Archive of Our Own

Yu felt Yosuke’s foot tapping against the back of his chair, that specific little tap-tap-tap that usually meant he wanted to pass him a note. He dropped his arm down by his side, and surely enough, a moment later a piece of paper was slid between his fingers. He wondered what this one would hold as he brought it up to his desk discreetly; Yosuke’s notes could be the highlight of his day when classes were particularly dull, on days like today where even his teachers’ strange getups weren’t enough to distract from how boring the material was.

The notes ranged from serious tactical planning for their next TV world trip, to silly doodles, to hilarious jokes that strained the limits of Yu’s poker face. He kept his favorites, like the sketch of Izanagi and Jiraiya having a picnic, or the haiku about how much the english language sucked, pinned up above his desk at home next to the picture of him and Nanako. They never failed to make him smile as he did his homework or worked on his translation job.

This note, like all the others, had a large P written on it — P for Partner, as Yosuke’d explained when he’d asked, as if Yosuke ever passed him notes for anyone else in class. He unfolded it carefully and bit his lip to keep from smiling.

The note was typical Yosuke silliness, engineered primarily to try to get a rise out of Yu; he kept saying he’d manage to make him laugh at least once, and Yu had to admit he was getting closer every day. It was decorated with little hearts and flowers in sparkly gel colors Yosuke had probably stolen from Chie. He’d even drawn two little kitty faces on it, a happy one by the yes option and a pouting one by the no.

He checked the yes box with a heart; of course he liked Yosuke. They were best friends, after all. He added a little smiling frog next to the cat, and passed the note back, making a mental note to tell Yosuke after class that he’d have to try harder next time if he really wanted to get him in trouble in class.

Yu forgot about that specific note again until an evening a few weeks later, as he laid sprawled across Yosuke’s bed after a particularly intense session of TV world planning. Yosuke was using the bathroom, and Yu had taken the opportunity to take over the entire bed. He stretched, sliding his hands under Yosuke’s pillow as he did, and felt a folded paper there which he grabbed without thinking about it. When he brought it out, he saw the customary P on it marking it as one of his, and curiosity won out over his respect of Yosuke’s privacy.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw the little hearts, the kitty faces, the question he was now realising might not have been meant as a joke and his own response. The note was wrinkled and soft, not like it’d been crumpled up but rather like it had been handled many times, the paper beginning to tear at the fold lines and worn nearly raw where he’d drawn a heart in the “yes” box.

That Yosuke saved some of the notes he sent wasn’t so strange; after all, so did Yu. But this specific one, under his pillow… Yu would have had to be a fool in more than the Arcana not to understand what it meant. He stared at it, unsure what to do. Was he supposed to talk to Yosuke about it? Hey, so I think you like me, but no worries, I’m cool with it! Let’s keep being friends! Yeah, that wouldn’t be awkward at all.

He heard the toilet flush and folded the note back up in a hurry, shoving it under the pillow instants before Yosuke walked back in. He’d just have to act like he always had; it was Yosuke’s secret to tell if he ever felt comfortable enough to, and it was worth hiding what he’d found out to protect their friendship.

It was one thing deciding not to act any differently, and quite another actually doing so, though. That summer, Yu found that he couldn’t stop thinking about his best friend’s feelings. Every time they fought side by side in the TV world, he wondered if Yosuke was consciously making an effort to stay by his side. At team meetings, he kept looking at Yosuke to check if he was looking at him, both of them glancing away guiltily as their eyes met every time, to the point that in one meeting Chie asked if there was an inside joke they weren’t sharing. He analyzed every text message he got for a hidden second meaning, and he even started keeping track of when Yosuke was in town in the evening so he could make sure to drop by, just so he could see if the way he smiled when he saw him was any different from his normal smile.

It was their trip to the beach that really confirmed it for him, though. When they’d peeled off their shirts in the hot summer sun, the girls had immediately covered themselves in sunscreen. Rise had jumped at the opportunity to help Yu get his back, but he’d noticed Yosuke about to jump in the water without putting any on.

