Chapter Text
Life moved on. Cindy however, could not. How could she forget the day she had almost died? The bruises on her arms from being held captive still hadn't faded. She could still feel the hot muzzle of the gun millimetres away from her head, how could she forget that she had been just a trigger away from a painful and gory death?
The bruises were the physical manifestation of her fear but they too, would someday fade away. Her fear would not. She hadn't had a single night's sleep without nightmares, all because some monsters wearing the guise of humans had decided that her life didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. She had wanted to scream and scream that she was a human too, that they had no right to end her life, fury and fear warring for domination. In the end, the fear of death had won. Didn't it always?
She had waited for this nightmare to end. For her mother to wake her up like any other morning. But her mother was nowhere to be seen, all she could see was a sea of frightened and sympathetic faces before she gave in to the darkness at the edges of her vision and lost consciousness.
The next time she opened her eyes, Mrs. Dodds, the lunch supervisor for the week was holding her, murmuring comforting words that she couldn't make out but appreciated nonetheless. And she had been so relieved to be alive that she had almost started laughing. Almost. Because studying in as prestigious a school as Midtown high required you to be more intelligent and logical than most.
That she had escaped from the ordeal with her life and organs intact meant one of the two things. Either Police had caught the terrorist..... or she had been replaced. She looked around her to find that it was the latter. Unsurprising but disappointing all the same. Her heart ached with sympathy for the one who took her place and yet she felt vile and guilty to be finding relief that at least it wasn't her.
And then she found that the poor soul who had replaced her was none other than Peter Parker. She had been horrified. Out of every other person in this room, Parker was probably the least deserving of the role. Many had been envious of his intellect and sharp wit. He was a genius but a harmless nerd, and thus the perfect victim for people like Flash Thompson.
Nobody deserved to die here. Peter, least of all. Everybody had heard about the Parkers, how his uncle had died from a gunshot wound. How all May Parker had left was her nephew who was like a son to her. Cindy tried to put herself in May's shoes and wondered how she would feel if she, too, lost her husband and nephew/son within a span of 2 years.
Try as she might, she still couldn't imagine that pain.
Seeing Peter being yanked and shaken, the muzzle of the gun almost touching his forehead, Cindy had only one thought-
'History repeats itself'
She couldn't quite hear what the terrorists were saying over the sound of blood roaring in her ears. The only thing she could do was watch the boy who had taken her place and indirectly saved her from death. Even if the choice hadn't really been his, she would still feel grateful to him forever for saving her life.
She was one of the many who had closed her eyes when the shooter had pulled the trigger. She had been one of those to scream. Oh how she had screamed! And kept screaming. A pained whimper had been followed by a thump of a body hitting the ground and that had erased all her doubts and shattered all her hope of Peter being safe somehow.
It was so difficult to open her eyes over the flowing tears. But Peter deserved being mourned and acknowledged for the hero he had been. So she opened her eyes after readying herself to see the bloody and broken body of Peter Parker.
She saw the most wonderful of things instead. Out of all the things she had imagined seeing, the leader of the terrorists howling on the floor and Peter standing in a well practiced fighting stance hadn't even made the list.
The rest of it had been like a dream, until the terrorist leader had captured Ned Leeds and taken him as hostage, and that dream had bled into a nightmare again. She had always thought of her would-be murderer as a hideous monster, but the blood flowing down his head and broken nose surpassed even her own expectations of a grotesque visage.
And she had felt drained and resigned. How was Peter going to save Ned? Ned himself was trembling like a leaf in the wind, much like she herself had, she imagined. There was no way Peter was going to see his bff being harmed. Super-assassin-like fighting be damned, there was no way they could win this.
And Peter had proved them wrong. Again. She had never been this happy to be proved wrong 3 times in a day. Peter had shown another hidden ace, and shot - honest to god- shot the leader like a professional shooter.
In the time to come, when she'd had regained her wits, she would wonder how many aces Peter Parker still had, hidden under the sleeves of his oversized sweatshirt.
The police and Ironman had arrived and the rest was- as they said- history.
It was a piece of history that deserved to stay in a museum and in the minds of every single person in Midtown high - students and staff alike.
She had been showered with attention and pampered by her parents , friends and well wishers. It should've pleased her but it didn't . She felt hollow and changed. A near death experience did that, she reckoned.
