Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Tsuna was six, he found a baby bird in his backyard.  It was pale and ugly, all veiny with bulging eyes and sparse tiny hairs scattered over its almost translucent skin.  It was also sitting under the steel grate of the barbecue grill atop a pile of ashes and charcoal.

He pulled out the grate and gently scooped up the bird with both hands along with a generous pile of ash.  It was almost uncomfortably warm, but Tsuna paid it no mind.  The chick that had stopped peeping when the boy had opened the grill looked up and Tsuna calmly looked back down.  

“Hello.  My name is Tsuna.”

The chick tilted its head as if to consider his words before chirping back a greeting.

“Where’s your family?”

He received a blank look for his question.

“Are you alone?”

Another blank look.

“Are you…hungry?”

This time he got a more enthusiastic reply and the tiny creature wiggled a bit sending ashes spilling over the edges of Tsuna’s cupped palms.

“It’s almost time for dinner.  Mama’s really good at cooking.  I’m sure you’ll like it and I’m sure that she’ll let you stay inside too.  We need to use that grill tomorrow so you can’t live there.”

He carefully stepped off the small stool he had used to retrieve the bird.

“Maybe when you get bigger, we can try to find out what you are and if there are others like you.”

The chirp he received sounded sort of dubious and maybe just a bit disappointed, like it didn’t really believe that he would be able to.

“Don’t worry.  If you don’t have any family, then you can be mine.  No one should have to grow up all alone.”

“Of course it can stay.”  Said Nana once Tsuna had told her what happened.  “Poor thing, I wonder if a hawk or eagle had snatched it from its nest and accidently dropped it.  I must have closed the grill without seeing it.”  Logic would had said that it was very impossible, for the chick to have survived a fall from that height, having slipped past the grate only to land on some very hard rocks to boot, but logic was really more of a very very distant acquaintance to Nana than a way of thinking.

The chick came to live in a padded shoe box on Tsuna’s desk.  Some hasty research revealed that it would need an external source of heat until it was older, so an old (and not at all energy efficient) desk lamp was pulled out from storage and set up above the box.

You could cook an egg with the amount of heat it put out so they figured that it would be enough.

And it didn’t bother Tsuna one bit seeing as it was even brighter than his night light.

Tsuna creatively named the chick Bird.  Both for the lack of any known way of properly sexing it and because he couldn’t read well enough to find a suitable name in print that Bird liked.  Bird didn’t really care for any of the names that they heard when watching television or listening to the radio either. 

Tsuna wasn’t sure how he could tell, but somehow he understood that Bird simply preferred being called Bird and no matter what new cute name Nana tried to train Bird to respond to, she never got a response back.

Until a couple months later.

Bird had nearly tripled in size and grown a fuzzy coat of down.  It was a soft red with yellow and orange swirls forming lovely flame like patterns.

Bird had also begun to make small whistling noises.  Especially when it came to food or Tsuna’s attention.  It was a surprisingly melodic sound and pleasant enough that no one could really get too annoyed at the chick’s constant demands.

“It’s almost like Bird is trying to say Tsu.” Nana commented as she and Tsuna watched Bird heartily devour a half a grape and whistled.  Tsuna obligingly handed over the other half which chased the other piece down in seconds.

Bird bobbed its head and whistled again.

Tilting his head Tsuna asked.

“Are you trying to say Tsuna?”

“Hhhhuuuuu~!” 

“Ah!”  Nana clapped her hands together. She was still trying for something cuter than just Bird. “I’ve got it!  How about Tsubird?  Together it’ll be Tsu-kun and Tsubird.  You’ll match!” 

This got the most enthusiastic reply after a few moments of silence and it almost seemed like the newly named Tsubird had begun to do some sort of shuffling, bobbing dance on the tabletop in its joy.  Nana did one as well, twirling about the kitchen and flaring her skirt while Tsuna just beamed and offered the chick another grape.

They eventually even learned that Tsubird was a girl…kinda.

Months of research about Tsubird’s species passed without success and took with it the hope of finding any sort of special identifying feature so Tsuna decided to go ahead and ask one day. 

“Are you a boy or a girl Tsubird?”

Tsubird didn’t say anything, just cocked its head back as if to hear his guess better.

“A…girl?”

Tsubird chirruped her agreement with a nod and that was that.

Early on, Tsuna found out that birds needed some sort of grit to properly grind their food as they lacked the necessary parts to do so themselves.  Most of it came from crushed egg shells mixed into Tsubird’s scrambled eggs and the sand that she would inevitably swallow when she pecked at the bugs in the yard.

Tsubird seemed to have some sort of craving for charcoal though.  She kept trying to get back into the grill and failing that, she searched about until she found the bag with the rest of it and clawed it open, digging about until she found a piece that she liked.

Attempts at taking it back resulted in an angry hissing bird and even if it dirtied her down and anything else it touched, which was quite a bit as she had taken to playing with it.  Eventually, she pecked it down to small grains and swallowed those before starting the process again.

Nana simply assumed that Tsubird instinctively knew what she needed so a bag was always set aside just for her.

Tsubird drew attention, not so much from the neighbors, but from the other birds.  Whenever they went outside, birds of all shapes and sizes lined the fences, the trees, the roof tops and anywhere else they could find purchase while maintaining a respectful distance.  Finches and hawks and crows and pigeons and even a few escaped parakeets would all simply keep vigil over them.  It was sort of unnerving at first, but seeing as Tsubird didn’t have a problem with it, Tsuna eventually relaxed.  There wasn’t much noise for a crowd that size either, but neither Nana nor Tsuna realized it and figured that they were harmless. 

Until the day the Kijiwara’s pack of five small dogs decided to slip through the front gate to harass Tsuna.  His cries drew Tsubird’s attention away from her bug hunt and with a scream of outrage, she charged at the dogs that were on top of her human.  Screeching in fury, she attempted to beat at them with her small wings.  A sharp peck on the nose of one had it yelping in pain and another received a small scratch across its side from her short, but sharp talons. 

The previously passive flock rose and suddenly the air was filled with a cacophony of bird cries and they dive bombed the pack who turned and fled.  Crows continued to heckle them down the street by dropping stones from the sky while swallows and larks swooped down only to distract the canines into slowing long enough for the hawks to score even deeper marks.

For a long time, no one who witnessed the scene would connect it to the crying little boy and the little bird frantically trying to console him while making sure that he had no injuries.  No one except Nana who certainly wasn’t going to tell.  Not after she, among several others, had asked long since asked the Kijiwara’s to do something about their troublesome pets who had continuously snuck out of their property and into people’s yards and done everything from digging up gardens and defecating on front doorsteps to killing other pet cats and dogs and biting at young children.

The next day, Nana put her husband’s money to use, buying a tarp covering to be pinned to the ground in one corner of the yard and an oscillating sprinkler to be put on top.  Rocks were strategically arranged underneath to allow the tarp to form puddles and thus the Sawada’s had an instant functional, if not exactly aesthetically pleasing, birdbath.

It was offset by the other corner of the yard was where many, many birdfeeders where artfully arranged to provide a picturesquely cluttered scene. 

She’d get around to prettying up the bath area later, but for now, it was more than enough to show her gratitude to their feathered guardians.

No one was sure what Tsubird’s hatching day was so her birthday became April 3rd.  The day Tsuna had opened the grill to find a tiny bald ugly chick staring back at him.

That tiny bald ugly chick was no longer tiny or bald or ugly...kind of.  She was still a chick even though she was as big as a large chicken now.  At least half of her body was still covered in down, but some bright red and gold feathers had shown up. At least those were lovely and Tsuna’s and Nana’s compliments of just how lovely they were made her preen and pose as if to say ‘Just wait until I’m fully grown.  Then you’ll really see how beautiful I am.’

Tsubird’s cake consisted of several small, but sweet whole grain loaves arranged in a circle around a large one, all loaded with fruits and nuts and topped with shredded cheese and more fruits and nuts. 

The real treat though was the large red and gold ‘1’ candle sending out sparks in the center loaf and Tsubird stared at it in fascination.

“Happy birthday Tsubird!  Make a wish!”

“Tssuuu?”

“You’re supposed to make a wish and then blow out the candle.”  At her confused look, Tsuna fell back to his default explanation.  “It’s a human thing.”

She was still confused, but turning back to snap her beak at the burning wick, instantly snuffing it out.

“Good job Tsu-“

A marble-sized ball of fire shot out from Tsubird’s beak, relighting the candle which began sparking again.

“Tsuuuuu~.” She crowed in delight and snapped it out again only to blast more fire at the wick.

Tsuna and his mother could only sit and watch as she played with the candle for the next few hours.

“Well.  At least, I think I know what Tsubird is now,” stated Nana.

Tsuna learned many things about birds in general and the path to that knowledge was a hard, but determined struggle.  It did have the benefit of slowly raising his abysmal grades in school though much to his mother’s pleasure.  He may not care for bettering himself just for himself, and he never would, but he would certainly do so if it meant being able to care for what was precious to him.

The fact that there were so many characters to learn and so many different ways to read and pronounce them had the brunet spending several hours studying instead of goofing off and watching educational programs more often than cartoons even if he couldn’t understand everything they said.

Where he would have lagged behind in P.E., he was now somewhere in the middle of the group. Tsuna now spent a lot of time outside running with Tsubird instead of playing video games.  She was energetic and if Tsuna wanted her to sleep without waking him at the crack of dawn he’d have to properly wear her out first.  The effort to do so would often do the same to him as well.

In math, it had always taken him the longest to do simple addition and subtraction, but worry for overfeeding Tsubird had forced Tsuna to start learning how to measure out specific amounts of food for her meals in his head and fast lest an aggravated chick tried to lunge for it and make him spill everything to hurry it along.  Within weeks, Tsuna was even able to approximate how much weight he was holding by either sight or feeling within no more than two grams.  She was always hungry though, and Tsuna had to learn not to crumple like a soggy napkin to her pleading or sneaky ways.  It worked.  Occasionally.  Once in a blue moon.

“No Tsubird.  You can have more when the minute hand reaches the twelve.  It’s at six right now so that means you have thirty more minutes to go.” 

He got better at multiplication too.  In fact he was getting better at everything.  Needless to say, so was Tsubird.

She waited until her friend had gone back to doing his homework, too absorbed to notice her, before sneaking behind the clock and tugging out a black peg.  She had seen Nana changing the clocks for Daylight Savings Time once and had taken to playing with Tsuna’s alarm clock herself while the boy was in school.  Slowly turning the peg, she craned her long neck over the edge to check her progress and finally stopped the minute hand at the ten, pushed the peg back in to restart the clock.

When the alarm went off ten minutes later, Tsuna blinked in surprise.

“Already?”

“Tsssuuuu~!”

“Okay.  Okay.  C’mon.”

Offering Tsubird his shoulder, Tsuna headed to the kitchen, not even wincing as she tightened her hold.  He had long since begun to wear thick padding and fingerless gloves at home in response to Tsubird’s ever growing claws.  Grabbing an apple, he set about dicing it to bite sized pieces for her to eat.  They were still uneven, but most of it was a consistent size.  A far cry from his early attempts and another thing Tsuna had picked up much sooner than he would have without her intervention.

“I know you’re a growing bird but you eating more than me and Mama put together,” he sighed.  Then he saw the kitchen clock. 

“Tsubird!  How many times have I told you not to do that?!”

There was one piece of apple left.  A large piece which Tsubird left on the plate that she pushed back to Tsuna.

“Don’t think you can bribe me into forgiving you.”  He frowned.

Tsubird picked up the apple with her beak and wheedled him to take it by pressing it against his pursed lips while giving him her best ‘innocent’ look.

Sighing, Tsuna’s shoulders slumped and he opened his mouth.

“What am I going to do with you Tsubird?”

Her reply was to feed him, then snuggle up, her ruby red swan-like neck curling around his to rub their cheeks together as he chewed.

‘Love me.’  Said her gesture. ‘Love me like I love you.’

Tsuna sighs again.  It’s not like he really needed that clock much these days.  Tsubird has him trained to her schedule anyways and he can now tell time from the position of the sun.  Not to mention the fact that he still ends up waking with the sunrise courtesy of a hungry phoenix who now shares his pillow with him.

Tsubird eventually got the rest of her feathers and bright crimson made up the bulk of her body with gold emerging to create elegant arrangements.  The flame pattern of the down was gone, but in its place were colors that rippled in the light, making it seem as if fire had been trapped inside each feather.  The underside of her wings followed a pattern of rows of green, black, red, yellow, and white in contrast to the red and gold theme of the rest of her body. A crest of hand length feathers sprouted from the back of her head, an iridescent golden crown atop a ruby red head.

Tsubird also grew five long tail feathers like a peacock.  If every tail was a different color and had dual toned barbs.  Green, black, red, yellow, and white again with more white edging at least a finger’s length long, the feathers curled and waved almost as if they were sea anemones undulating underwater even when there was no wind. The large ‘eyes’ at the ends somehow never failed to feel like they were watching him, but Tsuna never felt nervous or scared.  Rather it was a safe feeling to be in sight of those eyes.

Tsubird was the size of a small swan now and far more elegant, but Tsuna feared that she wouldn’t know how to fly without having someone to show her how.  He needn’t have worried about that.  She had taken to hovering around the house and Tsuna was beyond guessing at how she did it without any support.  He simply chalked it up to the same thing that let her spit fireballs from her mouth and healing tears from her eyes.  Magic.  It shouldn’t be possible, but then again neither should a fire breathing bird.

The whole teleportation by fire thing was new to him though and Tsuna yelped as they burst into existence right above his bed.  He had tried to cut through some alleys to get away from some bullies when Tsubird had appeared in a blaze of fire, latched a foot to both of his shoulders and left the same way she had come before anyone could see.  It seemed that even though he was just an average student now, some things would never change.

“Thanks Tsubird.”

His worried phoenix clucked and fussed over him before looking out the window.

“No.”

“Tsuuuuu.”

“No way Tsubird.  Leave them alone.  Dogs and cats can’t talk, but people can.”

Her regal head tilted as if to say, ‘Let them.’

As far as anyone else was concerned, Tsubird was some sort of beautiful exotic bird that the Sawada’s owned, but some family in Japan had a famous pet penguin didn’t they?  This was just another pet in the end and there was no way something like a mythical bird would exist in this tiny town right?  The citizens of Namimori are very good at remaining oblivious.  It’s somewhat of a necessary skill to have when there is someone like Hibari Kyouya living nearby.

There were several expensive offers to purchase her and even a few attempts at outright birdnapping, but Tsubird proved to be a foul-tempered beast that brought bad luck to anyone who tried to take the feathered devil.  Most of it was through mysterious fires, hostile bird attacks, and a constant rain of bird poop anytime the perpetrator tried to leave his or her cover.

Once she has learned how to teleport, Tsubird begins traveling further and further.  To the point that she doesn’t return for a few days or even weeks on one memorable occasion.  Which is perfectly fine with Tsuna as his deadbeat dad has finally come home and he really doesn’t want the house to go up in flames or his dad to get mobbed by birds if she ends up hating the man.  Besides, it would make Mama upset.

She returns the last night before Iemitsu leaves, grabbing an empty basket from the kitchen and disappearing again. As he’s already in a deep alcohol induced sleep, he never notices the phoenix return, gliding by with a basket of litchi freshly picked from China.

Tsubird is the one to introduce them to Tsuna and they share the sweet fruits on the rooftop for a few hours before going to bed.  Now that she knows where this particular farm is, she’ll be able to return whenever she feels like it in a matter of seconds. 

Iemitsu leaves thinking that Nana and Tsuna have taken up extreme bird watching as a hobby, but never catches on to Tsubird herself.

Of the rare few who actually recognize Tsubird for what she is and not immediately writing her off as some sort of pet, unsurprisingly, Hibari Kyouya is one of them.  Tsuna shares lunch with Tsubird whenever he can, but he generally wants to do it somewhere quiet and alone which usually means the roof.  It’s far safer and less trouble all around if no one spots the phoenix trailing prismatic light all the way to Namimori Elementary.  Some have tried to give her food before, but Tsubird only really accepts any from Tsuna, his mother, and whatever tithe she deems to take from the local birdlife.

The best place to do this would be the unauthorized and supposedly empty rooftop.  Supposedly, because as Tsuna hurries reach the roof before Tsubird decides that Tsuna needs to have some more protein in the form of live sea urchin from Hokkaido with his lunch, he nearly stumbles over the sleeping self-proclaimed carnivore.

“Herbivore, the roof is off limits for unauthorized personnel.  Prepare to be bitten to death.”

A part of Tsuna wants to ask ‘then what are you doing here?’ and another wants to scream in fear, but Tsubird appears just in time to bail him out like usual.

This might be the first time anyone has ever witnessed a truly stunned expression on Hibari’s face, but Tsuna isn’t able to appreciate it because now he wants to scream in fear for an entire different reason.  Tsubird would rather attack Hibari than simply take Tsuna home and spend the next month heckling the boy who was going to hurt her beloved family.

Tsubird hisses from atop Tsuna’s shoulders, spreading her wings as wide as they can go, a nimbus spreading out from behind them.  She is beautiful and regal and so very very deadly.  Everything the famous ‘King’ of birds should be.  The blue five gallon plastic bucket still gripped in a claw and banging against Tsuna’s arm is filled with sea urchins, abalone, crabs and other things that once lived in a tide pool on a remote beach in Okinawa.  Tsuna is pretty good at predicting Tsubird’s hour by hour gastronomic desires by now.

The biggest surprise of all is the way Hibari looks at them for a moment and Tsuna can see the way something just seems to click in those striking steely eyes.

“Sawada Tsunayoshi.”

“Uhh-ye-yes?”

“Sawada Tsunayoshi.” Repeats Hibari.  “Tsunayoshi and Tsubird.”

Because Hibari is just as imaginative as Tsuna when it comes to naming animals and because the handful of times he has met the phoenix, he has mostly heard her whistling ‘Tsu’, he has coined her Tsubird as well.  A fact that has gained him some form of acknowledgement from the temperamental firebird even if he has never been able to touch her. Now things make more sense.

Salt water and sand from the bucket is dirtying Tsuna’s sleeve and the atmosphere is uncomfortable so he decides to break it the same way his mother would.

“Would you like to join us for lunch Hibari-san?”

Tsubird gives Tsuna an unhappy look which Tsuna chides her for.

“I know you got them for us and I appreciate it, but it’s more than we can eat even for dinner and they’ll go bad.  You can’t just put this in the bathtub you know.  The snails will get out and leave trail everywhere.  Again.”

One of Nana’s friends had won a week-long spa trip at a resort for four and Tsuna had encouraged his mother to have her girl’s week out.  Tsubird would be more than enough to keep them fed even if she hadn’t stockpiled a month’s worth of food in the house.

With a disgruntled chirp, because Tsubird knows Tsuna just as well as he knows her, Tsubird puts down the bucket only to return with the barbecue grill, a bag of charcoal, cooking tongs, and a cooler conveniently prepacked with several plates, utensils, drinks and seasoning all from home.  All the things they had originally planned to take to the beach later that night. 

The door opens again.

“Kyou-san, what-“

At Hibari’s acknowledgement of the suddenly struck dumb “Tetsu”, Tsuna decides why not?  He’s Hibari’s right hand anyways and knows better than to talk.

“Just in time Kusakabe-san.  Do you like seafood?”

Kusakabe Tetsuya is Hibari’s third cousin five times removed and now one of the few people who know and admit that Tsubird is a phoenix.

At Tsuna’s prompting, Tsubird brings a twenty pound bag of bird seed too which she claws open and scatters across the roof top before trashing the plastic in an open top bin just outside the front of the school.  The roof is flooded with the locals, but no one even so much as looks at a seed until Tsubird takes her first morsel of grilled cuttlefish from Tsuna’s fingers.  Then it’s a storm of chatter as they descend on her gift.

“Tsubird knows better than to litter,” explained Tsuna.  “Ever since the time I trip over an empty packet of cookies that she left behind and fell down the stairs.”  Tsuna had cried and so had Tsubird who would later vehemently attack anyone who littered near Tsuna’s entire neighborhood.  Coincidentally her first sighting of Hibari was a scene of bloodshed and carnage at some yakuza who tossed their fast food wrappers and beer cans on the ground.  It was what had endeared him to her in the first place and occasionally when Tsuna was too busy to play with her because of homework, she’d join Hibari on a Namimori clean up patrol. 

Tsuna ends up missing classes for the rest of the day as he is too busy having a picnic on the roof of his elementary school with what might be his first human friends, but a note from Hibari who has made an exception for the day is more than enough to keep any authority figure’s mouth shut.  At his homeroom teacher’s questioning look, Tsuna shuffles a bit and lowers his head.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

He gets a look of sympathy from the man who never even tries to ask what the most bloodthirsty person in Namimori wants from the brunet and comes to take future notes without a word.  Tsuna feels a bit guilty about it as Hibari’s not actually doing anything bad to him, but as long as he’s occupied with Tsuna and Tsubird the rest of the school can breathe a little easier and that’s more than enough reason to encourage this by looking the other way.

Hibari and Kusakabe even come over to visit at times and Tsuna’s mother is delighted, but not as much as Hibari when he sees the set-up of the Sawada’s backyard.  A pond has been installed by now and takes up half the small yard with stepping stones and a small red ornate bridge lined with lantern-shaped bird feeders on every post.  It’s constantly stocked with decently sized fish like trout and perch for passing water birds like herons and ducks and the tarp bird bath has become multiple shallow stone pools with a pump hidden in a fake rock that simulates a small waterfall.  It’s much more troublesome to clean, but Nana and Tsuna do it without complaint, taking turns every few days.  It’s still stays lot cleaner than any birdbath should be without human intervention. 

