Chapter Text
10 More Seconds. Just hold on for 10 more seconds.
It was something her grandfather had always said to her. A Vietnam vet who always had a word of advice or a way to fight through something. It started when she was 11. Tuesdays and Thursdays were P.E. days, and they always started the same - with running.
She was no runner.
It was never from lack of trying though. She always wanted to be a good runner, had always had this romanticized fantasy of running freely through the woods or a lush forest, with nothing but a clear head and the wind rushing around her. An escape. For so long it had sounded like heaven to her. In theory, anyways. In practice...
She was no runner.
Regardless of the determination to improve and all the practice she had put in to increasing her cardio and speed skills it never seemed to matter much. By the end of the year she had only improve her time by roughly five seconds, a trend that continued until she graduated high school. It also didn't help matters that puberty had not been at all kind to her. Her previous baby fat had multiplied and solidified and, despite her mother's desperate attempts to make her only daughter 'beautiful' again, it wouldn't go away and would stick with her late into her senior year. And, naturally, of course, all the other kids were very good and consistent in letting her know that it was her weight that made her so slow. And lazy. And worthless. And...all the other cruel things kids are known to say. So when her 11 year old self had come home in tears one afternoon and was caught by her grandfather before she could make it to the shelter of her room, he refused to release her until she came clean about what had been bothering her. And just like always when it was only him and her, she caved quickly.
He let her cry everything out, continuously wiped her tears away while she launched into the long winded speech about how horrible her life was and how it would never get any better, and cleaned up her running nose when she finished with a much too dramatic declaration that she would never, ever, in her entire life, be happy again. He helped her through it and watched it all with practiced patience and minor amusement, that she luckily was too young and distraught to catch, speckling his warm brown eyes.
When she had finally wrapped it all up and had calmed down enough to quell the hiccups that always followed when she had a big crying fit, he removed her from the knee he had had her perched upon and stood her directly in front of him so he could look her straight in the eye.
"Now you listen to me little bird. The most important thing you can do in life is try. There's nothing wrong in not being able to do something, and no shame in having to ask for help, but you have to at least try. So, whenever you feel like you can't do something, or that you have nothing left to give - just hold on for 10 more seconds."
She had simply nodded along and then finally retreated to her room when he allowed her to be excused. She never would have said it, least of all to him, but it had sounded dumb to her at the time. What didn't he get? If she could hold on any longer then it wouldn't be such a problem. But then she got older and, thankfully before his 69th birthday and subsequent death the day after, she realized he had only been planting the seeds for her to harvest later on in life.
And so, as she stood here now, practically dead on her feet already, her head, along with the entire world around her it seemed, spinning so badly she couldn't even take a guess as to what was up or down and ready to just throw in the towel already, she managed to get a slight glimpse of something off to the side of her peripheral vision.
Brown eyes. Brown eyes that were never suppose to even be here. Big, dark and oh so depending that she instantly knew. This was one of those times.
Just 10 more seconds. Hold on for just 10. More. Seconds.
With one last spurt of gas she knew she shouldn't possibly have left, she dug down with everything she could muster and pushed against her current road block with everything she had. Her whole body screamed in protest and in her mind, she let out a primal scream for survival. She was almost positive she didn't, but it sounded good and seemed like a cool mental image to motivate herself with.
Just as she began to wonder what on earth this fucking couch was made of to make it so heavy and unmoving, she heard the scraping of wood on wood just before the whole thing lurched forward against the infinitely lighter book case she had first manged to brace against the door.
She collapsed to the floor and against the side of the couch. She took only a moment then made to reposition herself, but only managed to turn slightly so that she fell back and was now resting against the wall.
She just needed to close her eyes.
Everything was so loud. Her heartbeat pounding at every pulse point, the blood rushing in her ears. It was all so deafening. She just needed it to quiet down some.
After some time, she couldn't know how long, the rushing slowed. The pounding lessened. Soon she was able to start catching hints of other things. Her ragged breathing. The hungry growls from the walkers that were still digging and clawing to get in. Then, just barely but there all the same, soft shuffling. It was that sound that called for her to reopen her eyes.
Brown. That's what she was met with. The familiar, warm brown eyes that were big and staring as always. Her vision was really starting to cloud heavier at the edges now and she couldn't help but to wonder if perhaps she was already dead, the way he seemed to just stare straight through her. But then his hand came up, clutching the same damn yellow hanky he was never without, and slowly started to wipe at the blood that had gushed from her nose and stained over her lips as it seeped down. There were other places. So many other places. But this was the area that seemed to cause him the most concern and it was that little bit of comforting touch that finally allowed her to release her breath.
They were fine. They were safe. For now only, maybe, but that was all that mattered. They just needed some time. Time to sort things out. Time to reevaluate. Time to just...be.
She wasn't even aware that her head had lolled off to the side. She wasn't aware of the concerned brown eyes that followed the movement.
She just needed a minute. Just a few minutes to rest up. That's all.
Just 10 more seconds.