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Even with the guidance of his best friends and roommates, who thankfully have been helping him navigate around Yonsei’s campus, Namjoon is still understandably nervous. He just transferred into Yonsei when it’s currently the second week into the first semester and he’s already behind in his assignments and classes. There was some trouble with credits transferring over and Namjoon really didn’t want to graduate later than he intended. So when he walked into his social psychology class, he was determined to find someone to help him out with the material until he got a solid footing. He slid into a seat near the back of the class and tried to wrap his head around the lecture.
Namjoon would occasionally get distracted by the faint scent of strawberries coming from the boy sitting next to him. Whenever he glanced over, he’d see that the person was hunched over his notebook, furiously scribbling. Huh, he must be really studious, Namjoon thinks. He figures he’ll have to get over his nerves and ask the strawberry guy (as he just dubbed him) to tutor him for a bit until he gets the hang of everything. Besides, Namjoon needs to make friends at his new school so he resolves to put himself out there.
When the lecture ends, Namjoon gathers his courage and clears his throat.
“Excuse me” he says.
His neighbor turns, and wow, Namjoon definitely did not expect this. He didn’t expect a guy with such distinctive features that they rationally could only belong on a model. And boy, was he beautiful--large expressive eyes with a nose bridge to kill for and those plump lips. Pretty people like that make Namjoon sweat with the fact that he’s in the same vicinity as them. So it’s with great surprise that he was able to get the next sentences out with minimal mental effort and without a stutter.
“I’m new to Yonsei and I just got into this class. Would you mind tutoring me for a bit? Just until I get the hang of the material. In exchange, I’ll buy you coffee.” The delivery is perfect, would have been a ten out of ten if Namjoon didn’t end his sentence with a widening of his eyes and an astonished look on his face. Like he can’t believe he did that whole sentence perfectly, but oh shit, he ruined it with looking surprised and now his brain is stuck on a circuit loop.
Strawberry guy’s expression mirrors Namjoon’s and Namjoon knows he just ruined his chance. A great start to a new semester.
Then strawberry guy’s face softens with a smile and Namjoon swears his heart skipped.
“Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung.” He dips his head in a little bow and Namjoon gives him a hurried one in return.
The person next to strawberry guy (now known as Kim Taehyung) snorts and peers around to look at Namjoon, amusement filling his eyes. Namjoon wilts at that.
Taehyung shoves an elbow into his friend’s ribs and hisses “Jimin, shut up.”
He whips his head back to Namjoon so fast it startles him, and covertly covers the notes he was taking, “Uh, yes! I can totally tutor you. Sorry, what’s your name?”
Namjoon perks up and straightens his posture. “Ah, I’m Kim Namjoon. It’s great to meet you and thank you so much.” Namjoon lets out a relieved sigh, “I’ll buy all the coffees you want.”
Taehyung stares at Namjoon intently for a few more moments and then goes right back to his warm smile. “Let’s exchange phone numbers? And then I’ll text you what my schedule is like and you can do the same.”
Namjoon nods and hands Taehyung his phone. After they finish trading, Taehyung is the first to get up with his friend and tells Namjoon nonchalantly, “By the way, I don’t drink coffee. But I do love hot chocolate and pastries.” He throws him a quick wink and heads out the building, while his friend briefly gives Namjoon a small smile and a bow.
Namjoon couldn’t even return the greeting to Taehyung’s friend, too focused on replaying that wink he just saw that was directed at him, for him, to him.
It’s only Namjoon’s first day at his new school and he’s already crushing on someone.
Nice.
--
The rest of Namjoon’s classes go smoothly. Pooling up that little courage gathered from Taehyung’s wink, he managed to strike up small talk with at least one person in each of his class. So yeah, in the end it's been a successful day, even through some sweaty palm situations.
When he gets back to his shared apartment, he’s really happy. And he’s able to excitedly tell his roommates, Hoseok and Jungkook, about how he’s already gotten phone numbers and invites to hang out. The one that stood out the most though, he hasn’t been able to text yet.
When Namjoon and his roommates sit down to eat dinner together, his phone buzzes. He checks it, yelps, and promptly chucks it across the room towards the small couch where it barely makes a landing.
Hoseok jumps at Namjoon’s outburst and puts his hand on his heart to take a breather.
“You alright there, hyung?” Jungkook asks, not even fazed at what Namjoon did. Not even looking at him, just spooning more rice into his mouth.
“Please tell me there’s a good reason for that,” Hoseok says as he resumes eating.
“Sorry, it’s the guy from my social psych class. He’s gorgeous and he offered to tutor me on the material. I kind of freaked out when he texted me just now.”
“Gorgeous huh?” Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “So are you going to keep poking around your food or are you going to answer your text?”
“Hyung already has a crush” Jungkook teases, giving him a wide grin.