There’s even a sandy dry area for birds who prefer a dust bath although it’s understandably smaller than the wet one. 

What grassy areas remain occasionally has to be stocked with insects. A delivery of live crickets comes every Monday and is doled out over the week as treats.  Almost everything grown provides some sort of flower suitable for hummingbirds or edible berries in addition to the multitude of birdfeeders made for those of all shapes and sizes.  It’s a little haven for anything with feathers that Iemitsu has been paying for over the years without ever seeing the end result.  The back porch is stone and holds a patio set for the family to enjoy their meals outside.

Best of all, it’s private and few people can really see it without some sort of aerial support or expressed invitation.  The avian sanctuary is like a little version of the one in Hibari’s home and here Tsubird reigns supreme for she is a ‘King’ and the rest, her court.

Hibari and Kusakabe are not the only ones to accept Tsubird for what she is.

Another happens to be Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, owner of TakeSushi and home to the best sushi in not just Namimori, but the entire diameter of a whopping four hundred miles from the borders of the town.  The ingredients are fresh, but it’s Tsuyoshi’s incredible skill that makes the most out of it.

TakeSushi has an unspoken no pet policy, but Tsubird is no one’s pet despite what most people think and the senior Yamamoto is no fool.

“I’m sorry, but we’re out of Hamachi too.  Someone ordered nearly all of our stock for a party earlier and I’m probably going to just close up now because I don’t want to keep having to turn down my customers like this,” he says apologetically.  He’s being truthful and by now word has spread about the lack of fare choices so the shop is nearly empty.  Only Tsuna, Tsuyoshi and Tsubird are there, a laminated menu on the countertop in front of the boy. 

“I need to make a run to the market if I want to get more fish in time for the dinner crowd, but…I doubt I’ll be ready in time even for that.”  He’s still apologetic and a bit disappointed himself, but there’s nothing he can do. Takeshi is out having fun at a baseball game and will be back in a few hours.  The huge order was a last minute thing, entirely unexpected and rushed and Tsuyoshi has to leave for the market now if he hopes to have dinner ready for his own family by then.

“Oh.”  He’s genuinely sorry for disappointing Tsuna though, but that’s not good enough for Tsubird who wants TakeSushi sushi for dinner tonight and only TakeSushi’s sushi.  She snags the man by the front of his shirt with her beak without letting go of Tsuna and takes all three of them away in a burst of flames.  She does return to flip the ‘Open’ sign to ‘Closed’ though and even thoughtfully locks the front door and turns off the lights.

A few hours later, they return smelling like sweat and the ocean.  They are also loaded with nearly half a ton of fresh seafood and Tsuna tries not to think about the way the six foot long Bluefin Tuna flopping about on the back kitchen counter got there.  He is exhausted and smelly and hungry but Tsuyoshi is full of vigor and delight with his haul while Tsubird preens and whistles victorious “Tsuuuu~s”, occasionally pitching in with a chiming warble to Tsuyoshi’s joyful humming.

For once Tsuyoshi lets someone else handle his equipment other than his part time assistants.  Takeshi is not allowed to help fix anything for sale as he can’t prepare them to Tsuyoshi’s superior standards and is too busy putting his effort into baseball to improve on his sushi making (or lack of) skills, but Tsuna is an old hand in any kitchen by now, trained under the unspoken, unacknowledged, queen of culinary cooking of Namimori herself, Sawada Nana.

He doesn’t pick up Tsuyoshi’s techniques with a single look like the way Takeshi will with the Shigure Soen Ryu, but he has good eyes and quick but steady hands that improve at a phenomenal rate.  It’s to the scene of his quiet classmate zipping out sushi, not as fast or as precise as the elder Yamamoto but still far far better than himself, that Takeshi comes home to.

“Oyaji! I’m hom-Tsuna?”

“Welcome home Takeshi. You’re just in time for dinner.  Go wash up and put away your gear.  We’re going to have a feast tonight!”

The restaurant remains closed for the rest of the night, but Tsuyoshi spends that time trying to haggle with Tsuna about payment.  Even though he has to gut and clean everything himself, the cost of fresh prime ingredients is a few hours of his time and bits of the foundation that made up everything that he thought he knew about the world.  It’s all worth it, especially the Bluefin tuna alone which would have set him back several million yen just for a frozen one from the auctions.

Tsuna accepted free dinner for himself and Tsubird but refused any monetary payment though, stating the only reason they had to go through so much trouble was because the phoenix was ridiculously picky about food, having been spoiled by good cooking all her life and insisted on having Tsuyoshi-prepared sushi only for dinner tonight.

“When then I’m flattered that this lovely lady finds my sushi to be the best.”  And he really was.  It wasn’t everyday that you got an actual mythological creature complimenting your culinary skills, but he was going to show that he understood how privileged he was to have her favor.  So he set up a sort of reverse- tab for the entire Sawada family.  Whenever they came, their bill would be subtracted from it.  The figure Tsuyoshi gave though had Tsuna choking on air and his son shooting milk from his nose as he choked as well.  Tsuna ended up pounding the younger Yamamoto’s back to help him while arguing with the elder.

They settle on an even one million yen, an amount that the entire Sawada family probably wouldn’t use up in a year even with Tsubird’s ability to eat Tsuna’s weight in food daily and the high cost of just about everything in Japan.  It’s still less than ten percent of what the ingredients were worth though and the only reason he agrees to it is because Tsuna is both adamant and persuasive about the most random things. 

He also plays dirty by targeting what he knows is the most precious thing to the widowed father.  Very dirty, if the way he subtly hints about making use of the money saved on things like retirement, emergency, and high school and college funds is any indication.    Or baseball tickets and vacations because family is important and Tsuna thinks Tsuyoshi and Takeshi should spend time with each other, because all Tsuna had really wanted from his own absentee father was for the man to come home and spend time together with them.  You know.  Like a family.

There is a particular game that Takeshi wants to go see desperately, but the ticket prices are absurd and would be sold out within the hour, not to mention travel and hotel fees, things that they wouldn’t be able to afford at their current income so the boy has never said a word to his father.  But now, they’d be able to by the time the tickets go on sale because Tsuyoshi would have earned enough by then with the amount of profit he’d be able to achieve since he doesn’t have to buy more seafood for some time.

Sawada Tsunayoshi is a sly, sly child.  Tsuyoshi still gets the last laugh though when he tells him that he’s going to add fifty percent of the value of whatever Tsubird brings to him to the tab and Tsuna blanches but still manages to force Tsuyoshi down to ten percent instead, because he knows Tsubird will continue to do so as long as she considers Tsuyoshi’s sushi the best.  The Sawadas will most likely be eating for free from this place for as long as the man is still alive.

It’s sort of surreal as Takeshi can’t imagine just anyone managing to out haggle his father just to turn down free food much less the kid who used to be the weakest student both academically and physically in the entire school.  It’s also surreal to watch Tsuna’s beautiful but huge pet bird try to literally spoon feed sushi to the little guy.  It’s cute too.  Cute and hilarious. 

Tsubird eats a lot, but she is dainty and elegant about it.  She also refuses to take food from anyone’s hands except Tsuna although she does accept a cup of hot green tea from Tsuyoshi with a scaly foot and even manages to drink from it without spilling a drop much to the fascination of both Yamamotos.

“So why is did you name her Tsubird?” asked Takeshi.

“Oh.  Uh, actually I used to just call her Bird. Then she started saying-“

“Tsuuuu!”  It’s a huffy demand and Tsuna obediently opens his mouth for a spoonful of ootoro which he swallows before continuing.

“Yeah.  That.  She would say that all the time when she wanted something and Mama thought Tsubird sounded cuter than just Bird so it just stuck.”

He was about to say more when Tsubird realizes that they are out of pickled daikon and Tsuyoshi apologizes saying that they’ve just run out.

“We have some at home Tsubird. Remember?”

An agreeing chirp is the last thing Takeshi hears before his new friend goes up in flames right next to him.

“Tsuna!”

When the flames are gone, so are Tsuna and Tsubird.

Tsuyoshi takes this time to calm his panicking son and explain that Tsuna’s pet bird isn’t so much a pet as it is a family friend and guardian.

“Takeshi.  Did you know that the phoenix represented power sent from the heavens to the Empress? If a phoenix was used to decorate a house it symbolized that loyalty and honesty were in the people that lived there. Or alternatively, a phoenix only stays when the ruler is without darkness and corruption.”

Sawada Tsunayoshi is a sly, sly child, but he is also open and honest and loyal and kind with a heart of gold.  There is no way a phoenix would be with him otherwise. 

The vacated chair is wreathed in fire again and Tsuna’s and Tsubird’s forms separate from them.

“I got it!” Tsuna exclaims holding up a brown glazed jar.  “It’s homemade, but it’s also Mama’s special recipe and really good.  Try some!”

“Tssuuuuu!”

Takeshi spends a long time stewing over his father’s words after Tsuna and Tsubird go home.  Loyal and honest.  The little voice that Takeshi spends a lot of time shoving down to the darker depths of his mind chooses that moment to pipe up.  If what his old man has said was true, Tsuna is everything that Takeshi’s other so called friends aren’t.  Everything that Takeshi really wants a friend to be.  For once Takeshi does not try to push it away.  He supposes that he’s going to have to spend a lot more time with the boy to find out if his father was right or wrong.  It doesn’t sound like bad idea, rather it is the opposite and Takeshi drifts off to sleep with a smile. 

Tsuyoshi creates a new menu with several new platters and combinations with names like Triple Tsu-Special, Phoenix’s Choice, The Firebird, and more.

When Hibari comes in for dinner a week later, he raises a brow at the new dishes and gives Tsuyoshi a knowing look before ordering the Phoenix Tails Platter.  Five rows of green, black, red, yellow, and white sushi arranged in lines with white pickled radishes forming the outer barbs of the ‘feathers’ all artfully cumulating at the end into ‘eyes’ which are small dishes of different dipping sauces with more ingredients outlining it.  It’s delicious of course and he does mention it to Tsubird later making her fluff her feathers with pleasure. 

“Tsuuuuuu~.”  She croons as she wipes her bloody claws on the shirt of the man unfortunate enough to have tried littering in her presence.  She will order it herself the next time she goes to TakeSushi.  Picking up the offending candy bar wrapper and depositing it into the nearest trash can, Hibari offers to go with her to get it as it is almost time for lunch and by the time they get it, Tsuna should be on the rooftop waiting.  It sounds like a splendid idea to her and Hibari gets to touch Tsubird's feathers for the first time.  He discovers just how Tsuna gets to places as fast as he does too.

Nana doesn’t worry when Tsuna goes out no matter what time it is as long as he can wake up for school in time.  The reason for that is Tsubird and the legion of birds that follow them.  Tsuna didn’t even know that there were so many different types of owls in Namimori until the night some muggers tried to grab him and Nana on the way to a convenience store.  Most people have learned not to pick on or take advantage of Tsuna anymore but there are still the idiots who try. 

When they come across the Sasagawa siblings being held captive by bigger kids, Tsubird eyes the crowd disdainfully, but has no inclination to help on her own.  At least until Tsuna’s horrified “Kyoko-chan!” rings out and draws the attention of everyone else.

From then on all bets are off as one of the bigger boys threatens Tsuna and starts coming over.  By the end of it all, every bully is groveling and cowering at Tsuna’s dusty sneakers and he scolds first them for picking on younger and smaller kids, then Kyoko-chan’s brother for picking fights in the first place, and finally Tsubird for actively trying pluck out their eyeballs instead of restraining herself to pecks and scratches.

The area is still packed with birds and they are eerily silent as they watch down on the humans.

“But a man has to-“

“No buts, Sasagawa-san.”  Tsuna normally wouldn’t be so assertive or aggressive if he wasn’t so annoyed at everyone at the moment.  A nearby store was having a sale on ice cream at the moment and he had wanted to get some before they sold out.  Tsubird would guzzle down cartons like water if Tsuna didn’t watch her. 

“If you have that much energy, try channeling it into something more productive like a sport.  If you still want fight, try boxing or karate or sumo or-or I don’t know!”  He threw his hands up in exasperation.  “Just pick something else instead of fights with random people.  You may be extreme, but what you did to start this whole thing in the first is so far from that it’s-it’s,” he floundered for a suitable word before deciding to settle on something that would hit the white haired boy the hardest.

“Your selfishness put other people in danger.  Your own family, the one you should be protecting.  Sometimes things are unavoidable.  Things just happen, but this,” he gestures around to from the bullies quietly sitting in seiza to Ryohei’s own bloody wound stretching from his forehead to his eye and finally to Kyoko whose arms are forming bruises from the grips of the older boys and tear stained face is watching back without a word. “-could have all been avoided.  It was very unextreme.”

The last word came out as more of a loud whisper than anything else, but it hits with all the force of a wrecking ball.  The revelation drops Ryohei to his knees and keeps him there, a feat that not even the blows of many boys bigger and stronger than him had managed to do.

Tsuna’s nowhere near done yet and Tsubird’s lecture about overkill and bringing home unwanted and unwelcome body parts causes more mental trauma than being swarmed by angry birds did.  The firebird is genuinely chastened but throws dirty looks at them from behind Tsuna as if it was their fault that she thought blinding them for life was a perfectly acceptable punishment.

Finally feeling that Ryohei had stewed in despair for long enough, Tsuna gently begins to reel him back from his near catatonic state by putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder.  The warmth snaps him out of his daze and dark grey eyes meet his looking lost and miserable.

“Sasagawa-san.  Even though you started this, you still did your best to protect Kyoko-chan by taking that beating and not fighting back.  Anybody can fight, but it takes a real man to know when to back down.  A real extreme man.” 

The light comes back to his eyes and Tsuna can tell that something’s changed.  He gives a squeeze, mindful of any injuries and let go to give Ryohei a hand up with a smile.  The boy smiles back and takes it.  Within minutes Tsuna has just done what Kyoko and her parents have spent years unsuccessfully trying to achieve.

In the end, Tsuna has to pay for bandages and antiseptics and ointment and ice cream for everyone.  If there was anything good to say about his father, at least he provided for them and very well too so it’s doubtful that he’ll even notice the purchases being made.  He gains two new friends, a new big brother, a new big sister and the wary gratitude of a bunch of boys bigger and older than him who will eventually become part of Hibari’s Disciplinary Committee inspired by both Tsuna’s words about productively channeling their energy and Hibari’s strength.  They will display whatever scars gained from Tsubird that still remain with pride and talk about how Tsuna has managed to open their eyes.  Tsuna will naturally be as embarrassed as Tsubird is proud.

While Tsubird later heals Kyoko’s bruises and most of her brother’s injuries with her special tears at Tsuna’s behest, Ryohei stops her from healing the one on his face.  The one that Tsuna has said will most likely scar even with the anti-scarring cream Tsuna had applied.  He lets it heal naturally, stating that it will be a reminder of Tsuna’s valuable lessons that he will wear for the rest of his life.

Tsubird is considerable warmer to the siblings after that.  Especially when Kyoko gives them cookies that she baked herself.

Tsuna came home one day to find that his mother had gone out for a day with her friends and a black limo had taken residence outside his house.  Or it would have been black if it were for the white droppings caked on top of the car and the street around it. 

A large beefy man looking worse for the wear emerged and shook out a huge umbrella just in time for a fresh sheet of guano to pour down from above.  Tsuna recognized Tsubird’s signature slashes on his left cheek peeking out from under a large bandage.

“Wh-what are they?”  Asked a voice on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Tsuna watched several large white and black birds fly away.

“Red-crowned cranes.  About twenty of them I think.”

“Oh-oh God.”  The voice wavered and a pale shaking man in what had to have once been a pristine pinstripe suit came stumbling out and sank down to his knees uncaring how his pants were now covered in fresh white poo.

“I-I should have listened to the others.  I shouldn’t have tried to be so greedy and now-now…” *sob*

Tsuna winced and gingerly reached out to pat him on the shoulder.  The large beefy man made as if to stop him, but an angry hiss caused him to freeze in his tracks.

From the depths of the car, Tsubird emerged in all her brilliant rainbow glory.  With a banana in one claw.  She floated over to Tsuna’s shoulders and arranged herself as if she was a particularly luxurious cape, all the while ignoring how her birdnappers had practically thrown themselves out of the way slipping on the slimy sidewalk as they did so.  It was a pitiful sight and even if they had stolen Tsubird for whatever reason, Tsuna couldn’t help but feel bad.

The bigger man, dubbed Beefy in Tsuna’s head, crouched down, still holding the umbrella, and gave a handkerchief to now the crying man sitting in a pile of shit.

Sighing, Tsuna unlocked his front gate and beckoned to the men.

“Well come in.”

They froze.

“Seriously, it’s okay.  They’re not going to do anything else unless you somehow manage to be considered threatening again.”

All around the neighborhood was an eerie silence.  Sure there were the rumble of cars, the voices of people, the sounds of televisions and radios drifting through open windows, but all bird song had stopped.  It was made worse by the fact that they had all gathered around Tsuna’s house and were silently watching, as if they were all just waiting for the signal to renew their assault.

Tsubird gave the men a look as if daring them to refuse Tsuna.

They scrambled up and tried their best not to get too close and they stiffly approached.

“Don’t you need to lock your car?  If you’ve got anyone else, you might as well tell them to come in too.”

Beefy turned around to have a hasty conversation with the unseen driver who had cracked open the window.  Another nerve-racked man emerged.  He shut the door, locked it, and hurried in after the others, shoulders hunched as if he was expecting to be sieged by doves again. 

Tsuna led them to the backyard where he rinsed the worst ones down with the sprinklers and hose first before giving them towels and ushering everyone into the house to use the showers.  He washed their clothes, dressed their wounds, applied new bandages and pulled out the premade afterschool snacks (full course dinner really) his mother had left behind.  Finally seated at the table with cups of steaming hot tea, he took a sip first before steeling himself to begin the talk.  Again.  Granted, these people were the closest to breaking that he had ever seen without actually being pushed over the edge.

“So around what time did she decide to leave with you guys?”

“What?”  The boss jerked in surprise.  “I-I, we-“

“Stop.”  Tsuna held up a hand and the man instantly shut his mouth.  “I get it.  You for whatever reason decided to try to birdnap Tsubird here and found out the hard way that she can’t be taken unless she wants to go.  Which means she was either feeling especially bored and sadistic today or you offended her so badly that she wanted you to spiral into the depths of depression and insanity while staying sane enough to actually still be able to remember the horror of it for the rest of your lives.  It’s probably a combination of both.”

“It’s okay.”  He said once he saw their gaping faces.  “I usually have to have this talk at least twice a week, but most people have learned by now so it’s been slow lately.  You’re new to this area aren’t you?”

In the end, Tsuna comes away with the explanation that the Crane Federation, some shady gang outside of Namimori, had been hired by a previously rejected buyer.  The head of the Crane Federation explains how they’ve been experiencing nothing but incredible luck since they thought they had managed to bribe her to come with them.  Incredible bad luck.  Worse than losing several vital documents, warehouses, and compounds to mysterious arsonists were the attacks by their very mascots. 

Tsubird narrows her eyes at the end of the tale and leaves in a burst of fire, but not before she insists on feeding Tsuna the banana she took from the kitchens of the wherever the Crane Federation had taken her and pointing a single white-gold talon from her eyes to them in a gesture that clearly said ‘I’m keeping my eyes one you’.  She leaves the grown men gaping more from the fact that she had peeled the banana and lovingly hand-well-claw fed it to the little boy than the fact she had spontaneously combusted.

The backdoor has remained wide open and hundreds of birds have been taking shifts the entire time, leaving to only to poo in some other neighbors yard, because they know better than to do so inside Tsubird’s chosen nest.  The men have been properly cowed and if they should foolishly attempt anything while she is gone well…

“It’s the third strike.  I have a three strike policy in place with Tsubird.” Explained Tsuna.  “Yanagi Shuji-san is a collector of rare and valuable animals has been especially rude and persistent.  The first time, he tried to threaten Mama and me into selling her.  The second time, he hired people to break in and just take her by force.  You’re the third strike.  You’re what, smugglers? from China?, that have an obsessive love for cranes so he was probably hoping you’d be able to find some way to entice Tsubird into staying in a gilded cage for the rest of her life.  Any more questions?”

They talk for half an hour more and the boss explains how much of an honor it is to meet a real phoenix and her chosen household in accented but clear Japanese.  If they had known what she really was, they would have never tried to steal her, maybe pay a visit and marvel, but not outright bird napping.  Tsuna makes an offhand comment about how lucky the men are though.  It takes the story of the time the pack of little dogs that tried to attack him when he was little to make them appreciate it. 

“I heard later that the owners’ were very upset when their dogs never came home.  They never found the bodies either, but someone claimed that they saw an eagle carrying one away so there’s that.”

Tsuna coaxes them back outside to watch the same flock of cranes decimate the fish population of the small pond.  He even finally manages to get them to relax a bit and share snacks and tea with him on the patio.

It’s at this time that Hibari strides right into the backyard as if it was his own home with Tsubird trailing behind him.  Tsubird chirps something to the cranes who all take off and only the local birds are left.

The men clearly recognize Hibari and are faint with terror. Which does not bode well for Tsuna’s mind or heart.

“Hi-hibari-sama!”

Turns out that Hibari-san’s mother is a Triad princess and the Crane Federation is a small branch of the one his friend’s mother is from.  Tsuna could have lived without knowing that. 

