Work Text:
Aaaand send! Bam, another email done! Dorothy smiled to herself as she checked off another item from her list. She had a lot to get done today, and it was all going well so far!
A rustling from the beds behind her distracted Dorothy. That would have to be-
*YAAAWN*
-Sierra waking up.
"G'mornin'." Sierra mumbled from up in her bunk, her eyes still closed as she disentangled herself from her bedsheets.
"Good morning." Dorothy replied.
Sierra stretched, yawning again. She slowly climbed down from her bed, stopping to wriggle her toes on the carpet absentmindedly for a moment. Eventually she walked over and put a hand on the back of Dorothy's chair, leaning forward enough to see the assortment of books, papers, and notes Dorothy had spread across her desk.
Dorothy glanced up at Sierra. "Hmm?"
Sierra sighed. "Saturday morning and you're already working, huh?"
"Yep." Dorothy grabbed a nearby textbook and started leafing through it. "Since... mmm, a little after eight a.m.?"
"Man, you're nuts." Sierra said, clucking her tongue pityingly. "Do you ever stop working?"
"Nope." Dorothy replied nonchalantly, well aware she was being teased.
"Bummer, dude."
"I can't stop." Dorothy declared, clenching a fist in front of her dramatically. "There's too much to do! Too much worth doing! I refuse to stop working until everything worth doing is done!" She paused for dramatic effect, then winked at Sierra. "... Or until 5 p.m., whichever comes first."
"Pfft, you dork." Sierra playfully shoved Dorothy in response. "Okay, fine, so what's so special about 5 o'clock?"
"Joyce and I are going to hang out!" Dorothy brightly declared. She started taking notes from the book she'd opened earlier. "I'm gonna work hard today, and then tonight I'll de-stress just hanging out with Joyce and doing whatever."
"Huh. Scheduled R&R?" Sierra chuckled. "You haven't done that in a while."
"Yeah, Joyce kinda talked me into it." Dorothy casually admitted. "Said I should try pacing myself a little, see if I work more effectively like that. I, uh, I guess I kinda figured 'why not?'." She shrugged.
"Sounds t'me like you're letting her push you around again." Sierra said, stepping away from Dorothy's desk. "Y'sure hanging out with Joyce is gonna be good for de-stressin' or whatever? I mean, she's cool an' all, but she can be kinda, uh, y'know..."
"Ah, c'mon. Sure, she can be a little, um-" Dorothy paused her writing for a moment, "-exhausting sometimes. But I really think she's been... less so, lately. " Satisfied, she resumed writing.
"Haha, that's sweet." Sierra replied, opening her closet. "But you're always singin' Joyce's praises, dude."
"Well, we spend a lot of time together. And I think she's done a lot of growing up since the semester started, you know? I mean, I always enjoyed spending time with her, but, well..." It occured to her that she was starting to sound kind of overly defensive of Joyce. Sierra wouldn't think that though. Would she? "B-but, I dunno, maybe I'm biased?" She hastily added.
"It's cool, dude. I getcha." Sierra replied, a little preoccupied with pulling on a pair of shorts. "S'whatever."
"Eheh... right." Dorothy shook her head. What was she even worrying about? She glanced down at her notes. There... weren't a lot, yet. Well, she was going to have to fix that if she wanted to relax in peace tonight!
"See you later, Sarah!" Joyce called cheerfully, stepping out into the dorm hallway. She got a positive-esque grunt out of Sarah as she closed the door, giving her a satisfied smile. Joyce started humming to herself a little as she walked down the hallway towards the elevator.
She noticed an open door partway down the hall. Of course, she knew it was Mandy and Grace's room even before she heard their voices from inside the room.
Both of the room's residents were standing just inside the doorway as she passed. Mandy noticed Joyce as she walked by, and waved hello excitedly. "Oh, hey Joyce!"
Joyce stopped to wave back happily. "Hi Mandy, hi Grace!"
"'Sup." Grace replied, nodding slightly.
Mandy clasped her hands together, beaming. "Hey, before I forget; congratulations, Joyce!"
"Huh?" Joyce cocked an eyebrow quizzically. She noticed Grace frown slightly, and give Mandy a strange look, which only compounded Joyce's confusion.
"I overheard you the other day." Mandy explained. Apparently she didn't notice the look Grace gave her. "Lesbian Love Sleuth, right? I'm so happy for you!"
"Oh!" Joyce exclaimed, surprised. "Um, thanks?" She smiled again, but a little nervously. She did call herself that from time to time, but... it seemed kind of weird for Mandy to be congratulating her for that?
Mandy giggled a little, then shot Grace a smug look. "And you didn't think she'd be out of the closet for months yet." She said. Grace only sighed in response, looking frustrated.