“You should put some sunscreen on, you’ll get burned. Come here, I’ll help you,” Yu said, waving Yosuke over. He didn’t even think about how his best friend would take the suggestion until he saw the faint blush on his frozen face. Shit, he thought. He hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable.

Yosuke gave a clearly forced smile as he walked over. “Ah, right, partner! Good idea!”

His friend’s shoulders trembled just a bit as he turned his back towards him. Yu felt like the worst sort of friend, but he couldn’t very well back out at this point. He squirted sunscreen onto his palm and carefully placed his hand on Yosuke’s bare back, who started at the touch.

“Sorry, it’s kind of cold,” Yu said, trying to give him an excuse.

“Ah, haha, yeah, it is,” Yosuke replied with an awkward chuckle.

Yu applied the sunscreen as quickly and efficiently as he could, but even so when he was done he could see Yosuke’s blush spreading all the way to his shoulder blades. His own face felt strangely warm for some reason. Before he could think about it any further, though, Chie yelled for them to hurry over and he ran off to dive into the waves, the shock of cold water effectively wiping the heat off his face.

That evening, he laid in bed awake, unable to stop smiling. He really wasn’t sure why it made him so happy to have finally gotten proof, or at least as much as he was likely to get, of Yosuke’s feelings. It was flattering, he supposed; Yosuke was a stylish guy with good taste, so if he liked him, that was quite a compliment. Why it hadn’t felt like this when he’d found out Rise or Yukiko liked him was a mystery — one he didn’t bother expanding too much mental energy on, preferring to focus on remembering the way Yosuke had blushed beneath his hands as he rubbed his back, or how his eyes had kept tracking back to his chest when they played volleyball.

Fall came, and with it their return to class. The school trip to Gekkoukan was coming up quickly, and before they left Yu was determined to get a good training session in. They’d slacked off quite a bit that summer, distracted by topsicles and beach trips after clearing the Void Quest, and he wanted everyone in top shape in case anything happened during the trip.

He was pushing everyone hard as they made their way back through Mitsuo’s dungeon, but it was going well; the summer spent together seemed to have built up their bonds in a very beneficial way, as they suddenly found out when, to everyone’s surprise, Chie and Yukiko launched a conjoined attack using both of their personas which efficiently finished off a particularly strong shadow.

While the girls cheered over their newly found skill, Yosuke stood panting, hands resting on his knees.

“Partner, you think we oughta call it a day? Starting to get pretty run down over here…”

Yu frowned, focusing on his team. It was true, everyone did seem rather low on energy, but he could feel that strange tension he’d come to associate with an impending persona power increase. He also wanted to see if anyone else could land that double attack Chie and Yukiko had just done. He closed his eyes and called out to Rise.

Rise?

Yes, senpai?

Do you think we can handle clearing out this floor before we head home?

Hmm… Let me scan for strong shadows. There was a short pause before her voice filled his mind again. Seems like you’re fine for now. Everyone’s tired, though, make sure you don’t challenge any big ones!

Alright. See you soon, then, Yu replied before blinking his eyes back open.

“We’ll finish off the rest of this floor and then head back.”

Yosuke seemed like he wanted to say something, but he shook his head a bit and stood up straighter. “Alright then, partner. Let’s go!”

The next couple of shadows were quickly dispatched, but the one after that was another story. A strong main shadow surrounded by smaller ones knocked half the team down in one blow, then kept dodging their attacks as the small ones hassled them and wore their health down. Everyone was running on fumes, and Yu decided to call for an attempt to escape when he realised the next blow was likely to take out whoever got hit. Before he could open his mouth, though, he saw the larger shadow preparing its attack — there was no way they’d run fast enough.