“Tsunayoshi.  My mother is in town.  She wishes to meet you.”  He doesn’t say that she wants to also see Tsubird, but it’s a given as wherever Tsuna is, Tsubird will most likely be.  She knows that Kyouya has a young friend who is known for having a beautiful exotic bird that looks like a phoenix, but not that it’s an actual phoenix.  He can’t wait to see her face.

The horror that is reflected on the men’s’ faces is reflected in Tsuna’s heart, but this is not the first and certainly not the last time he will be meeting with people from the underworld.  So steeling himself with a sigh, Tsuna sets about preparing a generous gift basket of homemade treats with Kyouya’s input of what his mother likes.  Maybe she’ll be more amiable about not having these men executed if her belly is full of good food.

Tsuna has been to the Hibari compound before and his favorite part has always been the Japanese style garden with a huge gazebo overlooking a pond which is really more like a small lake.

Turns out his friend’s father is there too, having tea with his wife, and the entire group of three men, to boys, and one fiery phoenix bursts out of the fire and into existence right in front of them, nearly causing them all to be skewered by Kyouya’s paranoid parents.

“Tssssuuuuuu~!” crows Tsubird as she practically glows under the shade of the roof.  The sounds of shattering porcelain go unnoticed as Tsubird’s former birdnappers attempt to reorient themselves while Kyouya’s parents are too busy gaping to pay attention to the fact that hot tea is spilling over the edge of the table or that one of the small cups is now lying in pieces on the floor.

“Father.  Mother.  This is Sawada Tsunayoshi and Tsubird.”

Tsuna puts on a smile.  A sweet contrite smile that is full of both empathy and sympathy.  A smile that has won over hundreds of other unsuspecting people just like the three triad members behind him.

He bows, offers his apologies for startling them and makes Tsubird do the same.  Then he sets the basket down and sets out his offerings for everyone before proceeding to bargain for the men’s (and Yanagi-san’s) lives. 

By the time they realize what has happened, Hibari’s father, Hiroto, has promised to not start a man hunt for Yanagi Shuji and Hibari’s mother, Xui-Yan, has agreed to not to have the branch members assassinated or punished in anyway.  Mostly because Tsubird wants to do them both herself.

Kyouya sits back and watches it all happen with the slightest of smirks, highly entertained and maybe just a little in awe.  In a few short years, Sawada Tsunayoshi has become an omnivore.  His lack of ambition and meek nature keeps him from becoming a carnivore, but once roused, the soft squishy thing that is Tsuna’s will become as hard as diamond and he will let nothing stand in his way.

Case in point as only fifteen minutes have passed and his own carnivorous business shark parents have already approved of whatever Tsunayoshi requested of them without any demands of their own, not even the excuse of being blindsided by an actual phoenix will get them out of this.  They will not go on their word because it would infringe on their own pride and honor as well. 

Loyalty and honesty.  They are not always associated with kindness or humility, but both are signs of inner strength of which he knows that the unassuming brunet has in spades even as he hides it.  Or tries to.  Anyone who knows what a phoenix symbolizes will be able to tell instantly and it is this that prevent his parents from going all out in trying to wrangle some form of control back over the conversation.  Not it’d do them any good by this point.

Finally Tsuna is winding down and convinces the Hibaris to instead lay claim on Yanagi’s considerable assets and bankrupt him. As is their right because it was their group that was used and so earned the offense of a phoenix he explains and the ire of their own sacred birds. Tsunayoshi does not approve of killing or torturing anyone no matter how much they have wronged him, but he will not stand for letting his family and friends be threatened, much less hurt.  That has never changed over the years and never will.

“Tsubird has no real use for riches and neither do I.  All we want is to protect what’s precious to us.”

In the end, Kyouya decides to give his parents some help and points out that it is the Crane Federation’s flock that has eaten nearly all of the Sawadas pond fish.  The victories Kyouya’s parents do achieve are smaller, but no less meaningful.  Tsuna can’t persuade them not to pay for more fish and Tsubird is absolutely no help.  He’s forced to give them a list of the usual types and the Hibaris will now pay for all the fish the Sawadas order for their pond using funds that will soon be appropriated from the persistent collector.  They will arrive in two hours so Tsuna will have to go home soon.

The cranes that have vacated Tsuna’s yard arrive and after several long moments of watching Tsubird interact with them, Tsuna rules that the men have been forgiven and the cranes will return to wherever they came from.  There is a lot of noise and tears of joy at the announcement.

Finally Tsubird returns, draping herself back over her boy and tries to feed him a cookie.  She even grabs a napkin to hold it.

“Tssssuuuuu.”

“Thanks Tsubird, but I can feed myself.”

She’s insistent though, pressing the cookie against his lips, and all of Tsuna’s fight had been used up when he steamrolled Kyouya’s parents into not ordering hits on anyone.

It’s sort of embarrassing being fed like a baby, especially in front of his friends, their parents and just about everyone else but Tsuna has long since come to realize that it’s her way of showing her love.  He still feeds her by hand too so he supposes that it’s his fault anyways.  Unfortunately, Kyouya’s parents both have this secret tendency to take pictures of adorable things and Tsuna and Tsubird are no exception.  It’s made even worse by the fact that Tsubird knows it and deliberately poses them in ways to maximize their cute-factor.

To the side, Kyouya is clearly trying his contain his laughter and failing.  Tsuna helps by bargaining with his parents.  His friend’s baby pictures in exchange for a chance to experience flame travel when Tsuna has to return home.  Kyouya’s smirk is instantly wiped off his face when his parents instantly agree and Tsuna knows that he will get revenge for this but it was so worth it. 

A few weeks later, when Tsuna is occupied with homework and thinks that Tsubird has gone fruit picking again, she bursts into the air high above the Hibari compound.  There is a terrified scream as her companion plummets into the pond with a mighty splash.  The ducks and swans and the same cranes from earlier are waiting, still awake and more than willing to chasing the man out of their waters.  He crawls onto land and tries to dash to the house and beg for help when a small figure appears in the light of the garden lanterns.

“Oh thank God.  Ple-please.  I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me.  I’ve been attacked by these crazy feathered bastards ever since this afternoon and then this red one just s-“

The flutter of wings from all around make him freeze and stifle a sob of terror.  If he wasn’t already so wet, the expressionless boy in front of him would certainly notice the loss of control of his bladder.  From all around them, hundreds upon hundreds of birds are silently eyeing him, beady eyes gleaming in the lamp lights.

There is a wave of immense heat from behind and Yanagi turns with trepidation to look behind him.  Tsubird is glowing in the dark night just barely within the circle of lanterns, feathers shining brightly with their own lights.  She is even more splendid to behold than the first time he saw her and for a moment he forgets his fear.

“Yanagi Shuji.  You are charged with the assault and attempted kidnapping of a Namimori citizen as well as the breaking and entering of a Namimori residence.”

“Wha-wha-what are you talking about?  I-I didn’t do anything like that!”

The boy gestures behind him.  “Sawada Tsubird is a resident of the Sawada household and has been since she was a chick. Thus she is a citizen of Namimori and under the protection of the Hibaris.”

“What are you saying?!  She’s a pet not a human! A goddamned beautiful one of a kind bird stuck in a little house with a useless mediocre family where she can’t be properly appreciated and a fucking stupid piece of shit who’s too full of himself jus-.”

A jarring screech cuts through the air.  Tsubird glows brighter than ever and the open flames of the stone lanterns flare and splutter out of their confinement with her mounting fury.  The boy has stepped back and he is now joined by a man and a woman that Yanagi realizes are the Hibaris.  By the woman’s side are the members of the triad that he had hired for both the task. 

Yanagi takes a glance back just in time for a fireball to slam into his face.  The fire from the lanterns lunge out to engulf him and steam rises into the air along with his screams.  He rolls back and forth across the stone path until it was put out. By then he’s sobbing in pain, his skin blistered and blackened and his hair burned off.  Fluid is running down his body from where the blisters have popped and sticking to the remains of his clothing, but everything hurts so much that he doesn’t really notice.  Though his eyes have been blinded and all he can feel is overwhelming heat, the voice of the child sends chills down his spine.

“For your crimes,” continues the young boy who must be their son, “prepare to be bitten to death.” 

Yanagi can’t see the tonfas but he can certainly feel them.  He will be left alive, a victim of an unfortunate car accident according to the official reports, permanently blind and deeply in debt from the hospital bills which he will have accrued during his stay.

Everyone has promised Tsuna not to kill Yanagi for trying to steal Tsubird, but no one ever said a thing about Kyouya and Tsubird retaliating for insults against him.  Tsuna will be upset if he ever finds out, but it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission with him.  They are all secure in the knowledge that they won’t lose any love from their friend even if he does.

Ryohei takes up boxing, mostly because he can’t remember the rest of the sports Tsuna has listed out.  Only the first one stuck, but he enjoys it anyways and vows to convince Tsuna to join as manager at the very least.  Kyoko brings all sorts of baked goodies and Tsuna is able to compare ideas and tips about making them with her.  The Sawada family now has a free lifetime premium membership to the Sasagawa Gym thanks their grateful parents who had despaired of their son’s wild ways.

Kurosawa Hana comes to grudgingly accept Kyoko’s friendship with the boy and his infamous bird and even admits that as impossible as it may be, Tsubird is most definitely a real phoenix and anyone who can’t tell is a monkey.  Tsubird personally brings her a big juicy melon for that. 

Takeshi takes to the three new people joining them for lunch quite well when he’s not eating with his baseball buddies.  Kusakabe too.  Hibari…not so much, but he settles for watching how Tsubird take offense to Ryohei’s declaration of how she is a very extreme chicken and proceeds peck at him with a vengeance.  The loud boy enthusiastically treats it as training and manages to dodge. Mostly.

He supposes they’re tolerable enough.  Sasagawa Kyoko makes excellent desserts and coupled with Yamamoto Takeshi’s contribution of his father’s sushi, which is apparently free until the Sawadas manage to use up their ever increasing reverse-tab, and Tsunayoshi’s all-around cooking skills, they’re pretty much running a catering service for the DC on the roof of Namimori Middle who thankfully aren’t eating up there with them. 

There’s barely enough room for the rest of them as it with the way hundreds of birds are still visiting.  Tsuna managed to talk Tsubird into spreading the bird seeds in the school yard instead of the rooftop and most of the birds stay down there to eat.

It’s not as quiet as it used to be with just the four of them, but Hibari supposes this is as peaceful as it’s going to get. 

How right he is.  Hibari will later sometimes wish that the baby had never come, because peace will become a rare and precious thing to be savored.  Then he will be forced to dodge a flaming punch from Tsunayoshi during one of their weekly spars and decide that it was worth it, noise and chaos and all.

Chapter Text

"Japanese"

"English"

After the third time that the Hibaris ends up filling their coffers with the assets of others because of repeated birdnapping attempts, they really start to focus on Tsuna.  The first time he convinces them to not kill anybody was a combination of shock and charm.  The second time goes a little harder for Tsuna, but he prevails again even if he has to take the loss of having the weekly shipments of feeder insects paid for by the latest greedy crook. 

By the third time, he’s just finished convincing them to take everything except what’s needed for the weekly order of bird seed, even though this greedy fool is actually a business partner of the Hibaris, when they decide that Tsuna is far too persuasive and if he isn’t watched carefully he’ll end up taking them over like a leader from the shadows unless they set up a good deal for him now while he’s still young and malleable.

Tsuna knows it’s just an excuse.   Kyouya knows it’s just an excuse.  Kusakabe knows it’s just an excuse.  Hibari Hiroto and Xui-Yan know it’s just an excuse.  And Tsubird doesn’t care as long as these irritants are no longer able to bother her family.  If Tsuna gets presents out of it, then all the better.  So Tsuna ends up with a lot of things that he has no desire or need for and the Hibaris now have a business tycoon trainee that will grow up to be an even greater force to reckon with and forever loyal to their own beloved son.  That he and his phoenix are incredibly photogenic is just a bonus.

Tsuna still has a ridiculous budget even with the Hibaris keeping ninety-five percent of what they take.  They find it an agreement worth keeping even if Tsuna had to fight them down to ninety-eight percent from the original seventy.  They give him extra three percent back because Kyouya’s parents think Tsuna, even without Tsubird, is one of the most entertaining things ever, especially when flustered or in despair, and like to bully him in the same lighted-hearted way.   Tsuna is quite possibly the only person they’ve ever met who is averse to gaining more wealth.

What he earns isn’t exactly something that makes him comfortable though, but it comes in handy at times occasionally.  Tsuna unofficially owns a few condos, complexes, houses and actual businesses in and out of Namimori all under the Hibari name at first.  He’s also become somewhat business savvy as the sense of responsibility for all these people depending on these places won’t let him just sell off everything if the resulting shuffle that comes with new management makes them lose their homes and jobs.  So Tsuna resigns himself to dealing with a lot of things that he hadn’t expected to have to until he got his own job in another few years. 

Nana believes that it’s all so wonderful how Tsuna’s getting an early start in possible careers and sends him off to do these things with a proud smile.  The Hibaris are such a lovely couple with a lovely son and it’s so nice of them to take Tsu-kun under their wing even if it’s only because Kyouya-kun has trouble making friends and they’re ever so grateful to Tsunayoshi and Tsubird for befriending him especially since he’s so anti-social. 

Hibari’s parents on the other hand, find Nana to be one of the most bemusingly amusing creatures in existence.  How could anyone so oblivious and carefree exist in this day and age?  If this is what Tsunayoshi had to live with since birth, then it was no surprise that he needed to compensate for her airheaded ways with his astute sensibilities. However, she is a gracious host and an excellent cook, so it’s worth dropping by every now and then if only for the free food.  And of course, embarrassing baby stories (complete with pictures) and phone numbers have to be exchanged as well. 

Kyouya and his parents learn that Tsuna went through a cross-dressing phase when he was four for nine months straight until little boys at the local park began subjecting him to a lot of hair-pulling and skirt flipping for some weird reason that he’s never been able to figure out.  It’s a testament to every Hibaris’ will when they are able to look Tsuna directly in the eyes without giving anything away when the innocent boy states that he still doesn’t understand why they did that when they had all used to play together peacefully. 

Tsuna and his mother learn that Kyouya only spoke to creatures that weren’t human as a toddler and much effort had been put into teaching him to speak in Japanese and then various dialects of Chinese and other languages by first training several birds to do it.  He then picked up the human tongue by repeating whatever he heard from said birds, but for the first few years of his life, Kyouya mostly warbled or sang or cawed or quacked or hooted or whatever other noises he heard a bird make.  If Tsuna listens carefully, he can sometimes still hear the other make small whistling noises not unlike that of a skylark whenever he’s feeling particularly impressed or pleased or displeased or anything really.  He’s pretty sure that Kyouya can and does swear in bird under his breath at anyone he considers an herbivore.

The results of these parent meetings are two disgruntled boys who only talk about it once in a while which means making eye contact while looking over ownerships deeds, contracts, and company budget summaries together and shaking their heads as they get back to work.  Parents.  How embarrassing. 

Tsubird finds this alternatively entertaining and boring.  She understands that new ‘bad’ people means more money and eagerly awaits more ‘third-strikes’ as that means she can get new things that won’t earn her a scolding.  Tsuna pays other people to do most of the work but business still cuts into their time together.

However, they have a near unlimited supply of bird food now because it is paid for with what they earn.  This is good because Tsuna has said that Tsubird should show her appreciation for the help the other birds give even if they do it without expecting any payment.  It’s only right he says so Tsubird agrees.  Best of all, Tsuna is a little bit more likely to splurge on cake and ice cream now that they have more of what humans call ‘pocket change’. 

Irie Shouichi is a boy who used to be bullied occasionally for being both physically frail and a geek.  Not anymore.  Once you are Tsuna’s friend, you are under her (and every other avian’s) protection because Tsuna gets upset when his friends are upset and upsetting Tsuna ranks just below intentionally trying to hurt Tsuna and Littering in Tsubird’s list of crimes. 

Years ago, Tsubird had taken a toy robot of his because she knew how much her favorite person loved anything to do with them.  It had taken a week of stalking from a tearful and fearful Shouichi for Tsuna to find out exactly where Tsubird got his present from and to this day Tsubird still remembers how upset Tsuna had been.  She had even had to give up her ice cream money to Shouichi as an apology although Tsuna ended up sharing his with her in the end because he couldn’t take how miserable she looked. 

To prove that he had no hard feelings, the redhead had made small electronic educational training tools for them both and eventually had the idea to create a computer complete with custom software and hardware for Tsubird to be able to access on her own.

Nana is ever so delighted that Tsuna had made a study buddy who is a literal genius and is more than happy to have someone new to cook for. 

Tsuna and Tsubird and even Nana end up brushing up on their (lack of) English.  It turns out to be more than helpful for Tsuna’s new job as a tycoon trainee and when his money begins to pile up at a worrying rate, Shouichi’s wistful sigh and offhand comment for some equipment and material that is beyond his allowance one day has Tsuna dragging him to different places until he finds a suitably acceptable workshop. 

Then they go shopping and Tsuna has no idea how gold and silicon is used in circuit boards or what the best material to use for making a blast proof vault-slash-laboratory is, but if Shouichi wants titanium and polycarbonate then he’s getting titanium and polycarbonate.  If Shouichi wants to build his own 3D printers, then he’s going to build his own 3D printers and Tsuna is going to fund it all.

Tsubird’s getting too big to use the computer at home already and even if she’s careful, things like small scratches and gouges on the keyboard, mouse and tabletop is unavoidable even with a mouse pad or some other sort of protective cover.  If Shouichi can find a way to negate these issues then Tsuna will be more than happy to throw as much money as the redhead wants into whatever project he’s working on. 

Replacing a mouse and keyboard is one thing, but constantly ordering new custom-made tables that look exactly the same so that Nana doesn’t realize that the first piece of furniture she and Iemitsu had picked out together after getting married now looks like the favorite scratching post of a giant cat is a whole other issue that neither Tsubird nor Tsuna wants to touch with a forty foot pole.

Kurokawa Hana is someone who was both mistrustful of Tsuna and wary of Tsubird.  But her loyalty to Kyoko, who was also Tsuna’s friend and ‘older sister by a little over seven months’ (and baker of really tasty treats), is as strong as Tsubird’s is to Tsuna and Hibari’s to Namimori.  So she tolerated the other girl’s blunt manners and criticisms of Tsuna as there was no real malice behind it.  She would find minor ways to get back at her when Tsuna wasn’t looking and the other girl would give as good as she got without ever letting anyone know. 

It was sort of a secret rivalry between them until one day Tsuna slips on the stairs while Tsubird is away and it’s a passing Hana who saves him at the cost of a twisted ankle and several scrapes and bruises to herself.

It’s the first time that Tsubird heals someone without Tsuna asking her to and it’s the first time Hana admits that maybe Tsubird is really more than a normal bird.  They are both considerably warmer to each other after that and Hana even talks to Tsuna or Tsubird when Kyoko is not around.

She’s nowhere near as good of a cook as Tsuna or Kyoko, but that’s okay.  She teaches Tsubird important things like the subtle (or not so subtle) nuances of human behavior and what words like ‘gold digger’ and ‘hooker’ and ‘bum’ mean and the difference between a ‘sugar daddy’ and a ‘philanthropist’.  While Tsubird can understand humans who eye her with greed, she is unsure of how to differentiate between certain things such as lust for flesh and lust for opportunity and lust for wealth.  Humans have complicated emotions and innumerable desires and she can only tell the basest of feelings.  If they are loyal or not, honest or not, happy, angry, and sad or not, but rarely the why.

The social mores and cues that Hana teaches her are a bit different than what Tsuna teaches her, but in a way, they’re just as important.  Things like ‘pedophiles’ and the stigmas of age gap relationships and incest, things that didn’t have a negative connotation centuries upon centuries ago.  She even confesses that she fears that Kyoko will never truly be able to watch out for herself with her kind, but naïve nature and that Tsuna, oblivious as he tries to be, is probably going to be worse off, because he always seems to know the worst about someone and will still welcome them with open arms. They share fruit during these ‘girl talks’, often things that are out of season in Japan, but tree ripe in other places. 

It’s been a long time since Tsubird has ever interacted with so many humans and on a near constant basis to boot.  She finds it to be different and strange and confusing and difficult, but she finds herself enjoying it far more than she could have ever dreamed of.  And all the more determined to protect this new life until it’s time for Tsuna to pass on.

Haru was a surprise.  Literally.  She had originally thought that Tsubird was an amazing cloak with the way she was draped around Tsuna’s shoulders, her wings hugging Tsuna from the front while her elegant tail feathers floating behind and had greeted them via ambushing Tsuna on his way to school one winter morning by hopping out of a tree.

Tsuna had screamed like a little girl causing Tsubird to wake up and screech in alarm causing Haru to scream back in surprise until they were all standing there screaming in the middle of the side walk, making everyone else to give them a wide berth as they hurried past.

She ended up tagging along frequently trying to convince Tsubird to take food from her, pestering Tsuna for any possible feathers that Tsubird may molt for her costumes, and ultimately becomes a math tutor to Tsuna.  So far, her number crunching abilities were only beat by Shouichi, but her focus was more on business models than technology and she had the incredible capacity to think in 3D which was incredibly useful for creating her costumes among other things.

Tsuna ends up hiring her. Officially as a tutor, unofficially as an accountant and manager for an upscale clothing store that Tsuna got off some unsuccessful woman who had been trying to repeatedly buy and later steal Tsubird for her feathers.

