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It wasn’t something he necessarily felt it was worth sharing with others. From his experience, folks tended to treat you differently when they learned about it, so he always just kept his mouth shut about it. Besides, he could function just fine through the occasional bursts of pain. Sure, it caused him to take more time when completing his usual routines, but it wasn’t anything that really held an impact or inhibited his ability to do anything.
That’s what the mumrik was repeating to himself as he lay on the ground in his tent, tail twitching in frustration as pain flared in his spine. Now, to put it simply, this was quite far from ideal. See, he had promised Moomintroll that they would go fishing by the beach. There wasn’t much doubt in his mind that Little My would find a way to tag along, but it wasn’t like he minded too much. No, what he did mind was the possibility of having his dear friend find him curled up on the floor, hardly able to move.
What am I going to do about this? he thought, rolling over onto his stomach. His chest ached with the action, but Snufkin chose to not pay it much mind (which was a lie, as one cannot truly ignore the feeling of their body being wracked with pain). I can get through this. Yes, it may be one of those worse days, but I’m not let it going to stop me.
Taking a sharp breath, he pushed himself up into a sitting position. “Easy does it,” he muttered, rolling his shoulders back. Snufkin wasn’t sure if it helped at all, but he wasn’t going to deny that there was something satisfying about hearing the crack of his joints. “See, it isn’t that bad.” (which was another lie, for his pain had worsened).
After putting on his old green hat, Snufkin poked his head outside his tent, a smile dancing on the corners of his mouth as he spotted Moomin dashing out of Moominhouse, holding a fishing rod against his shoulder. To his surprise, only Moomin was in sight. Perhaps all truly will be well.
-
Sunlight and shadows dappled the path, highlighting the flowers’ warm hues and purples and blues. There was a gentle breeze in the air, stirring the trees just enough that the leaves whispered secrets for those who strained to listen. Birds fluttered about in the branches, singing his spring tune while adding their own melodic twist. It looked to be such a beautiful day.
If only he wasn’t in so much pain.
His spine burned. Not like a campfire nor a stove, mind you, but a burn that pinched the nerves, wearing him down and trying to keep him from moving forward. His chest still hurt, yes, but it didn’t compare to the pain that was consuming his back. It made his mouth twitch and brow furrow in discomfort, but that’s all it would be able to get out of him. Snufkin was determined on having a good time with Moomin today, and there was no chance he was going to let something he deals with day-to-day hinder that, even more so as this was one of those rare days where it seemed that they were going to be alone.
“—today, Snufkin?”
“Hm?” The mumrik was so absorbed in his muddled thoughts that he hadn’t realized that Moomintroll was speaking to him. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I was rather absorbed in admiring how beautiful nature is today.”
“It’s okay! I was asking if you think we’re going to catch any big fish today.” Moomintroll looked at him with wide eyes. Snufkin could swear that he could see sparkles of excitement in them.
“I don’t know,” he replied, a slight grin on his face. “Maybe we do, maybe we don’t. That’s all apart of the thrill of fishing, though.”
“I suppose so.” Although it would please his friend, Snufkin couldn’t help but wish that there would only be small catches today; he wasn’t sure how struggling with a big fish on the other end of the line would affect his current pain. A loud voice in his head told him that it wouldn’t help a single bit. “Is there anything in particular you’re looking to catch?”
“Hmm.” He looked up, rubbing his thumb against the wooden grip. “I would say cod. One, at the very least.”
“Any reason in particular?” Snufkin shrugged.
“I’ve just been thinking about cod.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, no. See, the reason why he wanted to catch some cod was due to their liver oil. He remembered hearing that it could help with joint pain, and he was silently hoping that it would alleviate his pain, even if it’s just a little. Any form of reduction is better than dealing with the full extent of the pain, after all.
-
“Where are we gonna go, Snufkin?” He looked around, debating. Ideally, he would love to stay on the sand; there was no doubt that it was currently holding the sun’s heat, and that would certainly help with the pain. However, the fish didn’t swim that close to shore, so it wouldn’t be ideal. There were the rocks, but that wouldn’t be comfortable at all. If anything, it’d worsen his pain. That just left the dock. It wasn’t ideal, but it was currently the best option for him.
“Let’s fish on the dock today.”
“We’re not going to take a boat?”
“Did you want to?”
“Well, maybe.”
“Let’s take a boat then.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course!” It’s going to be fine, he told himself, dropping into the fishing boat tied to the dock. Moomin hopped in after him, setting his rod down on the floor before picking up both of the oars. Without another word, Snufkin untied the boat and pushed them away from the dock. The pain should be lessening soon, anyways. It doesn’t usually last for the entire day.
