Chapter Text
<She has not said one thing that couldn’t have just been sent in an email>
<Well obviously she needed to get us in here to show off her My Little Pony hair>
Rey looked up from sneakily reading her phone, trying not to laugh. From across the room, she made eye contact with her friend Kaydel before quickly averting her eyes before their boss Amilyn could tell that they were texting each other.
She wouldn’t put it above Amilyn to take her phone and read her texts out loud, like a sixth grade teacher reading notes to the class.
And this time it wasn’t detention at stake. It was unemployment.
Although she had been at resistance.com for three years, she still couldn’t believe how lucky she was to have her position as a staff writer. Maybe she wasn’t using her hard-earned journalism degree to expose corporate malfeasance or political scandals, but the large array of mindless topics from pop culture to Disney listicles that Resistance offered meant that the website got plenty of clicks. Sometimes she couldn’t believe she got paid to write about garbage she would be talking about with her friends anyway.
And garbage she wrote. Any given recap of The Bachelor that she posted generated way more web traffic than her thoroughly researched long-form article on gender pay gaps in Hollywood ever did, which was a depressing fact but one that kept her churning out harmless drivel.
Amilyn was consistently pleased with the ad revenue Rey’s articles brought in, and Rey didn’t want to upset her boss in this useless staff meeting. But it was still painful to be sitting on like ten different fictional characters that her newly pink-haired boss reminded her of and not be able to share them with Kaydel.
Later.
For now, she refocused her attention on Amilyn’s words instead of her hair and tried to listen as she droned on about potential corporate tie-ins.
This topic prompted Poe Dameron, their political correspondent (for the more refined Resistance reader) to argue with Amilyn about the potential harm of tricking their readers into reading advertising material veiled as impartial articles. Rey took the moment to share a significant glance with Kaydel. Any time Poe and Amilyn got into it, the staff was stuck in there for at least another half hour.
Most of the writers telecommuted, and Rey had gotten used to being at home with her fridge handy.
She was wondering how loud it would be if she opened the wrapper of the granola bar she had in her purse when Amilyn abruptly changed the subject.
“K, team, we have been given exclusive interview rights with Kylo Ren. Has anyone heard of him?”
Rey sat straight up, granola bar forgotten. (For now.)
“The YouTube guy?”
Everyone looked at Rey after her excited outburst. Amilyn flipped to a slide on her powerpoint showing Kylo Ren dressed up in his silly costume, a bright blue Oxford shirt, orange suspenders and bowtie, giant orange glasses, and a hideous orange hat. A few people snickered.
Rey shrank into her seat a little.
“He’s like my nephew’s hero,” she added defensively. “He’s four. We watch Kylo Ren when I babysit.”
“You’re not the only ones,” said Amilyn, drawing the room’s attention back to herself. “He’s got millions of subscribers, and his videos have billions of views.”
“And he has merchandise, and music albums,” added Rey, feeling suddenly shameless in her Kylo Ren knowledge. “Jayden and I listen to his stuff on Spotify all the time in my car. I have his fire truck song in my head constantly.”
“Sorry, who is this?” asked one of the writers.
“He has a YouTube channel for young children,” explained Rey. “He’s kind of like a hyperactive Mr. Rogers. He teaches kids about all kinds of things in his videos, goes to the grocery store, on airplane rides, that sort of thing. It’s annoying but my nephew eats it up.”
Amilyn nodded at her, smiling. “We know that a decent portion of our readership are young moms. An article about the man behind the character might be pretty big. The good news for us is he lives here in Chandrila.”
“Obviously Rey should do the article,” piped in Kaydel. “Unless there are any other Kylo Ren stans in here?” She looked around the room and everyone chuckled.
“All right Rey,” said Holdo. “See me after so I can get you in touch with his team.”
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“Aunt Rey! Aunt Rey!”
Jayden yanked open the front door to let her in and Rey scooped him up, giving him a kiss on his cheek before setting him back down.
“How was school today, buddy?”
“Good!”
“What did you learn about?”
“Ladybugs!”
“Ladybugs?”
“Yeah!”
Rey walked Jayden to the kitchen as he jabbered on about his preschool lesson. Finn, Rey’s best friend and former foster brother, was bent over the stove, stirring something.
