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The first time they met, they fought. Made up. Played on the swings. Pushing one another. Naruto even managed to get Itachi to play with them. Sasuke had so much fun he convinced Itachi to stay out a little later than they were allowed.
They had both gotten in trouble with their parents once they got home. Sasuke hated being yelled at. But he refused to cry.
Itachi smiled at him. “I’m glad you made a friend like Naruto. Take good care of him.” Sasuke nodded.
They continued to meet at the playground. “You know,” Naruto said. His eyes were so big, and round, and full of oceans of tears. Sasuke had quickly learned how much Naruto cried. He cried when he happy. When he was sad. When he was excited. When he was hurt. “I hate that we don’t get to hang out a lot more.” He walked over to the swing and sat down.
“Come to school. We can hang out there.” Sasuke nodded. The solution was genius. He grabbed onto the metal chains that held the swing up. He began to push Naruto.
Naruto laughed. “I go to school, silly.”
“No, you don’t.” Sasuke caught the swing. “Your school is at your house.” Sasuke pushed him again, this time with all his strength. He almost fell, head first, into the sand covering the playground.
“You don’t do that?”
“Nope, I go to real school.”
Naruto gasped in amazement. There was another type of school? With Sasuke? “Where?”
“Edenrose elementary school.” Sasuke said. “I’m in grade two.”
Naruto jumped off the swing, while still in the air. He rushed back to Sasuke and hugged him. “I wanna be in grade two!”
“Then come!” Sasuke laughed.
Naruto begged and cried and screamed to go to elementary school. His mother was two seconds away from blowing her red hot fuse. Minato was on Naruto’s side too. The nerve!
“Fine.” Kushina sighed.
“Yay!” Naruto jumped up, hugging her leg.
“ But if you get a bad report card, you’re going back to being homeschooled.”
Naruto started elementary school.
When he was being signed up, he looked at the principal with more energy than the entire universe held in itself. “Hey, hey!” Naruto tried to grab the principles attention away from the paper on his desk. The principle looked up. Naruto smiled and so did he. “Can I please be in the same class as Sasuke? Uchiha Sasuke.”
“Why?” Said the principle. “Do you know him?”
“Of course.” He grinned. “We’re best friends.” He said proudly, folding his arms over his chest.
The principle was in shock with the excitement Naruto threw into the world. Excitement for Sasuke, of all kids. The kid that got along with no one. How was Sasuke best friends with a kid like this?
Out of complete amusement, he put them in the same class.
Naruto called Sasuke for homework help. Thought they both knew he didn’t need it. It was the only way they could communicate after school without Sasuke’s parents getting mad. Those long phone calls eventually turned into sleepovers.
“But only on the weekends.” Mikoto, Sasuke’s mother, said. “And only at our house.” Sasuke was amazed his parents agreed. Itachi had helped persuade them. Naruto being the son of a politician didn’t hurt either.
Naruto burst into Sasuke’s room after squeezing an apple juice box to death and munching through two chocolate chip cookies in the Uchiha kitchen.
Naruto always had this look in his eyes. Always excited to look. Always excited to be. Always excited to laugh. And he laughed. “Your room is exactly what I thought it’d be.”
It was a white room, no posters, no toys, and blue curtains. There was a blue bed covered in white sheets pushed into one corner and a study desk, with a pile of thick books about math and science, pushed in another. Naruto ran to the desk, pushed back the chair and stumbled through the books. “Woah, what is this?” He pointed at the pages.
Sasuke shrugged. “Just some extra studying.”
“Mhm,” Naruto blew a raspberry. “Smarty pants.”
“You can do it too.”
“Nah, I’ll leave it to you.”
Sasuke laughed. “Okay, let’s get to the homework.”
Naruto whined but pulled out his books.
After studying, it was dinner. After dinner, they played in the backyard. Then took their showers. Then brushed their teeth. They bumped against each other, furiously attacking their teeth with their brushes. Then they went to bed. The both fit easily onto Sasuke’s single size bed. Fitting perfectly under Sasuke’s blue blankets.
Naruto held Sasuke’s hand under the blanket.
The next morning, Sasuke woke up first. He shook Naruto. “Come on, wake up.”
“No, I want to sleep.” Naruto waved his hand. “Please mom!”
Sasuke laughed. Blowing a raspberry on Naruto’s face. “I’m not your mom.”
