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Language:
English
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Published:
2014-06-26
Completed:
2014-10-08
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5,661
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4/4
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The Great Fandom Bake Off

Summary:

Basically what would happen if a bunch of fictional characters took part in the Great British Bake Off

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Round 1

Chapter Text

“One tent, eight bakers, four teams and four cakes. Welcome to round one the Great Fandom Bake Off” Mel and Sue chorused, and the camera panned around the tent, where four workstations were set up with two people stood at each.
“Today in the bake off tent we have Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, the dynamic and ambiguously gay consulting detective duo”
“I’m not gay!” John shouted down the camera, and Sherlock rolled his eyes as the camera moved to the next station.
“And here we have James Moriarty and Loki Laufeyson”
“Jim Moriarty. Hi” Jim waved at the camera, smiling widely.
“I am Loki of Asgard and I am burdened with glorious baking abilities” Loki glared down the camera. “You will kneel before me!”
“Um... thanks Loki” the camera quickly moved onto the next station.
“Team three consists of Tom Riddle and Inspector Gadget”
“My name isn’t Tom Riddle, honestly, look, you rearrange the letters in my name, look, ‘Tom Marvolo Riddle’ and it spells ‘I am Lord Voldemort’ you stupid muggles...”
“Inspector Gadget at your service” a hand extended from the inspector’s hat, brandishing a bouquet of flowers.
“And finally, Team Four is Thor Odinson and a man calling himself ‘the Doctor’”
“Hello!” the Doctor waved at the camera, grinning.
“What is this?” Thor shouted, holding up the whisk, and the Doctor bit back a laugh as he prised the whisk from Thor’s hand and set it down.
“It’s a whisk, don’t break it, we need it” he muttered as Paul, Mary, Sue and Mel stepped up to the front.
“Okay, teams, today we would like an iced sponge cake of your design. It must be neatly presented and be an even bake. So on your marks...” Sue paused.
“Get set...” Mel chipped in.
“Bake!” they shouted together.
“Oh, one moment, we have another independent judge coming to watch” Paul added, and Sherlock paled when his brother walked in, and John tugged his sleeve.
“Sherlock?” he asked. “We need to start”
“One moment, we’ll start in a minute if you’ll help me with something” Sherlock muttered, digging through his pockets and pulling out a coil of rope.
“What do you have rope for?” John asked, confused. “What are you doing?”
“We need to restrain my brother” Sherlock replied, tackling Mycroft when his back was turned. “John, help!” he called, wrestling Mycroft to the ground and tying him up with the rope with help from John.
“Oh Sherlock, honestly” Mycroft rolled his eyes. “People are going to think that you don’t trust your own brother”
“Well, they’d be right” Sherlock muttered through gritted teeth. “I don’t trust you when it comes to cake” he shoved Mycroft into the corner. “Don’t you dare escape” he added, heading back to his station with John.
“Why don’t you trust him with cake?” John asked as he started measuring out flour and butter whilst Sherlock lined some cake tins.
“Because I happened to walk in on him doing unspeakable things to a cake” Sherlock shuddered. “Don’t ask me about it again, John, please, it’s a horrible mental image I can’t get rid of”
“Alright, sorry” John muttered, and Sherlock glanced at him briefly as the camera panned across to focus on Voldemort and Inspector Gadget. Voldemort was weighing out the ingredients, whilst Gadget had decided to start mixing them in the bowl.
“This must be the mixing thing” Gadget frowned, picking up Voldemort’s wand and starting to mix the ingredients. Voldemort looked up in time to see his wand snap, half buried in the cake mixture and half in Gadget’s hand.
“You stupid filthy muggle! Look what you’ve done!” he screamed. “As soon as I get a new wand I am going to Avada Kedavra your arse, Gadget!”
“I’m terribly sorry” Gadget muttered as Voldemort continued to shout obscenities at Gadget, and the camera quickly panned onto Thor and the Doctor.
“Just add a little dash of my secret ingredient... You’d better not have shown the world that” he warned the camera man. “Thor, what are you doing?”
“What is this contraption?” Thor asked, examining the mixer, before raising his hammer and smashing it to pieces. “Is it meant to do that?”
“Course it isn’t, you broke it!” the Doctor huffed, pulling out his sonic screwdriver.
“No sonics!” Paul called, and the Doctor huffed again, sliding the screwdriver back into his pocket.
“Guess we’re mixing it by hand then” he muttered.
“You’ve got one and a half hours left!” Sue called out, and the Doctor muttered a rude word in an alien language.
“Time is not the boss of me!” he bellowed, running towards the TARDIS parked in the corner, when Mary stepped up to stand in front of it, her arms folded.
“No time travel” she insisted, and his shoulders slumped.
“Awww please?” he whined, and she shook her head, and he moved back reluctantly to his station. He wasn’t stupid enough to pick a fight with Mary Berry.
“Can you let me go now?” Mycroft called, and the entire tent turned to glare at him, having over-heard Sherlock’s conversation with John.
“NO!” they shouted, but Inspector Gadget, who hadn’t been paying attention, stepped forward.
“Certainly good sir” a hand extended from his hat, clutching a pair of scissors, and just as he was about to cut the rope, Sherlock tackled him.
“Don’t!” he shouted, leaning close and whispering his story to Gadget, who straightened, staring at Mycroft, disgusted.
“Well, dear sir, that is quite frankly vulgar and repulsive behaviour” he turned and marched away, and Mycroft glared at his brother, who smirked, before returning to help John ice the cake.

