Chapter Text
The dust had settled a couple of days prior. The fight had been fought, aliens had been killed and monsters had vanished. The compound was a giant warzone, with bodies of unfortunate soldiers to be collected and the air smelled like burned dirt. In the wake of the final battle, the sun had hidden behind the clouds of dust and other dirt particles that had flown in the air while they were fighting. The majority of the army was seen celebrating the end of a dark era. The Avengers, though, were left to weep.
To Peter, the sight of his mentor barely alive had been a shock. Rhodey had left him a couple of seconds with him, like he knew what it meant to him, what Tony meant to him. Surely, there was no world in which Peter Parker was supposed to live without Iron Man. When he first got his Iron Man helmet, a decade or so ago, he was the happiest kid of the block. His uncle had gifted him the toy for his birthday, in a desperate attempt to make him cling to a hero, when he no longer had his own in his life. That day, Ben had become the closest thing to a dad that he could have and even then, he had to grieve him as well. When Peter met Tony, he was a lost kid with powers that he barely understood and could handle. Tony made him the suit. He brought him in this team. He made sure to sweep his mistakes under a carpet and mentored him to become the best Spider-Man he could be. By doing so, Peter noticed his own growth, his personal growth and the man that he was just starting to become. When Peter met Tony, all he could think about was how, on a night out with his uncle and aunt, he crossed path with Iron Man and how the superhero pretended that he had saved the day. Now, Peter really could and Tony knew it, let him do so and he felt useful. When Peter met Tony, the stark difference between the armor and the guy was so important that it took him a few days to adjust: Tony wasn’t just a megalomaniac billionaire with dozens of armors. He was a nice guy, with strong parental issues and a vision of the world that he wanted to achieve. Fuck those who didn’t believe in it, he’d prove them wrong. Peter was impressed, being a fifteen year-old kid who had no idea what he wanted to do when he’d be grown. Spider-Man wasn’t really a career path he could take, more like a side job, and he wouldn’t live of it. Sure, he could join the Avengers and become a full time superhero, but he wasn’t sure that it was what he wanted to pursue. He had friends, he had Aunt May, he had a lot of things left to discover in this world and being stuck at the compound wouldn’t exactly be the top option if he wanted to get life experiences.
Some days, when Peter was supposed to be interning at Stark Industries, he’d get a text from Happy Hogan, letting him know that he was waited upon at the Stark facility. He’d usually find him in the lobby, playing Candy Crush on his phone, trying to beat Rhodey’s top scores and failing miserably. Happy would grumble a hasty hello, walk straight to the elevator and make him climb on it as well. He’d press the top button and they’d end up at the offices. Most of the time, Peter would raise a hand and Happy would silently put his phone in his palm, so the teen could unblock the level he was stuck on. Sometimes, Peter would work with Mrs. Potts, at her office. Pepper would show him how to run a multi-billions company and how a choice could induce a lot of other possibilities. She’d explain a bit of economics, how to fill in some forms and had started to show him how to fill out his taxes, for later purposes. She’d take him, occasionally, on press conferences, where he’d sit among the journalists and listen to everything. Most of the time, though, he’d end up a few floors lower and would meet with his mentor, tinkering on an armor or whatever he wanted to work on that day. Peter learned how to fix a toaster with Tony. He also learned how to code in CSS. He also hacked SHIELD with Tony, just for fun and to piss off Nick Fury. With Tony, they’d joke around and change some important shit on webpages such as the White House’s where, for a couple of hours, it said that the president of the United States of America was an old sprinkled popsicle. Usually, Tony would eat dried berries straight out of the pack, letting him steal some by pretending he didn’t see his webs sneaking into the pack to grab a few. Sometimes, Tony would declare it was pancakes day or whatever else and they’d eat in his workshop, putting crumbs all over his armors and not caring a damn bit about it. Tony became the closest thing he had to a father figure quite easily. He was there to provide advices but he also would yell at him whenever he’d let a light on in the workshop. He’d send gifts for his birthdays and he’d also be there for important shit, such as career day at Midtown High. At least once every three months, Pepper would invite him and May to dinner at the Stark house and they’d discuss about Peter’s future, possibly at Stark Industries. When May discovered the truth about the internship, she was pissed. To know that Peter was that guy in tights that she saw swinging around in town and catching bad guys was enough to send her blood pressure through the roof but discussing about it with Pepper comforted May and to know that Tony would always keep an eye on him was reassuring. Those dinners were also a way to remind May that Tony cared enough to do whatever it’d take to keep Peter safe.
Peter just never imagined that it meant sacrificing himself.