Naruto launched up, hitting his head against Sasuke’s in the process. They both held onto their foreheads, yelled “ow!” and laughed.
“We gotta make the most of today before you have to go home.”
Naruto jumped out of bed. “I’m gonna beat you to the bathroom!”
Elementary whizzed by with hearts full of the laughter shared between Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke laughed till his body was numb and vibrating and full of Naruto’s existence.
Eventually they grew. And feelings developed. And life began rationing out lemons. The first time Sasuke had noticed it was in the middle of middle school. That’s when it all broke down, turned to dust, and blew right back into his eyes. He decided to keep his eyes closed since, so the dust wouldn’t hurt as much.
But before that was grade six.
“How do you get along with Sasuke so well?” Ino had asked Naruto as they sat on the bench along the gym. Both had been hit by the ball while playing dodgeball.
“Sasuke’s nice!”
Ino laughed. “He is so not.”
“Yeah he is.” Naruto said, sliding his feet against the waxed floor because he loved the sound it made.
“Only to you.”
Naruto grinned at Ino. He knew it was true and it made him so proud he burned brighter than the stars. “Nah, he’s just nice.” Naruto looked at Sasuke dodge another ball, back up and glance his way.
Naruto waved at him. Naruto’s contagious smile crawled onto Sasuke’s face ever so slightly. Then Sasuke got hit by a ball.
“Sasuke, you’re out!” The gym teacher yelled out behind him.
Sasuke huffed, walked to Naruto and stood in front of him. “It’s your fault.”
Naruto’s eyes twinkled like the ocean on a hot summer day. “Nah,” Naruto shrugged. “You just suck.” He grabbed Sasuke’s hand and pulled him to sit next to him on the bench. Sasuke let got of his hand and they both missed the times they ran hand in hand through the park.
Ino’s existence vanished as Naruto and Sasuke engulfed each other. Their banter enthusiastically carried on until the end of the game, and into the beginning of a new one. She didn’t mind. That was who they were. Plus she got to see Sasuke smile up close. An honour and skill only Naruto possessed.
At the end of the year, all the grade six and seven students created two parallel lines. The grade eight students, middle school graduates, walked between the lines. It was the end of the year graduation ceremony. The graduates got clapped out of the school into their new journey: high school.
Sasuke stood next to Naruto who was clapping as loud as he could. “I can’t wait to walk out like that with you.” Naruto grinned.
Sasuke placed an arms around his shoulder. “ If you graduate middle school.” Sasuke chuckled.
“Meanie,” Naruto smiled.
In grade seven, while on a sleepover, Naruto’s head gently bumped against Sasuke as they shared the pillow on Sasuke’s twin sized bed. They had their own blankets because one was too small. Plus Naruto always pulled it off Sasuke in the middle of the night if they shared.
“Sasuke,” Naruto whispered.
“Yeah?” Sasuke whispered back.
“Don’t be mad.”
Sasuke laughed. “Let’s hear it first”
“No,” Naruto sounded like he was about to cry. Pushing words pass a throat entangled with thorny vines. “You have to promise.”
“I promise.” Sasuke said, without missing a beat. Because Naruto would do the same.
“I think I like girls.”
Sasuke heart constricted. “Of course, that’s who you’re supposed to like.” He said.
Naruto looked at Sasuke, guilt molding his face. “It’s not just that...I think I might like boys too.”
Sasuke turned to Naruto. He gulped, swallowing the waves of emotions threatening to burst out into stars in front of Naruto.
Sasuke couldn’t believe it. He’d been afraid for so long. And the entire time Naruto understood. “I—”
“Sasuke—” Mikoto burst into the room. “Oh, you guys are still sharing the bed?” Mikoto turned on the light. The boys set up on the bed, putting distance between them. There wasn’t much room before both of them were about to fall off from the opposite ends of the bed. Mikoto put her hands on her hips. “You both are too grown to share a bed.”
“Sorry, Mrs. Uchiha.” Naruto said, looking at the blue comforter he had spent many sleepovers embraced in. He picked at a loose thread. “I’ll bring a sleeping bag next time.”
Sasuke didn’t want to look at his mother. This moment had been good. But of course he got a wake up call before he dived in. Whatever he was feeling wasn’t right. He just wanted to be like Naruto. They had run parallel their entire lives. Suddenly, Naruto was shooting off into another direction, exponentially. That’s why he was so confused.
