Chapter Text
Four years ago, three women stood on a lawn in the Louisiana evening exchanging hugs and 'I love yous' and 'I'll be back as soon as I can'. Voices were hopeful, and eyes were filled with joyful tears and everything was possible. Four years ago, brown eyes sparkled with love and hope as she watched her Auntie Carol, and basically her other mom, zoom off into the night sky. A much shorter Monica had clung close to her mom that night as they watched Carol zoom away and they stood below waving at the space left behind. Monica spent almost every night on those porch steps staring up at the sky just like they used to do together. She just stared and smiled and waited. Waited until her mom would call her inside with a small smile on her lips. "She'll come when she can, baby." And Monica had believed her.
Seasons changed, birthdays and holidays came and went and pretty soon it had been four years and at some point, Monica didn't bother to look up anymore, didn't bother to even ask. She just didn't bother.
* * *
Part I.
The screen door slammed against the frame of the house and out walked Carol with Maria right beside her. Monica glared daggers at Carol and for a moment, Carol contemplated going back inside.
Her bare feet sunk into the grass as she came to stand out on the lawn. A fuming Monica folded her arms across her chest as she paced, her braids swung with each quick stop.
"Monica, wait, please." Carol began, and she knew immediately it was a mistake as Monica abruptly stopped and whirled around on her. Neither she nor Maria moved.
"Please?! Don't 'please' me! Why the hell are you even here?" She sucked her teeth
Carol felt Maria bristle beside her, just as she herself tensed.
"Monica, you need to calm down." Maria's tone was low and steady, but it edged toward danger.
She snapped her head towards her mom. "Calm down? For what? You may not care that she just drops in whenever she feels like it, but I do."
Maria sucked in a breath and remained calm. "That's not fair, Monica and you know it."
"Not fair?" Angry brown eyes switched between her mother and Carol. "Not fair. Not fair is waiting on somebody to make good on their promise. Not fair is waiting four damn years for somebody to come back!" Her eyes bored into Carol's.
Carol wanted to collapse under the heat of Monica's words, but she stiffened her jaw and kept her eyes up. Her voice was free of anger, not that she had any right to be angry. "Monica, if you would just-
"No, Carol!" she spat the name out like stale gum. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want the sorrys or the shoulda', coulda', wouldas. You left. You. Left. And you didn't come back."
Carol cringed and felt the acid build in her stomach. This was what she had been afraid of. She felt Maria's warm hand loosely holding to her bicep. It was just there for comfort and nothing more. "It's not what I wanted Monica, please know-
Monica threw her hands in the air, exasperated as she cut her off. "Not what you wanted! What about what we wanted?" She pointed between herself and her mom. "What about me? Where were you for the bike rides and boy talks and test help, huh?" She didn't wait for Carol to even try to answer. "Where were you when we needed you? And now you think you can just fly back in here with lasers and blasters and we're supposed to play house? I'm supposed to be happy that you get to swoop in here whenever you want and visit my mom for some quick fuck!"
Affronted, a set of "Hey!" rose up like a chorus. Maria surged forward with Monica's name on her lips, and then it was Carol's arm outstretched that kept the woman beside her at bay.
Carol raised her voice as she frowned at Monica. "You do not talk to your mother like that!"
Monica scoffed. "You know what? You don't get to come in here and play parent. That ship sailed when you flew out of here four years ago and never looked back. We are not some way station or some fake family you can just put on and take off like your damn super suit."
"Monica Grace Rambeau! You are on every piece of thin ice there is." Maria gritted her teeth as she seethed.
She turned towards her mom and whined, "how are you okay with this?"
Maria understood her daughter's frustration, but it was also clear that Monica was full of the narrow vision that only a teenager could navigate. "Well, maybe if you would listen!" , she sniped back.
"Listen for what?" Her clipped laugh was filled with a bitterness that was beyond her years, and then she turned fierce eyes back to Carol. "So, she can say how sorry she is?"
For the first time since coming outside, Carol cast her eyes down at the ground. "You can't know how sorry I am." Her voice was quiet.
Brown eyes rolled to the sky and Monica huffed. "And that's supposed to make it better? What does it even matter? You're just going to up and leave anyway. Back off to save the world and everybody else." She waved her hand through the air. "I wish you would've just stayed away."
Carol simmered with both sadness and anger, not at Monica, but at herself. Her eyes flicked up to meet Monica's. "You really think I didn't want to come back home?" Monica folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes once more. "I made a promise Monica to help those families I destroyed. I made a promise." She was nearly pleading.
Steely brown eyes bored into Carol's as she spoke with measured words. "And what about this family?"
If Monica had reached out and slapped her across the face it would've probably hurt less. The silence was crushing. Monica just shook her head in disgust. She glanced down and saw her mom's hand wrapped around Carol's clenched fist and she smirked. "You know what, I'll just leave you two to your thing." She sighed. "I can't be here right now." She snatched her book bag off the ground and stalked off towards the Mustang parked in the long driveway.
