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Jeno is a newborn vampire, with an insatiable bloodlust. He’s any other traditional vampire out there: he gets drowsy in the morning, comes alive in the evening, and needs to feed on human blood to survive.
However, he didn’t think that being brought back from the dead had many cons: one of them is having to see his best friend, Jaemin, less . Due to his hunger, he couldn’t bring himself to come back to their shared apartment, without fearing he’ll murder the person he cares for so much.
He always comes home a few minutes before the sun rises, only to see Jaemin sleeping on the couch. Anyone can tell that he tried to stay up and wait for him, but it did not last long.
On the other hand, Jaemin felt helpless and wanted to do something for him. The only way he could help is by offering him his own blood, and it didn’t sound so much of a bad idea.
But to Jeno, it’s the last thing he’d do. He can’t bring himself to harm him like that.
So months go on like that, with Jeno distancing himself and Jaemin yearning for him even more. They can be compared to the sun and moon, with the way they try to adjust to each other but always failing. They never meet halfway anymore.
Jaemin cries to sleep every night, trying his best to keep his eyes open as he waits. Jeno opens the door to their shared apartment to hearing his best friend’s often shallow heartbeat, and it makes his dead heart feel some kind of pain he isn’t supposed to feel anymore. He always makes sure to embrace him in his slumber as soon as he cleans up, letting him know that he’s there, that he always makes sure to come home.
It used to be a bearable routine, until Jaemin can’t take it anymore.
He tries his best not to make himself obvious, as he follows Jeno to wherever he plans to go. If this is the only way he can really be with him—like all their past movie nights when they share one blanket and a bag of chips, then he’s going to take it.
Jeno eventually reaches an abandoned lot, with the edge of the area being the tip of the cliff. Even if Jaemin’s heart is beginning to weaken and ache, he still follows him there, hiding behind huge trees and attempting to camouflage to the darkness of the evening.
Jaemin watches Jeno jump off, and it’s like his heart is about to beat out of his chest at the panic that suddenly courses through him. He blows his cover at this moment, running out of his hiding place and catching up to the latter.
But his heart begins to constrict, telling him to stop before he feels more pain. Jaemin yelps at the feeling, almost falling to the ground from it. His breath is cut short.
Unbeknownst to him, just as Jeno begins feeding on corpses, he hears his heartbeat. His nose manages to catch his scent, and he becomes rational again. Jaemin’s here, he tells himself before consuming more blood. He’s making sure that he won’t let his vampiric senses take over and make him hurt his best friend.
The love of his life, he thinks wistfully as he drains a body of its blood. He wipes the red smeared across his face, but all it does is make his face look filthier, along with his clothes. He doesn’t want Jaemin to face him like this—not when he looks like a monster, someone he isn’t supposed to be.
But he knows better. He can feel Jaemin’s heart aching, from afar. He climbs back up with ease, his fingers sinking into the soil as he does so. The closer he gets, the more he can smell his blood, and it’s so intoxicating that it can make Jeno lose his mind.
He can growl at him, scare him off so he can go home. Yeah, he can do that.
Easier said than done.
As soon as he sees Jaemin’s face, Jeno’s usual brown orbs turn into the brightest red. He isn’t as human as he is, as he begins running towards him, like a hunter having its eyes on its prey.
Jaemin doesn’t run.
He lets himself be cornered against the branch of a tree, a hand wrapped around his neck, about to rid him of breathing. Jaemin closes his eyes and breathes in, trying to take as much air inside him as he can, ignoring the fact that Jeno is about to kill him.
He closes his eyes as he feels the hand closing in on his neck. Suddenly, the air he’s been saving in his lungs seems useless now. His heart is hurting more than ever. Jaemin still doesn’t scream for help, or resist. He lets Jeno torture him like this, because if this is the way he can be able to have more blood, then why not?
He’s willing to die, if it means he’s keeping him alive.
Jaemin loves Jeno, more than anything.
Jeno only realizes what he’s already doing when he sees tears pool in the corners of his eyes, and he feels Jaemin clutching onto his hand so gently, even if he is already killing him. His eyes widen in horror at what he’s doing.
In a shallow heartbeat, he uses his own free hand to leave a painful scratch on his own cheek. As the tips of his nails leave a gash on his skin, he screams and lets Jaemin go, leaving him to the ground and gasping for air.
“ Run, please.” Jeno begs, backing away from him. “You’re gonna get hurt with me.”
