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Matteo sat on the couch, watching everyone else having fun at the party, the red light blurring their features. He took a swing of his beer when actually, he hated the taste of it. But it was for free, so he wouldn't complain.
He didn't know half of the people who were in the flat right now so they were probably from the Abistreich group. Kiki and Sam stood near the door and welcomed Markus who tried to hug both of them, which they evaded. Matteo started to peel the label off his bottle.
“Hi.” Matteo looked away from Kiki and Sam and found Sara standing in front of him. He inhaled deeply.
“Hey.”
She looked at him uncertainly, biting her lip. Matteo stared at her. They hadn't spoken all week – which was easy with no more lessons to attend – and honestly, he hadn't missed it. At least he hadn't needed to come up with excuses anymore. He had even assumed that it was over between them. But apparently shit wasn't that easy.
Sara hesitated a moment longer before she sat down next to him. She looked at him with big eyes. Matteo avoided them and looked down at his lap, peeling off more of the label.
“How are you?” Sara asked, her voice soft even when she spoke louder to be heard over the music. Matteo inhaled again. He was about to shrug when Kiki's voice welcoming someone new made him look up across the room and there he found David, standing insecurely next to the two girls, a shy smile on his lips. Fuck. He had forgotten David was actually part of the Abistreich group and would be here too. “Matteo?”
He tore himself away and looked over at Sara, who had her eyebrows raised in silent question.
“Oh, uhhh, yeah ok,” he muttered, ripping the label off the bottle and dropping it on the floor. “You?”
“Well,” she said, the smallest sigh escaping her. “I'm a bit sad I had to drink the sparkling wine all by myself last week.” Matteo knew she tried to come across as joking, like it hadn't affected her, but her face told a different story.
“Yeah I'm sorry,” he replied and realized that this was also the last thing he had texted her. Great start. He let his eyes wander across the room again and found Leonie watching them with a disapproving look on her face, only for David to start talking to her just then. Matteo's heart sunk a little.
“It's just that... I had looked forward to the evening so much,” Sara explained, turning more towards Matteo. “And to make it all worse you lied to me...” She dropped her chin to her chest, her hair falling like a curtain around her face.
“I'm sorry,” Matteo repeated, peeling off the second label of his bottle as he stared at it.
“I just kept wondering why you couldn't tell me the truth,” she muttered, almost inaudible over the music. Matteo chewed on the inside of his lip, wondering where this would go. He glanced over at David and he knew he was behaving like an asshole, but this whole thing was fucked up. He didn't know how to tell her.
“Sara, I...” he started and looked at her and saw that her eyes grew wide in hopeful anticipation for what he was about to say. “I just had a lot of stress with my mom.” Best to keep to one lie.
“Oh,” Sara said, her face falling. “Okay. But... you could've told me.”
Matteo didn't want to apologize a third time so he just shrugged his shoulders instead.
“Maybe we can do something this weekend? Cinema, maybe?” Sara continued and Matteo had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at her.
“I'm busy,” he replied and, noticing how the corners of Sara's mouth dropped, added, “Studying.”
Sara didn't miss a beat. “We could study together!” she said more cheerfully than he had seen her in like two weeks. God fuck, could she not take a hint? Matteo ran a hand through his hair and stared at the other side of the room for a second where, conveniently, David stood. Matteo witnessed how he, too, looked extremely uncomfortable as Leonie leaned close to speak to him, one of her hands on the side of his abdomen, and his heart did a little jump. Maybe he hadn't imagined things after all. He allowed himself one last moment to gaze at David before he looked back at Sara.
“I'm meeting with the boys.”
“Oh.” Sara played with her fingernails, visibly crestfallen. “Maybe after? You can't study the whole weekend.”
Matteo dropped his head for a moment and let the air fizzle out between his lips. He contemplated just opening the window behind the couch and jumping out. But then he'd probably break his leg or something and Sara would insist on coming over and tending to him or whatever. So, not an option.
“Maybe,” he finally uttered back, raising his head again, as a new song came on. He was sick and tired of lying to her but he really didn't know how to go about telling her the truth. So instead of committing, he just did nothing.
“Okay!” Sara bubbled and grabbed his hand before she stood up, trying to pull him along. “Come on!”