When Captain America came in to carry Tony’s body, Peter had broken down in incontrollable sobs, making everyone turn to him. Sure enough, they all had forgotten that he was barely eighteen and in fact, still a kid. He had fought so much during the last hour or so, swinging around and carrying Thanos’ gauntlet to Captain Marvel that they’d all assume the last five years had made him older. But Peter was still a kid, who just watched his worst nightmare happen. For the third time.
Peter was a complete mess, being taken care of by Wanda. Peter had met her once already, at the airport in Germany, but that was close to the only interaction he ever had with her, and it wasn’t even positive as they both were on opposite teams. They crossed paths here and there, for a couple of minutes, at the Avengers’ base whenever Tony would bring him there for whatever, but all they exchanged would be casual hi’s and sometimes, a “how are you?”. Wanda was usually not very comfortable around Tony and since Peter was shadowing him most of the time, he wasn’t her favorite person to be around. Nonetheless, when she saw him crumble on the ground, next to Tony’s now dead body, all she could do was kneel next to him and use her telekinesis to break him out of the iron suit, as gently as she could to not damage it. She had found a switch and the suit had retracted into itself on his back, but all it got her was Peter retreating into a fetal position, knees to his chest and face to his calves. He was sweating and shaking like a leaf, so she put a gentle hand on his shoulder and managed to make him sit by using just a little bit of magic enough. She hid his face in the crook of her neck when Steve carried Tony away, so he wouldn’t see his arms limping at each side of Steve’s chest and then, she let him in the capable hands of Steve’s best friend, Bucky. Bucky was strong enough to support the teen, both physically and emotionally. It wasn’t the first time he’d go through such traumatic events. With a softness he thought he had forgot by now, he wrapped his valid arm around the teen’s waist and marched him out of the battlefield, carrying the sobbing boy away from all the destruction that just happened. Bucky knew when to escape the rage and the despair, he knew how to slip away without being seen. He knew how to treat wounds from the fights and how to pretend like nothing happened. In more ways than he could understand, Bucky turned into a big brother for the little superhero on his side. If Peter was still a mess, Bucky promised himself that he’d do his best to soothe him, just a little.
Soon enough, Bucky had put Peter in a car that was miraculously still working, despite the amount of dirt and dust that it had been collecting in five years. With an expertise he wished he never had, he jammed the engine on and drove him to his hideout place in Brooklyn where he made sure that his black eye was treated and that the diverse cuts and bruises were attended. When he was sure that Peter was physically okay, he dropped him in Queens, where May was anxiously waiting out for him. For the first time in years, Peter slept in her bed that night, clinging to her like he did all those years ago, when all he wanted was his mom and dad.
To learn that Peter was now five years behind half of the world was another cut to the flesh. As if losing Tony wasn’t enough, he had to come to terms with the world moving on from them all and then reaccepting them back. The technology had slowed down a little, Peter was a bit surprised to see that his phone didn’t need an update and that it still worked perfectly. As he took a glance around his room, his screen lit up with hundreds of texts from his friends, asking if he was okay, if he was back, if he needed anything. Ned, though, knew better and called him a few hours later, sobbing about how he didn’t know that five years had gone on, letting Peter understand that Ned had been dusted as well. Then Ned asked about the battle, about how he was, about the heroes he met and Peter broke down, letting his best friend learn that Iron Man was no longer here. Ned asked if he wanted company, if he needed a friend, but Peter declined the offer, saying he wanted to go back to the compound and see what he could do to help. He didn’t tell May where he was going. He just informed her that he was leaving and he’d be home in the evening. May didn’t need to hear it to know that the Avengers GQ was his destination. He needed to be there, not just because he had responsibilities now but also because Tony was all he knew back when he first got his powers and he was the only person keeping him sane enough. In a very masochistic way, Peter needed to go back where it all happened, so he could carry on with Tony’s work.
The sky had cleared up, like it knew that the darkness was now over. In the light of day, without the alien ships blocking the sun, the scene was even more disastrous. Tony would flip if he could see this. He had spent millions building that base and to see it now in grumbles was enough to make Peter tear up. Bodies of unfortunate soldiers had been taken away and the ground was now pure dirt, mixed with dried blood. Different types of them, actually. Alien’s blood; blue and thick and almost slimy, while the red one was now turning into brown. The smell was horrendous as well: burnt earth and dead flesh was not the scented candle he’d choose in a supermarket. The precious lawn that was maintained at least once a week was a catastrophe and the building that used to house the Avengers was now everted, with barely a quarter still standing.
“This is bad, isn’t it?”
