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If it were under Sasuke’s control, he would have never gone to the same high school as Naruto. However, his entire life was controlled by his parents. The school that happened to be in their area code was also the best International Business (ib) school in the entire province. So, instead of avoiding the school, Sasuke had to work his ass off to get an admission into its program. He was at least glad that Naruto wouldn’t be in the ib program with him.
That was until Naruto walked into his homeroom.
Fuck.
Their eyes met for a second. Naruto’s cheerful face turned into sadness when they looked at each other. No matter the room, if Sasuke were in it Naruto’s eyes would meet his first. Sasuke had practiced his bitch face the entire summer, and delivered it to Naruto perfectly before looking away. He was not going to crack. Naruto and him would not become friends again.
“Naruto!” Sakura called out from behind Sasuke. Thankfully she was sitting in a different row and a bit further back from the front. Sasuke wouldn’t have to look at Naruto. Not the back of his head, covered in perfect golden hair. Or the side of his face. That perfect jaw. Tan skin. Three long scars that resembled whiskers. Sasuke wouldn’t zone out, wondering how Naruto’s eyelashes were so bold and long. Or how exactly Naruto’s lips curved like that on the corner of his mouth. Or how it would be like to press his lips against his. Sasuke cursed himself every time. Not matter what he did, he always got lost in him.
Naruto walked past him. Keeping his eyes on Sakura. He had held in his breath, hoping that Sasuke would give him more than a scowl. Hoped something had changed over summer. But Sasuke still didn’t seem to spare him a thought, let alone a glance.
“Hey Sakura,” He sat down next to her.
“What’re you doing here?” Sasuke knew he should ignore them, but he couldn’t help it. Part of him had hoped Naruto was just dropping in to say hi to Sakura. Maybe even to glance at Sasuke. Maybe he wasn’t even in the ib program.
“Mom said I either do ib or I go back to being homeschooled.” Naruto huffed. Sasuke could almost imagine him perfectly. Folding his arms, kicking back, one leg extended far out while the other was under his chair.
“That’s why you disappeared halfway through summer.” Sakura laughed. “You were probably working your ass off studying for the entrance exam.”
Naruto chuckled. “Yep, you know I’m thick headed as fuck.” Sasuke couldn’t decide if he should roll his eyes—because he knew Naruto was smart—or be shocked—because he had never heard Naruto swear before. Who had he been hanging out with? What changed him? It clearly wasn’t Sakura. Naruto never endlessly studied for anything. So that meant he had avoided her during summer.
Why was he acting like such an idiot? He was better than this. He really needed to drop that fake personna he had adopted in the past years sasuke wasn’t in his life.
Eventually homeroom started. They were in grade nine, first day of school, there wasn’t much to go over than the ib rules and regulations. Naruto made a joke that made the entire class crack up. Sasuke bit his lip trying not to smile.
The rest of the day went by fast. Naruto was in all his classes, which made sense since they had homeroom together. Each class Sasuke saw Naruto getting closer and closer to everyone in their section.
It burned inside him and he hated it. Even after all this time, he wished they were sitting next to each other. Naruto’s arm spread across their desks, not caring or even noticing that he was taking up Sasuke’s personal space. Their feet would be touching under the table. Maybe he’d even lean back and rest an arm on Sasuke’s shoulder. Smile that smile he always smiled.
Sasuke missed it all. Stronger than ever now that he had admitted how he felt about Naruto.
A week passed and Sasuke thought he could get used to the constant emptiness. Then Naruto got paired up with him for a project. The presentation was going to be in four weeks.
“You’d do well to exchange contact information with your partner today.” The science teacher, Mr. Asuma Sarutobi, didn’t look like the type to give his students any wiggle room for their own needs. He wasn’t going to let Sasuke get out of this situation. He’d just be told off. “The real world doesn’t work like that, Sasuke. Learn to adjust.” It was too early for Sasuke to get on any teacher’s bad side. So he accepted his fate and decided to suffer through it.
Naruto walked up to Sasuke. Before he could say anything, Sasuke got up. “We can keep in contact through our school emails.” Then left for lunch.
Naruto let out a sigh. Of course he would say that. He scratched his head and looked back at Sakura. She smiled at him. “It’ll be okay,” she mouthed.
Naruto nodded his head. He was going to make this okay. He was sure of himself.
But as time went on, Naruto’s confidence died out after taking multiple hits from Sasuke’s ego.
The first hit. Sasuke had sent out an email, splitting up their work as soon as they had gotten their assignment sheet. Naruto didn’t argue because it had been spilt perfectly in accordance to their individual strengths. It made him miss Sasuke even more. The second hit. Sasuke refused to speak to him. Naruto send endless emails to Sasuke. He’d suggest they practice together or meet up at the library. Maybe even drop by Tim Horton’s for a donut and catch up. No reply. The third hit. The only words he did get from Sasuke were over email and they were all about the presentation and how he wasn’t doing his part properly.