Carol and Maria stood stunned quiet and just watched as the teenager tossed her bag in the car as she got in, turned on the ignition, and then promptly peeled off in reverse before hitting a quick parking break assisted spin out and then she was gone in a cloud of dust and gravel.
Maria moved first as she dragged her free hand down her face and let her shoulders slump. She could feel Carol's hand growing warm and she let go before she turned to face the other woman. Tears filled brown eyes and she could see how hard she was biting into to her lip in a poor effort to keep her chin from trembling.
"You okay?" Maria's words were just above a whisper.
Carol gave a slight nod and kept her eyes front. She was clearly fighting down the want to cry. "Y-you know," she began with a shaky breath. "I, uh, I've been launched into the side of a space ship, at um, about 200 mph," she paused to swallow. "And, um, this." She stopped and drew in a deep breath to stop the tremble. "I think this hurt worse." She let go of a loose chuckle and sniffled. She couldn't stop a few stray tears.
Maria ran her hands down Carol's arms. "C'mere." She pulled Carol to her in a hug.
Carol hugged her back and then made herself laugh. She squeezed Maria and then kissed her cheek before stepping back. "Wow. That was intense."
Maria ruffled her hair and looked at Carol sympathetically. "Honey, that's 16," she said drolly.
Carol snorted. "Christ, Maria, I really fucked this up." She raked her fingers through her hair and took a few steps in a small circle.
Maria watched the other woman for a moment and sighed. "Yeah, you kinda did."
Carol met her eyes and they both smiled sadly. "How do I fix this? I mean, if Monica's not on board?" She didn't even want to finish her thought.
Maria nodded. "If she's not on board Carol, then I don't know how we do this?" She shrugged and then blew out a breath. "How about we go inside and get a drink and then you can go find her."
"Me?!" Carol's eyes went wide and Maria laughed.
"Is big bad Captain Marvel scared of a 16-year-old?", she teased.
Carol nodded vigorously. "Yes! Yes, I am!"
Maria just laughed and held out her hand for the other woman to take. They walked hand in hand back into the house and into the kitchen.
Carol slumped down in the seat at the kitchen table, rested her elbows on the table and put her head in her hands. Behind her, she could go hear Maria putting ice in glasses and opening cabinets. A few minutes later Maria sat down two rocks glasses with a finger of whiskey in each.
They clinked glasses once Maria sat down in the chair next to her. After a sip in silence, Carol looked at Maria with confusion in her eyes. "What do I do here?"
Maria sat with Carol's leg trapped between her knees. She curtailed a few locks of hair behind Carol's ear. "Go talk to her. She's out for one of her drives. She likes to take the highway north. Go meet her and talk to her. Tell her what you told me, and maybe she'll listen."
"And if she doesn't?" There was real fear in her eyes.
Maria hadn't given that much thought as she pursed her lips. "How about we burn that bridge when we get to it." She patted Carol's cheek. "You can take the bike."
"Wait, you're not going with me?" Carol sat up straight."
"Oh, no." Maria sat back and shook her head. "No way. I'm afraid if I go and talk to little Miss Monica right now, I might end up in jail for child abuse before the sun goes down." She curled her upper lip and then sipped her drink.
"Ugh." Carol let her head fall forward onto Maria's shoulder.
Maria just chuckled and pressed a kiss to her hair. "Just go talk to her and tell her what you told me."
"You sure I can't just buy her a pony?" Carol's words were half-muffled as she raised her head.
"Ha!" She stood and grabbed the motorcycle keys off the hook next to the fridge. "Nice try, Ace. She's 16. Think, big. Think, yacht."
"Yacht? Like a yacht, yacht?!" Carol sat back stunned.
Maria had pity on her and just grinned. She cupped her cheek and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Go and talk. There's GPS on the car, but she won't be hard to find."
Carol groaned and finally stood up. "Fine. By the way, who taught her to peel out like that?" She put the keys in her pocket.
"I did," Maria said with pride before cutting her eyes at Carol. "Which I learned from you."
Carol smirked. "Yeah, you did." She moved through the living room and found a pair of boots and grabbed her leather jacket.
Maria met her at the front door. "She's does love you, but she's angry."
Carol let go of a resigned sigh but she put her shoulders back and stood up straight. "She's not wrong Maria. So, much time has passed." Her smile was sad. "Maybe too much."
"Only if you let it be too much." She held Carol's gaze before cupping her cheek and leaning in and softly kissing the other woman. "I'll be here when you get back."
Carol pressed a kiss to the palm of Maria's hand and then headed out the front door.
* * *
Three Hours Earlier.
