desk. How in the hell did she do it? Today she was wearing a pencil skirt with a white blouse, it was the opposite of the 90’s Bianca she had seen this weekend. She slapped her face with both hands and took a long, long breath.

“We’re good.”

She ran to her classroom, Mr. Halls hadn’t arrived yet, good. She left her backpack on her spot and put her case on the seat next to her for Willam, she went to the vending machine outside of her classroom and bought two bottles of water, she went back to her seat and saw Willam enter the classroom running.

“Mr. Halls hasn’t arrived, breathe and have some water.” Adore threw one of the water bottled to Willam who catched it in the air.
“Thanks.”
“Dude, sorry, we should’ve given you a ride.”
“Nah, don’t worry about that.” Willam took a long sip of water. “I didn’t want to interfere in your romance.”
“What are you talking about?”

Both friends turned around and saw Tatianna standing without moving looking at them.

“Oh, shit.” Willam put her bottle away. “Nothing, I’m just fucking around with little Adore here.” She wrapped her arm around her. “Nothing you have to worry about, Tati just two friends saying BS.”

Tatianna didn’t look convinced, Adore tried to hold her hand but Tatianna tossed it away, she sat in front of Mr. Halls’ desk instead of her usual spot in front of Adore, Willam put her arm away and rested her back on the back of the chair.

“Someone got up with her left foot.”
“Leave her alone.”

Tatianna kept ignoring her for the rest of the day, they did not even talk in the class of Mrs. Visage where they were team for the homework, even Mrs. Visage was surprised to not see them talk but didn’t make a comment, it was their last class and Visage always let them leave ten minutes before, she started to put her stuff away and heard the voice of her professor.

“Tatianna, can you come with me to my office? There’s something we need to discuss.”

Adore walked towards her girlfriend.

“What happened? Is something wrong?”
“Nothing you have to worry about, miss Delano.” Their professor said. “Something from the secret project of your girlfriend here, you can get going.”
“Tati…”

But Tatianna didn’t even look at her, she saw her leave with Visage without giving her a single look, Adore sighed, she put on her backpack and walked outside of the building looking for Bianca’s car but didn’t see it, she sat under the willow tree outside of the door and looked through her messages.

Mami: mi amor preciosa, don’t forget Ernie’s birthday is soon and you have to come home
Mami: we’re gonna have a carne asada and your cousins are coming over
Mami: don’t want to repeat myself, got it?
Papi: why you dont answer your phone? I bought it for you to answer it

Adore rolled her eyes and erased her dad’s text, she heard a claxon and saw Bianca’s car park where she had parked before, she grabbed her backpack back and walked towards the car.

“Hi there, Blue, get inside.”

Adore did, she put on the seatbelt and the backpack on the floor, she looked at Bianca and was surprised on what she looked like, Adore was used to see her always in work clothes and right now she was wearing the opposite; Bianca was wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that read Parsons, class of 99’.

“What?”
“Nothing! It’s just that I’m not used to see you in jeans.”
“I look weird, don’t I?”
“No! On the contrary, you look really good!”
“Really, queen?”
“Of course! You should wear them more!”

Bianca smiled and shook her head, they drove outside of the campus and Adore told her how to get to her apartment.

“It’s super close, like ten minutes by car.”
“Then we’ll get there in no time.”
“When you see a graffiti of a woman rooting into a tree, that means we’re home.”
“Why?”
“That graffiti was made by two of my friends.”
“So you got bad girls as friends?”
“Kind of, they have this project to make the city look good by street art, they started on our neighborhood.”
“But your neighborhood is mostly students’, right?”
“Yes, except for the old ladies that live in front of us, best friends for life, and have lived together since they were young.”
“Oh my God, do you really believe that old tale of two ladies being best friends living together all of their life?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I’m pretty sure they’re a couple.”
“Oh my God, don’t!”
“Of course they are, you’re not that dumb to not realize it.”
“They’re not!”
“Want to bet?”
“What?”
“Let’s make a bet.” Bianca saw the graffiti Adore was talking about, she stopped in front of it and looked at the girl. “I’m going to tell one of them ‘tell your wife to have a good night’ and she is just going to smile and agree.”
“Don’t play with old people like that!”
“Want to bet or not?”

Adore gave her a defiant look, she put her hair in a messy bun and shook her hand.

“Bring it on, Bea!”
“Good, but before.” She pointed to the graffiti. “That’s the graffiti, which one is our apartment?”
“That one on the top with the sunflower painted on the door.”

The two of them walked outside of the car, Adore pointed at the apartment in front of them where an older lady was sitting in front of the door reading a magazine, though the window they could see another lady who was dancing to some classical music.

“The one that’s outside is Miss Vanessa, she is super vanjie and barrio, like my mom says.” Adore said. “Come on, tell her.”
“Neighbor! Isn’t this a gorgeous night?”

Miss Vanessa looked up from her magazine, she looked at Bianca without looking sure if she knew her but her face relaxed when she saw Adore with her, she smiled and nodded.

“You’re goddamn right!”
“Have a good night, and tell your wife to have a good night for me too!”
“Of course! Have a good night, neighbor!”
“You too!” Bianca walked towards the stairs of Adore’s apartment and gave her a mocking smile. “You see? They’re wives.”

Adore hid her smile and let a sigh come out of her lips.

“Are you enjoying this?”
“A lot.” Bianca interlinked her fingers.
“I wanted to ask.”
“Yes?”
“What happened last Saturday? When the intern called you out?”
“Some boring stuff about the fashion industry, nothing you have to worry about.”
“Are you sure? Can I help you with anything?”
“I am sure, don’t worry about anything.” Bianca let go of Adore’s hand and walked down the steps. “This week I’ll have a lot of work so it’s probably I won’t see you until saturday, so… Until Saturday, Blue.”
“Until Saturday, Bea!”

Adore saw Bianca get into her car again and leave, she looked at her hand and smiled, it had been a good day. She entered her apartment and found Trixie sitting with Katya on their couch.

“Trix? What are you doing here?”
“Adore, hi!” Both Katya and Trixie sat on the couch’s back as Adore poured herself a bowl of cereal. “I was waiting for you!”
“Waiting for me? Why?”
“I heard your boss at Latrice’s is looking for new employees, do you think you can get me an interview with her?”
“Sure, I don’t have a problem with that.”
“сука.”
“What?”
“Where is your bike?”
“... Fuck, I left it in-”

They heard someone knock on their door, Katya got up and opened it, Bianca was on the other side with Adore’s bicycle with her, Trixie sipped on the cup she had with her and both girls gave Adore a curious look.

“сука, I think they’re looking for you.”
“Adore, I’m so stupid, I forgot to give you your bicycle.”
“I forgot it too, don’t worry about that.” Adore pushed Katya away and went out with Bianca and chained the bike to the handrail. “Thank you for bringing it here, you didn’t have to do that, tho.”
“I sure did, I was the one who gave you the ride in the first place and the one who should have grabbed your bicycle at that moment.”
“You didn’t have to do that, either.”
“But I wanted to.”

Adore hesitated on what to do next, she looked at Bianca, without her usual heels she looked smaller than her, she wasn’t wearing any makeup on and could see the small marks on her face, she didn’t look bad, Adore noticed that Bianca’s face was getting red, she was sure her face was red too but didn’t know what to do now.

Adore acted without thinking, she took a step forwards to Bianca and pressed their lips together, Bianca’s lips felt as Adore imagined they would, they were plump and soft, Bianca’s lips were warm on hers.

Bianca’s hands were on the sides of Adore’s face, she took her face sweetly and Adore tilted her face to deepen their kiss while Bianca’s fingers curled on Adore’s hair, Adore ran her hands to Bianca’s waist and lift her until she was against the wall next to her door. Adore felt something blossom on her low stomach when she felt Bianca’s tongue found her way past her lips.

Both of them were breathless after sharing that kiss, Bianca nervously laughed but kissed the side of Adore’s mouth.

“You have lipstick smeared all around your mouth, Blue.”

Adore laughed as well, she put Bianca back on the floor and gave her a quick peck on her lips.

“You say it like I’m gonna care.” Bianca smiled and Adore saw her dimples, she wanted to kiss those dimples so bad. Bianca pinched Adore’s cheek and nose.
“I’ll see you on Saturday.”
“See you on Saturday, Bea.”

Adore rested her arms on the handrail and waved goodbye to Bianca as she drove away, she felt like she was going to throw up rainbows, she had kissed her and she didn’t regret a single part of it.

She opened silently the door but didn’t see Katya or Trixie around, Katya’s door was closed and could see Jinkx with her headphones on and a book in front of her in her room. She entered her room and went directly to sleep, she fell asleep without noticing her cell phone ringing on the bottom of her backpack.

Chapter Text

“Kat, come over now!”
“What’s so interesting for even you wanting to gossip, Dolly?”
“I think they’re gonna kiss.”
“No shit, Barbra!”
“Oh my God, they’re kissing.”
“What? Let me see, you pink bitch!”

Katya jumped to the couch next to Trixie and slightly opened the curtain, she saw Adore kissing Bianca and Bianca running her hands on Adore’s face, both Trixie and Katya covered each other’s mouth so they didn’t scream, they saw how Adore lift Bianca until they were against the door, they couldn’t see them anymore.

“Shit, I have to sit somewhere else, I can’t see shit from here.”
“Do you know where you can sit?”
“Where?”
“On my face, I wouldn’t mind.”
“Ugh, don’t be gross!”
“Why? As long as I have a face, you will have somewhere to sit.”
“Is that so?”
“Are you trying me, doll?”
“What if I am?”
“What would you do?”
“I’m gonna do an Adore and carry you all the way to my room.”
“You can’t do that.”
“I fucking lift weights, Beatrice, just watch.”

Trixie felt Katya hands under her ass, Katya squeezed her cheeks and then lift her in one second, Trixie held herself on her arms, they felt amazingly strong, her tattoos looked just amazing on her skin, Trixie looked at Katya as she carried her to her room.

Katya’s beauty was something she would never see in Wisconsin, a russian immigrants’ daughter who was rebellious, a polyglotte, she knew so many things and she looked amazing; Katya was an artist, she made beautiful art but Katya herself was a work of art, her beautiful blonde her and her bangs remarked her face very beautifully and her makeup was to highlight her beauty, not to create it like Trixie’s. Her tattoos were another amazing piece of art on her, she was a walking piece of art.

Trixie laid back on Katya’s bed.

This was not what she was supposed to do.

She felt Katya’s weight over her, Katya leaned in front of her and ran her finger on her lips.

This felt so wrong.

Katya took of her top and undid her hair, then undid Trixie’s hair and unbuttoned her shirt.

What would her mother think if she found out her very Christian daughter was doing this with a girl?

Katya leaned back and took off her bra, she was naked from the waist up, Trixie was mesmerized, she had always doubts on whether she liked girls as she grew up but seeing Katya here, naked and vulnerable in front of her made all of her doubts disappear.

Trixie got rid of her shirt and her bra as well, Katya ran her hands on the red marks her bra had left on her skin and kissed every single mark.

“Are you ok with this? Do you want me to continue?”

Trixie held Katya’s face between her hands, she had messed up her lipstick when she took off her top, Trixie giggled and kissed the side of her mouth.

“Yes, yes I am.”

----

She turned off her car as she parked in front of miss Vanessa’s apartment, she had been a dick to Adore for a couple of days and that wasn’t fair, she needed to talk to her before the semester ended and she left for her scholarship in Italy.

She hadn’t told her a thing about it and professor Visage hadn’t either.

“The semester has just started for us but over there it starts in two weeks, if you want to take the scholarship this semester you can do it, but you have to tell her, Tatianna, it wouldn’t be fair for her to just see you leave without an explanation.”

Her professor was right, she needed to tell her.

Tatianna opened her door and saw miss Vanessa and miss Brooke pointing at something as they talking with each other.

“Baby, I told you that the blue girl had another girl!”
“I was sure she was still dating the girl with the long hair.”
“Well, it seems she is not dating her anymore.”
“What?”

Tatianna followed the direction of miss Vanessa’s finger and remembered what Willam had told Adore earlier.

“I didn’t want to interfere in your romance.”
“So this was the romance Willam was talking about…”

Tatianna ran back to her car, she wiped her eyes and drove away, she didn’t want to see another thing.

Chapter Text

“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not kidding.”
“... No!”
“Yes!”
“But, are you for real?”
“We are, Jinkx!”
“I don’t believe you, you’re fucking with me.”
“No, I’m fucking with her.” Katya said and pointed at Trixie, who was sitting on Katya’s legs, Trixie bit her finger and grabbed the orange juice from their coffee table. “Bianca came last night to bring Adore her bike, they were outside the door talking and then they kissed.”
“With tongue and everything.”

Jinkx looked at her bowl, fuck, that was not the best that could have happened.

“Kat, what about Tatianna?”
“... Shit, you’re right.”
“The Tatianna people talk about in the campus? Why are you whispering?”
“Shh!” They heard a door opening and then the shower running, Katya took her finger off of her lips and took a sip of coffee. “Tatianna is Adore’s girlfriend.”
“What? I didn’t know Adore had a girlfriend! Wait… Then Bianca and Adore… What is going on?”
“We were teasing her with her crush on her but didn’t think it would come out to this…”
“You say it like you get along with Tatianna.” Jinkx said and grabbed her backpack, she put on her shoes and sat on one of the couches. “Dude, I meant when I said that I didn’t want Adore to date Tatianna and meant it when I said that Tatianna doesn’t deserve someone like Adore but I never thought it would turn out like this.”
“Wait, I don’t get it.” Trixie said getting up and helping Katya to get up as well. “What did Tatianna do that make y’all don’t like her?”
“When we first arrived from Azusa-”
“What are you guys talking about?”

Adore was standing next to the fridge with a towel on her shoulders, she looked at them curious as she took a bite of an apple.

“Nothing! Just about Trixie’s interview today with Latrice.” Katya immediately said and patted Trixie’s back, Adore gave her a confused but shrugged her shoulders.
“I haven’t told her you’re going, though.”
“She’s not gonna mind, dude.”
“Let me dry my hair and we get going.”
“Sure.” The three girls saw Adore leave again, Katya sighed and kissed Trixie’s nape. “That has to be a story for another day. Witch, help me get your bikes on my car to give you a ride.”

Trixie stayed inside the apartment as Katya and Jinkx went downstairs, she finished her sandwich as she thought of what she had heard around the university, Tatianna had a certain reputation among the girls and boys from the different campus but people had stopped to talk about her a few months ago when she started dating Adore, Trixie wasn’t sure of what was truth and what was false and nor Jinkx or Katya were going to be the ones telling them but there was one girl she was sure who would tell her.

“Aren’t you coming?”

Trixie shook her head and saw Adore standing on the front door, she nodded and walked out carrying her backpack and Katya’s, she remained thinking about it all the way to the dining, she needed to ask India.

----

“Do you know how to use a coffee maker?”
“A little bit.”
“Do you know how to cook?”
“Of course, back in Wisconsin I cooked for my mom and siblings, I’m damn good at cooking.”
“Do you have a problem with being nice to assholes?”
“... I try my best not to be an asshole, does that count?”
“... Yes, you’re hired, do you want to stay already?”

Trixie looked around at the dining, Jinkx and Adore were running around with a blonde girl like crazy filling cups, even Katya, who didn’t work at the dining, was helping them with the cashing machine.

“Of course.”
“Great.” Latrice got up from her chair and handed her an apron. “This is for you, I let the girls bring their own aprons and customize them if they want, you can use this for the day.”
“Thank you.” Trixie put it on and put her hair in a high bun. “Where should I start?”
“Help the girls with taking the orders of the clients, God knows these girls are going crazy right now.”

Trixie put on the apron and grabbed the small notebook Adore handed her and a pink pen from her backpack and gave a look to the dining, people were flooding the store and parking lot, there were a lot of people, how were they supposed to work and take the orders fast?

…

“Latrice!”
“Yes?”
“Do you mind if I use my skate rollers to take the orders?”

All the girls looked at Trixie when she asked that to Latrice was stoned faced for a minute but then laughed at Trixie’s question, she nodded to Katya and the blonde passed her Trixie’s roller skates.

“Roll, girl.”