Naruto was trying to be patient but quickly learned that he wasn’t good at it.
He saw an opportunity when he spotted Sasuke looking at a karate try out sign up sheet. Naruto signed up too. Just a few minutes before the deadline so Sasuke wouldn’t ditch and avoid him.
Sasuke’s anger was unmatched when he saw Naruto walk into the gym. He was quick to realize what was going on. If had a choice, he’d leave and not try out for the team but his parents still controlled his life even a month into high school.
Instead, Sasuke decided he wasn’t going to pay attention to Naruto. Just like always. But that plan was quickly ruined because they got paired up by the coach, Hatake Kakashi. Hatake was also their gym teacher and knew how miserably they got along. The asshole was toying with them.
Neither of them were beginners. However, Naruto had stopped practicing half way through middle school and Sasuke hadn’t so Sasuke was able to show off a few new moves.
Naruto snorted. “You never were the one to miss an opportunity to show off.” He grinned.
A smile almost decorated Sasuke’s face. Like it always did when Naruto smiled. Instead, he caught himself and took the opportunity to flip Naruto over and stand tall on top of him. “We’re not friends.”
Naruto sighed and got up. “You’re still a friend to me.”
Sasuke glared at him. And then the coach rotated partners.
After the try out, Sasuke bolted in and out the changing room before Naruto got the chance to even go inside. Naruto wasn’t going to let him get away so he stumbled through unlocking his locker, grabbed his stuff, didn’t change his clothes, and ran after Sasuke.
On the way home from the school, Sasuke and Naruto had to pass through the park they grew up playing in. “Sasuke!” Naruto gasped for air. He was sure he had set a personal best chasing after Sasuke.
Finally, he stopped and turned to Naruto. “As if the constant emails weren’t enough. Now you’re stalking me?” Sasuke spat out. “Get lost.” He turned to leave again.
“Sasuke, please let’s just talk. I’m sick of acting like I don’t know you.”
Sasuke continued walking. “You don’t know me.”
Naruto always had a hard time hearing what he didn’t want to hear. He continued on his chase after millions of rejections. “What made you hate me so much?” Naruto ran up to him. Naruto grabbed his wrist, trying to make him stay.
Sasuke shook his hand off. Naruto grabbed his wrist again, tighter.
Sasuke glared at him. “I don’t need a reason to hate you. Leave me alone.”
“I was your best friend.” Naruto tried to choke back his tears. “You’re still the best friend I’ve ever had.” Then a tear fell.
Sasuke rolled his eyes and laughed. Trying his best not to give into those blue eyes that carried all the oceans in the world. “You’re still crying like that? Grow up. Things don’t fix themselves if you start crying.” Sasuke tried to tug his hand out of Naruto's grip. “I don’t have the time to baby you. Let go.”
“No,” another tear fell. Sasuke’s knees were growing weak. He needed to leave or he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He pushed Naruto’s shoulder with his other hand, trying to get him off.
“What do you want?” Sasuke raised his voice.
“Just give me a reason. Let me fix things.” Naruto didn’t bother wiping away his tears. He let his grip loose, and garbed Sasuke’s hand instead. “I’m sorry.” And Sasuke knew he meant it. Naruto did nothing wrong and he still meant it. How many nights had Naruto spent telling himself he was what went wrong?
The thought of that made Sasuke lose it. He couldn’t handle the guilt. Or the tears. Or the feeling of comfort that was growing inside him from Naruto holding his hand.
He pushed Naruto to the ground and kicked him in the side. “You stopped being good enough. I’ve always been better and I got tired of being around such a loser.” And he ran off.
He didn’t stop running until he was inside him room. He huffed and huffed. Replaying the scene in his mind. He had gone crazy. Feral. Possessed. What the fuck happened to him? He couldn’t believe he had just hurt Naruto like that.
He could get expelled if Naruto ratted him out. If he got in trouble his parents would end him. Only one week into high school and Sasuke was already dead. But that wasn’t what scared him. He hated that it wasn’t the reason his head was hurting and his lungs were deflating.
He wished Itachi were still at home. He wished he could go to his brother. Ask him for a solution. But Itachi had moved out for university two years ago and it was only Sasuke facing his parents alone.
The fight happened on Friday. Sasuke had to wait two days until he saw Naruto again.
During homeroom, Sasuke saw anger from Naruto directed at him for the first time. And Sasuke knew he’d never see Naruto cry again.
