Chapter Text
This cannot be happening.
Seriously.
What the fuck.
What the fuck?!??!?
Okay, flashback to last night. My mom came into my room looking pretty fucking scared. Turns out, I have a twin brother. A twin brother . And I didn't even know until last night. How fucked up is that? Apparently, Mom and some guy had me and mystery twin, got divorced, then they had this genius fucking idea that they should split us up and never tell each other about it. I have a brother in New Jersey who lives with our birth dad. And today, I'm going to meet him.
Now, of course, my dad, the guy I call ‘Dad’, the guy who raised me is also kind of stressed, except- and get this- he knew too . And didn't think to tell me. He didn't think to tell me that not only do I have a twin brother, oh no, that's not even the worst of it, no, he didn't even think to tell me, ‘Hey, Jared, guess what? I'm not your real fucking dad!’
Okay, but, like, other than that? Dad is pretty cool, he's nice, funny, taught me to ride a bike, cook, find constellations, typical dad stuff. But I wonder what my birth dad is like?
I wonder if he ended up marrying someone else.
Oh. And another fucked up thing. Mom used to visit them . She'd say she was on a business trip or some shit, but my dad, the dad I grew up with, Dad , knew. He did. And I was just a dumb kid who thought: ‘Oh, Mommy is going to have meetings someplace cool!’ No wonder the majority of the first ten years of my life were just me and Dad, with Mom on the weekends and maybe some weekdays. Fuckin’ hell. I should’ve known.
I barely slept last night, wondering what the hell this guy is like. Is he cool? Is he nice? Or is he a jerk? A Trump supporter? Oh, God, please don't be a Trump supporter . I wonder if he's Jewish, too. Like, is my real dad even Jewish? Hm.
For the past few hours since I woke up, I've been texting my one and only friend, the dork, Evan Hansen.
I expected him to be on my side here, but he's all ‘Woah! That's so cool! I always wanted a sibling! And a twin ? Jared, that's awesome!’ Ugh. At least he was sympathetic when I told him that Dad isn't my real dad. He isn’t that close with my parents, and I guess Heidi must’ve known, but never told him.
I haven't said much to Mom or Dad, but they told me my brother and ‘dad’ are coming any minute now.
Oh. There's one other key detail here. My brother? He's staying with us. Our dad is dropping him off because apparently my twin had something really traumatic happen to him and he needs a change of scenery or whatever. I have no idea why he couldn't have just stayed at a hotel, or why our dad isn't even staying with him , but whatever. So why not stay with the brother he never met with his birth mom and step-dad? Why the fuck not?
Oh, fuck. A traumatic experience. If that's code for ‘suicide attempt’ I don't think I'll be able to handle this.
Okay. That came out wrong. Listen. Here's the deal. I love Evan. Not like that. But I love him. He's my friend. His boyfriend ain't too bad either, I suppose (that's gonna take a little bit of progress), and both of them, well, both made an attempt to end their lives. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if someone I might grow to care about hurts themselves, or learn they already have. Call me a dick, whatever. I just… it's too much.
The doorbell rings and I flinch.
Mom hurries to open the door as I make eye contact with Dad who looks just as nervous and scared as I do. I turn away. Asshole .
“Hey!” And there it is. The I-am-going-to-pretend-I-am-really-excited-to-see-you-but-I-am-actually-faking-it ‘Hey!’.
And there they are.
A balding, kinda heavy guy gives an awkward smile, his hand on the shoulder of a boy who has my face, but is slightly skinnier and a good couple of inches taller than me. Like. Half a foot taller than me. How come he gets the tall genes?! He also looks petrified. Everything about him, though, screams ‘cool kid’, except for his anxious face, something not too different than Evan’s on a daily basis. Oh, I can already tell this is not going to be good .
‘Dad’ nudges my twin gently forward. “Jeremy, why don't you meet your brother Jared while your mother and I speak, okay?”
Jeremy . Probably Jewish, so that's not too shabby .
Jeremy looks at me at last, his eyes widening. He approaches me like I'm some strange specimen. Hell, I don't blame him.
“Hey, I'm Jared, your twin brother, uh, so you already knew my mom.. that's.. uh. That's cool…” fuck. Fuck, fuck, fucking, fuck, fuck, fuck. Bad start .