----

“Ha, use roller skates, who would have thought of that?” Willam said and passed two cups of coffee to the women on the drive through.
“Let me tell you, it wouldn’t have been you, bitch.” Adore said and poured a cup of hot chocolate for the girl on the counter.
“I am smart too.”
“Yeah, in your unique way.” Adore put the cap on the cup and handed the chocolate to the little girl. “Careful, pretty one, it’s hot.”
“Thank you! Where do I put the dollar tip?”
“In this cute jar.”
“Thank you!”
“Thanks to you, pretty one!”
“You’re being too nice at six in the morning, what the hell is going on?” Willam asked her. “Mark! Two shots of espresso ready! What happened to you, bitch?”
“What? Can’t I just be in a good mood for once or what?”
“You’re a night owl, not an early bird.” Willam said as she took the order from the biker on the window. “What happened?”
“Nothing happened.”
“Are you sure of that?” Adore turned around and saw Jinkx smiling as she poured the matcha and ice on the blender. “Some little birdies told me someone came to your apartment last night.”
“Uhhh, a juicy gossip! I wanna know.” Willam said as she took the cup of the biker and prepared a moka cappuccino. “Is it about Bianca?”
“Yes.”
“Jeanette!”
“Bianca gave her a ride home but forgot to give Adore her bike back.”
“Katya!”
“And she went back to give it to her all the way to the apartment and you won’t believe what happened next!”
“Katya, stop!”
“Nothing, nothing happened.”
“What?”

Adore gave Katya a confused look, her friend handed an old lady her change and wrote her name on a cup.

“Black coffee for lady Mildred here.” She put the cup next to Jinkx and went back to the cashing machine. “What? You wanted tea, there’s no tea to be served but that.”

Adore gave her a confused look, Katya winked at her and continued attending the man in front of her, Trixie passed her two orders and Jinkx continued making the matcha tea. Willam growled and passed the biker his cup.

“You’re so fucking boring, I thought you would have kissed her with all you had against the wall or something.”

Adore felt her face getting hot, she covered her face with her mask and showed Willam her middle finger.

“Don’t be stupid.”
“Girls, stop the kiki, we have our rush!” They heard Latrice say, Adore continued making the orders and shooting looks at Katya, what had been that?

----

“Can I have a cigarette break, Trice?”
“Sure, Dorey.”
“Can Katya join me?”
“She doesn’t even work here, she doesn’t need to ask me for permission, girl.”
“What?”
“You’re coming with me, bitch.”

Adore pulled Katya to the back door, each girl lit cigarette, Katya sat on the ground and took a long breath.

“What is going on with people here, I even had to step in to help you all.” Katya looked at Adore, Adore was giving her a weird look Katya didn’t understand. “What? Are you looking at my magnificent beauty and grace?”
“What was that?”
“A rush of people wantin-”
“No, not the people rush.” Adore said and sat on a box in front of her. “Why didn’t you tell Willam I kissed Bianca, I know you and Trixie saw us.”

Katya gave a look to her cigarette, she saw the tobacco slowly consuming into ashes and falling to the ground, she could make a new painting using this cigarette as a metaphor, how we slowly consume and end up being ashes...

“Because it's not fair.”
“What do you mean?”
“Will does not know how to keep secrets and what happened with Bianca last night is a secret, a secret from Tati, am I right?”

Adore was out of words, she had been trying to avoid the subject of Tatianna since she realized she had a crush on Bianca because she knew it was wrong, it seemed like she could not avoid it anymore. Katya stepped on her cigarette and grabbed an aluminium box from her apron, she took out a joint and lit it.

“Here, you need to relax.”

Adore took a little puff of it and felt the smoke inside her lungs, she exhaled it slowly and looked up at the sky.

“Yes, it is a secret.”

Katya nodded, she took a puff of it as well and looked at her phone.

“Where’s your phone?”
“In the bottom of my backpack, I didn’t charge it and I don’t want to look at it, I’m sure I have a lot of missing calls and texts from her. I don’t know how to face her after what happened last night with Bianca.”
“I see… You’ll have to face her in some point, you know? At the end of the day, she is your girlfriend and Bianca is not.”
“I thought you didn’t like Tati.”
“I don’t but no one deserves to see their loved one falling for someone else like she is going to see it.” Katya passed her the joint. “I think you have to think about what do you want and make a decision so you don’t hurt anyone.”
“I don’t know how to do it and I need time for that, I don’t have time with school and work, Kat.”
“Do you know why I asked you about your phone?”
“No, why?”
“Our four hours class with Mr. Carson was cancelled, he fell on his bathroom and hurt his ankle.”

Adore grabbed Katya’s phone, it was a text from Alaska.

Lask: bitch, Carson fell while he was on the shower and is @ the hospital
Lask: no class today, tell the door, she don’t answer the fkn phone

“I guess the planets aligned for you to think about it.” Katya grabbed back her phone and stood up. “You need to think about it and make a decision, don’t be a pussy.”
Adore nodded, Katya helped her to get up and entered back to the dining, she really needed to make a decision, but what decision should she take? How was she going to make sure it was the right one?

Fuck.

Being an adult sucked.

----

“Bianca!”

Bianca jumped at the sound of the folders slamming on her desk, Soleil was looking at her as she took a sip of a cup of coffee.

“What?”
“You’re lost in your thoughts, I’ve been calling your name for a solid minute and you didn’t even look at me, what’s going on?”
“Nothing, I’m just distracted.”
“Distracted, that’s how we call her now?” Raja entered Bianca’s office carrying a roll of white fabric and an envelope. “Really, Bea?”
“What are you doing here, bitch?”
“These two babies came in the mail today, the fabric you needed, and this; a letter from your cute little niece.”
“Give it to me!” Raja handed her the envelope, Bianca smiled, Valentina’s handwriting had improved a lot. “Leave, I need my space to read this.”
“You’re gonna cry or what?”
“You know she is, come on, little sun.”

Both of her friends left her office, Bianca locked the door and sat on her chair facing the window, she put on her glasses and opened the envelope.

Dear tía Bianca;
How are you? I’m sorry I didn’t write back after I sent you your Christmas present, I did write a letter but I forgot to attach it to the package I sent you! I received your Christmas present, I loved it a lot, I wore the dress to the dinner and my dad was asking again where did I get the dress and I didn’t tell him. He was not happy but didn’t ask again! And thank you for the Christmas money, it helped me a lot with my dance classes!
I know you don’t like Christmas that much but I hope you liked the sunglasses I sent you, I chose them just for you!

Bianca smiled, she had received the sunglasses, they were on her purse and she wore them everywhere, she had to tell her on her next letter.

And why didn’t you tell me you were going to appear in CSI!? I was watching the series with my dad and I saw you on the screen! I had to remain calm or he would be suspicious why I screamed at the sight of the woman sitting with the detectives, you know? I want to know everything about it!
Oh, and thank you so much for the tutus you sent me, I wore the white one for our latest performance and the other dancers were super jealous! I did give them the number of the studio, in case you receive calls of girls asking for tutus, it’s my bad, not sorry! I sent some photos for you.
I miss you so much, if we go on a ballet tour I hope we have a presentation in L.A. so you can come to see me.
I love you so, so much.
¡Mucho, mucho amor!
Your niece, Vale.

Bianca took off her glasses and looked at the photos, Valentina was not the little girl she had met in Dela’s house those many years ago, she was becoming a teenager, a young and beautiful woman.

She opened her drawer and put the photos on the small box she kept hidden under the many documents she had, she looked over her computer and saw the picture of her graduation, Raja and her were hugging Dela who was in the middle.

“Dela… You would be so happy if you could see how big Vale is now.”

“Aunt Bianca!” She heard Phoenix voice through the door, she put on her glasses and opened the door, the little girl was standing there with a five-dollar bill on her hand. “Can we go get hot chocolate with Latrice?”

Bianca looked at her phone, it was midday, Adore wasn’t there anymore.

“Sure, kiddo just let me grab my purse and my keys.”
“I’ll put on my sunglasses too!”
“The black ones?”
“Duh!”

Bianca walked with Phoenix to Raja’s office.

“Raj, I’m going to get coffee and a hot chocolate for Phoenix, do you want something?”
“Two iced coffees.”
“Sure, come on, girl.”

Bianca went to the parking lot with Phoenix and drove all the way to the dining, Phoenix insisted on Bianca carrying her inside, Bianca rolled her eyes but carried her in anyways.

“Hello, Latrice!”
“Hi there, little one!” Latrice pinched Phoenix’s cheek and looked at Bianca. “What are you doing here? I thought you had a lot of work this week.”
“I do, I need to make 25 tutus for Giselle but this little boss can’t work without her drink.”
“Yes, I want hot chocolate!” Phoenix said and showed Latrice her bill. “My mama gave me this for chocolate, see?”
“I see it, Phoenix! Sharon, you have a client!”
“Comiiiin’!” Bianca recognized the blonde girl, she was one of Adore’s friends, the one who looked like Marilyn Manson, today she didn’t like that goth with the white shirt she was wearing. “What do we serve you?”
“I want hot chocolate, with a lot of chocolate and not that hot.”
“Ok, boss. Anything else?”
“Two iced coffees and a large black coffee with little sugar, only one cube.”
“One cube… We’ll bring them to you in a second, you can sit wherever you want.”

Phoenix ran to one of the tables next to the windows, the two of them sat and took their sunglasses off.

“This place is really pretty, aunt!” Phoenix said. “Why are there so many flowers outside?”
“Because Latrice likes flowers a lot, when we lived in New York she had plants all over the house of grandma Bunny.”
“Grandma Bunny does not like flowers.”
“She does not but Latrice does.”

Phoenix hummed, she put her sunglasses on top of her hair and gave her a weird look.

“What? Do I have something on my face?”
“Soleil told me a secret.”
“Oh my God, that’s not good. What did she tell you?”
“Come, it’s a secret so I have to tell you to your ear.”
“Ok…”
“Closer.”
“Yes?”
“She says you like the girl with blue hair, is it true?”
“What? Why did she say that?”
“I don’t know, she just told me.”

Bianca saw the girl from before walk over to them.

“Latrice told me to give you separates, this for the little boss and this for you.” Phoenix handed the girl her five dollar bill, Bianca handed the girl her card.
“I’m going to kill Soleil, she shouldn’t be saying my secrets like that.”
“Then you like the blue girl!”
“Shh!” Bianca signed the ticket and put back her card on her wallet. “Neither you or Soleil know how to keep secrets secret!”
“Sorry!”

Bianca heard Latrice’s laugh through the dining, she rolled her eyes and put on her sunglasses.

“I’m sorry Raja and Raven’s kid doesn’t know how to keep secrets, don’t mind her!”
“Oh, we do!”
“I’ll see you later, Latrice!”
“Thank you for the chocolate!”
“Come back soon!”

Bianca helped Phoenix to put the seatbelt on the back seat and put the coffees on the passenger seat, when she closed the door she saw a woman looking at from the distance, Bianca looked around but no one else was around.

“Girl, you should take a picture, it lasts longer!”

The girl put on a cap and left the parking lot, Bianca was confused, what had been that?

“Aunt, come on! My chocolate it’s getting cold.”
“Let’s go.”

Bianca started her car and drove out of the parking lot, she didn’t take the girl out of her mind for the rest of the day, what had been that?

----

“Fuuuck!” Adore growled as she threw herself to her bed, she grabbed her hugging pillow and hid her face in it.
“Will does not know how to keep secrets and what happened with Bianca last night is a secret, a secret from Tati, am I right?”
“Yes, it is a secret.”

Adore plugged her phone and waited for it to turn on, she waited a bit more and checked her messages, she didn’t have any messages from Tatianna, only her parents and Ernie.

“What?” She dialed her number but it sounded off. “Shit…”

She laid down on the floor and looked at the plastic stars she had glued to the ceiling, who would know what to do in this situation?

…

“No, I’m not calling him.”

She heard her phone receiving a text, it was from Bianca.

Bianca: I listened to your album today with my friend’s daughter, she’s been playing on repeat Party
Bianca: She says you’re a very good singer, I think the same
Bianca: I can’t wait to hear you sing to us soon

“... Oh my God, this doesn’t make it easier!”

She sat in front of her computer and saw the framed picture of Tatianna and her, Adore hit her desk with her head.

“What did I get myself into?"

Chapter Text

The phone number you called is unavailable.

“Ugh.” Adore put her phone on the floor and turned to her back, she looked at the stars on the ceiling and sighed. Why wasn’t she answering the phone? “... Why am I even calling her? I don’t even know what to tell her “Hi, babe, you’re doing well? Good, by the way I kissed another girl while you were away with professor Visage, don’t be mad.” Ugh, I’m so fucking stupid.”

She climbed to her bed and checked the hour on her phone, it was just midday, the day went really slow when she didn’t have classes, Katya had left for the day and Jinkx was in the campus. She needed to talk to someone but wasn’t a single person around.

“What if I call mom… No, I don’t want her to know this… I don’t want her to think I’m like him.”

Adore walked out of her room and heard a crazy knocking on her door, she put on her sandals and walked towards the door to open it as they continued knocking.

"Oh my God, stop that! We're not interested!"
"Tía Adore!"

A small figure jumped towards her making her fall backwards on the floor, at first she freaked out thinking it was Krystian and was about to grab the vodka bottle under the sofa to hit him when she realized it was Jesse, her nephew.

"Jesse? Dude, what are you doing here?" She wrapped her arms around the little boy kissing his forehead, the little boy hugged her back and let her kiss his hair. “You scared the shit outta me.”
"Salina needs to buy a dress but we men don’t like going shopping with her, we drove around and saw your bike home so Imma leave him here." She heard another voice say, she looked over Jesse’s hair and saw her brother and his wife standing on the door. “Jesse doesn’t like going but as her husband, I have to go with my lady here to pick one.”
“Hey, dude.” She got up carrying her nephew in her hands. “Wait, Sali, you said you need a dress?”
“Yes, my sister Mirta is getting married and I need a new dress for her wedding.” She said and sat on the sofa in front of the TV with Ernie. “I’ve never been the girl that looks lame in the party and this won’t be the first time I’ll do it.”
“Neto, pásame la mochila de al lado de Sali.”
“This one?”
“The black one with patches, man, the red one is Katya’s and I’m sure you don’t want to see what’s inside that one.”
“You’re very right.” Ernie passed Adore her backpack, she held it open and grabbed her wallet.
“I’ve met this gor- this lady who I am working with, she is a fashion designer and she is amazing at what she does.” Adore handed Salina Bianca’s card. “She sings, dances and designs amazing shit, her name is Bianca, you’re gonna love her work, I’m sure of that.” Ernie took the card and gave her a fun look. “What? Did I miss the joke or what?”
“Bueno Daniela, by the way you talk about lady Bianca I can tell you like more than her work, don’t you think, vieja?”
“Leave your sister alone, Ernesto.” Salina pinched his arm and looked at Adore. “Jesse can stay here until we come back? I don’t want him running around saying he’s bored.”
“Yeah, not a problem, leave the little man to tía Adore and maybe some twenty bucks to grab something to eat, I don’t have cash” Ernie lifted one of his eyebrows but nodded, he handed her a twenty dollars bill and patted her head.
“That’s bullshit, you have the money of your music.”
“It’s on my bank account and that’s for college, college ain’t cheap, bih!”
“College ain’t cheap!” Ernie imitated her voice, Adore hit his arm and laughed. “We’ll call you when we’re on our way back.”
“Sure, man, don’t worry about that.”
“See you soon, mama!”
“See you soon, my beautiful boy.” Salina kissed his hair and handed Adore a ten dollars bill without Ernie noticing. “Have fun with your aunt, baby.”
“I will!”

Adore and Jesse waved goodbye to his parents, both of them waited until the car was gone, the two of them looked at each other smiling.

“Wanna grab McDonalds?”
“McDonalds!”

Adore got on her bike with Jesse on her back wearing her helmet, she went pedaling passing in front of the houses noticing Sharon and Katya painting another graffiti, she stopped in front of the wall where they were working and pointed at them.

“Remember Katya? She is over there.”
“Why is she doing that?”
“It’s an art project for school.”
“If the police catch her, her mom is not gonna be happy.”
“I thought the same.” She saw the traffic light turn back to green. “Hold on tight, dude, we are almost there.”

They went through the drive through and bought two happy meals, three orders of fries and two burgers, after paying Adore pedaled their way to the park, she put her flannel on the grass and placed the food over it while Jesse rode her bike around her.

“Didn’t you have school today, tía?” He asked her as he rode around her.
“I did but my professor twisted his ankle and is at the hospital.”
“Is he ok?”
“He is ok, he is just a drama queen, in less than a week he will come back using a cane full of rhinestones just to look fancy.” She took a bottle of soda for Jesse and a root beer for her, she sat under the tree and whistled to her nephew. “Dude, come to eat!”

Jesse nodded, he put the bike down and took off the helmet, he sat in front of her and grabbed one of the happy meals.