Joyce's mind raced. Out of the closet? Wait, did they think... "Oh! No no no!" She waved her hands frantically as realization hit her.
"Huh?" Mandy looked back at her, thoroughly confused.
"You've got it all wrong!" Joyce vehemently insisted. "'Lesbian' only modifies 'Love' in that descriptor! I just investigate lesbians." That still sounded too gay! "I mean, I'm not out of- I-I'm not g-- I-I-I'm not into girls!"
Mandy stared at her for a second, then frowned. "Aw, really?"
"N-not that there's anything wrong with that!" She added, too quickly. "J-just, y'know, I'm definitely not." She bit her tongue before she could start insisting that she didn't think about boys that way either.
"C'mon. I thought, y'know, you and D-mmf!" Mandy was interrupted by Grace elbowing her in the side. "Hey!" She glared back at Grace, confused.
"Honest mistake." Grace told Joyce.
"Right..." Joyce smiled apologetically. "Um, sorry for the confusion?" She waved as she hastily started to leave. "I-I'll see you girls later!"
"Yeah, okay." Mandy mumbled, waving half-heartedly.
Joyce could still hear them faintly as she walked away.
"I told you."
"But I thought for sure..."
Joyce was relieved as she heard their door close. What an awkward misunderstanding!
Dorothy had just one essay left to write that afternoon, when she was interrupted by an insistent knock on the door. It was Carla at the door, to Dorothy's surprise. Carla... didn't socialize much, did she?
"Good, you're here." Carla declared, with a huff.
"Hello, Carla." Dorothy replied, slowly. She was still a little taken aback, since she didn't really know Carla all that well. "What can I help you with?"
Carla scoffed impatiently. "I've gotta talk to you about Joyce. She's been a huge pain in the ass lately."
Joyce? She came over to complain about Joyce? That was kind of weird. Well, maybe Carla just needed to vent? "I'm sorry to hear that, Carla. What's she been doing?" She politely asked.
"What hasn't she done?" Carla replied. She sounded a little defensive as she said that, though. "She's on something new every fuckin' day! She's all 'So what are you doing today, Carla?' 'Do you ever get lonely rooming by yourself, Carla?' 'Carla, can you help me come to terms with how your life is so much more wicked awesome than mine?'" Dorothy couldn't tell if Carla was doing the mocking Joyce-voice deliberately or not.
Dorothy chuckled in spite of herself. Carla didn't seem to mind. It didn't sour her mood any more, at least. "It, um, sounds like she's been a handful." Dorothy replied.
Carla nodded slowly, but just stared at Dorothy expectantly. What? Did Carla expect her to say something else? The tall girl frowned impatiently, and opened her mouth again. "So, what are you gonna do abou-"
"Oh, hey, Keener! I gotta talk to you." Carla was interrupted by Roz popping up next to her, to the surprise of both her and Dorothy. Carla glared at Roz for interrupting, but she only smiled back innocently. "How ya doin', Carla?"
Carla shrugged, apparently not too bothered. "Awesome as always. Just trying to get Joyce to stay outta my business."
"Exactly!" Roz declared, sounding delighted. "Yeah Keener, you gotta talk to her. She's been drivin' me up a wall. And a bunch of other girls on the floor, too. She's always popping in on folks unexpectedly and doing annoying stuff. An' lately she's been going' around asking all these weird, inappropriate questions, too. She's got, like, no respect for personal space!"
"Aheh. Yeah, she can... uh, that's a problem she has." But Joyce had been getting better about that, hadn't she? Dorothy didn't want to throw her friend under the bus, but... oh, they were both staring at her expectantly. Dorothy smiled weakly. "I, uh. I suppose you've already tried asking her to stop?"
Carla snorted dismissively.
"You think she listens to anyone?" Roz replied. She gave Dorothy a pitying look. "Please. That girl does not take a hint."
"Oh, she doesn't take an order, either." Carla added.
"Phrases like 'restraining order' and 'forcibly removed' are just white noise to her."
"Oh, you're still on threats? I just actually forcibly remove her."
"Well, I haven't, but Mary did throw her out once..."
"Yeah, it's not perfect, but it usually keeps her away for a little while."
"Come on." Dorothy interjected. "Y-you're exaggerating a little, aren't you?"
"Nope!" Carla insisted. Dorothy wasn't sure she meant it though.
"Yeah, fine, she's not awful or anything." Roz admitted. "And, like, I get what she's doing. She grew up super repressed, and this super open campus is makin' a lotta gears turn in her head. I'm not opposed to helping her expand her horizons a little, y'know. But it's not like she listens to anything I say anyway!"
"We ain't gotta put up with her." Carla added. "And it's not my job to teach her anything!"
"Okay, yeah, that's fair." Dorothy conceded. She sighed. "So, you've come to me because..."