Matteo looked up at her and took another deep breath and put his beer bottle down on the window sill before allowing Sara to yank him from the sofa. He stumbled into her arms which, honestly, was too much contact right now. But then she pulled him even closer and crossed her arms behind his neck, forcing them to dance body to body. At least this way he didn't have to meet her eye.
He looked over at David instead.
Shine on, diamond
Don't make me wait another day
Leonie held David in a similar embrace, her head on his chest even though this wasn't a song to slow dance to. Matteo had his hands on the side of Sara hips which she swayed in tune with the song, bumping against him every so often.
Now, let's stop running from love
Running from love
Let's stop, my baby
He felt the heat rise to the surface of his skin as he kept watching David, wishing it was him instead of Leonie in his arms, their bodies pressed against each other. He sunk his fingers into the fabric of Sara's shirt, imagining it was David's skin he felt underneath, imagining it was David's hands that rested on the sides of his neck.
Oh my, my, my
I die every night with you
And as if David had sensed that Matteo was watching him, he finally met his eye. Matteo's mouth fell open and he gulped, hard, his mouth suddenly dry. It felt like everything in his life had lead up to this exact moment, to their eyes meeting across the dance floor, amplifying every sound, feeling, color around them.
“Sorry, I gotta go,” Matteo muttered and broke free of Sara's embrace. Her eyebrows were drawn together sadly, but he couldn't stay here a second longer. He squeezed past the dancing bodies and went over to his room, fishing the key out of his pocket to unlock the door. Once he was inside, he leaned against it.
His heartbeat sounded like drums in his ears, louder than the music that came muffled through his door from the living room, and he felt the adrenaline rushing through his veins. He needed something to calm him down.
He pushed away from the door and went over to his armchair, plopping down on it, and grabbed his tobacco pouch from the couch table along with his grinder. He put some new weed into it and ground it up before he took a rolling paper and placed it on the table along with a filter. He had just begun to sprinkle the weed onto the paper when suddenly, the music became deafening again and he looked up to find what had happened.
David stood in his door, an uncertain look in his eyes as he looked at Matteo.
“Come in and close the door,” Matteo shouted to be heard and David did as he was told. Matteo exhaled, relieved that it was quieter again, only to realize that David stood in his room, like, actually stood in his room. He saw that David was biting his lip, still standing by the door and looking around the room.
“Sorry, I...” he started but fell silent. “I didn't mean to intrude.”
Matteo couldn't stop the smile that tugged on the corner of his mouth. “It's fine,” he replied nonchalantly. He gestured to his bed for David to sit on because him still standing there, watching him, made Matteo kinda nervous. David hesitated for a moment longer before he set into motion and Matteo watched as he pulled out the chair from his desk instead to sit down on, before he got back to rolling his joint.
They sat in silence. It reminded Matteo of last Friday when they had met in the bus, staring at each other, neither of them saying a word for a minute or two. While that had been awkward, this felt more comfortable. Suddenly, Matteo remembered something they had talked about last week.
“I could show you how far I got with the game now,” he suggested, letting the question hang in the air as he picked up the joint to roll it up. As he licked the paper to glue it together, he looked over at David, who was looking at him as well.
“Oh,” he said, running his hand over the back of his neck. “I.. uhm... sure.”
Matteo surveyed David for a moment as he put the joint between his lips. David had left last week after Matteo had suggested the same, something that had caused him to spend the remaining weekend alone in his room because he couldn't figure out what he had done wrong. But David didn't look like he was about to bolt again, which calmed Matteo down considerably.
Getting up, he grabbed his laptop from his bedside table, put it down on the bed and started it, before he rounded the desk to open his window to smoke. He held out the joint to David after his first two drags, and he came over to the window.
Without effort, they fell back into the same easy-going conversation like last week, both of them smiling and laughing at jokes and funny stories that the other one told. Matteo's heart ached at the pure want for this, every minute of every day, and something more. But at last, Matteo took the final drag from the joint and threw the bud out of the window.
Without warning, the door to Matteo's room opened again and Sara poked her head inside. Matteo hoped she hadn't seen him rolling his eyes at her.
“What are you doing?” she called, still half in the door.