After three hours of shouting, crashing and obscenities, four cakes were presented at the end of each team bench, and Paul and Mary stepped up to the Doctor and Thor’s efforts first whilst Mycroft eyed the cakes from where he was still tied in the corner.
Their efforts consisted of a TARDIS shaped cake with a hammer made of icing balanced on the roof, and Thor watched proudly as Paul cut a slice of the cake.
“Not bad, apart from the icing. Is it meant to be such a strong flavour of blueberry?” Paul asked.
“Blueberry? I do not understand...” Thor frowned, and the Doctor rolled his eyes.
“You made the icing, not me” he muttered as the judges moved on to Voldemort and Gadget’s creation.
“Is this... shaped like... a nose?” Mary asked, frowning, and Voldemort nodded.
“It is! In memory of the magnificent nose I once had” he gestured to his face, watching as they took a slice of cake. “Ohh, there goes my beautiful nose again” he sighed as Paul nearly choked on the cake.
“Interesting flavoured sponge... what is it?”
“I put jelly beans in it!” Gadget smiled proudly.
“Interesting” Mary looked at Paul, and they silently moved across to Jim and Loki. “The quietest duo we’ve had today”
“We work well together” Jim shrugged, and Loki snorted.
“Speak for yourself, mortal. I only want the trophy and the earth”
“Well, the earth isn’t actually part of the prize” Paul muttered. “Nice cake, though... in the shape of a... dead body? And... what’s the blood made from?” he asked.
“Jam” Jim grinned. “And it’s his body” he pointed at Sherlock. “Falling’s just like flying, Sherlock”
“Shut up” Sherlock muttered.
“Great” Mary tugged Paul’s sleeve, and they moved across to John and Sherlock’s creation. “Well, this one certainly looks artistic. A ship?”
“Yes” Sherlock grinned, sliding his arm around John’s shoulders as they inspected the name he had piped in swirly letters across the hull of the ship.
“HMS... Johnlock?” Paul asked.
“A combination of our names, of course!” John replied. “Please don’t sink our ship, there’s a mean man called Moffat who has done that enough times already...”
“Well, looks like we’re going to have a hard time judging these!” Mary glanced at Paul as Mel and Sue ushered the contestants outside. “I think I know who has won”
“Me too. No contest, really” he sighed. “Interesting entries, though. A dead body, a nose, a spaceship and hammer and a ship..."
“Let’s hope they agree with your decision though” Mel muttered as Sue went to fetch the contestants.