Maria had the top half of her khaki-colored romper rolled down to her waist, exposing her white tank top. Safety gloves covered her hands as the toned muscles in her arms flexed when she pushed against the handle of the wrench. She leveraged her strength against the handle and eventually the bolt on the casing for the turbines gave way. "Good grief." She picked up the phone she had put down and stepped back.
"Sorry 'bout that, I just needed to get that stupid bolt off." The person on the other end started to say something, but Maria stopped them as she heard a whistle and dull thud. "Um, can you hang on a second." Maria held the phone in her left hand and pressed it against her shoulder as she picked up the large F-shaped pipe wrench from the table. She gripped the end tightly in case she needed to swing and she stepped quietly out from under the cover of the workshop in the backyard.
Tense shoulders relaxed and Maria found herself smirking About 20 feet away, rising up off of one knee from what was clearly not a 2pt landing, was Carol Danvers. A little worse for wear, with tired eyes, and mud on her boots, but she still wore a lopsided grin and bright brown eyes were fixed on Maria.
Maria stood stunned silent for a moment until she registered the sound of her name being faintly called. She looked down at the phone in her hand and blinked. "Hey, um, something came up. I need to take a rain check, okay." She barely waited for an answer as she pressed the end button and shoved the phone in her pocket. She tossed the wrench and took a few steps towards Carol, who was walking slowly in her direction.
They met on the grass. Carol's helmet receded and blonde hair spilled over her shoulders. She gave a nervous wave as she watched several emotions play over Maria's face. "Hey, you."
Maria just blinked repeatedly upon taking in the sight of Carol standing in front of her. Despite the bags under her eyes, she still had a youthful glow. Her eyes looked tired and she was definitely in need of a haircut, but she was certainly standing in front of her in one piece. "Hey yourself." Maria's response was as subdued as her smile. She let go of a laugh that sounded more unsure than it sounded amusing. Maria hugged her arms across her body, seemingly unsure if she wanted to reach out to Carol or not - she settled on the latter.
The action did not go unnoticed by Carol. Her smile wavered just a touch and she ducked her head a bit. "I, uh, just got in."
Maria nodded. "I can see that." She looked the other woman up and down in a cursory perusal. She appeared to be in one piece, and maybe it was just nerves and tension from them both, but something was off. "How about you come inside and I get you a beer and bath."
Carol picked her head up and grinned. "You saying I smell?"
Maria just rolled her eyes as she dropped her arms to her side. "Nah, I'm just saying you look like you could use a beer and bath." She winked and then turned to head inside. She could hear Carol take a deep breath and Maria took one of her own as they entered the house in silence.
Carol's eyes darted all around the home. The couch looked different, but the dining room table was still there and she was pretty sure the tv was new, but she wasn't sure. So much of the last time (the first time) she had been there was a blur. Her priorities had been different. She watched Maria head into the kitchen and Carol closed the door behind her.
"Why don't you leave your boots down here," she called out from the kitchen. "Suit, if you want to too, and I'll meet you in the bathroom." She stuck her head out of the kitchen and saw Carol unzipping her boot. "You remember the way right?" There was no sarcasm in her voice, but the subtext was there and they both knew it as they avoided each other's eyes.
"Um, uh, yeah. Sure thing." Carol focused on easing out of her boots and avoided Maria who retreated back into the kitchen. Carol held back her groan as she rubbed the back of her neck and then headed upstairs.
As she reached the hallway, for a moment she was unsure of which way to go. There was the bedroom, Maria's bedroom off to the right and then down at the end of the hallway was the guest bathroom. She froze.
Maria's voice rang out. "The tub's at the end of the hallway." Her voice carried up the steps. "Unless you want a shower?"
Carol shook her head at her own foolishness. "A bath sounds great actually." Carol made her way down the hallway and entered the bathroom. Clearly, this was Monica's domain. A pale purple cabinet was flush against the wall over the toilet. Its shelves were covered in all manner of hair products, makeup, a cd player/radio, and everything a teenager would need for a home spa. Carol didn't fight the smile that pulled at her lips. She peered at the neatly arranged shelves and picked up a bottle of nail polish. It was a glittery dark purple that reminded her of a Lagoba star field.
"Dear God, please don't use her nail polish or she will flip." Maria's voice was light.
Carol jumped a bit at the sound of Maria's voice. "Sorry, just looking."
Maria just nodded while she entered the sizable bathroom and headed towards the bathtub to her left. She turned on the faucet and ran her fingers under the water. When she was satisfied with the temperature she pulled the stopper and stood up.
Carol sat down on the closed toilet seat with her suit jacket unzipped and watched the other woman. Maria sat down on the edge of the tub and stretched out her arms to brace herself. They regarded one another in silence.
A long minute passed with only the sound of the running water to provide a soundtrack.
"Bubbles or no?"
Carol furrowed her brow in question.