Then it turned towards Yosuke, and it seemed like time froze. Consciously, Yu knew that all Yosuke really risked was a temporary death; revival beads, or his own recarm skill, would have him standing back up soon enough with only a headache to remember the experience by. But as he saw the shadow leap towards his best friend, he could only picture his lifeless body laying on the ground, never getting back up again — never meeting his eye and blushing again, never putting an arm around his shoulders and calling him partner again, never hugging him… holding his hand… kissing him…

There were better places for having these sorts of epiphanies than the middle of a battle. There were also better reactions than to mindlessly shove someone out of the way of an attack that they were strong to, and you weren’t. Yu contemplated both of those facts with a groan as he regained consciousness. He carefully opened his eyes to see that Yosuke was kneeling and holding him in his arms, looking very concerned — although that concern quickly morphed into anger as he realised Yu was awake.

“You dumbass! That was a wind attack, I would have been fine. What were you thinking?!”

Despite the angry words, though, Yosuke’s arm stayed tenderly wrapped around his shoulders, cradling him to his chest. Yu smiled and reached up to grab Yosuke’s other hand where he was tugging aggressively at his hair, stilling it and pulling it down gently.

“I’m sorry, Yosuke. I don’t know what came over me.”

Yosuke blushed, jerking his hand back, but he seemed somewhat pacified by Yu’s words.

“Yeah, well, don’t do it again. You told me that Margaret lady said revival items wouldn’t work on you! I don’t want to see you dead because of me. That’s why I wanted us to stop earlier, you don’t think logically when you’re tired!”

Yu’s smile faded and he looked down, chastised. Yosuke had a good point; his thoughtless action had brought him very close to dying just then. Yosuke had already seen Saki die. What would it have done to him for Yu to die trying to save him?

Yosuke pulled him the tiniest bit closer before letting him go with a sigh. “Look, let’s just go home, ok?”

Yu nodded, already feeling colder for the absence of the arm that had held him, and dug in his bag for a goho-m.

Yu had worried that the team would be angry with him, but they only seemed worried, insisting that he get home right away to rest. Yosuke even walked him home. However, any trace of exhaustion Yu might have felt earlier had been completely wiped away by the fire that seemed to burn inside him as he watched his best friend walk beside him — his partner, his partner, and if he was lucky maybe soon that word would mean even more to them.

Yosuke left him on his doorstep, making him promise to text when he woke up, and Yu quietly slipped inside and up to his room, where he proceeded to completely ignore his friends’ order to rest by staying awake late into the night, grinning like an idiot at his ceiling much like he had after that day at the beach.

He was in love with his best friend. Well of course he was. How could he have taken so long to realise it? Yosuke was always so friendly, so optimistic, so supportive, such a smart tactician… so hot when he did that backflip as he summoned his persona… Yu pulled his pillow over his head and squeezed his eyes shut, feeling like he was going to explode from the sheer amount of emotions inside of him.

Now that he was aware of how he felt, he knew he had to act quickly. He didn’t want to run the risk of Yosuke moving on, and in any case he doubted he could keep it a secret for very long. The question was how to confess. Chocolates and flowers didn’t seem like Yosuke’s style. He was afraid, too, that Yosuke would take it badly — that perhaps despite everything he’d misunderstood, or that Yosuke still wouldn’t be willing to accept the idea of dating a guy. Anything too public ran the risk of scaring him off, and that was the last thing Yu wanted. Finally, the perfect idea came to him, and with a plan in mind he managed to doze off at last.

Class was difficult the next day, exhausted as he was. Still, he managed to stay awake, buoyed by excitement over what he was planning to do. The last class of the day finally came, and he carefully extracted the small note he’d written that morning at his desk from his pocket, slipping it onto Yosuke’s desk without turning around.

Minutes passed as he waited anxiously for a reply, growing more and more worried. Had he gotten it wrong after all? It was a short note, an echo of the one Yosuke had given him, with the same simple question and checkboxes, decorated with cat stickers he’d been saving for the right occasion. There was no reason it was taking Yosuke so long to reply — or rather there was an obvious reason, but Yu couldn’t bear the thought of it.