"Because you're the only one she does listen to." Roz explained. "Everybody's noticed."
"Heck, one time she she was only bothering me in order to kill time while you were busy." Carla added.
"Wha-really?" Dorothy asked Roz, somewhat incredulous.
"Okay, she didn't say so, but I could tell." Carla admitted, ignoring that Dorothy wasn't even responding to her.
"You're, like, her best friend." Roz elaborated. "And she gives you a heck of a lot more respect than anyone else around here."
"It helps that she's got that huuuge crush on you." Carla added.
"Pffffffffftt" Roz sputtered, failing to stifle a laugh. "I mean, I wasn't gonna go there, but..." She regained her composure, and shrugged innocently. "But yeah, it would be super convenient if you could, like, walk her through her feelings for you. That'd probably help with a lotta that repression, right?"
"Oh please." Dorothy rolled her eyes. After so much time spent around Walky, it was practically a reflex.
"No, seriously!" Roz insisted. "You honestly haven't noticed? Girl's crazy about you."
"I'm not blind. I know she can be rather, uh-" Affectionate? Attached? "-Enthusiastic. And I'm not saying she doesn't have hangups to work through, but... it's not like that."
"Hey, loads of people've picked up on it." Roz replied, with a skeptical air. "How can you be so sure?"
Because of Becky, Dorothy's subconscious retorted immediately. She didn't actually say that, though. That wasn't her story to tell. And... and maybe that wasn't conclusive evidence? Dorothy stopped to consider that. It wasn't, necessarily, was it?
"Uh, hello? Earth to Keener?"
Dorothy's brow furrowed. Well what about Jacob, or Ethan? Joyce had clearly been attracted to them- but that didn't prove anything either! She could have multiple preferences! Logically speaking, she didn't have any proof that Joyce couldn't be attracted to women, too. So why had she-
"Look, I don't really care if she's into girls or not." Carla declared, loudly enough to startle Dorothy out of her train of thought. "I just want her to stop pestering me so much."
"Uh-" Dorothy blinked. Carla was right. Joyce's sexuality wasn't pertinent to what they were talking about. Why did she care so much? "That's... that's fair." She conceded, trying to focus on the topic at hand. "Look, I'll try talking to her when I see her later tonight. Okay?"
"Good." Carla replied, brightening up suddenly. "Thank you!" Apparently satisfied, she promptly turned and walked away. Hunh.
Taken aback by Carla's abrupt change in mood, Dorothy blankly watched her walk down the hall back to her own room. She could hear her door slowly creak to a close in the awkward silence.
Eventually Roz cleared her throat to get Dorothy's attention again. "So yer sure Joyce ain't in the closet?" She asked, smiling mischievously.
Dorothy sighed, pinching her forehead in frustration. Roz wasn't going to let this go, was she? "Maybe not one hundred percent," Dorothy admitted, trying to ignore how Roz's smile grew obnoxiously wide, "but I'm reasonably certain. There's... evidence." Inconclusive evidence, her subconscious reminded her. "Although it's definitely not my place to say."
Roz did her best to put on an innocent expression. "Oh come on, you can tell me. I'm not gonna tell anyone else!"
Dorothy's eyes narrowed. "Roz, you're worse than a professional gossip."
Roz waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, like you're any better. You write for the paper all the time!"
"That's not the same thing!" Dorothy protested, "I have journalistic integrity!" How did Roz always manage to push her buttons like this?
Roz took a step back, holding up her hands in mock defeat. "Alright, alright, whatever. I'll let you keep your delusions. Newspapers are bastions of privacy, and Joyce isn't totally into you. Just talk to her about maybe respectin' folks' personal space more, alright? Whatever the reason, she'll actually listen to you." Roz waved as she turned and walked away.
Dorothy waved back feebly, managing a frustrated smile as she watched Roz go. Well, however much she did or didn't agree with Roz, she was going to have to talk to Joyce about something now.
Joyce looked up as the elevator's ding welcomed her back to her floor. She checked the time as she stepped out into the hallway. It was just after four o'clock. Was it too early to go hang out with Dorothy? Joyce wasn't sure. Dorothy had said five o'clock, after all. But... surely she wouldn't mind if Joyce showed up a little early? Nah, Dor' wouldn't mind. Smiling, she started walking down the hallway.
Joyce's smile faded a bit as she passed Mandy and Grace's door, closed now. She glanced at it, recalling that awkward conversation earlier. She was (mostly) used to the 'Joyce is into girls' jokes various people had come up with since the semester started. But that had been a weird way to make a joke. Did people seriously think that she wasn't straight?
She was staring at Dorothy's door now, she realized. Hmph. Dor' would... probably not like it if Joyce showed up before she was finished working. Yeah, definitely not. She should really wait. But how else was she going to pass the time? ... Aha!