Her bithday was a mere days away. But she still wasn't interested in the party. Oh she was grateful alright. She was so grateful to be able to celebrate her birthday, but at the same time it irritated her. Everybody was behaving as if nothing had changed. Everybody was acting as if the incident had never happened. But it had, and the bruises and memories would never let her forget it. Her memories felt like a phantom pain in her heart, the demons that came awake when she lowered her guard low enough to sleep.
"Miss Moon, are you alright?" Ms. Warren's voice startled her into reality.
"Uh y-yeah" she replied.
The concerned expression on her chemistry teacher's face did nothing to make her feel better.
"Then you should go for lunch before you are late. The bell has rung already." Mrs. Warren said gently, as if any more louder and Cindy would break like glass.
She sighed. "Yeah I'll do that" and went off to get her lunch. In reality, she never wanted to set foot in that place again. Her memories were too recent for that, like an open wound that hadn't scabbed over.
So she decided to sit in a quiet and peaceful alcove known to very few students.
She had lost her appetite (if she'd even had it before) by the time she reached her hidden sanctuary. Food didn't appeal to her now a days. Nothing did. She was just an empty husk of who she used to be, and she knew that there were so many other people who had worse than her, but maybe she was just weak and pathetic that way.
So many questions warred in her mind. Why does she have to be the one? Why was she so weak? Why couldn't she just forget it all? Why was she so affected? It wasn't as if she was the only hostage to have a gun to her temple. Peter and Ned had been in her place too. And they didn't seem to be struggling.
She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't realise that she wasn't alone in her sanctuary till a polite cough startled her into reality for the second time in the day.
She looked over to see Peter sitting near her, in all his nervous and awkward glory. That was one of the things which made him Peter Parker. Even when the whole school was heralding him as their hero (rightly so), he had chosen to sit near an ungrateful classmate who hadn't even thanked him for saving her life. She decided to remedy it now.
"I should thank you for saving my life"
Peter jumped as if he was surprised that Cindy had talked to him on her own volition.
"Uh- um you are welcome......" He replied while nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
For all intents and purposes, he was back to being the same old Peter Parker- the nerd, instead of the Saviour they had all glimpsed on the day of the school shooting.
"How?" She asked after a moment od silence.
How are you so normal after everything that happened? How did you learn to fight like that? How can you forget it all and move on so easily? How are you so calm when you know that you could've died? How are you not having panic attacks now? How are you even alive?
His lips quirked up in a sort-of smile and he answered
"I accepted it."
........ as if that answered each and every one of her questions. She waited for him to continue and grew impatient when he didn't say anything else.
"What?" She asked finally.
He looked at her with eyes that seemed wiser than his years, eyes that spoke of endless struggles, eyes that looked suspiciously similar to Captain America, Ironman, War machine and many others that she saw in the tv, fighting criminals to save innocents.
The eyes of a hero.
And she had an epiphany. Peter Parker was so much more than what they had thought him to be. They had woefully underestimated him.
" I didn't try to forget anything. I didn't try to forget that I could've died that day. I didn't try to forget that my uncle had died from a gunshot too. I simply accepted it.
When you accept that something bad happened to you, instead of forgetting it or living in denial, you get the energy to move on. Yes, I could've died that day, but I didn't. And that makes all the difference.
If we think about dying every day, we'd never be able to live a single day in our lives. Death is a fact, but so is life. And why would I want to waste the life I've been gifted, the second chance I've got just because of something that could've happened but didn't? Life is too short and fragile to live in the past or the future." He ended solemnly, meaning every single word he said.
His strong conviction was infectious, and she could feel some of it transferring into her. She pondered over what he said and realized what a huge mistake she had made. She had been so preoccupied with living in that painful memory that she had overlooked the fact that she still had her life, her parents, her friends, everything.
She realised that her memories of that day were like an infected wound that needed to be cleaned and not covered. Let this experience be a reminder that her life was precious and nobody could ruin her life if she didn't give them the power to do just that.
"Thanks, for everything." she said, putting all her feelings of gratefulness behind those three words.
Peter nodded at her and they shared a few moments of companionship in silence before the bell rang, signifying the end of lunch time. They got up to go to their respective classes.
Earlier, she had thought about talking to her parents to cancel her birthday party, but now she felt how wrong she had been. She was going to live her life, because that was the best revenge against the terrorists who had tried to kill her. She was going to celebrate her life because she knew better now. Her attitude had been so toxic and hurtful to her loved ones.
She looked up to see Peter talking to his best friends animatedly.
"Hey Peter and friends!" She called to get their attention "You are invited to my birthday party this week" she said with a wide and heartfelt smile.
Because she sure as hell wasn't going to lose her second chance.