Namjoon doesn’t answer to either of those statements and goes to retrieve his phone.
Kim Taehyung
hi :) this is Kim Taehyung from your social psych class! i’m free tomorrow night at around 9 pm if that works for you?
Namjoon
hi! yes, that sounds good. it works for me. where should we meet?
Kim Taehyung
hmm, meet me in front of the school entrance? and then we can go to a cafe.
Namjoon
:):) okay
Namjoon buries his face into his hands after he sends the last text. “I sent him two smiley faces,” he says despairingly.
Hoseok looks over his shoulder at the text, “Oh yeah, definitely shows that you’re desperate.”
“Come on hyung, you should know better,” Jungkook chimes in.
Namjoon groans, making his roommates burst into giggles.
“We’re kidding. And if anyone judges you for sending two smiley faces they’re clearly not worth your time” Jungkook shrugs, cleaning up the table.
“Come on, Namjoon-ah,” Hoseok says encouragingly, putting a hand on his shoulder, “You’ll be fine. You’ve been doing great today! Met new people, got numbers...Just be yourself!”
“That’s the thing, if I be myself that means overthinking and doing something awkward. I don’t want anyone I met today to think I’m weird and not want to hang out with me again.”
“You really need to stop underestimating how cool you are. And if anyone says anything, I’ll fight them for you. Tell them to meet Jeon Jungkook from the taekwondo club.”
Hoseok gets up to help Jungkook with the rest of the dishes and adds on, “And to meet Jung Hoseok from the dance club. It doesn’t sound as impressive but I can take on anyone.”
“Tag team?” Jungkook asks.
“Tag team!” Hoseok says enthusiastically and they high five.
“Thanks guys,” Namjoon says with overwhelming fondness. And they’re right, he firmly thinks, don’t overthink it and people that are genuinely cool and nice will accept Namjoon as he is. He’ll be completely fine, a surge of confidence coursing through him.
Namjoon glances at the last text he sent and repeats it to himself.
He’ll be fine.
--
Namjoon is not fine. He’s waiting at the entrance, trying not to fidget so much and trying to ignore his steadily increasing heartbeat. When Taehyung finds him, Namjoon is doing his best to not melt into a puddle because Taehyung is looking as lovely as ever and sporting really pretty dangling earrings that sparkles every time he moves. That’s an odd thing to focus on but he figures it’s better that than gaping at the radiant beauty of his face.
“Hey!” Taehyung grins.
“Hi,” Namjoon says gives him a wobbly smile back. There’s a couple of heartbeats of silence and Namjoon thinks he needs to fill in the space he most likely caused, “how are you?”
He cringes internally but Taehyung doesn’t seem to think it’s strange and answers him.
“Mmm, I’m fine! Classes went well today for the most part. Got to take some cool pictures. But let’s start heading over to the cafe.” He tugs on Namjoon’s sleeve and leads the way.
“I’ve been meaning to ask, what year are you so I know what to call you.” Taehyung taps on his chin.
“I’m a third year, studying marine biology” Namjoon replies smoothly, an easy question that he can’t get wrong.
“Oh, that’s so cool! I’m a second year, photography major. Please feel free to speak informally with me, Namjoon sunbae.”
“No please. If anything, I’d rather you not call me sunbae. And it’s fine really, you can speak informally to me as well. I’m more comfortable with informal.”
Taehyung’s all too happy to comply, “Okay! Great, it’s easier and more comfortable for me too. In that case, I’ll just call you hyung.” He glances at Namjoon, watching his expression through those pretty eyes of his.
Namjoon gulps, “Of course.”
“Awesome! We’re almost there, hyung.”
Soon they arrive at the two-story cafe near Edae and Taehyung happily declares, “They make a variety of really good hot chocolates and their pastries are the best.”
He helps Namjoon order and when Namjoon goes to pay for it, Taehyung smiles brightly with his eyes closed in thanks, and Namjoon almost decides to buy him the whole menu. Almost.
By the time they settle to a table with cups of hot chocolates and pastries, Namjoon feels relatively relaxed. This is familiar to him, studying and learning. When Taehyung takes out his notes, he admires the meticulousness and the pretty handwriting.
“You have really nice handwriting and these are great notes” Namjoon marvels. Taehyung coughs a bit around the cookie he was biting into, Namjoon faintly notices that Taehyung’s ears are red, it must be from the cold.
“Are you okay?” he looks at him concernedly.
“Oh yeah, totally fine” he waves him off.
“And thank you, yes, my notes are great aren’t they? Yup, my handwriting! I only write like this in class, otherwise...it’s usually not as clean. Just a fair warning.” Taehyung gives him a stilted grin.
Namjoon just nods.
“Alright, so. In the first week we started on fundamental attribution error and went in on the cognitive dissonance theory..”