“Hmm,” Mikoto hummed, looking at the boys intensely. “Yes, next time.”
Mikoto left the door open. Neither of them dared to close it. Even though neither could sleep if the slightest bit of light was in the room.
The boys didn’t continue the conversation. Sasuke turned away from Naruto. He waited for Naruto to fall asleep and went to sleep in the living room. His heart expanded and tightened against his chest the entire night. A tear dropped out his eyes, along his cheeks and into his ear. He felt too weak to move, wipe away the irritating tear. He grabbed the blanket tight around him but it only got colder and colder through the duration of the night.
The next morning Sasuke pretended he had gotten up earlier than Naruto, that’s why he wasn’t in bed with him. Naruto knew he was lying. And it wasn’t because of Sasuke’s red eyes and dark circles.
“You should get going.” Sasuke cleared his throat. They had just finished breakfast. Normally, they played for a few hours then headed to the library to study. “Um,” He place a hand on the back of his neck. “My mom called yours, so she’ll be here soon.”
“Okay,” Naruto’s heart was beating so fast. He turned and ran up the stairs. He cried as he packed his things. The clothes he was wearing last night. His school notebooks and bag. The extra toothbrush he left at Sasuke’s house. Then stayed in Sasuke’s room, huffing through hot tears, while Sasuke stayed to clean up the kitchen.
He left without a proper goodbye. Sasuke was apparently changing the laundry load.
Naruto got into the car. His parents in the front seat. “Hey champ.” Minato said, looking at his son from the rearview mirror.
“Sasuke isn’t here to see you off?” Kushina started pulling out from the driveway.
“He was...he was doing the laundry.” Naruto clicked his seatbelt. Then he pulled the strap away from his chest. Then he started crying.
Minato looked at Kushina. Kushina looked at Minato.
“Let’s get ice cream, okay?” Minato said gently. “We’ll talk once we get home.”
Naruto nodded his head and cried more.
Once they were home, Naruto’s Mcflurry was finished. His cheeks were still red, and his eyes threatened to burst again.
Naruto sat in the middle of his parents. He took in a deep breath.
“I told Sasuke...I told him I was bisexual.” He whispered.
That was news to the parents. They only wished the scenario would have presented itself alone. Not with a best friend issue.
“Please,” He said quietly. “Please don’t start hating me like he did.”
“I love you, Naruto.” The parents said together. Then the three laughed.
“I love you too.” Naruto wiped away the snot running down his nose with the pack of his pajama sleeves.
Minato rubbed Naruto’s back with comfort. “And Sasuke doesn’t hate you either. He just...needs time to adjust.”
Kushina smiled. “Don’t worry Naruto. Your father is right. Some people need time to adjust.”
“Okay,” Naruto took in a deep breath. “I just hope he gets used to it soon.”
It took a week for Naruto and Sasuke to get past more than just a hello. Then they started talking about homework. Then things eventually got back to normal.
As normal as Sasuke had the strength to be.
In grade eight, Naruto started coming out as bisexual. First, only to his close friends. By the end of the year, all his friend knew. Which meant all of the grade knew. Even a few teachers.
Naruto found Sasuke in the empty hallways after school. His band practice had just finished and Sasuke was finishing up his duties as the principal's associate. A position given to excelling students.
Naruto cried into his chest. “I told Kiba I was bi and he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
Sasuke brushed his hands through Naruto’s hair then pushed him away softly. “It was bound to happen.” He shrugged. He wiped Naruto’s tears. “I understand why he’d be grossed out.”
Naruto always kept two foot’s worth of space between him and Sasuke after that.
Naruto learned that some things don’t go back to normal.
During their walk out graduation ceremony. Naruto jumped, cheered, and clapped alongside Sakura and Ino. The two girls feeding off his energy burst into unstoppable laughter. Sasuke was in front of the crowd, far away from Naruto and next to Shikamaru and Hinata. The other two principle associates. He could hear Naruto’s laughter. Sasuke’s heart grew smaller and smaller.
He wished some things could go back to normal.
The ceremony ended. Everybody had cleared the grounds. Except for the graduating class.
Kiba found Naruto. “I’m sorry. It’s fucked up that I treated you like shit after you came out.” He took a step closer to Naruto. Naruto bit on his bottom lip and tried to stop his foot from tapping.