She knocked on Amber and Dina's door instead.
Hmm, no response. She knew Dina was off somewhere with Becky. But it was Amber she was hoping was in there. She was probably just being antisocial or something, right? Joyce knocked again, a little more insistently, then quickly put her ear to the door. Aha! She heard someone moving!
She stepped back as the door opened a moment later, slowly and cautiously. Amber poked her head out, and frowned when she was met with Joyce's beaming smile. "Oh." She declared, dryly, "We're doing this again, huh?"
"Hi, Amber!" Joyce replied, undeterred. "How are you today?"
"About as eager to talk to you as always, Joyce." Actually, she sounded a lot more chipper than she usually did. She hadn't even tried to slam the door shut in Joyce's face yet!
"I just wanted to say hello! Maybe you'd like some company for a bit?"
Amber sighed. "After all this time, you still don't know me very well, do you?"
"Okay okay, fine." Joyce hesitated a moment. "Actually, I had a question for you."
"About what?" Amber asked, arching an eyebrow suspiciously.
"Um." Joyce glanced up and down the hallway before leaning in conspiratorially and continuing, "About your, uh, writing?"
"About my-" Amber's eyes widened as she realized what Joyce meant. "No. No, I am not talking about that with you."
Joyce gasped as Amber swiftly moved to slam the door closed. She desperately pushed to keep it open but, dang, Amber was strong! "Please, Amber, wait!" She begged. "I just think your stories are really cool!"
She was relieved to feel Amber stop pushing for a moment, considering. "How much have you read?" Amber demanded, from behind the door.
"J-just the one about Batman and Superman, that you had open on your computer last week."
Amber poked her head out again, regarding Joyce suspiciously.
Joyce gulped. "O-okay, more than that. I memorized the url so that I could find your account later and, um, I read a lot more?" She smiled apologetically.
"How the fuck did you-" Amber paused, almost dumbfounded. Eventually her shoulders sagged and she groaned. After a moment more she opened the door most of the way. "Ugh. I knew I should've kicked you out that day." She waved Joyce inside, and Joyce stepped in gleefully. She'd just known Amber would come around!
Amber closed the door again as soon as Joyce was inside. "You haven't shared my stuff with anyone else, right?" She demanded.
"No, I promise." Joyce replied quickly.
"Good. Don't." Amber insisted. There was venom in her voice. "That stuff's supposed to be private. It's bad enough already that you snooped my account like that."
"I'm sorry!" Joyce said quickly, though she didn't really regret doing it. All those stories had been really, um... fascinating. Amber was such a good writer!
Amber sighed, aggravated but maybe not as hostile as she'd sounded. "You're just lucky I don't put the really personal stuff online."
"W-well, you don't have to worry." Joyce insisted. "I, um, I don't know if I'd ever be brave enough to share those stories with other people."
Amber rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure it's all very scandalous for you."
"I-I don't know." Joyce smiled nervously. "I think a lot of what I read was very... sweet? Some of the, um, the romantic parts. N-not the, uh, y'know..."
"The fucking." Amber dryly concluded.
"N-not that there's anything w-wrong with that either!" Joyce added hastily. "I-it's just that I have some personal hangups that I'm working through and-"
"Ugh." Amber cut in, raising a hand to silence Joyce. "Just... just stop." She sighed, and went over to her desk to slowly drag her chair out to the middle of the floor. She sat down in it backwards, laying her arms on the headrest. "Look," She asked, to Joyce's surprise sounding much more calm, "can we just focus on whatever you wanted to ask me?"
"Right." Oh gosh. "Okay, s-so obviously you write a lot about characters that are, like, in love, right? Super-duper totally in love?"
"Uh. I guess so? Most of the time?"
"And you do such a good job of writing that- their feelings for each other, I mean!" Joyce clasped her cheeks, trying to contain her excitement so she could speak coherently. "I love the stories where they don't realize they like each other yet, but they totally do like each other, and every scene it's like, 'oh my gosh you two, j-just smooch already'!"
"That's, uh, not usually what people are focusing on in my fics." Was that the hint of a smile on Amber's face? "But sure, I'm glad you like that."
"Well, um." Joyce was really blushing now. "I think some of the other parts are... interesting, too." She was speaking with a hushed tone now. "A-after the smooching, I mean."
"Good for you." Amber replied flatly. "But you're losing focus again."
Oh, right. Thin ice. "Sorry." Joyce gulped. "Well, how do you tell when someone has buried feelings like that? I thought I was pretty good at recognizing when people are in love, but, well..."
"That's what you wanted to ask me? You're talking in real life now, right?" Amber scoffed incredulously. "Oh, I am definitely not the right person to ask about that."