An hour later, Namjoon feels confident in the material they went over and he took careful notes when Taehyung was explaining.
“I think I got the hang of it. Thank you so much Taehyung-ah, you’re a great tutor.” Namjoon smiles at him, who glances up from his notes where he was making sure he didn’t miss anything.
“Of course, hyung. You can ask me anytime.”
Namjoon takes it as a positive sign and in his relaxed state he’s able to ask but not quite meet Taehyung’s eyes, “Um, do you think this can be a regular thing? You know, just in case I still don’t get some stuff? And it’d be great to kind of have a study buddy once midterms and finals come up.”
“I’d still buy you hot chocolate of course.” He tacks on, trying not to pick at his nails.
“Sounds good to me” Taehyung answers delightedly.
Namjoon feels warm and fuzzy and he wants to bottle up this feeling so he can make it last longer. He doesn’t want to leave the cafe and definitely doesn’t want to leave Taehyung. He twiddles his fingers, trying to figure out how to phrase his next question when the younger beats him to it.
“Hey hyung, do you want to just hang out now that we’re done? I mean, maybe it’s a little late to hang out, but if you didn’t have anything else to do afterwards, I’d love to just talk.” He ends the last note a little unsure, but has a hopeful look in his eyes.
Namjoon gives him the biggest smile ever and laughs a little in relief that his dimples end up showing. But before he can answer, Taehyung zeroes in on his dimples and looks a little awestruck. And suddenly, he’s reaching over with both his hands and pokes his index fingers into each of them.
Namjoon has stopped breathing and he’s not sure how to react. He’s had people compliment his dimples, sure. But this? This is new. Especially with a boy that he was already crushing on.
Taehyung quickly brings back his hands onto his lap. “Oops, sorry about that,” he says laughing, embarrassed.
Namjoon is able to breathe again and stutters, “N-no problem. That’s...fine. That was fine.”
Taehyung gives him a sheepish smile, relieved to see that Namjoon doesn’t look irritated or mad in the least bit. Just a little lost and a lot surprised.
“Your dimples were just so cute, I couldn’t help myself,” he explains, “I can’t believe it took me this long to see them. I’m going to do my best to make you laugh and smile like that again.” He nods like he’s making a promise and Namjoon has to fight to not let a blush bloom onto his face. He fails miserably, making Taehyung coo at him, “Aww, are you blushing right now?”
He struggles to deny it but fails at that too. Not wanting the spotlight on him where his budding crush could be made very apparent, he turns the attention back to the younger.
“How did you get into photography?”
Taehyung still sports a cheeky grin but easily answers, “I got into it in high school. Since I lived in a small town in Daegu, there wasn’t much to do. But there was this random vintage shop in the midst of the fish market. I used to go there all the time just to look at the neat old stuff. I’d find antique jewelry boxes from the 20’s, even tableware sets from the late 1800’s.”
Namjoon can clearly hear the fondness in his voice and craves to hear more, like a flower drinking in the bright sunlight after a long, bitter winter.
“But I came across this camera and I never saw anything like that before so I asked if I could buy it. Looked up how much it was and couldn’t believe that I got it for a fraction of the actual price. It was probably the best purchase I’ve ever made. It’s a Polaroid SX-70 Land Camera, like one of the original Polaroid cameras from the 70’s. Here.” He pulls up a picture on his phone to show it to Namjoon.
“I used to scrounge up money when I can to buy films for it so I can go out and take pictures. I like capturing something in the moment and it’s memorialized.”
Taehyung’s incandescent smile creates a light of its own.
“That moment is captured forever, the emotions, what you were doing at that time, how the world was. You can say it was my first love.” He laughs warmly at that. “I still have it with me at home, but I only take it out for special occasions. And the film is pretty expensive to buy for a college student. So that’s the long version of how I got into photography.” He gives a shrug like it’s no big deal and polishes off the last of a pastry.
Namjoon snaps out of his daze, trying to pull himself back to the present. He was wholly enraptured by Taehyung’s words. The inflections in his voice, the way he described things, it felt like he was pulled into a glimpse of Taehyung’s past, his world, and his wondrous mind. He can easily listen to him talk for hours.
He fumbles for words. “That’s incredible Taehyung-ah. Anyone can clearly hear the love and passion you have for it. It’s like I can get a peek behind your thoughts and how you see the world.”
“Thanks hyung, that means a lot”, Taehyung’s eyes sparkle.
“What about you? What got you into marine biology?”
“There isn’t much of a story to it. I was really into turtles since I was younger. They always looked majestic and peaceful. Just doing their own thing. I used to have a lot of turtle themed stuff---turtle stuffed animal, turtle band aids, turtle wallpaper. You name it, I had it.”
“That’s really endearing. Little turtle Namjoonie hyung,” Taehyung says delightedly.