It takes a while for Jaemin to finally get up from the ground. His heartbeat is beginning to get weaker. “I’m staying here.”
“Jaemin, please go home—,”
“I’m not going home without you!” Jaemin yells in response, his fists clenched, tempted to punch Jeno’s face so he can get his point. “What’s the use of the fucking apartment we share when I don’t get to see you anyway?”
Jeno stills. He remembers holding Jaemin close when he sleeps, the moment he comes home. He remembers waking up as the sun sets, the latter still not home. He remembers smelling the food he makes before he falls asleep, not being able to find the stench delicious anymore, like before.
Jaemin’s words begin to haunt him at that very moment.
“You can drink my blood.” Jaemin bares his neck, tears streaming down his face. He just wants to help Jeno. It hurts him to see the latter cry while he satiates himself with blood, knowing the guilt that is coursing through his veins.
“I’m gonna kill you. Please—don’t do this.” Jeno’s emotions take over his hunger, thankfully. His hands are shaking, a sign that he is still hungry and needs more blood. And Jaemin is right in front of him but he doesn’t want to hurt the person he loves. He never wants to hurt him. “Just go home. Let me deal with this.”
Jeno pushes him away again, and it makes Jaemin say something he hasn’t said. Something he’s always buried deep in the smallest spaces of his heart.
“I’d die for you!”
And Jeno stops moving.
“I’d rather die, if it means keeping you alive.” Jaemin explains himself, the tears now making his vision blurry. He isn’t able to see the love and pain in his best friend’s eyes. “If consuming all of my blood is the only way, then kill me.”
It’s the first time, in seven years. For the first time, Jaemin becomes open about his feelings and exposes his heart.
At least, Jeno would know. It’s the best way to go.
As he is consumed with so much emotional stress, Jaemin loses the strength in his legs. Everything else in him shuts down. He collapses to the ground, his lips dry from dehydration and his cheeks stained with tears.
Jeno hears Jaemin’s heartbeat stop.
“JAEMIN!”
In the speed of lightning, he kneels over his best friend’s unconscious body, lifting him up with ease and getting him out of the secluded lot they are in.
His heartbeat returns, thankfully. But it’s almost inaudible, so weak, it makes Jeno panic.
Jaemin has had a problem with his heart, since they were kids. It was a congenital defect, making his pulse weaker than an average human being. If he’s put in too much stress, his heart would give up on him in a snap.
And that’s why Jeno is running while carrying him, trying to look for a hospital that can accommodate him. But unfortunately, a street accident happened nearby, and the hospitals are full.
It doesn’t make Jeno lose hope though. There’s a way for him to stay alive; there should be.
Left with not much options, he goes to the red light district of the city, still carrying Jaemin. His heartbeat isn’t doing so well.
By chance, he sees Jisung walking nearby. He calls for him in a broken voice. The younger looks up from his phone and removes an earbud, horror showing in his face upon seeing an unconscious Jaemin, his arm dangling. It looks like he’s already dead.
Jisung ends up bringing the two to a very shady tattoo parlor. He opens the door for the both of them, and there is Ten, already fixing his equipment and about to call it a day.
“Jeno, what are you—,”
“Jaemin, his heartbeat, I can barely hear it please help me I don’t know what to do if I lose him please save him please do what you can I don’t want him to die like this—,”
Ten shushes him by placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, his usually playful expression now full of seriousness. “I’ll check on his vitals first, and I’ll see what I can do. I won’t promise anything.”
Ten turns to a panicky Jisung. “Jisung, bring Jeno to our lounge and calm him down.”
Jisung nods and follows his orders, bringing a paranoid Jeno with him to the stairs, going to the lounge.
Jeno can’t help but look back, see his beloved now laid out in a bed. He wants to do something, but nothing is coming to mind.
Except for one thing. He wants to turn time back.
A few hours pass, and when Ten enters the lounge, with an expression that screams anything but relief, Jeno knew.
He didn’t need to hear the words from him. He runs past Ten and goes back down, to where Jaemin is now covered with a white blanket.
He should have seen it coming. Jeno doesn’t hear his heartbeat anymore. With that, he screams in agony, can’t even bring himself to get close to the body of his best friend.
Jaemin’s gone, he tells himself.
He’s gone.
He isn’t coming back.
You did this.
Jeno tries to run away, as he always does from every single problem presented in front of him, until he hears Ten’s voice amidst losing his mind from the loss. His arms are crossed, his facial expression screaming uncertainty, and a little bit if hope.