They were able to do their presentation. The grade wasn’t the best, but it could’ve been much worse considering the situation.
Mr. Sarutobi never paired them up again.
Their interaction in class had died but their interaction in karate club made people think they were out to kill each other. Many times Kakashi had called an end to their matches because they both refused to fall down. Eventually, Kakashi stopped letting them spar.
At the end of grade nine, Naruto got a girlfriend. And Sasuke got a reality check.
He passed by them in the hallways. Naruto would lean up against her locker, and she would shyly avoid his gaze. Then she’d put her books in her bag and Naruto would hold her hand. And Sasuke would remember the time he threw Naruto to the ground and kicked him in the same playground they ran hand in hand as children.
He’d just be grateful Naruto wasn’t dating a guy.
When karate season ended, their frustration for each other had no place to escape so the frustration grew and it built and it stumbled. Sasuke would be praised for having the highest average in his grade. Sasuke would smirk at him with that stupid face. Naruto was reminded that he could never be as good as him. And that he was a loser not worth Sasuke’s attention.
Sasuke kept winning and winning. Naruto kept being threatened with homeschooling.
In grade ten Naruto decided enough was enough. He would punch that bastard square in his stupid face. Metaphorically, of course. Getting expelled wouldn’t let him win against Sasuke.
When he found out Sasuke was running for grade representative, Naruto decided to as well. When results came out, Naruto jumped in excitement with Sakura. Then his stomach dropped when he saw Sasuke’s name next to his. There were two spots and both of them won.
They were even.
Sasuke joined debate team. Naruto showed up too. Naruto joined soccer. Sasuke happened to see the try out sheet next to this year’s karate try out sheet.
Anything one would do, the other would too.
Sasuke smirked at Naruto when he got an award at the end of a sport season. If Naruto won, he would grin smugly at Sasuke.
They were even.
They fought on opposite teams for the school’s debate team, even though they were supposed to be working together to compete as a team during the end of the year province wide competition. The teacher leading the club got so fed up with them, she benched them both.
Kushina shook her head at Naruto, and threatened homeschooling again. Mikoto promised not to tell Fugaku about the incident if Sasuke brought home a gold for karate. Luckily he managed, or else his father would hate him more than he already did. Winning against Naruto made him happier than bringing home a gold for his parents.
Swimming tryouts got cancelled for the year because the swimming pool in their school burst a pipe. So, Naruto joined drama club to see if Sasuke would go that far for the sake of competition. Neither of them showed up to the first meeting. And Naruto caught himself smiling because of Sasuke after a really long time.
During student council meetings, Sasuke and Naruto were reminded of who they were when they worked together. How well their ideas, strengths, and goals aligned. Sasuke began to find it easier to smile at Naruto’s jokes. Of course he wouldn’t let Naruto see that smile.
After one of those council meetings, they were both left in the meeting room together as they packed up their stuff. The had decided to stay behind to work on a school spirit rally.
Naruto got a text. He looked at his phone and grew tense.
Sasuke looked at him, then away from him, then at him again. Naruto’s expression got tighter and tighter as his phone buzzed more and more.
Sasuke huffed. “Put your phone on mute, idiot.”
“Shut up, bastard.” Naruto picked up his phone. It continued to buzzed. He sighed.
“What is it?” Sasuke tried to sound annoyed but he was growing anxious.
“My girlfriend…” Naruto let out a soft, frustrated shout. He ruffled his hair intensely and got up. “It doesn’t concern you.” Then he headed to the door.
Sasuke started noticing how tense Naruto was. In class his wasn’t acting like a clown. In debate team he willingly let the coach put him in the same team as Sasuke’s. In karate he refused to spar against Sasuke. He’d joke and say he was angry at something worse than Sasuke so he’d be practicing alone. Sasuke saw Naruto’s girlfriend twirling her hair and giggling around another guy.
Sasuke tried his best not to think about it.
Naruto didn’t come to school for three days.
You’d think a person would appear less in your mind if you didn’t see them for a while. But everyday Sasuke’s mind lingered. His lips tightened. Toes curled.
Finally, Naruto showed up on the fourth day. Apparently he was just recovering from a terrible fever.
During the weekly meeting, Sasuke’s eyes remained on Naruto.
“What is it, bastard?” Naruto said after the meeting. He packed his stuff and didn’t look at Sasuke. Everyone in the room knew he was talking about Naruto. They held in their breath waiting for a bicker fest to begin between the two. They’re arguments used to be frequent, but reduced over time. However, as the frequency of their arguments dropped, the viciousness of them increased. And nobody wanted to be involved in them.
Sasuke looked away from him, slung his bag over his shoulder and left.
