Work Text:
~ ~ O ~ ~
“Calm your knickers, Morgan…I’m coming.”
Bradley slides down onto the bed and into view next to Colin, and then leans forward to tap his finger against the webcam, making the picture shake.
“Hey, Cols…is this thing on?”
Colin turns and gives Bradley a droll look. “Of course it is; what do you take me for?”
“A eunuch who doesn’t know how to Internet?”
Colin elbows Bradley in the side and then holds up one long, sanctimonious finger. “One, I am not a eunuch, as you know quite well.” Then he holds up a second finger. “And two, I know how to use the Internet just fine, I simply make sure to avoid all the insanity…unlike some people I know. Whatever possessed you to write that ‘Ask Bradley’ tweet anyhow?”
“Copious amounts of alcohol and an excessive amount of boredom,” Bradley supplies with a wry smirk.
“Bet you’ll never do that again, yeah?”
“Well as Eoin would say, ‘Never say never…’”
“Yeah, well he would say that; he has no shame.”
“No, he really doesn’t,” Bradley agreed and then tapped a finger against the webcam again. “So who are we doing this for again?”
“Her name is Bunny. I told you that.”
“And why are we making a video for someone I don’t even know?”
Colin looks affronted. “Because it’s her birthday. And besides, you do know her; or at least know of her.”
“Oh really? And how exactly would I know her, Colin?”
“She was the one at Pierrefonds that last year who dressed up like Percival. Angel mentioned her in that Radio Times interview. All the crew members were taking photos with her that day, remember?”
Bradley’s face brightens. “Ah, yes! I recall that now. Wish I’d had knitted chainmail instead of the metal…” he sighs wistfully. “It would’ve been a damn sight warmer.”
“And lighter,” Colin offers.
“That, too.”
“Right. Well anyway, it’s her birthday, so here we are.”
Bradley looks sidelong at Colin. “How did you know that today was her birthday?”
Colin looks smug. “Because she told me.”
“Wait…when did she tell you?” Bradley harrumphs as he crosses his arms across his chest, looking more like a petulant child than a grown man.
“Last year.” Colin nods emphatically. “I’ll have you know that even though she could have done anything with her birthday, she chose to spend it with me…”
A distinctly envious glint appears in Bradley’s eyes. “Excuse me!?”
Colin strokes his fingers down the length of Bradley’s arm in a soothing gesture. “Calm down, you jealous git!” he laughs. “She came to see my play at The Globe. Sheesh!”
Bradley’s puffed-up chest deflates. “Oh all right, fine. I suppose that’s allowed.”
“You suppose?” Colin laughs again.
“Sorry, but I’m not very good at sharing,” Bradley pouts.
Colin cups Bradley’s jaw in one wide palm, pecking a kiss against his lips. “I know. Can’t say I mind it all that much, really.”
Bradley grins sappily and leans into Colin’s touch. “Good. Because no one’s getting near this arse but me.”
It’s quite evident by the way Colin startles that he just got pinched, even though it’s out of frame. “Quit it, James,” he scolds. His Irish lilt is exaggerated so that Bradley’s surname becomes two syllables instead of one. “This is supposed to be a family video.”
“Speaking of videos,” Bradley teases, “are ever going to make one? Because if not, I can think of some other things we could be doing with this camera…” He licks a line up the column of Colin’s neck, causing him to shiver.
“Down, boy,” Colin says with a grin, giving Bradley’s chest a playful shove to put a more appropriate amount of space between them. “Get back over there so we can do this thing, yeah? No need to give the fandom any more fodder.”
Bradley shrugs. “If you say so, although I’m not exactly sure how we could give the Merlin fandom any more queer-bait than there already is in the show.”
Colin sucks his full bottom lip between his teeth and gently gnaws at it in concentration while he fiddles with the computer keys. “Because so far it’s only been speculation. There’s been no proof that we’re together. And personally, I’d like to keep it that way.”
“Party pooper,” Bradley teases. “Now, are you going to start recording this thing or what?”
Creases form on Colin’s forehead as he frowns, still tapping away at his keyboard. “I’m trying to,” he insists. “But I can’t seem to get the webcam set to record…”
Bradley leans across Colin’s shoulder to study the program on the screen and then bites on his cheek to stifle a laugh. “Uh, Colin?”
“What!?” Colin grunts, clearly frustrated with his computer’s lack of cooperation.
“You are recording. You’ve been recording this whole time, Cols.”
Colin’s eyes widen to unnatural proportions. “What? No!” he breathes in shock.
Bradley nods and then smirks as he points to something on the computer screen. “Yeah. See this right here?”
Colin tilts his head back and groans, exposing his long alabaster throat to the camera. A tiny bruise that might just be the remains of a love bite is nestled where his neck meets the shoulder. “Oh, no!”
“Yep,” Bradley confirms, although he doesn’t seem nearly as upset about it as Colin does. “Guess our secret’s out now…”
Colin turns his head and stares at Bradley for a long time and then turns his plaintive blue gaze toward the camera. “Maybe not,” he says thoughtfully.
He drags Bradley closer in to the camera with him so the screen is filled with just their two faces. “Happy birthday, Bunny!” Colin says, his smile friendly even though there is still tension in his shoulders and in the crinkles around the corners of his eyes.
A moment later, Colin nudges Bradley and he follows suit. “Yeah, happy birthday! We hope it’s a good one!”
Colin purses his lips and then wets them nervously with the tip of his tongue. “So, erm…what you saw here on this video? I know it’s a lot to ask but…do you think you could keep this just between us? Please? I mean, it’s hard enough for Bradley and I to find time alone together. If everyone knew about us, it would be practically impossible.”
Bradley slings an arm around Colin’s shoulder and squeezes. “We’d really appreciate it,” he offers up to the camera before pecking a penitent kiss to Colin’s cheek.
“Oh, yeah…that’s gonna help make this video seem less gay, James,” Colin grouses.
“Mate, I’m pretty sure that ship has already sailed. Might as well let her know that we’re happy.”
Colin rests his head against Bradley’s shoulder with a soft smile playing about the edges of his mouth. “Well, we are that.” He sighs happily and closes his eyes.
Bradley busses a kiss to the crown of Colin’s head before turning to address the camera. “Look…Bunny, is it? I know you’re a big fan of Colin’s. He’s told me you come to just about everything he does.” He smiles fondly as his eyes stray toward his shoulder before making eye contact with the screen again. “Therefore, I’m sure you’re aware that Cols is an extremely shy and private person. He’s not ready for all this to become public knowledge just yet. So we’d really appreciate it if you’d keep our secret, all right? It’d mean a lot.”
Colin opens his eyes again and his face fairly glows with bliss. “It really would,” he agrees with a smile.
The two men sit there for several moments, content just to bask in each other’s closeness.
“Hey, Cols?” Bradley asks at last as he buries his face into the messy cloud of Colin’s hair and inhales its scent deeply.
“Mmm Hmm?” Colin hums, sounding almost half-asleep in his contentment.
“Next time you decide to do one of these video things…”
“Uh huh?”
"I’m working the webcam. You’re complete crap at it…”
Colin’s mouth hangs open and his blue eyes flash dangerously, and then…
“Why you…!” Colin huffs indignantly as he shoves at Bradley’s shoulder and then tackles him to the bed.
Bradley’s raucous laughter is the last thing Bunny hears before a grasping hand covers the camera lens and the screen goes black.