“Our star baker duo this week is...” Sue paused for effect. “Everyone’s favourite detective duo, Sherlock and John!” she cheered, and Mel joined in with Mary and Paul as they clapped, handing the bakers the glass trophy. “Congratulations!”
“No!” Voldemort screamed. “What’s wrong with my nose?” he demanded, brandishing his broken wand at Mary, only to be pushed out of the way by John, whilst Jim picked up a blowtorch and started chasing Paul around the tent.
“Give me the trophy! Or I will burn the heart out of you!” he screamed as Thor turned and smashed the fridge.
“I want the glass of shining power!” he bellowed.
“Well, err... I’ll be off now...” the Doctor ran into the TARDIS and disappeared within seconds.
“I knew it! You two are MAD agents!” Gadget shouted, starting to chase Mel and Sue. “Stop in the name of the law!”
“Sherlock, whilst we’re here and we’ve won...” John paused. “I need to tell you, I am not straight, I am incredibly, completely, one hundred percent gay and in love with you”
“As am I, my dear John” Sherlock pulled John against him. “Kiss me, my handsome John” he pressed his lips to John’s, and whilst people were distracted, Mycroft escaped his bonds, picked up the abandoned nose cake and ran from the tent, and Loki jumped up on the worktop and raised his sceptre.
“YOU WILL KNEEL BEFORE ME!” he shouted, and everyone hurriedly knelt on their knees, and he turned to the still filming camera. “That goes for everyone watching. KNEEL!” he bellowed, and Mel crouched in front of the camera.
“Well, that’s it for an eventful week on the Great Fandom Bake Off. See you next week”

Chapter 2: Round 2

Chapter Text

“One tent, eight bakers, four teams and four cakes. Welcome to round two of the Great Fandom Bake Off” Mel and Sue chorused, and the camera panned around the tent, where four workstations were set up with two people stood at each.
“Today in the bake off tent we have the famous Professor Charles Xavier and his boyfriend Erik Lehnsherr”
Charles, who was holding hands with Erik, waved at the camera, and Erik nodded curtly.
“Team number two is Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, who agreed to fly in especially from the US to take part today”
“Seriously, if we don’t win, Steve, I don’t see the point in being here” Tony muttered.
“Be nice” Steve muttered back. “It’s not about winning, it’s about taking part”
“Whatever”
“And team number three consists of Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood, who have also flown in from New York to take part”
“Magnus, stop eating the glitter now, we need it for the cake!” Alec scolded, snatching the pot of edible glitter from Magnus, who poked his glitter coated tongue out at the camera, which panned across to the final bench.
“And finally, team four is Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, who have taken a break from studying at Hogwarts School to take part today”
“Hermione, what’s this muggle contraption?” Ron asked, picking up the whisk, and Hermione bit back a smile.
“It’s a whisk” she replied, prising it from his hand. “Leave it” she added as Paul, Mary, Mel and Sue stepped up to the front, all wearing strange looking helmets.
“Okay, teams, today we would like an iced sponge cake of your design. It must be neatly presented and be an even bake. So on your marks...” Sue paused.
“Get set....”
“Bake!”
“Right, Erik, you can start measuring out the ingredients” Charles pointed to the recipe and the scales.
“What are you doing?” Erik asked sulkily as he measured out butter, eggs and sugar.
“Lining the baking tins” Charles replied, glancing around the tent.
“Hermione...” Ron muttered.
“What is it, Ronald?” Hermione asked.
“Why can’t we just use magic?” he asked as Mary Berry approached. “Hi”
“The answer to your question, Mr Weasley, is that magic isn’t permitted in the Bake Off Tent” she smiled.
“Can I ask about the helmet?” Hermione asked.
“It’s because Charles can control minds, and we don’t want to be swayed by his power during the judging. These helmets block his power” she replied.
“They look weird” Ron muttered, looking up as Steve and Tony started arguing.
“I said FOUR eggs, not three!” Tony shouted.
“When I asked if three was right you said yes! Make up your mind!” Steve snapped. Tony picked up the electric whisk.
“C’mere and let me whisk something else for you” he snapped. “I don’t care if you’re a Captain, I don’t talk orders from anybody”
“Threatening each other won’t help, you know” Paul smirked, and Tony’s eyes narrowed, and he started mixing the ingredients, muttering under his breath as the camera panned round to Magnus and Alec.
“Magnus, what are you doing?” Alec asked as Magnus muttered something under his breath over the mixing bowl.
“I hope you’re not cheating” Mary’s eyes narrowed. “No... magic or whatever allowed”
“I was only mixing the ingredients” Magnus blinked innocently.
“As long as that’s all you were doing” Mary’s eyes narrowed and she folded her arms. “Anyone who cheats is disqualified”
Magnus opened his mouth to say something else, but caught sight of the look in Mary’s eyes, and thought better of it, knowing that nothing escaped the notice of Mary Berry.