Everyone in the room could feel the relief that flood back into the room.
Naruto chased after Sasuke.
“What is it?” Naruto yelled after him. They were here again. In the park Sasuke had seen Naruto cry for the first and last time.
Naruto pulled off his shoe and threw it at Sasuke’s head.
Sasuke turned around and glared at Naruto. “What the fuck, idiot?”
“Stop calling me that.”
Sasuke waited for Naruto to come to him. One step at a time he got the sock on his left foot dirty. Naruto stopped in front of Sasuke. He was close enough that a gust of wind would smash their noses together.
“Didn’t you want me out of you life?”
Sasuke rolled his eyes. Refusing to step back even though his heart was ready to jump into Naruto’s hands. “I’m trying but you can’t seem to let me go.” He scoffed.
Naruto stepped back. “You try to let go of me first.” He looked at his white sock digging into the sand of the park. He wiggled his toes to hide further into the ground.
Sasuke felt his breath hitch and hoped it wasn’t loud. Probably not because Naruto looked back up at him.
“I don’t understand you.” Naruto kept his eyes on Sasuke and he kept his eyes on Naruto.
Sasuke took a step back. Naruto stood in place. Sasuke took in a deep breath and tried to understand the ground he was standing on. It was sinking him in, the sand.
“I can’t do this, Naruto.” Sasuke finally said. “Don’t make me say it.”
Naruto shook his head. “I can.”
“Then say it.” Sasuke’s chest was heaving. He had stopped running but breath wasn't catching in his lungs. He didn’t know what he was expecting from Naruto, but he knew whatever words he’d speak would take Sasuke by surprise. They always did.
“I’m sick of crying over you, you stupid bastard.” Naruto started walking to Sasuke. “Fucking piece of shit.” He raised his hand, formed a fist and launched it as Sasuke. Only to stop before impact and place a hand on his cheek. His thumb was placed under Sasuke’s eyes which were decorated with days of no sleep. Naruto’s lips quivered. “What more can I give you?”
Sasuke stepped closer to Naruto. “Nothing you’d be willing to give.”
“Try me.”
Sasuke shook his head. “No.” He looked at the ground.
“Let’s go back to normal.” Naruto whispered. Did Naruto even know what normal was? Their normal of five year ago? Sasuke couldn’t remember that normal. As far as Sasuke was concerned, he still felt the same he did years ago. Only now they were older and he knew what he wanted wasn’t possible.
“Break up with your girlfriend.” The words had slipped out. In the sixteen years of Sasuke’s existence he’d never said anything without planning it out a million times in his head.
Naruto stepped back, letting go of Sasuke’s face.
“Fine.” He didn’t even take a second to respond. “But being with a girl is what would make me normal, right?” Naruto laughed. “You could never accept that I was bi.” He didn’t even sound bitter about it.
“That...that wasn’t it.” Sasuke held his hands in a fist.
“Then what?”
“Naruto whatever we have is what our normal is. You can’t change anything now.”
“So you just want to keep fighting?” Naruto shouted. “You want to keep this bullshit going?”
“What else is there?” Sasuke tried to keep his voice down but something in him always wanted to match up to Naruto.
“Then fine,” Naruto dropped his bag and took off his other shoe. “Fight me. Here, right now.”
Sasuke looked at Naruto. Trying to understand his goal. “You’re a bigger idiot than I previously thought.”
“Shut up.” Naruto gritted. “If I win, you tell me why you’re running away—”
“I already told you why. You’re a loser and I don’t want to—”
“Cut the bullshit, Sasuke. I know there’s more to it then—”
“You don’t know anything.” Sasuke stepped forward.
Naruto shrugged. “Then teach me something.”
Sasuke was just as much of an idiot as Naruto was because he took the first swing. He hit him straight across the face. Naruto fell over, his ear filling with sand and the entirety of his body started housing sand.
Naruto got up and punched Sasuke. Only for Sasuke to block it. Then Naruto punched Sasuke’s stomach.
Back and forth, back and forth. Until finally they both lay beside each other. Heads touching but bodies elongating in different directions. Naruto in north and Sasuke in south.
They heaved out heavy breaths. And Naruto burst into laughter. He felt like he was on another level of existence. The rush that filled through him numbed all the pain inside of him.
The fight was even.
Sasuke turned to look at Naruto. And even after all this time he was falling deeper and deeper. Naruto could be laughing, crying, shouting and Sasuke would still be falling in love.
Naruto turned to Sasuke, a grin still on his face.
“Guess this’ll just have to be our normal.”
Sasuke finally smiled. Holding back tears, blaming it on the dust produced by the disturbed sand around them. It’ll have to be their normal.
Sasuke nodded his head.