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“Michael, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying you should kiss me.” Mike has his hands resting on his knees, arms outstretched and elbows locked. He’s the epitome of timid charm and familiar anxiety.
“In your house?” Will says incredulously, his voice sinking to a harsh whisper.
“It’s only Nancy upstairs. I think she’s going to the mall or something– Jonathan stayed after dropping you off and I think I heard Steve on the phone or something. Either way, it’s just Nancy. And she hates the basement.” Mike rolls his eyes and shrugs. He’s trying to be so casual and Will isn’t blind to how much his knee is bouncing. He’s scared they’ll get caught again too. Last time it was only holding hands; it was just the suspicion they got confronted over, not lip-locking proof.
“We said we wouldn’t. Not in your house again.”
“Will, we’re in high school. I’m pretty sure that means we can do reckless things in my basement.” Mike huffs but the exhale is shaky. Will reaches over and touches his hand. They’re trying not to fold to the fear.
“Michael… I don’t know.” Will isn’t really rejecting Mike, and he knows that. He’s trying to rationalize and validate their own need to “break the house rules”.
It still feels wrong when he’s with Mike, just in those little moments when he thinks he’s never been so happy in his whole life. And then everything hurts for a split second before Mike smiles at him, and Will reminds himself that there’s nothing more to life than the joy between them. At least, not at the moment.
“We’re going to the movies later, and I won’t be able to kiss you then. I won’t even be able to sit directly next to you in the theater. And I heard the movie is super scary… I won’t even be able to hold your hand.” Mike is practically batting his eyelashes. Will starts laughing and lifts his hand to Mike’s face, already leaning in.
“You’re saying that like I’m the one that’s always scared.”
“Excuse– You always–”
“Just kiss me, Michael, before I change my mind.”
Mike didn’t try and get the last word– for once in his life– and leaned in to meet Will. It was a gentle kiss– more like a graze. They started laughing quietly against each other’s lips the moment they touched; fear was so funny when they were standing on top of it.
In a pulse of unfounded bravery, Mike reaches over and places his hand on Will’s knee. It’s nothing more than an extension of his space around Will. His arm is diagonal across them both, keeping their laughter to themselves and their world miles away from the commotion happening upstairs. Will redirects his eyes to look at Mike’s hand, laughing at the ridiculousness of the simple touch feeling so outrageously extraordinary. Mike laughs, or at least tries too; he misses Will’s eyes already. Moment’s like this are rare but it’s all they have.
Secretly, Will is afraid to look back at Mike because it’s always intimidating; it’s hard to acknowledge true love and light, and look at it like he’s worthy. But he tries. And Mike always smiles back.
“Michael…” Will starts, his breath catching.
“If you joke about leaving room for the holy spirit again I’m going to push you off of this couch.” Mike mutters, echoing his mother’s scolds to Nancy.
“No… No.” Will shakes his head and moves his hand, his fingers splaying out to grip Mike’s face better. It’s like he’s afraid he’ll drop him– he’ll slip right through his fingers. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Will.” Mike takes it in such stride– just like he did the first time– and reminds Will why he trusts all those happy feelings he questions and has been told to question. They’re real. They’re safe. They’re in love.
Mike leans back in to kiss Will and it’s like moving in slow motion– it always is after Mike tells Will he loves him. Loves him too. It’s returned and it’s not some dream Will’s been stuck having for years. There’s no real way to explain it– Will’s been trying for years to tell Max– but when Will’s eyes close and he feels himself float away, he also feels spectacularly grounded by the warmth of being beside his best friend.
“I love you.” Will says again. “I love you so much, Michael.”
“I know, I know.” Mike mutters, trying to assure Will and the overwhelmed shake in his voice. “I do too. I love y–”
“–you shitheads better not be hiding from me! I want to see my favorite little monsters!” Steve’s voice barrels down the staircase and rattles their private corner. Mike tries to scramble back, but Will’s hands grab onto his arm out of sudden panic. Steve ducks his head down to see more of the room before he even takes most of the stairs and finds them. His eyes lock right on Mike’s eyes, then Will’s, then Mike’s hand resting on Will’s knee. He stops. “Oh. I– I’ll go then.”