“Your idiot dad hasn’t bought you one of these in a while, hasn’t he?”
“He says I’m too old for happy meals now that I’m nine.”
“That’s bullshit, man! I’m in my fucking 20s and I still buy these when I want one.” She took a sip of her can and took a frie from him. “When I go back to Azusa to your dad’s birthday we’ll grab grandma’s truck and go for another oen, deal?”
“Deal.”
“Are you eating a happy meal, Blue?”

Adore looked over and saw Bianca standing behind Jesse, she had a cup of coffee in her hand and the little girl from the other day was hiding behind her.

“Why are you eating a happy meal?” Phoenix asked her, she had a cup of hot chocolate, she recognized the cups from Latrice’s.
“Because I like them, Phoenix, do you like them?”
“I do! Can I have it?”
“Phoenix! That’s Blue’s, I can get you one when we go back to the studio.” Bianca told Phoenix, the little girl looked to her cup and nodded, Adore shook her head and offered her the carton box.
“You can have it, Phoenix, I don’t mind.”

Jesse mouthed “Blue?” to her, Adore shook her head and grabbed one of the fries.

“You don’t have to do that, Blue.”
“It’s not a problem at all, don’t worry about it” Adore said, Phoenix took the box with her small hands and smiled, Bianca smiled too, Adore could see her dimples, Gosh, those dimples were so fucking precious, she wanted to lick them so bad.

No, no, no, no. What was she doing? This was not fair for Tatianna.

“Because it's not fair. Will does not know how to keep secrets and what happened with Bianca last night is a secret, a secret from Tati, am I right?”

She felt Bianca’s hand on her leg and saw her sitting in front of her, she wasn’t wearing her usual skirts or dresses, today she was wearing again a tight pair of jeans and a jacket, she looked really good.

Shit, this isn’t right.

“Why-why aren’t you wearing a dress?” Adore asked her, her voice sounded nervous and it seemed that Bianca noticed it as well, she took her hand off her leg and sat back.
“Why do you ask? You don’t like me when I’m in jeans?”
“No, it’s not that!”

Bianca nodded, she bent over the food to grab some of Adore’s fries, Adore remained unmoving for a few seconds, what was going on with Bianca?

“Wait, wait, wait, wait.”
“What?”
“If you’re here, who’s in the studio?”
“Raja, why?”
“My mama is looking for a dress for the wedding of my tía Mirta.” Jesse said as he took the pickle off of his burger and gave it to Adore. “Mi tía Adore gave my dad your card, they were going to the place you work to check the dresses my aunt says you sell.”
“Oh shit.”
“Auntie Bianca, you said a bad word!”
“You can scold me later, Phoenix, we have to go.”
“Wait, Bea!”
“Yes?”

Adore got up and handed her a burger with both of her hands, Bianca looked at the burger and back at her confused.

“I… Uh… Thank you for bringing my bike back to my apartment.”

Bianca gave another fun look at Adore and started laughing, her laugh was different this time, it was super high pitch and sounded almost like a dolphin, Adore couldn’t stop from laughing too.

“What’s with that laugh!?”
“It’s my natural laugh, ugh, I hate it and you made me laugh so hard it came out.” Bianca took the burger and rose Adore’s inner wrist. “I don’t like it.”
“I like it, it’s like a dolphin.” Adore added as Bianca gave her another look, Bianca put the burger on her purse and grabbed Phoenix’s hand.
“I can take your bike home whenever you want, Blue but right now I’ll go help your nephew’s mom with her dress, I’ll see you around, Blue.”
“Su-sure…”

Bianca remained silent while looking at her for a few moments, she turned around and left the park with Phoenix holding her hand. Adore sighed and looked at her phone, she had a missing call from an unknown number, she would call them back later.

“Tía?”
“Yes?”
“... Is that woman your new girlfriend?”
“What? Why do you ask me that?”
“I don’t know, I haven’t seen Tatianna around you and you haven’t talked with her today, you’re always on the phone with her when she isn’t around.”
“Your point?”
“I thought you weren’t girlfriends anymore.” Adore grabbed back her phone and looked at the messages, under her conversation with Katya was Tatianna’s, she hadn’t answered any of her messages yet, Adore was getting nervous, that wasn’t good.
“If I’m honest, I don’t even know if we’re still girlfriends or not.”

They finished eating sitting under the tree, Adore dialed Tatianna’s number a couple more times while Jesse rode her bike but she never picked up, maybe she knew, maybe they weren’t a thing anymore.

----

Adore avoided moving after Jesse had fallen asleep over her lap, she didn’t want to wake him up, she looked over at the sky and saw the clouds move slowly in the wind flow, sometimes she wished she was a cloud, with no worries and no obligations, that was such a stupid thought but that was a thought that always came up in her mind from time to time.

She heard her phone ring on her backpack, she took it and saw the same unknown number from before, she accepted the call and pressed the phone against her ear.

“Hello? Danielle speaking.”
“Hello! I’m professor Hall.”
“Professor Hall, hi! What do I owe the pleasure of your call?”
“Well, I wanted to talk with you after your class but I’ve just been told your class got canceled.”
“Yeah, Mr. Cressley fell on the shower.”
“Let’s avoid talking about Mr. Cressley in the shower, I have some interesting news for you.”
“What is it?”
“Remember when we contacted LLC last month?”
“Yeah, they never called back.”
“Let me tell you, they called back today and they want to take the project!”
“What? Really!?”
“Yes, this means that you could graduate next year if you take more subjects this semester and the next one as well, we can start working on the project this semester and you would be graduating in three years, what do you think?”
“... If I did that, I’d have to leave my job, how would I pay for college?”
“Adore, I can get you a scholarship or find you a sponsor or whatever, we can make this work if you want to do it.”

Adore ran her fingers over her nephew’s hair, she rested her head against the tree and took a long breath.

“Let’s do it.”

----

Next Monday, Latrice’s Dining 10:30am

Bianca put on her sunglasses and stepped out of her car, she gave herself a look on her car’s window, she wasn’t used to wear jeans a lot but she’d realized Adore kind of liked it when she wore them.

And besides, she needed to ask her why had canceled their appointment last Saturday.

“I’m being such an idiot, I'm way far from being a nervous teen.”

She walked inside the dining and saw a girl in roller skates taking orders to the clients that were sitting at the tables. Latrice was talking with a boy Bianca hadn’t seen before, she looked around looking for Adore but didn’t see her anywhere. She walked over to the counter where the redheaded girl was.

“Hi, uhm… Jinkx, is Blue around?”
“Blue? Oh, you mean Adore.”
“Yes, Adore.”
“She isn’t around anymore, at least here in the dining.”
“What do you mean?”
“She quit last week.”

Chapter Text

“What do you mean Blue quit? Why?”
“Her college tutor gave her the option to a three year graduate.” Latrice explained to her and handed her a cup of coffee. “In order to do it she needed to take the double of subjects this semester and the next one, she got a scholarship and everything, she decided to take the opportunity and quit here.”
“... And what did you say?”
“Nothing! It’s not my place to tell her anything about how she wants to live her life, girl. I didn’t tell you anything when you decided to study two degrees either, why would I do it now with her?”

Bianca shook her head, she took a sip of her coffee and rested her back on the chair, Adore had gotten a very good opportunity, Bianca herself knew how important scholarships were, she had had two of them, it was important for Adore to not waste the opportunity.

“Hi! I’m here from People’s magazine, is the Idol around? I wanted to make her some questions.”
“She doesn’t work here, ma’am.”
“Don’t lie to the media, little girl.” Bianca heard the woman say. “We know she works here, I’ve talked with her before, didn’t get the chance to have a long talk with her but yes, I’ve seen her around.”

Bianca turned around ready to slap that bitch, before she had the chance she noticed that she had already met with this woman before.

“Oh! The lady of the other day! Bianca del Río, the promised Broadway actress and designer!” The woman said and offered Bianca her hand.
“How do you know that?”
“My name is Lorena, we’ve already met before, you remember me? I came here a while ago to interview the Idol but you didn’t let me do it but now that you’re here I would like to ask you some questions.”

----

“Sweetie, are you sure you want to take nine subjects in a semester? Students normally only take five subjects per semester.”
“I’m sure.”
“Well, I don’t want to see you crying of exhaustion at the middle of the semester, got it?”
“Got it.”
“Girl, you really are taking eight subjects?”

Adore turned around and saw Laganja having a cigarette behind her, Adore kissed her cheek and signed the norm the academic secretary handed her.

“I’m taking nine subjects, girl, I wanna graduate in three years.”
“That’s having a lot of balls.” Laganja said and approached the academic secretary. “Hi Lou, I want to deregister a subject.”
“Mrs. Edwards is going to kill you if she finds out.”
“I’m not afraid of my mama, pass me the form, I don’t want to take calculus this semester.” Laganja said and patted her jeans. “Dude, can you lend me your pen?”
“Sure, here.” Adore handed Langanja her pen and the norm to the academic secretary.
“This should get done by the afternoon, you’ll receive an e-mail when it’s done.” She took Laganja’s norm as well. “The same to you, Langaja.”
“Thank you, Lou-Lou.” Laganja wrapped her arm over Adore’s shoulders as they left the rectory building. “Dude, do you want to smoke a blunt with me in the professor’s parking lot? I got some good stuff from Gia, you’re gonna love it.”
“I’d love to but I got a class to attend with you in case you forgot.”
“I heard that but for real? Right now? Don’t you have to go to work?”
“No, I quit last week, I couldn’t keep my work if I wanted to take more subjects.”
“Oh, that explains why mama and I didn’t see you there in the morning.”
“Sorry for not telling you.”
“Nah, it’s ok.” They climbed the stairs to the humanistic building two by two. “You and your girl are so hardworking, that explains the whole international scholarship.” They arrived at the vending machine, Laganja inserted a few coins and looked at the options.
“My scholarships is not-”
“Not yours, idiot, Tatianna’s.”
“Tati’s? Dude, what do you mean?”

Laganja gave her a confused look as she pressed her option on the machine.

“Girl, she is your girlfriend and you don’t know?”
“Don’t know what?”
“Tatianna got an international scholarship, she leaves for Italy next sunday.”

Adore rested her back on the vending machine, how could she not tell her? She didn’t want her to know? She was going to leave to another country without telling her anything? Tatianna leaving for Italy...

“She hasn’t been answering my calls or messages… Shit, she never told me anything about it.”
“Did you fight or something?”
“No… We haven’t talked, how are we supposed to fight if she doesn’t answer the phone?”
“Maybe she didn’t want to… You know, make you sad because she is leaving, I don’t know, she is weird.”
“I’d like to think that.”

She said to Laganja as they entered the classroom with Laganja holding her tight, Adore sat next to the window behind her friend, something did happen but it didn’t involve Tatianna, but Tatianna couldn’t know, it happened in her house and she wasn’t around to see a thing of what happened. She could not have seen them… But what if someone else saw them and told Tatianna about it? What if-

“Good morning, class.” Mrs. Hides’ voice interrupted her thoughts as she entered the classroom, the professor placed her stuff on the desk in front of them. “I think you already noticed it but in case you didn’t, today we have a new student joining our class a little bit late, miss Delano here would be joining us for the rest of the semester, do you want to say hello to your new classmates, darling?”
“Uhm… Me?” Mrs. Hides nodded, Adore sighed and got up from her seat, she gave a look around the classroom and waved her hand. “Hi, some of you may already know me, my name is Adore Delano and I’m a student from the music degree, hope we have a good semester... Thank you.”
“Thank you, miss Delano, you can take a seat.”

Adore sat back and took her notebook out, she tried to pay as much attention as she could but it was difficult after what Laganja had told her, Tatianna was leaving for Italy and she hadn’t told her anything? What was wrong with her? Adore followed Laganja to their next class together but it happened the same, she couldn’t focus.

She took her phone out and sent another text to Tatianna.

Adore <3: babe, we need to talk, please answer my calls or at least answer my texts
Adore <3: please, babe

She put her phone away hoping that when she took it again, Tatianna’s answer would be there.

----

Three classes had passed and Tatianna hadn’t answered any of her messages, she took a look at her timetable, she had a free hour before her class with Willam, she could go to check on the dorms if Tatianna was around.

“I have my oral expression class now, do you need any more help, Dorey?” Laganja told her and gave her back her lighter.
“Nope, I’m good.”
“Are you sure? You seem to be stressed out after that class with Jimbo, he can be a little too much sometimes.”
“Don’t worry about that, I’m ok. See you tomorrow.”
“See you, girl!”

Adore walked away following the path she had walked so many times holding Tatianna’s hand to the dorms, she had always walked this path holding Tatianna’s hand and it felt weird to do it alone for the first time, she arrived to the building and climbed the stairs to the second floor, she arrived to the 19th room and saw her name on the door.

Adore took a long breath and shook her hands.

“It’s now or never.”

She knocked on the door.

----

The door opened, Tatianna stood behind it still wearing her pajamas, her hair was messy, it seemed like she had never left the bed until Adore knocked on her door.

"Tati.”
“Danielle.”

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them, Adore looked down on her feet as Tatianna stood up without moving inside her room.

“Can I come in? I wanna talk to you.”
“I don’t feel like talking that much.”
“I… I can do the talking and you do the listening… If you want, I don’t wanna force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Tatianna looked at her for a moment, she nodded and let her in, Adore took her shoes off as Tatianna had asked her the first time they visited her room.

“I don’t like outside germs getting inside the room.”

Adore put them aside and gave a look to the room, Tatianna’s posters and pictures weren’t on the walls anymore, some of her clothes weren’t in her closet either, Adore saw her suitcases on her bed with some of her stuff inside, it seemed Laganja was right about Tati leaving soon.

“What is this, Tati?”
“What?”
“Why are you packing? Are you quitting?”
“I’m not quitting, I’m leaving.”
“What do you mean?”
“…”

Tatianna ignored her question and continued putting her clothes on the bed, Adore sighed, she got up and took Tatianna’s clothes from the bed, she started folding them and putting them inside the suitcase.

"I know you’re mad at me, you’ve been avoiding me, I can only imagine the reason why you’re mad but I don’t wanna make assumptions.” She folded her dresses and put them next to the blouses inside the suitcase. “I just want you to know that I love you a lot and I’m here to help you out with whatever you’re doing right now, wherever you’re going too.”
“Don’t say that stuff, Adore.”
“It’s the truth.”
“It isn’t.”
“It is.”
“No, it isn’t!”

Tatianna threw a rack of clothes to the floor, Adore looked up from the suitcase and looked at her, Tatianna was crying, Adore hadn’t noticed when Tatianna had started crying.

“Tati…”
“No, don’t call me Tati, your words and nicknames are mere bullshit, all lies!”
“What? No, I mean everything I’ve said to you, babe!”
“No, you don’t!”
“I do!”
“Then why did you kiss her? Why did you kiss that woman, Adore!?”

Tatianna shouted at her, Adore didn’t know how to react, Tatianna knew, Tatianna knew.

“What are you talking about? I don’t understand.”
“Don’t play the dummy, Adore, you aren’t dumb.” Tatianna said, her voice sounded ravenous as she spoke. “You talk about how much you love me, how much you adore me.” Tatianna said, taking her clothes out of the closet and throwing them to the floor. “You always said that you loved me, that you didn’t care about what other people thought of how I was as a person, you said you didn’t care about the fact your friends didn’t like me but all those words, all those words were lies, fucking lies!” Tatianna rested her head on the closet’s door letting her tears roll down her cheeks, Adore wanted to wipe her face clean, she wanted to hold her so bad and kiss the sadness away, but she remained sitting unmoving across the bed, she knew she couldn’t do that in this moment with Tatianna ranting and giving light hits on the door with her foot. “I’ve always been someone people didn’t trust that much after an old friend talked shit about me and made all of our mutual friends hate me, I thought my destiny was to be alone after that, then I met you, the Idol everyone loved but I had the chance to be the only one loved by her, and here we are six months later with the Idol cheating on me.”
“I didn’t cheat on you!”
“Then what was what I saw, Adore!? What was that!? You’re going to tell me that the fact that you kissed that woman, that you lifted her up like you were taking a peony out of her pot and that you pushed her against the wall as you stuck your tongue in her mouth wasn’t cheating? Because that is cheating to me!”

Adore was left out of words, she hadn’t seen it like Tatianna did, she had seen it just like a slip, not like a cheating but she had done it, she had cheated on Tatianna with Bianca.

“No papi, I can’t understand the stupid shit you did to mom because I’m not a piece of garbage like you, don’t ever talk to me, I don’t want to see your ugly face ever in my life!”

She was the same shit as her dad.

"What? You’re not gonna say a thing, Adore? You’re not gonna defend yourself? You don’t have something to say for yourself!?”

Adore felt the tears rolling down her cheeks, she hugged her knees and a sob escaped her lips.