The rest of the class passed with no tapping at his chair, no message passed back, and Yu felt as though his heart was breaking. At last, the bell rang, but before he could escape he felt a hand tap his shoulder. He turned slowly, dreading the angry look he knew he’d find on Yosuke face —

And froze as lips pressed to his, Yosuke’s bangs tickling him where they brushed against his face. He heard gasps around them, and something that sounded like Chie yelling “I knew it,” but it all barely registered. Even when Yosuke pulled back, he stayed stock-still, mouth gaping open as he stared at his blushing, smiling, beautiful best friend.

“Yes, yes I do, partner,” Yosuke said breathlessly, slipping the note into Yu’s coat pocket and pulling him back into a kiss for which Yu finally unfroze enough to reciprocate, at least until Kashiwagi tugged them apart and sent them to the principal’s office for “inappropriate conduct.” Yu couldn’t find it in himself to feel remotely bad about it, even when he found himself assigned to classroom cleaning duties for the rest of the week.

He and Yosuke sat at the gazebo late that afternoon talking, arms wrapped around each other without a care for who might see, so it wasn’t until he finally got home that Yu remembered the note in his pocket. When he unfolded it, he noticed that Yosuke hadn’t only, as he’d hoped, checked the yes box. He’d also scribbled out the word “like” in his question, replacing it with “love,” and Yu thought he might just faint from the blood rushing into his face as he looked at it.

Before he could chicken out, he pulled out his cell phone, sending a short message before going to prepare dinner.

Yu Love you too, partner.

The string of heart emojis he got in response a short while later was nice. Not as nice as the good morning kiss he got the next day, though. Or the one at lunch. Or the one after school. Or the many on his doorstep after Yosuke’d walked him home. Clearly his worries about not making his confession too public had been unfounded, he thought as he finally closed the door behind him, already pulling out his phone to send a message.

Yu I miss you

The chime of Yosuke’s cell phone came from right outside, and moments later Yosuke slid the door open, rolling his eyes. Yu pulled him in.

“Stay for dinner?”

“Anything for you….r food, partner,” Yosuke replied with a mischievous grin. Yu swatted at him and he backed into the living room, laughing. “Just kidding! I love you and your food!”

“Say that again?”

“I love your food?”

Yu pursed his lips at him, frowning, and Yosuke grabbed his hands to pull him close.

“I love you. And I’ll keep telling you that for as long as you’ll let me, ok?”

Yu dipped his head to hide his blush, which made Yosuke laugh again, a sound he thought he’d never get tired of.

“Dork,” Yosuke said fondly, letting go of his hands to drape an arm over his shoulder. “So, what are we eating?”

Later that evening, Yu sent Yosuke up to his bedroom while he went to shower. When he walked back into the room, hair dripping in his eyes, he found Yosuke standing over his desk, looking at the note he’d added to the others pinned there.

“Aren’t you worried someone might see it?”

Yu ran a hand through his hair, feeling somewhat awkward. He hadn’t even thought about that, actually; he did tend to have friends over, and Nanako came in to wake him up sometimes. He’d just been so happy with the note that he’d wanted to put it somewhere he could look at it all the time.

“I couldn’t put it under my pillow, since I fold my futon up every morning…”

Yosuke’s sudden silence made him aware of what his words clearly implied. “I mean!”

“You saw it,” Yosuke said, more fact than question.

Yu nodded guiltily.

Yosuke shrugged. “Well, I guess it’s ok now. There is one thing I’ve been wondering, though.”

“Hmm?”

“You didn’t mean it that way, right? When you replied to my note?”

“I...no.”

“What made you change your mind?”

Yu looked at Yosuke, trying to organise his thoughts. How could he put into words how amazing Yosuke was? How the note had been the push he’d needed to realise there was more behind their friendship than he'd thought? How perfect it felt to be by his side, whether it was for beef bowls or in battle? He shook his head, stepping forward to wrap Yosuke in his arms.

“You,” he finally replied. “You did.”