Chapter Text
Bringing a delicate and fine teacup to his lips, he blew gently and watched the steam disperse into crisp early morning air. Despite the tranquility of the quaint café located on Paris’s main street, the street itself was bustling with murmering business people and sleep deprived tourists. He watched the crowd with interest and a playful smile as he took a sip of his fruity tea.
Weaving through the crowd with little grace, his morning date made his arrival known loudly. “Hey Johann!” Dante called as he strode up to the man’s table, “what’s so important that you called me out at this hour right when we just got back from a major mission?”
“Hm, I just wanted to see your cute cranky morning face, is that so wrong?” Johann smiled sweetly and took another sip of his tea as he swung his legs under his chair. Dante bristled for half a second before sighing wearily and running a hand through his short hair. Johann giggled.
“Ha ha very funny. Now tell me what you really called me here for or I’m leaving.” Dante threatened as he plopped himself down on the seat across from Johann’s table.
Johann’s smiling eyes opened a fraction as he hummed in thought. “Well, Dante, I thought we should discuss what we observed back in Gévaudan regarding your favourite, well-paying, client. I’m sure you noticed.”
Dante’s eyes widened a fraction and Johann’s smile shifted into something akin to a smirk. Shifting his eyes to the floor, Dante shrugged. “I mean, it was pretty obvious to anyone who’s known the guy for more than a week to tell that he was acting strange. And knowing what I know about him, and seeing what I’ve seen, it was so obvious that it was laughable. Vanitas is a good liar, trust me, I know that, but he can’t fool me about this.”
“And,” Johann’s smile dropped and his eyes carried a plotting storm, “what exactly is it that you do know?”
“I’ve been his informant for years, ya know.” Dante said almost wearily. “At the end of the day, the guy is just a fragile human, so it’s not that rare that he picks up a sturdier partner.” Waving his hand in a dismissive way Dante rolled his eyes, “Those partners never stay very long, for good reason too. Vanitas, the jerk, puts them in danger, treats them with his usual barbs when they try to get friendly, and pushes them away when he finds someone better,” bitterly Dante muttered, “and I’m his substitute during the in-between times when his partners leave him. I know first-hand that the best way to deal with that guy is to stay away when he tells you to stay away.”
Catching on quickly, Johann laced his fingers together and rested his chin on the bridge. “Darling Noé has lasted quiet long with Vanitas.”
“And gotten close. We saw what happened with that whacky doctor and all that. But get this,” Dante leaned his elbows on the table, “I saw them have a fight. A pretty nasty one too.”
Johann’s eyebrows lifted at this, “Oh? Scandalous. Do tell.”
“It was when I went to go tell them about the beast. Noé woke up and was acting kinda weird. Then he just blurted out that the smell of Vanitas’s blood—Vanitas was a bit cut up—was driving him mad. Then,” Dante’s cheeks dusted a little red and he lowered his voice, “he asked for a taste.”
“Oh my!” Johann exclaimed, putting a hand to his cheek, “right in front of you!”
“I think they forgot I existed.” Dante scratched his neck, “anyways. It wouldn’t have been that weird. Blood drinking is pleasurable and Vanitas likes to play games like that, à la Jeanne. But, not this time,” a shiver traveled down Dante’s spine as he recalled the memory and Johann’s aura turned dark in response, “Vanitas’s whole demeanor shifted and he threatened to kill Noé if he tried to drink his blood. That kid is and Archivste, you know that right?”
“A chronic liar meets one who can unravel him with just a mere drop of blood.” Johann closed his eyes, “But to think that he threatened him so! That man is awful. Noé has been such a good partner to him, and yet.”
Dante nodded and sat back in his chair. “I thought they were done. Vanitas left. And like I’ve said, Vanitas changes partners like changing clothes. He’d wash his hands of Noé and leave without another word. Noé crossed a line.” Dante paused, breathing out a long sigh that was visible in the cold air. “That’s why I was so surprised when I saw them together again.” Dante put a palm down on the table firmly, shaking it a bit, “Noé isn’t like any of Vanitas’s other partners! The Vanitas I know would have dropped him harder than bricks no matter what kind of apology was given!”
“And Vanitas was clearly worried about sweet Noé when he went missing at Gévaudan. That was clear to both of us.” Johann finished his tea and set it down with a decisive clack.
The two locked eyes.
“Dante, now I am certain.”
“Hell yeah.”
Johann brought his hands together and announced in sing-song, “Vanitas has a deep, pining crush on that darling gentleman, Noé!”
“Bingo.” Dante nodded tersely. “I can’t get a read on Noé’s feelings, though the blood thing was fishy, but I’m absolutely positive that Vanitas is catching some feelings despite his efforts not to.” Leaning back on his chair and kicking his legs up on the table, Dante smirked, “I’m actually pretty excited to watch how this is going to go down. I think it will be good for him to act like an actual human with real emotions for once instead of a psychopath. And we get front row seats.”
“Nonsense!” Johann grew animated and stood up, leaning forward across the table in excitement. “This is exactly why I called you here today, dear!” Dante’s jaw dropped when Johann giggles reached maniac levels. “I want…”
Johann walked around the table and put both of his hands on Dante’s shoulders. He leaned into the man’s ear and playfully whispered. “I want us to play cupid!”
…
Dante literally almost fell out of his chair. Whipping around, Dante stood up. “Are you crazy! Why the hell would we do that? Count me out!”
“Oh, no.” Johann shook his head, “you should help me. I am doing this for us. For our family. For our safety.”
This caught Dante’s attention and settled his rising temper down like water to fire. “What. What do you mean?” Dante shook his head in disbelief. “How will setting them up help keep us safe?”
“Well,” Johann crossed his arms across his body and spat his words, “frankly,” the temperature seemed to drop as malice dripped from Johann’s venomous tone, “I hate Vanitas. He’s volatile and cares for no one. He is unbound. It makes him dangerous. And,” Johann’s knuckles turned white and his body went ridged, “he even threatened us.”
Dante swallowed hard.
“With no moral compass and such a flippant nature, there is nothing we can use as leverage against him.” Johann bit his nail seriously, “if not for our jobs, I would cut ties with him all together before he becomes a threat. But we need money. So,” Johann’s voice grew a bit lighter, “we should help the budding feelings in his heart grow. Give him a weakness. And Noé is such a soft child. I’m sure by his very nature he will help to neutralize Vanitas to a degree. The man doesn’t even value his own life aside from his mission at the moment, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”
Clicking his tongue, Dante jut his head away from Johann. “This leaves a bad taste in my mouth and sounds like a drag.”
Tutting a finger, Johann turned to look Dante straight in the eye. “We are helping Vanitas, we are helping ourselves too. This is perfect! I am sure you can see that.” Dante cursed under his breath. Johann’s candied words were with laced with daggers, “come on Dante~ Let’s play cupid~”
Dante’s nose scrunched with disgust.
“Fine you win.”
“Yippee! Now, listen up! I have a fool proof plan!”