Tsubird regards Haru with disdain at first, then settles for ignoring her once she becomes friends with Kyoko and Hana, and finally pays attention when she offers to make costumes for Tsubird and Tsuna.

Neither of them had taken an interest in fashion beyond what was comfortable, weather appropriate, and claw proof but when Haru introduces the concept of matching clothes and costumes for them both, it’s more than enough to get the firebird’s support.  Anything that showed how Tsuna was linked to her was a good thing.

Tsuna, naturally, got no say in this and whatever protests he had died a quiet miserable death when Tsubird did her favorite ‘but I only do this because I love you’ expression.

Dress-up days can be embarrassing and he will never be able to deny that it ever happened because his mother is the one taking pictures with the camera system that Shouichi designed and built to capture every second from every angle. 

Kyouya, despite the noise and crowding, never ever fails to show up to receive his copies.  Tsuna’s pretty sure that the other boy is actually saving those pictures to use as a bargaining chip for his parents in the future.  Or taking them out in private to have a good laugh.  They were both plausible.

Tsubird is especially proud of all their matching hats, scarves, vests and bowties now.  And cravats.  Can’t forget the cravats.  Tsuna isn’t as more than half of them are just plain weird or tacky due to Haru’s unconventional tastes, but he does like the new adjustable leather harnesses with folding titanium footholds that Haru and Shouichi put together for him.  They’re what allow Tsubird to cling to his back more comfortably without tearing holes in his clothes or book bags.  They’re also quite possibly the best thing that Tsuna has ever spent money on as Tsubird tended to get unreasonably jealous of puffy down jackets and tried to substitute them for herself during the cold weather.

Tsubird comes across a beach on an island that is littered with debris from a shipwreck.  There is a human there as well.  A male as far as she can tell.  He is the only one there, but it will be time for Tsuna to have lunch soon.  This island has fresh fruit that wouldn’t be as sweet from Namimori’s stores and until now, no humans. 

A part of her understands that Namimori is special somehow.  The humans there are fairly oblivious and choose to ignore the obvious, making up excuses for Tsubird’s true nature.  That is fine with her as long as it doesn’t interfere with her time with her favorites.  She is careful not to let others see her though as one of the many things she has learned is that most humans do not worship what they could not understand like the old days.  Instead, they choose to capture and study until they do, even if it means destroying the object in question.  They will not be able to contain her, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t try. 

The human who is still on laying half in the sand and half in the water is still alive, but deeply asleep.  There is dried blood crusting against a wound on his nearly bald scalp and Tsubird debates whether or not she should bother to heal him.  If she doesn’t, he may or may not survive.  What will happen doesn’t matter to her and Tsuna would never know, but still…

The image of Tsuna’s disappointed face crosses through her mind.

She drags the human further out of the beach until he is safe from the receding tide and drops a few tears onto his head wound. Just enough to have the scabs peel off to reveal pink skin underneath.  It will still scar, but not as badly as it would have without her interference.  Then she idly drops a few of the less choice fruits from her basket by his head and leaves.

The man is there a week later and has managed to construct a crude shelter at the border between the beach and the forest.  He watches her with awe struck eyes which she ignores. 

Hana and Nana have both expressed a desire for more sugar-apples and this place is as good as any to get them.

The man is still alive though, so that means he has found the stream of fresh water nearby, but he is still thin.  He seems to have managed to salvage some things from the wreck and Tsubird notes the knives and small lighter and campfire although there is no sign of bones that indicate that he has caught anything.  Maybe he ate them.  Good enough.  He has water and shelter and ways to hunt.  Tsuna comes to the forefront of her mind again and Tsubird idly deposits more fruit for him before heading off again. 

She brings him some fish too and shows him what he can and cannot eat from a tide pool.  Then she returns to Japan after gather the sugar-apples, feeling quite satisfied with herself.  She helped that man because it was the ‘right thing to do’.  Tsuna would be so proud of her! 

Another several months come and go and Tsubird continues to provide for the man whenever she visits. The best items are always saved for Tsuna and his flock of course but she figures she can spare some things for the man.  Then she returns one day with Tsuna who is going to help her gather seafood and remembers the man who is staring at Tsuna who is staring back in shock. 

In the end, Tsubird still does get praised for helping the man, but it probably would have been better for her to dump him in a place where other humans could find him.  Oops. 

Tsuna insists that they take the man with them.

Unfortunately, that means the man must come home with them because he has nowhere else to go and has seen Tsubird and must be made to understand that he shouldn’t go off telling the world about how phoenixes are real.  It also means that they’ve picked up what Hana calls a ‘hobo’.  At least he’s not a ‘bum’ which is what Tsuna calls his dad.

The hobo is the darkest man that Tsuna has ever seen in real life.  Namimori isn’t exactly a big or famous town, nor is it a popular tourist spot so the only time Tsuna usually sees people with this skin tone is on magazines or television.

Some of it probably comes from living on a tropical island for so long, but his skin doesn’t lighten all that much as time passes.  When the man is able to shave off his beard and sideburns, a light pink scar is revealed, stretching from an inch off his right eye, down his cheek and ending in a curl at the corner of his right lip like a hook.  It pulls whenever the man talks, but he doesn’t show much if any discomfort at all showing that he has probably had it for some time, several years even. 

Nana instantly sets up the guest room when she hears about how Tsuna and Tsubird found him and Tsuna ends up guiding the man into the bathroom and helps him shower and soak in the tub.  He continued to move at Tsuna’s gentle insistence, drying himself with the towel he’s given and just holding it in his hands when he’s done until Tsuna prompts him to put it in the laundry basket.  He dressed himself in the tank top, boxers, and shorts that Nana had bought for Iemitsu, but as the man had never worn them given that he was never home, it was now his.  An oversized sweatshirt completed the ensemble.

The man still moves like he’s dreaming and it’s not until he sees the toilet that he begins to cry, big salty tears rolling down his face and into his scraggly beard as he just stands in front of the porcelain throne and clutches some toilet paper in his hand.  Tsuna’s pretty sure he’d be crying too if he’d had to go without a real shower and toilet paper for however long this poor man has.

The mother and son attempted to talk to the man and despite how his thick accent is and hard to understand, it’s definitely English.  Which is a relief because as broken as their own is, at least it’s a language that they can somewhat understand.  Just to be on the safe side though, Tsuna calls Shouichi in as a translator and sends Tsubird off to get him while Nana starts cooking dinner.

The black man’s name is Deshaun Sanders and Shouichi’s nerves kick in upon seeing the haggard but still intimidating figure, but he manages to clarify that the man is American, not British like his online friend Spanner.

At the start of dinner and before bed, Sanders bows his head and closes his eyes in prayer as he thanks them, God, and whoever else he can.  When he cries over the sirloin steak and other western dishes Nana has chosen to make that night, Nana kindly hands him another napkin and Tsuna gives him an encouraging smile even as he feeds Tsubird who has no real concern for the man’s emotional wellbeing, but is still basking in Tsuna’s praise for ‘having done a pretty good job all things considered’.

For the next few weeks, Nana, Tsuna, and Tsubird do their best to nurse him back to full health and teach him Japanese customs seeing as he’s clearly going to be in Namimori for some time. Shouichi is instrumental in this endeavor to keep the man from making too many faux pas due to culture difference and ends up writing more education programs with the mysterious Spanner for him. 

He even throws together a laptop made from some junk spare parts (that still ends up running ten times better than anything DeShaun has ever owned) and sets up the internet for him which is the most useful if not entirely accurate tool.  At least until Shouichi’s and Spanner’s new translation program is installed to replace Google Translate for him. They mod a cell phone as well and install it with a mobile version of the same program along with voice recognition software to communicate to anyone that could read in Japanese.

Of course, Tsuna had to introduce Deshaun to all his friends.  Mostly to make sure the man has some form of protection when he goes out.  There are certain people that Namimori citizens know not to bother and seeing them dragging a tall black foreigner around while pointing out the sights of their beloved town tells them that he’s off limits too no matter how suspicious he looks.  Especially with the way a few hundred birds are following them around as well.

The first and most important person that Tsuna introduces his new houseguest to is Hibari.  Tsuna’s not sure whether it’s a comfort or not that Sanders-san, or Deshaun as he wants to be called, is also disturbed by Kyouya, but at least it shows that he has good survival instincts.  He’s also generously given a list of rules not to break that is the size of a small dictionary under the threat of being bitten to death.

In clear English.

A dark brow is raised as the man stares down.  As if he can’t believe what he’s just heard.  Tsuna sighs and promises to help him go through it all later as Kusakabe sets the brief case of papers on the table and Tsuna and Kyouya settle down to talk business about the school budget and what Tsuna’s (and everyone else’s)  roles would be once he entered middle school.

Before Hibari leaves, he decides to test Deshaun by launching himself across the room at unbelievable speed and lashing out with a single tonfa.  Deshaun fumbles to take out the knife that Tsuna had pretended not to notice him hiding up his sleeve and manages to block only for the sheer strength behind the attack to knock him back.  The blade snaps and the tip embeds itself in the wall.  The tonfa does not.

Deshaun staggered but managed to remain on his feet.  The wide eyed look and shaking limbs was an all too common sight to every child in the room.

There is a smirk on Kyouya’s face and Tsuna groaned and face palmed.  Of course the foreigner they picked up had to have some sort of training and combat skill and knowing his luck, most likely some sort of not so legal background.

 “Kyouya.”  Tsuna was going to have to be stern about this and mustered up his most insistent face.  “Not in the house.  Mama’s crochet class is over and she should be home anytime now.  There’s not enough time to clean up.”

There’s a frown in his face now and the older boy sulked but left without a word and a plate of fruit tarts, Kusakabe bidding them goodbye apologetically.

Deshaun is still giving him that ‘what in the hell just happened?’ look, so Tsuna gives him a wry smile as he speaks into the phone.

“That was Hibari Kyouya.  The one with the pompadour is his right-hand.  They’re some of my friends.  Sorry.  I thought it would be better to get him out of the way first.  You can meet the less dangerous ones later.  At least he was going easy on you.  Sometimes he doesn’t even when I ask.”

He handed it back to the man who took a few moments to read the English equivalent even as he marveled over the technology that allowed him to do so.

“You call that easy?  My arm’s still shaking from that-that-“ Giving up, he passed the phone back.

 “Tonfa.  He uses tonfa.  And yes.  Nothing’s completely broken except a bit of your sanity.  Usually, most people end up with at least a fracture or two…or twenty-two.  I did tell him that you’ve just been through a rough time and to be nice.” 

Tsuna patted his hand and led him back to the kitchen. 

“Come on.  I’ll help you go over the rules.  He’s not likely to let you off even for a first time offense.”

He pauses on the way to pry out the blade with a pair of pliers from a drawer and covers the hole with a wall calendar.  He’ll get Shouichi to patch it up later.  When Tsuna turns to Deshaun expectantly, the black man guiltily hands over the rest of the knife without resistance.

Kyoko offers him cupcakes with flower shaped sprinkles and Hana is suspicious, but Haru declares that being they should be good hosts and show him the best of Namimori. This means the girls drag him to all sorts of cake shops and department stores to window shop making it very awkward to look at.  Like a grown man sitting in a tea party with little girls and surrounded by multitudes of lacey things, sparkling pink and stuffed animals. 

The white haired boy is obsessed with boxing and the tall black haired one is obsessed with baseball, but they’re both cheerful and friendly.  Then he gets to witness Ryohei destroy a bench in a single punch and Takeshi hurl a baseball at nearly eighty miles per hour as easily as he can whip up a batch of mac n’ cheese and suddenly feels incredibly inadequate.  Deshaun isn’t sure if it’s just culture shock or something in the waters of Namimori, but he wonders if all Japanese children are like them, strange, alarming, and disturbing in a wide variety of ways.  Tsuna would later do his best to explain that no, they really weren’t.  It was just his friends.

The man who is obviously Yamamoto Takeshi’s father is surprised (and for good reason), but takes him in stride when his son introduces Deshaun as a new friend.  He’s much more welcoming when Tsuna and Tsubird also vouch for him and there’s some sort of strange atmosphere in the air that he can’t figure out when Tsuna insists that the man is to be added to the Sawada’s tab.

Takeshi later explains that Tsuna and his father have this sort of competition…if it can really be called that.  Tsubird and Tsuna provides for most of the ingredients used in their shop.  Tsuyoshi tries to pay Tsuna for them.  Tsuna tries to refuse.  They compromise but Tsuyoshi tries to find ways to pay more and Tsuna tries to find ways to use up the payment.

That doesn’t explain why everyone is suited up like they’re planning to go on an ocean voyage at 3:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning though, but Deshaun is feeling a distinct sense of apprehension.  He looks around from the cheerful Nana wrapping up a set of wickedly sharp knives in waterproof cloth to the cheerful Tsuyoshi handing a set of wickedly sharp harpoons to a cheerful Ryohei and cheerful Takeshi and urgh.  Why is everyone so absurdly cheerful at the moment? 

Except for Tsuna.  Blessed sensible Tsuna who is just as enthusiastic about this whole venture he is and is quite possibly the only truly sane person in this motley crew. He’s seems more resigned than anything else.

Finally at 4 a.m., everything and everyone is ready and they’re all climbing into a fifty foot boat that seems to be a cross between a commercial fishing boat and a yacht sitting just outside the Yamamoto’s private dojo behind the restaurant, Takesushi.  Tsubird appears on the railing in a flash of fire and croons.

“We’re all ready Tsubird!”  Tsuna calls.

“Tsuuuuuuu~!”  And the phoenix spreads her wings.

Deshaun’s blinks and finds himself on open ocean water with no land or other boats in sight as the last of Tsubird’s flames wick out of sight.  She is flying away leaving them to fend for themselves at the moment.

Tsuna sighs and Deshaun is starting to learn to catalogue them. This is the sigh of someone who is steeling himself to deal with something particular unpleasant.

“Here we go.”

“Hahahaha!  I can’t wait!” Takeshi is grinning as he and his dad check their swords.

“…Tsuna?”

“Yes Deshaun?”

Deshaun glances down to the new waterproof translator clipped to his raincoat.  It has an obvious electronic voice but he can now speak into it in English and it will relay his words in Japanese and vice versa.  There are still some bugs to work out, but it’s better for times that he might need both of his hands.  Like now.

“I thought we were going fishing.”

Hibari pulls out both tonfa in anticipation and Ryohei hefts a harpoon as tall as himself over his shoulder.

“We are.”

Shouichi taps away at the control board and the back paneling of the boat opens to reveal something that looks like a torpedo launcher. Several torpedo launchers.

“It looks more like we’re preparing for war.”

Hana takes a seat behind what looks like an arcade game or one of those airplane simulator controller, the torpedo launchers moving as she fiddles with the handles.

Kyoko, sweet naïve pink clad Kyoko, chatters to her best friend about what she hopes to catch as she wields her own man-sized spear with apparent ease.  Haru is a manning a canon like harpoon launcher due to the fact that she doesn’t have the same freakish strength that the Sasagawas seem to share. 

Tsuna tugs the hood of his own raincoat so that it shadows his eyes ominously.

“More like a slaughter.”

His next statement doesn’t do much to make Deshaun feel better.

“At least we’re on an actual boat and not a piece of wreckage like the first time.”

“Do your best everyone!” Nana encourages as she descends into the belly of the boat where the kitchen awaits. “I’ll be expecting a great catch for dinner!”  The door to safety clicks shut behind her with disturbing finality.

“Targets approaching at two-point-eight kilometers North-Northwest.  Expected time of arrival is three minutes.” Shouichi’s voice announces from the speakers.

“Brace yourself.” Tsuna warns.

“Here they come kids!” calls Tsuyoshi.

A red speck is now heading towards them and below it is a dark wave, its shadows a stark contrast to the waters around them.

“EXTREME!”

The massive schools of fish, driven by a combination of phoenix, dolphins, and penguins, descends upon them and Deshaun has never seen fishing like this.  Then again, he’s pretty sure most people haven’t either.  It’s pretty amazing the way these people seem to break the laws of nature and physics as they literally fight the fish into the boat.

He’s exhausted and outclassed and he knows it, but Deshaun give his all with a large pole net before finally retreating to take a seat under a rather calm Tsuna who has taken on the role of fish spotter and is essentially directing everyone else from the top of boat.

Tsuna climbs down once he feels that things are well in hand.

“Thirsty?”

Deshaun pulls out a bottle of water from the cooler under his seat. 

“Thanks.”

Tsuna chugs down half of it right away.  Together they sit in companionable silence as the others fling all sorts of ocean life into the boat.

“So how are you doing?”

“Pretty good all things considered.  You?”

A harpoon loaded with arm-length fish neatly speared though the middle like a shish kebab is tossed next to a line of others just like it.

Tsuna tosses a bottle of water to Ryohei who shouts his thanks as he grabs another unoccupied harpoon.

A huge blue fin tuna slams onto the deck in front of them sending scales and blood and salt water into their faces, the harpoons, courtesy of Kyoko and Haru, embedded in its head sway with its flopping.  Deshaun and Tsuna simultaneously flinch and wipe it off.

“Pretty good all things considered.” He parrots back.  If this is pretty good, Deshaun’s not sure he wants to know what Tsuna considers bad.

 “Hahaha! Nice catch girls!  Takeshi! Better step up your game!”

“Got it Oyaji!”

Several fish splatter themselves next to the tuna in a way that reminds the sitting pair of homerun baseballs.

A massive shark drops in next and Deshaun leaps up with a “Holy fuck!” even as Tsuna remains sitting and sipping at his water.

“Extreme catch Hibari!”

When it seems like the shark is about to break free from its stupor and start thrashing about Tsuyoshi drops from the sky and stabs it straight through the head.

Tsuna doesn’t have time to toss him a bottle of water because he’s already charging towards the next giant leaping fish with gusto.

“He’s a swordsman.  Takeshi is learning how to be one too.”

“Damn.”

The creaking of the nets being hauled back from the torpedo launchers bring their attention to the biggest catch yet.  A squid as long as their boat.

“…Daaaay-yuuum.”

“Yeah.”

Hours later Tsubird returns the penguins to their natural habitat in the Artic.  They had agreed to help with the herding and catching and in exchange Tsubird would return them to their waiting mates and chicks, saving them the long trek across the ice and snow as well as the issue of hungry seals that would try to eat them.  The dolphins are from a fairly friendly nearby pod and had agreed to help under the condition that no penguin was to be harmed.  The prospect of more fish than any being could eat was an appealing offer.

Dinner that night is sushi.  Japan’s iconic food.  Deshaun thought he had had great sushi before at an expensive all you can eat sushi buffet in California, but apparently he was wrong. 

Maybe it’s exhaustion from a hard day’s work.  Maybe it’s the fresh fish.  Maybe it’s the skill of the chefs.  Maybe it’s the company. Maybe it’s the fact that he had helped to catch the fish himself.  Whatever it is, he feels that this is meal makes it into the top five best meals that he’s ever had.

He’s really hopes that they aren’t going to have another fishing trip anytime soon though.

Tsuna sighed as more property was signed over to him.  Kyouya was planning to come along when Tsuna had to deal with the current managers of his new pachinko parlors and ice cream shops and a good chunk of the seedy strip malls and hole in the wall cafes downtown.

Damn those small time yakuza.  This was getting ridiculous.  Occasionally if the elder Hibaris found the Sawada’s assailants to be too small to be worthwhile, they usually just gave Tsuna most or all of the assets. 

Tsuna slapped a packet of papers down on the table.  A paperclip flew off and bounced onto the floor, but he ignored it and turned to Deshaun.

“Do you want one of them?  Some of them?  All of them?”

“What?”

“A job.  Lots of jobs.”

“…what?”

Tsuna pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation and blew out a deep breath.

“These are the rights to several small businesses that are now under my control.  Kyouya’s parents don’t want to deal with them.  Kyouya doesn’t want to deal with them.  I don’t want to deal with them, but if I don’t a lot of people might lose their livelihoods.  None of these are in ideal locations, but they aren’t in bad places either…well not all of them at least.”

Sighing and tapping a fingernail onto the papers before him, Tsuna made a disgruntled noise. 

“Something like that just doesn’t sit right with me, but I don’t want to have to devote all my time to this either.  I’m just a kid.  I have school and homework and I want to be able go and hang out with my friends in my free time.”

“Why the hell do you even have those? How’d you get them anyways?”

“…”

Deshaun wasn’t sure that he really wanted to know, but he figured it’d be safer if he doesn’t remain ignorant and ended up tagging along when Tsuna, Tsubird, Hibari and Kusakabe began to make the circuit around Namimori that they had plotted out days ago.  The rest of the group are apparently along just for the ride and free ice cream.

It’s uncomfortably reminiscent of a shakedown for those resistant to the change in ownership even with the way all these (mostly) cheerful children are cavorting about discussing what flavor they want and very telling in the way that so many hardened criminals are more wary of the young nearly effeminate Hibari and Tsuna than they are of the tall scarred black man behind him.  That or Tsubird’s wicked looking claws and beak and her entourage of a few thousand birds eyeing them with interest.

Tsuna is very good at playing the good cop to Hibari’s bad cop (or maybe saint to demon would be more appropriate) and he’s ultimately the one who keeps everyone in line and prevents them from going overboard.  He even pays for all the ice cream they can eat and gives the others money to play what Deshaun realizes is Japan’s equivalent of a slot machine.  Having to take the tokens somewhere else to be exchanged for cash due to the no gambling law Japan has is a bit troublesome, but he makes about $500 US with his beginner’s luck so he figures he can deal.