“Hey, Rey!” he called out without looking up.
“Hey! What are you making? It smells great!”
“It’s just spaghetti. You’re so easy to please.”
She laughed and sat down, where Finn’s new girlfriend Rose was setting the table.
“Hey Rey,” she said, smiling at her.
“Hey.”
Jayden thrust a picture of a ladybug in her face. Rey was more than happy with the interruption.
“That’s awesome, buddy,” she said, holding one half of it. “Did you paint this?”
“With my fingers!”
“With your fingers?!” Rey loved responding to Jayden’s sweet enthusiasm.
“Can I see it?”
Rey and Jayden both looked at Rose, who was smiling nervously. Rey’s fingers tightened on the picture.
“I’m showing Rey,” said Jayden petulantly.
“Jayden, show Rose your picture,” said Finn, walking closer to the table. “She wants to see it too!”
Rey plucked the picture from Jayden’s fingers and wordlessly handed it over to Rose. She oohed and ahhed, and Finn returned to the cooking, satisfied.
Once they were finishing their dinner, Rose turned to an extremely messy Jayden.
“Hey Jayden, guess what?”
He looked up at her as he slurped a noodle sloppily.
“Your daddy has to work tomorrow, and I’m going to take you to the zoo! Just you and me! Won’t that be fun?”
Jayden’s eyes lit up and he looked up at his dad, who nodded encouragingly. Jayden turned to Rey.
“Guess what?” he told her like she wasn’t sitting two feet away. “I’m going to the zoo with Rose!”
Rey did her best to look excited, but the sound of him saying “Rose” the same way he said “Rey,” with a w sound instead of an r kept reverberating in her ears. Jayden and Rose talked about their trip and the different animals that they would see.
Rose promised to get him a snow cone, making him practically bounce out of his chair with excitement.
“Hey Jayden, do you want to meet Kylo Ren?”
The overly loud words flew from Rey’s mouth. Jayden stopped bouncing and looked directly at Rey, eyes wide.
“Kylo Wen?”
“Yep! Aunt Rey knows Kylo Ren, and I’m going to go see him and you get to come too.”
“Daddy! Daddy! I get to meet Kylo Ren!”
“Yeah, I heard that.” Finn didn’t even bother to sound excited. Rose stood and cleared her dishes, claiming she had to get going to make her bartending shift on time. After shooting Rey a look that could kill, Finn jumped up to help Rose and see her to her car. While he was out, Rey took Jayden to the sink and cleaned his hands and face. She was washing his Lightning McQueen placemat and bowl when Finn walked back in and addressed his son.
“Hey buddy, why don’t you play a game in your room?”
“On Daddy’s phone?”
“Yep, on Daddy’s phone.”
Jayden happily scurried off, triumphantly holding the ultimate Holy Grail, and slammed the door to his bedroom shut. The only sound in the kitchen for a long moment was the running water.
“Rey, what was that at dinner?”
Rey shut off the water, turned around, and wiped her hands on a rag.
“I got a big assignment at work,” she said brightly. “I’m doing a story on Kylo Ren. I get to interview him at his house. I thought Jayden would love meeting him!”
“That’s really cool and all, but we both know I’m not talking about what you said. We’re talking about when you said it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I thought of it, and wanted to tell him…”
“It didn’t have anything to do with him being excited to spend time with Rose, did it?” Finn cut her off harshly.
Rey didn’t answer, and Finn sank into a chair.
“Rey…” His tone was weary.
She cautiously took a seat across from him. After a long, painful moment, he looked up at her.
“We both know how much Jayden and I owe you. If it weren’t for you, I’d probably still be strung out on some street corner, and Jayden would be off in foster care, facing the kinds of places we did.” He shuddered. “But I was lucky enough to have a sister who managed to beat the odds and make something of herself, even when I was another pathetic statistic. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”
Rey opened her mouth, but he held up a hand.
“Please let me talk,” he said. “The way you took on baby Jayden, when I could barely hold it together. You, a college student, trying to finish out your scholarship, shouldering all that responsibility, helping me get clean… We were so lucky to have you. We are so lucky to have you.
But I’ve been clean for four years, Rey. I have a job, an apartment, everything you wanted for me all along. Before Rose, I hadn’t put myself out there since…back then. But I’m ready for that now. And when I date, or even, I don’t know, get married, to Rose or whoever else, that woman is going to be Jayden’s mom.”