Maria nodded towards the filling tub. "Bubbles? Or no?"
Carol nodded and tilted her head. "Maybe a few bubbles."
Maria's smile was small but it was genuine. She grabbed a bottle on the edge of the tub and poured the contents under the stream of water. She snapped the bottle shut and placed it back down before she faced Carol once more.
"So," Maria started. "How've you been?"
Carol chuckled softly to herself and ran a hand roughly through her hair. "Long answer or the short?"
Maria leaned forward a bit and held Carol's gaze for the first time. "I've got the time if you've got the time."
And there it was, just like her flying, Maria was a surgeon. The statement slipped right in between Carol's ribs and sliced all the important arteries. Carol kept her eyes locked to Maria's and she sat up straight as she answered, "I've got the time."
A heartbeat went by and finally, Maria stood up. She turned the faucet off. "Why don't you hop in and I'll go get that beer." She waited for Carol to stand before she moved towards the door. Carol made no attempt to move as Maria ended up in front of her. In her bare feet and Maria still in her boots, the darker woman was almost a head taller than Carol.
Warm brown eyes roamed over Carol's face once more and what she saw was not some intergalactic bad-ass superhero, but instead, she saw a woman who was weary with travel and just a little homesick. She saw Carol. For the first time since Carol had arrived, Maria's smile reached her eyes as she looked the other woman over. Maria almost stopped herself, but she threw good sense to the wind and raised her right hand to caress her jaw. The contact elicited immediate responses from them both.
Carol closed her eyes to the touch of Maria's hand against her cheek and she couldn't have cared less that a soft whimper rose from her throat.
Maria drew in a stuttering breath and felt the warmth of Carol's skin against her palm. She was really here. She was really home. Reluctantly, she dragged her hand away. "Don't let the water get cold." Her words lingered behind her as she headed to the kitchen for beers and a much needed moment to clear her head.
It was 12:45 in the afternoon on Friday, but that didn't' stop Maria from popping the top on a cold beer and taking a deep swig. She leaned back against the counter and let go of what could only be a relieved sigh. She put her beer on the counter and put her face in her hands before letting go of a silent scream. Her heart thundered against her chest and in the next breath, she found herself giggling into her hands. Eventually, she came up for air and she wiped at a few errant tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. If anyone else were upstairs she would've thought she was going crazy.
But no, upstairs was Carol Danvers: her best friend, her anchor, her strength, her fire, her love. When everything else burned away, Carol was always there: boot camp; flight school; birthing class; and always on her wing. Even when she wasn't there she was still there, haunting corners and lingering in her heart. Just as she had been too stubborn to die, Maria realized she herself, had been too stubborn to let Carol go. And this time she wasn't going to let Carol leave this time without making that clear. On an exhale she looked up to the ceiling. Only five minutes had passed since she left Carol upstairs, but she knew she was still there. She shook the thought from her mind and refused to add 'for now'. Maria swiped the two cold bottles off the counter and headed upstairs.
Maria entered the quiet of the bathroom to find Carol, with knees drawn up and staring at the tile. She sat the beers on the back of the toilet before moving to kneel down beside the tub. Maria wordlessly picked up the loofah along with the soap and dipped them both into the heat of the water. The muscles of Carol's back tensed even as Maria gently touched the material to her skin. She dipped into the soapy water and then drew slow circles across her exposed back. Carol remained still with her knees clutched to her chest, taking simple small breaths. Maria's fingers and the prickly roughness of the loofah swept across her back and Carol so badly wanted to unfurl herself and simply float, but then she thought that would be too much like the space that she left, and the only thing she wanted in this world at this moment, was to be firmly on the ground. More importantly, she wanted to be here with the sure feel of Maria's hands on her doing nothing other than willing her muscles back from atrophy and reminding her of what it felt like to be made malleable and worthy.
Maria's brown eyes stayed fixed to Carol's back as she drew the loofah up and down her spine, across shoulders, and down her arms. She made several sweeps across Carol's flesh and as she did she reacquainted herself with the lines and marks she knew so well. She also uncovered new marks and lines and skin. In places that she had long been familiar with she found scars. Some she knew well, like the little nick by the California shaped birthmark just beneath her left shoulder blade. She had gotten that crawling beneath barbed wire, not in boot camp, but from stealing away into a junkyard at 15 so she could steal parts for the go-kart she was building. Among the familiar nicks and bruises, she found new scars. Some were small bumps and what was clearly a sliver of discolored skin, probably from a burn on her right elbow. There was also a long laceration and something nasty on her right side that curled around the front.
Maria fought off angry tears. "Jesus, baby, what happened to you?"
Carol clutched her knees tighter in response and Maria said nothing when she saw the tears fall. Instead, she continued her ministrations. Her strokes were long and soothing. She covered every inch of skin. Her touch a balm to her body and spirit as if performing ablutions. She knew it wasn't enough, but at that moment it had to be enough, it needed to be enough for them both.