“Jeremy. Heere.”
Oof . Clearly, he thinks he's better than me, speaking all monotonous and shit .
“Do people ever say Jeremy Present?” I blurt out. I'm a fucking idiot .
He blinks at me. “No.”
“Heh. Right. Um. You wanna see your room?”
Jeremy nods.
I turn away from him, shaking my head to myself as we head up the staircase. I don't bother to ask if he needs help with his bags and suitcase.
“There's your room,” I say glumly, gesturing towards the old den where Evan and I used to hang out.
“Thanks.” He puts his stuff down, and points to something in the corner with a furrowed brow. “What's that?”
“What?” I follow his gaze. Shit . Evan's shirt. I have to return it to him. Oh god, now he's gonna think I'm weird for having clothes that clearly belong to someone else in my old hangout room.
I dart forward, grabbing the ridiculously adorable powder blue sweatshirt with little pom-poms on the ends of the strings, with little bunny charms. I don’t even remember when or where he got it, but he loves it, even though he doesn’t usually wear stuff so cutesy like that. Not going to lie, it looks nice on him, and it surprisingly suits him quite well.
Jeremy watches, almost amused, as I snatch it with a blushing face. “That yours?”
I shake my head, scared to speak.
“Girlfriend’s?”
That nearly makes me choke. “No, it's.. it's my friend’s, actually. He lives next door. I'll just, uh, take it to him.” I wave the sweatshirt around, trying to ignore the fact that it smells like Evan. “He's really cool, m-maybe you can meet him or something. He's really shy, though? I dunno. But he's great, he's great, real great.” I clutch the clothing to my chest. “I'll.. be back.”
He doesn't say another word and enters his new room, the door clicking shut behind him.
Quickly, I whip out my phone, texting Evan to inform him that I'm coming over. I'm about to leave when I hear Jeremy speak. Now, okay, I know I shouldn't eavesdrop, but.. he's my twin . Shouldn't I get to learn about him in any way I can? Shouldn't I?
“Hey, Michael… yeah, I met him… I mean, he's not bad .”
Ouch .
Jeremy laughs. “I doubt it… I think he's gay.”
Wait.. what?
“Seriously, dude, I'm telling you! He brought me to my room and there was this sweater… no, like, it looked like a girl’s sweater, something Brooke would wear..”
Is that his girlfriend?
“And then he said it belonged to his friend- a guy … okay, but the way he talked about him? No way was that heterosexual. Nuh-uh.”
First of all. First of all.. I do not have a crush on Evan. That's preposterous. He has a boyfriend, for Christ’s sake!... okay. Maybe a tiny crush. Tiny. Teeny tiny .
“I hate it here already, I want to just come back to Jersey already!... it's weird seeing my mom, dude. But I think it's harder on my dad, you know? God, I can hardly imagine what it’s like for Jared . He's never even met my dad! Well, our dad… Can't you come up and visit? I'm gonna die of boredom. Plus, Jared is just.. I dunno, man. He seems like the type of guy who jerks off to old pictures of his crush and is that annoying one in class who knows all the answers, but is also kind of a dick, you know what I mean?... Shut up!” More laughter. “Seriously, it's shit here. I know I've been here for, like, barely an hour, but trust me, I know it's gonna be a long six months.”
Six months?!!?! Oh hell no .
Jeremy lowers his voice, so I have to strain to hear. “I don't think he knows.”
Knows what?
“I can't just tell him, Michael… I- it is a big deal!”
Are there more family secrets?
“I gotta go, dude, I have to unpack… okay, whatever, I'll try and be nice.. but no promises!... Come on, dude, he's weird ... Hey! I'm not being a dick! I'm just saying!... What’s that supposed to mean?... Yeah, I took them this morning. Anyway, maybe I can just sneak out of here or something… please come soon!... I'll keep you posted, keep sneaking away from him and Mom and Dad to text or call you. There is no way in hell I can make it this long, seriously… alright… talk to you later.. see ya.”
Hurriedly, I sprint down the stairs, yelling that I'm going to Evan’s, and before anyone can tell me no, or even react in the slightest, the door already slammed behind me.