“Smoking,” Matteo said in the exact same moment that David said, “Playing Zelda.”
Sara eyed both of them, her eyebrows knitted in confusion before Leonie's head appeared next to her. Matteo couldn't really understand what she said to Sara, and he didn't really care to be completely honest. So when Leonie pulled Sara away and closed the door, Matteo couldn't really hide his relief. Yet when he looked back at David, he saw that the smile which had lit up his face not even a minute ago had been replaced with a downcast expression.
“You shouldn't treat your girlfriend like that,” David muttered, still looking down at his hands in his lap. Matteo did a double-take.
“We're not together,” he spluttered and then added, catching himself, “Well, I don't know. It's... shitty.”
At this, David finally looked up again and Matteo noticed that his expression had changed yet against to something like... hope? He couldn't tear his eyes away.
“Uh, should we play?” David finally whispered, clearing his throat, and Matteo shook his head to clear his thoughts, humming in agreement. Together, they settled on the bed and Matteo started his emulator.
They played together for God knows how long when suddenly they were startled by the lack of music. Matteo looked over at David, who had the same clueless look on his face, and stood up to check out what happened. He heard the covers rustle behind him as David got up too and together they discovered that the party was over when Matteo opened his door.
“Matteo, can you help tidying up?” Linn asked as she picked up empty bottles of beer. Matteo glanced at the clock on the wall; it was 1:18 a.m.
“Sorry, we're leaving too,” Matteo replied, not thinking twice. He looked at David over his shoulder and felt for a second like there was no air in the room, thrown by how close they were standing. He could almost feel the heat radiating off of David standing behind him.
“Where are we going?” David whispered back.
“Just out.”
Matteo didn't want to lose any more time, so he went back inside his room and picked up his jacket, scarf and beanie, dumping his tobacco pouch in the pocket of his jacket, before he made his way to the hallway with David, where he, too, put on his clothes. When they had slipped into their shoes, they hurried down the stairs and onto the street, coming to a halt on the sidewalk.
“Fuck tidying up,” Matteo laughed, slightly out of breath. David laughed along, looking up at the windows of their flat.
After a beat he asked, “Where are we going, though?”
Matteo looked at him with a smirk. “Sightseeing.”
*
“Matteo, I have seen the Siegessäule. It's literally on my way to and from school,” David said when they stopped on the sidewalk outside the roundabout.
“But have you ever been up on the viewing platform?” he asked in return, raising on eyebrow. David mirrored him in disbelieve.
“Matteo, it's the middle of the night.”
“Yeah, just kidding,” Matteo giggled. “But hey, did you know it used to stand at the end of the Siegesallee?”
David looked away from the monument and at Matteo. “No. Why do you, though?”
Matteo licked his lips in embarrassment, raising his eyebrows. “My mom is kind of obsessed with Berlin's history.”
“Ahhh,” David said, pretending to be impressed. Matteo shoved him with his shoulder, both of them laughing.
“Why do you think I'd give you a sightseeing tour if I didn't know shit?” Matteo asked, to which David just raised his shoulders with a tiny How would I know shake of his head. Matteo jerked his chin in the direction to their left. “Come on.”
Side by side, they went down the street to the next sight, which was Palace Bellevue.
“That's where the Bundespräsident resides, right?” David said, taking in the view. At night, the white facade stood out in stark contrast to the orange-black sky, the flags on the poles in front of it hanging almost completely still.
“Yeah. It was built in 1785 and 1786 and was the first neoclassical building in Germany,” Matteo explained, looking at the building as well. David turned towards Matteo.
“I know you mentioned your mom but how do you remember all this stuff?” he asked, his eyes bright with admiration, making Matteo feel shy all of a sudden.
“My mom used to do this with me all the time when I was a kid. Every Sunday we'd take a stroll through a different district of Berlin and she'd tell me something new every time,” he revealed nonetheless, following the feeling like he could tell David anything. He doubted anyone besides Jonas knew this about his mom. Well, and now David.
“That's so cool,” David whispered with the ghost of a smile playing on his lips, pulling down his beanie so it covered his ears more. Matteo thought back to last weekend, when he had worn it pretty much without pause. God, this was hopeless. He was too far gone. But he shoved the thought aside and followed the street in the direction of the Pariser Platz, David never leaving his side. He was pretty happy to have him here, because you didn't want to cross the Tiergarten in the middle of the night alone. Or just the middle of the night, period.