“That’s how I grew to love learning about the ocean. Along with the summer trips I took with my family to go see the sea.” He smiles, nostalgia suddenly hitting him hard.
Namjoon doesn’t know why he decides to divulge this next part. But he thinks it’s something about the ambience and how surprisingly comfortable he feels with Taehyung. He very rarely ever talks about personal things to new people but it feels right. Like he can somehow bare his soul out and he’d be safe in Taehyung’s kind hands.
“When I was a kid I was always in my own world. I’d be off doing my own thing. But as I grew older, I began to feel self-conscious when I interacted with others. I think I lacked a lot of confidence in myself. It felt like I was on a different wavelength while everyone was on the same one.”
Taehyung gazes at him intently and Namjoon’s not sure how to interpret that. He feels bad all of a sudden, he was too wrapped up in his head thinking that this would be okay to talk about. Ah, he’s missing social cues again because he got too comfortable. He’s ruining the previously peaceful and happy mood.
In a valiant attempt to lighten it up he tries to make a joke, “I think puberty hit pretty late for me so I was all kinds of awkward. I mean I still am, to be fair. But it wasn’t a surprise that I was never a part of the ‘ingroup.’”
Taehyung, who was looking serious the entire time, inadvertently laughs when he hears the social psych term being used. “Hyung, I’m sorry, but did you just say ‘ingroup’?”
Sheepishly, Namjoon answers, “Yeah. I felt like I was bringing the mood down. But it’s fine. I wasn’t traumatized or anything. I’m doing a lot better I think. I mean, I approached you first right? And it turned out okay.” To prove his point, he gives him a reassuring grin.
Taehyung’s face softens, “No hyung. You’re not bringing down the mood. Don’t worry. I think you’re amazing. And of course, I’m so happy that I got to meet you.”
He says it so easily, like it didn’t cost him anything, any effort to think about. Like he wholeheartedly believes in it. It makes Namjoon’s heart bloom even more.
Taehyung moves his hand closer to Namjoon’s, as if he wants to put it over his.
Namjoon speaks, hoping that all the currently overwhelming feelings will somehow dissipate if he does. “I wanted to take social psych to get better at social situations. I thought maybe learning about the concepts would help me understand and deal with them better.”
Taehyung tilts his head, “I think that’s really admirable.”
Namjoon has been complimented before on his smarts. But this, this was different. The fact that Taehyung was complimenting on him as a whole, this was a first. It made him feel tingly and warm all over. Like he can bask in this compliment for years to come. He was so generous with them, and Namjoon thinks maybe he can actually live forever on those.
Taehyung purses his lips before adding, “Everyone’s like that, I think. Even when it seems like everyone has it together, most of us probably don’t. We like to pretend though, you know, ‘normative social influence’ and all”. He waves his hand airily and grins and it goes straight through Namjoon’s soul.
He chuckles at the term. But his whole body feels like jelly, at how kindly Taehyung tells him it’s okay and he earnestly believes in his words.
The night passes by quickly; it’s easy talking with Taehyung, almost as if he’s talking with his best friends. The way he keeps his eyes glued to Namjoon, attentively drinking in everything he’s saying. Inquisitive, warm, kind.
By the time the cafe employees tell them that they’re closing soon, even Taehyung seems surprised at the time. They both pause once they step out of the cafe.
“I’m headed this way hyung, what about you?”
“I’m going the opposite.”
“Then, text later? We can set up another tutoring session.”
He nods emphatically, “Sounds great!”
“Okay, goodnight hyung!” Taehyung gives him a wave.
Namjoon, in return, lifts one leg up and shoots him finger guns and flashes a smile.
Oh no, oh no.
He’s absolutely mortified and doesn’t know what possessed him to do that. Wait, yeah he does. He does it to Jungkook and Hoseok all the time at home, but that’s different. Taehyung doesn’t know him well enough yet. Namjoon forgot his nerves and let his guard down and did it on impulse.
But all Taehyung does is give him a hearty laugh and mimics him cutely, adding a wink at the end.
By the time Namjoon gets home, cheeks and nose rosy from the cold, there’s a soft smile on his face and his only thoughts are of sweet, smart, and beautiful Taehyung.
--
Since they don’t have opportunities to talk in class, Namjoon eagerly looks forward to their next meetup. It’s funny, but in the short time they’re together, he already feels comfortable around him. He is still nervous, but more on the fact that the crush he’s had on him is steadily growing at an alarming rate. He knows Taehyung wouldn’t judge him for anything. He listens to Namjoon intently as he talks about the migration patterns of leatherback turtles, his random mishaps when trying to conduct research, and even on mundane things. And Taehyung lets him talk, curiously asking questions, and getting excited when Namjoon does. To others it may not be much, but to him it’s everything. Having someone who genuinely wants to befriend, listen, and understand him.