They stayed in the tub until Maria had washed every part of a compliant Carol. Hair washed and skin shiny with water, she helped her dry off and then they left the quiet of the bathroom. They ambled quietly to the bedroom and Maria helped her dress in a soft shirt and shorts before turning down the covers on the queen-sized bed.
Carol hadn't spoken in what felt like an hour, and as Maria tucked her in, Carol's only words were a mumbled jumble of "thank yous" and soft "sorrys"
Maria moved to leave and then she heard a voice scratchy and dry from disuse say, "will you stay with me? Just for a while."
Maria's smile was a little sad but mostly warm. She stripped to her underwear and tank top and got under the covers. Gone was the hesitation from earlier, so she did not falter as she reached out and pulled Carol against her. Simultaneously, they both emitted soft sighs at the feel of one another.
Carol gripped Maria's hand tightly and drew it up to her chest. They lay dozing until Carol spoke. "I didn't mean to be gone so long."
The kiss she placed on the nape of Carol's neck was meant to sooth. "I know baby, I kn-
Carol rolled over but stayed tucked close to the other woman. She curled in and rested her forehead against Maria's and held her hands. "You don't know, Maria. I wanted to do this right. I made a promise, and I just wanted to get it right, and I just needed-
Growing panic was evident in Carol's voice and Maria shushed her and freed her right hand so she could smooth her fingers along Carol's cheek. "It's okay, It's okay. You had a mission and I know you. I know you tried."
Carol was nodding her head and trying not to cry. "I tried, I did. I promise you." She felt Maria's lips on her forehead and she relaxed. "I promise."
"And you're here now, that's all that matters." She spoke the words against Carol's forehead and then she pressed a kiss there and on the bridge of her nose.
Carol took a deep calming breath aided by the feel of Maria combing her fingers through her hair. "I did it though." She smiled weakly.
With a lazy tone, Maria asked, "You did what?"
Almost a whisper, Carol responded. "We found a planet. A safe haven, the light engine, the whole thing." There was a tiny grin on her lips.
Maria smiled fully for the first time in an hour. She leaned back a bit, so she could look at Carol fully. "They're safe? Talos and his family? The others?"
Carol nodded and they met eyes. Her smile grew wide. "It's a Paradise, Maria. And it's on the other side of anything ever mapped. 23 light years away, in fact."
"23? Holy wow!" She blinked a few times to let the idea settle and what it might mean. "And what about the Kree?"
Carol's smile was triumphant. "A truce of sorts."
Dark eyebrows rose. "A truce?"
A head nod. "Yeah. It's holding for now."
Maria grinned, but then she sobered. "And when it doesn't?"
The corner of Carol's mouth turned up. "The Skrulls are so far away it won't much matter."
Maria was quiet for a beat as she took in the other woman's words and confident smirk. "Carol! That's amazing." She smoothed back the hair from Carol's forehead and they just gazed quietly at one another for a moment. The air was thick with trepidation and finally, it was Carol who moved in first, pressing a soft kiss to Maria's lips. Just as Maria began to reciprocate, Carol pulled back with a quick jerk.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to presume."
Maria chuckled. "Since when does Carol Danvers need to presume."
Blonde eyebrows arched high. She sputtered out, "well, I just- I mean- It's been, well, you know-uh, and I don't know if-
Maria stopped her rambling with a kiss. It was sweet and slow, simply a meeting of lips, but it was grounding and familiar. "You're cute when you ramble."
Carol blushed and then with more confidence she kissed Maria, and then they were kissing each other in earnest. Fingers found purchase on familiar spots and their kisses were not frantic, but patient and reverent.
"I missed this so much," Carol said between kisses. "I hate that it took so long. I just didn't know what was real or a wish."
Maria ignored her relieved tears and buried her fingers in Carol's slightly damp hair and tugged her closer as they lost themselves to enjoying to feel of each other's mouths. She too, couldn't remember what was real or remembered at this point anymore either, but for now, the present was the only thing that made any sense. Carol was here, in her arms, in the bed that should be theirs and Maria was caught up in the fever of her presence.
In a near breathless soft voice, she spoke. "I haven't wished for anything else but this for so long." She sucked on Carol's bottom lip and they both moaned at the action.
Her heart beat a chaotic rhythm against her chest as their legs tangled together. "I've been thinking about you and us for so long, so forgive me if I'm a bit rusty." Her laugh was self-conscious.
Maria giggled as she gripped Carol's hip and slid her thigh between her legs. With a devious smirk, she watched Carol's eyes roll back in pleasure. "I think we'll be fine."