Three hours later after several crashes, arguments and Steve sporting a black eye, four cakes were presented, and Mary and Paul moved to Ron and Hermione’s bench first.
“A spell book” Paul blinked, reading the words piped across the cake. “This says ‘Wingardium Leviosa’”
“Yes” Hermione glanced at Ron and giggled, and he rolled his eyes, sliding his arm around her shoulders comfortingly whilst they cut a slice of the cake.
“And the flavour... ginger?”
“To match my hair” Ron grinned.
“It’s definitely got just the right amount of ginger” Mary murmured. “I like it”
“Me too. The only criticism I would have is that it’s a tad dry” Paul added. “But overall, a good bake”
“Thank you” Hermione smiled as they moved on to Steve and Tony’s bench.
“Oh dear, what happened to you?” Mel asked Steve, who was holding a pack of ice to his bruised eye.
“He hit me in the face”
“By accident!” Tony added quickly as they examined the cake in the shape of a circular shield with a white star in the centre.
“Now this one is certainly interesting. I’m guessing the design is based on the American flag?” Paul inquired, cutting a slice of the cake.
“Yes, it is” Steve shot Tony a look.
“I like how you’ve layered the three different coloured sponges” Mary indicated the red, blue and plain sponges. “And the flavours go well together”
“Thanks” Tony muttered. “Of course, it would have looked better if I’d been allowed design input”
“Shut up Tony, there’s nothing wrong with my design” Steve muttered.
“Keep talking and I’ll black your other eye” Tony snapped. “On purpose”
“Well, thank you” Paul hurried Mary across to Magnus and Alec. “This is an interesting design... such an unusual shape”
“It’s an angelic rune” Alec explained. “Although the glitter was all Magnus’s idea”
“There certainly is... a lot of glitter” Mary stared at the sparkling cake, watching Paul cut a slice.
“The sponge is good, the icing is incredibly sweet, and in my opinion there is too much glitter” Paul sighed. “Other than the icing, well done”
“I think it’s fantastic” Sue gave them a thumbs up. “Nothing wrong with a bit of glitter”
“My thoughts exactly. You can never have too much glitter” Magnus smiled winningly as they moved across to Charles and Erik. Charles smiled, and Erik glared defiantly, his arms folded.
“This is definitely the most artistic cake we’ve had today” Paul examined the carefully piped strand of DNA.
“It’s what makes us different” Erik explained. “DNA is the key to unlocking the future”
“Indeed. Evolution has taken us from single celled organisms to being the dominant species on the planet, and all through mutation” Charles watched them cut a slice.
“The sponge is an excellent, even bake, and the icing is just the right balance with the sponge” Paul smiled. “Well done”
“Okay, everyone, we need you to leave the tent for a few minutes whilst Paul and Mary decide who is going through to the final in two weeks’ time!” Mel ushered everyone out of the tent before turning to Paul and Mary. “So have we got a finalist?”
“I think so” Mary looked up at Paul, who nodded.
“Yes. Hopefully we won’t have a repeat of last week when we announce the winner” his eyes flickered with memory, remembering Loki demanding everyone kneel. It had taken the combined efforts of all of the other contestants to subdue him.
“Alright then. Hopefully they agree with your choice”

