Chapter Text
“I just can’t figure this out,” Regina huffs, frustrated. “I wouldn’t be alive if the Dark One didn’t want me to be. There must be some reason.”
Since Cora escaped from Azkaban, Regina has barely been able to focus on anything else than trying to figure out why she is alive.
On the surface, she has very legitimate reasons for wanting to find out why she survived the dark curse — hell, everyone does. How she died anyway and was somehow revived. And that in itself is worth researching, of course, it is.
But Regina is convinced her mother somehow put something dark and evil inside her, some charm that the dark curse triggered. so Regina was born again as a weapon, something that has made her rotten and dangerous. It’s a cycle she’s stuck on, something she is so sure has happened she’s unable to think of any other possible reason why she could have died and come back to life.
And Robin hates it, cannot stand researching from this angle, of wondering what dark, soul-corrupting thing was done to her.
“Why are you so sure it’s something bad? You died and came back to life. Perhaps that’s a good thing. Maybe there was something inside you that protected you. Something good.”
Regina rolls her eyes and looks at him. “If it was good, I’d be like you and live through it. But I died. I went somewhere dark. I know I did. Stop denying it. There’s no good magic inside me. I’m not special.”
“I beg to differ,” Robin says, winking at her with a smile. “You’re very special, and there’s not a sane person who would disagree.
“God, stop, let’s find out what is wrong with me before someone uses me to hurt someone,” Regina groans, her cheeks pinkening as she buries her nose in an ancient textbook, a little hint that she’s at least partially affected by Robin’s compliments.
Good. He won’t stop them.
But he can’t get the idea out of his mind that perhaps the reason Regina came back to life was for a good purpose.
Before he knows it, he is secretly researching things from a different angle — knowing she won’t approve, keeping it to himself.
His research starts when he is looking at old newspapers for the account of the day - after all, Cora enacted the dark curse in front of a large audience.
There’s even a short video of it. An enchanted camera caught it, and it’s in this paper, playing on a loop.
Robin doesn’t like to look at it, because it’s quite brutal. Regina can’t watch it at all because it shows Daniel’s death. So he watches it alone.
This time, he focuses on the expressions of each individual rather than the action itself. Daniel seems so ready to take the curse, but then Regina comes to save him and he looks…. Worried. Cora looks sickened when she sees her curse hit, but Regina... There’s initially fear, but the second the curse hits her, she almost smiles. She looks so calm, so peaceful.
That’s probably why so many suspected her of wrongdoing. She doesn’t seem like a girl who knows death is coming. But Robin knows Regina and knows how she felt about Daniel. She was happy when the curse struck her because it meant she saved Daniel. Regina Mills always feared things worse than death. Surviving at the expense of others was always a worse end than dying.
After she collapses Daniel freezes and stares at her as if waiting for something to happen, hoping for her to somehow be alright. Robin supposes he’d do the same should she ever fall to harm, but something about his expression seems more… curious than upset. But sadly for Daniel, his momentary pause is his demise. Cora is able to kill him in an instant, before collapsing herself.
In grief for her daughter, in pain…. He’s not sure. She’s apprehended easily after that. Doesn’t truly fight it.
It’s hard as hell seeing how the press painted Regina, but he reads account after account trying to find some information. He can’t get those expressions out of his head, particularly Daniel’s.
One of Daniel’s friends — Marshall Crestbluff - is interviewed, and that shocks him the most.
The statement reads, “Daniel sacrificed his life for a greater cause. He had worked his whole life to fight this, to fight the Dark One. His death will not be in vain. We will continue to fight it, though we will miss his brilliance and courage.”
It doesn’t sound like a grieving classmate talking about Daniel as a do-gooder.
No, it sounds like a member of an organization, speaking on behalf of the community.
“Do you know someone by the name of Marshall Crestbluff?” Robin asks Regina one day as they research.
She looks up at him, puzzled. “How do you know him? He was in Daniel’s year. Never really spoke to him. He had a class or two with Daniel, but that’s it. Why?”
Robin isn’t sure how to answer. “Just… his statement after Daniel’s death. Seemed a bit odd.”
“Are you investigating Daniel?” She asks, narrowing her eyes in anger. “I think we can clear him. He died.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “No, I’m not investigating him as a wrongdoer. I’m wondering if maybe he was able to protect you.”
“But I died,” She reminds again. “You’re saying Daniel enacted a spell on me to make me a living zombie? For what purpose?”
“I don’t…” Robin sighs. “I do not think that at all. I just thought there might be more to this on his end.”
“You’re wasting your time,” Regina gripes. “Either help me or quit, please don’t go investigating dead ends. Especially dead ends related to Daniel.”