Most of the stores are kept functioning like normal and only have a few tweaks made to their operations to encourage growth or increase profits.  Others end up needing to revamped entirely and while they are shut down to do so, they make a comeback with a boom.  After a few months Tsuna tries to sell off some of them to people who have proven that they are capable of maintaining the new standards that Tsuna (and most importantly Hibari) have set. 

His friends convince him to keep them though.  There are enough sweet shops for each girl to pick a theme for their makeovers and the pachinko parlors become a test zone for a particular redhead and blond’s experimental machines.  These pachinko parlors would became so popular that even police officers would routinely schedule checkups just to have an excuse to see what sort of new features they added.

Chapter Text

“Japanese”

“English”

“Chinese”

It’s during the start of the second month that Deshaun is living with them when someone tries to break into the Sawada home in the middle of the night.  Several someones.  And they are all ninjas.  Kind of.  They are chainmail wearing, shuriken flinging, grappling hook wielding people dressed like stereotypical media portrayed ninjas.  And the first group decided to break in through the windows upstairs while the rest waited outside fully prepared for a quick getaway. 

It was lucky that he was downstairs in the kitchen getting a glass of water.  It was lucky that everyone was also downstairs absorbed in a stimulating, but brutal game of Namimori Zaibatsu. 

Namimori Zaibatsu was a custom made board game that played almost like Monopoly, except it was more than five times bigger than the standard board and a hundred times as intricate with tiny plastic replicas of everything from the shrine and mountains to residential houses and commercial buildings. 

They were also playing as tag teams with partners decided by lottery and using real cash because apparently Hibari had been looking forward to this and didn’t feel like waiting for them to finish printing and cutting out the fake money.  Deshaun wasn’t the only person who twitched at the sight of an entire-suspiciously (rust-colored) stained- suitcase of billed yen the boy had slammed onto the table, but by now he was learning to just let it go.

Kyoko had the most amazing luck when it came to rolling the dice and together with Tsuna (who had the most amazing bad luck when it came to rolling the dice) owned three-quarters of the food based shops. Tsubird constantly tried to give Tsuna her train lines and malls which he refused and Nana kept scoring all the ‘get out of jail’ cards which she freely dispensed to anyone who needed it. (Usually her own son.)

Hibari had become obsessed with trying to claim every single school, but Haru refused to give up Midori Middle and latched on to the property right with all the tenacity of a hungry bulldog while Deshaun continued to snatch up the pharmaceutical related businesses and suburbs for their team left and right.  Yamamoto’s capture of Namichuu managed to placate Hibari somewhat, but the teen still continued to make barely audible whistles under his breath.  Neither Tsuna nor Tsubird cared to enlighten the rest of the room to its meaning.     

Kusakabe and Ryohei took over the parks and recreational features along with the utilities.  The real threat though ended up being the tag team of Shouichi and Hana who stealthily dominated the banks and technology sectors.  It was all sort of scary, surreal, and confusing at once but Deshaun couldn’t deny that he was having fun.  He was a beast at Monopoly and as far as he was concerned, this was just a Japanese edition with a few extra rules.

Then wild bird cries start up and as one, Tsuna, Tsubird and Hibari all freeze and turn towards the entrance way in the direction of the upstairs guest room.  It was an unspoken signal that had everyone moving the board and table into the corner of the room give them some space even as they continued to barter (and rather loudly at that) over property rights and cash and something that looked like incredibly realistic miniature title deeds.  (Deshaun later learned that they had somehow managed to get copies of the actual ones.  He didn’t ask how and the kids didn’t tell.)

By the time the ninjas came, Hibari, who had gotten fed up with Ryohei’s badgering for an actual fight to decide who would claim an expensive daycare center, nailed one in the forehead with a tonfa when Nana had left to get more tea.  He had actually aimed for the white haired boxer, but seeing as Ryohei had ducked, the ninja ended up dropping like a rock instead.

What followed was pure pandemonium as the most of the players began yelling, Tsubird and Tsuna began screeching, and suddenly Hibari had a convenient vent for his mounting frustration at being unable to assert his complete dominance over the education sector of Namimori Zaibatsu.  A part of Tsuna was glad that the neighbors had long since learned to ignore the sounds coming from their property.

Deshaun ended up in a knife fight with a small, but quick woman and inadvertently managed to shank her in the shoulder because Haru had rammed her from behind with her newly made man sized Namehage costume shouting about how she wasn’t about to let a ninja get away with trying to steal her game partner no matter how cool her armor looked.  The woman continued to scream as Tsubird raked her sharp claws through the dark cloth covering her head.  Then the firebird snagged her by her uncovered hair and flung her towards the doorway where more masked people were pouring in. 

“Ninjas?!  You have actual fucking ninjas?!  The hell is this shit?!  Mortal Kombat?!“

“Tch.  Annoying herbivores.”  Hibari made a displeased whistle as he KO’d two men at once, flipped over a third and dislocated another’s arm with a sickening pop even as he shattered a femur on a fifth. He gave another high chittering call as he began to use the heads of their assailants as springboards.

Someone brought metal projectiles into the fray and the baseball loving boy who Deshaun had thought of as one of the nicer children suddenly became as sharp as the kunai and shuriken that were being hurled at them.  Why Yamamoto had even brought a metal bat with him to an ‘innocent’ board game was something only he could answer, but it didn’t matter so much as that he had a weapon to defend them now.

There were now two demonic children in the room.  One reveling in the screams and the terror and the other completely focused on returning every projectile he saw with obsessively single-minded concentration.  The last time Deshaun had seen that sort of expression was on a grown man who moonlighted as a musician in bars when he wasn’t out offing people for money.   To see that same expression on the ever cheerful preteen chilled him even more than Hibari’s obvious bloodlust.

At some point Nana managed to get a couple windows open and Hana and Kyoko covered by Takeshi and Deshaun managed to do the same to the back door just before Ryohei’s extreme punch sent a man thrice his size through it.  Birds of all shapes and sizes-those who weren’t already mobbing the rest of the assailants still stationed outside-swarmed in like something out of Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds.’

Through it all, Tsuna had hunkered down behind a makeshift shield of chairs (and was that glowing wall of light being emitted from Shouichi’s Rubix Cube looking toy actually a force field?) and was calmly making a phone call.  For what was apparently the Hibari kid’s family.

“Yes. Yes.  We’re kind of pinned down in the kitchen and living room at the moment.  Uh-huh. They look like ninjas.  Not like ones the Ginkosui-kai hired that time though.  I’m not sure who sent these.  We haven’t had anyone come by recently.”

It was true.  It had been oddly peaceful for once.  People who normally came for Tsubird came in small groups.  Get in.  Grab the bird.  Maybe get rid of the humans. And get out without alerting anyone else until it was too late.  The fact that there was only a small soft-looking woman and her equally small soft-looking son led people to believe that they wouldn’t need more than a handful of thugs or other hired help.  The last time Tsuna had seen so many assailants was when a minor yakuza group had come for revenge because Tsubird and Hibari beat up some of their members for littering. 

This wasn’t anything like that though.  It was a veritable swarm of people and if it wasn’t for the constant harassment of all the local avian life, he wasn’t sure if even Kyouya would have been able to handle them all.  In fact…were they even really after Tsubird?

There was a melodic trill and suddenly a man (or was that a woman?) with long hair was screaming as it caught on fire.  

“Could you excuse me for a second?“

Tsuna covered the speaker.

“Tsubird!  Not in the house!  Bring them to the street if you’re going to do that!”

“Sorry Hibari-san.  You were saying? I-what?....Kyouya!  Your mom wants to know if you’ve seen her deer horn knives! The red ones with the cranes!”

His reply was a harsh clicking noise, two grunts, a chain of fluttering fwee-fwee-fwee sounding whistles, and ended with some sort of high pitched whooping call from the maniacally (sadistically) grinning teen.

“…He says to check the top of your dresser.  Something about sharp butterflies too.  Butterfly Swords?  Is that what they’re called? Sorry, it’s a little hard to understand him at the moment.”

That he could even pick out his friend at all was rather impressive considering the racket that was being made by everything else.  The conversation continued somewhere along this vein for another minute with Tsuna calmly speaking over the din of screaming people and shrieking birds to Kyouya’s mother who was sending several clean up specialist retainers and keeping an eye out on the proceedings of the fight.

“Tsu-kun.  Ask if they would prefer barley rice or green tea.  I just ran out of Pu-er and I won’t be able to make more in time.” 

The pot of Pu-er tea that Nana had just boiled mere minutes ago had been poured down a man’s back, a man who had been attempting to grab Kyoko in the hopes of using her as a hostage. 

Shouichi had his laptop open and recording everything and once Deshaun managed to have the entire conversation translated at a later time, he would reflect that this quite possibly made the Sawadas the most disturbing ones of all.

The force field the noncombatants had all gathered behind was literally just a flat wall, like one of those clear thin tanks with water flowing down the insides and lights illuminating the ripples that Deshaun had once seen in a McDonald’s, but through some manipulation of the Rubix Cube, its size could be changed.  It now stretched from the ground to the ceiling and had to be angled to touch a wall to keep the sides from being exposed.  It wasn’t a perfect defense, but it kept everyone who wasn’t outside fighting safe from the projectiles. 

Nana had somehow managed to sequester quite a bit of her kitchenware with her.  It was quite an impressive stash considering how little time she had.  It was also useful as every time Deshaun lost a knife, Nana was there pressing another one into his hands.  She herself was shielded by a huge wok that the man was fairly certain that he had never seen before considering how he had helped to wash nearly everything in the house at least thrice.

A man a head taller than Deshaun’s considerable five foot ten inches height and more than three times as wide appeared at the doorway carrying what seemed to be a bazooka big enough to fit a small child on his shoulder.

The one round he had managed to fire turned out to be a thick net aimed to capture the bloodthirsty figure that was diving through the air.  Only it never did.  Instead it caught and bagged Tsuna who had abandoned the safety of Shouichi’s Rubix Cube force field to keep their best fighting asset aside from Tsubird from being taken out of commission.

The man only got to shoot once because as he readied for a second round, Nana conked him with her biggest, heaviest cast iron tea pot causing a meaty ringing *THWACK* that was swallowed up in the chaos of the screeching birds throughout the room.  While he staggered forward, Nana switched her hold on the handle, swung the teapot back and up in a wide circle, and brought it crashing back down on his head with all the force that an enraged mother could muster.  The man toppled over and went still, his netting bazooka clattering to the side.

Though Tsuna couldn’t see anything more than moving shadows outside the heavy canvas like material, he could still hear Tsubird’s scream of rage drowning out everyone’s concerned cries.  A wave of heat washed over him and it seemed to last for an eternity, but ice cold terror gripped his heart the entire time.

“Tsubird! Tsubird!  Stop Tsubird! Stop! TSUBIRD!”

This was far worse than the time the dogs had attacked him all those years ago.  Confined in the stifling net, Tsuna couldn’t tell what was going on, but Tsubird’s continuing screeches made him want to bolt and freeze in panic at the same time. 

Tsuna realized that he needed to focus and so he reached for the composure that had been forged through years of dealing with the violence and moments of insanity that was his life now.  He took a deep breath.  Panic slid away like water off a duck’s back.  Another breath.  His mind and body stop flailing with fear.  Another breath.  Focus.  Blessed focus.  Tsubird’s chilling rage threatened to break through it so Tsuna pushed harder than ever before and clarity and calm swept through his entire being.

It was incredible.  The air was still choking and the heat was still causing sweat to soak into his clothes.  Tsubird’s calls still made an uncomfortable ringing in his mind, but it was all easily ignored in his newfound mental state.

There’s the buzz of some sort, like electricity sparking freely and Tsuna instantly catalogued it as a toy robot that Shouichi had added tasers to in the arms.  They had mostly been using them to fetch soda cans and bottled drinks so this was the first real application of the less mundane features and it seemed to be performing admirably enough judging by a choked off scream nearby. 

Leave it to the resident genius to continue the fight with something that would be unaffected by whatever Tsubird’s harmonic screeches were doing to the humans.

There was a flare and Tsuna meticulously catalogued it as Tsubird’s flame teleportation technique.  In between one heartbeat and the next, but something tickled at the edge of his awareness in a way that had never happened before.

Then cold fresh air was pouring in and he realized that someone is cutting the net open. He blinks and sees that everyone is safely in the Hibari compound in the back courtyard leading to their garden.

Deshaun was the one who cut him out and his mother is frantically checking him over for injuries. 

All around him, everyone is clamoring with questions about his welfare and Tsubird, magnificent still burning Tsubird, is worriedly nudging him, but Tsuna is still engulfed in this strange calm where everything appears so clear and he can focus on the steps he will need to take to ensure that things go in the best way possible for his family and friends.

“Everyone give him some space!” Deshaun shouted. “I think he’s in shock.”

“No.” Tsuna objected. “No I’m not. Kyouya?”

The boy stepped forth and his mother along with several men and women appeared in the background. Tsuna could the intrigue in their eyes.

“That man wasn’t aiming for Tsubird.  He focused on you instantly.”

“What is this Tsunayoshi?” Xui-Yan questioned.  “What has happened?”

Tsuna focused his unsettling gaze on the woman.

“We were forced to retreat.  These weren’t your average thugs.  They’ve all had training as well as numbers.  They just weren’t expecting us to be able to hold them off for as long as we did.  For all intents and purposes, we are normal civilians, children playing a board game under the supervision of a housewife and a foreigner.”

Her eyes flicked to the net still pooled around his sock clad feet.  “And how did you end up in that bag?”

“I had to ensure that our best fighter remained free to continue fighting.”

Kyouya grudgingly nodded to his mother and Xui-Yan clapped her hands and ordered the servants to bring them slippers and prepare the guest rooms.

“It seems that the Hibari clan owes you a debt Tsunayoshi.”

Tsuna frowned.

“This is not something that a debt should be made over.  This is something that friends do.  Our enemies will burn before I let them take my friends.”

Satisfaction curls in Tsuna’s gut at the almost touched, almost bewildered expression on Kyouya’s face at his callous threat and the others all chime in agreement.

“Nonetheless.  As a mother, I owe you all debt for keeping my son safe.  You’ve done enough for now.  Please.  Come this way and take a rest.  I suspect that you would like to be in bed before your shock wears off.”

“Yes I would.  But I’m not in shock. Not right now.  I feel…focused.  There are things that still need to be done.  Shouichi.  Is there any way to track them?”

“Ah-wh-what? Oh! Yes.” Shouchi fumbled to open his laptop which he had been clutching to his stomach as it roiled in worry.  “I tagged as many of the assailants as I could.  If you remember, Spanner and I were chatting online about ten minutes before the warning calls started. He’s taken control of the Aerial Moscas at the moment and those are equipped with tracking darts as well. Here.”

He handed Tsuna a gps from his backpack zoomed into the neighborhood with various shapes dotted across the screen.  Some were moving, but many were not. 

“Blue circles are individual humans.  Green squares are four wheeled vehicles.  Yellow triangles are two wheeled vehicles.  Anything red is something that Spanner’s tagged as high priority which means proceed with caution around them.  They’re the most heavily armed or dangerous.”

More and more symbols appeared as Spanner marked as many people as he could from halfway around the world and Tsuna focused on his next move.

“How many more of these do you have?”

“Nine.  Seven are older models and there’s a three to fifteen second lag when the tracker is activated in those.”

“Hibari-san.  Will that be enough?”

 “…hmm. Possibly.  We do have more vehicles though.  If all of our resources are pooled then-”

 “Oh no.” The redhead groaned not looking away from his laptop.  “Multiple hidden aircraft spotted.  They might get away.”

Xui-Yan’s nostrils flared in quiet fury.  Tsuna noted that he was still wearing his harness though.  After all these years, he actually felt more naked without it than he did with normal clothing.

“No.  They won’t.”

Then Tsuna did what he did best.  Delegate.

Shouichi would stay at the Hibari compound and provide navigation details while maintaining communications with Spanner was still doing his best to tag as many enemies as he could.

The girls, especially Hana who made it her business to know everyone and everything that happened in her vicinity, stayed with Shouichi to provide information about everything from traffic light times to nightly social club schedules and corporate company parties to areas blocked for construction.  How they knew those didn’t matter so long as they could come up with a route that would allow everyone else to herd their enemies towards an ideal location for confrontation.

Groups of Hibari clan servants would use the trackers and collaborate to chase the ninjas there using Shouichi’s trackers.

Kusakabe was to rouse up the rest of the DC members and add them to the information network, but they were not to engage in any of the enemies.  His job was coordinate the DC as they joined forces with the clan servants to subtly directed any fleeing enemy vehicles whether it be by activating crosswalk lights at certain streets or setting up a fake construction scene and putting detour or one way signs to direct traffic.  

Takeshi would alert his dad to the situation and have him be on standby just in case they needed him. 

Tsubird would carry Tsuna and he would direct the other from the sky through headsets while using special binoculars that Shouichi conveniently had on hand.  They would transport Xui-Yan and her best warriors to the chosen battleground, an out of the way meadow at the base of a mountain. Once the ninjas were isolated enough from public view, Tsubird would swoop in, grab onto the vehicle and then drop them into the field from the air.

Kyouya, Ryohei, Takeshi and Deshaun would move in as a unit to rejoin the fighting grounds, but the Hibari was not to go off alone no matter how he felt about it.  When it seemed like Kyouya might protest, Xui-Yan cut him off with a stern look.  It was bad enough that he was still going out even though he was the target, but Tsuna wouldn’t deny him revenge for ruining their game night. 

And Nana would start preparing a meal for everyone because surely they would be hungry after their night long game of ninja tag.  It was enough to throw Xui-Yan and the rest of her servants off kilter and before they knew it, Nana had kicked them out and claimed their expansive kitchen as her own.

“…Tsunayoshi…your mother…”

“Hibari-san.  My mother is someone who you will truly never be able to win against.  And neither will Tsubird nor I.”

“...”

Everyone was eager to rush off and carry out their orders when Tsuna stopped them.

“Wait. There’s one more we need to do first.”

“What is it Tsuna-kun?”

“What’s the extreme hold up Sawada?”

“Spit it out Tsunayoshi or you’ll be bitten to death.”

Tsuna was entirely unfazed.

“Please put some shoes on before you go.”

As one, the crowd of people looked down and realized that they were all still in their socks.

Over a hundred feet in the air, the night was dark with a new moon and the wind was cool against his body.  Tsubird’s heat seeped from his back to the very tips of his fingers and toes.  The unnaturally natural calm that filled him also noted how he didn’t feel any fear despite how the houses looked like toys below his dangling feet.

Tsuna thought that he could get used to this.  Tsubird definitely had no objections and he gave her head a few strokes when she rubbed her cheek against his.

The harness had undergone some quick reconstruction so that all his weight wouldn’t be focused against his chest, but it seemed that it wasn’t necessary.  Whatever magic that kept Tsubird afloat inside the house seemed to extend to him and it almost felt like he was walking on air himself.

A small robot about the size of his forearm flew up to his face and the chest slid open to reveal a palm sized screen depicting a blond boy pulling a pink wench out of his mouth

“Yo.  So you two are Tsuna and Tsubird huh?”

“Spanner?”

“Yep.  That’s me. Nice to meet you.  Shouichi talks about you a lot.  Japan seems like fun.  Pachinko. Ice cream mochi.  Phoenixes.  Ninjas.  I’d like to visit sometime.”

“…”

“Well.  I’ll talk to you later.  Shouichi just hacked into their communication lines and turns out they have a ship waiting to transport them to China so I’ll need to track it down. The rest of the mini moscas here are at your service if you need them.”

The hologram winked off before Tsuna could say his good-byes and the apparent mini mosca’s arm moved up and down in an imitation of a wave before flying away.

Tsuna frowned, still calm and resisting the urge to touch the little decorative crystal vial hidden under his clothes.  All of his friends wore one on a necklace of their choice.  It was a long shot, but Tsuna hoped that no one would have to use theirs tonight. 

“We’ll need to make sure Kyouya’s parents get their gifts before they leave again.”

“Tsuuu.”

“Ushikawa Reika’s great-grandmother just passed away.  Her funeral was being held here today.” Hana pointed out on the digital hologram of a map of Namimori.  “She has a huge extended family and many friends. More than four hundred people came to offer their condolences and over two hundred and fifty of them are still here.  The crowd is out at the Kinju shopping district for dinner, but the majority of them should be leaving in fifteen minutes.  There should be heavy traffic here, here, and here.”

“The Society of Lagomorph Lovers rented out Denji’s Dancehall for their meeting today.  Hina-chan’s daddy works in the police and she got permission to have this area cordoned off for when the club members go out to do the Bunny Hop in their furry outfits.”  Haru sighed.  “It’s so much fun. If we hadn’t agreed to make this Namimori Zaibatsu night, Haru could be there instead.”

It was a testament to Shouichi’s concentration that he didn’t even pause his rapidfire typing at this tidbit.

“Oh good.” Kyoko smiled.  “That means the streets over here should be available.  The traffic light starting just after Tadokoro’s Bakery has a red light that last forty-seven seconds.  The next one lasts a full fifty seconds at this intersection.  If you go east to Hakuru (the candy shop), this street’s next light is thirty-two seconds, west is thirty-six at Kawaii (the macaroon store that also sells those cute cell phone charms) , north is Mina’s Mochi Shop at forty-three seconds as it’s the last one before heading toward the center of Namimori.”

“Got it.  I’ll have to manually adjust each light’s timer but there’s not much traffic at this time so if they’re really at a hurry I’m not sure if they’ll for red lights.”