Carol could only hum her agreement as she kissed her way down Maria's throat. They moved together with soft moans and stuttering breaths providing a soundtrack to their movements. Carol kissed and sucked her way up the other side of Maria's neck before she found full lips to lose herself in once more. Their kiss was deep and slow, drawing on as much muscle memory as they drew on the excitement of a new experience.
The sound of Carol sucking in a deep breath made them both laugh out loud. "I may be out of practice, but I am so happy to be home."
Maria's head fell back against the pillow and she caressed Carol's cheek with her hand before allowing herself to get lost in the safety of Carol's bright brown eyes. Like the rings of agate that they resembled, her face may not have aged much, but in her eyes, she could see the passage of time, and she saw in her eyes what hadn't been there before: she remembered her.
Carol's smile grew as she held Maria's gaze and observed her moment of epiphany. She nuzzled her nose against the smooth dark brown skin that she had dreamt of for so long, and then finally remembered. Like fired clay, the memory of Maria was seared into her synapses even before she knew who she was or what they were to one another. Carol was near tears, elated that she could finally look the other woman in the eye and have her know that she remembered what they were to one another, and more than that, that she was ready to come home.
The words pierced the bubbled of their reunion and Maria pushed gently against Carol's collarbone. "So wait, what does that mean exactly?"
Carol arched an eyebrow and Maria plucked her shoulder. "That I'm out of practice?" she jested.
"Carol don't play with me. I heard what you said. What's that mean for Captain Marvel?"
Carol stopped smirking and looked at Maria with devotion in her eyes. "It means that if you'll have me, if you want me, I'm ready to come home."
Maria was quiet for a beat while she looked over the woman in her bed, smelling of her soap, and dressed in clothes kept for her. This was the woman she had thought of for so long she couldn't remember if they were her memories or her dreams. She wasn't a fool, she knew Carol might never return, but that didn't stop the hope in her heart and it didn't stop the prayers for her safety. She drew her fingers along Carol's brow, down her cheeks, and across her lips. She was real and this was no dream.
Her voice was soft but strong. "Welcome home."
Carol's smile brightened up her face until she was actually glowing. And then Maria laughed and they started to kiss and kiss, and hands began to roam, and soon things were a lot more heated than before. Gone was the hesitance and anxiety. This was a sacred space and places they knew. Fuller in some places, harder in others, new scars, and old scars. Suddenly, Carol's shirt hit the floor and Maria giggled when Carol pushed up her tank top and assaulted her stomach with kisses.
Carol was moving up her sternum on her way to finding the sweet spot on her neck, before nibbling on her chin and lips. After that, they were rolling and jostling for leverage because that had always been a fight they liked to have. Maria thought that she might just let Carol win this time. But then there was the sound of a door and footsteps and Maria registered it before Carol, and next she was pushing and Carol was falling, and then Monica, -all 5 foot 7 inches of her- was standing in the doorway, and Maria was wincing, and Carol was still laughing before she finally sat up and saw Monica.
The ice in Monica's eyes chilled the entire room.
Blazing brown eyes glared at her mom and then to the woman on the floor. "Are you kidding me!!?? Are you kidding me?!" Her bangles clanked together as her hands flailed through the air and her braids swung, as she whipped her head between the two women.
Maria was wrapped in the sheet and Carol could only fold her arms across her bare chest. This was worse than getting caught by her father with Jimmy Medwin in her basement when she was 12.
Monica's voice boomed with frustration and shock. "I've been calling you for like a whole damn hour! I thought something happened to you! And this-this is what happened. Argh." She stomped her foot. "This is bullshit!" She gripped her book bag strap and stormed down the steps. They heard the front screen door slam.
"Shit," Maria whispered out. She quickly put on her shirt and snatched Carol's off the floor. She handed it to the now standing woman.
"Um, so are you in trouble or am I?" Carol asked as she put her shirt back on.
Maria stepped into her jeans and she huffed. "Oh, I think this is definitely a "we" thing." The sound of her zipper broke the quiet. "Put your pants on Danvers." Maria didn't wait for her as she headed down the stairs.
* * *
Present
Maria's tip had been spot on, so she didn't even need the GPS.
She spotted the maroon of her old Mustang as Monica made her way up Route 61 north towards Baton Rogue. Thankfully, while she may have been incensed at Carol, she wasn't taking her anger out on the clutch. Carol, on the other hand, had opened up the throttle on the vintage Indian Scout Motorcycle and gained on the Mustang. Monica was driving with the windows down and her left arm riding on the wind, hanging out of the lowered window. The wind distorted the sound and Carol wasn't sure she would even know the song anyway, but Monica was crooning along with something as she made her way down the desolate route.
A few sparse cars were headed South, but for the foreseeable stretch of a mile, it was just Carol and Monica. As they followed the curve, Monica must've finally noticed her tail because the brake lights went on and the car slowed. Carol watched as the hazards began to blink and she too slowed and pulled over onto the shoulder while Monica came to a stop. Carol let go of the clutch, slowing to a stop on the passenger side of the car.