He turns to leave and Mike feels the relief of privacy, but Will reminds him of the suffocation of terror.
“Mike, you have to do something. Do something now. Don’t let him– Steve! Steve, wait!” Will cries, nearly falling off the couch as he tries to stand. He’s chasing after their secret. Like he deserves the punishment. “Steve, wait.”
“What?” He backtracks and Mike can visibly see Will’s chest heaving and his heart nearly pounding through his ribs. He tries to stand but can’t feel his legs. Steve sounds too quiet. He’s distant. “Why do you want me here? I was gonna leave. Leave you two.”
“Steve, wait. It’s not what you think.” Will spits, hands reaching forward but if only to push any swinging fists away.
Steve puts his hands in his pockets and steps down to the basement floor. He looks at Mike, eyebrows furrowed and lips rolled in. He rolls them out with a pop. Mike thinks he’s going to die.
“Not what it looks like?” Steve repeats the phrase like it’s foreign to the situation. Like there is no room for interpretation. “What doesn’t it look like?” He lets out a short, exhale of a laugh. “You weren’t giving him mouth-to-mouth. I mean, it’s kissing. That’s what it is: what it looks like.”
Steve’s nonchalance makes Mike feel like he’s already dead. He can’t place the level of prejudice Steve is speaking with. It almost feels like none… but that can’t be right. He looks uncomfortable.
Mike can’t imagine it’s only because he accidentally walked in on them. It has to be because it’s two boys. Two boys doing what they aren’t supposed to, after being told not to. Steve’s trying to re-calibrate his opinion of them, Mike knows it. He’s uncomfortable because he’s grossed out. He’s stirring with repulsion and–
“I’m not going to yell at you, if that’s like, what you’re waiting for me to do.” Steve says finally. “I’d actually much rather not be standing here in front of you. You guys deserve some privacy and I’m sorry I ruined it. I– Shit guys, I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” Will repeats it, but it’s also mostly an impulse.
“Yeah, if I had known and Nancy said you two were in the basement, I wouldn’t have come barging in. I would have called you up.” Steve widens his eyes and nods his head to himself. “I know what ‘hanging in the basement’ means.”
“We weren’t doing anything.” Will’s still trying to do damage control, but Steve doesn’t seem to be try to cause any destruction.
“Will, you don’t have to lie. I’m not mad you two are being teenagers.”
“We’re two.. two men.” Will says it as it Steve doesn’t know. As if it he needs to shout the truth at the fear swarming them. Like it’d save them again.
“I know.” Steve says slowly. “I do have eyes.”
“Please don’t tell anyone.” Mike begs quietly. His knees crack as he pushes himself to stand. Will turns and reaches for his arm, as if he’d fall back down. “Steve, please.”
”T-Tell anyone?” Steve sounds offended. “Why the fuck would I do that? You think I want you two… strung up by your feet on the nearest electrical pole?” Will’s slides down Mike’s arm to his hand. Steve looks genuinely distraught. But for a far unexpected reason. “God, who would do that?”
“M-My dad said if he saw us again he’d tell my pastor.” Mike whispers, glad Will’s already holding his hand.
“Oh my God… No. I’m not doing that.” Steve shakes his head and sighs. “I can definitely keep a secret. And this is just about the most important one.”
“It’s that bad, huh?” Will says.
“No. You’re not. Everyone else is.” Steve responds sharply. “If you need anything, you have my apartment’s phone number, right?”
“It’s on the fridge I think?”
“Hopper has it on the wall by the phone.”
“Do you have my address?” Steve asks, already digging through his pockets. He pulls out a mint wrapper and a golf pencil. “I’m giving it to you.”
“W-Why?” Mike steps back and pulls Will with him as Steve steps forward, leaning on the coffee table.
“Because if you need somewhere to go, the key is in the pink flowerpot by the door.” Steve doesn’t even hand the paper to them. He reaches forward and tucks it into Will’s hand quietly.