“Sorry,” he whispers, but he makes her no assurances he won’t keep digging.
He shouldn’t do it, considering how upset it makes Regina, but he looks up this Marshall Crestbluff any way. He digs. And he digs.
It turns on Marshall Crestbluff is often on sight at many of the disasters in America. He sees him in pictures, always to the side, always there for these dark events dismissed by the ministry as isolated incidents.
There’s another school aged person — Penelope Yalweathers, who keeps showing up around him. And several years back, he spots Daniel close to them.
No one ever pays attention to teenagers, so he’s not surprised that no one ever questions why they seem to be present for so many of these incidents.
Marshall is involved specifically in one incident at the Ilvermorny library when a group of dementors attacked. He was able to ward them off with the help of another seventh year. Regina has told Robin about that event — a curious incident where she and Daniel were not present.
Marshall now works as an assistant professor at Ilvermorny now, which is odd considering his obvious skill in the defense of the dark arts. He’d expect the man to be training as an Auror or some other prestigious job with the MACUSA.
It’s just a hunch, but Robin thinks Marshall and Daniel might have started a group similar to the one he and Regina are starting. A group to fight the ministry, to handle the incidents on their own since the adults are proving to be brainwashed and idiots.
But why did Regina never know about this?
So he writes to Marshall anyway, without ever telling Regina.
Mr. Crestbluff,
I am a sixth year at Hogwarts. My name is Robin Locksley. I suspect you may be familiar to me. I write to you because recently Regina Mills has joined our school. The Ministry is dismissing the danger factor here, even after Cora escaped from Azkaban. We are left to fend for ourselves.
We recently underwent a dementor attack in Hogsmeade and it reminded me of the attack in the Ilvermorny library. In doing more research I found you may have found yourself in the situation my students and I currently are in. I am writing for advice, warning, for anything.
Very Truly Yours,
Robin Locksley
It takes four days for Robin to get an owl back.
Mr. Locksley,
Of course I am familiar with the Boy Who Lived. As an Ilvermorny Golden boy, I studied you in detail. Much has been discussed about Ms. Mills interacting with you, but I did keep up enough to hear she was assigned Ravenclaw. I cannot say I’m as surprised as everyone else by the sorting results, of course, Daniel informed me of her talents.
I know you seek information sealed in the room without windows, but I am unable to provide them to those who cannot find the entrance and knock themselves.
Your brother in arms,
Marshall Crestbluff
What the fuck? What the fuck is this nonsense about a room without windows? Golden boy? What in the hell does that mean?
He’s inspecting the letter for the tenth time when it is taken clean out of his hands. He looks up in a panic, and thank god, the person holding the paper is Belle, not Regina.
“What is this?” She asks. “I expected some sappy, embarrassing note from John’s mom asking you to eat more or something.”
Robin sighs and looks at Belle. He needs her help. He’s shit at researching himself — it’s actually a miracle he’s gotten this far at all. So he explains everything.
And Belle, well, instead of chastising him for hiding this from Regina, she only grows more excited.
“This,” she said, holding up the letter triumphantly, “Is a riddle. He has answers and he wants to give them to you but he can’t tell you in a letter. There’s something secretive here.”
“Well, I’m fucked. I’m shit at riddles,” Robin groans.
Belle smiles at him knowingly. “But I’m not.”
She takes the entire project out of his hands and tells him she will let him know if anything is found.
With every day that passes, he feels more guilty for keeping this from Regina.
They were supposed to have no secrets. She’s telling him her fears, resting on his shoulder at night and thanking him for helping, for at least keeping her company, for helping her with her own patrons, for learning how to fight evil, for giving her space and patience. And he can’t truly appreciate her words when he’s keeping this from her.
He is sick to his stomach over it, actually.
But a week later, Belle finds Robin, a big smile on her face.
“Found it!” she exclaims. “The golden doors. See?”
She points to a blurb in an ancient education textbook of all things.
“So apparently centuries ago, Ilvermorny professors used a series of magically enchanted rooms to keep test information secure. Super elaborate system, almost silly for its purpose. You summon them and can keep whatever documents you want in there. The only person who can read or open the door beside yourself is a person who you designate.”
“What do golden doors have to do with—“ Robin starts but Belle waves her hand.
“See, there are four golden doors that lead into rooms surrounded by other doors. Each room is surrounded by other rooms full of secure information. See? No windows! A room with no windows! And remember how he capitalized the “g” in “golden boy”? That was a hint.”
“I…” Robin says scratching his head. “I think you might be brilliant.”
“You’re only figuring that out now?” Belle asks with a wink.
“Videre aurum fores!” Belle says with concentration, waving her wand with one hand and holding Robin’s hand with her other.