Monica bounced her head against the headrest and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. "What do you want Carol?" She didn't both to even turn in Carol's direction.
"Just to talk, Monica." The teenager just kept her shades on and her eyes front. "Just give me five minutes, that's all."
Monica grimaced and just squeezed the steering wheel tighter. "There's nothing you can say to me right now."
Carol's stomach churned with fear. She looked through the open window and willed the young woman to look at her. "Then race me."
"Huh?" Monica turned her head and scowled. "What?"
Carol shrugged and smirked. "Let's race. C'mon." She smiled.
"I'm not racing you, Carol." Monica turned away.
"Look, if I win, you have to give me five minutes."
Monica pursed her lips after a moment. "And if I win?"
"Then just give me two."
Monica shook her head and Carol could tell she was rolling her eyes. "Fine. There's a dirt road two miles down. Take it to right and we've got a whole drag."
Carol just nodded and kept her smile modest. "Lead the way." She stopped short of adding the nickname, "Trouble", and sat back and waited.
Monica pulled off a moment later with Carol in her rear view.
The asphalt gave way to dirt about a mile down the road, and as if she had Carol in her ear, Monica shifted gears and took off.
Carol just laughed and stopped to smile with pride at the teenager's instincts. In the next breath, she brushed off her nostalgia and hit the throttle. She easily kept up with Monica and honestly, it wasn't a race she was trying to win, but as Carol sighted what looked to be a huge ditch and essentially the end of their track, she knew she was out of time. She kept up with the wheel well of the Mustang and risked a glance to her left.
Monica kept her hands gripped tight to the steering wheel and her eyes forward, but a few surreptitious glances in Carol's direction revealed her anxiety.
Carol glanced once more to her left when it seemed Monica wasn't going to ease off the gas, but then the ditch was coming up fast and Monica had to make a decision. She cut it close, but at about 500 yards, she took her foot off the gas and pulled the parking brake. A swirl of dust and rock kicked up as she drifted to a stop.
Carol blasted through the dust cloud and realized a second too late that she had missed her safe stopping point. She let go of the clutch and braced herself for what she knew was going to be a hard drag. Thankfully, she was wearing her leather jacket. She made a hard turn and let gravity do its job while she pushed away from the falling bike. She rolled as best she could before sending the bike into a slide away from her body and headed towards the ditch. When she heard the crunch of metal hit cement, she rolled onto her back in a cloud of dust.
Her head was abuzz and the road rash on her side hurt like hell, but she was fine. Between Kree blood and Tesseract energy, she was already on her way to healing. Carol sat up and swiped at the dirt on her chin. She looked over at the smoke coming from the ditch where she could see the back of the still spinning rear wheel of the bike.
"She's going to kill you." Monica's voice cut across the dying engine.
Carol nodded before she eased up to her feet and dusted off her scraped up and ripped jeans. She roughly tousled her hair and swiped at the dirt on her jacket, and then headed towards Monica, who was leaning back on the hood the car with her arms folded and her lips in a serious straight line. She pushed her sunglasses up on top of her hair and it was clear the fire was still there in her eyes.
Carol grumbled to herself as she came to stand in front of the young woman. She tried a lighter approach. "So does that mean I get five minutes or two?"
Monica's response was an arched eyebrow.
So much like her mother, Carol thought. She held up her hands in surrender. "Look, Monica, I know you hate me right now and I don't blame you." She pushed her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "I messed up, I get it. But you have to know it was never my intention to be away from you or your mom for this long. Believe me, I wanted to get back here soon."
Monica unfolded and refolded her arms across her chest. "Well, we both wanted a lot of things and seemed like we didn't get them. There's no point."
Carol let loose a frustrated growl. "I don't accept that." Her voice rose a bit. "You have to know how sorry I am." She pulled her right hand from her pocket and touched a hand to her chest. "There isn't a galaxy large enough that could house all of the sorry that I am, but you need to know that I had to follow through."
Monica groaned and tossed her hands up. "Yes, I know. Mission and soldiers, yada, yada, yada." She gathered her braids in her fist and twisted before releasing. "Four years, Carol. Four. Years. You couldn't make it back just once? Not once? Send a space shuttle or freaking alien envoy for all I care." She kicked at the dirt and sniffled.
The sight of Monica's tears made Carol want to hurl herself into oncoming traffic. For a fleeting second, Monica was that little girl with the huge brown eyes and missing teeth that looked at Carol like she had invented the solar system. For all of Monica's early life, Carol had been the soother of tears and not the person that caused them. Whether it was skinned knees or bad dreams, Carol had been there to swoop in and kiss away Monica's tears, chase away the monsters, and help her realize that everything was going to be okay. She was always there until she wasn't. Standing there and listening to the strain in Monica's voice, to the remnants of the little girl she lost, she understood with perfect clarity why she had dreaded this moment.