"You're not?" But... but the characters! The cute, oblivious interactions! The buried feelings!!
Amber buried her face in her hands. "Oh god. You just wanted to ask me for relationship advice. You're asking me for relationship advice."
"I-I didn't say it was about me!"
"Joyce," Amber spoke through her hands, "real people are a mystery to me. They're terrifying. Unpredictable." She lifted her head back up with an exasperated sigh. "I'd be a much happier person if I could tell whether people liked me or not. Hell, I'd settle for knowing everyone didn't secretly hate me."
"I wasn't talking about me!" Joyce insisted. "I mean, like, when you see other people! How do you tell when they like each other?"
"What, are you friend-shipping or something?" Amber mused. "I don't think you're supposed to ship real people. I mean, that doesn't stop me, but..." Joyce didn't think she was supposed to hear that last bit.
"Okay, so just the characters in your stories then! What do you see between, say, Batman and Superman that makes you go 'oh my gosh they're totally into each other'?"
"Well..." Amber glanced towards the window. "I think it'd be hot?" She admitted, with a sheepish grin.
Joyce pouted, disappointed. "That's it?"
Amber gave Joyce a strange look, then shook her head. "You don't get it, do you? When I'm writing fic, I don't have to worry about what other people think. I don't need to come up with justifications or whatever, I can just focus on what I really want." She chuckled morosely. "... There's a reason why I keep most of my fic offline. And private."
"Oh." Joyce wasn't sure what to make of that. "But even then, the writing helps? Focusing on what you want helps?"
Amber shrugged heavily. "Maybe? Doesn't help me stop being afraid of people, but..."
"Well, you share stuff online sometimes, right?" Joyce asked.
Amber shrugged. "Carefully. Under a pseudonym. In places where nobody knows who I really am. So that I can distance myself if there's, um, backlash."
"You've never shown your writing to people who know it's you?" That sounded... not good?
Amber's eyes narrowed again. "Sure I have. To very close friends. People I can trust. People who wouldn't just, y'know, snoop my stuff without my knowledge."
"Eheheh... um..." Joyce tugged her collar. She was starting to actually feel sorry for doing that.
Amber glanced in the direction of her computer with an uncomfortable expression. "Look, is that all? I answered your question as best I can. C-can you leave me alone now? I was kind of busy before you interrupted me..."
Joyce checked her phone. Four-thirty. Dang! "Aww, can't I stick around a little longer? I just need to kill a little more time before I can go hang out with Dorothy."
Amber simply slumped in her chair, groaning heavily into the headrest.
Dorothy glanced at the time again before she could stop herself. Four-forty. And her last essay still wasn't done. She was so close! But suddenly there were too many distractions eating at her attention- like worrying about the time.
Or wondering why she kept hearing Joyce and Amber talking over in Amber's room. She'd resisted the urge to eavesdrop, but it sounded like Joyce was pestering Amber now. Naturally, that made her recall talking to Roz and Carla earlier. Maybe she was going to have to have a talk with Joyce after all.
About respecting people's boundaries, anyway. Not that secret crush nonsense. After all, it was nonsense, right? Of course it was! Why was she even thinking about that?
"Tsk." Dorothy forced herself to focus on her essay again, chiding herself for getting distracted again. She could worry about Joyce later! She was literally scheduled to worry about Joyce later!
*BANG*
*Stomp Stomp Stomp*
...
*Click*
Amber stepped in from the half-bath, having apparently opened the door on Dorothy's side with much more care than her own door. "Dorothy! I'm begging you- take Joyce off my hands!" She went over to the bunks and clasped her hands together, looking at Dorothy pleadingly.
"I'm kind of busy right now, Amber. What's going on?" Why was everybody today acting like she was Joyce's keeper or something?
"Nnnnnm." Amber's looked exasperated at having to explain herself. "She's being really annoying again, but I'm trying to be nicer and we, like, shared a moment or something but she's still really stressing me out and-- and I can't stand it anymore! She said she'd leave me alone once you were ready to hang out with her or whatever- can't you just be ready already?"
It was at that moment that Joyce poked her head in. If she'd heard anything Amber just said, she didn't show it. "Hi, Dorothy! Did you get all your work done?"
Dorothy chuckled, glancing back at her laptop and considering. Apparently she was going to have to worry about Joyce now. That was frustrating, right? But she found herself more amused than annoyed. "Ennh." She declared, "Close enough."
Joyce clasped her hands together gleefully, only to be startled as Amber unceremoniously shoved her into the room. She quickly mouthed a wordless thank you to Dorothy, and shut the door to the half bath to eagerly retreat to her own room.
... Okay then. Dorothy got up, stretching. Boundaries. She needed to have another talk with Joyce about boundaries. Should be easy, right? Just get that out of the way, then they could hang ou- oof!
