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This was becoming a regular thing with them now.
Shouta would show up at Toshinori’s dorm apartment, not that Toshinori had anything against it. Not at all. In fact, it was the part he looked forward to the most during the day. But with how much time Shouta spent here, rather than in his own apartment, it would be better for them both if he just moved in. Or Toshinori could move in with Shouta. It was only down the hall, not really that big of a move.
It was less lonely this way.
Toshinori never knew that having someone else’s presence could make his house feel so warm and, well, complete; especially when that someone else was dear to him. Even more so when Shouta offered to make dinner for them.
Toshinori was willing to help with the preparations, but Shouta told him to “never mind that” before he went to work. He found himself watching what was going on in the kitchen more than the television which was playing some mindless gameshow. How could he not mind when there was a cute guy in his kitchen, looking even cuter while wearing an apron with his hair tied up?
He speculated (though he might actually ask this at one point) that Shouta genuinely enjoyed taking care of him. Including doing all the domestic things such as making dinner (as he was doing so now) and even doing his laundry for him the other day (and everything had been neatly folded or otherwise stored correctly).
The next moment he turned his gaze away from the TV to the kitchen, he caught Shouta’s fleeting glance. A small smirk formed on the other's lips as he worked his knife on the cutting board. It sent Toshinori’s heart fluttering and a heat spread over his cheeks in that moment. He really did not deserve this man.
It really was kind of crazy how things ended up this way.
Toshinori had crossed paths with this man some time ago and, against his better judgement at the time, allowed himself to get attached; however, he had to abandon it not soon after without a decent explanation. For Shouta’s sake…
Since he started teaching alongside him, Toshinori never thought Shouta would ever regard him as anything more than just a colleague. The dark-haired man actually despised him from the start, for good reason.
Now here they were again; starting over from the very beginning, going through the motions as they should have done. Learning to love. And that same man who despised him was now standing in his kitchen making him dinner because he wanted to.
Shouta…
“Hm?” The other responded, pausing in the middle of his action to cast another glance over his shoulder.
Toshinori hadn’t realized he had said the other’s name aloud amidst his thoughtful reflection and felt the heat rising in his face once again, “N-Nothing!”
“Well, as you might have seen, I'm giving you my portion of cucumber,” Shouta informed him while returning his attention to the stove.
“Alright,” he smiled in response. Truthfully speaking, he wasn’t even paying attention to what the other was doing, rather he was just watching his face. He should probably cool it with the staring.
He proceeded to return his attention to the TV, or at least pretend that he was watching, as he was still dwelling on the past. Just like an old man.
One day… He thought, his hand finding his left side subconsciously.
One day he would tell Shouta the truth. The /whole/ truth. He deserved that much after what happened the last time. He knew he could trust this man with a secret that bore so much weight. It just had to be the right time…
“Your age finally catching up to you?” Shouta's voice asked from right beside him, catching him off guard for a moment. “You're staring off into space again…”
“You know, back in the day, they used to call me The Youthful Hero, All Might,” Toshinori said with a short laugh to cover up his initial surprise.
Shouta just rolled his eyes at him before capturing that smile of his in a single kiss.
“Well Mr. Youthful Hero, your dinner is ready,” Shouta informed him once their lips parted. He stood up straight with a playful glint in his eye. "Don't want you to spoil your appetite."
Toshinori got to his feet and rounded the couch, coming in awfully close to the dark-haired man who stood his ground, simply looking up at him. "Well you know how the saying goes: Life's too short, dessert first!"
Shouta held up a hand to stop him before he could act, already predicting what would happen. "Spoiled..." He muttered, turning away.
Perhaps he was indeed spoiled, Toshinori thought as he watched the other's backside sauntering into the kitchen, clad in the only color he really owned- black.
Dinner had passed and Toshinori insisted that Shouta didn’t have to clean the kitchen, but there was simply no telling that man what to do when his mind was already made up. He eventually managed to get Shouta out of his house while he finished washing the dishes.
It was now later in the evening when Toshinori stole away to his bedroom.
He had taken off his shirt in order to trade his current clothes for something a bit more comfortable. He hadn't realized he was being watched until he caught a glimpse of Shouta in the full length mirror. The other was leaning against the open doorway in a cat printed sweater and pink lounge pants, not at all hiding his rather intent gaze.
Toshinori could feel the heat of embarrassment rising in his cheeks as the initial shock stopped him halfway through rifling through the drawer.
After many years of living alone, he was so used to leaving doors open out of habit. He thought Shouta would be gone to his own apartment a bit longer so he could change, but it seemed that Shouta was eager to spend the rest of the evening with him.
But what was even more mortifying was that the secret he was trying to keep under wraps was now out in the open. Truly fortuitous timing…
“How did you get it?” Shouta questioned.
“Oh, this?” Toshinori responded in a casual tone as if he was bringing up the weather, turning back to the open drawer to pick up the shirt from the top of the neatly folded stack within. “It’s nothing… Looks kinda gross doesn't it?”
Toshinori sighed while pushing the drawer shut. “I was so careless…”
Whether he was referring to the incident in which he received the massive scar on his left side, or that he let Shouta see it so soon without being prepared to explain it, he wasn't sure.
For now, he was purposefully trying to be vague to buy himself time to force his mind into making a decision as Shouta closed the gap between them, curious yet cautious.
Should he tell him the truth now? Or should he tell a few lies and wait for a better time? Well Shouta has already seen it, so when will it be a better time?
He was about to pull the shirt on over his head when his side was met by a warm touch. On instinct he flinched and Shouta quickly withdrew his hand.
“Sorry- I shouldn't have-” The dark-haired man stammered quickly.