Steve’s reaction seems like an over reaction, but it’s comforting. All the anxiety and fear of entrapment and no escape is reflected in the resources Steve extends at a moment’s notice. It’s not just them that feels afraid– it’s not just them who see it. Other people do too, people that care see it and want to help. Will and Mike told each other they would keep their relationship a secret, and it had kept them safe somewhat so far, but it had also kept them from finding the people who had the capacity to accept and love them.
“Thanks, Steve.”
He stops before going back for the stairs. “I know… I know I just walked in on you two probably being disgusting gushy lovebirds, but…” He laughs and shakes his head, like he’s erasing an image. “I want you to know that I’m being serious. Be careful.” He smiles. “And keep your hands to yourself.”
“No promises.”
“Michael!” Will turns and slaps Mike’s arm. “He’s our old babysitter.”
“Careful, Wheeler. Don’t upset a Byers like this. You won’t win.” Steve smiles and his eyes squint, even in the dim basement lighting. “Glad I got to see you guys. Sorry for the.. sorry for calling you shitheads while you were making out.”
“We weren’t!” Will cries.
“Yeah yeah, okay. Whatever. Just know it’s already three and your parents come back in a few hours. Make it quick.” Steve says, ascending the stairs. “I’ll tell Nancy you’re busy.”
“We’re not!”
“We’re not?” Mike teases, looking at Will.
“We’re not.”
“You sure? Don’t want to try making out, maybe your brother will come by next.” Mike says and wraps his arms around Will, pulling him in and pinning his arms between them.
“Oh yeah, that’s how I want to come out to my brother. With your tongue in my mouth.” Will ducks his head and tries to pull away. He’s not really trying though. “Maybe we should just stop trying to be private anymore– keep all the doors unlocked, sit in broad daylight.”
“Yeah, maybe I’ll just take you to the prom too.” Mike teases, tightening his arms around Will and swinging him around.
“Pin your little boutonniere on. Kiss you right as your mom takes a picture… Yeah, that’ll go well.”
“Maybe Jonathan can take the picture instead.” Mike offers, gently placing Will’s feet back on the ground. “We can get pictures, just for us. I want to keep it behind my driver’s license.”
“So when you get pulled over again for speeding you can brag about me to the police officer?” Will slides his arms around Mike’s waist. They start swaying but there’s no music. There never needs to be.
They realize they’re alone, but at least alone together. There are moments they know they will never have and things they’ll have to keep secret until they are both old enough to forget them anyway. As much as love isn’t meant to be isolated, hiding has left all the space between their walls for it to grow. Sometimes there were cracks. But it wasn’t always a full demolition. Sometimes, their walls got a window. A little pane of glass they could safely see through to a familiar, grinning face: an old partner in highly illegal crime. They wouldn’t share their love with Steve– or maybe they’d share if only to be able to have another person with a right mind know that it was real. It wasn’t a dream after all– despite so much of it being a nightmare.
“Are you worried about Steve?” Mike asks softly.
“No.” Will shakes his head. “In fact, I don’t feel very afraid of anything at the moment.”
“Will, what are you suggesting?”
“… I think you should kiss me.”
“In my house?”
“In your house. In your living room. Maybe your kitchen. Wherever and everywhere.”
“Except maybe in front of Steve Harrington.”
“Especially not in front of Steve again.” Will laughs and lifts himself up onto his toes to kiss Mike. “Wanna go upstairs and watch them drive away before we come back down stairs and attempt anything more romantic than flipping through old character sketches?”
“Yeah, let’s go.” Mike says, hoisting Will up again.
“Michael! Put me down!”
“No! I’ve captured the long lost prince! I’ve found him!” Mike swung Will around again, making sure to grip his back and sides tightly. Will laughs by doesn’t fight against him; he feels secured and safe. Still does.
“Mike- Michael, I’m gonna get dizzy!”
“You are my captor! I must escort you around the castle.”
“Stop being a dork and put me down.”
“Only if, you say the magic words.” Mike says with a coy smile. He’s thinking of three– but Will has a lot more.
“I’ll let you put your hand on my leg again if you put me down.”
“Hey! What did I say down about that!”
At the sound of Steve’s voice, Mike’s arms loosen and Will slips ungracefully back to the floor, stumbling back and catching himself on the coffee table. He huffs and pushes his hair out of his face.
“DAMMIT STEVE!”