Joyce pulled Dorothy into a tight hug, wrapping her arms around her as soon as she stepped out from under the bunk bed. Though surprised, Dorothy returned the embrace after a moment.
"Eheh. Um, sorry." Joyce said as she let her go. "I was waiting all day for that Dorothy hug!"
"Aheh." Dorothy smiled absentmindedly, finding herself caught off-guard by Joyce's enthusiasm. What had she been thinking about?
"So, another day full of hard work for you, eh?" Joyce asked, gently teasing.
"Hm? Oh, you know it." Dorothy replied, posing a little in mock-pride, hands on her hips. "Just nonstop academic toil for me."
"Aww, that's no good. We can't have you getting overworked now!"
"Good thing I scheduled an entertainment intervention in advance, eh?"
"Oh! You did do that! And with your bestest pal, too!" Joyce grinned. "And I've been waiting patiently for this all day, too."
"Oh, I'm sure." Dorothy replied, skeptically. Amber had looked like she'd disagree about that 'patiently' part. She blinked. Oh, right. Boundaries. She'd nearly forgotten.
"You okay?" Joyce asked, noticing Dorothy's distraction.
"Yeah. I just, uh, remembered something."
Joyce tilted her head ever so slightly. "Hm?"
"So, a couple of our floor-mates visited me today. And they were, um, kind of upset with you?"
"What?" Joyce exclaimed, pouting at this news. Dorothy winced. "Wh-what'd I do?"
"Apparently you don't leave people alone when they ask you to? And they were frustrated about it. Enough to ask me to say something to you, at least?" She had taken on an apologetic tone without even meaning to. Why did she have to be the one to do this again?
"That's ridiculous." Joyce insisted, though she sounded a little doubtful.
No, sadly it wasn't. "Weeeell, you do have a bit of a blind spot with regards to personal space."
"N-no I don't! C'mon, I just spent all morning giving you space!" Joyce paused a moment, before adding "A-and I respect Sal's space, now!"
"Okay," Dorothy conceded, "You've got me there. So you extend that same courtesy to everyone, right? Not just your friends?"
"Umm..." Joyce's eyes darted evasively to the side. "I-if people want me to leave them alone, they just have to ask!"
Dorothy sighed. "They have asked, Joyce. Repeatedly."
"R-right. Aheh..." Joyce chuckled nervously. At a loss for words, she started to twirl a lock of her hair self-consciously. "Um..."
"Hey, it's okay." Dorothy insisted. "I don't think anybody's really all that mad." Well now she was just understating things. "Just-- look, you're already half way there right? Just, y'know, try to respect everyone's privacy. Not just a few people's."
"Right..." Joyce looked contemplative for a moment, then brightened considerably. "Okay. I can do that!"
Huh. Dorothy smiled, relieved. "Well, that was easy. Thank you, Joyce."
Joyce waved a hand dismissively. "What can I say, Dor'? When you're right, you're right."
Something was nagging Dorothy though. "So you'll listen to me when I ask you, but not when other people ask?"
"Aheh. Um. Do I?" Joyce shrugged. "I dunno, you always manage to break things to me nicely."
Okay, Dorothy was glad she appreciated that, but... "That's it?"
Joyce hesitated a moment. "It means a lot to me." She said, speaking a little more softly. "Of course I don't like that I get things wrong sometimes, but... you're always patient and understanding with me, you know? I know you don't have to be."
Aww. Dorothy found herself smiling appreciatively.
"And you always know just what to say to make me feel better." Joyce added. "And you're always so fun to hang out with!"
"Aheh. Um, thanks?" Was she going somewhere with this?
Joyce put a hand to her mouth, studying Dorothy appraisingly all of a sudden. Was she starting to blush? "And-- and you're really pretty, too."
Wait-
"Gosh, maybe I do like you!"
She knew she'd said that out loud, right? The two girls stared at each other in disbelief for a moment, processing what Joyce had just said. Suddenly Joyce flinched and, making a panicked noise, scooted backwards until she was almost up against the wall.
"Snrrk." Dorothy snorted, failing to stifle a bemused laugh. It served as an icebreaker, at least- Joyce was able to look her in the eye again. "Hah. W-was that a confession?" Dorothy teased.
"I-I don't know! M-maybe?" Joyce stammered, trying and failing to keep her voice even. She tried to smile, but it was awkward, nervous. "I'm not sure! H-how can I tell?"
Oh. Dorothy's snarky smile wilted.
"I-I mean, people make jokes all the time, right?" Joyce continued, "And I know they're just being jerks. B-but I guess at some point I started really wondering and-and then I couldn't stop and-- wh-what if I'm missing something that's obvious to everyone else?"