Rey cringed involuntarily. He scowled at her.
“What do you want from me? Do you want me to celibate forever? Or end up with someone who’s not going to connect with Jayden? Do you want him to have an evil stepmother?”
Rey looked at the table.
“You will always be his special Aunt Rey. Jayden adores you. But Rose is trying. And she’s trying with you, too. And if you want to stay in our lives, you need to let her. It’s hard enough dating with a son. I don’t need an unsupportive sister, too.”
Rey couldn’t remember a time Finn had spoken to her like that. As much as his words hurt, she had to admire him a little.
“All right.”
“All right?” Finn narrowed his eyes at her.
“Yes, I’m sorry. I’ll be nicer to Rose.”
“You’d really like her, you know. But of course you intimidate the hell out of her.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, how would you like it if your boyfriend had such an involved best friend?”
Rey laughed humorlessly. “Oh, right, my boyfriend. That boyfriend who definitely exists.”
“Hey, when you find him, you’ll be happy I’m not single. Whoever he is might not be so keen on you hanging out with me if I were single.”
“You’re my brother.”
“We’re clearly not biologically related, Rey.”
“What? I think the resemblance is staggering.”
The two were laughing when they were interrupted by a tiny voice.
“Aunt Rey?”
Both Finn and Rey’s heads whipped to the hallway, where Jayden had his head poked out of his room. He held out Finn’s phone, which was displaying a Kylo Ren video about colors.
“When do I get to meet Kylo Ren?”
“Next week, bud.”
“How long is that?”
“Umm…” Rey thought for a minute. “Seven sleeps.”
“Okay!” Jayden ran back into his room.
“How did he get on to a YouTube video?” Rey asked.
“It’s scary how well he can use my phone.”
“Better be careful. Don’t want him to Momo’d.”
“Didn’t you write a whole article about how Momo was a hoax?”
“Yes, but there’s still messed up stuff out there.”
“You’re right, but he only watches Kylo videos, and they’re harmless. You know, if you’re so concerned about it, you can be the one who goes in and takes it from him and starts his bedtime.”
Rey rolled her eyes. “Well played,” she said.
Later, once Jayden had finally fallen asleep after three bedtime stories, Rey and Finn relaxed on his couch, Rey not keen to return to her empty apartment. They were both mindlessly scrolling through their phones when Finn spoke up.
“What do you think Kylo Ren is like in real life?”
“I guess I’ll find out soon enough. Here—” She gestured at his phone. “Help me Google him. I need to start gathering stuff to prepare my interview. See what’s out there already.”
After a minute, Finn scoffed. “Listen to this. Here are the Google auto-fill suggestions for Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren real name, Kylo Ren hot, Kylo Ren net worth, Kylo Ren fire truck.”
“His name is Ben Solo,” said Rey, remembering what Amilyn had told her earlier. “But click on net worth.”
“I clicked on ‘hot.’”
“Oh my gosh, you are such a weirdo.”
“What?” asked Finn, affronted. “You aren’t curious?”
Rey shook her head, and typed “Kylo Ren” into her own browser.
“Wow,” said Finn. “There’s a lot of thirsty moms out there. Listen to this Reddit thread – ‘Is it just me or do you find Kylo Ren seriously sexy?’”
Rey laughed and couldn’t resist adding “hot” to her own search. “Here’s one, Finn. It’s a twitter thread all about his biceps.”
“Listen, this lady comments, ‘I just want to take him to the back of that play area and…’ Oh my gosh.” Finn’s face was utterly horrified.
“I hope I can get him to pose in regular clothes. Looks like a lot of women are clamoring to see what he looks without the hat and glasses. Nothing’s even popping up when I Google Ben Solo. He’s always in costume.”
“I think these women want to see him without the hat, glasses, and his clothes. What’s with these people? Are they not getting any from their husbands?”
“I guess when you’re stuck watching kids shows all day it’s nice to have some eye candy,” defended Rey. “And I’ve never given it a lot of thought before, but now that I’m thinking on it, he does have a nice body.”
“Gross, Rey. Hey!” Finn sat up. “Do you suppose Kylo Ren has sex?”