She wanted to find the right answer, but even as she formed the words, she knew there was no perfect answer. "It would've never reached you in time," she began in a soft voice. "Even if I tried, it would've never reached you and I guess-
Monica stalked closer to Carol with her hands curled into fists at her sides. "So, you didn't even try did you?" Her eyes were full of tears. "Tell the truth. You didn't even try?" Her voice broke and Monica saved them both by turning away to lean on the hood the car.
Carol sucked in a breath, seemingly surprised by the revelation. She felt a pulse of heat hit her hands, but she tamped down on her rising panic. What she needed at this moment was oddly enough, what Yon-Rogg had always tried to instill her: indifference and control.
She took a cleansing breath and chose her words carefully. Tears edged her eyelids. "I was afraid of this." She used her hand to gesture across the chasm of space between them. "There was always something in the way and then one year became two and I just wanted to finish what I had started before I came back, before I came home, and then..." Carol trailed off as Monica turned around with bleary red eyes. "And then, I guess, I guess I was just afraid."
Monica's empty chuckle was derisive. She shook her head in disappointment and let go of a resigned sigh. "Afraid? You?" Her head shook in disbelief. "Nah, I think you were a coward." She locked eyes with the other woman, the woman she thought to be her other mom, her hero, her idol, and she watched her shrink under her withering gaze. The fight had left Monica's voice and the exhaustion was evident as she spoke in a flat, even tone. "If we didn't abandon you after six years, why would we abandon you after one or two?" She wiped roughly at the tears that spilled. "It's like you didn't even try." Briefly, she sounded like that little girl who couldn't quite make sense of why her goldfish was floating upside down in the bowl when she had gotten home from pre-school one Tuesday a lifetime ago.
Carol's heart ached because she knew she was responsible for all that pain and she wasn't sure how she could ever make it right. "I know you don't believe me, but I did try. And maybe you're right, maybe I was a coward." She swallowed hard. "I just didn't want to disappoint you or your mom or Talos and Soren or anybody."
Monica rubbed her palms down her cheeks and let out a small growl of frustration. "First of all, there's no way you could ever disappoint my mom, and more than that I thought we were your family. We would've figured it out. That's what you and mom and Nana and Papa taught me. We were a family, and no matter what, we'd work it out."
In an effort to keep the tears from falling, Carol tilted her head back and looked up the sky. A lush orange and pink had begun to set in against the fading pale blue of the early evening sky. "You have to know that you and your mom are sometimes the only things that kept me going. I could give you a lifetime of apologies, but I'm not sure that would matter much right now."
Monica's smile was sad and she just shook her head. "What's that apology going to matter if you're only going to leave again?"
Carol let the silence stretch between them. She wanted to tell her that she promised she'd never leave again, but that would be a lie. She wanted to scream she was sorry, but that wasn't what would mend this heartbreak. Carol watched Monica move towards the driver's side door, she knew whatever hope she had for reconciliation was slipping away.
She watched her sit down behind the steering wheel and it wasn't until the door closed that Carol allowed her feet to move. She jogged towards the car. "Tell me how to fix this, Mon'? I don't know how to fix this." Carol let her tears fall as she could hear herself pleading.
The car's engine revved to life as Monica started the ignition. She looked up at Carol with sad brown eyes. "I'm not sure I know how to either." She shrugged her shoulder and waited until Carol took a step back before putting the car in reverse and heading away from the unpaved strip.
Carol just watched the sight of the tail lights as they faded into the distance. When the lights were finally out of sight, Carol didn't stifle the surge of heat that pulsed in her hands. With a soul-splitting yell, she sent out two simultaneously photon blasts into the gravel and dirt. The force reverberated through her body and she launched herself up into the sky like a missile. In no time at all, Carol hovered above the earth in the dark cool of space. She looked down on C-53 with a mix of hurt and awe. So much of her life, what she could remember and even the parts she had yet to remember, were all down there on the ground. The rest of her had been born out here. There were brief moments when she almost yearned for the simplicity and structure of Vers' life. Almost. The moment she felt like she could simply lose herself in the vastness of space, she remembered what it was like to kiss Maria, and what it was like to hear Monica laugh, and what it felt like when they were a family. No matter what she had lost in those six years thanks to the Kree, she had never lost Maria and Monica. Sure, the faces were blurred and the images were broken, but they were always there, and she was always trying to get back them, even when she was running from herself.
Monica's last few words washed over Carol, and as she headed back towards Earth, back towards home, she realized that she needed to show Monica and even Maria that they were worth the fight. Carol landed near the ditch, so she could retrieve Maria's bike, whereupon she headed to the SHIELD desert base.
TBC...