Dorothy suddenly found herself with so many questions that she couldn't decide what to ask first. "You've been stressing out about his for a while, haven't you." She found herself musing.
Joyce didn't answer, but her gaze slowly fell to the floor.
"Does-- does the possibility that you're attracted to a girl scare you?" Attracted to me, Dorothy had to remind herself.
"Y-yes?" Joyce glanced back up briefly, looking for a reaction on Dorothy's face. "B-but not as much as it should? But then that's scary too, so, um..."
"It's scary that it's not scary?" Dorothy arched an eyebrow.
"Yes! If I'm not scared then that means I'm thinking about it, and if I'm thinking about it that means I'm being tempted and if I'm being tempted then, um..."
"'Tempted'?" Dorothy was unable to keep the disappointment out of her voice. Joyce was starting to sound too much like she did at the beginning of the school year. "Joyce, do you really still think of homosexuality as a sin?"
"Of course not!" Joyce protested, looking hurt. "Look, I-I know it shouldn't be a big deal. I swear I don't have a problem with other people being gay or-- or bi or whatever. I don't. But when it's me I'm thinking about it-- it means a lot of things. It changes things, a-and I'm not sure I could handle that."
Dorothy felt like she was starting to understand. "Are you afraid of what other people would think? Oh, Joyce. I think anyone that's questioning worries about that."
"I mean, I've thought about what would happen. If I really do, um, y-y'know. Some people would make dumb jokes. A-and maybe some strangers would be jerks, yeah. I can handle that stuff. B-but then there's some people I-- I don't know how I'd explain it to them. I j-just don't know how they'd..."
"Oh. You're worried about-" Her parents. Right. "-... oh." Dorothy didn't have an answer for that. She couldn't just tell Joyce everything would be okay. And she couldn't tell Joyce to stop caring about what they thought! ... She really wanted to, though. It was important, but...
"I'm sorry!" Joyce blurted unexpectedly, apparently taking Dorothy's indecision for discomfort. She leaned against the wall uneasily. "I-I'm being stupid, right?"
"What?" Dorothy snapped back into focus. "Hey, it's okay."
"But I'm just dumping all this stuff on you. Saying 'maybe I like you', then telling you I can't do anything about it... it's silly." Joyce let herself slowly slump towards the floor as she continued. "I'm screwing up again, aren't I? I never get this kind of stuff right."
Dorothy went to kneel next to Joyce. Would a hug be appropriate right now? She wasn't sure. She compromised by seating herself next to Joyce, huddling up close and smiling when Joyce glanced in her direction. "Joyce, c'mon." She said, trying earnestly to reassure her, "This is totally different from that old stuff. You're allowed to be confused over stuff like this!" She hesitated a moment. "Or scared, even. ... I just wish there was something I could do to help."
"Mmmh..." Joyce folded her arms, huddling up against the wall more. "I'm just... kind of tired of being the one who always freaks out about gay-type stuff. I tried to just be like 'hey, maybe I've had a crush on Dorothy all semester', but it all feels weird and it's confusing and it means so many things and I just-" She sighed. "I wish I could just dive into things the way Becky does now."
Dorothy put a hand on Joyce's shoulder. "There's no shame in wanting to feel things out carefully. I'm sure Becky would tell you the same thing! And there are ways to figure out how you feel that aren't, y'know, 'diving into things'."
Joyce stared forward, contemplative. "... You mean like that meeting I took Ethan to that one time? For people who were, um, 'questioning'?" She sat up a little, looking at Dorothy again. "That was nice."
Dorothy smiled encouragingly. "See? I didn't even know you did something like that."
Joyce laughed softly. "I mean, it wasn't for me. Although I probably still have the pamphlets from that..." She trailed off, another thought occurring. "Am I 'questioning' now? Is that what's happening?" She clasped her face, clearly conflicted.
Well, yeah, probably, but- "Do you want to be?" was all Dorothy asked.
"Maybe? It's frustrating. Maybe I just... want to be done questioning? I kinda just want to be sure about how I feel at this point."
"Well..." Dorothy was distantly aware that she was starting to feel a bit warm. "I mean, if you'd rather try stuff, I-I wouldn't mind helping."
"Like-- like date-type stuff? You'd really do something like that with me?" Joyce's eyes widened, staring at Dorothy with a look of growing awe.
Dorothy froze. That was exactly what she meant, wasn't it? "Y-yeah, we can d-do that." She stammered. Was she blushing? "Go on a date. I-If you think it'd help!" Dammit, Keener! But Joyce just giggled as Dorothy smacked herself on the forehead in frustration.
"Hah! Are you a little 'confused' now too?" Joyce teased.
"Yes? Er, maybe? I-I don't-" The implications were hitting Dorothy all at once now. "I mean, I've never been attracted to a girl before. A-as far as I know, anyway!" She chuckled nervously. "Aheh. I-I guess I'm not really experienced with this kinda stuff either."