"I… I didn’t think of it as cheating on you…”
“Tsk… Of course you didn’t.”
“I’m sorry, Tati.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry.”
“I am sorry!”
“You’re not!”
“I am, Tatianna! I am sorry, babe! I am so sorry!” Adore felt herself lose control on how she was feeling, she felt the tears rolling down her face, her makeup ruining on her face as she looked at Tatianna, she was crying too but was looking at the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. “People say that the apple doesn’t fall from the tree, it was about time until I resembled my stupid father, I resembled him in the worst way possible…”
“Adore…”
“I should have stopped myself, I shouldn’t have paid attention to her the first day she went to the dining but I didn’t.” Adore wiped her face with the sleeve of her flannel. “I should have looked away, I should have stopped it, I shouldn’t have talked with her, I shouldn’t have seen her as someone interesting and I shouldn’t have let her take me to school… I shouldn’t have started to feel something for her, I shouldn’t have started to have emotions towards her and I shouldn’t have kissed her but I did it and I didn’t stop it, I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I couldn't stop myself from catching feelings for her!”

Her words were difficult to understand with the sobbing and the hiccups, Adore rested her forehead on top of her knees as she continued crying.

“I love you so much, I never meant this to happen, Tati, I’m really sorry.”
“Don’t.”
“Tati…”
“Don’t continue.”
“But Tati-“
“You said it yourself, you have feelings for her, you should go back to her then.”
“Tati, don’t do this to me, I love you.”
“You don’t love me.”
“I do! And I’m sorry for what I did!”
“Stop this now! Don’t continue, Adore, if you continue I’m going to forgive you and kiss you and I don’t want to do that.”

Adore looked over her knees, Tatianna was standing in front of the suitcase with her fist tightened on a hoodie, it was Adore’s hoodie, the one she wore when she stayed over at her place.

“Stop it, stop this.”
“I can’t stop this, I want you to forgive me.”
“I can’t, I don’t want to do it.”
“But, Tati…”
“Don’t.” Tatianna said, she rested her back on the wall and slid down to the floor, covered her face with the hoodie and then handed it back to her. “Our choices are taking us to different places, I heard from Mr. Hall you’re going to be a three years graduate and that you’ll have your new album with some recorded songs you never talked about with me, congrats on that.”
“Tati…”
“My choices are taking me to Italy to continue studying communications, I’ll become a reporter and you hate reporters and paparazzis since the incident two years ago.”
“Don’t talk about that incident, please.”
“Sorry…” Tatianna cuddled the hoodie and sighed. “Besides, you chose Bianca, didn’t you?”

Adore looked at her in surprise.

“How do you know her name?”
“One of my classmates tried to board you with some questions in Latrice’s, Bianca stopped her from doing it so Lorena looked for information about her to sell the news as some gossip to a magazine, that the Idol had a new woman on her radar, that’s how I found out.”
“But nothing happened with Bianca that day, Tati.”
“That’s what I saw on the pictures she had taken, she needed more proofs and I wanted to prove her wrong so I drove over to your apartment the other night and saw you kissing her outside of your door.”

Adore covered her face with her hands, she felt her tears still rolling down her face again, she had fucked up so bad.

“Lorena hasn’t published anything if that’s what’s bothering you, if you don’t want her to post it you should talk to her.”
“Tati.”
“Take it back.” Adore looked up and saw Tatianna placing the hoodie over her knees, Adore shook her head.
“I can’t, keep it.”
“I can’t keep it either, it will hurt and I don’t want it to hurt.”
“Then throw it to the trash, it’s yours, Tati, do whatever you want with it but don’t give it back to me. I can’t it back.”
“... I can’t continue doing this, please leave.”
“Tati…”
“Can you please leave?” Tatianna said turning away from her, Adore could hear how broken her voice sounded and how much Tatianna was trying to hold back her sobs, it hurt her so bad to see her like this, but it hurt even more to know the reason of Tatianna’s pain was her. “I have so much to pack and little time, my flight was rescheduled to Wednesday’s night and I need to get everything done, I can’t do it with you here.”
“Tati, If you give me tonight I’ll... Only if you want to but if you-”
“I told you to cut it!”

Tatianna jumped to Adore with her hand up ready to slap her, Adore saw him as a flash in front of her eyes.

“Fucking slut, you love singing more than you love me.”
“Krys, stop!”

Tatianna stopped on her feet at what Adore said, shit, she looked at her hand up.

What the hell was she doing? It didn’t matter what Adore had done, she couldn’t slap her, she would remind Adore of her ex, she knew about him, the last thing she wanted to do was to remind Adore of that son of a bitch.

Tatianna walked over to the door and grabbed Adore´s shoes, she kneeled in front of where Adore was sitting, she reached for her but Adore moved away, Tatianna placed the shoes in front of her and breathed deeply before she talked.

“I’m sorry I did that, I didn’t want to do that... I’m going to help you to put your shoes on, I won’t do anything else, if you want me to step away you just have to say it.”

Tatianna didn’t see her move and Adore didn’t take her foot off of her hands, she undid the knot and put the shoe on her foot, she did the same with the other shoe and laced them, she got up and grabbed her makeup wipes.

“I’ll clean your face, you don’t look good right now."

Tatianna approached her hand to her face, at the sigh of Adore not moving away she started to wipe the rests of her makeup, she used three wipes and a little bit of cream under her puffy eyes.

Tatianna sighed and sat on her roommate's bed.

“I need you to leave now.”

Adore nodded, she got and left the hoodie on Tatianna’s bed.

“I told you I can’t take that with me, it smells like you a lot, if you don’t wanna keep it you can throw it away but don’t give it back to me, I can’t have it.”

Adore held the knob and gave a last look to her now ex-girlfriend.

“I’m sorry we ended up like this, I just… I just want you to know that I hope you find someone who is worthy of you, and I wish you all the luck of the world in Italy, you know the language and you’re a badass, you can do it.”
“Thank you… Adore?”
“Yes, baby?”

They shared a sad look on their eyes, Tatianna looked like she wanted to hug her but remained sitting on the bed.

“Good luck with your album, you’ll do great.” Tatianna smiled, it was a sad smile that broke Adore’s heart into a million pieces.
“Thank you.”

Adore shared the sadness on her smile, she nodded and walked out of the room, she ran down the stairs and sat under the willow tree outside of the dorms. She heard her phone ringing on her back pocket, it was a text.

Bianca: I didn’t know you quit from the dining

Bianca: do you want to have dinner tonight? I haven’t seen you in a while and I wanted to tell you something

Adore wiped her nose and replied the text.

Blue: I can’t, sorry, I’m busy

She didn’t want to see her, she felt like shit, she was shit, she was like her father.

Tatianna nor Bianca deserved to be with someone as shitty as her.

Love wasn’t for her.

Chapter Text

“You look like a sad puppy.”

Soleil said as she sat in front of Bianca, Bianca rolled her eyes and put her phone away.

“Is the Louisiana order ready for shipping?”
“Yup, all the tutus were put on boxes and are ready to be sent.”
“Get them on the truck and call Tyra, we’ll send her to the post office, I don’t want her bitching around.” She thought of the text Adore had sent her on Monday, she didn’t understand what was going on, the redhead girl only told her that she quit but didn’t tell her why and adding the idiot reporter the Russian girl kicked out of the dining, things weren't as good as she would like to. “I’m not in the mood.”

Soleil gave her a look, she grabbed one of the water bottles of the small freezer Bianca kept in her office and looked back at her.

“What is going on, Bianca?”
“What?”
“You hate being on the phone but can’t take your eyes off of it, it’s the Idol, right? Something happened with Adore, am I right?”

Bianca felt her face getting red, she turned around on her chair and held her temples.

“Don’t say stupid shit, Soleil, nothing happened.”
“Oh come on, we can all see something happened with the blue girl.” Bianca heard Raja say, she turned around on her chair and saw her friend enter her office with Tyra behind her. “Tyra needs you to sign the shipping forms.”
“Hand them to me.” Bianca signed the forms and handed them back to the girl. “Make sure they are shipped today and don’t roll your eyes on me, young lady.”

Tyra left her office and slammed closed the door, Raja sat on her desk and shared a fun look with Soleil.

“Come on, girl, tell us what happened with Adore.”
“Nothing happened between us.”
“You think we’re stupid, or what? We know you two kissed, you told us that when you were drunk.”
“I don’t like my drunk self, she gives all of my secrets away, that fucking bitch.”
“But girl.” Raja continued. “Adore didn’t come last Saturday and from what Latrice told us she quit her job.”
“Yes, I know that, the redhead told me.”
“She goes by Jinkx.”
“Whatever name she goes with.” Bianca said, she looked at her friends and rested her back on her chair. “I’m just worried about her, I wanted to invite her to dinner two days ago but she didn’t accept my invitation and now she is not answering the phone or my texts.”

Raja took her phone and read the text, she passed Soleil the phone and held her chin.

“You know where the girl lives, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then why don’t you show up with some food? Maybe some tacos or Chinese food or cook something for her, I don’t know what your girl likes.”
“She is not my girl.”
“Whatever you say, sad puppy.”

Bianca took back her phone and slapped Soleil’s hand.

“Shut up.”
“But I meant what I said.” Raja said. “Show up with some good food and maybe a coffee or something, we know a lady who once told us that food is the best medicine for someone’s heart.”
“Don’t talk about my mother’s teachings, Raja.”
“Is the only good teaching she gave us, Bianca.”

Bianca stopped paying attention to the conversation after that, maybe Raja was right and surprising Adore with her favorite food but she didn’t know what kind of food she liked, she didn’t want to give Adore a bad impression, she really wanted to give her a nice surprise, Bianca had never been good at relationships after the trauma she had with the first girl she had a thing with but this time she wanted to make things right.

What could Adore like?

----

“Bianca! The boxes are going to be shipped in the morning… Bianca, are you there?”
“If you’re looking for Bianca you aren’t gonna find her.”

Tyra looked to the elevator where Raja was waiting.

“Why?”
“She left early.”
“Why?”
“She had something to do, you can leave for the day too.”

Tyra saw Raja enter the elevator and leave her alone on their floor, what was this buffoonery?

----

Bianca turned off her car after parking in the same spot as the last time, she grabbed the plates of the food she had prepared and exited her car, she had thought a lot of what food to buy for Adore but she remembered what Raja and her mother had said a while ago.

“The quickest way to get into a man’s heart is by their stomach, food is the way.”

It was the first time she followed one of the teachings of her mother, it felt weird to follow it but it had paid off, she closed the door and crossed the street, she walked the stairs up and knocked on the door she knew was Adore's apartment.

Some seconds happened before the door opened, she saw the roller skates girl that worked at the dining open the door.

“Miss Bianca? What are you doing here?”
“It’s Blue around?” The blonde girl gave her a surprised look. “I brought her some food but she is not answering the phone.”
“… Give me a second.”

Bianca saw the girl close the door back, she sighed and rested her body against the wall. She didn’t want to think about it now but the feeling of the wall against her back made her think of that night, Adore holding her against the wall kissing her, squeezing her tights so hard, making her feel like-

“Bianca?”

Bianca shook her head and looked at the door, it was the other blonde girl, the one always wearing weird clothes.

“You… What’s your name, again?”
“Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova but you can call me Katya.”
“Katya will be then.” Bianca said, pushing away her memories of that night. “Is Adore home? The other blonde didn’t tell me if she was here.”
“Yes, she is home, she has a cold tho so that’s why she’s been weird, she doesn’t feel well.”
“Oh… I didn’t know.”
“She is in treatment but is not in the mood of seeing anyone but you can come in, maybe you will cheer her up a bit.”
“Are you sure?”
“As sure as the pink one is terrify.”
“Hey!”

Katya wheezed in laughter and let Bianca in, Bianca didn’t get to see the insides of Adore’s apartment last time, it was obvious that the apartment had been taken over by college students, there was a lot of stuff all over the place, books, posters, a lot of alcohol bottles, it reminded her of her apartment back in New York when she was a student herself.

“Adore’s room is the one that has a Cindy Lauper poster on the door.” Katya said and sat with the other blonde on the couch. “The door is not locked but knock before going inside.”
“Sure, thank you.”

Bianca walked to the part of the house where the rooms where, one of the doors was closed and had a lot of weird symbols on it, the other one was wide opened and Bianca could see a lot of art supplies, a lot of weird looking dolls and a pipe with a small bag of weed on the desk, she didn’t want to ask about it, she looked at the other door, Bianca recognized Cindy Lauper on it, it was the one of the “Girls just want to have fun” video, Bianca smiled and knocked on the door.

“Blue? Blue, are you up? It’s me, Bianca.”

She didn’t get an answer.

“Blue?” She knocked on the door again. “I know you haven’t been really well these past days, your friend told me, I brought you some caldo de pollo if you’re hungry.”
No answer again.
“Blue?” She knocked on the door one more time but got no response from Adore, she sighed and looked at the food, maybe Adore was not in the mood for homemade soup or maybe she didn’t want to see her. “I guess you don’t want to see me right now so I’ll leave the food in your fridge and I’ll leave, I’ll call you later.”

Bianca was about to walk back to the living room when the door opened, Adore’s pale hand grabbed Bianca’s arm, her hand felt really hot on Bianca’s cold skin.

“You… You can come in, Bea.”

Bianca hadn’t heard Adore’s voice so low in the time she had known her, it made her worry.

“Sorry my room it’s a little messy… I haven’t felt the best these days to clean it up.”

Adore fully opened the door and let Bianca in, Bianca looked around the room, Adore had a lot of bands and singers’ posters all over the room walls, a lot of photos and magazine cuts as well, her nightstand had a lot of cups and plates, they were even on the floor and desk over the computer as well, she had dirty clothes on her chair and at the foot of her bed.

“I’m sorry, I know you don’t like mess-“

Adore didn’t get to end her sentence, she collapsed on the floor in front of Bianca, Bianca put the food on the nightstand and held Adore on her arms, she got her up and helped her lay down on her bed.

“Adore, you’re not ok.” Bianca rested her hand on her forehead. “You have a fever.”
“It’s not that bad, Bea…”

Bianca put her hand on Adore’s cheeks, she was burning up.

“The fever is talking, give me a second.”

Bianca walked out of the bedroom to the bathroom, she grabbed one of the small towels the girls had and soaked it with cold water, she went back to Adore’s room, Adore was sitting on the floor gathering all of the plates and glasses.

“What are you doing on the floor, Blue? Go back to bed.”
“I don’t want you to be here with my mess.”
“I don’t care about the mess, Blue, I care about you feeling better.” Bianca said, she helped Adore back to bed and tucked her with her blanket, she folded the wet towel and put it on her forehead. “Rest, don’t force yourself, I’ll be-”

Bianca got up from the bed but was stopped by Adore, Adore grabbed her hand and pulled her back to bed.

“Can you please stay… for a little bit? I don’t want to be alone.”

Bianca felt like screaming inside her head but nodded, she got under the blanket and felt the warm body of Adore cuddle next to her, Adore wrapped her arm around her lap and rested her head against Bianca, she could feel her jeans getting wet because of the towel but didn’t move. Adore seemed really sick and tired, she understood why, the girl was a college student, being a college student was hard as hell and it was normal that a student fell sick because of stress, it had happened to her a lot of times, she couldn’t blame the girl.

She heard a small snore coming from Adore, she had fallen asleep, Bianca smiled and carefully got up trying not to wake her up, she put one of the stuffed animals Adore had in her bed between her arms and let her sleep. Adore really looked calm like this, she hadn’t seen her like this before, she looked adorable.

Bianca shook her head and looked around the room again, she was sure this mess wasn’t because of the flu.

She sat on the edge of Adore’s bed, she thought of her own room in Dela’s house when she first moved in with her after her parents kicked her out, the boxes, the clothes, the pictures and fabrics all over the room, the smell of the room and the coldness of her loneliness all over the room. Her room was a mirror of how she had felt and this was the exact same.

It was a depressing picture until Raja and Dela stepped in.

Adore needed someone to step in for her too.

“... I’ll step in for you, Adore.”

----

Adore woke up to the smell of someone cooking, she got up from her bed and saw a wet towel falling off from her forehead, she reached for her sandals under her bed but didn’t find them there.

“What the hell?” She looked up and saw her room but it didn’t look like her room, all of her dirty clothes, the plates, the old food and the trash were gone, it even smelled like Fabuloso all over the room. “What happened here?”

She found her sandals on the back of her closet, she noticed all of her clothes had been washed and put away on the rags, had her mom came over and didn’t tell her anything? Adore walked out of the room to the kitchen and what she saw surprised her, it was Bianca with the stove on talking with Katya and Trixie who were sitting on the counter, the three of them were laughing as Bianca was focusing on whatever food she was cooking on one of their pans.