Sasuke looked at the two and turned away. Naruto saw it happen. Hoped Sasuke would come and do the same. However, Sasuke started his walk home without Naruto. Something he had started getting used to in the past semester.
“It’s okay Kiba.” Naruto said, trying his best to smile. He should be grateful for what he has.
Some things can’t go back to normal.
“It’s not,” Kiba placed a hand on his shoulder. “I just...I’ve been around people that say weird shit about homosexuals and I should’ve known better. Fuck what they think. Who fucking cares. You’re still my best friend.”
Naruto grinned.
Middle school ended with no sleepovers. And a dead friendship.
In the summer before high school. Sasuke and Naruto didn’t see each other. They didn’t keep in contact. Naruto made plans with Kiba, Sakura, and Ino. All the friends he made throughout middle school. Sasuke made plans with his school books.
Naruto’s laughter became quieter. His smiles smaller. His existence smoldering. Each day he spoke at the top of lungs, ran faster than his heart could keep up with. Each night he cried more than the ocean his eyes contained.
Eventually, Naruto stopped making plans with Kiba, Sakura, and Ino. All the friends he made throughout middle school.
He used to call Sasuke. He was always met with the electronic voice telling him to leave a message after the tone. Now he looks at his phone, types the number he knows by heart (even though sasuke is still on speed dial) and turns off his phone before he presses the call button.
He reads their old messages on facebook. Sasuke’s name was replaced by “Facebook User” because Sasuke had long since deleted all his social media.
The little secrets they exchanged into the middle of the night danced in his stomach. Kicked around until he was crying again.
Crying. Always crying.
While Naruto kept thinking and thinking, Sasuke had stopped thinking. He only studied.
He blocked Naruto’s number because it became harder and harder to decline his calls. He deleted his social media because he stayed up most nights scrolling through their conversations.
The promises they made turned to sour bile in his throat.
The electric shocks that vibrated through Sasuke each time Naruto touched him in the simplest way became unbearable. The butterflies in his stomach turned to bricks. Sugar on his lips from the smiles and laughter stung his chapped lips.
He had deleted all traces of Naruto, but couldn’t delete all the pictures he would sneak of him. The way his eyes closed when he grinned. Or the way he opened his mouth to fit a large burrito in it. Him yawing and forgetting to cover his mouth. Then there were the planned pictures. He loved that Naruto subconsciously always threw up a peace sign every time he posed for a picture.
At least he had changed his home screen from the picture Kushina had taken of them from when they used to play in the park together.
“You’re still not talking to Naruto?” Itachi walked into Sasuke’s room.
“Learn to knock, Itachi.” Sasuke put away his phone.
Itachi leaned against the door frame.
“I wanted to ask since I’m going to lunch with him today.”
Sasuke knew Naruto and Itachi had developed a friendship and it was slowly killing him. Naruto replaced him so easily.
“I already had lunch.” Sasuke said, still not turning towards Itachi.
Itachi stopped himself from huffing. His relationship with his brother was fading away with Naruto’s existence. And so was Sasuke’s health. Itachi knew he wasn’t eating well, from the way Sasuke’s cheekbones stuck out more than normal.
“Stop being childish. You both need to fix things.”
“There’s nothing to fix.” Sasuke said, exasperated.
“You’ve been avoiding him.”
Sasuke decided he was going to ignore whatever Itachi was going to say from here on. Eventually, he would give up and leave.
“Why don’t you at least tell him why, Sasuke? It’s cruel.”
“Cruel?” Sasuke turned around facing his brother. He got off his chair. So much for ignoring him. “I’m not cruel to him.” Sasuke was tired. He was tired of being the one who ruined what they had. Naruto was the one who had to be so open. Such a moving force. The one who decided to come out. They could’ve continued to be if they didn’t think so much. “You know what’s cruel?” He spat out. “I want an entire life with him. I can’t live without him. And we both had to ruin it by being a bunch of fags.” Sasuke huffed. Then he realised what he had said.
He looked at Itachi’s shocked expression. Then he cried. He looked at the floor. There was no covering it. He had to come clean. “Itachi, I’m gay.” He whispered.
Itachi wasn’t shocked to hear those words. He’d been expecting to hear them eventually. However, he wasn’t expecting how much those words would fuel fear within him.
In this moment, all he could be glad for was that their parents weren’t home to hear Sasuke.