When Taehyung speaks, Namjoon is captivated. The way he describes his love for photography, his friends, and his plants. The clear fondness in his eyes, so full of life and so much to give. The way he confidently holds himself and easily greets the other classmates who seem to vie for his attention. Namjoon counts his stars and feels lucky to know someone as amazing as him.
After their notes are long put away, they pass their time like this. Talking and laughing, getting to know each other. Hours are gone in a blink of an eye but it always feels too soon. It’s become their farewell greeting, with Taehyung lifting a leg and doing the finger guns back at Namjoon, making him blush faintly every time. They part ways with Taehyung’s laugh resonating in his ears.
---
After their fourth tutoring session, Namjoon notices an odd recurring pattern. He realizes that in the third and fourth time they got together, Taehyung’s notes weren’t as meticulous as they once were, his handwriting now different, smudged and very flowy. During these times, Namjoon would be the one teaching Taehyung on the material instead. He didn’t mind at all, he actually enjoyed it, watching Taehyung’s eyebrows knit in concentration, nodding seriously whenever Namjoon explained the results of a particular experiment. He went along with it, irrationally afraid that if he mentioned it, they would stop meeting up and wouldn’t be able to hang out anymore.
He goes home later that night, wondering if he’s just overthinking again. As soon as he steps into the apartment and slips off his shoes, he’s greeted by Jungkook playing Overwatch in the living room. The younger barely glances at him and greets him with a quick “hey hyung” before yelling out, “Hoseok hyung, Namjoon hyung is thinking too hard again.”
Namjoon sputters out, “What? No, I’m not. What makes you think that?”
Jungkook pokes his tongue out as he frowns at the tv screen, “You’ve got that ‘I’m thinking too hard’ face on. Pretty easy to tell. And it looks like you need to talk about it.”
“Hoseok hyung!” he calls out again.
“Shh,” Namjoon tries to shush him, “Hoseokie is probably asleep, it’s already 1 am anyways.”
“Nah, don’t worry. Hoseok hyung is drunk but not drunk enough to pass out yet.”
“Wait, n—“
“Hoseok hyung!”
Hoseok stumbles into view in his pajamas. “What do you want you brat? Hyung is trying to sleep,” he says irritably, slightly slurring his words.
Jungkook just rolls his eyes, “You mean sweet brat because who helped you into your pajamas? And who set out some water, aspirin, and the Condition drink?”
“Alright alright, you’re a sweet brat,” Hoseok pats his head absentmindedly.
“Help Namjoon hyung.”
“Hmm Namjoonie? Hey!” Hoseok throws his arms around him and Namjoon catches him with an ‘oomp’ sound.
Hoseok drops onto the couch next to Jungkook and looks seriously at Namjoon but the effect is slightly dampened by the smile threatening to overtake his face, “Ok, tell me my child. What is your problem?”
“Well I—“
“Wait, no don’t tell me” Hoseok closes his eyes in concentration. He doesn’t move or say anything for a full minute.
“Did--did Hoseok just pass out?” Namjoon whispers incredulously.
Jungkook shoves him with his arm and Hoseok’s eyes fly open.
“What? No, I was not asleep. Just deeply thinking.”
“Go to sleep Hoseok-ah, we can talk about this tomorrow.”
“No, no. We have to talk now. So you’re overthinking. Okay. Let me take a stab at it.”
He nods like he’s confirming something.
“Okay you’re overthinking about a particular someone and not sure how to read the signs in the situation. And you’re worried that if you say something, you’ll mess it up.”
Namjoon’s eyes widen, “How’d you know?”
Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows in all and gravely says, “Telepathy.”
Jungkook snorts, “You told us you’d be out late because you’re getting tutored. And hyung, it’s a Friday. Who does that on a Friday? Certainly not the other person, maybe you though.”
Hoseok crosses his arms, “So what’s the situation?”
“Okay, well there’s just something odd I’ve been noticing,” Namjoon starts, “The first two times was fine, not that it isn’t fine now. But I noticed in the third and fourth time, his notes weren’t as detailed and his handwriting changed considerably? He did mention his handwriting in class and outside are different. But the notes he brings to our meetings aren’t consistent. Also, it feels like I’m the one now tutoring him, which works with me. It’s just weird? Like something’s not adding up.”
He adds in after a pause, “Or maybe he’s just super busy with other classes and hasn’t had time to really pay attention….but he takes notes in class, why would it not be detailed as it usually is...Maybe he has things on his mind? I don’t know.”
Hoseok has both his hands to his temples, eyes squeezed shut, “Okay...okay. So quick summary is, recently it feels like you’re the one who’s tutoring him, his notes aren’t as organized, his handwriting is different, and you think it’s because he has stuff on his mind. And you just came back from the tutoring session on a Friday.”