Peter jumped out, pushing a hand on his chest, trying to slow down his heart. He didn’t know he wasn’t the only one, though he suspected he would meet the guy here.
“It’s a nightmare”, Peter confirmed.
“I wish you didn’t have to see it. Tony wouldn’t have wanted that for you.”
“I know.”
Steve nodded, sadly. Pushing his hands in his pockets, he took a glance at the panorama ahead of him. There was nothing that they could do, this was way beyond their capacity but still, they were here, wishing they could do something. Wishing they could bring back at least the compound back to its previous glory. It felt like they owed him at least that. He wasn’t here anymore but he could always have this legacy of the Avengers facility in the north of the state.
“Come on, Queens. Let’s not sit on our asses, it’ll take forever to make it what it once was if we wait around.”
For five hours, Steve and Peter went through the rubbles to sort out what could be saved. With both of their super strength, it was easier. What could be put back in the far wing that had been saved by the annihilation had been stored there, Peter swinging back and forth with what Steve could give him. When the sun started to get low, they sat on the pile of rubbles and enjoyed a beer that Steve had pushed into Peter’s hands.
“I’m not twenty-one”, Peter had declined.
“I wasn’t either when I got my first one and I turned out all right.”
“You turned out worthy, actually”, Peter shrugged.
“Son, it shocked me too”, Steve scoffed.
“How was it?”
“Like electricity running straight through my veins. I understand why Thor likes it that much.”
“He’s had a bit of a rough time, Mr. Thor, right?”
“The last five years have been a trial for us all. Thor lost his brother for the third time and I guess he realized that this time, it was final.”
When Steve dropped Peter back in Queens, the teen was limping and slurring. The only beer that he had was enough to make him tipsy and thank God, May understood. Also, Steve carrying an almost asleep Peter was enough to melt her heart, for whatever reason.
Works had started the day after that at the Avengers GQ. While the Damage Control teams prepared to clear up the rubbles, the Avengers prepared to say goodbye to Tony. Peter was wearing a suit that Tony had made tailored for him a while ago and May was gonna be there as well. But it still was too soon when you were an eighteen year-old who had lost five years on Earth. All morning, Peter had acted almost robotic, tying his shoes numbly and letting May take care of his tie. He had buttoned his shirt and combed his hair, trying to forget why he was doing it. The drive to the address that Pepper had sent him had been so long that even May didn’t know what to say and Peter had spent the most of it sleeping against the window on his right side. When they arrived, May thought her GPS had had a malfunction, because there was no way on Earth that Pepper had sent them to that cabin. But the number of cars there was a proof that there had been no mistake. Confused, Peter walked up the four steps to arrive at the door and knocked, waiting patiently for someone to open to them. If actually nobody did, he wouldn’t be mad. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to go through another funeral. But sure enough, Happy opened the door, letting Peter and May enter the house.
In a way, Peter immediately knew that this was Tony’s house. Despite the wood everywhere and the severe lack of glam, the disposition of the furniture and the way it was decorated was screaming “Tony and Pepper” at him. May had baked a cake, even though she knew how bad Tony disliked her cooking, but still, she thought it was the perfect get away gesture that she could offer him. He liked to tease her endlessly about it and she’d pretend to be butthurt when really, they both knew she was terrible in the kitchen. Tony would have enjoyed the joke, she thought. Peter couldn’t find the heart to be amused, that day.
But as he caught sight of Pepper, welcoming some of the most powerful beings on Earth in her stupidly humble home, Peter got attacked by a small creature who latched onto his legs and grabbed his waist tightly. Confused beyond words, Peter looked down and saw a head full of brown hair. There were a million of questions tumbling around his skull but as soon as the head turned up to him, they all vanished away. Those eyes.. Peter could have sworn they were previously attached to his mentor. But here they were, on the round face of a barely five year-old, who was clinging to him for God knows the reason.
“Hello”, Peter croaked out.
“Hi Peter”, the little girl greeted. “I’m glad to finally meet you.”
“How do you know me?” Peter questioned.
“My dad told me all of your stories together. Come with me, I’ll show you.”
Without another word, the little kid dragged him by the hand to the kitchen, where the island was flooding with the diverse cooking and baking that the guests had brought to relieve Pepper of it. Peter didn’t have time to prevent her to do so but the girl climbed onto the counter and grabbed a frame behind different grinders and spices, managing to jump back on the floor before showing him her treasure.
In her little hands, she held a picture of Peter and Tony.
Tony had a kid. Tony had made a small human being. Peter knew, as soon as her eyes met his, but still, to see her kind-of-confirmation was making him weak. Tony was gone and he thought he had lost an important person of his life, but here she was, having just lost her dad. That was on a whole other level and he thought it was hard for him?
