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See you in a minute.
It was only supposed to be a minute long.
His heart ached as he replayed his last moment with her over and over again. He remembered the excited look on her face as she said those last words to him. It’s been awhile since he’s seen her smile like that. Over the past five years, she was the only one who continued to run SHIELD to protect what was left of the world and more importantly, she continued to have hope that one day she could bring back their family - And ultimately, she did. If it weren’t for Natasha, they would have never gotten the soul stone. Her sacrifice was the only way.
Whatever it takes.
He wished he said something else - anything else.
This never should have happened. The plan was to bring back what they lost but keep what they have found. She was supposed to come back to him in one minute and he couldn’t help but feel like he’s the one to blame for the outcome. He should have pulled his rank and stopped her from going to Vormir. This was all his fault and the worst part is he didn’t even say anything back to her. Instead he smiled at her like an idiot. So fucking stupid. If only he knew then what he knew now.
“Uncle Steve.”
A tug of his fingers and a tiny voice brought him back to the present. He didn’t even realized he dazed away. He looked down and saw Morgan giving him a concerned look, her brows were furrowed and her lips in a slight pout. God. She really was a splitting image of her father and then the guilt started to kick in. He should have made an effort to come around more instead of letting his pride get in the way. Tony was family and that should have been more important than any problems that had with each other.
“Hey sweetheart.” He kneeled down and gave her a small smile. The poor little girl was too young to fully comprehend what was really going on. In her mind, her father couldn’t be here because he was too busy saving the world.
“Are you okay?”
Steve took a deep breath and nodded his head. “I’m okay.” It was obvious that Morgan was not buying it and he wasn’t sure if he did either. It’s been an emotional couple of days.
“It’s okay to be sad. I miss Auntie Nat too.” She placed her tiny hands over his face to comfort him. “My mommy told me that she helped save the world with my daddy and now they are resting in the sky.” She said it so innocently with her tiny finger pointed to the sky.
The mention of her name caused his chest to tighten. It took every ounce of his being to force the tears that were forming away because there was no way in hell he was going to break down in front of a five year old girl or anyone else at this wake.
“Your mom’s right. Your daddy and Auntie Nat were the bravest of us all. They loved you so much.”
“I love them 3000.” She said with a smile on her face. “And I love you 3000 too Uncle Steve.” She crashed into his body and hugged him tightly.
“I love you 3000 too.” He held the little girl in his arms and placed a small kiss on the top of her head. Tony can rest easy because he was going to spend the rest of his life making sure that Pepper and Morgan were always taken care.
Because that’s what family does.
Steve took the opportunity to discreetly slip away for some air. It was getting harder to breathe as more people started to arrive at the wake and he didn’t have the energy to keep pretending that he was okay because he wasn’t. It was stupid and selfish but he wasn’t sure if the ‘win’ was worth it. How could it be when he lost the love of his life?
He stared out across the water and admired how peaceful it was out here. It made him wonder if this could have been his life with Natasha - a small house, away from the city where they could settle down and enjoy a little peace away from the real world. A place they could call their own. They never really talked about that since retirement never really seemed like an option for them - it wasn’t something either of them really wanted either but if he could, he trade it all in if it meant he could have her back.
He could hear the sounds of faint footsteps walking toward the dock and glanced over to see Clint Barton. They haven’t really spoken to each other since they ported back from the quantum realm - everything just happened so fast and he wasn’t ready to talk about the details of his mission yet.
“How you doing Cap?”
“I’ve had better days.” He shrugged - not taking his eyes off of the view of the lake.
Clint nodded his head and leaned against the pole. There was a brief moment of silence as he tried to find the right words to express his feelings. Natasha was his best friend and losing her hurt like hell but she was Steve’s soulmate - that was a different pain altogether. He may not have very much in common with the Captain but he knew how painful it felt to lose everything that mattered most him.
“I know it doesn’t really matter but I am really sorry about Natasha.”
“Did she know?” Steve asked. The question has been burning in the back of his mind. It was stupid but he just needed to know.
“No.” Clint shook his head. “We didn’t know about the sacrifice until we got there.”
He nodded his head and let the words sink in. There was no other way this could have turned out because in the end, this was her only choice. Her family will always come first - that’s just who she was.
“This was what she wanted.” He said quietly. The truth seemed to hurt more.
“She would want us to move on Cap.” Clint said quietly.
“Don’t do that.” Steve clenched his jaws. “Don’t talk about her as if she’s gone forever”
“The Red Skull said that the trade was irreversible.”
“I don’t give a damn about what that bastard said. I’m going to get her back. I’m not giving up on her.”
“And how do you plan on doing that huh?” Clint sighed defeatedly.
“When I return the infinity stones tomorrow, I’m going to trade the soul stone for her life.”
“That sounds insane” Clint scoffed in disbelief.
“Is it really though? Think about it. A soul for a soul.” He could see the wheels turning inside Clint’s head as he tried to process the information.
“And what if this doesn’t work?” Clint asked quietly.
“Then I find another way. I’ve already spoken to Hank and he’s willing to produce more pym particles for me. There has to be a loophole somewhere.”
One look at him and Clint knew there wasn’t anything that was going to change his mind. Steve was right. Natasha never gave up on him and he was going to return the favor.
“If there’s anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate okay?”
“Thanks man. We’ll get her back.” Steve offered a small smile.
Because I don’t know what I would do if we don’t.