Namjoon gives him a puzzled look, “Yes? And you guys keep emphasizing Friday. I mean, some people like to be prepared and might have midterms coming up.”
Hoseok counters, “Okay, do you have one coming up?”
Namjoon frowns, “It’s not until a week and a half later.”
“Mhm, tutoring on a Friday with no midterms.” Like that explains everything.
Namjoon tilts his head in confusion.
“Point in case,” Hoseok jerks a thumb at Jungkook, “This kid’s playing games on a Friday night, very characteristic of him if he has free time and wants to wind down by himself.” Jungkook nods, eyes still glued to the game.
“As for me,” he points to his chest, “I was out drinking on a Friday night and got way too hammered way too fast and may have gotten to second base with someone I am definitely interested in. I also didn’t want to end up trashed and regretting something. I’m responsible, I know. So here I am.”
Namjoon blinks, and slowly says, “Okay. You each like to spend time that’s best suited to your preferences on a Friday night. What does that have to do with me?”
“It’s not about you hyung, it’s about the other person.” Jungkook interjects. “They seem to be interested in you if they’re willingly studying with you on a Friday night.”
“And besides,” Hoseok arches an eyebrow, “whose handwriting changes like that?”
“Mine does, when I’m rushing,” Jungkook offers. Hoseok lightly hits him in the arm.
“What does it look like?” Hoseok asks.
“Well, his notes in class normally look really neat, like it can be a font. The notes that I’ve been seeing lately are...pretty messy? But it’s like pretty, flowy. Like it has a personality of its own.”
“Yeah, no. That doesn’t add up whatsoever. That’s a clear discrepancy.” Hoseok says with a shake of his head. “Oooh should not have done that, should not have done that,” he mutters to himself as he holds onto his head.
“So what does it mean?”
Jungkook finally looks at him with fond exasperation. “He’s probably borrowing notes from someone else to make it look like he can tutor you? Is my guess.”
He doesn’t know what to say and is currently trying to process all this information.
“Either way, seems like he’s into you. Do you like him too?” Jungkook asks.
“Yeah, I do” Namjoon concedes shyly.
Hoseok beams at him and reaches over to pats his cheeks with enthusiasm. Jungkook gives him a bright smile and says, “You got this hyung.”
Namjoon just ducks his head and lets his reddened ears do the talking.
Hoseok gets up, “Alright, boys. This talk has thoroughly sobered me up.”
“You’re still drunk, hyung.”
Hoseok waves his hand, “Either way, a goodnight to you both. And Namjoon, I believe in you, you can do this.” He gives him another hug and goes to his room.
The sounds of shooting and dying characters fill the room as Namjoon ponders.
“Who’s the person he’s trying to go out with?”
“Mm some guy named Kim Seokjin.”
“I’ll ask him about that tomorrow. And Kook?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“Of course. Anything for you, you’re my favorite hyung.” Jungkook whispers the last part conspiratorially and gives him a little grin and Namjoon goes to ruffle his hair.
“I heard that Jeon Jungkook.” Hoseok’s voice is heard through the door to his room.
“What the fuck,” Jungkook mutters and his eyes go comically wide as he glances at the shut door.
They both look at each other and burst into quiet giggles until Namjoon realizes it’s getting harder to keep his eyes open.
“I’m going to sleep, night.”
“Night.”
Namjoon slips into bed and goes over their conversation again. Could his best friends be right? They did have more experience and what they said made sense. But Namjoon being Namjoon, remains skeptical and perhaps a little hopeful. He goes over this many more times before he finally turns his brain off and drifts to sleep.
—
It’s during their fifth session when Taehyung speaks up.
“Hyung.”
“Hmm?” Namjoon looks up from his textbook.
“I think we both know by this point, you’re the one actually tutoring me. I actually did well on our midterm because of your notes.”
Does this mean he no longer wants to meet?, Namjoon thinks dejectedly, his shoulders slumping.
Namjoon protests weakly, “That’s not true, you’re good at giving great examples for the topics we’re studying. You have a lot of experience so when you explain with those examples compared to the textbook ones, I feel like it’s much more applicable and easier to understand.”
“Wow, thanks hyung. That’s really nice of you to say.” Taehyung beams at him.
“It’s true though, so I think we’re on pretty equal footing.” Namjoon offers, still a little nervous.
“Okay then, let me think,” Taehyung tilts his head to the side, “Got it! I vote that we call these tutoring meetups to study dates from now on.”
He tries not to fixate on the word “date”. Don’t overthink it Namjoon, come on.
“All in favor?” Taehyung raises his hand.
“Yes.” Namjoon mirrors him and gives him a grin.
“Onto the next matter of business,” Taehyung laces his hands and leans toward Namjoon.