“You don’t want to use that shitty ass threat because it will always… Blue! You’re awake!”
“Bianca… What are you doing here?”
“You don’t remember?”

…

Fuck.

“Don’t tell me we had sex.”

The three women looked at her startled, Katya wheezed in laughter and Trixie screamed laughed, Bianca couldn’t help it and joined the blondes laughing, Adore didn’t understand why they were laughing but couldn’t keep a straight face after Bianca laughed harder, her laugh was high pitched and it sounded so weird, it match up with how Bianca presented herself.

“What’s with that laugh, Bianca?” Adore asked her laughing, Bianca wiped a tear from her eye and looked at her.
“I could have my ugly ass laughing hidden if someone didn’t make these stupid questions, Jesus, it had been a while since someone made me laugh this much, holy shit!”

Adore jumped over the counter and sat next to Katya, Trixie sat on Katya’s legs leaving Adore more space, Adore looked over at Bianca, she had a plate of mashed potatoes and had spaghetti on the pan, there was also a bowl with some soup next to the stove.

“Two things, first; that thing smells amazing and two; really, what happened?”

Bianca grabbed a plate and served a portion of spaghetti and mashed potatoes, she grabbed an apple and sliced it on the plate.

“I came over to see how you were feeling since you weren’t answering your phone, I found you with fever and collapsing on the floor so I helped you out, I cleaned up your room and washed your clothes.” She handed her the plate with a fork. “From what I saw something is going on with you.”

Adore looked at Bianca, her look wasn’t fun as the one before, her look was serious.

“Well… Trix and I have to go now, we need to go buy… Hmm…”
“Food, food is what we need!”
“But-“
“See you in a bit!”

Adore saw the blondes leaving the apartment like their lives depended on it, it was only her and Bianca now, Adore looked down to her plate, she could still feel Bianca’s eyes on her.

“Do you want to talk about what is bothering you?”

Adore nodded.

“Let’s go to your table.”

Adore sat on her usual spot, she saw Bianca put a mug in front of her, it smelled like…

“Is this hot chocolate?... Do I smell chocolate abuelita?”
“It is… My mother used to think chocolate healed the heart when it’s broken, she was kind of a bitch but… Sorry, this isn’t about me, it’s about you.”
“Bea…”
“I’m sorry.” Bianca said, she sat on the chair in front of her and took a sip of the chocolate. “Sometimes I bring her up without thinking, it’s an old habit when I’m nervous.”
“Why would you be nervous?”

Bianca gave her a sarcastic look.

“Well, kid, the last time I was here we ended up making out outside of your house, you tell me.”
“Oh… That… Yeah, I get it.” Adore ate a big portion of the mashed potatoes and spaghetti, she moaned and looked at Bianca. “Bea, this tastes amazing!”
“Thank you, old family recipe.”
“It’s really good.” She took a sip of the chocolate and smiled, she felt the hot liquid go down her throat and her thoughts went back to when she was kid, when she didn’t have responsibilities nor something to worry about, just her family and her drinking chocolate while watching TV. “This really takes me back to when I was kid, I love it.”
“Glad to know we feel the same way about it.”

Bianca waited until Adore had finished eating, she poured more chocolate to their mugs and passed one to Adore.

“I can see you’ve been avoiding the subject so I guess you don’t want to talk about it, at least with me.”

Adore looked down on her mug seeing the smoke coming out of it, she shook her head and talked without looking at Bianca.

“It’s complicated.”
“Life it’s complicated, Blue, if it was easy it wouldn’t be life, don’t you think? Life is not like the fucking Sims.”
“You play The Sims!?”
“Of course I do, what did you think? I may be in my thirties but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy some fun from time to time, kid.”
“I didn’t know you liked The Sims! That’s great!”
“Blue.”
“What Sims do you play? I still play The Sims 2 because I haven’t had the opportunity to buy the new one-“
“Blue.”
“-but I really want to play it, I’ve seen the trailers and it looks dope.”
“Adore.”

Adore looked up from her mug and saw an irritated Bianca, it was a look Adore did not like it.

“You’ve never called me by my name…”
“You’re avoiding the subject again.”

Bianca saw Adore using the fork to play with the potatoes and her leg was shaking under the table.

“Do you promise you won’t hate me after this?”

Bianca was caught off guard by Adore’s question, what could this girl possibly have done to be afraid of her hating her?

“I would never be capable of hating you.”
“I don’t think so…”
“Blue, you can tell me… Is it about the kiss? You didn’t like it?”
“The kiss? No! I loved the kiss!”
“Then?”

Adore sighed and covered her face with her hands, she looked up to the ceiling blinking trying to avoid crying.

“We shouldn’t have kissed that time.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I… It’s just…”
“Let me guess, it was a slip because you were curious and you’re straight, aren’t you?”

Bianca had gone through this situation multiple times, she would be in a ball back in New York and a cute girl would approach her, they would make out, have sex in the bathroom and then she would ghost her, when they would meet again the girl would tell her she is straight and has a loving husband and two kids at home waiting for her.

On other occasions a girl would board her in a club, they would make out and then the girl would just disappear, it was the same over and over, she was used to it by now.

“No! It’s not that!” Adore told her, she reached for Bianca’s hand but stopped herself from holding it. “I… I do like girls, in fact I… I…”
“If you like girls then why was it wrong for us to kiss?”
“Bianca, I… I am dating someone, or was in the moment we kissed.”

Bianca choked on her chocolate at Adore’s statement, she felt her hand shaking, she put the mug on the table before she dropped it to the floor. She breathed hard before she looked again at Adore, she was sitting with her knees against her chest, her forehead against her knees avoiding her look.

“And… And I feel like shit because of that, I didn’t want to be a cheater like my father was to my mom but… I don’t know what happened to me, I love Tatianna a lot but… I started to have feelings towards you as well and I don’t know why, it just happened.”
“...”
“She found out and broke up with me, I haven’t felt well since then, I feel like shit and I guess my body felt like shit too and that’s why I shut down.”
“You got sick on a broken heart… I know the feeling.”
“You do?”
“Look, I don’t condemn what happened, we are not fucking Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, you know that it was wrong and that’s good, you know you made a mistake.”
“I know…”
“I have to say the next thing then.”
“What?”

Bianca straightened her back and put her hands together in front of her eyes.

“We are not going to be a thing, at least for now.”
“But-”
“Don’t, let me finish.”

Adore sat back and looked at Bianca, the way she looked was different than the way she normally looked when she was with her, the look on her eyes was colder than usual, Adore didn’t like it.

“You are heartbroken, you are just coming out from a relationship that didn’t end well… I don’t want to be your spite date.”
“You won’t be that! I would never treat you like that!”
“You won’t see it in that way, but that’s the way I’d feel it.”
“I…”
“I will be there for you and I won’t let you live this by yourself.”
“What? Really? After I made you feel bad after what I did?”
“Look, you are young, young people make mistakes, all of us made mistakes in a point of our lives and we don’t deserve to be punished by that, we don’t deserve to go through something tough by ourselves…. That’s the worst thing someone could live, and from what I saw you are punishing yourself, unconsciously and I don’t want you to be alone and do this to yourself.”
“Bianca…” Adore reached for Bianca’s hand over the table but stopped herself from doing it so, Bianca shook her head, she reached for Adore’s hand and held her hand tight,

Adore noticed Bianca’s hand was smaller than her but was protective, caring, it was warm on her skin, Bianca caressed her with her thumb as she spoke.

“I’m going to be here for you, I want you to heal and when you are healed, if you still want to have something with me, I'll be honored to accept but not right now.”
“Bianca… Shit!”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“I just saw the clock, I wanted to do something but I’m running late.” Adore let go of Bianca’s hand and ran to the window. “Shit, shit, shit, Katya took the car with her.”
“What’s so important you have to do you’re so frantic?”

Adore grabbed a tortilla from the counter and put all of the mashed potatoes on it.

“Blue, what’s going on with you?”
“I… You’ll say it’s childish.”
“Oh come on, girl, what can be worse than what you just told me?”

Adore ran to her room and left with an oversized shirt as a dress and was putting on a pair of converse.

“Tatianna, my… My ex is leaving today for Italy, I wanted to go and say a last goodbye before she left…”
“... Are you for real?”
“I told you you were gonna think it was childish.”
“... Do you want me to drive you to the airport?”
“What?”

Bianca got up from her chair approaching her, Bianca put her hair together in a high ponytail and used her rubberband on it.

“I mean it, do you want me to take you there to say your goodbyes?”

Bianca’s hand caressed her face as she asked her, Adore felt a shiver through her body as Bianca asked her, this was too much for her, how could she have her in the same room as both Tati and Bianca? She would look like the worst human being on earth.

“You don’t have to do that.”
“But I want to.”
“It’s not fair for you.”
“Life isn’t fair, kid.”
“Don’t call me kid.”
“You’re younger than me, aren’t you?”

Adore reached for Bianca’s hand, this time she didn’t stop herself from doing it so, she noticed Bianca’s hands were rougher on her palms, it didn’t feel weird for her.

“I feel like…”
“Like what?”
“I don’t like it… Can you stick to the Blue and… My name?”

Bianca looked at their hands, she interlinked their fingers together and nodded.

“Blue will be then for now.” She gave her a quick kiss on her hand and let go of their grip, she reached for her keys on her back pocket. “Get in my car, we have a plane to catch.”

----

“Do you have all you need? Passport, the university and mobility documents?”
“I do, I have them in my backpack.”
“Your phone is charged?”
“It is.”
“Ok, good.”
“I need to go aboard now.”
“I know, Tatianna, we just want to make sure you have everything you need for your flight.” Her mother said as she kissed Tatianna’s forehead. “We are so proud of you, you know that?”

Tatianna nodded as she looked around, she knew Adore wasn’t going to come to say goodbye after their breakup but she still had the hope she would come.

“Mia figlia.” Her mom said. “I know you’re sad because of what happened with your girlfriend but you have to stay focused, try to not distract yourself, don’t let profesor Visage down after she got you the scholarship.”
“I won’t, mom.” Tatianna said and hugged her mother again. “I love you, I’ll call you when I get to Rome.”
“You better do, my child.”
“I’ll get going, see you!”
“Bye, bye!”
“WAIT!”
“Wha-”

Tatianna felt two strong arms wrap around her almost making her fall, she recognized that strawberry perfume immediately, she wanted to push her away so bad but at the same time she didn’t want to do so. She wrapped her arms around Adore too and hid her face on the curve of her neck.

“I wanted to say goodbye before you left.”
“...”
“You’re wearing my hoodie.”
Tatianna covered her face with the hoodie’s sleeves.
“It’s warm and Italy right now is cold as balls.” Adore chuckled and pinched her nose.
“You’re really bad at lying.” She took a step back and sighed. “I know you’ll do amazing and you’ll make Italy your bitch, I want all the good shit to happen to you and I want you to find a nice italian girl who will make you happy, please be happy and proud and a bad bitch, show off and be super badass.”
“I will.”
“Please be happy, Tati, be fucking happy.”
“I will.”
“I’m sorry.”
“... I told you to not say that again.”
“You know I won’t listen to you.”

The two girls looked at each other for the last time, Tatianna looked like she wanted to say something else but didn’t do it, instead she grabbed her suitcase and turned around, she heard Adore call for her name one last time but didn’t turn to see her, she knew she would not get on the plane if she did so.

She walked away feeling the tears roll down her face.

----

Bianca saw Adore running towards the girl, she recognized her, she was the girl that she and Phoenix saw outside of Latrice’s, she wanted to say something but it wasn’t the moment, it was the girl and Adore’s moment, they embraced each other as it was the last time they would see each other, Bianca knew this probably was the last time they would see each other.

Bianca felt her heart ache as the girls exchanged their goodbyes, she saw Adore cry as the girl walked away with her suitcase and crossed the door.

Her heart ached as Adore walked back to her and as she held her while Adore cried on her chest.

What did I get myself into?

----

Lorena had a fun look on her eyes as she snapped one more photo and walked out of the airport holding her camera.

"Oh, Idol... You're gonna be on the magazines' covers again very soon."

Chapter Text

It was almost the end of Adore's semester, after the airport Adore had been a rollercoaster of emotions, that night when they went back to her apartment Bianca helped her to climb the stairs and tucked her in her blankets. Adore had asked her to spend the night with her, no kissing, no sex just to sleep next to her, and Bianca had said yes and snuggled next to Adore, Adore had wrapped her arms around Bianca's stomach and cried most of the night, Bianca remained awake drawing circles on Adore's back until she fell asleep past three in the morning. That night Bianca didn’t sleep much, she stayed up most of the night watching Adore sleep, the next morning Adore showed a smile and prepared breakfast for her, it was so different from the girl that had cried herself to sleep on Bianca’s arms, Bianca was so confused but then noticed she put on that facade whenever her friends were around, Adore allowed herself to be vulnerable only when she was around Bianca and Bianca didn’t mind; there were days where Adore would arrive to Bianca’s office and just sit on her lap while Bianca was running numbers, some other times Adore would just arrive with all of her music stuff and work next to Bianca in her studio.

They had fallen into a routine and Bianca was not uncomfortable with it, she saw Adore getting back her smile slowly and Bianca was happy but sometimes, whenever she had the younger woman asleep over her snoring against her chest Bianca would contemplate the option of leaving as she normally did back when she lived in New York, she didn't like to engage to someone, she always left before they had the chance to hurt her but this time she didn't do that, it didn't feel right. She looked down to Adore who was sleeping against her chest as they have done so many times, she had bags under her eyes and looked really tired because of her finals, Bianca sighed and gave her a small kiss on her forehead before she fell asleep as well with her arms around her, she had decided she would stay as long as Adore wanted her around.

“This is nice…”

----

"Well look at you."
"What?"

Latrice handed Bianca a cup of coffee while Adore jumped over the counter and hugged Willam.

"I didn't know you and young Adore were a thing."
"What?"
"You look very happy with her."
"Oh my God, we are not dating, Latrice." Bianca took a sip of her coffee and looked at Adore, she had her arm around Willam while she prepared some weird drink with matcha for the people on the drive-through, she felt annoyed and looked back at her sketchbook. "I know you're looking at me with that stupid mom look, stop it."
"I ain't doing nothing."
"We are not a thing, stop giving me that look."
"Bianca!"
"Yes, my dear?"
"What are we doing today? Tell them."

All of the girls looked at her, Bianca heard Latrice chuckle under her breath and kicked her leg under the table, she cleared her throat and looked at her.

"We have a meeting about the commercial.'
"See?" Adore told Willam, the blonde girl rolled her eyes and passed the money to the goth girl on the cashing machine. "I'm a businesswoman like Bea now.”
“That explains Bianca’s Parsons hoodie you’re wearing, Adore,” Latrice said. “Now Bianca needs your California University hoodie and you two will look like wives.”

Bianca choked on her coffee and looked back at the girls, Adore was so red she looked like a tomato, Bianca was sure she looked as red as Adore and looked away at window. She could listen to the girls screaming and laughing, Latrice laughed as well and ruffled Bianca's hair.

"Why are you so red, Bea?"

Bianca kept looking away, this was not ok, was it?

----

"Hey? Courtney calling Bianca, are you two even paying attention to us?" Bianca shook her head and nodded, Courtney gave her an annoyed look and looked back at the computer, Adore chuckled under the hoodie she was wearing but nodded. "I love everything about this, I'm sure this is the song that goes along the commercial, kudos to the idol here for this!"
Adore hid her face under the hoodie, Bianca smiled and grabbed her leg.
"Accept a compliment, Blue! It's not an easy task to have a compliment from that bitch, she's very intense when it comes to music."
"Besides being that old scang's assistant I'm a music teacher, my orchestra always wins the state competition and that's how it will always be! Of course I have to be very demanding and intense!"
"Pay her no mind."
"Back to what I was saying!" Courtney said and clapped her hands. "This is really good, I love it, you should release another album, mate!"
"I'm actually working on that."
"You are?"
"Yes." Adore pulled out a notebook from her backpack and showed it to them. "This album will be my thesis."
"Can we give them a look?"
"Hmmm… No, not yet." Adore said and held the notebook against her chest. "I'll show them to you when they're ready."
"As you wish."
"Bitches!" Soleil entered Bianca's office dancing with a bunch of envelopes in her hands. “We just got a letter, we just got a letter! We just got a letter, I wonder whom it’s from!”
“Give me that.” Adore saw Bianca take the envelope from Soleil, Soleil gave Adore a fun smile and rested her hands in front of her. “That’s a nice hoodie, a Parsons’ hoodie! I wonder where did you get- Ow!” Bianca hit Soleil’s cheek with the envelope she had just given her, Soleil looked so offended Adore could not resist laughing. “What was that for?”
“That’s for being nosey, can’t you give me a moment alone to read my niece’s letter?”
“Grumpy bag of bones.”
“Bunny is not here, dumbass!... Adore, wait.”
“Yes, baby?”
“You can stay.”
"Ah?" They heard Soleil say. "Why?"
"Don't act like a brat, Sunnyside up." Courtney sat Soleil in one of the chairs, she grabbed the CDs Adore had brought along and pushed them out of the office. "I’ll take this to our people from the communications department so it’s used in the commercial, thank you!”