Sue ushered everyone back into the tent, and smiled fondly as Hermione grabbed Ron’s hand, Charles caught Erik’s hand, Magnus slid his arm around Alec and Tony folded his arms, angling himself away from Steve.
“Well, today it was very difficult to decide who will be going through to the final, but after a very long discussion, we have decided that our star baker duo this week is Charles and Erik!” Mel clapped, and Erik swept Charles into a hug. “Who managed to pull off an excellent bake without influencing people’s thoughts!”
“Thank you!” Charles grinned.
“See, Steve, I told you that you should have followed my design idea!” Tony snapped, turning and marching from the tent.
“I’d... better go after him” Steve hastily ran after his team mate. “Tony, wait!” he called.
“What was wrong with our cake?” Ron asked Hermione, who shook her head.
“Nothing, Ronald, nothing at all” she smiled up at him. “We’re winners in our own way”
“Well, after a slightly less eventful afternoon in the Bake Off tent, Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr will go through to the final in a couple of weeks time where they will face last week’s winners, Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, along with our star baker duo from next week’s round! See you next week!” Sue waved down the camera cheerfully.

Chapter 3

Summary:

Round three on the Great Fandom Bake Off

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“One tent, eight bakers, four teams and four cakes. Welcome to round three of the Great Fandom Bake Off” Mel and Sue chorused, and the camera panned around the tent, where four workstations were set up with two people stood at each.
“Team one consists of Dr Sheldon Cooper and Dr Amy Farrah-Fowler, who have flown in specially all the way from Pasadena California to be here today”
“It wasn’t special, it’s a compulsory vacation” Sheldon protested.
“Don’t spoil it Sheldon” Amy hissed, nudging him as the camera panned round to the second station.
“Also flown in from Long Island, New York we have team two, Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase” the camera focused on two teenagers restlessly fiddling with the equipment. “Our youngest contestants on the Great Fandom Bake Off at only sixteen years old”
Percy waved at the camera, reaching out and taking Annabeth’s hand gently before the camera panned to the third station.
“And team three consists of District 12’s favourite baker Peeta Mellark and his girlfriend the Mockingjay, Katniss Everdeen”
“Katniss, pay attention” Peeta nudged her, and she tore her gaze from a squirrel outside the tent to look down the camera, which quickly panned to the fourth station.
“And finally, team four consist of Chad Danforth and Ryan Evans, fresh out of East High School in Albquerque in New Mexico” the camera focused on the two boys, one of which was sporting a blue baseball cap, who did a little tap dance when the camera focused on him. The other boy nudged him.
“We are not dancing now!” he muttered.
“Sorry”
“Okay, teams, today we would like an iced sponge cake of your design. It must be neatly presented and be an even bake. So on your marks...” Sue paused.
“Get set....”
“Bake!”
“Come on, Sheldon, are you going to help me?” Amy asked, measuring out butter.
“What am I doing here? I don’t know how to bake...” Sheldon muttered. “You’ve gone one gram over the listed measurement, the structure of the cake...” the camera panned across to Chad and Ryan, who had swapped his baseball cap for a chef’s hat.
“Do you have to wear the hat?” Chad muttered.
“Yes” Ryan replied as the camera moved to focus on Katniss and Peeta.
“Right, Katniss, I need you to line the cake tines, okay?”
“What are you doing then?” she asked, watching him switch on the scales.
“Measuring ingredients” he replied. “What does it look like?”
“I don’t know, I don’t bake, you’re the baker’s boy” she muttered, lining the tins as the camera moved to Percy and Annabeth. Percy, who was measuring ingredients, spilt some flour down his shirt, and Annabeth rolled her eyes as Mary Berry approached.
“Can I ask what your recipe is written in?” she asked, peering at the symbols.
“Ancient Greek, easier for us to read” she replied. “Percy, you’d better be getting that in the mixing bowl”
“I am, I am” Percy muttered, nearly knocking the mixer off the top with his elbow. “Woops”
“Please don’t break that, we need it” Annabeth muttered.