“Don't be! I just wasn't expecting it is all!” Toshinori assured him frantically, waving his hands. “It doesn't hurt at all, I promise!”
Toshinori wasn't sure if he was succeeding in actually reassuring Shouta or not by how he averted his gaze from him with uncertainty. He reached out for the hand Shouta held close to himself, as if it had been burned.
“I admit, I was trying to keep you from seeing this for as long as possible. And with the way things were going between us, you'd probably see it sooner or later, although, truthfully, I was hoping it'd be under different circumstances…” Toshinori received a quizzical look from the dark-haired man before him.
“Well…you know…” He added now feeling a bit embarrassed by what he let slip out just now, casting a sideways glance in the direction of the bed.
“There's no reason for you to hide your scars from me, Toshinori,” Shouta told him with a near chiding tone in his voice.
“Yeah, I know…” He agreed sheepishly, shying away from the other's scolding eyes. He knew it was foolish to begin with.
“They're apart of you,” Shouta said, moving to press a gentle hand against the scarred flesh that riddled his left side. “No matter how you got them, no matter how gruesome you think they might look. It's you.”
There wasn't a way for Toshinori to possibly express just how relieved he was to hear those words come from the man he loved. His chest was threatening to burst as Shouta lovingly embraced him.
Thank you. It was all he could muster while returning the embrace.
With his stubble dusted cheek pressed against the other's bare chest, there was no doubt that Shouta could hear his heart racing under his skin. It was reassuring to know that the blond man in his arms was just as excited as he was. Their erratic pulses matched.
“Actually…” Toshinori began softly, moving away from him only a fraction. Shouta was met by a set of intent blue eyes staring down at him. “There's something I want to tell you, Shouta…”
A big hand, warm and gentle, took hold of his and lead him across the dimly lit room, guiding him to the bedside where Toshinori made some space for them amongst the plethora of pillows that filled the expanse of his bed.
Really…were all these pillows necessary? He picked one up and tossed it aside before taking the other up on the invitation to sit down beside him.
They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity for Toshinori as he tried to figure out how to begin to say what he wanted to. In the midst of it, Shouta had taken his idle hand into his once more.
“I will say, this won’t be easy,” the blond cautioned the other man, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “This is something I should have told you years ago…”
“You don’t have to censor it for my sake,” Shouta assured him. The truth was better off as it was: raw and unadulterated.
Toshinori proceeded to relate the story of what brought about the beginning of the end to the number one hero in the world: All Might.
The whole truth behind how he received the scar on his left side and the bastard that gave it to him. His act of heroism, the events that were forever etched into both the metaphorical and literal fabric of his being, which continued to haunt him. How the surgeries took their toll on him. The true reasons why he left Shouta all those years ago…
"…So you see, even though our relationship then was nothing more than physical I couldn't let you get involved in my mess. If they ever figured out what you were to me, they would have come after you too," he said, the two of them now staring down at the floor at nothing in particular. "I couldn’t risk losing you. I couldn't bear the thought of it… You had your whole career ahead of you, not to mention becoming an amazing teacher and guiding the next generation of heroes."
Shouta hummed in a sort of amused response to being called an amazing teacher. He wasn't that great, if he was being honest.
"I still regret not meeting you face-to-face in order to call things off. I know I took the cowards way out, but to be honest…" Toshinori paused briefly. "I didn't want to see the heartbreak in your eyes as I did so. I wanted to remember you as you were...but it made it no less difficult in the end. At least then I knew that you would live to hate me another day…"
"I disliked you for different reasons, too, you know," Shouta reminded him.
"Right, I almost forgot how you dislike flashy heroes, media darlings, and basically the pretty ones who are always in the spotlight," he said, attempting to lighten the mood with a soft chuckle. "Guess we weren't meant to be after all."
"Guess not…" Shouta murmured in agreement, resting his head against the other's shoulder.
Yet here they were, only growing closer to one another while foraging a new bond that Toshinori will never break as long as he lives. He pressed a kiss to the back of the callused hand he held in the silence that ensued.
From here, Shouta was free to do as he pleased; although he remained by his side, his expression was unreadable. Toshinori couldn't blame him if he left now. Anyone would be overwhelmed by such heavy information and it would take a while to process everything.
He felt exhausted from relaying all this, but the burden didn't seem as great as it did before he finally made up his mind to tell him the truth. He trusted Shouta with his life. Just as he trusted the pillows to not fully consume him as he sprawled out on his back with a tired sigh. It wasn't soon after that Shouta followed, embracing him once again, nestling his face between his neck and collarbone.
"Sorry you had to go through that…"
"Sorry to dump all this on you in one go…"
Shouta gave a slight shrug in response. That's just how life was sometimes, he understood that much. He didn't know how Toshinori could carry this weight around with him and still manage to smile and be as bright as ever, as if nothing was wrong.
He remained there for a while longer, laying in Toshinori's arms, inhaling that ever familiar scent of warm skin that carried the faintest note of mint that had become such a comfort to him.
This man didn't deserve what had happened to him, and he was only doing what he thought was best at the time in order to shield him, a young hero at the time, from just how cruel reality could be.
"I love you Shouta," Toshinori said softly to him. "For five years I’ve done so. I can only hope to continue to do so for as long as you will have me…"
"Don't say stuff like that…" Shouta murmured in response, the heat from those words burning in his face.
Shouta moved a few moments later and, with a little help from a pair of persuading hands, settled his weight over the other's bony hips, cautiously as he felt he might break Toshinori. He looked down at him, his smile as radiant as ever while pressing another kiss to the palm of his hand before guiding his hand to his left side, to pick up where he left off.