After about twenty minutes, they reached the square in front of the Brandenburg Gate. Even at this time of the day, there were many people crossing the square, hurrying from one side to the other or taking pics of the gate.
“Really?” David asked and raised one eyebrow at Matteo who just shrugged.
“It's iconic.”
“And overrated.”
Matteo gasped at David in faked offense. “Napoleon didn't think so when he took the quadriga with him to Paris in 1806.”
“He did?” David marveled, and Matteo nodded.
“Yeah. He took it as a victory trophy and wanted to use it in Paris but that never happened. The Prussians brought it back to Berlin in 1814.”
“Ich feier dich grad,” David bubbled, laughing, and Matteo felt like it was last Friday again after he had told David about his emulator. He smiled to himself, lowering his head. “No but seriously, this is fascinating. History lessons should be like this every once in a while.”
“Eh, I don't know,” Matteo deflected the compliment, feeling his heart racing. He wondered if it would ever stop doing that when David complimented him. He was pretty sure it wouldn't.
“Is there anything more you know about it?” David asked, peering up at the quadriga on top of the gate, the Prussian eagle rising into the night sky. Matteo's mouth fell open. When he didn't continue, David looked over at him with raised eyebrows. “So?”
Matteo pulled himself together and began to tell David everything he could remember about the Brandenburg Gate, starting from its construction, throwing in little tidbits here and there, laying out its history throughout the two world wars, the cold war, up until the most recent history. David kept asking questions, and Matteo was surprised he knew an answer to most of them. But then, he felt how his legs started to tingle from the cold and realized that they must've stood here for at least quarter of an hour.
“Fuck it's cold,” he remarked, slinging his arms around himself. He was glad he had taken his scarf and hat with him. David nodded in agreement.
“Is there somewhere we could warm up?” he asked, and Matteo looked around. He never came to Mitte anymore, so he was a bit lost.
“Let's look for a kebab shop.”
David didn't object so they set off. Walking warmed them up a bit, but as they walked along the streets they found that all of the shops were closed already.
“Fuck Mitte,” Matteo muttered. “Just a bunch of pretentious restaurants and bars for cocky Top 1% assholes.” David's eyes widened at this wave of profanities but Matteo just shrugged when he saw David's reaction. “It's true.”
“Well,” David started, his voice cautious. “I know a pub on the north side of the Spree, not far from here. I think it should still be open.”
Matteo grimaced at him in amused confusion. “How do you know any pubs here?”
“Does it matter?” he asked in return and Matteo shrugged approvingly. So they walked back in the opposite direction, Matteo following David's lead for the first time this night. It wasn't far though before they stood in front of the pub.
The outside was low-key, just a simple sign above the door with the name of the pub and a luminous beer advertisement. In they went.
Warmth. And chatter. And the smell of food. Suddenly, Matteo realized how hungry he was. David spotted a free table at one of the windows and they went over to sit down, taking off their layers.
“You know what, I'll never question your suggestions ever again,” Matteo said as he leaned back into the chair, inhaling deeply. David grinned at him.
“I found this the other day. The food is pretty amazing.”
On cue, Matteo's stomach rumbled. He felt around his pockets for his wallet and pulled it out to see he had a five euro bill and a few more euros in coins left.
“What can I get for... eight euros and... ninety cents?” he asked David as he counted his money in the dim light of the pub.
“Depends on what you want, darling,” the waitress who had just come to their table said. She was plump, older woman with a kind face, holding a notepad in one hand.
“Uh,” Matteo blanked, staring first at her and then over at David who, thankfully, took over.
“We'll have the cheese nachos. I'll take a coke. You?”
Matteo blinked at David. “Same.”
“Alright!” the waitress said with a smile and left. Matteo was still looking at David dumbfounded before he started giggling, David joining him. When their laughter subsided, Matteo stretched his legs but stilled when they brushed against David's. Their eyes met for a split second before the moment was over, David pulling his legs under his chair.