“Shouichi-kun?”

“Yes Kyoko-chan?”

“Do you think you could permanently change them to a more consistent (and shorter) time?  It’s so frustrating to have to wait for the light to change.  Especially when there’s a limited time promotion at the shops and the buttons for the cross walk never seem to work.”

“…then is thirty seconds good?  And those buttons are just for decoration to make people think they actually make a difference.  I’ll have to manually connect them to the network later.”

“That’ll be great.  Thanks.”

Meanwhile Nana worked her magic in the kitchen alone.

“Namimori sure is busy tonight.” She mused.  “Xui-chan is such a sweet woman, but she’s certainly no chef.  I’m lacking in so many tools here and there are less ingredients than I had thought there would be.  I hope this will be enough to feed everyone.” 

Ten rice pots steadily bubbled away.  Every wok and pot and pan was in use and the exhaust fans could barely keep up with the demand as Nana continued to chop and steam and fry and stir like a woman possessed. 

Outside, the family cooks furiously debated whether or not they should even try to take back their kitchen after one peek revealed what seemed to be an apsara dancing through the clouds of steam, an impossibly long skein of homemade noodles flowing about her like the spirit’s famed celestial cloth.

“For such a small town, it is rather busy tonight.”

“Those boys all have the same hairstyle.  Are they part of a street gang?”

“I don’t understand.  Is there a festival?  Why are so many people hopping through the streets dressed as rodents?”

“Because they are idiots. Why do you ask so many stupid questions?” groused their driver. He cursed aloud as he saw several young men wearing bright yellow construction vests behind a line of cones.  They all looked the same oddly enough.

After the failure to retrieve Hibari Kyouya, the mobbing of thousands of birds and the strange tales they told of a phoenix of all things aiding him along with several impossibly strong children, they had rounded up all the unconscious (or dead, they didn’t have time to check) and quickly tried to flee only to find that not only was the town still bustling about this late hour, but the traffic lights were irritatingly long and the people (delinquent looking children who liked to stop and give them rude gestures and drunk or sobbing men and women) crossing the streets took their sweet time.

He was tempted to run some of them over, especially those pompadour haired boys, but there were also several police escorts for what seemed to be a funeral procession (this late at night?) as well as sectors closed off for the bunny and mouse clad people who seemed to be dancing through them.

More bird poop splattered across the windshield and snarling, he twisted the knob for the windshield wiper harder than necessary.  What was going on here?  Weren’t the only birds awake at this time owls?

Still muttering to himself and anyone who cared to listen, he followed the detour signs and sharply turned down into an empty lane which seemed to be devoid of traffic.  Someone in the back groaned and cursed at his driving skills.  Probably the woman who had been knifed by the black man.  He cursed her back.

Why is there even a black foreigner in the same house with all the children?  Hired help maybe? A male nanny? Bodyguard? The father? The reports still never elaborated exactly who or what he was.  Just that he had been living there for some time and was always seen with the children who were reported to be Hibari Kyouya’s friends.

So irritated by everything that had gone wrong that night, it took him a few moments to notice that something was off.  If every place was this busy, surely there would be more vehicles in this lane wouldn’t there?

A trap?…!

He was about to slam on the gas pedal when a bonfire came into view in the middle of the street.  The fire flared and flickered away to reveal a figure.

It was a boy.  A boy with bright red and gold wings.  A boy clearly floating four feet in the air and holding out a hand in the universal gesture for stop.

“Is that…a demon?” the man next to him wondered aloud in fearful curiosity.

Like hell was he going to stop for a demon.  He floored it.

Just as he thought that he was going to hit the floating winged demon child, the world vanished into flames and the next thing he knew, he was falling backwards and down, down, down.

There were screams from the back and from the side and probably from himself too but all he could focus on was the shrinking visage of the emotionless demon watching as he dropped them into Hell.

It was a relatively short trip, but the impact still knocks the wind out of him and he doesn’t realize that he’s laying on his back still strapped to his seat. The same can’t be said for the people in the back. There is a creaking sound and before anyone can get their bearings, the world flips again and now he’s hanging upside down. 

By the time they manage to climb out of the van, the shattered glass crunching underfoot, it’s to view a moonlight meadow filled with the unholy cacophony of combat, screeching birds and another little boy perched atop their ruined vehicle.

He lifts his tonfa and smiles and that is when the driver realizes that this is another demon.  He may not have wings like the first one, but he has the might of a million birds blotting out the stars behind him, the blood of his enemies dripping from his clothes, and his weapons awash in lavender colored fire.

“For destroying the order of Namimori, I’ll bite you to death.”

This truly is Hell, but it is unlike anything he could have dreamed of.

The empty van laid on its back, its wheels slowly, uselessly spinning to a stop just like the other abandoned vehicles also scattered across the grass.

He had thought that he’d be able to handle himself in a fight.  He’d survived quite a few in his own youth and he’d been somewhat trained by some pretty amazing guys in the use of a knife. He’d kept himself alive on a deserted island for over a year.  He’d managed to not break any bones when Hibari Kyouya felt like lashing out at him just because.  He thought he’d be okay after making it through two fishing trips.

Apparently he was wrong.  Fighting out in the open like this with much more room to maneuver than inside the living room makes it harder to keep track of his surroundings.  There are skirmishes and sharp things everywhere because Tsuna and Tsubird are dropping in more and more enemies faster than they can subdue them.  Ironically it’s the fishing trips that has provided the most experience for this sort of situation and Deshaun vows to never bitch (even inside his own head) about going on one again.

All five of his tactical knives, presents from Tsuna who had gotten them when he had mentioned that he didn’t feel safe without one, are gone and there is no Nana to guard his back or hand him another one of her kitchen tools.  His dominant arm isn’t responding due to a lucky cut that sliced a tendon and the ninja in front of him has a clear shot. Deshaun finds that whole life flashing before your eyes thing is utter complete and bullshit because all he can see is the masked figure in front of him readying his or her sword for a final strike.

Kyouya has inherited his mother’s near inhuman grace and deadly beauty and it’s never more clear to Deshuan than when she saves him from decapitation via ninja, her weapons, two large metal circles with wavy blades jutting out from the rim.  One deflecting the sword as the other slices open the chest of the enemy before her.

They are called wind-and-fire wheels and he has no time to learn why they’re called that as he’s being ushered back with the rest of the wounded by Takeshi who’s welding his baseball bat that seems to be wreathed in blue fire.  He idly thinks that he might have gone into shock.  Either that or he’s becoming inured against the strange things that seem to happen in Namimori.

His dirty knife fighting style has gotten him through many scrapes but it’s finally failed against these well trained combatants.

He had barely done anything useful out there before he’s gotten seriously injured.  Why had he decided to join in? Oh yeah. Because somewhere along the way, he had grown to truly care for all these strange crazy people who had saved him and taken him in without question or expectations. 

Deshaun sighs and retreats to where a cloud of birds are swarming and guarding the makeshift medical van.  The wounded arm is sluggishly bleeding out and burns but it doesn’t bother him as much as his heavy heart or his missing knives because he feels bad about having to ask Tsuna for anything when the boy has already done so much for him without expecting any sort of compensation.

He tugs out the plain black rattail necklace from under his shirt to reveal a sparkly crystal vial wrapped in wire and unscrews the top off with his teeth.  A few moments later he sighs in relief and flexes his still tingling, but now completely healed arm.

There is a lot of blood lust and killing intent filling the air and yet something sharp and dangerous still spikes Xui-Yan’s instinct.  When she finally has enough breathing room to take a look, she finds that it is Yamamoto Tsuyoshi’s son.  Her husband had once mentioned that he is an accomplished swordsman and she has seen a little of his skill in the way he handles the knives he makes sushi with, but his son who she only knows of as an obsessive baseball fanatic is apparently a natural born assassin.  The cold ruthlessness and complete focus is something that even hardened men thrice his age may not be able to achieve.  Neither is the strange blue fire that is engulfing his bat.

Another light flashes from the corner of her eyes and she sees the noisy gray haired child who often appears at their doorstep at all hours of the day to pester her son for fights decking a masked man into a tree with a powerful right hook and an ear shattering “EXTREME PUNCH!”  His boxing gloves are glowing a soft yellow, but she doubts that he notices or would even care.  He seems to be having fun at finally being able to let loose.  Sort of like her own son.

Speaking of her own beloved son, Kyouya is flitting across the grounds together with an innumerable number of birds.  While the feathered creatures mob and distract their enemies, Kyouya dives in for the kill with tonfa that are shining from something other than moonlight.  He’s clearly commanding them in their own language if the way his lips form sounds that are not any words known to mankind.

Xui-Yan shakes her head and sighs.  She wonders if he will ever realize how lucky he is to actually have a legitimate reason to speak to the birdlife like so.  Or of the fact that he seems to have awakened the rare ability to use his inner fire.

A kunai whistles through the air in warning.  It’s off its mark by at least three feet, but she twists and ducks away ready to engage in its thrower when she sees Tsunayoshi’s charity case using his considerable height to lift and choke a woman nearly a foot shorter than him.  She scrabbles at the steel bar disguised as an arm and kicks back as hard as she can, but with another hoist and a twist, she goes limp.  Deshaun holds her for a few more seconds to ensure that she’s not playing dead, before he lowers her to the ground and begins to search her clothes.

“Hmm.  Not bad.  Consider your debt paid Sanders.”

“Just doin’ my duty ma’am.” He replied modestly, grinning as he finds a suitable new knife. It’s not quite what he’s used to, but it’ll do for now. “She ain’t dead, but can I ask you to keep it that way?”

“These assailants are after my only child.  Why should I not kill her?”

“Maybe.  But I know someone who’ll be real upset if she dies tonight.”

As if on cue, Tsubird and Tsuna dropped in with another van of screaming ninja.

“Ah.”

“Yeah.”

“And your arm?”

Deshaun just points at Tsuna and Tsubird again.

The ship and all the aircrafts had been taken over by special mini moscas which had discretely attached themselves to the control rooms.  From there, Shouichi and Spanner proceeded to seize control of all electronic operations leaving the puzzled assailants cursing and scratching their heads over why their vehicles had suddenly become junk.

Tsubird descends with Tsuna a few hours later.  Her tears flow freely and because of it there are no human casualties on the side of those under her protection.  Then Tsuna orders that their prisoners are to receive the same treatment.

“Tsunayoshi.” Xui-Yan protests.

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.  They still need to be interrogated.”

“You only need a few for that.”

“I’d prefer it if there is as little loss of life as possible.”

One of the prisoners tied up at their feet spits and curses at them in a dialect that is neither Mandarin nor Cantonese.  Tsuna doesn’t recognize what he’s saying but he got the general gist anyways.

Xui-Yan does however and her shapely eyes narrow. She makes to kick him but he’s smirking as he begins to choke and turn purple.

“Poison!” the Hibari matron hisses, frustrated that they will most likely lose all the prisoners to suicide before they can extract anything useful.  As she can bark orders for the others to be searched, Tsuna is prying open the dying man’s mouth and pouring a few drops of the contents of his vial into it.

His cheeks rapidly regain a healthy flush and there is nothing but shock in his eyes as he realizes that he can breathe again.

“These are the tears of a phoenix.” Tsuna explains. “They’re an antidote for any poison and can even reattach limbs if used in time.  They can’t bring the dead to life, but they can pull someone on the brink of it back.  We have questions and you will not be able to escape them through death.  No one will. Not if I can help it.”

The horror in the man’s eyes makes it clear that even if Tsuna can’t understand him, he can understand Tsuna.

“No one.” The boy reiterates, face still eerily blank.  Around the isolated meadow that had become a battlefield they could see other convulsing would-be kidnappers receiving the same treatment, some directly from Tsubird herself.  The prisoner closes his eyes and bows his head in defeat.

Behind Tsuna, Xui-Yan is now the one smirking as her people line up the prisoners who are visibly shaken at the sight of the blazing phoenix crowing victory in the air.

“Tsunayoshi.  I don’t suppose you would-“

“No. Tsubird might be willing, but I don’t condone torture.”

“Hmmm. Very well.  Thank you for everything you’ve done tonight.”

Tsuna tilted his head up into the lightening sky.  Sunrise would be arriving soon and he would prefer it if everyone was tucked away in the privacy of the Hibari compound before the normal hustle and bustle of ordinary people began.

The ship and planes and their crew still had to be retrieved though.

“You’re welcome.  We should return soon.  Mama should be about done with the first half of breakfast, but we’ll need to make a stop at home to get more food.  I don’t think you have enough ingredients to feed everyone.”

“Everyone? Surely, you don’t mean…”

“Hibari-san.  I've already said that my mother is someone who you will truly never be able to win against.  And neither will Tsubird nor I.”

“…”

The Hibari clan head, Hiroto, had been informed of the situation on his way back to Japan.  He would be too late to join in for the fight and capture of the bulk of their forces, but conveniently he was also in the area of the waiting ship.  From there he and his men took over all the stalled aircraft as well.

By the time Hiroto stepped into his home, he was simply hoping to wash off the blood and head straight to bed despite it still being daylight.

However he ends up standing and staring at what seems to be an exquisite meal fit for an emperor, hundreds of bowls, platters and dishes with their contents artfully arranged in an easy to reach manner across several sturdy tables. He was fairly sure that they weren’t here when he left for his trip two weeks ago.

“Hey-yo! Hibari-kun!”

“…Yamamoto Tsuyoshi.  What are you doing here?”

“Well our boys have been out having a busy night out with their friends and Nana-chan called to say that you didn’t have much in stock so I decided to contribute a bit.  My place is closed today anyways.”

Hands flashing so quickly that they leave afterimages in the air, Tsuyoshi finished adding the last touches to a Triple Tsu-Special.

“It’s on the house so eat up!”

Taking the proffered platter and a pair of chopsticks with a quiet thanks, Hiroto sat down at an empty chair with an almost nonexistent sigh of relief.  It has been a long night and day and he’s never been able to avoid the jet lag.

“Gonna need to go on another fishing trip soon.  Hey! Hibari-kun.  You and your wife should take a couple of days off and come with us.  It’s a chance to spend some quality time with your son and the kids all have so much fun.”

Hiroto’s eyes slid to an exhausted looking Deshaun who was clearly listening in with his translator and shaking his head at him in the background.

“…I’ll think about it.”

The dining area was filled with people in various stages of alertness who greet him if they are conscious enough to do so.  His eyes fix, not on his own dozing son, but on Tsunayoshi who seems to have become the epitome of tranquility.  There was something in his gaze, something that he and his wife had only seen flashes and glimpses of in the past.  That gaze seemed to pierce through his very being and lay open every secret that he had.  It was intimidating in a way that he had rarely ever felt. 

“Welcome back Hibari-san.”

As if Tsuna had found what he was searching for, the brunet closed his eyes and allowed himself finally let go of the focus that had gripped him the entire time.  He sagged like a puppet that had had its strings cut and allowed himself to join the others in slumber.

As far as anyone can figure out, Tsuna’s unshakable disposition that night seemed to have been brought about by duress.  If it was shock, it had manifested in an unusual, but useful way.  His explanation of how he felt, how his thoughts traveled, and how he was able to anticipate actions and reactions so quickly was chalked up to adrenaline and the same astute intuition that allowed him to be so successful at running his businesses.

The first thing Tsuna did was provide Kyouya’s parents with their own vial of phoenix tears.  In truth, Kyoya had them commissioned some time ago for their anniversary.  An ornate jade and gold vial for his mother and a silver and sapphire one for his father.  Neither were ones for bulky jewelry or flashy statement pieces, but they both understood the value of always having its priceless contents on hand.  Tsuyoshi and Nana each had one as well, but Kyouya’s parents were so often away that it was only now that their son had been able to present them with their gifts.

Then there was the matter of what to do with the eighty-seven prisoners awaiting their fates.

The men and women that had attacked that night come from a triad that wished to gain an advantage over the one Xui-Yan came from.  The supposedly easiest and least guarded hostage that they could find was Kyouya, the eighteenth grandson of the current head.  He was actually meant to be an extra acquisition because they were also in the process of smuggling contraband between countries.

They had taken into account that he would be strong (although not that monstrously strong).  They had taken into account that he would have friends.  They had not taken into account that he was friends with the greatest conglomeration of budding freaks in this little town.  They had also not taken into account that he was friends with a boy who claimed a phoenix as family.

A boy who could not be lied to.  A boy who no one could escape from even through death. And a phoenix whose anger is both hot and everlasting at the threat to what is hers.  It didn’t matter that he couldn’t understand a word they said, he could still tell when someone did not speak with the utmost truth and while he kept their interrogators from torturing them, staying under his steady gaze was somehow more unnerving than the ones who would happily rip off their nails one by one.

Meals are actually quite delicious as Nana herself often cooks the food for them.  The servants who bring the meals still gossip to each other about the possibility that she is actually a demigoddess, the daughter of an apsara and a mortal because the way she moves in the kitchen is not something a normal human could possibly imitate.  This would mean that her son, the boy who controls a phoenix is also not entirely human and his uncanny ability to sense even the minutest best of falsehood would make so much sense. 

Tsuna himself visits the prisoners almost daily in their cells which are hewn into a mountainside.  The Hibari property spans no fewer than five mountains and it’s useful when they want the privacy to conduct some not so legal things.

Sometimes Tsuna’s there to pick out lies during questioning.  Other times he comes to check on their comfort or bring in meals and drinks.  He’s unbelievably kind to them, making sure no one is in serious pain, at risk for infection or illness, too cold at night, or even in need of some allergy pills and slowly but surely some begin to comply with his queries willingly.  Yet many more still cannot forget the way he looked that night when they believed him to be a demon ferrying them to the underworld.

There are lit torches in the outer halls to light the place at night and when Tsuna is away, Tsubird occasionally slips in.  Sometimes she sings a song.  Sometimes it is a haunting one that makes the men and women weep in sorrow and sometimes it is a terrible one that makes the men and women attempt to beat their heads against stone walls, hoping that death will bring an end to their agony.

Other times she makes the flames from the torches dance their ways into the cells to lick at the terrified stubborn prisoners who have snubbed or insulted or spat at Tsuna previously.

It is one such scene that Tsuna interrupts one day and his livid reprimand and the phoenix’s miserable continence at having earned his displeasure awe all that see the diminutive boy who can so freely scold such a powerful creature.

As rumors are wont to do, they twist and grow with every repetition (even in the isolated mountain prison) and before long Tsuna himself goes from being the son of a spirit to an actual god.  A merciful benevolent god so virtuous that even a phoenix would choose death over disappointing him.  A phoenix who also happens to be his little sister with a brother complex.

It doesn’t help that Nana treats Tsubird and Tsuna exactly the same and soon Nana is the sweet but flighty apsara who had chosen to leave the heavens because she enjoyed earthly pleasures and birthed a phoenix and a fire god somewhere along the way.

Tsuna has no idea how they can even think that is possible but he resigns himself to being stared at with fearful, but reverent eyes whenever he comes in to check on them.

The one who ultimately caves in first is a man who calls himself Qiáng Yu, stating that with his failure to complete his mission, he is as good as dead to his triad and now family less.  If he were to return, he would be severely punished anyways.  He is the first man that Tsuna had kept from committing suicide that fateful night and Tsuna has stepped in to prevent at least three more attempts from him alone since then. 

Once he breaks, he reveals that some others (mostly children) had already been taken captive not too long ago, but his boss had wanted more to ensure their compliance. 

Kyouya wasn’t particularly a high priority hostage. He was, however, a more isolated target than the others being in Japan instead of China where most of his relatives were.  In fact, his mother was a Hibari having essentially been sold into the Hibari family with her arranged marriage for a great deal of money, but the fact that her husband had an incredibly kind and tolerant side for her meant that she was free to do what she wanted, go where she wanted, and see who she wanted so long as she gave him an heir.

This meant that she spent more time in China or wherever she was needed to run her business and had kept much closer relations with the Triad.  Hopefully enough that they would agree to demands in exchange for the safety of her son.

At this revelation Tsuna’s sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in the futile hope that it would stave off the impending headache. 

No such luck.

“Oh for the love of…”

Kyouya himself doesn’t really care for the relatives that he has never seen, much less met, but the prospect of a promising (fun) battle (slaughter) quickens his pulse in excitement.  Meanwhile, Kusakabe heads off to begin making preparations for the DC who will have to go with minimum contact or orders from their chairman until this matter is taken care of. 

Tsuna is left with a flat but resigned look on his face as Tsubird crows gently, letting him know that she will go along with whatever Tsuna wants no matter what the others might think.  Of course there is really no choice.  He can’t leave those hostages to their fates in good faith.  They will have to mount a rescue mission and knowing what he does about his friends and his luck, it will be a successful but spectacularly embarrassing and troublesome ordeal that he will never ever live down.

Despite the fact that the Hibari household has become a hive of movement and purpose in the effort to root out the source of the attack, increase their defensive measures, and deal with the prisoners, Hibari Hiroto and Xui-Yan still make time to sit down and watch a recording of the fight inside the Sawada house that is projecting onto a blank white screen.

Their imposing presence makes Irie nervous no matter what they do and he looks like he might begin throwing up after prolonged exposure without a serious job to take his mind off of his fear, but with Tsuna’s reassurance and a shield of other rambunctious children and birds, he calms down enough to set up the homemade movie theater in one of the many empty rooms in the compound.

He skips forward past the hour they had begun playing Namimori Zaibatsu to just before the first assailant appears. When it shows Kyouya reverting to bird speech as he begins breaking bones, his parents throw him exasperated looks.  Their son belligerently refuses to apologize.