Three hours, several crashes, arguments, Ryan nearly tripping up as he danced around the tent after Percy who had stolen his hat and a sulking Sheldon later and four cakes were presented at the end of each bench, and Mary and Paul moved to Katniss and Peeta’s station first.
“Butterflies, very pretty” Mary smiled.
“It certainly looks appealing, but does it taste as good as it looks?” Paul asked, cutting a slice of the sponge whilst Peeta slid his arm around Katniss’s shoulders.
“Excellent sponge, really good bake, well done” Mary smiled as they moved onto the next bench, where Percy and Annabeth were stood. “Oh dear, what happened here?” she asked.
“Someone took the icing out of the fridge before it had set properly” Annabeth glared at Peeta.
“I see” Paul cut a slice of the cake. “Good sponge, even if the icing is a bit... melted”
“Sorry about that” Percy muttered. “It was his fault, he wanted to get his stupid butterflies in the fridge.
“We’ll take that into consideration when we judge the entries” Mary smiled reassuringly as they moved onto Sheldon and Amy. Sheldon was stood facing the other way, arms folded, glaring at the worktop.
“Had a bit of a domestic?” Paul inquired, smirking.
“He’s just being stubborn, he does this at times, just ignore him” Amy replied.
“Well, this looks... smart” Mary stared at the atom shaped cake. “What is it meant to be? I understand it’s an atom of some kind... oxygen?”
“Oxygen?” Sheldon asked in disbelief, which was the first thing he had uttered for over an hour. “That is a radon atom, the sixth Noble Gas, it looks nothing like an Oxygen molecule, and for Oxygen to be stable there would be two atoms...”
“Be quiet Sheldon” Amy muttered, and he huffed as they tasted the cake.
“It certainly tastes excellent” Paul muttered, glancing at Mary, who nodded as they moved across to Chad and Ryan, who had recovered his hat.
“What do we have here? A baseball field?” she asked, looking at the neatly iced sponge.
“Yep” Chad rolled his eyes, glancing at Ryan. “I still don’t dance”
“I know you can” Ryan smirked.
“Not a chance” Chad replied as they cut a slice of the cake.
“Well, it’s a nice even bake, and neatly iced and decorated as well, with just the right amount of flavouring”
“I think it’s going to be difficult to judge all these” Mary smiled as the contestants were ushered from the tent and Paul went to examine each cake again.

Sue ushered everyone back into the tent, and smiled fondly as Percy slid his arms around Annabeth, Katniss took Peeta’s hand, Sheldon stepped away from Amy and Chad tried to steal Ryan’s flat cap.
“After a very long discussion, we have to unfortunately disqualify one of our teams today” Mel murmured in a serious tone of voice. “Katniss and Peeta, you have been disqualified for hijacking Percy and Annabeth’s cake by removing their icing from the fridge. If you could please leave the tent” she waved at the door, and they left, heads bowed, looking ashamed, and once they were gone, Sue clapped her hands.
“Well, today it was very difficult to decide who will be going through to the final, but after a very long discussion, we have decided that our star baker duo this week is Chad and Ryan!”
Ryan beamed, and pulled Chad into a hug, who wriggled, trying to escape.
“Thank you!” Ryan grinned, although his grin faded when Sheldon stormed off.
“Excuse me” Amy muttered, running after him.
“Well, after a very relaxed afternoon in comparison to the events of the other week, Ryan and Chad will go through to the final where they will face Sherlock Holmes and John Watson and Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr” Sue and Mel waved at the camera. “Don’t forget to tune in next week for the final!”