“Ew! What is wrong with you, you perv?”
“What?” Finn shrugged.
“I don’t know, I guess so. I mean he’s an adult.” She squinted her eyes mischievously. “Should I ask?”
“For all we know, he’s dating someone or is married.” Finn shook his head. “Poor whoever-they-are.”
“Why? He’s loaded.”
“Yeah, but imagine being around alllll that energy allll the time.”
“True.”
“I just can’t picture him having sex.”
“Then don’t!”
“Sexy biceps aside, wouldn’t you always be worried that he’d randomly, just…” Finn switched to an annoying high-pitched voice. “And here kids is the vagina.” He made the sound effect that it played whenever Kylo introduced a new word or concept.
“Ahhh, stop, stop!” cried Rey, laughing as she covered her ears.
“That’s V-A-G-I…”
“Stop!” Rey threw a pillow at him. “Now that’s all I’m going to be able to think about when I interview him!”
“You’re welcome,” said Finn, smirking. “So next Saturday, huh? And they said it’s okay to bring a kid to your interview?”
Truthfully, Rey hadn’t passed it by anyone at work or on Kylo’s team. She had just blurted it out to Jayden at the dinner table without thinking first.
“I’ll take care of it,” she told Finn with fake confidence. She’d figure it out and hope that Amilyn just never heard about what might be a little unprofessional.
----------
In the end, it turned out okay. Rey called Kylo’s manager, who assured her that Kylo would be happy to meet her nephew. So after a long week of researching everything she could about Kylo Ren, Youtube, SEO, and, everything else she could possibly think of, she, Finn, and Jayden packed in her car and drove towards Kylo’s – no Ben’s – home.
His house was nestled by trees at the end of a cul de sac of an upscale neighborhood, set pretty far apart from the other homes. They pulled into a long, curvy driveway. Finn got Jayden out of his car seat and promised to play in the yard until Rey was ready for them.
“Good luck with Captain Crazy,” said Finn as he chased after Jayden, who had taken off like a rocket once he was released from his shackles.
“I could say the same to you!” she called back.
She straightened her clothes and approached the door. While she waited, she shuffled her notes, feeling extra jittery. She had been sure to have extra coffee that morning, certain that she would need all the artificial energy she could muster to deal with a man who could act like the fact that strawberries were red was the most exciting thing on Earth.
She was greeted at the door by a stately blond woman, maybe the tallest she had ever met.
“Hi Ms. Niima,” said the woman, extending her hand warmly. “I’m Phasma, Kylo’s media manager. We spoke on the phone.”
“It’s good to meet you,” answered Rey. She followed Phasma into the cavernous entryway.
She wasn’t sure what type of décor she had been expecting from a man who wore bright orange glasses and sneakers, but the understated earthy tones of his home were not it.
It looked like everything had been done by an interior designer, and as Rey considered all of the things she had learned over the week about his estimated revenue earnings, she guessed it probably had been.
Phasma led her to a living room and indicated for Rey to have a seat while she grabbed Kylo. Rey sank into one of the comfiest leather couches she had ever sat in and got situated as she waited.
After a moment, there was a little cough.
“Ms. Niima?”
Rey snapped her head up to take in her first look at Kylo Ren in the flesh. Only, this wasn’t Kylo Ren in front of her.
It was in the sense that he had the same black hair that she had seen peeking out from his hat. But now seeing it flowing unencumbered made Rey realize what a crime it was that he ever covered it up at all.
He had those same thick arms, but now they were free to be properly ogled in a short sleeve black tshirt.
He had the same face, although now it wasn’t half covered by oversized orange glasses, allowing her to fully take in his unusual features.
But the biggest difference between Kylo Ren and the man standing before her wasn’t in appearance or dress, she realized.
It was in his stance.
Instead of eagerly staring straight at her like he would the camera, he was looking at the floor. She approached him to shake his hand, and he engulfed it his much larger one and barely nodded.
“Should we, um, sit?” he asked, rubbing his neck with one hand and awkwardly indicating the couch with the other.
He managed to catch her eyes for one split second before looking down again, giving her just enough time to take in their molten chocolate color.
At that moment, Rey realized two things.
One: This interview was going to go wildly differently than she had predicted.
Two: Those thirsty moms on the Internet just may have been onto something.