A few minutes later their nachos and drinks were brought over to them and they dug in, David apparently as hungry as Matteo felt. It took them no more than five minutes to empty the bowl of cheesy goodness nachos. There was only one chip left in the bowl and when both of them went for it at the same time, their fingers brushed against one another, causing both of them to freeze, their eyes meeting yet again. David's lips were parted, like he wanted to say something, but he stayed silent. After a beat, Matteo withdrew his hand.
“You have it,” he offered, trying to sound calm and collected when truthfully, his fingers burned from even this infinitesimal contact. He inhaled slowly through his nose before he drank the last of his coke, hoping that the cold liquid would be enough of a shock to reset his systems.
Well, it wasn't. But he didn't allow himself to linger on it. Instead they paid, splitting the cost of the nachos between them, and made their way back to where they had strayed from their sightseeing tour path.
“The Gendarmenmarkt!” David exclaimed as they reached the square and he walked onto it with bright eyes, taking in the sights. Matteo watched David as he turned on the spot, his neck craned to look at the churches on the north and south end of the square, as well as the Konzerthaus situated between the two.
“Did you know that this place had four other names before it was named Gendarmenmarkt?” Matteo called over to David, who stopped spinning and turned to look at Matteo.
“Tell me.”
Matteo didn't need to be told twice. “First it was Linden-Markt. Then Mittelmarkt, but it was also called Friedrichstädtischer Markt during the same time. And after that, it was called Neuer Markt.”
“Why does a square need so many names?” David asked in confusion, walking towards the statue of Schiller.
“Fuck if I know,” Matteo replied, closing up to David, both of them now looking at the marble statue.
“What are those?” David asked the next question, pointing at the figures sitting below the standing Schiller.
“Allegorical figures. This one's for History,” he pointed at the one holding a board with the names Lessing, Kant and Goethe hewn into it. He pointed at the next one. “This one's for Lyric Poetry, that one for Philosophy and the last one stands for Tragedy.”
This place seemed to be the one David was most interested in so far. Sure, he had asked a lot of questions at the Brandenburg Gate, but he hadn't had that look in his eyes... that look of pure amazement and wonder. Matteo watched him again as they crossed the square, taking in the French and German Church. He didn't really want this night to end.
“What else are you gonna show me?” David question interrupted Matteo's train of thought, bringing him back to the here and now.
“Uh, the Fernsehturm and the Alexanderplatz,” Matteo quickly replied as David came to a halt next to him.
“Alright, then show me.”
With a smile, they set off in the direction of the Fernsehturm, walking past the Berlin Palace until they reached the Neptune fountain, which was still turned off. Tilting their heads back, they looked up at the metal and glass sphere that hosted the observation deck, bar and restaurant.
“How often have you been up there?” David asked, not looking away from the top of the Fernsehturm. Matteo glanced at him.
“Too often. It gets old after the third time.”
David stayed silent for a few moments longer, his lips parted in absent-mindedness. “I can't imagine. Standing on top of the world... it must feel so overwhelming.”
“I could take you there one day.”
It had slipped out before Matteo could stop himself. Fuck. David looked over at that and for a second, Matteo thought this glimpse into his thoughts had ruined the night, but then David's lips curved into a small smile. If Matteo hadn't watched it happen, he might not have caught it. “That'd be nice.”
Matteo exhaled, relieved. But he didn't forget that there was a line between being friendly and flirting, and he was pretty sure he had just crossed it. But David didn't comment on it any further, so Matteo instead told him about how the Fernsehturm was the tallest structure in Germany and the third-tallest in Europe, returning to what he was certain only counted as being friendly. They watched the dome spin around for a minute longer before they continued on to the Alexanderplatz.
“I still can't believe you came up with that story right in front of the ticket inspector,” Matteo said adoringly and David laughed.
“The Alex was the first thing that came to my mind. I don't know,” he said even though they had talked about it last Friday as well.
“Seriously, that was impressive,” Matteo insisted, the laughter still bubbling up inside of him.
“I couldn't leave you hanging,” David said and Matteo's laughter died. This felt like the opposite of being friendly, on the other side of the line. Slowly but surely, the feeling inside Matteo that there was something more between them, something that he was allowed to explore, maybe even encourage by David, grew stronger. There were too many signs to just brush it off anymore.