“What’s he saying?” Kyoko wondered aloud.

“Probably something about being bitten to death for interrupting our game.” Supplied Hana who ignored the glare she was receiving. “You know how he is.”

“You’re pretty close Hana. It’s more along the lines of ‘These preys will be eaten.’” Translated Tsuna. “For invading my...territory.” 

He may still not understand bird-speech all that well, but Tsuna could say that he was now fairly proficient in Hibari Kyouya-speech and it was getting easier to translate them both into something resembling a normal human sentence.  Then he blinked and realized that everyone was staring at him.

“What? What did I sa-…oh.”

 “You can understand bird talk too? Extreme!”

“Are you serious?”

“Hahaha! That’s awesome Tsuna!”

“Hahi! Teach Haru too!”

“It’s…not quite that simple. Birds don’t have the same words or ways of thinking as humans and different species are…well, it’s almost like listening to two different dialects like a Tokyo native versus someone from Osaka, but the concept can still be understood.  He’s mostly using the local skylark calls though. 

Most of what I remember is him saying that he’s in a good mood.  Actually the first bit comes out as ‘moving food’ or what we would call living things like bugs or fish and the next part sounds like ‘to eat’.  The last call is really one long warning that means something like ‘intruders in my nesting grounds’ or ‘unknown beings too close to the nests’ but I’m trying to paraphrase it a bit.”

Tsuna did his best not to squirm at the appraising looks everyone was giving him.  He did a fairly good job but the rare expression on Kyouya’s face (a mix of suppressed wonderment and delight) was worth treasuring. 

Tsubird crooned proudly and nuzzled his cheek, pleased that Tsuna had inadvertently managed to make himself look even more impressive.  Not that it was hard.  He had a tendency to do so quite often but rarely ever realized it himself.

When they return to studying the video, no one notices the pleased faces the older Hibaris wear.  It’s the expression of parents who are happy for the good fortune their child has come across.  Later though, Kusakabe will sob out an “I’m so happy for you Kyou-san,” and his cousin will whack him a couple of times with his tonfa to hide his embarrassment.

Deshaun ends up working in a small bread bakery downtown on the weekends.  He starts off taking care of miscellaneous things from stocking merchandise to janitorial work and slowly makes his way to cashier.  It’s a decision made as part of the effort to immerse him into the Japanese culture faster and his most of his coworkers are college students who not only know some English, but have a love for the current popular American songs as well. 

He’s missed out on a lot during his time on the island and there are a lot of new artists alongside some familiar ones but he’s thrilled to hear them all the same.  In those long months, Deshaun had resorted to singing and talking about whatever, whenever and wherever he wanted.  Anything to stave off the loneliness and despair of being the only trace of civilization there.  It’s a habit that’s died down but not out and when Tsuna finds out (as he inevitably does about everything pertaining to his friends), he has Shouichi make a music player that not only allows him to listen in to both local and satellite radios, but also hold over a terabyte of memory for anything he wants.

Deshaun starts downloading all his favorites instantly and Tsuna will sometimes come home to find the man dancing and singing as he’s dusting the house or washing the dishes.

“Jump up and down and move it all around.  Shake your head to the sound.  Put your hands on the ground.   Take one step left and one step right.  One to the front and one to the side.  Clap your hands once and clap your hands twice and if it looks like this then you're doing it right.”

Tsubird swings her head and waves her wings as she dances along and Tsuna is glad to see that she wasn’t bored (which usually results in a bloody anti-littering crusade across Namimori) while he was in school.

 “A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side, a little bit of Rita is all I need, a little bit of Tina is what I see…”

“Tsu tsuu tsuu tsuu tsuu tsu tsu~...”

He’s not so sure how he feels about her crooning along to these particular lyrics in her usual whistling “Tsu~”s, but as long as he doesn’t have to worry about the people and animals she could have possibly maimed while he was gone, he guesses that he doesn’t really mind.

Shaking his head with a smile, Tsuna goes to his room to put down his book bag.  By the time he comes back down, they’ve moved onto a new song.

“Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no valley low enough, ain’t no river wide enough…”

Tsuna’s not particularly good at singing, but he’s not terrible either and because what the hell, why not?  It’s pretty catchy.  He joins them in the chorus and when Nana comes home she too learns the lyrics to Tsubird’s new favorite song.

Working in the bakery also allows Deshaun to earn an honest living.  Well, as honest as it could be all things considered.  Since he didn’t have a driver’s license and the bakery was on the other side of town, one of Hibari’s DC members would drive him there and another would follow behind in a nondescript white van loaded with more middle school boys. He doubted that whatever they were doing was actually legal or that they had licenses themselves, but at least they could read the signs without needing a translator.  That the cops also turned a blind eye to them did much to assuage his fears.  (Not really, but he was learning to go with the flow.)

Sometimes one boy would stay with him to help out with the customers (Deshaun would later learn that most of them were actually from the local crime syndicates who had recently bought out the office building a few blocks away.) while the rest went to take care of their unknown errands. When it was time to leave, they’d serve the last of the people in line and clean up.  Despite the distance, on particularly nice days, Tsuna, Tsubird, or Nana would sometimes come by and together they would all walk back to the Sawada household.

The members of the Kinaga-kai are actually incredibly polite for people who are supposed to be part of a criminal organization and he’s even offered a business card.  They are a small group which has recently and cautiously been moving in to fill the gaps that were created under the crushing might of the Hibari’s.  Or more specifically Hibari Kyouya and Tsubird on the hunt to catch rule breakers and litterers.    

Deshaun even ends up becoming more than an acquaintance but less than a friend to the underboss, a middle aged portly man by the name of Murakami Daiki who often (not so) surreptitiously tries to get more information about Hibari’s influence under the mistaken assumption that he works for their clan. 

The first thing that Deshaun stresses is for them to clean up after themselves.  Blood stains and bodies in front of your shop is generally bad for business after all, even if a phoenix puts it there.

Spanner arrives with only a pleased grin, a single suitcase and the clothes on his back and takes an enthusiastic attitude to his new life in Japan.  With the amount Tsuna has in the bank now, it’s almost a drop in the bucket to pay for a first class ticket to Namimori from anywhere in the world. 

Especially since another rich idiot has made an attempt for Tsubird again.  Neither of the Hibari elders were in the mood to wait for a second much less third strike with the recent attempt for their child and retribution was swift and more merciless than usual.  Tsuna has to buy out a couple of warehouses to store his new assets for the time being since he’s far too busy trying to deal with the hectic schedule of his current daily life.

Spanner brushes off any questions concerning his relatives and Tsuna is not entirely surprised to find the suitcase is packed with a laptop, several random things that he assumes have to do with machinery, and the only piece of clothing in it is an old T-shirt that Spanner had been using as a rag.

 After all the introductions have been made, Tsuna shoos him off to go set up his stuff in Shouichi’s lab. 

When Tsubird, who was out of town taking in the sights of China’s landscape, returns Spanner takes it all in stride.  Despite Tsuna’s and Shouichi’s explanations about the resident firebird, he still enthuses about how Japan’s native creatures are so marvelous.  He’s looking forward to seeing other things like tanukis, people with animals ears, maid cafes, and hot springs. 

Shouichi sighs and Tsuna’s shoulders slump in resignation.  Tsubird seems to like the blond well enough as his offerings of an unlimited supply of wrench shaped lollipops make a good first impression.  It’s improved upon when Spanner adds his expertise to Shouichi’s and they whip up an ice cream maker that even Tsubird can operate without too much trouble. 

She’s completely enamored with it, but Tsuna has rules about how much she’s allowed to eat per week.  Deshaun provides the perfect loophole though as he seems to be even more in love with it than Tsubird and spends quite a bit of time testing out new flavors with a need for as many taste testers as he can get. 

Spanner’s accepted as part of Tsuna’s ever increasing circle of friends with minimal fuss and even Hibari is slightly more tolerant when he receives the new upgrades to his tonfas (retractable chains with spikes on the end that really shouldn’t be able to logically fit inside such a thin stick).  Deshaun’s just happy to have someone new that he can converse with in English even if he’s British instead of American.

The blond ends up camping out between Tsuna’s house and the lab depending on what project they are working with at the time.  Meals are provided by Nana or Tsuna and Tsubird and he finally gets to see the end results of the pachinko parlors that he had only contributed to via the internet before.

There is a no smoking rule enforced in all of Tsuna’s parlors and while this should make them less popular to particular clientele, it cuts down on clean up and surprisingly has more patrons than ever before.

The air filtration system is so powerful that one online reviewer claimed that he couldn’t even tell that the sweaty man next to him hadn’t showered in over a week if he hadn’t said a thing.  Tsuna heavily invested in a top notch janitorial team to scrub the place from top to bottom after that and had them come every day or sometimes twice a day during flu season even if it meant shutting down the businesses during daylight hours.

Free ice water and hot tea was offered, but patrons also had the option to buy other refreshments. For those who didn’t want to deal with the noise, custom soundproof headphones were offered as a free service and there was even a notification system that would sound though it at a chosen time, a major plus for people who only had a limited time to play because they were visiting during their lunch break.

It was the pachinko machines themselves that were the real draw though.  They went a step further beyond the normal bright lights and attention grabbing noises with actual holograms that cavorted about or leaned against the machine and taunted or cheered the players on.

With the numbers of parlors under Tsuna’s control, he was able to have various themed ones catered to all sorts of consumer groups.  The anime only ones were a huge hit of course, with a rotation for machines of the less popular series.  Some parlors switched from all ages to older patrons only after a certain hour with scantily clad women blowing coy kisses or nearly naked men flexing and winking at players. 

There were even tournaments where players could choose a hologram character to battle each other.  Damage and combos dealt depended on how well the people themselves did on the arcade like machines.  It wasn’t uncommon to see a Samus Aran face off against Asuka Langley or Goku from Dragonball Z unleashing a Kamehameha on Goku from Saiyuki.

Spanner can’t stop the grin from lighting up his face when he steps into what was once an underground night club and sucks in a lungful of cold clean air.  A Princess Peach waves at him before shouldering her parasol and daintily making her way up the stairs with a Sailor Moon to a stage with a lakeside battlefield where a determined Rukia Kuchiki is waiting side by side with a Tifa Lockhart who is adjusting her gloves.

It was tournament time again with the theme being all women character tag teams.

“I look forward to working for you Boss.”

Tsuna splutters and tries to say that he’s not his boss, but Shouichi apologetically corrects him, stating that since Tsuna is paying them for the things they build, technically he is.  They even have proper documentation and contracts because Tsuna needed a record of all his spending when it was time to balance his accounts and prepare reports for potential sponsors.

In the end, the only thing the brunet can do is cave to the inevitable and sign Spanner on along with the rest of his friends.  Deshaun pats him on the shoulder in consolation even as he happily thanks his ‘Boss’ for his first payment in cold hard cash (and what a generous payment it is).

He’s pretty sure no other part time worker in this town is making even half as much in a month.  He’s also pretty sure that no other part time worker in this town has to put up with even half of what he does and isn’t sure if Tsuna is trying to compensate for it or just really nice.  It’s probably a bit of both. 

Spanner also comes up with the idea for compiling all the information about Tsubird into one comprehensive database for easy reference and Shouichi bangs his head on a wall when he wonders why didn’t he think of something like this in the first place.  It is aptly named Potentially Recreational Organization Judiciously Emulsifying Core Theories for Tsubird or P.R.O.J.E.C.T. Tsubird for short.

Most of them don’t know what half the words mean much less how to spell them, but everyone usually ends up calling it PT or ‘Pete’ for short.  It makes it easy to keep the actual project under wraps as phrases like “I just checked with Pete,” or “Go see if Pete has some reference books,” sound like they’re talking about an actual person instead of their record system and they usually pass it off as a friend of Spanner’s from his native country.

The people privy to all the data are Tsuna’s most trusted friends with only a handful of adults included.  DC members were allowed to contribute additional information that had to be screened and verified first and only the highest ranked members after being put through rigorous testing and approved by Kusakabe, Tsuna and Tsubird were allowed full access as well.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“Depends.  If you think it’s an ice cream truck then the answer is yes.”

Somehow, Spanner and Shouichi had gotten their hands on some old vehicles, gutted them, and installed their newly designed energy efficient system in its place. 

The truck is a bright glossy white at the moment, but it could be repainted to whatever color Deshaun wanted and the pictures would also be added on later.

Tsuna rarely kept secrets from him, but he had wanted this to be a surprise so Deshaun went along with it.  It was nice of Tsuna to try to make Deshaun feel like he still had some control over his life no matter what the reality was. If he had said that he didn’t want to, Tsuna would have dropped the issue and never tell him about what he had planned.

“Do you like it?”

Deshaun envisions the white trucks of his childhood, their cheery jingling tunes drawing both children and adults to them like a siren’s song and can feel the hysteria bubbling up from inside.  He starts to laugh and laugh and he’s pretty sure that he’s finally cracked and everyone is staring at him in worry, but he can’t bring himself to care.

Finally he sucks in several shuddering breaths and wipes the tears from his eyes with shaky palms.

“I…when I was little…even younger than you, I wanted nothing more than to be an ice cream man.  It was my dream job.  I thought that if I become one, I get to eat as much ice cream as I wanted whenever I wants and I used to eat every flavor of every brand I could get my hands on no matter how nasty it sounded because I was convinced that I would become one and I had to know everything about them so that I could sell the best ice cream. I…I…”

He trailed off and sobered up.

…when did I forget that dream?...when did I lose track of myself and get into the sort of shit that made Ma cry?...

“You’ve been spending a lot of time trying to come up with new ice cream recipes at home and whenever someone eats it and smiles, somehow I get the feeling that that’s when you’re the happiest.  I was thinking that you could run an ice cream truck selling your own homemade recipes.  One of the first draws will be your skin color.  The next will be the handmade factor as opposed to commercially sold ice cream and finally your exclusivity as the only American run ice cream truck in Namimori.  There’s still a lot of work to do before we can get started, but it’s yours if you’d like. So what do you think?”

“I…I love it,” Deshaun sniffs and wipes away a few tears.  “I love it so damn much, Boss.”

He had never thought that he’d have a second chance at this, a second try to become someone that his Mama wouldn’t be ashamed to talk about but here it was in the form of a little Japanese boy with a boundless heart and a gleaming white truck.

It’s been two and a half weeks since the attempt to kidnap Kyouya has taken place and Deshaun has mustered up his courage to ask for a trainer in that time.  Someone who can provide proper combat instruction whether it involves blades or bare hands.  He’s been getting by on his previous scrappy anything goes style, a bit (or a lot) of knife combat training from a neighbor known as “Pissy Piscasso” (a irritable neighbor who used his artistic skills to make knock off replicas of famous paintings among other things), and the unavoidable physical exertion that comes from having to eke out a living on a deserted island, but being part of civilization again has softened him a little.  Just a little.

He has a lanky frame built more for speed than strength, but somehow he doubts that he’d be able to take on Ryohei or Kyouya even if his muscles were three times as big.  That’s fine.  He’s not going to complain.  Not when he’s come to have a new appreciation for all the little things in life.  Like the fact that he’s not the one who has to keep them in line.  That’s Tsuna’s job.

After several days in which Deshaun is tested on his reflexes, current combat style, and personal preferences, a handful of trainers are selected from the vast number of people the Hibari’s seem to have in their pockets to teach him a form of jujutsu with an emphasis on using short blades.

Two teach him unarmed self-defense and offense and another two work on his knife training.  They are professionals and intimidating, but not nearly as much as the pleased Hibari child who Deshaun is one hundred percent sure that he will be receiving many more random attacks from.

The tactical knives that Tsuna had first gifted him had been gotten from Kyouya and no one (except maybe Kusakabe) knew where he had gotten them.  They had been recovered after that night but Deshaun was told to retire them because the resident techno-wonder duo had managed to make him some new ones out of a much stronger material (the same thing as Kyouya’s current tonfa) and were constantly improving on them.

So far, they could also be used as a lighter, an ice pack, a can opener, screwdrivers, hex wrenches, a shaving razor, a soldering iron, a soy sauce dispenser and on the most recent (and most memorable) occasion a light saber.  Just in case he needed to cut through a bank vault or concrete wall for whatever reason because he couldn’t blow or bust or teleport through like everyone else.

Deshaun wasn’t sure whether he should thank them for their thoughtfulness or continue to stare at the glowing red sword that had just carved straight through a metal table like butter after he had been startled into dropping it.

Tsuna face palming and ordering them to put a safety lock on it made him feeling better knowing that he wasn’t going to accidently slice off his (or anyone else’s) body parts while digging for his keys or blocking his combat instructors during training.

‘Look on the bright side,’ thinks Deshaun as he tries to console himself. ‘I can be a real life jedi now.’

The plan to retrieve the hostages and put the fear of birds into the offending party is also coming together nicely.  Or not so nicely depending on who was asked.

Tsuna and Tsubird are naturally the lynchpin of the whole debacle.  And as usual, Tsuna’s opinions do not count when it pertains to his true feelings about anything important.

“Tsunayoshi?”

“Hello Hibari-san.”

“…”

“…”

A few beats of silence passes as Tsuna continues to stand in front of the sliding door with a lovely mural of skylarks perched on a plum blossom tree branch.  Beside him is Tsubird who fidgets in a way that reminds Hiroto of a child who is forced to wait just outside of an extravagant toy store while her mother is preoccupied with someone or something else.

“Tsuu…”

 She nudges Tsuna’s side and he absentmindedly reaches out to stroke her head.

Before Hiroto can ask what is he waiting for, the door slides open to reveal his glaring son and Tsuyoshi’s perpetually smiling boy.

“There you are!  Did you two get lost?  Hahaha! I know it’s confusing since there are so many rooms, but you’ve got the right one.”

“Hello Kyouya. Takeshi.”  Tsuna’s voice remains level, controlled, completely and utterly emotionless.

 “Tsunayoshi.  You are late.”

It’s a testament to Tsubird’s desire to join the others in whatever they are doing that she doesn’t even protest when Ryohei pops up next and hauls her favorite person over his shoulder like a sack of rice.

“Father.” Kyouya nods in acknowledgement as Tsubird slips through the doorway after them.  As the door slides shut, Hiroto notes that Tsuna’s face has not changed from that same resigned poker-face the entire time even if his friend’s shoulder must be incredibly uncomfortable digging into his stomach like that.

He won’t deny that he is curious about what the children are up to but they insist on keeping their plans of revenge a secret at the moment.  He’s also pretty sure that it involves rescuing the hostages and lots of fire and property damage.  Oh well. As long as they don’t get caught and it’s not his property, then he perfectly fine with that.

“Again?”

His wife quietly slips into the space beside him.

Hiroto gives a noncommittal hum but Xui-Yan has long since come to understand the stoic man.

“Our son…he seems so happy, so enthusiastic in these recent years.” She comments. “He has loyal comrades who are not afraid to speak their minds to him, yet support his strange ways.  What little he loves, he loves dearly and is loved in return.  He is strong and healthy and he does not break out in hives in the presence of so many as much as he’s done before.”

There is no one else in the hall and so one calloused hand finds another.  Together they walk towards the dining area.

“But more than that, he seems fulfilled.  Like he has found a purpose in his life and now wants for nothing.  He still has much to learn and much growing to do, but…as a mother, I am happy that he has achieved these things so early.”

Hiroto says nothing, but he squeezes her hand back to let her know that he understands and more than that, he feels the same.

They continue to hold hands until they reach the entrance of the kitchens where all their chefs are crowded around the closed doors, wringing their hands as the usual whispers fly back and forth.

Hiroto’s eye twitches and his wife smothers a laugh.  Sawada Nana is an unstoppable force and at times like this, it is not so hard to see how Tsunayoshi is her son.  Hiroto mind flashes back to another man who may seem laughably foolish only to reveal terrifyingly dark depths and wonders what he would think of his family if he knew exactly what Tsuna and Nana were up to.  If he even knew about Tsubird who has been with Tsunayoshi since he was six.

Then he pushes that thought to the back of his mind because it is none of his business what the boy or his mother choose to tell Iemitsu.  The man had wrangled Hiroto into keeping an eye out for any suspicious attention that would fall on his family before Tsunayoshi was even born, but there has been no need as Tsubird does more than well enough. 

However, Tsunayoshi’s opinion of his own father was low.  No. It was much worse than that.  Iemitsu might as well be dead or a stranger to him for all that he cared.  The blond should have kept in contact with his family more often instead of constantly pestering Hiroto for news.  Maybe then the young boy he and his wife had decided to take under their proverbial wings would spare more thought for his errant father.

Hibari Hiroto was not going to say a thing to Iemitsu beyond the usual monthly platitudes of the Sawada family’s continued safety.  However, he did hope to be present to witness the man’s face if he ever finds exactly what he has missed out on. 

“And now, we present to you, the guardian god of Namimori, the most merciful deity who rules over fire and birds, the one and only Tsu-sama~!”

There are huge black curtains in the back courtyard which are blocking the view of the gardens and only the creators know exactly what’s holding them up, but the entirety of the Hibari compound has turned out for the occasion and the girls theatrically bow to them after they introduce the results of everyone’s hard work.  The grand reveal has finally arrived and aside from Nana who is giddily clapping her hands over how amazing her Tsu-kun and Tsu-chan look while they cosplay, everyone who has been kept out of the loop is gaping.

