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It was 3 in the morning. Well, 3:12 to be exact. It was the time of night where the bed is too uncomfortable and being awake is unbearable but being asleep somehow seems worse. The light pink fan blew the hairs slightly off of Bucky’s forehead as he laid in his small twin-size bed. The blanket was hot and heavy on his legs, but he was unable to bring himself to move it. He found himself just lying there, feeling completely useless. The world feels different at 3am. Its quieter and it’s easier to think, in this new 3am world Bucky could find himself just lying in bed, looking at the celling and there was no one to judge him or call him lazy. His overdue assignments didn’t seem to matter as much as they did in the land of the awake. In the land of the awake there was so much more pressure. He had to be kind, he had to do his work, he had to be James. When he was alone in his dorm though, awake at 3am, he was allowed to just be Bucky. He was allowed to lay in bed and listen to the soft snores of his roommate who was fast asleep in the bed across the room.
His roommates name was Steve. Steve was small but was far from needing protection, well, that’s what Steve thinks. Bucky met Steve at the beginning of the school year because they were roommates. They quickly became friends. Steve was everything Bucky didn’t realize he needed. Steve was filled with as much passion as a 5’4 art major could have. For those who don’t know, that’s a lot.
He remembers walking into the small college dorm for the first time and taking it in. there was a closet, a bed, and a small desk on either side of the room, mirroring each other perfectly. He remembers looking to his side of the room. It was empty. The self above his desk seemed so much bigger then it is now. He remembers Steve’s side of the room. It was bright and full of life. The window on the back wall of the room was wide opened and the sun was shining in on Steve, was sitting on top of his desk with a sketchbook in hand, dark charcoal stained his clothing and his face. He was beautiful. All of Bucky’s worries about college and future seemed to fall away and he was filled with a new feeling. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it but it’s the same feeling he gets when he sees Steve’s smile, or when he sees Steve hang up a new art piece. It could be love.
As the seasons changed Bucky and Steve got close and closer. It didn’t even matter to Bucky that it was growing cold outside because he was inside his small dorm, warm with a friend like no other. What they had was special, it was unique. They were quickly established as best friends and some had wondered if they were more than that. More times than not, on nights like these, Bucky tended to wonder the same thing. Bucky had the best year possible with Steve and he was happy for that but as the snow melted, it seemed to be a reminder that summer was coming, and he would have to go home, and the dorm was no longer his and Steve’s home. Next year, it could go to a different pair of fresh faces and Bucky would be living somewhere else.
Bucky couldn’t help but feel himself growing nostalgic for the things him and Steve did together. He was scared things wouldn’t be the same after. Sure, him and Steve would continue to be friends, but they wouldn’t see each other every day. Bucky had worries that him and Steve were only really friends because they were roommates. Would they have even been friends if they weren’t roommates?
Bucky found himself laying in his bed om his side now. He didn’t remember moving but he didn’t mind it. He was looking at Steve now. Steve was sleeping so peacefully, he didn’t seem to worry so much. Steve was simple like that. He smiled when it was sunny and when it rained, he simply put his boots on and threw on a coat. There wasn’t much that could be done to stop Steve. Bucky liked that about Steve. He always had a reason to be smiling. Even when he was stuck in bed due to one of his many health issues. ‘at least its sunny’ Steve would joke, and if it was sunny ‘then it’s the perfect day to stay in and watch movies’.
God, Bucky had to stop thinking of Steve so much. His mouth was dry, and he should really get up and do something if he is going to be awake. He can’t bring himself to get up though. Maybe a glance at the time would put his mind at ease. Sometime had to have gone by, maybe the sun will start to come up and Bucky can head over to the gym or go for a shower. That would help. What’s another sleepless night?
Bucky grabbed his phone from under his pillow and looked at the time. There was one small detail that he had forgotten about the land of the asleep. Things moved slower. Like really slow. What had felt like three hours of thought had now just become two small minutes, 120 seconds, nothing but a moment. It was 3:14 in the morning and Bucky was beginning to think he should just get some sleep.