“Hey, let's check what time it is in Detroit right now,” Matteo suggested but winced internally. Why couldn't he have just let the moment be? Why did he have to cover up any indication that he didn't want to be just friendly? Fuck.
So instead, they walked over to the World clock until they found the side that read Montreal, Washington, New York and Havanna.
“So 11 p.m.,” Matteo read the clock, tilting is head.
“Actually it's around midnight,” David corrected him, standing next to him. “Daylight saving time. They switched March 10th but we don't until tomorrow.”
“Oh.” Only now did he realize that they had been wandering through Berlin for almost three hours, but to him, it had felt like half an hour, maybe. Time really did fly in the company of someone you... liked.
As they stood there next to the World Clock, Matteo noticed how the sky had turned from black to blue, lightest the closest to the horizon (or as close to the horizon he could see with all the houses in the way).
“Hey,” Matteo said before he looked over at David who turned his head towards him from where he was still inspecting the clock. “There's one last place I want to show you. It's pretty far away though, but I promise you it'll be worth it.”
David squinted his eyes at Matteo in unveiled curiosity. He seemed to contemplate it, stifling a yawn, before he nodded.
So they set off, heading southwest, past the Nikolaikirche and the Jewish Museum which, as Matteo told David, was the largest Jewish museum in the whole of Europe, and crossed the Landwehrkanal before Matteo made a few turns to get them to the Großbeerenstraße. The sky was considerably lighter already, no longer black and blue but blue and dusty gray. As they stood on the corner, Matteo pointed to the far end of the street.
“Can you see that back there?”
David followed the line of where Matteo was pointing and squinted his eyes to make out what Matteo meant.
“Is that... a monument of some kind?” he guessed, looking back at Matteo.
“Yup. Come on.”
Walking down the street with its trees that slowly started to green, Matteo felt like a kid again. He told David so, how he used to live not far from here during the first few years of his life, how walks similar to this had been a regular occurrence. When they came to halt at the last intersection separating them from the park, David extended his arm to point at something.
“A waterfall!” he said in childlike excitement and Matteo felt himself fall harder than ever when he saw the look on David's face. He knew it had been the right decision to go here.
“It's not real though,” he clarified, crossing the street when the pedestrian light turned green. “It was modeled after the designer traveled to the Giant Mountains to get inspiration because the city parliament didn't approve of his first plans.”
“It looks amazing nonetheless,” David whispered as he put his hands back into the pockets of his jacket. His eyes followed the waterfall upwards. “And what's the monument?”
“The Prussian National Monument for the Liberation Wars,” Matteo said and started to guide them onto a path that would take them to the top of the hill. “The Kreuzberg was actually named after the cross at the top of the monument, before that it was called Tempelhofer Berg or Runder Berg.”
“Damn you're like a walking encyclopedia, Matteo,” David replied, slightly out of breath as they climbed the fairly steep path.
Matteo scoffed. “If I could remember everything from school as well as these facts I wouldn't have a worry in the world.”
“That's me with lyrics. Or movie quotes,” David confessed. “I can sing along to songs I haven't heard in years but some stuff from school just won't stick.”
“Bulimia-style learning is shitty anyway.”
David glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “Mood.”
Matteo grinned at David, who grinned back when finally, they reached the top of the hill, climbing the last few stairs to the iron monument...
“...which commemorated the fallen soldiers of the Prussian army from important battles and victories, but also the defeats,” Matteo told David, who inspected the golden details of the otherwise greenish gray monument in the now pink morning light. Matteo couldn't stop watching him, how his fingers hovered over the details of monument, almost touching the metal.
“Can we sit down for a change?” Matteo asked, noticing how his feet were not used to walking for hours on end. David turned to look at him, but Matteo had already settled on the stairs. After a moment, David sat down next to him.
Pulling his tobacco pouch out of his pocket, Matteo rolled a joint and lit it up. It was quiet here, just the two of them and the birds singing their songs.
“This is the highest natural elevation in Berlin, by the way,” Matteo said as David took a drag, blowing the smoke in the opposite direction from Matteo.
“How high?” David asked after his second drag, passing the joint back to Matteo.