“Hey Queens.”
Peter’s head turned up on the left, where Steve was standing, hands deep in the pockets of his suit.
“I see you’ve met Morgan”, he smiled. “How are you sweetheart?”
Morgan didn’t answer much. Instead, she launched herself at the super soldier and climbed in his arms, where he sat her on his hip and kissed her forehead.
“There’s a lot you’ve missed. But don’t worry, this is the biggest surprise he could have for you.”
Peter nodded, silently. There would be a time for questions later, but for now on, it wasn’t the right time. So he let Steve open the way and walked around the cabin where he could see diverse trinkets that Tony accumulated along the years: there was a drawing framed on the wall that could only be Morgan’s work, and there also was a space where he could work on some tech stuff if he wanted. There was a big living room with a nice TV, and stored underneath was a serious collection of Peppa Pig’s DVDs. The room was scattered with toys that Pepper didn’t have the courage to put away, so Peter grabbed a few plush toys and put them back in the toys box. When he opened the box, though, all he found was figurines of several superheroes and in the mess that it was, he found a Spider-Man toy. The thing was in bad shape, compared to the Hulk one. A hand had been broken and glued back and the paint was chipped at several places. Clearly, the toy had been used a lot and it warmed his heart a little bit. He didn’t even have a clue that they made toys of him, but Morgan playing with it was a proof that Tony really did speak about him with her.
When Peter crossed Pepper’s path, he instantly understood that she felt bad for not telling him sooner about Morgan. She could have sent him a text, she could have called him to give him a heads up, but she forgot, amongst her grieving, taking care of the funerals and of Morgan, as well as Damage Control. She had been busy and she didn’t stop one second to think about it. There was so much to think about already..
“I should have told you, sorry Peter”, Pepper apologized.
“Don’t worry about it. She’s great”, Peter softly replied. “She showed me the picture of me and Tony.”
“He was always volunteering to be on dishes duty, even though he’d flood the kitchen with soap and water. So he put the picture there, to keep you around, I guess.”
Peter’s eyes welled up with tears. His heart was completely and utterly in pieces by now, his chest was constricting around his lungs and he could swear that his knees were hurting. Nothing was right. Nothing should be. They were letting Tony go, for God’s sake. He should be here, running around with Morgan, enjoying his daughter to the max capacity. And here they were, around him for the last time, because he really was the heart of the Avengers team.
“Don’t cry, kid. Tony would hate to see you cry.”
“I’m not crying.”
“Don’t you dare tell me it’s just allergies, Peter.”
“Okay”, he sniffed.
The ceremony was beautiful, of course. Nothing like the extravagance that Tony was used to, back when Peter got dusted. In five years, he had time to think about his way of life, about his choices, about the things he wanted from Life and what he had to do to get them. The cabin, the lack of a personal office, the lake.. Everything screamed that Tony went back to basics. Except, as always, Tony went to the extreme basics. There was nothing he could do with chill, that guy. Pepper had read a bit of a text that Tony loved a lot. Rhodey talked about his best friend, about how much of a pain in his ass he was but how much he loved him. Happy spoke highly of his boss who never really felt like his boss, but more like a friend. Steve spoke about the honor it had been to fight alongside him. Bruce or Hulk or whatever he was choosing to be called as, told them all about the work they were doing together and how Tony never really understood how much of a genius he really was. He liked to pretend that he was really smart, he was very self-deprecating, but he truly was a genius. They asked if Peter wanted to say a few words but Peter shook his head, uncomfortable and too emotional to talk to an audience. They all understood.
Pepper had found back the old reactor that she had given Tony as a gift and a proof that he now had a heart. They had put it in the center of a beautiful flower wreath and they let it float, with Morgan, on the surface of the lake. It was the best farewell gesture they could have done. And Morgan didn’t cry once, which was impressive for such a young girl. There was no doubt that she understood what was going on, she seemed to be really smart as well, like both her parents, but maybe the whole thing wasn’t quite real to her yet. It had happened just a couple of days ago, maybe she didn’t really have enough time to truly miss him yet.
The whole team was there. From Wakandan royalty to the Guardians of the Galaxy, there wasn’t a team member that was missing, apart from Black Widow, who Peter had learned had sacrificed herself as well. Clint was there with his whole family, the ceremony obviously a double pain for him. Peter didn’t know him much, he only met him once in Germany and he wasn’t even on the same team as he was. Still, he went to Clint, put his hand on his shoulder and nodded to him, letting him understand that he was sorry for Natasha’s loss. Clint nodded as well, pushing him into a quick hug and muttering a small “I’m glad you’re back, kid”. There was no other word they could have told each other. Natasha knew how much Peter meant to Tony, she had told him about it, back when they were trying to figure the whole stones mess. Clint truly was relieved to know that he was back, but it didn’t make the grieving very easier.