However, it seemed to be doing quite the opposite as he leaned against the edge of the boat, giving his back as much support as it could get. Snufkin stared at the clouds, watching as they lazily drifted through the sky, trying to push any acknowledgements about the pain into the back of his mind. It wasn’t doing much good, though, as he clenched and unclenched his teeth based on the spikes of pain while his paws clamped down on the boat so hard that his knuckles paled. To make matters worse…
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Hm?” Snufkin absently looked at him, being greeted by lowered ears and blue eyes glittering with concern. “Oh, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“You seem a bit…” Moomintroll trailed off, waving his paws in circular motions as he sought for what he wanted to say, “distracted. More aloof than usual.”
“Do I?” Just then, the string of his rod pulled forward. “Oh!” He leaned forward, a move which his body protested as he grabbed ahold of the rod, slowly reeling it in. With a great tug, he yanked the fish into the air, where it proceeded to land and flop around the boat. “Ah, a shame, it’s a haddock.” Snufkin sighed, re-baiting his hook before casting it out again. As he returned to his previous position, he felt a fluffy paw press against his forehead.
“Your temperature feels fine…” Snufkin let out a soft laugh.
“As I told you, I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine nor have you been acting fine.” The worry laced in his tone weakened his facade, his claws scratching at the outer rim of the boat. He hated it when he caused Moomintroll to worry. He shouldn’t have to see him like this. “Please, I want to know what’s going on.” Snufkin sighed again.
“Listen, I’m fine, really. It’s just…” he waved his paw about, similarly to how Moomintroll had done before, “normal, I suppose.”
“What’s normal?”
“I’ll tell you as long as you promise not to worry too much about it.”
“...I promise.”
So, Snufkin opened up to him about his chronic pain. About how, for seemingly no reason at all, his body would flare up with pain. Not his entire body, though. No, mainly his spine and chest in particular. He talked about how, some days, the pain would gradually worsen as he moved around, and how it would go away as long as he lay still. He then talked about how, other days, the pain would just be there, bleeding into his activities without notice before becoming so bad that it became difficult to move. Throughout his explanation, he made sure to add emphasis on how this was normal for him, and that it didn’t bother him all too much.
Moomintroll didn’t look fully convinced, and oh, how it hurt his heart seeing the look on his face.
“So...you’ve been in pain this entire time?” He nodded. Moomintroll stared at his fishing rod, his ears perking up as the line jerked forward.
“Oh! You got a bite!” A determined look settled on the young moomintroll’s expression as he took ahold of his fishing rod and began to reel it in. “Do you need my help?”
“No I—I think i got it!” he replied, standing up and pulling the fish in their direction.
Moomintroll struggled with the fish for a minute before finally pulling it aboard.
“Oh! That’s a black sea bass. Not exactly a sizable one, but still an impressive catch!” Moomintroll looked quite pleased with himself
The rest of their fishing trip was filled with jolly banter and bets, turning to see who would be able to catch more fish than the other, who could catch more different types of fish, and so on and so forth. While they weren’t able to catch very many, they still had fun all the same and enjoyed each other’s presence.
Once the sun had begun to set, they rowed back to the dock, securing the boat and leaving the beach with their buckets of fish. Despite the pain having not resided, Snufkin felt at peace. It truly was a good day, and he admittedly felt lighter after telling Moomin about his chronic pain. Of course, he couldn’t help but worry if that meant that he would want to spend less time with him. Only time will tell, he worried, glancing over his shoulder to look at the brilliant red and orange streaks that painted the sky.
“Hey Snufkin?”
“Yeah?”
“Is it alright with you if I ask Mamma to see if Grandma had a recipe that could help?” Snufkin didn’t answer at first. He would need time to think, of course. It had taken him this long to open up to his closest friend about this, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he was ready for the others to find out. On the other paw...it’s Moominfamily. Although he’s different than them, they still loved him all the same and treated him like anyone else. That thought is what decided it.
“Go ahead.” Moomin’s tail waggled in joy as he moved closer to him, bumping his shoulder against his. He had a feeling that the troll wanted to take his paw in his (which he would’ve loved, at the current moment), but with their paws full a gentle shoulder brush is the closest he could get.
Snufkin knew that they wouldn’t be able to help much with his pain. That’s how these things are, after all. He had to admit, though, that knowing that he wouldn’t have to suffer through it alone made him feel all the more better. Yes, he was quite sure of that.