“66 meters above sea level. But it's less than half of that from the street where we started.”
They smoked the rest of the joint almost in silence, but it was nice like that. When he took the last drag, he extinguished the bud and threw it away.
“Fuck it's cold!” David exclaimed suddenly, echoing the exact same words Matteo had said hours ago, and pulled his beanie even farther down into his forehead before he rubbed his hands together. Matteo licked his lips, looking over at him. He contemplated if he should really...
“I could...” he suggested, holding up his arm as an invite to lay it around David's back. David blinked at Matteo, thunderstruck. This was the line they hadn't dared to consciously cross all night, but now the sun was coming up and they were all alone here, even the streets almost quiet, and somehow this felt like a now-or-never moment. David wet his lips, too.
“Ok.”
Matteo needed a moment to process that David had just agreed, so when he did, he scooted closer and gingerly put his arm around David's back. Both of them stiffened. Sitting next to each other on Matteo's bed playing Zelda, their legs bumping against one another every now and then, was one thing, but this was something else entirely. Matteo cautiously rested his hand on David's shoulder without any pressure, the fabric of David's jacket soft under his fingertips. David's other shoulder dug into Matteo's chest, but he didn't care.
“It's really beautiful here,” David whispered as the sky slowly changed from pink to orange, the few clouds that lingered in the sky looking like they were on fire.
“Mhm,” Matteo agreed, not able to form any other words. Having David so close did all kinds of things to his heart. One second he felt like he might pass out, and the next he wanted to scream his lungs out in happiness. And when he felt David slinging his arm around the small of his own back his breath got caught in his throat.
“Thanks for bringing me here,” David said, his voice barely a whisper and endlessly, oh so endlessly soft.
Matteo finally looked over at him and found that David was already watching him, but he lowered his eyes as soon as their gazes met.
And just then, the first ray of sunshine hit David's skin.
If someone were to ask Matteo to describe this moment later, he would've been lost for words. Everything else vanished, just the two of them left in the world, David's skin the warmest hue of honey and his eyelashes casting long shadows across it. Matteo felt dizzy. He inhaled deeply, realizing he had stopped breathing.
A thought came into his head. He gathered up all the courage he had and he muttered, “You have an eyelash there.”
David looked back at him. The sunlight refracted in his eyes, making them look so much deeper than they usually did already. For a moment, they just stared at each other and when David didn't move, Matteo brought up his hand to wipe the eyelash away. He held his finger in front of David's mouth.
“You can make a wish now.”
His heart was beating so hard he was sure David could see, hear and feel it. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this. At the same time, both of them looked down at Matteo's finger – there was no eyelash there. There had never been an eyelash to begin with. Every fiber in Matteo's body hoped, wished, prayed that David would play along.
And he did. He didn't say anything, just closed his eyes and blew the imaginary eyelash away and before Matteo could change his mind, he leaned in and kissed David.
He felt David still, just for the fraction of a moment, before he kissed him back. Matteo couldn't believe it. But this was really happening. He was sitting atop the Kreuzberg, the first light of day illuminating them, and he was kissing David. And David was kissing him back, too.
Delicately, Matteo brought up his hand to rest it on David's cheek, but he hadn't anticipated how the sensation of skin to skin contact would make him so much more aware that this was real. Because a tiny part of him was still insisting that he was dreaming, that if he opened his eyes, he'd be sitting here alone. But he ran his thumb across the soft skin of David's cheek, his other fingertips brushing over the stubble of hair at the nape of David's neck and he knew he could never dream something like this. He had imagined it, yes, more than once, but to actually experience it... it left him speechless.
Their lips met in another soft kiss before David leaned back, not much, only so far that their lips didn't meet anymore, but their noses and foreheads still did. They both opened their eyes and Matteo's heart felt lighter than ever before. This was really happening. They were both really here, holding one another, and David's smile rivaled the morning sun.
“Your septum's so cold,” Matteo noted, the first thought that had come to his mind when he had been able to form coherent ones again. David chuckled. And so did Matteo.
“Sorry,” David apologized, running his fingers across the piercing.
Matteo watched him with heavy lids. “Don't be.”
Their eyes met. Matteo's heart skipped a beat. And so he kissed him again.