Work Text:
It was a bright day in May in Japan on a street commonly visited by many, including a specific group of teenagers. The street held home to many things such as a grocery store, movie theatre, and a few smaller shops for things like plant care. An arcade as well.
But only one place matters in this story. The Big Bang Burger restaurant. It was a fast food chain, very popular, ran by Okumura Foods.
On this early day of May, two students walked in. One with black hair, partially combed but still a bit messy, a nerdy look to him with glasses on top of his nervous face. His charm stat was pretty low. What a nerd. Regardless, this boy was Ren Amamiya, AKA Joker. The leader of the Phantom Thieves, holder of a Smash invitation, and gifted with the ability to use any Persona.
And a pretty girl followed in as well, close in age to Ren. She had long dark red hair tied into a ponytail, and wore a Shujin Academy uniform (Ren wore one as well) and had a bow atop her hair. Her name was Kasumi Yoshizawa. She excitedly followed the boy, who went to the cashier and pulled his wallet out.
”What can I get you?” the lady at the cash register asked.
”I’ll have a small cheeseburger” Ren ordered for himself, because he was a weak soul who had no guts, “and a Big Bang Burger” he ordered for the girl, who was clearly much more powerful than the puny Ren Amamiya.
”Thanks!” the red haired girl spoke to her good friend. They walked over to the table, and within about six minutes their food was prepared. Joker had his tiny cheeseburger, especially in comparison to Kasumi’s order of a massive burger half the size of her entire body.
Ren watched with a bit of concern as Kasumi quickly took the “challenge” on (which was more of a hobby for her), and began devouring the burger on the spot.
This wasn’t the reason Ren invited her here though. They had been friends for a good whike, already a good confidant ranking, nearing the top of the chart. In between bites, or at least the two second gap before Kasumi chomped once more, Ren tried to start some talk.
He had feelings for the girl, feelings he wanted to confess here.
A few minutes passed as Kasumi nearly finished her entire burger, one bite left. Looking at it with an intense stare, she began talking to Ren’s surprise.
”I know we’ve only known each other for such a short time, but..” Kasumi said, getting closer to her meal. “I love you.”
Ren mistakingly gasped for a moment, “W-wh.. I..” he tried to get his thoughts together before he went right back to her. “I love you too!” the Phantom Thief leader shouted.
”Huh?” Kasumi said, confused.
”I was talking to the burger.” she revealed before taking the last bite. Ren fell over in his chair, probably temporarily dead for the moment, while Kasumi yelled to the staff to order another one for herself.
—-
Way, wayyy later, in the Velvet Room..
Now in a prisoner attire, Ren walked out past two twins, in police attire, to face a man with a very very long nose. Like seriously, he could sword fight Crow with it. He could stab someone and end their life with his nose. His name was Igor.
”Welcome to the Velvet Room.” the giant nose man spoke. His nose is really big btw. “I’ve decided to look over the events you’ve gone through and judge the bonds you tightly hold with those around you. It has been a year since you began this journey. Now..”
Igor pulled out a day to day calendar of all of Joker’s actions.
”...What..” Igor said in confusion.
May 1st: Took Kasumi to Big Bang Burger
May 2nd: Took Kasumi to Big Bang Burger
May 3rd: Took Kasumi to Big Bang Burger
May 4th: Took Kasumi to Big Bang Burger
Every other day in May: Took Kasumi to Big Bang Burger
All of the Summer months: Took Kasumi to Big Bang Burger
Fall, Winter, the next Spring, every single day: Took Kasumi to Big Bang Burger
"Y-you’ve spent every day with Kasumi?!” Igor shouted. “How many palaces have you been to?”
”One.” Joker said, referring to Kamoshida.
”Have you even met Yusuke?!” Igor shouted in confusion, as he’s been through Persona 5 already.
”Who?” Ren questioned.
”Did you skip the entire game’s story just to be with Kasumi?!” Igor broke character, not knowing what the purpose in life wasn’t anymore.
”what game” Ren said. “smash?”
"Why did you do this?” the long nose man who had a long nose sighed.
”hungry gf” Joker said, killing Igor’s remaining sanity.
Igor kicked Ren out of the Velvet Room and cancelled Persona 6.