They saw the two women leave, Adore laughed and got up from the chair.

“Where are you going, Blue?”
“I don’t want to interrupt you reading your niece’s letter.”
“You’re not interrupting anything,” Bianca said, she sat on the sofa and opened her arms for her. “Come sit with this old lady.”
“You’re not old, Bea.” Adore said, she sat between Bianca’s legs and looked up to her. “Just a little, not too much.”

Bianca messed Adore’s hair and opened the envelope, she recognized the cursive handwriting of her niece and smiled as she started reading the first lines of her.

Tía! I hope this letter finds you well and good!

I’ve been doing good since our last letter and this letter is pretty much to congratulate you! I just saw that your studio is going to be part of the Milan event! I can’t wait to see how that turns out! I also want you to tell me who that secret singer you don’t want to tell me is going to help you with the music, I want to know!

Bianca laughed again and finished reading the letter, Adore grabbed the envelope and looked at the inside, it had some polaroids, in the polaroids was a young teenager with long brown hair and big eyes wearing a beautiful red dress.

“This is your niece?” She asked Bianca.
“That’s her.”
"You made this dress."
"I did." Bianca said. "I love making dresses for her and she loves the dresses I make for her, I also make the costumes she needs for her ballet presentations."
"Ohh! Is she the prima ballerina?"
"She's more into latin rhythms and mexican folklore because of her mom but my idiot brother insists on her doing ballet."
"I remember you once mentioned you don't get along with him."
"... You could say it like that."
“What’s the name of your niece?”
“Valentina.”
“Valentina? Like the salsa?”

Bianca wheezed a laugh and covered her eyes, Adore got up and turned to see her.

“I mean it! Like the salsa I poured in my cheetos last night?” Adore saw Bianca just laugh harder and couldn’t help but join her, Bianca wiped a tear and looked at Adore.
“Yes, Blue, like the salsa.”
“I knew it!” Bianca chuckled again and undid Adore’s bun, she ran her fingers on Adore’s hair and kissed it.
“You need to do your roots, Blue.”
“I know, Katya was going to do them but she hasn’t been in her best since she stopped using… She's busy and can't help me do them."
“What if I help you to do them? We can go to my place tonight and I’ll help you bleach them and dye them, what do you think?”

Adore looked away for a moment, she had never been in Bianca’s place before, most of the times they hanged out in her apartment and she really wanted to see how Bianca's place was like but at the same time it was a little bit intimidating, Bianca was a business woman with her perfect life, Adore sometimes felt like she didn’t fit with Bianca with all of her messy life around and going to her place was trespassing the boundaries they had set weeks ago, even though they had already trespassed some of them this was the one she hadn't want to break yet.
But at the same time Bianca was always at Adore’s place, they had not done anything bad since then, just sleeping together but nothing else than sharing Adore’s bed, there was nothing bad on that, right?

“Blue?”
“Sure! I just need to go buy my dye.”
“We can go on our way to my place.” Bianca said, she got up from the sofa and offered Adore her hand. “Come on, let’s get your bike on the back of my car, kid.”
“I told you to not call me kid.” Adore said and took Bianca’s hand.
“Sorry, I’ll stick to Blue.”

----

“You can stay here while I get the bathroom ready, just give me a second.”
“You don’t want any help?”
“You’re my guest tonight, I’ll do it myself, don’t worry about that.”

Bianca raised her hand towards Adore’s face but held it back, she walked away to the bathroom, Adore looked at the hall where Bianca had disappeared, she wasn’t sure but it looked like she wanted to hold her face before she left.

Shit.

This was not going to be as easy as she thought it would be.

Adore gave a look around the place, when they parked outside she had noticed this was the old place Latrice used to lived in, she had come here many times before and she and the girls had even helped her to move out when Latrice had bought her new home with her fiancee, this made her less nervous but now she didn't recognize the apartment at all.
The walls were painted in the whitest white ever, Bianca had a bookcase that took the biggest wall and was decorated with pictures and polaroids, most of them were of Bianca's niece, from a little girl to the teenager she had seen on the polaroid.

"Teenagers scare the shit out of me…"

Adore turned to the wall and saw even more pictures, one of them was the one she had seen before on the internet; Bianca as Mimi in Rent, there were a lot of pictures of her wearing different costumes, she recognized the one of Elphaba and smiled, Bianca really looked like she was glowing on those pictures. She walked along the wall and looked at the other pictures, there was one that caught her eye, it was her again in the Mimi costume with a lot of people around her, one of them was a really tall white woman with blonde hair and next to hair Latrice, she looked really young in the photo, there was one more face that she recognized, it was Agnes, her lawyer and she had her arms around Bianca in the picture, she took the photo and looked at the back of it.

First Bianca’s show on Broadway, Bianca as Mimi Marquez in Rent. 1997.

“I have everything done in… What are you doing, girl?”
“Sorry, I was looking at your photos.”
“I see that one caught your attention.”
"You know Agnes?" Adore asked her and pointed to the photo, Bianca looked at it and nodded.
"Yes, Agnes lived with the LGBT support group I lived with back in New York, she worked as a singer and actress until she got her lawyer degree and moved to California, why do you ask? Do you know her?"
"I do, she… She helped my family out with some family business a few years ago."
“Wow… The world is really small.” Bianca took the photo and smiled, she looked at Adore and noticed she looked awfully off, nothing like the girl had entered her apartment a few moments ago. “Is there something wrong?”
“No, it just brings back memories.”
“Bad memories?”
“Something like.”

Bianca put the picture back on the wall, she held Adore's hand and walked her to the bathroom, she handed her an old shirt while she prepared the bleach, Adore put it on covering the scar from her abdomen and looked at Bianca.

“You don’t want to talk about it?”
“I don’t really talk about those bittersweet moments, only with Raja and Bunny.”
“Who’s Bunny?”

Bianca started to brush Adore’s hair and separated in sections.

“The blonde lady in the picture.” Bianca said and started to work on her roots. “She is a social worker and professor, she works in high schools all over the country and worked for a while back in my high school in Louisiana back in the nineties, she helped out when my parents kicked me out.”

Adore opened her eyes in surprise at what Bianca told her, she looked at her in the mirror reflection but Bianca didn’t look up from her hair.

“She helped me a lot and even found me scholarships for me to study college, I have a degree in acting and one in fashion design thanks to her, she took me to New York where I studied my two degrees and lived for a while, that’s what she does as a social worker but I consider her more as my mother than my real mother… I haven’t heard from her for a while… Don’t feel bad for me, Adore, I prefer it that way.”

Adore remained silent for a moment, Bianca kept working on her hair and kept talking.

“It was difficult at the beginning but I got some real good friends that helped me out when I needed them.”
“One of them was Raja, wasn’t she?”
“Did she tell you?”
“Nope, I figured it out myself, you have a picture of your graduation in your desk.”

Bianca smiled, she nodded and started working in the front of Adore’s hair.

“Yes, one of them was Raja.”
“And what about the other girl in the picture? The black haired girl.”

Bianca sighed, she grabbed a lock from Adore’s hair and put the bleach in it

“Her name is Delilah, we call her Dela.” Bianca explained as she finished with her hair and grabbed a plastic bag from the sink. “She gave a room in her house to stay and had a beautiful dog that understood I was in a really bad place after what happened in my house, her dog slept with me pretty much every night that I stayed with her, she had a dorky dude as her boyfriend and her dad was really nice, something very different from my mother.” Bianca wrapped the plastic bag around Adore’s hair and tied it in the back. “She’s not around anymore, if that’s what you wanted to ask.”
“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
“Adore.” Adore looked up and saw Bianca smiling, Bianca took the gloves off and squeezed Adore’s cheek. “I’m not sad, it’s actually nice to talk about her sometimes, I don’t get to do that a lot these days.” Bianca pinched her nose and smiled again. “Thank you for that.”

Adore smiled and squeezed Bianca’s hand, after the bleaching finished Bianca blow dried her hair and applied the dye, Adore loved the feeling of Bianca doing her hair, she was really careful not like Katya who enjoyed playing around with everyones’ hair, she still remembered the time Katya was high and dyed her hair orange and then shaved it because she got scared of her own reflection, Bianca was not like that and Adore really enjoyed it, she could fall asleep on Bianca’s touch and she knew Bianca would mind.
Bianca blow dried her hair after washing the remains of the dye and brushed it, she held a mirror for Adore to see it.

“So? What do you think?”
“Fucking party! I love it! It looks great!”
“You're welcome, Blue.”
“How did you learn to do this shit?”
“Working as a peformer sometimes you need to style your own wigs, that means dye them sometimes.”
“It looks sick, I love it.”
“I’m happy to hear that.”

The two of them were inches apart from each other, Adore knew that if she got closer their lips would meet, they would kiss again and she knew Bianca would not get away from her, she would kiss her back. She remembered how soft and plump Bianca’s lips were and she had been missing that feeling, maybe this one time it would be ok to just…

They heard a phone ringing from the living room, Adore pressed her lips in a tight line and sighed.

“It’s mine, I’ll go get it.”
“Sure… I’ll-I’ll prepare us something to eat.”

The two women walked out of the bathroom, Bianca saw Adore grab her phone from her backpack as she opened the fridge, she ran her hands on her face as she took a long breath, what the fuck had that been? She was the one to have settled the boundaries with Adore and if the phone hadn’t ran she would have kissed her right there in her bathroom.
Bianca looked at her reflection in the wine bottle and shook her head.

“I’m a fucking idiot.”

She took the lasagna leftovers that Latrice had given her and put them in the oven, she started to prepare a salad while she waited for Adore, she could see her from the window talking on the phone, she wondered who she was as she sliced an apple in small pieces.

----

“Who the fuck gave you my number?”
“I looked for it in papi’s phone.”
“Don’t call him papi, that’s gross.”
“He’s my dad too.”
“You say it like I give a shit about that.” Adore lit a cigarette and heard her father’s daughter talk on the other line. “So? Why did you call, chamaca?”
“Papi wants to know if you’re coming to his birthday party tomorrow, he says you’re not answering his calls and texts.”
“I told him to not contact me, why is he surprised?”
“He just wants to know if you’re coming or not.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“That’s not an answer, Adore.”
“That’s the only answer you’ll get from me.”
“Adore.”
“I’m on a date, I’ll call later.”
“Adore!”

Adore hung up and step on her cigarette, she pressed her forehead against Bianca’s wall and looked at the missing calls from her father.

“He does not understand what no means.”

She walked back inside and saw the table ready with food and Bianca serving two plates of food.

“Hope you like lasagna leftovers because that’s all I have to eat.”
“It’s better than anything Jinkx cooks.” Adore sat in the chair in front of Bianca, Bianca poured her a glass of wine. “Thank you.”
“What happened out there? You look annoyed.”
“It was my half sister.” Adore explained. “My dad is having a birthday party tomorrow and they want me to go but I don’t want to, my mom always spends her time only with my nephews, my brothers with their wives and I stay all alone and have to deal with my dad by myself, I don’t wanna go.”

Adore looked at her reflection on the glass of wine and took a sip.

“It’s not the best way to spend a day.”
“What if I go with you?”
“What?”

She looked at Bianca surprised, Bianca shrugged her shoulders and took a bite of the lasagna.

“I mean it, I know thow o deal with difficult families myself, if everything gets too much I’ll get us in my car and we’ll drive away.”
“... That’s not fair.”
“It’s ok.”
“It’s not ok, Bea.” Adore said, she put her fork down and looked away from Bianca. “You do a lot for me and I don’t do anything for you, you going with me all the way to Azusa to deal with my difficult dad is too much, it’s not fair.”
“Blue.”
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Blue.”
“It’s not fair.”
“Adore.” She hadn’t noticed when Bianca had gotten up from her chair, Bianca grabbed Adore’s hands and took Adore’s chin in her cold fingers to look at her. “I don’t do all of this because I want something in return, I like doing all of this and you don’t need to do anything for me in return, you do enough with the song for the commercial and by being around me.”
“I…”
“Your presence by itself lightens up every aspect of my life.”
“Bianca…”
“I haven’t felt really happy in a while but seeing that blue haired girl drawing small butterflies and hearts on my coffee cups every morning brought me back my smile, seeing you and how hard you work is amazing, that’s enough, you give me back my happiness.”
“Bea…”
“I’m older than you, I know it’s crazy and I’m probably not the woman you think of when you think about happiness… But I… I…You know…”

This was something Adore didn’t think she would see, the tough and scary Bianca del Rio was struggling with words and Adore didn’t know how to react, she covered her mouth with her hand as she processed Bianca’s words.

Was she… Was she trying to say that…

“I know I was the one saying that we needed boundaries and that we could not start dating yet if that’s what you wanted but… I just… I feel really comfortable with you by my side and whenever you’re not around when you have classes or you have a lot of homework and can’t come one saturday it feels lonely, you already are an important part of my routine and that’s enough for me, you pay me back with that and that’s enough.”
“Bea…”
“I’m more than grateful with just seeing that pretty blue hair waving as I see you walking around, I won’t ask for anything else.”
“Bianca.” Adore placed her hands around the older woman’s face, she ran her finger around her lips as she thought Bianca had intended before. “You talk too much.”

Adore pressed their lips together, she heard Bianca gasp surprised but relaxed when she kissed her back, Adore pulled Bianca towards her and sat her on her lap, Bianca wrapped her arms around Adore’s neck and Adore grabbed Bianca’s face deepening the kiss, Bianca opened her mouth welcoming Adore’s tongue inside. Bianca felt shivers down her spine, she bit Adore’s lower lip and heard her let out a moan against her lips and Bianca swore she had never her something so angelical.

Bianca parted their lips and started kissing Adore on her neck, she left the rest of her lipstick smeared all over Adore’s neck and smiled as Adore caressed her hair as Bianca kept kissing her, she had arrived to Adore’s clavicles when she heard the younger woman call her name.
.
“Bea?”
“Yes, Blue?”
“Can we… Can we just kiss for now? I don’t... I don’t... I prefer to-”
“You just want to make out for now, no sex?”
“If you wanna have sex I can… We can have sex if you want to.”

Bianca went for Adore’s hand, she held her hand in front of her face and kissed the M on her index finger.

“Sex is not just me wanting to have it but you as well.” Bianca interlinked her fingers with hers and kissed every single one of them. “I’m sorry if you were taught otherwise.”
“Bea…”

Adore wanted to cry, she wanted to cry so bad for herself, for the teenager that had sex with her first boyfriend because he insisted that she would do it if she loved him, she wanted to cry for the girl that was found by Chris crying in her dressing room after her boyfriend made her do it 15 minutes before she went on stage, she wanted to cry for the many times she felt worthless if she wasn’t having sex with her mates

“It would be just kisses and going to your dad’s pity part for now, how does that sound?”
“It sounds perfect.”

Bianca kissed her forehead and her cheek, she helped her getting up from the chair and went with her to her bedroom, Bianca handed her an old Rent shirt, Adore jumped in excitement and put it on, she went under the covers and rested her head on Bianca’s lap. Bianca made her feel so secure and safe, she really liked this, she was grateful.

----

“... Bianca?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you awake?”
“No…”
“... You were amazing in Rent.”
“...”
“...”
“How did you see me in Rent? Weren’t you like seven in 1997?”
“Latrice got me a VHS copy of your performance.”
“...”
“...”
“Did you like it?”
“I loved it.”
“That’s all that matters.”

Chapter Text

“Don’t move.”
“I’m not moving!”
“I’m going to pinch you with the needle, don’t move!”

Adore chuckled and lift her arms as she stood in front of the mirror, Bianca had insisted on making a dress for her after she woke up and no one could change her mind, half an hour later Adore was standing in front of the mirror with a new dress while Bianca made the last adjustments.

“I love that you chose black for the dress.” Adore said while Bianca sewed the last stitches on the inside of the dress.
“It’s a color that you can combine with anything,” Bianca said. “I remember you have this denim jacket with the band patches, this dress will go perfectly with it.”
“... You’re right!”
“Today you should style it with the jacket and your combat boots or your converse.”
“What about make-up?”
“I don’t know about make-up that much.”
“Are you kidding? Your make-up is so dramatic and colorful every time!”
“It’s my clown make-up, I’m It.”
“You’re not It, Bianca.”
“I will eat children, all of the children I see today.” Bianca cut the thread and looked at Adore’s reflection. “So? What do you think?”