Tsubird floated through the air, carrying Tsuna with her just like they had been practicing since that fateful night.  Except this time, most of Tsubird’s and Tsuna’s bodies are covered in long robes.  The parts of Tsubird that remain visible are her wings, tail feathers and neck snugly looped around Tsuna’s.  Tsuna’s face is hidden three quarters of the way by a large intricate gold and red mask with a curved beak modeled after Tsubird. 

Long extensions had been added to his hair and the feathery cascade came down to his ankles when he stood up, but when Tsuna hovered it fluttered as if several small individual breezes were caressing it.  Tsubird’s head was also carefully designated to remain hidden but close to Tsuna’s face.  It’s right on top of his head actually, nestled under a pile of artificial fluffy brown locks and her crest sticks out from the top giving the illusion that it is Tsuna himself who is sprouting them.

All the hair, both real and fake, have streaks of gold and red running through it and beads of jet, green zircon, and white jade dangle just off the side of Tsuna’s face from the side bangs.

The robes were made of several thin alternating layers of red, gold, and orange with smaller bits of black, green, and white embroidered here and there.  They were easily more than twice as long as Tsuna was tall but with the magic of Tsubird, the fabric flowed and rippled above the floor yet never revealed his feet.  The sleeves were nearly just as long and Tsuna’s small hands were concealed in their billowing depths. What was just as impressive was the sash, a shimmery golden gossamer-like thing that was twenty-seven feet in length and floating loosely over Tsubird’s wings, curving above and behind Tsuna’s head and flowing back with the rest of the robes.

The most aweing sight of all was when a corona of light radiated outward, illuminating Tsuna’s robes and sash in rainbow lights.

Tsubird brought them eye level with the adults to reveal the final touches to their surprise.

“We are nearly ready.”

It’s a simple statement spoken in Tsunayoshi’s usual tone, but Tsubird’s harmonic voice layers over them and Hiroto is unable to stop the shivers from skimming their way down his spine.  The only one that seems to be completely unaffected is the brunet who seems to have reverted to the strange state of mind that he had on the night of the ninja attack.  From the side, Hiroto notes how the rest of the humans shift restlessly as well.  If even his cherished Kyouya, who has listened to all manners of Tsubird’s calls, is so affected, what would humans who had never been exposed to a phoenix’s voice before feel? 

Inspired by the rumors that had spread about Tsuna’s supposed heritage, Tsuna’s friends had decided to expand on it.  In other words, they were going to make all of China (and the rest of the Asian underworld) believe that a deity has been angered and has come to exact revenge on the triad that had desecrated the territory (aka Namimori) and people under its protection.  

Xui-Yan’s shoulders begin to shake and finally she throws her head back and laughs and laughs and laughs, uncaring of the way the stunned people around her continue to stare.

It is a completely mad and foolhardy plan, extravagant and over the top and not without its dangers, but it promises to be great fun.  Her son has made such wonderful friends.

Tsubird had been doing reconnaissance in China for several hours every day since they had managed to pinpoint the primary headquarters belonging to their targets.  A network spanning a countless number of birds with tiny cameras provided valuable footage and information.  The hostages had been found and more birds had been directed to deliver tiny messages and cameras to them so that everyone would be able to gather in a spacious, but isolated room to be rescued on the chosen day. 

Xui-Yan was their point of contact.  She had returned to her parents’ compound in China and in the privacy of her room, Tsubird would bring her the small local birds who would later slip into the rooms of their receivers, exchange letters, and return outside to Tsubird’s side so that she could teleport them back to Xui-Yan who would then update the others waiting in Japan.

Despite her family’s demands and queries about where her information was coming from, she refused to cave stating that they had a powerful ally, but only so long as they respected its wishes for privacy.  It was not someone they could afford to alienate if they wanted to be able to rescue the hostages safely.  It was also not someone they could afford to anger lest the same fate that would befall their enemies was to happen to them as well.

“Father. Mother. I love you both and I do not wish for you to die painfully or suffer for the rest of your days, but that is what will happen if you persist.”

It’s a curious and worrisome affair when her husband provides the same answers and they begin to wonder what could possibly tie the powerful couple’s hands like this.

Something or someone even more powerful of course.  Because people will always be people, they begin to speculate and when members of the Crane Federation arrive amongst the many other branches at the behest of their head’s call, they keep their mouths shut as well even under the threat of death, because Tsubird’s ire can become a fate worse than that.  Xui-Yan later allows them to say a few words to fuel the rumors but they are not to speak the entire truth.

So they admit to Xui-Yan’s parents that they had been hired to steal something of great value from one of the residents in Namimori and had not realized that it was Hibari territory or the home of something even worse.  The terrible luck that had befallen them over a year ago was the result of angering that being, but in the end they were forgiven and their lives were even spared from Xui-Yan’s plan to execute them.

That’s when the final seeds have been planted and all they need to survive are the fertile imaginations of the people.  Playing a trick of this magnitude-on the entire underworld to boot-makes Xui-Yan more than a bit nervous, but quite excited as well.  She schools her face into neutrality with every ounce of control she can muster and does her best not to smile or laugh as the idea that something inhuman is aiding them.  It’s almost as if she was a child again, mischievous and bright eyed with the thought of getting away with a prank on her tutors or siblings.

It has been four weeks since the attack, the hostages had been prepared, and everything is finally ready.

Everyone who was going to invade the compound has a complete face mask and a custom made outfit that would give them a great deal of maneuverability as well as allow the attacking birds to know which humans to avoid.  Voice modifiers had been fitted into them to help protect their identities as well. 

Tsuna and Tsubird are fully dressed in their layers of billowy clothing and though the boy’s face is almost completely obscured Hiroto gets the impression that he’s not particularly enthused about his chosen costume.  Probably because a week ago, some had brought in the idea of adding make up and Tsuna had been forced to model a countless number of lipstick and eye shadow combinations since then. 

He’s not sure what purpose would it serve since the boys’s mouth was going to be overshadowed by the beak of the mask anyways and in place of the eyeholes were high-tech specs disguised as false eyes that would display relevant information and allow everyone to keep track of each other, but he supposed that it was part of the fun.  Even his wife had been swept up in the excitement and spent millions of yen on expensive make up that would most likely only be used once before being discarded.

A bright red lipstick, the closest that could be matched to Tsubird’s feathers, was chosen and a gold shimmer had been painted over it.  A red and gold swirling pattern had been painted around both kohl-lined eyes and across his cheeks like a fiery butterfly to match Tsubird’s profile even though Tsuna (hopefully) wasn’t going to be unmasked for anyone to get a good look during the mission.

Even the finger and toe nails on his hands and feet had been painted which was rather pointless since the robes were made to be exceedingly long to hide Tsuna’s hands and feet as well as give the illusion that they were made from something not of this earth.  He even had masterfully done fake talons capping his fingers and ornately beaded sandals that resembled Tsubird’s own clawed feet.  ‘Just in case’ as the others had said. Actually, the others had painted their faces and nails as well (even Kyouya, Tetsuya, and Deshaun) under their own disguises and Hiroto was starting to suspect that this was more to alleviate their own unmitigated curiosity about the intricacies of cosmetics than anything else. 

Xui-Yan was waiting for them in an empty reception room in her old home in China.   It was sealed off from the rest of the mansion and not to be opened except in the most dire of emergencies.  The reason for this being was the protection of everyone’s identities as the less combat oriented children will be using it as their base to provide support for the ones creating a Hell on Earth. 

Tsunayoshi was absolutely adamant about keeping his friends and family safely tucked away from the prying eyes of anyone who would try to take advantage of them and it was much harder to do so outside of Namimori.  He did not know Xui-Yan’s side of the family and thus did not and would not trust them until he had managed to ascertain them for himself. 

A sensible and wise decision.  Hiroto’s father-in-law was not the worst man in China, but he did have a lust for beautiful things.  However, he was also fairly smart and knew when not to press beyond certain limits.  His wife was strict, tiny and a force to be reckoned with as well, but not so stiff that she wouldn’t be able to concede with grace and dignity either.

Which was better than good, because while Tsunayoshi might despairingly watch over Kyouya like he was his own wayward child (and wasn’t that a laughable thought?) and always set aside some time and affection for his closest human companion’s parents as well, the same couldn’t be said for complete strangers.  He and Tsubird would utterly wreck them before they could lay a finger on their…what was the word for it?...Ah yes. Their flock, their family.

Hiroto’s lips twitched upwards, unseen by anyone else. 

Tsu-sama, the Hibari Clan’s new patron god.  Pffft.

Despite Tsunayoshi’s grumbles and protests, he was already shaping up to be a splendid one.

It is shortly before sunrise when they arrive outside of a particularly out of the way mansion owned by the Harmonious Narcissist Society.  It was half carved into a mountain, stretching out onto the border between a beach and forest at the base of a near impassable mountain range.  There were carefully maintained hidden roads for the organization’s members to use, but it would be near impossible for anyone to arrive unseen if they come normally via boat, plane, or vehicle.

Everyone’s communicators and masks are adjusted one more time with a triple check to make sure that Ryohei’s channel will be on low so as not to burst any eardrums and then Tsuna and Tsubird are flying high into the air. 

Tsubird gives a long eerie cry. The huge array of birds that have begun to fill the surrounding scenery for the last few weeks only draw cursory glances from the guards who are sleepily awaiting the next shift rotation, but now Tsubird’s unnerving call summons them all into the air alongside them and the frozen guards are too busy staring to sound the alarm.

The rest of his friends have used the distraction to take their positions.  Tsuna orders Tsubird to fly lower until they are level with the guards on the middling balconies of the mansion.  Tsubird spreads her wings as wide as she can and glows, a shining figure among the backdrop of countless shadowy birds with their backs to the rising sun.

Some of the guards drop their weapons.  Some drop their mouths.  Some back away and when Tsuna slowly lifts his arms clad in his shimmering robes to point at them, many do all three.

With the ominous red dawn that precedes their attack, things are look promising and Tsuna internally weeps about how things only seem to go smoothly for him when it involves mayhem and madness.  He brings his arms parallel to his chest, flings them out at the same time as he tosses his head back and Tsubird screams at the same time; the robes and sash whipping about as if the very air around them is agitated.  Most of the guards drop to their knees with the hands over their ears at the terrible sound.  It’s the signal to start.

The first incendiaries are flung by Takeshi which ensures that only the most skilled or alert fighters will be able to see, much less stop them.  With all the attention on the fake god, no one realizes that the ninety mile per hour baseball shaped explosives are hurtling towards the lower levels.  They do notice when they goes off though, but with Tsubird’s soul shaking cry still debilitating them, no one is in any condition to fight back.

Much of the outer parts are made of stone so there isn’t much for the flames to feed on but the small amount of oil in them still gives a source and that’s more than enough for Tsubird to take control using her mind prickling song.  Giant car sized caricatures of her own head snake their way up the mountainside mansion on swan-like necks of pillaring flames, snapping at the terrified people who start shooting back to no avail. 

Out of the smoke and dust from the lower levels, more baseball bombs are sent higher and higher, providing more fuel and more heads for the fire phoenix-hydra.

Whenever a flaming head reached a human, it would rear back to strike and give the person time to shoot until he or she ran out of bullets before they inevitably turned tail to run.  Then the head would chase them into the building itself, snapping at their heels while being careful not to light the entire building on fire.

Deshaun uses his light saber knives to cut an opening through the thick metal doors and Ryohei punches them down.  Before the echoes have stopped resounding through the halls, everyone is already charging through, taking down everyone and everything in their way with a deafening party of birds following after them.

The voice changers distort and garble their words until it’s barely understandable to a native speaker, much less someone without knowledge of the language, but there’s no denying the joy and bloodlust these terrifying beings are exuding.  They blast their way to the top most floor, paving the path for the men and women accompanying them to the place that would be hardest for someone to escape and consequently where the hostages are being held.

Occasionally, they have to wait for a fiery stream to pass as it chases crowds of people when they can’t break down (or up) another way.  

On one floor though, they bust into a room from the back sending its huddling occupants into shrieking fits of terror.  They’re ignored by Ryohei who punches out the doors, sticks his head out and quickly takes a couple of steps back into the room and out of the doorway.

A whole horde of screaming people rush past followed by a giant ball of fire with a protruding beak and head crest. The ball splits though to form a slightly smaller but no less intimidating one that enters the room and begins to chase their enemies out the back.

“God.  It’s like Pac-Man except with more fire and real people instead of ghosts.” Mutters Deshaun.

While the Hibari clan retainers are still staring at the hole in the wall with the floating fireball disappearing from view, the rest of the masked kids turn to Deshaun who switches the voice changer to his com channel.

“Okay.  Just for the record, I didn’t expect that she’d come up with-” He waves his hand around the slightly smoldering room “-something like that after one night.”  Honestly, he should have known better by now.  Namimori was constantly full of surprises and Tsubird could take inspiration from a lot of things that he had only expected people and apes to be able to do, including the video game he and Tsuna had spent several hours playing during a rare night of free time a couple weeks ago.

People are continuously fleeing out of the building like streams of ants only to be besieged by the birds still waiting outside.  When it comes to either these savage feathered beasts or the approaching heads of snapping fire though, the choice is clear and everyone takes their chances with the wild outdoors.

In the ensuing confusion and panic, it takes a long, long time to notice that several hostages have gone missing, presumably dead from the fire monsters invading their halls.

Said hostages are currently bowing on the floor in front of Tsuna and Tsubird who are still floating in what’s left of the room after their friends blew off part of the roof and mountaintop.

The flaming phoenix-hydra heads continues to crackle and hiss above behind them. There are no more targets for it to chase, but Tsubird keeps it going just in case.  It’ll die back down once she releases it from her control.

The hostages are tugged up by the men and women who have come to rescue them and everyone is forced to link hands and arms until there is a long chain of people connected to Tsuna with the exception of Kyouya who discretely latches onto Tsuna’s billowing robes in lieu of actually having to touch his unknown relatives or the rest of his (unacknowledged) friends.  God forbid that he, of all people, would have to crowd with those herbivores.

Behind the safety of his mask, Tsuna rolls his eyes, but theatrically raises his arms in the same manner that he had used to signal the attack.  His sleeves and sash flicker in the unfelt breeze, Tsubird glows like a fiber optic New Years decoration, and with a melodic whistle, the world dissolves into fire.

When it appears again, everyone is unnervingly silent still trying to process what has happened.

“My brothers, my sisters, my family.  Welcome home.”

Xui-Yan steps forth and embraces one of her favorite older sisters who gasps as she starts to recognize this particular style of décor at least, if not the room itself.

“Xui-Yan?  Ho-How? What?”

“All will be explained later.  For now, I believe you have someone to thank.”

She nods to Tsuna and Tsubird who are still floating in the air.  Tsuna’s friends have quietly lined up on either side behind him and it’s almost eerie the way they silently stand there in their fanciful clothing and ornate masks. Deshaun should be the odd one out with his height, but he stands directly behind Tsuna and is still able to see over his head.

Everyone is pretending to be servants of Tsu-sama.  Kyouya finds the position of being anyone’s underling, even a false one, to be distasteful, but he understands the need for secrecy.  He looks too much like his mother for the resemblance to go unnoticed and while he joined for the fight, he’s not exactly keen on being found out.  The last thing he wanted was for these cousins and aunts and uncles and nieces and nephews to come swarming out of the woodworks to visit Namimori and pester him in the hopes of meeting Tsuna and Tsubird, potentially destroying the charade they had spent so much time preparing.

It all nearly crumbles anyways when one of his prostrating relatives near the front of the pack can’t keep her curiosity from getting the best of her and wiggles free from her mother’s hold only to approach Tsuna and Tsubird who are floating low enough for their robes to touch the ground.

“Xiaoli! Come back!” her father hisses, horrified that his three year old daughter is being so disrespectful to their savior.  Beside him, his wife is petrified, still on her knees with an arm stretched out as if she can summon her child back through sheer force of will.

“Please.” She quietly begs as Tsuna bends down to accommodate for the toddler tugging on his sleeve.  “Please don’t…”

Around them, everyone has gone completely stiff as the rosy cheeked girl grabs the beak of the mask and begins to push it up.  Tsuna stops her though, gently holding it in place as he lifts her other hand.  There’s a dark bruise marring her soft pale skin, the result of an accidental fall onto a hard toy after tumbling off a chair a couple of days ago.  Tsubird, without needing words, knows what her partner wants and edges her head over so that a large tear can trickle down Tsuna’s face and onto the bruise which disappears in seconds.

The toddler stares and flexes her hand in awe, patting and poking the perfectly healthy spot a few times just to be sure that doesn’t hurt anymore.  She stares up, unable to see her healer’s entire face, but the kind smile gracing his painted lips makes her smile back.

Xiaoli pushes at the mask more insistently and pouts when Tsuna refuses to let it go any farther.  Instead she tries for a different route.

“Xiaoli.” She says pointing to herself. “Name?”

Tsuna doesn’t need to know Mandarin to understand what she wants.  He’s just not sure if he really wants to use the name his friends have been calling him, but when the little girl insists again, he gives in.

“Tsu-sama.”

The words are quiet but Tsubird’s voice still overlays it, raising the hairs on the backs of everyone’s necks even if most of the room can’t actually hear them.  Bright brown eyes are staring up as if unable to comprehend what she just heard so he repeats it while pointing to himself.

“Tsu-sama.”

It’s been several hours they first started the rescue mission, the adrenaline and incredible focus have faded and Tsuna is hungry.  He’s pretty sure that having a growling stomach isn’t a very godlike trait so he has to wrap this up quickly.

Standing up with the child, he glides over to her frozen parents and hands her over to their waiting arms.  When they notice that her bruise is healed and she is completely unharmed, they turn their wide reverent eyes towards him and bow again.

This all feels so incredibly awkward and Tsuna is more than ready to just grab his friends and go home.  Xui-Yan is staying for another week to settle things before she returns to Namimori, but he and his friends still have school on Monday and there’s some homework that needs to be finished.  Nevermind that they were both busy causing mass mayhem, Kyouya won’t let Tsuna slide by without protest.

As he turns to leave, little Xiaoli waves and calls out an adorable “Bai bai Tsu-chama!”

The robes do wonders to hide his stiff frame, but Tsuna can tell that most of his friends are either smiling, smirking or holding back their snickers behind those lavish masks of theirs.

As the legend will go, a young boy going by the moniker of ‘Skylark Among the Clouds’ had the ability to speak the language of the birds from the moment he was born.  He unexpectedly met a deity one day and was able to communicate in the tongue the rest of mankind was not privy to.  They secretly became friends and would often play together.  One day, enemies of the boy’s family came to steal him away, enraging the deity who vowed to hunt all who would dare to harm his friend.

There is a massive attack with so many birds filling the air that they blot out the sky and at their head is a resplendent humanoid figure with wings of made of flames and tail feathers more beautiful than that of any mortal bird.  Wherever the being flew, rainbows trailed behind its celestial robes.  Untamed hair alit in fiery light flickered from behind a striking beaked mask that some would later claim was fitted to hide its true face which was allegedly either so beautiful that all who saw it would instantly fall in love or so terrible that any mortal who gazed upon it would descend into madness.

The compounds, houses and other buildings belonging to a certain triad is not only besieged by birds, but also burned to the ground by a monstrous being made of flames and phoenix heads. Ashes, several inched thick, coating all the grounds it lays waste to.  Surprisingly there are no deaths, but the surviving members are plagued with infamy for the rest of their lives and most end up changing their names in an effort to hide their pasts.

The tale known as “The Burning of the Narcissists” becomes a story told to warn against becoming too ambitious and greedy amongst the triad Xui-Yan heralds from.

In the official version, the belief that a certain area in Japan is home to a deity spreads across the Asian underworld.  Anyone who disturbs the peace of this small unknown region would face the wrath of a mysterious god who rule over birds and fire, who is both just and merciful even when angered, who is the child of an apsara and a kitchen god or a fire spirit or even a phoenix.  Here the rumors get a bit muddled, but it is generally agreed that an apsara birthed him as one of the items worn by the being seemed to be the iconic flowing sash depicted in the ancient murals of the spirits.

When the deity speaks, its words are suffused with a harmonious trill that can either bring pleasure so great that a human could have claimed to have heard the voices of those in heaven or pain so terrible that a mortal would be driven to madness to all who listen.

When the deity cries, its tears can heal all wounds, cure all poisons, and even bring back someone from the brink of death.

When the deity laid its hands on a human and was lied to, the person would be burned, forever branded as untrue and treacherous. 

When the deity laid its hands on a human and was answered honestly, the person would be allowed to experience the deity’s gratitude in the form of a pleasurable inner warmth that would last long after the deity had gone and bring them good luck for as long as it lasted.

Tsu-chama, the Merciful Phoenix God, as it is come to be called.

The only thing the Hibaris would confirm was that to their knowledge, the little god could either be male or female or even both.  Or neither.

Tsuna’s not too thrilled about it but is at least grateful that Kyouya’s parents are sensible enough to try to add to the confusion and mystery.  Tsubird’s feathers are distinctive and she has been coveted by other people for years.  It’s only a matter of time before someone manages to connect the dots, but for now, he’s still Sawada Tsunayoshi, one of the many elementary school students of Namimori just barely making average grades who just happens to have a beautiful, but vicious pet bird.

With enough luck and time, the rumors will twist so that Tsubird will be the sole deity who is able to change forms at will.  With even more luck, Tsuna will have made it through middle school by then.  Of course he knows that he’s not going to be that lucky (he never is), but it can’t hurt to dream.

In the meantime, he has other things to worry about.  Like what to do with the eighty-seven unemployed prisoners who are currently prostrating themselves before him.