Work Text:
Steve held her body close to his as they swayed together in perfect rhythm. He remembered the countless nights he dreamt of this moment - the dance he never had the chance to have. It felt good to finally have the chance to experience this moment with the woman he loved so many years ago. They continued to dance together in silence until the song ended. She was actually the first one to break the silence.
“Tell me about the girl.” She pulled away slightly to look up at him with a smile on her face. “Oh don’t look at me like that.” She rolled her eyes when he raised a questioning eyebrow. “You’ve always been such a terrible liar.”
“What gave it away?” He chuckled softly. Apparently, after of these years, he has yet to master the art of being a spy.
“You’re happy.” Peggy said simply. If she were honest, this was probably the happiest she’s ever seen him.
Steve took a few seconds to think over his response, trying to formulate the right words to say. The last thing he wanted was to downplay the importance of his relationship with her because at one point in time, Peggy Carter was everything he had ever wanted. What they had was genuine and real - she was his first love after all but it was different now. He had to move on, adapt to modern day society. It wasn’t an easy transition but he liked to believe that everything happened for a reason.
“It took me a while to get over you Peggy and move on.” He said truthfully. “I was so lost but then I met Natasha. She became my best friend and somehow along the way, I fell for her.” The corners of his lips curled into a smile at the mention of the redhead. There were times when it still felt surreal - Captain America and the Black widow wasn’t supposed to work but it did.
“She sounds like she was an amazing person.” Peggy offered him a sad smile.
“Was?” Steve’s smile faded, confusion written all over his face. “Natasha’s alive Peggy.”
“You know her death was irreversible.”
Steve pulled away from her and furrowed his eyebrows. Something wasn’t right about this. He never told Peggy about the stones. The only thing he told her was he was from the future - nothing more, nothing less. This couldn’t be real. He took a few steps back. “You’re not real.”
“Steve. Natasha is gone. Forever.” Peggy said softly. “You have to let her go.” She took a few steps toward him as she tried to reach for him.
“No.” He shook his head.
“Steve.”
The room felt like it was getting smaller and smaller. His chest started to tighten making it harder to breathe.
“This isn’t real” he mumbled to himself as he tried to will himself to wake up from this nightmare.
“Steve.”
“Steve.”
He woke up gasping for air. His body covered in sweat. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to figure out where he was and make sense of his surroundings. A small hand gently cupped his face and his eyes met hers. Relief washed over him instantly when he saw her beautiful face. She was alive. That was just another bad dream.
“Baby are you okay?” Concern was clearly written all over her face. The nightmares started when she came back from the dead and it has been getting worse.
“Yeah. I’m okay.” He took a deep breath before running a hand over his face.
A typical response.
Steve has always been a thinker. It was who he was at the core. Whenever something happens, he shuts down and gets lost in his thoughts - rather than talking about it, he chooses to distance himself from everyone and deal with his feelings on his own terms. She had been by his side through all of the rough times and she could see him slowly crawling into his dark place.
“Talk to me babe.” She said softly as she ran her fingers through his hair and like clockwork, she felt his body slowly begin to relax under her touch. “Don’t push me away.”
Steve sighed deeply before pulling her down into his arms. His throat tightened as the words left his mouth. “I’m so scared of losing you again. It’s stupid but I can’t help but think that if I look away for too long, you’ll be gone again.”
“That explains the leave of absence.” She said with an amused grin. Steve had been adamant about taking a formal leave of absence despite her protests - according to him, it was only until she fully recovered from her injuries. It was a sweet gesture but she didn’t like feeling of being so helpless. “You’re not going to lose me babe.” She reassured him.
“I understand why you did what you did but it didn’t make it any less painful. For a split second, I hated you for leaving me.”
She could hear the pain in his voice, almost as if he was guilty for feeling the way he did. Deep down, she knew her sacrifice had taken an emotional toll on him. How could it not? It should have been a harder decision for her but it wasn’t. Honestly, in that moment, it had been the easiest decision of her life because there was no other choice - not for her. Her family will always come first. No matter what the cost.
“I don’t regret my decision. If it came down to it, I would do it again in a heartbeat.” It wasn’t what he wanted to hear and she knew that but she wasn’t going to lie to him. It wasn’t like she needed to because he already knew. If the roles were reversed, Steve would have done the same thing without hesitation.
“I know.” He looked down into her beautiful green eyes. “I just… I just never want to come that close to losing you ever again.”
“I know baby but we both knew what we signed up for when we choose to be SHIELD agents.” Natasha sighed against his body and placed a soft kiss on his chest.
“What if we retire?”
“Retire? You’re kidding right?” She almost choked out a laugh until she realized that he was serious. “You’re being serious aren’t you?”
“We have been SHIELD agents for a while.” He mumbled. “I know it could never happen but just humor me. What if we took a step back and focus our attention on training new recruits and assign the missions instead?”
This time she couldn’t hold back a laugh because now he must be going crazy.
“You and I both know that you could never sit on the sidelines.” She teased lightly.
He finally cracked a small smile and let out a low laugh. “I guess you’re right but from now on, we never go on a mission without each other.”
“Deal.” She held her pinky out and intertwined it with his.
“I love you.”
“I love you too babe.” She traced tiny circles on his chest and watched as he slowly started to ease into sleep. “...until the world explodes.”