Notes:

Sorry for the slight delay and for the shorter chapter... I will begin working on the final shortly ;) Stay tuned

Chapter 4: The Final

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“One tent, six bakers, three teams. Welcome to the final of the Great Fandom Bake Off” Mel and Sue chorused, and the camera panned around the tent, where three workstations were set up with two people stood at each.
“Team one, our winners from round one, Sherlock Holmes and John Watson” the camera focused on the tall young man stood beside the slightly shorter man in a knitted jumper.
“Hey!” John waved at the camera, which quickly panned to the second station.
“And here we have team two, our winners from round two, Professor Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr"
“Hey guys!” Charles waved at the camera, and grabbed Erik’s wrist, forcing him to wave as well.
“Stop it Charles” Erik wrenched his arm from his grip.
“Sorry” Charles muttered as the camera panned to the final station.
“And finally, team three, Chad Danforth and Ryan Evans, sporting a very lovely fedora hat”
Chad rolled his eyes as Ryan spun in a circle on his heel and winked at the camera.
“Okay, teams, today, Mary and Paul have two tasks for you. The first is to bake 12 scones of your choice. The second task is to recreate the cake that earned you your place in the final. You will be serving your bakes to all of the teams who didn’t make it into the final” Mel smiled. “So on your marks...”
“Get set...” Sue added.
“BAKE!” they both called at the same time.
“Right, Sherlock, come on, we need to start” John muttered, weighing out ingredients. “What are you doing?”
“The recipe says a four inch cutter, this is three point nine” Sherlock replied, measuring the cutter with a ruler.
“Sherlock, point one of an inch isn’t going to make a difference”
“It might” Sherlock replied. “It could ruin the scones"
“It’s not going to ruin the scones, Sherlock, they’re standard cutters all that size” John sighed irritably. “Come on, stop fussing over cutters”
"Fine, sorry" Sherlock huffed as the camera panned to Ryan and Chad.
"Will you stop dancing for just a few hours or even minutes?"
"No" Ryan replied, spinning on the spot. Chad sighed, striding across with a whisk in one hand and wrenching the head phones from his teammate's ears.
"I said no headphones!"
"But... My dance show" Ryan pouted.
"We're in a baking show, dancing is later! I might actually want to win this" Chad snapped.
"Sorry" Ryan mumbled, and the camera panned to the final station.
"Can't you just use your telepathy?" Erik muttered, stirring some mixture without touching the metal spoon.
"No mutant powers allowed" Mary spoke firmly, stood in front of the bench with her arms folded.
"But-" Erik broke off when both Charles and Mary glared at him.
"No means no, Erik" Charles sighed. "None of the others are mutants"
"It's not my fault they're unevolved" Erik muttered.
"Erik!" Charles sounded shocked and appalled. "Apologise!"
"Its true though"
"Apologise!" Charles shouted.
"Make me" Erik folded his arms and Charles shook his head.
"No Erik. Apologise now or we're through"
"You're... Breaking up with me?" Erik sounded surprised.
"I am, yes I don't want such a rude, obnoxious boyfriend" Charles replied. "I thought you were over this discriminatory thing, but clearly I was wrong"
"But Charles..." Erik looked not just heartbroken, he looked as though his entire world had come crumbling down around him. Whilst he pretended otherwise in public, he loved Charles with all his heart and was willing to give his life to save him. Charles stared at him for a long agonising moment before shaking his head sadly.
"I honestly thought better of you Erik"

The camera then panned to the outside are where all of the eliminated teams were waiting, talking excitedly and speculating who they thought was going to win. Percy was still glaring venomously at Peeta, having not forgiven him for removing the icing that had cost him a place in the final.
"Who do you think is going to win then Loki?" Voldemort asked.
"Me" Loki grinned.
"It doesn't quite work like that" Jim pointed out. "We're not in the final"
"Shut up mortal" Loki snapped.
"Look, Percy, I hope there's no hard feelings between us" Peeta leaned across to talk to Percy, who huffed and folded his arms.
"You ruined our cake on purpose" Percy muttered. "But sure, I forgive you"
"I hope that means you're not going to keep ranting about it?" Annabeth inquired. "Honestly, he didn't stop moaning" she added to Katniss.
"Peeta wouldn't shut up about it either. He felt really bad" she replied. "Who do you think is going to win?"
"That dancer guy Ryan and Chad are pretty good, did you see the piping work on the icing? Really top quality" Peeta sighed. "Rivals even my icing" he added as the camera panned to where Inspector Gadget was talking to Steve and Tony. Or rather, he was talking at them, they weren't paying much attention they were too busy arguing about who would win.
"Its going to be Sherlock and the short one" Tony insisted.
"No, its going to be Charles and Erik, they're such a sweet couple" Steve replied.
"Sherlock and his guy are even cuter" Tony snapped.
"Yeah well, we're voting for Charles!"
"We're voting for Sherlock!"
"Does anyone want some flowers?" Gadget asked, a hand extending from his hat holding a bouquet of flowers.
"Nobody wants any stupid flowers!" Tony shouted.
"Don't be rude!" Steve snapped.

