I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
Fandoms
Recent works
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separate the sheep from the wolves by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
Fandoms: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
21 Jun 2023
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Summary
A sheep cannot become a wolf, and a wolf cannot become a sheep. A dog cannot grow into a sheep, and a lamb cannot grow into a wolf. A dog will grow into a wolf with sharp teeth and claws. A lamb will grow into a sheep with flat teeth and white wool.
CT-5655 is a lamb. This he knows.
CT-5655's brothers are dogs. This he does not.
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Summary
Behind her head, she heard the click of a revolver press against the back of her skull.
The silence stretched on, and slowly she noticed the smell of cigar smoke, soon followed by the warm baritone voice of the person behind her. "You know how to shoot with that thing, or did 'ya just slip up once you had the chance to shoot lil' ol' me?"
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Saylor attempts to cash in a bounty worth $60 million dollars for one Jesse McCree. Instead she finds a new hatred for cowboys.
(This is written pre-Recall so Cole still goes by McCree in this)
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Guess I'll Say Thank You For Lending Me Your Life by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Moon Knight (TV 2022), Original Work
16 May 2022
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Summary
It was her job to protect him. And if he got hurt it was her fault. She should've been there sooner or taken the hit for him.
If he was hurt it was her fault. This was a fact that she didn't dispute.
No matter what happens she would be there to save him from others.
The last time it was to save him from himself.
☽ ☾
Please check the tags for trigger warnings!! The death isn't graphic, but is there!!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,720
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 4
- Hits:
- 32
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There Are (No) Exceptions by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
Fandoms: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
21 Apr 2020
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Summary
Ethan and Leon were brothers.
They were always there for each other and there were no exceptions to this.
How could there be exceptions when they always stuck together? -
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Summary
just some fun facts and things about the egos in this series, their relationships, and some jokes and things they all have made :) pretty much just fun facts about this series
Series
- Part 2 of Ego Inc
Recent series
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Stranger's Vocab Drabbles by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
Fandom Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King, Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series)
27 Oct 2019
Summary
So i'm doing this thing for myself where i write short fics using my vocab words in my English 2 class for the week, and i have to include all 10 vocab words in the fic. this is a thing i came up with for myself to work on my writing and stuff, so yeah. there's gonna be one of these every week.
None of the fics are related unless specified otherwise. (but you can read them that way if you want ^^)
The words of the week are in the end notes, and in the actual fics they're the bolded words.
:)
- Words:
- 8,998
- Works:
- 4
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Summary
The Markiplier Egos, or at least how i write them :)
This is just gonna be various one-shots and multiple chaptered things of the Egos around the Manor :)
May feature Jack's egos every once in a while uwu- Words:
- 3,176
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 1,757
- Works:
- 1
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Summary
Just a 2-part Prinxiety series I wrote on accident. lol whoops.
- Words:
- 2,857
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
Recent bookmarks
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The Petrova Line by clokkerfoot
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Iron Lung (2026)
23 Apr 2026
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Summary
Two survivors wake up aboard Hail Mary with no memory of how they got there: Dr Ryland Grace, and an engineer called Simon Fleischer. As they navigate their unique situation and the discoveries awaiting them at Tau Ceti, they uncover truths about themselves that would have, perhaps, been better left forgotten.
Bookmarked by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
23 Apr 2026
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show me the world (as i'd love to see it) by team_avatars_eyebags
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Iron Lung (2026)
30 Apr 2026
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Summary
Almost three years into their journey to Erid, Grace and Rocky run into a black hole.
Or rather, the other side of one.
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At the hour of his death, a sinner prays:Hail Mary, Full of Grace...
Bookmarked by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
23 Apr 2026
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Project Saving Grace by ajsmellslikebooks
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
25 Apr 2026
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Summary
In relative terms, the trip from the Tau Ceti system to the 40 Eridani system takes the Hail Mary a little over three Earth years.
This is what happens when you put two snarky aliens in a small, enclosed space for that long.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,413
- Chapters:
- 28/29
- Comments:
- 928
- Kudos:
- 2,011
- Bookmarks:
- 581
- Hits:
- 35,964
Bookmarked by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
23 Apr 2026
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Hail Mary, Full of Grace! by Alviva (AlvivaChaser)
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026), Iron Lung (2026), Iron Lung (Video Game)
22 Apr 2026
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Summary
Whatever happened here was bad. Irrevocably, inexplicably, inarticulably bad in a way that the most basal parts of his being wants nothing more than to escape from. But Grace can't turn away.
After encountering what appears to be a last hoo-ra emergency mission attempt from Earth caught up in the Hail Mary's wake, Grace and Rocky discover a single, severely injured human being quite literally encased in what Grace can only describe as a crime scene. A horror movie. And when he wakes up? He's mad. Really mad. Talking to the walls mad. Now they have to figure out just where he came from and why. Things are further complicated when all the newcomer (Simon, they learn) can talk about is missing planets, haunted oceans, and non-existent space stations. That and the really weird data they've been picking up on.
Maybe part of solving that is, much to Rocky's enthusiasm; both Grace and Simon slowly realizing how lonely they are.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,941
- Chapters:
- 4/25
- Comments:
- 525
- Kudos:
- 1,172
- Bookmarks:
- 341
- Hits:
- 10,984
Bookmarked by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
21 Apr 2026
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aperture by birdbyrne (beezlebubz)
Fandoms: Iron Lung (2026), Iron Lung (Video Game), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
30 Apr 2026
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Summary
Ryland doesn't know where he is, what he's doing, or why he's doing it. All he knows is that he's in a universe with no stars and that an organization called the COI found the Hail Mary spinning out into deep space. He knows that Rocky is injured somewhere, and he knows that the man that currently lays in a hospital bed in front of him should be dead as dirt but has miraculously survived.
He knows he has been given an ultimatum. Find out what brought Simon back to life or never see Rocky again.
The task proves more complicated than he thought.
Bookmarked by I_Are_Bagel_Jesus
18 Apr 2026