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The girl was avoiding him. Lysander wasn’t sure why that bothered him so much. He had only met her twice. The day he woke up she had come into his hospital room, asking him if he was okay. He had been so confused, but had covered it up and greeted her politely before asking her who she was. She had froze, not moving at all for a moment. He really only remembered her particularly for one reason. The look in her eyes. There had been this twinkle in them, but at his words, it extinguished, and they just seemed…Broken. It was odd to see and bothered him for reasons he couldn’t explain. She had quickly excused herself and rushed out of the room, despite Rosalya trying to stop her.
Lysander had only seen her once since then, and the encounter had only left him more confused. He had lost his notebook, the key to remembering the people, the places, the things that he had forgot. He had been looking for it for almost an hour when he heard a small voice.
“Excuse me?”
He’d turned and seen the girl again, her eyes on the ground as she held out his notebook with shaky hands. He took it from her with a smile that quickly turned into a frown as she ran away from him. His grip tightened on the notebook before he dismissed it as her being shy. Until the day she walked up to him.
“Can we talk?” The girl asked, beckoning to him. He followed her, curious. Did he know her? Surely, she meant something to him, since she was in his hospital room when he woke up. Though his friends hadn’t changed (That was a lie. Castiel had lost his temper and he was now almost mellow about things. And Rosalya kept looking at the girl who was leading him, something sad in her eyes), he still felt an emptiness in his heart where there wasn’t one before. Perhaps this girl was the key to fixing that.
She walked him to the courtyard looking around (For Castiel or Rosalya, perhaps?) before sitting on one of the benches and patting the area next to her. He tentatively sat next to her, and folded his hands in his lap before looking to her.
“I knew you before my accident, didn’t I?” He asked before she opened her mouth. She instantly seemed to shrink into herself, and he almost regreted mentioning it. Just as he was about to apologize she spoke.
“Yes. Me and you were close. You were my boyfriend. I loved you, you and your possessiveness and your kindness, your courage, and your stupidity and god Lys, why the hell weren’t you looking where you were looking?” She didn’t give him a chance to respond. He was glad in a way. What could he even say to that?
“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t blame you because you aren’t mine to yell at. My Lysander, the Lysander that I loved,” She faltered for a moment,” He-He’s gone. And, I can’t bear it. Because you’re still you, but you’re not! My Lysander died, the second that car struck him, and seeing you look at me with no recognition on your face, like I’m a stranger…I can’t.” She stopped and wiped her tears away. “I love you. I need you to know that. I do, Lys I really do. But this, being around you in this state, it is nothing short of agony. So, I’m transferring to Loin Du Chagrin High*. I know I’m being selfish, and to the part of you that knew me and felt for me as I felt for you, I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t want to leave without you knowing the truth. I’m sorry about all the trouble I’ve caused.” She finished, giving him a broken smile.
Lysander grasped his broken memories, trying desperately to remember this girl that loved him with such passion. For a moment, he thought he remembered something. It was on the edge of his mind, something about Castiel’s old girlfriend Deborah and how she had hurt the girl in front of him. But it slipped away as soon as it came and he was stuck with nothing to give the girl. His helplessness must have shown on his face because she gave him a soft smile, one that made his heart ache. How lucky, he thought to himself, that this beautiful girl had loved him. And how horrible it must be for her to see him, a boy who looked and acted like her beloved but who did not know her at all. He hated himself in that moment for not being the boy she wanted him to be.
A hand touching him broke through his wave of self-loathing and he saw the girl had taken her hand in his. She wasn’t crying anymore, and now simply had a morose look about her. That didn’t seem right.
“How can you not hate me?” He asked before he could stop himself. He expected many things, but the one thing he did not expect was her to throw her head back and laugh bitterly.
“I could never hate you. How could I? You’re still you, after all. It’s not your fault that Nina-“ An angry spark in her sad sad eyes appeared but she closed them and took a deep breath. When she opened then they were clear again. “It doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that you’re okay. I couldn’t live with myself if you were hurt, Lysander.” She smiled at him and gave his hand a squeeze before letting go. Lysander found he missed the warmth of her hand in his. Even though she had dried tears on her cheeks and her eyes were red from crying she looked beautiful. Lysander wished once again he could remember her.
He thought for a second about kissing her. About pressing those cherry colored lips against his chapped ones. He could almost taste her; almost taste the strawberry lip-gloss he somehow knew she used. Oh, how he wanted to kiss her. But the question was, would his affection be accepted?
He hesitantly leaned in towards her and brushed his lips against hers. The girl immediately let out a groan and pulled him closer, tangling her hands into his silvery strands of hair. He savored the feeling of her lips, moving his against hers as their tongues intertwined.
Soon they parted so they could breathe. Lysander was surprised to see that pretty girl who he didn’t know but made his heart beat faster anyway scrutinizing him. She cupped his cheek and he subconsciously leaned into it.
“Maybe you’re not gone after all, My Lysander.” She said smiling at him, and reached down to take a hold of his hand. Her smaller hand fit perfectly in his, and Lysander marveled at the fact before smiling back hesitantly.
They could never have one they once did. But, Candy thought as he smiled back, they could try. Maybe trying to get him back wasn’t as hopeless as she thought. If nothing else, they could start anew. She was still pissed at Nina and now had to talk her parents out of transferring to Loin Du Chagrin High School*, not to mention stop avoiding Rosalya and Castiel. But with Lysander by her side (even an amnesiac Lysander) she felt she could do anything. She always had. If nothing else, that hadn’t changed.
“Oh. By the way, my name is Candy.” She told him, suddenly remembering he didn’t know it. And as Lysander laughed before reclaiming her lips, he thought about a poem he had found in the back of his notebook.
She doesn’t know how I feel.
And that’s okay,
Cause I love her anyway.
My Sucre,
Amour.