“You can bring Jaemin back from the dead, by turning him into one of us.” He suggests.
“I don’t want to do that!” Jeno screams, and he falls on his knees, looking at the blanket covering Jaemin. “I can’t be unfair to him like that.”
Ten sighs. “Either that, or you live forever without the love of your life and suffer. Easy as that.”
“You only have three days to decide, before his body begins to decompose.”
Jeno doesn’t mind what Ten says. He continues to cry over losing Jaemin, the person closest to his heart. He attempts to hurt himself, scratch at his skin with so much force that he can feel his nails touching the inner parts of his body.
But they’ll all heal. He is a vampire, after all. So he chooses to hurt over smelling death and hearing his own wretched sobs as Jaemin lies there, quiet. Dead.
*
Day 1
Jeno cannot bring himself to get close to his corpse. He can’t, really. His heart is aching knowing that Jaemin’s last words is about him offering his life, and telling him he loves him.
It hurts knowing that the last time he’s ever seen Jaemin alive is when he’s crying. He made him cry that much. Jeno can’t forgive himself for that.
So he stays in the lounge the entire time, even sleeping there, haunted that he can’t hear his beloved’s heartbeat. No more. He wallows in his own sadness.
And in his dreams, Jaemin visits him with a loving smile on his face. Pale skin. Shiny pink lips. He is sitting amongst the many flowers in the meadow, seemingly looking up at him.
Jeno wakes up from that momentary sweet dream. It’s evening again. He cries even harder.
*
Day 2
“Jaemin looks really pretty.” Ten tells him out of nowhere, as Jeno feels his stomach begin to grumble, craving for blood. “What more if he becomes a vampire? He’d be ethereal.”
He knows that what Ten is saying is supposed to give him a push into turning him into one of them, but he still refuses. and it’s not like Jeno fell for him because he was just a pretty face.
If asked, he can write an entire novel on how he grew to love Jaemin through the years, to be honest. No one can even ask and he’d still do it, anyway.
After grabbing some guts, he gets out of the lounge. He can’t help but look at the covered corpse of his beloved.
Deep inside, Jeno wants to know if he died having any regrets.
So he approaches his lying figure, his fingers clutching onto the white cloth covering him. Jeno can still smell the blood flowing in Jaemin, but since he’s been dead for two days, it smells a bit off now.
Pushing the thought of blood away, he pushes a portion of the cloth.
The sight makes him want to shatter.
There is Jaemin, lying on the bed, with his eyes closed. the curls on the corners of his lips are telling him that Jaemin smiled upon his last breath.
Jeno goes back up the lounge again like a coward, making it his cave and wallowing in there for the nth time. More tears are shed knowing that the subtle smile on his lips means nothing now. He’s dead.
Unless you bring him back from the dead.
Jeno falls deep into slumber with that thought. He dreams of Jaemin, now a newborn vampire, holding his hand while looking at the night sky.
*
Day 3
Jeno isn’t entirely sure if Jaemin wants this, but he does. Hereally does. He wants to see him breathing again, smiling, cooking—
Wait, if Jaemin ever returns, he won’t be the same anymore. He won’t be digesting his death drink like before. He won’t be cooking food for himself. He won’t be binge-eating potato chips in their movie nights.
He’ll be just as thirsty for blood, his eyes red as he looks for a new victim.
Maybe he’ll be angry knowing that Jeno turned him too, and rid him of the peace that comes in death. Maybe he’ll run away and stay somewhere far so they won’t ever meet again.
But he remembers a conversation they used to have, when they asked together the most absurd questions.
One of them is what would they do if they became vampires.
“I’d save all the money I accumulated and travel the world!” Jeno exclaims with his arms spread out, almost making his cup of hot chocolate spill all over the table.
Jaemin keeps it from falling, and he scolds him for being not so careful, as always. But they get back in the conversation quickly, as the younger shares what he would do.
“If I have no one to be with on my immortal life, then what’s the point?”
“What are you talking about? You won’t die! Isn’t that awesome.”
“I’d rather die with the people I love than live and be lonely.” Jaemin states, holding a pillow close to himself. “I want someone to share the immortality with.”
Jeno raises an eyebrow, unconsciously massaging Jaemin’s legs with both of his hands just because. “So if you turn first, would you bite me so you won’t be alone?”
“If you want to.” Jaemin replies.