After three hours of shouting, arguments and break ups both inside and outside the tent, the three final teams each carried a tray of scones and a cake out to the table at the side where there were photos of the teams. "Thank you all for coming" Paul smiled at everyone. "After four chaotic weeks we are ready to decide the winner of the first fandom bake off. Our finalists are Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, our winners from week one, Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr, our winners from week two, and Chad Danforth and Ryan Evans, our winners from week three" Everyone clapped, and Paul waved his hands for quiet so Mary could speak. "Those of you who did not make it to the final, we ask you to sample our finalists bakes and then vote using the cards on your table and bring them up to the front and we'll count the votes" "Charles?" Erik asked whilst they all voted. "What?" Charles folded his arms. Erik sighed and turned to Mary, who was watching Paul count the votes. "Um... Excuse me... Miss Berry?" "Yes?" She asked, looking up. "I want to apologise to you for what I said earlier, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to call you unevolved. I think you're a really nice person and a fantastic baker" "Thank you" she looked surprised as Charles turned to Erik. "You apologised" he smiled. "I know. I'm sorry, Charles, I really am. I didn't mean to upset you" "I forgive you" Charles lightly kissed his cheek. "All votes have been counted!" Mel called, and everyone went quiet. "We can now reveal that with five votes, a very close call, the winner of the Great Fandom Bake Off is..." She paused for effect. Charles grabbed Erik's hand, John grabbed Sherlock and Ryan hugged Chad. "Sherlock and John!" Mel cried, picking up the trophy and handing it to them. "Congratulations!" Together Sherlock and John lifted the glass trophy reading ‘Great Fandom Bake Off Winners 2014’ in swirly writing. John was crying with happiness as he slid one arm around Sherlock’s waist, and Sherlock himself looked close to tears as well. Charles and Erik were the first to congratulate them. “Well done” Erik smiled. “You’re close enough to a mutant anyway” he added to Sherlock, who looked surprised. “Erik” Charles warned. “Sorry, I thought it was a compliment” Erik muttered as everyone else present ran forward and lifted John and Sherlock on their shoulders, cheering. Mel and Sue were applauding and joining in the cheers, when they heard a shout from Paul Hollywood himself. “Kiss him!” he shouted, and a half second later Mary joined in. “Kiss him!” she shouted, and suddenly the air was thick with chants calling for Sherlock and John to kiss. Sherlock shrugged at John. “Might as well, I love you enough” he replied. “Love you too, Sherlock” John leaned closer and kissed Sherlock passionately to even louder applause. “Well, that’s it from the Great Fandom Bake Off.... hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have!" Mel grinned, waving down the camera.

Notes:

There we have it, the end of the first ever Great Fandom Bake Off.... seriously, this started out as a joke with me and my friend, and now it's one of my biggest hits and for that I thank you :D
Seen as this was such a hit, I was tossing a few ideas around about a second series, but of course you'd have to wait until next year!
So if there is any characters you want to see compete in the Great Fandom Bake Off? Let me know ;)

Note Added April 2015:
Unfortunately due to severe writer's block and other things happening at the moment, I won't be writing any more from the Bake Off Tent.
Apologies to all who submitted request for series 2

Notes:

So suddenly this one has gone from being complete to incomplete... I'm planning on another two rounds of Fandom Bake Off and then a final between the winners from each round... stay tuned ;)