Four golden doors appear around them.
“Knock,” she whispers to Robin.
He’s confused but does as she says, knocking with his wand on the door in front of him.
“Robin of Locksley, what knowledge do you seek?”
He’s not sure. He looks to Belle in confusion.
“Information left by Marshall Crestfallen on the resistance,” she whispers.
“Oh!” Robin says, then repeats her words to the door.
“Crestfallen has given you and you alone the key. These documents will turn blank should they ever be taken from you,” the door warns. “You are permitted to share with worthy souls, but no one who wishes harm against the creators will be permitted to read what is written. Do you understand?”
Robin does.
“Go in there alone,” Belle whispers. “You should be the one to look. I’ll be here if you need help.”
He doesn’t argue, just nods.
Inside is a desk piled high with documents, a bookshelf similarly littered with papers and books.
It’s more research and information than he could have dreamed of, detailed information on a group of young children calling themselves MAGUSA’s Damned.
Daniel Colter, Penelope Yalweathers and Marshall Crestbluf were the main leaders, though Alexander Ralway and Freya Scarsdale were younger and appear to have a lot of influence.
It takes him days to go through it, and he thinks it might be helpful to have Belle read this too, but he wants to do as much alone as he can.
He’s so rarely able to use the doors because he’s so often with Regina. And keeping this secret is killing him.
He keeps his studies of this hidden subject to when Regina is in Advanced Potions. He hopes there will be a time when she goes shopping with Elsa and Sabine again, but since Hogsmeade suffered the dementor attack, she’s refused to leave the castle. So truly the one class they don’t share is the only time he can safely read up on this without worrying about her trying to find him.
There is a meeting of sorts, recounting the hours logged in a hidden room in Ilvermorny, meeting and practice and strategies discussed at length. It starts when Daniel is a Third Year, and it’s long and mostly boring.
What makes it a tiny bit interesting is that even at age fourteen, Daniel and his friends saw the signs better than the adults. They saw it coming. They knew the Dark One was back and in America. They knew Cora was a part of it. They were actively learning, working, to prepare for a bitter fight.
That’s why Daniel could conjure a Patronus so young. He practiced for endless hours, it didn’t come naturally to him. He was preparing for battle.
Robin doesn’t understand how Regina doesn’t know until the diary starts discussing her.
It’s written there and Robin’s heart hurts reading it.
Cora’s daughter deemed a key to discovering her weaknesses. Penelope Yalweathers has observed Regina as lonely and desperate for friends or perhaps a romance. Noted interest in Daniel Colter. Regina herself does not appear to be a threat though we cannot assume her mother hasn’t used her as a weapon of sorts. Daniel to approach.
He can’t finish reading anymore, not knowing what Regina thinks of Daniel, of how much she loves him. Her world would shatter if she found out he had never approached her out of the goodness of his heart. That he was investigating her.
Robin tries to find another book to read perhaps on a separate issue before he has to read this again. But then he catches a notebook with the inscription “DC” on it.
He holds his breath and opens the book.
It is, as he suspected, Daniel’s notes on his special mission.
Day one: Regina is indeed desperate for affection and friendship. I told her I would sit with her, comfort her through the Howlers. Hope to find information on Cora’s plans whatever way possible. Regina was initially distrusting if my offer, very concerned with why I would like to attach myself to her. I told her I saw good inside her. It appears to appease her.
Fuck.
He shouldn’t be reading this.
He can’t stop.
Day five: Clear evidence of abuse and torture in Regina’s past linked to Cora Mills but not Henry Mills. Incredibly intelligent and cunning, brave and wild but terrified of her mother to a default. I’ve not detected any charm or protection spell on her, but clearly, I need more research. Will be spending more time with her.
Day nine: Regina received a threatening letter from her mother about the company she keeps. Cora knows about me. We are aware that there are spies here working for Cora. We’ve suspected that spy is Regina but it appears not.
Day twenty-two: I believe Regina can be weaponized against her mother. She’s incredibly receptive to me and my opinion has already become highly important. I believe she may turn on her family in time.
Shit.
He skips ahead this time, months in the future.
Day ninety-seven: Despite being Cora’s mother, Regina is rather pure-hearted. She fears she cannot kill even in self-defense. She’s brilliant in Defense of the Dark Arts until a discussion of the death one’s opponent comes up, and then she freezes. This, combined with the frustrating fact Regina continues to love her abusive mother, is why I believe she will not be able to kill Cora even if we were able to create a situation where she would feel she had to defend her life or mine.