Peter met Harley too. They had met Tony at quite the same time, actually, but Harley was a bit older and he barely saw Tony anymore. Still, they were in touch occasionally, Tony writing him a letter of recommendation for college, making him score a place at MIT easily. Tony also had paid for his whole tuition and textbooks, as well as a small condo that Harley shared with two roommates that Tony had chosen after reading some applications. He provided them with free Internet and had gifted them amazing laptops to work as easily as possible, so in a way, Harley really did owe him a lot. It was nice to hear about Tony’s hidden good actions, as Harley had promised to never tell the press about it and Tony was generally very secretive about his generosity. Harley and him shared a lot about their mentor that day, exchanging stories from either the Stark facility or the emails they sent each other. It was nice, in a way, to have someone who understood exactly what you meant. They exchanged numbers, promising to stay in contact and then, Peter was grabbed by Pepper, who had just gone through the mandatory hand-shaking process of people paying their respect.
“I found out that Tony had something for you, in case of a dark day”, Pepper tried to explain, her voice tied in her throat. “He wanted me to give it to you.”
Peter’s first reflex was to nod again, because he wasn’t sure if his voice was even working at this point. Pepper’s hand was raised to him, silently asking him to follow her and so that’s what he did. They went back to the living room where Pepper made him sit at his desk and she activated the light board, where she typed in a series of numbers, to make a small drawer open.
“Morgan learned how to read pretty fast. He didn’t want her to stumble onto it”, Pepper let him know.
In her hands sat a white envelope with his name handwritten on it. He knew by now how to recognize Tony’s writing and his heart tightened again in his chest.
A few days ago, Tony was knighting him an Avenger. They went to space together and they fought alongside other heroes. And then Thanos snapped his fingers, making Peter disappear for a bit. A few moments after that, he was back, learning it had been five years and that Tony needed him. He lost him barely two hours later. This was a lot to process and a lot to handle. But still, he was holding Tony’s latest words to him and he couldn’t wait to have just a little bit more of him again, so he tore the paper up and took the thick stack of paper sheets out of it, eager to know what Tony had to tell him.
Peter,
If you read this, then something has happened. I’m not gonna pretend like I’m not scared of death, because, ultimately, we’re all scared of the unknown, but there’s something you need to know. I lived a mostly happy life. I got everything I ever desired and more. I lead a successful life and sure there must have been a lot of things left for me to try, but I’m happy with what I got to experience.
Don’t cry for me. I’m an old guy who used to sneeze into Benjamins. There’s no time for you to cry. The world is yours to explore, to discover, to see. But it’s also yours to protect, now.
The suits are yours, no conditions. Happy will keep an eye on you and on your training. You’re not free to go just yet. You have a room at the Avengers’ GQ is you ever want it. Ask Rhodey, he’ll show you the way to it. There’s also a bank account in your name that I put some savings on, for dark days. Pepper taught you how to handle it, I’m sure you’ll be wise. Keep on doing the great work you had started. The neighborhood just got bigger, there’s nothing to panic about, don’t worry.
Knowing you was one of the greatest experiences of my life. You truly did a number on me, Mr Parker. When you died, I swear to God, my heart stopped for a little time and that’s saying a lot for a guy who went through several cardiac arrests when he still had the arc reactor. Losing you might have been the toughest thing I went through. I wasn’t ready for it. You were just a kid, who only ever wanted to help. You have no idea how many times I’ve wished that it’d been me instead of you. You deserved a happy, long life and here I was, sitting on my ass, trying to understand that you were no more. Speaking of which: you’re such a little shit. I had to wipe my hands from your dust. Talk about traumatic!!
Telling stories about you countless of times made me realized how much I owed you. Your stubbornness and millions of questions have been an excellent training for me to deal with Morgan. Thank you for showing me how to handle a young kid who thinks they’re the best hero in town.
Speaking of Morgan: she heard a lot about you. In her head, you’re the cool guy that Daddy used to work with. She thinks I’m the coolest, of course, but you’re close second to her eyes. I swear to God, if you make me look like a tool to her, I’ll come back to haunt you big time. Don’t screw me up. Take care of her. She’s gonna need a big brother to lead her through.
Thank you kid, you’ve been the best.
I love you 3000
Tony