“The next?” He’s confused.
“Yup. The next matter of business is that we should start hanging out outside of our study dates, not that I don’t like them. Just that it’d be nice to grab dinner too or go to that COEX aquarium you’ve been talking about. I also think I’m putting on weight from all the hot chocolate and pastries you’ve been buying me,” Taehyung pats his stomach for emphasis.
“All in favor?” he raises his hand again.
“Yes.” Namjoon says softly. Taehyung, satisfied, goes back to reading Namjoon’s notes. Namjoon can’t help but feel that the butterflies in his stomach has now migrated to his heart.
He suddenly recalls his friends’ words and chews on his lower lip, thinking.
—
Namjoon would seriously and wholeheartedly say he’s a chicken, in every sense of the word. He’s not a fan of heights, ironically enough coming from his own tall stature, he doesn’t like scary movies even though he always accompanies Jungkook to watch them, and he’s not one for putting himself out there. Whether that be introducing himself to a group of students or asking a sales clerk for help on which cleansing foam is the best for combination skin.
But this is probably the most nerve wracking situation he’s been in. It’s a very warm day and he is currently sitting at the rooftop patio of the main Yonsei library with Taehyung. For once they were studying together in the afternoon because Namjoon had a plan. A plan that he had painstakingly gone over with the help of Hoseok and Seokjin hyung (who were now happily together). Jungkook had vehemently protested against the idea and that in itself started an argument with Seokjin. It had something to do with their predestined rivalry or something, Namjoon didn’t quite follow that part.
But what really pushed him was some confirmation that he was maybe not imagining the fact that Taehyung was maybe most likely interested in him.
It happened a couple days ago when they were waiting for class to start and Taehyung rushed out to go to the bathroom. He usually sat in between Namjoon and Jimin and although they now knew each other’s names and talked about small idle things, they didn’t know each other well yet. Jimin accidentally knocked his notebook to the ground which ended up at next to Namjoon’s shoe. He didn’t think much of it when he picked it up, but that was before he glimpsed at the handwriting. The same handwriting that was supposedly Taehyung’s when he first brought in his notes.
He handed it back to Jimin slowly, staring at the writing, a little dumbfounded. Jimin murmured his thanks and flashed him a cute but knowing smile.
Everything clicked. Namjoon would have to be dense as a brick if he didn’t get that. He’s proud to say he wasn’t at the brick level but any denser and things might have been a problem.
“Mm I feel like we can skip over the attraction and love material,” Taehyung says as he currently flips through the textbook. “Pretty self-explanatory and even if we were tested on it it’d probably be something simple.”
Namjoon agrees on every point but he says, “I actually want to go over it.”
Taehyung shrugs, “Sure. Was there a specific part?”
Namjoon takes an extra long sip of his iced coffee, buying time and pep talking himself in the process. “Sternberg’s three components of love.” He can’t blame the sun for how hot he’s feeling.
“Okay. Let’s go over those.”
Namoon starts, “Sternberg formed the triangular theory of love. He theorized that these 3 components are what comprises different forms of love. Not all loves have all components, but each love has at least one component.”
Taehyung continues, “Passion. Characterized by physical attraction and arousal.”
Namjoon recites the next, “Intimacy is defined by feelings of closeness and attachment to another. Connection.”
Taehyung finishes, “Commitment refers to the conscious decision to stay in the relationship and maintain it.”
Here he goes, he’s putting it all on the line.
Seokjin guaranteed a one hundred ten percent success rate and Namjoon believed in him, because Seokjin can tell him the world is actually flat and somehow it would make sense.
He steels himself, “If you have all three components then you create an ideal love--the consummate love. And if you’d give me a chance, that’d be something I’d like to have with you.”
Taehyung was sipping on his lemonade when the last sentence was uttered. He immediately starts choking and coughing. Namjoon can’t even hide his embarrassment, too busy thumping Taehyung on the back to make sure he’s breathing.
Taehyung lets out a few coughs and then hastily wipes his mouth. He turns to Namjoon, eyes wide, “What?”
Seokjin coached Namjoon on what to do next but he couldn’t get the words out. He wasn’t as charismatic or suave as him. Oh god, this isn’t him. He shouldn’t have blindingly trusted Seokjin hyung’s cherub-like smile and confident reassurances. He can’t do this, this is enough cheese to last him a lifetime of embarrassment. His brain goes haywire and decides the best course of action was to pour out his heart.
“I like you a lot Taehyung-ah. A lot.” Taehyung’s eyes get impossibly bigger.
“I pretty much had a crush on you since I first saw you and then afterwards my feelings for you kept growing. You make my heart stutter and every time I look at you, I wonder if this is how it feels to look at a clear night sky with millions of stars. Wondrous, beautiful, breathtaking. Because, you know, you can’t ever see that in Seoul with all the air pollution.” He winces at the last part, definitely shouldn’t have said that.