Adore twirled in front of the mirror, she smiled at her reflection and looked at Bianca, she grabbed her by her shoulders and gave her a quick kiss on her lips.

“I fucking love it.” She gave her another peck and looked back at her reflection. “I have to choose a look for you now.”
“What?”
“Yes! You chose my look for the party, I’ll choose yours!” Adore jumped to Bianca’s closet and started looking at her clothes. “I’ll make you look sexy.”

Adore grabbed one of the few pair of jeans Bianca owned and a long-sleeved black blouse, she took a black pair of heels and handed Bianca her big loop earrings.

“Put this on.” Bianca rolled her eyes but nodded, Adore sat on the bed and Bianca looked at her with curious eyes. “What?”
“Can I have my privacy while I change?”
“I’m not looking.”
“You’re looking.”
“I am not.” Adore undid her ponytail and covered her face with her hair. “You see? I can’t see shit no more.”

Bianca smiled and shook her face, she kissed the top of her head and took the clothes with her to the bathroom.

“Good try.”

Adore pouted as Bianca walked into the bathroom and locked the door, Adore laughed and started getting all of her stuff in her backpack as Bianca changed her clothes, she unplugged her phone and checked her messages, there wasn’t anything new but decided to text Katya.

The Door: yo, I’m passing by the house before I go to azusa, need something?
Kat: nah
The Door: you sure?
The Door: feeling good? need something to munch? maybe some soda or pizza?
Kat: if I eat anything ill throw up
Kat: I’m good, have fun in azusa and tell your mama I say hi

“This bitch.”
“Is something wrong?”

Adore sighed, she put her phone away and put on her shoes.

“Katya has been using drugs for a while now but is trying to stop for Trixie since she's a well behaved girl, Katya decided to stop using them for her but she’s having problems with it, she hasn’t been eating well because of the anxiety of going back to them again.”
“Do you want to check on her before we go?”
“Can we?”
“Sure.” Adore felt Bianca’s hands on her shoulders, she looked up and felt Bianca’s lips on her forehead. “I still have lasagna leftovers, let’s take some for her, some water and powerade as well, she needs to stay hydrated.”
“You know a lot about taking care of people.”
“It’s something about being the oldest sister and helping around with Bunny’s proteges while she was away.” Bianca said, she put the lasagna in a tupperware and passed it to Adore. “You always have to stay alert in case something happens to your little siblings.”
“My brothers are like that too.” Adore said. “They are always willing to fight any idiot that hurts me.”
“You’re the younger sibling?”
“I am.” Adore said. “From my mom and dad’s marriage, we have some half siblings but we don’t really get along.”

Bianca nodded, she put on the heels and looked at Adore.

“How do I look?”

Adore looked at her and felt her jaw drop, Bianca always looked amazing in jeans and this wasn’t the exception, Adore got up and wrapped her arms around her.

“Yo-you look incredible, you should wear more jeans, they suit you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I mean it.” Adore let a trail of kisses in Bianca’s cheek and dimples, Gosh, she wanted to kiss those dimples so bad and now she was able, God was so fucking good with her. “You look great.”

Bianca kissed her back and grabbed her bag

“I’m taking some jackets, medicine and whatever thing we may need in your mom's house.”
“Don’t worry about that, my mom is latina and will have Vicks Vaporub for everyone.”
“I hope so.” Bianca grabbed their stuff and her keys. “Let’s go to your house.”

----

Adore opened the door of her apartment and found all of the lights off except for the lights of the kitchen, Jinkx was there with a book and was cooking something that smelled like lavender in the stove.

“Oh, hey you daughters of the sunlight and moonlight, how are you?”
“... Fine.”
“You’re going to Azusa together, right?”
“Yes, how do you know?”
“My crystals told me in my morning reading.”
“...”
“And your mom called, she wants you there before two.”
“I know, that’s why we're leaving now.” Adore passed her the tupperware and grabbed a bottle of water, she took one of the powerades Bianca had bought and looked back at Jinkx. “Where’s Katya?”
“She is in her room, she is in a mood and doesn’t want to come out, I tried to give her something to eat but she doesn't want to.” Jinkx said. “I’m making some lavender and chamomile tea in hopes she would drink it but desintoxication is taking so much of her.”

Adore nodded, she walked over to Katya’s room and found the door locked.

“Katya? Yekaterina, it’s me, Adore.” She got no response. “I’m going to leave here a powerade and Bianca brought some lasagna from Latrice’s for you, make sure you drink at least something if you’re not feeling like eating, please.”

Bianca handed Adore her jacket and her combat boots, Adore kissed her cheek and knocked on the door again after putting them on.

“At least tell me something so I'm sure you’re alive."
“... Yes.”
“Oh thank God.”
“I’ll drink the powerade, leave it on the door."
“Do you need anything else?”
“I’m good.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Call me if you need anything.”

Adore didn’t get another word from Katya, she sighed as she finished getting ready in her room with Bianca doing her make-up on her bed, Bianca put her brush down and looked at her.

“Are you sure we should go?”
“Are you chickening out about seeing my family?”
“It’s not that.” Bianca said, she grabbed back her brush and looked in her mirror. “It’s just that I’m worried about your friend, we shouldn’t leave her alone.”
“Don’t worry about her, I’m here and I’ll take care of her.” Jinkx said as she grabbed a bodypin from Adore’s stuff. “I’ll get her to drink something and eat a little bit later, if anything happens I’ll call.”
“Promise?”
“Promise, Dorey.” Jinkx said and started to force the doorknob with the bodypin, she looked back at Adore and looked at her hair. “Your hair looks amazing! Shoutouts to Bianca for fixing that mess!”
“How do you know Bianca did my roots?”
“Persephone told me… Move over Yekaterina, you’re drinking this tea and the powerade whether you like it or not!”

And the door was closed again, Adore grabbed her stuff and fixed her hair in the mirror.

“Are we ready, Bea?”
“We are ready.”

----

“Now turn right in this street and… We’re here! I see my mom's truck there!”
“This is your house?”
“Yup, we have to stop by to leave our stuff here and then we can go to el infierno.” Adore said. “You can park in that parking lot next to my mom’s truck.”
“Your mom is home?”
“Yup, she wants to meet you, come on!”
"Your mom wants to meet me?" Bianca asked her as she looked nervous to the wheel, Adore shrugged and grabbed her stuff from the backseat.
"Of course I did, is there something wrong with that?" Adore had opened her door, she had her backpack and Bianca’s bag with her, Bianca shook her head and took a long breath.
“No, I’m ok.” She turned off her car and stepped out of it to meet Adore outside of her mom’s house. “I just get nervous around mothers, I don't have a good story with, you know, latina moms.”
“Babe.” Adore held her hands and kissed her fingers. “My mom is not a persinada, she is not gonna get mad or yell at you, she’s gonna love you.”
“Does she know you like girls?”
“She does, she doesn’t mind.” She started walking with Bianca’s hand on her own, she took her keys and opened the door for her without letting go of her hand. “Nothing bad will happen with my mom, trust me.”

Bianca nodded, she followed Adore inside and saw her put her keys away, Bianca gave a look around the house, she noticed Adore's mom had a very good taste when it came to decorating a house, soft green on the walls with gray furniture, plants decorating the upper part of the walls and pictures of her family all around the house as images of Catholic saints that she recognized from her parents home.
A cat walked towards them and rubbed it's small head on Adore's legs, Adore picked it up and blew a kiss on its cheek.

“Mami! I’m home!”

They heard someone running across the house and there she was, when Bianca thought of a latina mother she thought of her own mother; hair in a perfect bun, the pearls and earrings and the cold look that didn’t show a lot of emotion.

Adore’s mother was not like that at all.

Her hair was blonde in crazy locks, she was wearing a very specific style of make-up with tight clothes, and those nails, those nails were so long and red, they were chola nails, she was sure of that.

“Baby!”
“Mami!”

The two women enveloped each other in a tight hug as they screamed in the excitement of seeing each other, Adore’s mom held her face with her hands and kissed both of her cheeks multiple times, she looked at her hands and then at her clothes.

“I hadn’t seen this dress before, where did you get it?”
“Bianca made it for me.”
“Bianca?” She looked at her and then back at her daughter in realization. “Bianca! The Bianca you told me about? That Bianca?”
“Yup.”
“Hello, my name is Bianca del Rio.” Bianca offered the woman her hand but instead the woman hugged, she wrapped her arms around her and patted her back multiple times.
“My name is Bonnie, it’s so nice to meet you, Bianca.” She said and gave her another pat on her shoulder. “Look at you, you are as talented and pretty as my daughter claimed you to be on the phone.”
“Mom!”
“You talk about me with your mom?”
“You don’t have an idea of how much she talks about you.” Bonnie said as she grabbed their bags and gestured to them to follow her. “Mami, Bianca made a dress in less than five minutes. Mami, Bianca told me she liked my hair. Mami, did you know Bianca was an actress on Broadway? All she does is talk about you.”
“Jesus Christ, I’m so embarrassed.”

Bianca chuckled as she listened to Bonnie, she noticed she was as sassy as Bunny and they even were alike on the blonde hair and even on their names, that was a very weird coincidence that made her happy.

“This is Adore’s room, I’ll leave your stuff here.” Bonnie said and put their bags on Adore’s old bed. “I’ll go finish getting ready, we leave in 15 minutes.”
“Sure, mom.”

Bianca saw Bonnie leave, Adore got on the bed holding the cat looking away from Bianca, Bianca crawled on the bed and wrapped her arms around her, she put her face against Adore’s back and let out a sigh.

“What is it, Bea?”
“I was nervous to meet your mom.” Bianca admitted as she tightened her embrace. “I don’t do well with Latina moms…”

Adore turned around and hugged Bianca, the cat licked Bianca’s cheek and purr agaisnt them. Adore, wrapped her legs around her waist and her arms around her neck, she kissed her cheek and dimples until she arrived at her lips and kissed her.

“I wished your mom wasn’t so mean when you came out of the closet to her.” Adore said, she put Bianca’s hair to the side and kissed her temple. “My mom will never make you feel uncomfortable about you liking me, she will always treat you with love and kindness, you don’t have to put on the facade when you are around me and my mom, you know?”

Bianca hid her face on the curve of Adore’s neck and nodded, she took a long breath and looked back at Adore, she brushed their noses together and gave her a quick peck on her lips.

“I wished I had met you before.”
“I’m happy we ever met.” Adore kissed her again and held her against her body, they remained hugging each other for a couple minutes until they heard steps towards the room.
“Aright, girls, let’s get going now before Yetzira starts calling us to be there.” Bonnie said as she entered the room and gave a look to herself in Adore’s mirror. “Look at the two of ya, aren’t ya cute? Oh my God, I love you.”
“Mom!”
“Ay el amor!” She said as she gave herself another look in the mirror. “As much as I want you two to be enjoying you girls’ new love we have to go, I want to be there the littlest time and leave early.” She looked at them and smiled, she saw Bianca’s nervous look and patted her arm. “Don’t worry about anything, I will be there in case her dad starts acting like an idiot, let’s get on my truck.”

The two women saw Bonnie leave the room, Adore sighed as she got up and helped Bianca getting up from the bed..

“Is there anything I should know?”
“... We don’t have a very good relationship with my dad.” Adore explained. “He is always in a bad mood and tends to say stupid shit, I don’t like sticking around him that much because of that.” She turned around to face her and rested her head on Bianca’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for not telling you before.”
“You don’t have to give me explanations.” Bianca wrapped her arms around her and ran her fingers on Bianca’s high ponytail. “If anything gets weird, we go back to LA immediately, how does that sound?” Adore nodded, Bianca patted her back and pushed her back up, she fixed her jacket and squeezed her cheeks. “Be the bad bitch I know you are.”
“With you by my side I’m sure I can do it without a problem.”

----

Bianca pulled over in front of the address Adore’s mom had given her, she turned off the car and grabbed the gift back she had bought before they left for Azusa, she looked back at Adore who was biting off the black nail polish of her nails, Bianca grabbed her hand and Adore looked at her surprised.

“Sorry, did you say something?”
“I didn’t say a thing, Blue.” Bianca said. “You look scared.”
“I’m not scared.” Adore said, she looked outside of the window and took a long breath, she squeezed shut her eyes and sighed. “I’m nervous, I haven’t seen my dad since my first semester in college, I haven’t answered texts or calls, this is the first time we’ll have any type of interaction in a while.”
“What if I grab your hand all the way in? Will that help your nerves any how?”

Adore looked back at her and gave her a quick peck, she nodded and went out of the car, Bianca grabbed her hand and let Adore walked her inside the house, Bianca felt how shaky Adore’s hand was as they were in front of a wooden door that let to a yard where they could hear music blasting, Bianca squeezed Adore’s hand and whispered to her ear.

“We can leave if you don’t want to see him.”
“No.” Adore shook her head. “I can do it, come on.”

Adore opened the door and walked in with Bianca’s hand on hers.

“Hermana!”

A bald guy approached them and hugged Adore, he was wearing an oversized shirt and sunglasses in the back of his head, Bianca was a little bit scared but relaxed when Adore laughed and hugged the guy back.

“Frankie! How are you?”
“I’m good but I’m better now that I see you here! College makes you fancy and shit but you look good!”
“Thanks, Frankie.” Adore said and looked back at Bianca. “This is my girlfriend, Bianca.”

The guy was taken in surprise by Adore’s words, he gave Bianca a confused look.

Here we go, there the dyke comment goes.

“Cuñada!” The guy gave her a hug too, almost tackling her down, he patted her back a little too strong but firmly. “Mira nomás, you got a good one here, Dani. What’s your name again, cuñada?”
“My name is Bianca.” Bianca said a little confused, the guy nodded and patted her arm.
“Welcome Bianca to the Delano family, you can sit wherever you want and enjoy the part, want a beer?”
“Su-sure.”
“Corona is ok?”
“Yeah, Corona is ok.” Bianca saw the guy open two bottles of beer and handling them to them, Adore gave him the gift they had brought and grabbed back her hand. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, cuñada.”

Bianca followed Adore to a table under a tree, she sat next to her and saw Adore sigh.

“That was my brother Frankie, you already know Ernie but he hasn’t arrived yet, I’m happy we saw Frankie first, he can tell my dad we are here and prepare him for the shock.”
“What shock?”
“You’ll see.”

Bianca saw Frankie again, this time he was taking a beer with a girl that looked almost the same age as Adore to a guy in the table next to the house’s door, he whispered something to his ear, the man looked at Bianca and pointed at Adore with his finger, Bianca saw Frankie nod and the man shake his head as he opened a beer and drank it in one sip, Adore’s brother looked as the answer of the man hadn’t convinced him but nodded, he walked towards them with a plate of food for each of them and sighed, he and the girl sat in front of them and lit up a cigarette each.

“I told pa you’re here with your girlfriend but he doesn’t really want to see you right now.”
“It doesn’t surprise me.” Adore said, she rested one of her legs over Bianca’s lap and sighed, Bianca squeezed Adore’s leg and rubbed her knee. “But he wants me to sing, right?”
“You know the old man too well.”

Adore rolled her eyes, a habit she had picked up from Bianca whenever she was fed up with something, she nodded and grabbed another beer from her brother.

“I need some of those before I’m ready for that.”
“That’’s a yes?” The girl asked her, Adore rolled her eyes again.
“Sure, whatever.”
“Thank you, Dani.” The girl said. “I mean it.”
“...” Adore did not respond to the girl, the girl pressed her lips in a line and looked at Bianca. “I’m Dominique, her sister, its… Its nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you.” Adore gave an angry look to Dominique, Dominique saw her and cleared her throat. “I’ll go prepare your setup, see you in a bit.”

Bianca looked at Adore but Adore avoided her look, Bianca didn’t say a word and chatted for a bit with Adore’s brother, Adore just rested her head on her shoulder as they ate but didn’t say a word. Occasionally Bianca would look at the man she now knew was Adore’s dad, he didn’t look like a bad man but there was something off in the man, something Bianca could not point out what it was but knew it was there.
After an hour or so Dominique came back and handed Adore the microphone.

“Can you do us the honor of singing some songs for dad, Dani?”
“... Sure.”

Adore grabbed the microphone and walked towards the speakers, she connected her phone and looked through her tracks, Bianca approached her and took the phone from her.

“Your hands are shaking.”
“I’m ok.”
“I’ll help you with the music, which track first?”
“This one please.”
“Ok.” Bianca squeezed her hand and finished the settings of the speaker. “Whenever you’re ready, Dorey.”