Day one hundred and two: As discussed in last night’s meeting, I encouraged Regina to take a mid-day nap after an intense study session. Once asleep I enacted the mirror charm on her (given to me by the brilliant Penelope). Regina woke up and told me she feels different, clearly very sensitive to spells put on her. Convinced her it was nothing but asked that she tell me if she experiences the feeling again. At least we will have a heads up if there is a curse put on her in the future.
The mirror charm? Fuck.
He leaves the room of the golden doors, depositing him back into the library, with Daniel’s diary in hand.
“Belle?” he asks frantically, roaming down the aisles to find her, god she must be here, she’s always around, fuck, she practically lives in this damn library.
“Belle?” his voice raises, ignoring the shh’s from annoyed students.
Bell stalks towards him, books in hand, looking furious.
“Robin, lower your voice, you’re going to get us into trouble,” she scolds.
He’s too upset to make a cheeky comment and just leads her down towards the section of ancient books on the history and development of mathematics.
No one has a class on that this semester and hardly anyone is interested in such a mundane muggle subject.
“What is a mirror spell?” Robin asks.
Belle tilts her head and shrugs. “Mirror spell? There are several spells that are colloquially called that. Creating a mirror, making a spell to make the victim parrot everything you do or say, a reflective spell, a—“
“Read this,” Robin directs, pointing to the page where Daniel mentions it.
“What this?” Belle asks, but he doesn’t have to answer. She’s already sitting, already reading.
“Oh, god,” Belle says as she absorbs the information. “Oh no, god poor Regina.”
When she gets to the mirror spell, she bites her lip.
“I don’t know what this is, Robin. But I’m going to find out.”
Robin nods. “Thank you. And as we agreed, you can’t tell her,” Robin reminds.
But this time Belle looks up skeptically at him. “She had some sort of spell enacted on her without her permission while she slept. And you want to keep that secret from her?”
“This will crush her. She has her entire self-worth based on the fact that Daniel loved her,” Robin argues. “I can’t take that away from her.”
“I would want to know,” Belle insists.
“You aren’t her. You haven’t been through what she has,” Robin insists. “Let her have this.”
“You love her, don’t you?” Belle asks, narrowing her eyes at him.
Robin blushes. “That’s not what this is about.”
“No, I mean, I’m very familiar with the fact you like her. You check her out all the time and you’re always acting all goofy in front of her the way you did when you were crushing on Carmella. But if you had a crush on her you’d be trying to figure out how to let her know. How to tell her that Daniel- the person she refuses to stop loving or move on- from was a jerk the whole time. I mean, Daniel’s memory is basically the only reason she keeps pushing you away isn’t it?”
“Belle,” Robin whispers back, “Stop it with the romance theories. Regina and I are just friends. We don’t have time for this now.”
But Belle is too intellectually curious for her own good and can’t let it go.
“I’d have been jealous of Daniel if I were you.”
“Well, then you’d be stupid. Jealous of a dead guy,” Robin scoffs.
“Robin,” Belle scolds. “Admit it.”
“What difference does it make?” he asks, frustrated. Regina already knows how he feels but they try to ignore it, and he’s certain telling other people how he feels would hurt her more.
“Because I need to determine if you have compromised motives here,” Belle explains.
Robin sighs, and stares at her. “You already know.”
“You don’t want her hurt,” Belle surmises.
Robin nods.
“No one wants to be the one to put their loved one in pain,” Belle says softly.
Belle has been through a lot, losing her mother so young. Having to break the news to her father at only seven years old. She knows what it's like to have loved ones in pain. She knows it too well.
“But—“
“I can tell her I found it. I can tell her it was all me,” Belle offers. “but Robin she has to know. Even if it hurts, she has to know.”
“Can we try to find out what it is yet? So she isn’t scared or worried on top of everything else? Until we figure out what it is it might not be important at all.”
Belle hesitates for a bit and then nods. “I’ll give you some time. And read the rest of this. I don’t think you’re exactly in the position to handle all of this.”
Robin frowns. “I can handle this and anything we need. Don’t coddle me.”
“You look like you’re going to murder someone,” Belle says softly. “You’re so angry. You need to calm down before you punch a hole in the wall. And quickly. Regina’s going to be out of potions class soon.”
Robin nods, walking to the restroom to splash water on his face, taking deep breaths as he feels white-hot flames of anger rise up inside him until they burn out, leaving him feeling helpless and cold.
Did she truly never have anyone who ever really cared?
He cannot give her much, but he can give her his devoted heart, what little of a mind he has, and all his unadvised bravery, surrender it all to her, pour it all into proving to her that she matters, that he sincerely cares, that she is the most wonderful thing in the world to him.
Even if she never loves him back, he will be sure she knows what it feels like to be loved.