He looks down as his fingers absentmindedly begins to fiddle with his cardigan, and tries not to talk too fast.
“But it’s ironic that while my heart is racing at a hundred miles a minute, I feel at ease around you. I don’t have to carefully prepare what I want to say, figure out some social cue that I’m deigned to fail at, or overthink in general. Words come naturally to me and I love listening to you talk. I could literally listen to a podcast of your voice for hours. Actually, I was thinking earlier if I could record your laugh as my ringtone that’d be great too.” He adds in a little pathetically.
“I also figured out that the notes you were bringing in during the first couple times were actually Jimin’s. He didn’t tell me or anything I accidentally saw his notes and everything kind of made sense. So I thought I had a chance at this.” He gestures vaguely in between them, but it looks more like he’s rubbing an invisible crystal ball, so he stops.
“The point is, I really like you and if you give me a chance, I would take you out on a date. Maybe tonight if you’re free? But no pressure or anything! Please don’t feel like you have to answer now.”
Namjoon doesn’t dare lift up his eyes but he can definitely feel the heat of Taehyung’s gaze boring into his soul right now. His cheeks are burning right now and half of it is most certainly because of the sun and the other half is the word vomit that just happened. But a big part of him is relieved. He just took a huge burden off his chest and he feels his shoulders visibly relax. Despite what happens next, he’s happy he had the courage to do this much.
He’s thinking of maybe taking off his cardigan but thinks the better of it. He doesn’t want to move until Taehyung says something. There’s a light sheen of sweat on his forehead but he’d rather deal with that.
“So you found me out?” Taehyung shamelessly grins widely. It’s so bright and infectious that Namjoon can’t help but give him a shy smile back.
“I actually had to beg Jimin the first couples times to borrow his notes and after that he told me I was on my own. To be honest, I was super busy with a lot of projects so I didn’t pay attention as much I should have. I did start taking notes after that although sometimes I would get distracted.” He laughs unabashed, open.
His eyes twinkle as he says, “I’ve actually liked you a lot for awhile now too. I was definitely dropping hints about it but I wasn’t sure if I was reading you right. But I’d love to take up your date offer tonight.”
Namjoon blanks out. Maybe he really shouldn’t have held his breath for that long. He’s feeling a little light headed. But even with all that, he took away the most important thing.
“You like me?”
Taehyung looks confused.
“I mean, like...sorry. I think my soul left my body. So, you actually like me?”
Taehyung nods.
“Really?”
Taehyung gently cups Namjoon’s face, his thumbs resting lightly over his dimples. “Please stop doubting that. I really do like you.”
“Okay,” Namjoon softly says.
He then removes his hands and quietly asks, “Can I?” and lays his left palm up on Namjoon’s knee.
“Yeah.”
He takes Namjoon’s hand in his and loosely laces their fingers together. It feels nice, like that’s where it always belonged.
“Did you come up with that line yourself by the way?” Taehyung asks curiously.
Namjoon groans, “No. I had a friend help me plan that out. It was really cheesy I know.”
“I like cheesy. Both the joking kind and the food.”
Namjoon quietly laughs and Taehyung asks, “What’s funny?”
“I don’t know. I feel so light right now, like I’m floating in the clouds. Could also be because my soul is still not back yet. Just five minutes ago I was a nervous wreck and now I’m indescribably happy.” He gives Taehyung’s hand a small squeeze.
“Do you think you can get your soul back? I kind of need it right now.”
Namjoon’s not sure what that means and he’s about to ask before he feels a swift and soft kiss on his cheek, right where his dimple usually shows. Taehyung quickly pulls away. “Been wanting to do that. Was that okay?”
“Yup.” He croaks out. Okay, so maybe he’s still off floating in cloud nine.
He’s so close, mesmerized by the mole under his right eye and how long his lashes are. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” Namjoon asks.
“Yes” Taehyung answers in reply, his eyes fixed on Namjoon’s lips.
Namjoon closes the distance and the first thing he thinks is, even his lips taste like strawberries. It’s shy, like he’s not sure how much he should go for. It’s hesitant and gentle until Taehyung presses into his lips more intently, less shy more eager. Namjoon’s lips part in surprise but he welcomes it. His mind is buzzing. They continue to kiss until they hear a student coughing pointedly, reminding them that this was still a public space and still a library.
They pull away. Namjoon a bit flustered while Taehyung is as pleased as can be. They’re still holding hands and Taehyung nonchalantly brings the textbook back to his lap, “So where were we in our studying? Ah yes, the three components and consummate love. I think I’d like to try it out for myself. You know, for research and for the good of the class.”
Namjoon can’t help but laugh, full and immeasurably happy.