“Of course I’d want to!” Jeno excitedly tells him, bringing Jaemin into a tight embrace. The pink is evident in his cheeks as he runs his fingers through the latter’s hair as he murmurs, “I’d want to spend forever with you.”
And this is what motivates Jeno to go back down, and finally do something right. For sure, he has venom—he has never used it on anyone yet.
Ten did say that a vampire can only turn someone once with their venom, so he has to save someone wisely.
Jeno knows it’s not so wise to be carried away by his emotions, and he doesn’t know of what will come out of this action, but he wants Jaemin to be able to live. He wants him to live a life without having to worry about putting too much stress on his heart, or having to adhere to health precautions.
He wants to spend forever with Jaemin.
So he carries Jaemin off of the bed and makes his side lay against him, his neck very much exposed for Jeno to leave a bite on.
“I’m sorry, Jaemin. I love you.” It’s what Jeno says before he sinks his teeth onto his neck, feeling the venom from his system pass onto the veins, arteries, and capillaries of the other in a rapid pace.
Jeno, fortunately, is able to stop himself from going too far. He pulls away the moment he feels full, and sees the changes occurring. The venom does things to Jaemin’s body, such as the veins colored in violet, about to pop out of his skin.
Jeno kisses his forehead, tears running down his face for the nth time. “I’ll make sure I’m the first one you’ll see the moment you wake up, okay? I love you, Nana. With all my heart.”
After a while, Jaemin begins to jerk around, like he’s being electrocuted. He doesn’t make a sound from the ache that his body is going through, but he can hear his heartbeat again. It’s just quicker now.
He knows that when he fully becomes a vampire, his heart will stop beating. So as Jaemin is turning, Jeno attempts to remember the sound and the rhythm of his heartbeat, not wanting to forget it.
A few hours pass, and Jeno falls asleep upon feeling the sun creeping from the door. He lies on the floor while holding a still trembling Jaemin close. His rapid heartbeat is now slowing down.
He holds Jaemin’s still shaking hand the moment he succumbs to the melatonin running through him, squeezing it in the gentlest manner.
Jeno’s train of thought is still consumed by sleep when he feels a palm on his cheek. So gentle, loving, careful. He leans into the touch, subconsciously pulling Jaemin close by the waist.
The hand now moves to his hair, running its fingers through his dark locks carefully. Jeno wonders who is doing this.
Unless Jaemin is now awake.
He slowly opens his eyes, and the first thing he sees is Jaemin grinning at him, very much alive. Pale skin. Shiny pink lips. His warm hands through his hair, snuggling against him.
He looks like he is the Jaemin from his dreams for the past few days. Is this real?
“Jaem?”
“Hi.” Jaemin greets him, sounding like the air got knocked out of his lungs in a good way. He doesn’t sound like he needs to catch his breath anymore, like before. His dysfunctional heart doesn’t ring in Jeno’s ears anymore. He sounds livelier, happier.
“Is this real?” Jeno asks, completely dumbfounded.
Ten was right when he said that if Jaemin were a vampire, he’d look ethereal. He is breathtaking, a feast for the eyes. His glow is unexplainable; he looks much prettier, softer than before.
But it doesn’t matter that much, anyway. Jaemin’s always been pretty in Jeno’s eyes.
“Yes, and I’m really hungry.” Jaemin pouts. “But before we hunt, I’ve been wanting to do something.”
“What is it?”
Jaemin leans close to Jeno’s face, closing the distance between them. The latter feels his lips against his own; they’re softer, no longer chapped. He feels electricity down his spine, making him shiver. He ends up wanting more.
But he knows better than to keep it going. He pulls away before things can get too intense, and he sees the pout in Jaemin’s face deepen.
“Stop pouting, I’ll kiss you more later. You need something to eat.”
“Someone, you mean.” Jaemin deadpans.
“Whatever.”
Jeno gets up from the cold floor, and helps Jaemin up afterwards. Not hearing his heartbeat anymore is bothersome, but he thinks that perhaps it’s better off this way.
It’s nice, no longer being able to hear the once odd pulse in Jaemin. At least he isn’t sick anymore.
Out of nowhere, while gawking at a newly turned Jaemin, Jeno can’t help but spill it out. “I love you, Na Jaemin.”
At least he has forever to say it now.
Jaemin grins at him, leaving a peck on his lips and grabbing both of his hands. “I love you.”
“Let’s go.”
And with that, they get out of the tattoo parlor, hands intertwined.
Living forever doesn’t seem so bad anymore.