"That... kind of makes me feel better, actually." Joyce admitted.
"But I do really enjoy spending time with you. A-and maybe I like you that way, too!" She exhaled, still trying to calm down. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm up for it if you want to try to work things out, ah... scientifically?"
"Scien-" Joyce gasped. "Oh my gosh, Dorothy, is... is science gay!?"
Dorothy laughed a little, not sure if she was serious or not.
"I-I mean," Joyce continued, "Becky's really into science now, right? And, um, i-it's not like I know anything about that stuff, so..." She hesitated, watching Dorothy stand back up. "O-okay, how do you mean?"
"Tsk." Dorothy clucked her tongue good-naturedly as she helped Joyce up. "I just mean that we can figure this out. We can do little things, whatever we're both comfortable with. Whatever we feel safe doing. Maybe things won't work out, but that should be okay. Or maybe things will work out, and, um-" She lost her focus for a moment as, rather than let go of her hand, Joyce took her other hand, too, "-maybe that'd be okay, too?"
Joyce smiled warmly. "It... it sounds nice."
Dorothy glanced down at their hands. Was this happening too quickly? "I'm not, um, pressuring you, am I? We seriously don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with. And we can keep anything we do a secret, that's fi-"
"Shh, no." Joyce said, abruptly shushing her. "You're not pressuring me, geez. This is weird and different and-- and I never thought I'd be doing something like this. But I'm going to keep thinking about this whether I want to or not. So, yeah, you can't promise that everything will work out, but I still want to do this. If anything, I think I need to push myself?"
"Well, you're really good at that." Dorothy replied, squeezing Joyce's hands a little. "This wouldn't be happening if you weren't good at pushing yourself! ... I've always admired that about you, Joyce. Maybe that's one of the reasons I like you so much."
"Oh? So there's others, then?" Joyce asked, an eager glint in her eye.
"Weeeell... I do think you're pretty, too." Dorothy replied, smirking at the bashful reaction that got out of Joyce. She meant it, too, and that only made even more gears turn in her head. Just holding hands with Joyce like this, processing everything she was making her feel right now... sheesh, she could almost feel her Kinsey scale adjusting in real time!
"So," Joyce ventured, after she'd calmed down, "We-- we should do something, right?"
"Sure." Dorothy replied, trying not to sound too eager. "I'm definitely up for some, um, 'research'. What do you want to do?"
Joyce studied her carefully, contemplating.
"No rush." Dorothy assured her. "You've got me all night, after all."
Oops, that just made Joyce's face turn crimson again. "C-cartoons?" She abruptly suggested.
Dorothy chuckled. Cartoons. She should have guessed.
"Ms.Leslie recommended some shows the other day after class." Joyce explained, "I already wanted to watch them with you, but I think it'd be nice to watch them, um, like this?" She indicated their hands, tightly held.
Well, little steps, right? And it did sound nice. Dorothy smiled. "Sounds fun."
"A-and-" Joyce continued, somehow looking even more flustered, "Mmmmaybe we could... kiss? Just once! F-for science or whatever. Right?"
"Oh! Uh," Dorothy found herself caught off-guard. "I think that skips ahead a few steps."
"I-is that too forward?" Joyce asked, letting go of Dorothy's hands. "I-I'm sorry!"
"No, no! I'm just, um, impressed? If you want to, I don't mind. It'll make good data, right?"
"O-okay, so..." Joyce put her hands on Dorothy's shoulders and leaned in closer, giving Dorothy just enough time to process what was happening before Joyce kissed her. The shock faded quickly, and Dorothy gently pulled Joyce just a little closer, deepening the kiss that precious bit more and letting it drag on pleasantly.
It was several seconds before Joyce pulled away enough to break the kiss, leaving both of them smiling at each other like fools for a moment.
"Yep," Dorothy mused, still feeling a bit distant, "that's definitely skipping ahead a couple steps."
Joyce smiled sheepishly. "Eheh. Maybe I actually just needed a little encouragement?"
"Oh, I'm not complaining." Dorothy replied, starting to feel a lot more confident. The way she could feel her heart beating, the way everything was clicking into place... "Not a bad kiss at all." She declared.
"Hah." Joyce relaxed, letting herself embrace Dorothy more casually. "I guess you're not the first girl I've kissed, after all."
"Hey, it's important to gather plenty of data. That's just good research. Speaking of which..."
Joyce laughed softly. "So... I don't know if the science-talk is really working for me."
"Oh."
"But kissing you was very nice." She added, like it was the simplest statement she'd ever made. "I wouldn't mind making more discoveries like that."
And, well, how could Dorothy not kiss her again after that?