Adore took a long breath and nodded to Bianca, she pressed play on the song Adore had told her to, she sat back and looked mesmerized at Adore, if there was something she liked was to listen to her sing, Adore seemed to not notice but she hummed a lot when she was in the studio working on her music, Adore was always around her for the last semester and Bianca didn’t mind because she lit up the place with her presence.

Adore was done with the music for the commercial and had given it to Courtney so she could work with it, she didn’t need to be around that much but she stayed there, Adore would kept working on her music with headphones to not disturb Bianca but she would still hum and sing without noticing and Bianca loved every second of it, the way Adore raised an eyebrow when Bianca introduced her to Miki Matsubara’s music and how she had caught her singing in japanese inside her office, they way she would move her feet to the rhythm of whatever song Bianca had on the radio and how she would sing along to the Rent recording Bunny had sent over.

Bianca just loved listening to her voice, Adore was a performer and Bianca was her audience, Adore turned around and winked at her, Bianca smiled and winked back at her, it was just perfect.

----

“Thank you, guys!” Adore said as her family clapped for her, Bianca clapped along and smiled at Adore, Adore asked her for her phone and looked through the songs. “Ok familia, this is my last song of the night but before I sing it I want all the couples here in the front to dance it, it’s a love song for… Our significant others, so come on here.”

Adore played the song and Bianca recognized the accords, Adore started singing as the couples started to dance around the patio.

Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you?

Bianca saw Adore’s dad grabbed the hand of the woman that had been sitting with him all afternoon long, Bianca understood that she was Adore’s stepmother, Dominique’s mom, the woman Bonnie had called Yetzira before they left the house.

Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be

Adore looked at Bianca and offered her her hand.

Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you

Bianca smiled and took her hand, Bianca spun around Adore and stopped in front of her, both of them were giggling as stupid teenagers, Bianca smiled and placed her hands around Adore’s neck as Adore put her free hand on her waist.

Like a river flows
Surely to the sea
Darling, so it goes
Some things are meant to be

Adore rested her head on Bianca’s shoulder as they danced around, her breath felt hot against Bianca’s skin and chills were sent all over her body, Adore gave her a quick kiss before continuing the song.

Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I can't help falling in love with you For I can't help falling in love with you

Bianca smiled, Adore looked back at her as she sang the last line, Bianca caressed Adore’s cheek and gave her a quick peck on her lips.

“The feeling is mutual, Adore.”

Adore smiled with tears on her eyes and wrapped her arms around her, if it wasn’t for the cheering of Adore’s family they would have stayed like that for hours, Adore was the one to break the embrace and put the microphone away.

“Thank you, guys!”

They went back to their table and were received by a happy Bonnie, she wrapped her arms around the two of them and kissed their cheeks.

“Par de tortolas, cabronas.”

Adore brushed her head on Bianca’s hair and laughed, she was really happy and Bianca was happy to see her like this, the party went along and Bianca met a lot of the people of Adore’s family, it was hard to keep up with the many names and the wishes of a happy relationship with Adore but tried her best but there was something she had noticed and it was that the family was divided, there was a part of the family that was having a good time drinking and dancing and there was another part of the family that just kept sitting down and talking on their places.

It was weird.

“Hermana!”
“Ernie!” Adore got up from Bianca’s lap. “You’re late, idiot!”

Bianca looked up from her food and saw the guy from the other day, he was accompanied by the lady she had sold the dresses and the little boy Adore had been with at the park.

“Al fin vienes a casa, hija de la chingada!”
“Es la misma, pendejo.” Adore said as she hugged her sister in law and carried the little boy on her arms. “Do you remember Bianca?”
“We do!” Salina said and gave her a quick hug, she was wearing one of the dresses Bianca had sold her, it suit her very nicely. “I hope you’re enjoying the party.”
“It’s been nice, thank you.”
“You two...”
“What is it, little boy?” Bianca asked Adore's nephew, he was chuckling against his little hand. “My dad owes me five dollars.”
“What? For what?” Adore asked him, he smiled and talked with a very loud voice.
“Because I bet you two were girlfriends!”

Bianca saw Adore’s brother shushing the little boy and Salina covering his mouth, Adore’s face was red and looked like a tomato, Bianca didn’t understand their reaction, wasn’t her family aware of their relationship? They had just kissed in front of everyone. Why were they shutting the little boy down? She turned around and understood why they reacted the way they did, Adore’s dad looked mad, he looked really mad.

“Shit.”

He got up from his chair with a beer on his hand and walked towards them, Bianca immediately stood in front of Adore at the sigh of the angry man.

“Move.”
“No.”
“I want to speak to my daughter.”
“Then speak.”
“Alone.”
“If you want to speak with me, Bianca stays.” Adore said and grabbed Bianca’s hand, Bonnie and her brothers gave her a worried look, Adore nodded, they moved and let her father stand in front of them. “Can we go inside? I don’t want the family to listen to your bullshit, papi.”

The man gave her an annoyed look but nodded, he walked back inside with the help of his wife, Bonnie looked at Adore with a worried look on her eyes.

“Are you sure of this?”
“I am sure.”
“I’ll be there for her, Bonnie, you don’t have to worry about anything.” Bianca said reassuring the woman. “If anything happens I’ll call for help.”

Bonnie and the boys shared a worried look but nodded, Bianca and Adore walked inside the house, her father was sitting with his back towards her, Bianca saw the man pour a cheap liquor from a plastic bottle in a tall glass and drink it all in one shot, he then drank directly from the bottle and gave them a nasty look.

“Blue, he’s not on his five senses, it won’t be helpful to talk with him now.”
“He’s never on his five senses, it won’t be the first time.” Adore said, she walked towards him but still away from the man, they heard him inhale and growl. “What do you want, old man?”
“Why are you here, Danielle?”
“Your daughter asked me to come, it’s not like I wanted to come but you looked happy when you heard me sing.”
“And who is the woman next to you, Danielle?”

Bianca squeezed Adore’s arm, Adore nodded.

“She is my girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend, eh?”
“I thought I had made it clear when we kissed back there, you know?”
“But who is she, Danielle?”
“Her name is Bianca, she is an actress and an amazing designer, she works for a lot of artists, actors and has played a lot of amazing roles in theater.”
“An actress and a tejedora, pinches mamadas Danielle, “I thought you were done with the lesbian bullshit after breaking up wit the spaggetti girl.”
“I told you to not call Tatianna that.”
“And now you’re dating the tejedora… That’s mere bullshit, Danielle.”

Bianca held Adore back and headed towards the door.

“This is enough, we’re leaving.”
“Come back here-”

He didn’t get to finish what he was saying, both women saw the man fall to his knees and the plastic bottle fall with him to the ground spilling all of the cheap liquor on the carpet.

“Fuck! You saw what you made me do? Are you happy now, Danielle!?”

Adore let go of Bianca’s arms, she walked towards her father with Bianca behind her, she kneeled in front of him and started talking.

“Don’t ever talk to me again.”
“Danielle-”
“You cheated on my mom, spent the money she had saved to help me with college on alcohol and drugs, then slapped me in the face when you discovered I liked girls, you called me a tortillera and made a mess with the money I gave you to help you with your bills, you went back to drugs and blamed it all on me.” Adore was talking in such a sharpened voice that could cut anything, it wasn’t anything as the way Adore talked to Bianca, Bianca couldn't do anything but to look perplexed at the younger woman as she talked. “Your daughter wanted me to see you again and I don’t know why I agreed... Let me tell you something I learnt not long ago.” Adore said, Bianca looked from the back as Adore kept talking to the man on the floor. “I don’t need you around to become a successful person, I can be my own person and be a badass woman without your help, I don’t need you anymore.” Adore got up with tears on her eyes, Bianca put her hand around Adore’s arm, Adore let out a shaky breath but put herself together again. “Enjoy your party, I’m leaving.”

Adore walked a few steps towards the door, Bianca was the first one to step outside offering her hand to Adore, Adore looked back at her dad and felt bad at the remains of the man she had loved so much in the past, the man that would take her to eat ice-cream every time she felt sad, the man that recorded her first presentation as The Idol, the man that had taught Krystian a lesson, he wasn’t that man anymore.

She walked back inside and kneeled in front of him again.

“What do you want, Danielle? Are you going to make fun of your old man one last time before you leave with that woman?”
“...” She shook her head and helped Yetzira to get him on the couch, Adore grabbed a tissue from her jacket and cleaned his nose, they shared a look for a few seconds before Adore went back to Bianca, she took her hand and gave a last look to her dad. “I do hope you can get better, papi.”
“Danielle…”
“Don’t call me that... Bye.”

----

The trip back home was quiet, Adore had been silently crying looking at the window and after a while she had fallen asleep, Bianca understood her, after such a rollercoaster of emotions you just needed to rest and that’s what Adore needed. Bianca parked in front of Adore’s apartment and waited for her to wake up, Adore wiped her nose and looked at her surroundings a little bit surprised, she looked back at Bianca with an embarrassed look.

“Sorry, I fell asleep.”
“You needed to rest, don’t apologize for it.”

Adore nodded, she looked down to her feet as she played with the seam of her dress, Bianca didn’t say a word, she kept her hands on the wheel until she heard Adore talk.

“I’m sorry for what happened with my dad.” Adore said. “I wanted it to be a special day for you, I wanted you to feel it at home with my family but my dad ruined everything, I’m so embarrassed, I’m sorry.”
“Hey, look at me.” Bianca grabbed Adore’s hands and kissed her fingers, she ran her fingers on Adore’s face and felt how the younger girl relaxed under her touch. “That’s not your fault, we don’t get to choose our parents, it’s not your fault.”
“He’s still my dad.” Adore said, she sniffed and looked down to their intertwined fingers. “I just… Ugh, I don’t know. I thought it was enough but… It’s difficult.”
“Just because he is your dad doesn’t mean you have to bear with his bullshit.”
“...”
“You said back there, you can be a badass woman without him, you already are a badass woman without him.” Bianca squeezed her cheek. “Don’t feel bad for wanting to end that cycle.”

Adore nodded, she leaned against Bianca’s hand and kissed her fingers.

“And besides.” Bianca said. “I really loved how you sang to me.”
“You did?”
“Elvis is a classic, this old woman was super happy to see such a young lady knew the words to him.”
“I may be dumb.” Adore said. “But I know my references.”
“You are not dumb.”
“I am.”
“You’re not.” Bianca kissed her hands and caressed her cheeks. “You’re way smarter than you think, I have never seen someone harmonize with themselves until I saw you do it in my office the other, quite impressive Dorey.”

Adore smiled, she put her hands on Biancas cheek placing her fingers on her dimples and kissed her, Bianca smiled against her lips and kissed her back, Adore laughed and looked at their hands.

“What would Soleil say if I ever told her how sweet and kind you are to me?”
“Never tell that bitch.” Bianca said as she grabbed their bags from the back. “I have a reputation back in New York, that bitch would ruin it.”
“Pussy.”
“I do like pussy, thanks for pointing out, you’re very smart.”

They climbed the stairs together, Bianca left their bags on the couch and saw Adore take off her boots quickly and head towards her friends’ room, she opened the door carefully and saw Katya laying down on her bed, Jinkx was by her side reading a book, she looked surprised at them as they entered the room.

“Weren’t you two going to spend the night with Bonnie?”
“Things got bad with my dad.” Adore explained as she checked Katya’s temperature. “We came back before everything got worse, you know how he gets.”
“I know…” Jinkx yawned and went back to her reading, Adore yawned as well and put a cold sock on Katya’s forehead to help her with the fever.
“Bea.” Adore whispered to her girlfriend who was peeking through the door. “Can you bring me another powerade and a straw, please?” Bianca nodded and disappeared to the kitchen, Adore checked her temperature, Katya had a fever. “Has she been like this all day?”
“It comes and it goes.” Jinkx said with a tired voice. “I understand that she wants to do this for Trixie, shouldn’t she be here?”
“Trix had to go back to Wisconsin for a couple weeks.” Adore explained her what Katya had told her a few days ago. “It seems her mom is finally divorcing Trixie’s stepdad and things got a little bit intense, the professors let Trixie take all of the exams early and she left.”
“Shit… That’s harsh.”
“And now Kat wants to get sober for her when she comes back but... Shit.” Adore said as she checked Katya’s clothes. “We can talk about that later, help me change her clothes, she’s soaking wet in sweat.”

When Bianca came back she was welcomed by a side she hadn’t seen on Adore yet, she had been crying in her car not even 15 minutes ago but now she was the most put together person as she helped the blonde out.

“You came back because of me, Door.” Bianca heard the blonde say with a raspy voice. “I’m sorry...”
“The party was lame, I can’t accept a lame party as the party idol myself.”
“I wanna go party, Door...”
“First focus on getting hydrated.” Bianca shook her head and handed Adore the powerade with the straw, she helped the redhead to get Katya seated as Adore helped her to drink with the straw. “You’re gonna be ok, bitch.”

Bianca convinced the redhead to get some sleep, the redhead gave her a thankful look as she disappeared on her room, Adore held Katya’s hair as she threw up in her trashcan, Bianca went to their kitchen to grab their cleaning supplies and trashbags, she came back to a scene of the blonde apologizing to Adore as she cleaned her mouth, Adore only shook her head and threw the dirty toilet paper to the trash.

“Bea, can you help me with this?”
“Yes.”

Bianca did the cleaning as Adore kept an eye on Katya, after an hour Adore could barely stay awake, Bianca shook her shoulders and pulled her up from Katya’s bed.

“Go to sleep, Dorey.”
“I can’t…”
“Yes, you can.”
“I’m keeping an eye on Kat, Bea.”
“I’ll keep an eye on her for you.”
“You drove all the way from Azusa, you need to rest, Bea.” Adore said with her tired voice, Bianca kissed her forehead and pinched her cheek.
“I’m a newyorker, from the city that never sleeps, I’ll be fine.”
“Hmm... “ Adore looked at her with disapproval. “No.”
“Ok… What if you go to sleep for two hours and then it will be my turn to sleep and your turn to take care of goldy looks back there?”
“I heard you, smurf!”
“So? What you think?” Bianca asked Adore ignoring Katya, Adore ran her hand on the back of her neck as she looked at the ceiling, she sighed but nodded.
“Ok, only two hours, got it?”
“Got it.” Bianca gave her a quick peck on her lips, Adore smiled and kissed her back. “See you in two hours.”
“See you.”
Bianca yawned, she went quickly to the livingroom for her sketchbook and pencils, she went back to the room and sat on Katya’s desk as she look for the last design she had been working on.

“I’m sorry you have to be keeping an eye on me instead of being under Adore’s skirt, Bianca.” She heard the blonde say, Bianca shook her head and took her favorite pencil.
“It’s ok, I’ve helped people with this back in the day, I don’t have a problem helping you out.” Bianca held Katya’s hand. “You are so young to fuck your life with this shit, I’m happy to know you’re going clean, whatever your reasons are.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“... Thank you, Bianca, I really needed to hear that.”
“I’m not a cold bitch at all times, just don’t tell anyone that.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” Katya chuckled and pointed at the Powerade. “Can I have a sip?”
“Sure.”
“Give it to me, I can do it on my own.”
“Serve yourself, kid.” Bianca held the bottle for her, Katya took a long sip and sighed. “Do you need anything else?”
“I’m ok, I’ll try to get some sleep, you should try it as well.”
“Go to sleep, don’t worry about me.”

Bianca waited until the blonde had fallen asleep, she put the trashcan next to her and went back to her sketchbook, she gave a look to the design and smiled at the design’s name she had written on the right side.

For Adore’s big day.

Chapter Text

Adore yawned as she reached for her phone on her nightstand, she looked at the hour and cursed as she got up from her bed and put on her sandals-

9 AM

“Fuck, fuck, Bianca didn’t wake me up.” She ran out of her room and found Katya’s door open, both Katya and Bianca were asleep on Katya’s bed, Katya had her head over Bianca’s shoulder, Adore noticed the dark eye bags under Bianca’s eyes as she got close to them. “Jesus Christ, Bianca you were up all night, weren’t you?”
“Good morning, sweet child of the moon.” Jinkx greeted her as she entered the room with Katya’s trash can in her left hand and a Powerade on her right. “How did you sleep?”
“I slept more than I should.” Adore said. “Bianca was supposed to wake me up after two hours.” Adore walked towards her and pointed at Katya for Jinkx to hold her head, Adore placed her arms under Bianca’s knees and around her shoulders to lift her from Katya’s bed. “I’ll take her to my room, I’ll help you clean later.”
“Don’t worry about it, baby,” Jinkx said. “You also had a really bad day yesterday, you need to rest too.”
“...”