Chapter Text
Shiro stares at his half empty tray of food, holding the heavy proteins, unable to shake the feeling that it resembled the situation he was in right now. Sendak is gone, The Paladins are okay, and the rebuilding of earth is underway. But Haggar is still out there plotting revenge, and Shiro feels her rage in his bones and in his nightmares that no one could tell him otherwise.
There is also the matter of the planets that are still under Galra Empire weighing him down with guilt. What those planets must be going under with war lords is not something he could think lightly about. Which is why the Galactic coalition has to free them and get them to join the coalition as fast as it could be done. And regardless of their choice to join the coalition or remain independent, Shiro is convinced it is their responsibility to help those planets become operable on their own without leaving them in a chaos filled freedom - id est the high protein stuff.
He looks up to see the Garrison cadets and officers busy with their breakfast, lively and high in morale after they defeated Sendak and the Komar. He also cannot ignore the empty tables around him, no one is sitting next to him, not even close by - not a single soul. Everyone is at a respectable distance. Shiro’s eyes stop at the tall, dark and handsom figure standing at the cafeteria looking around for a table; Curtis, his communications and Navigations officer - his literal right hand. Surely he wouldn’t mind sitting next to him, would he?
Shiro chose his human hand to lift up and signals him to come by with a new hope in his heart. Curtis quickly steps toward him, but doesn’t place his tray on the table. Instead he stands straight like a rod in front of his captain only short of a salute.
“Sir, do you need anything?”
Shiro’s tongue rolls to say ‘yes I’d like to have my sauce refiled please,’ but stops seeing how serious Curtis looks. Even if Shiro makes that joke about refilling his tray, he fears Curtis will jump right in to action and do it. The honest blue eyes awaits a command so eagerly that Shiro stops himself for a moment, opting to tell the truth.
“I’d like some human company please.”
Curtis takes the seat promptly, Shiro doesn't have to explain, Shiro doesn't have to elaborate or receive a curious glance at his way.
“Thank you.” Shiro says after the officer places his tray without making a noise on the metal table; a sign of well-oiled military discipline even in mess hall. Then he looks up and smiles at his captain. The resulting dimples on his cheeks snaps Shiro's attention for a split second.
“I’ve spent years in black’s consciousness alone, now I crave human company.” Shiro finds himself explaining without an invite.
Curtis’s blue eyes widens only for a split second, curious about Black’s consciousness but then sympathy takes over, realizing the true meaning of what human company meant for his captain.'He cannot help looking around to take in the empty tables while the Captain keeps on talking.
“It was fine with Voltron, because the others were always around. But now that I’m back at the Garrison, look around, Cadets and Officers alike, they are avoiding me like I’m the plague. Do they consider me such boring company?”
Curtis laughs trying to keep his mouth closed so the food won’t pop out. “Sir, they are not avoiding you, but they respect you so much they don’t feel like sitting next to you.”
Shiro stares at him. To some extent, he knows what Curtis is saying. “So I’m doomed.”
“What?”
“I’m doomed to either have the company of the teenage paladins or the old pops like Coran or Iverson - don’t tell them I said so though.” Shiro doesn’t say that everyone in his Garrison class are now dead, to the point that almost all the cadets and officers are new faces to him. Curtis laughs, covering his mouth with the back of his palm. The Captain is still looking at him somberly.
“But Sir, You’ve got me now.” Curtis says while a dark blush covers his cheeks. “I'm sitting right here, and I’m sure Veronica already considers herself your best company. She’s been telling me, and I quote ‘the bridge crew should do some team bonding’. ”
“Of course we should." Shiro agrees making eye contact with Curtis. “We kind of hyper jumped in to it, right? To ATLAS? to bridge duty?"
“Yeah, yes we did sir. But just so you know, despite the fact that we hadn't even done a simulation together before we started fighting against Sendak, your commands were never ambiguous.” Curtis says.
“I didn’t see the peas” Shiro says stealing a spoonful of peas from Curtis’s tray avoiding the compliment with practice.
Curtis smiles amused, “Sir, if you want I can get you more.”
But Shiro stops him mid-sentence. “No thanks, Sam loved them so much, I had peas for six months straight, for at least once a day during the Kerberos mission. By the time we reached Kerberos, Matt and I were dreaming of dumping all the frozen peas on the moon before we returned home.”
Curtis listens intently, wondering how on earth this man considered himself boring companionship with the kind of stories he must have in store.
“But of course, we didn’t get to return and then before I knew, I was starving in a Galra cell dreaming of having a plate full of Sam’s frozen peas.”
Curtis almost chokes on his food.
“See, It’s no wonder people avoid me.” Shiro reasons noticing Curtis’s look of discomfort.
“Sir, sorry, I just had too much in my mouth.” Curtis says trying to cover up the horror he felt at the images his Captain’s words brought him, the images he had drawn in his mind with only the rumors to back them up. Captain Shirogane has never spoken out about his experience while in Galra captivity, yet there were all kinds of stories about his time in the castle of lion with the paladins.
Curtis had often wondered about the year Captain Sirogane spent in Zarkon's fleet,he had wondered and tried to come up with theories about how he lost his hand, he had wondered what the witch did to him. The captured and released Galra soldiers carried stories about the 'Champion', and they were brutal at best. Curtis dismissed the stories as gossip when the commanders and lieutenants spoke about the Captain when he wasn't around, it was the easier option than going in to details only to lose his appetite.
“Until we get rid of Haggar, you are doomed with my company Commander Curtis. I’ll try to keep my dark jokes at bay.”
Curtis looks up at him coming out of his stupor, because he knows those dark jokes were true experiences felt by this incredibly humble person in front of him. But he relaxes as he see the snicker on his Captain’s face like they were nothing. Curtis wants to say how lucky they got to have Captain Shirogane, who instead of being consumed by horrors he faced, seem to lighten up the lives of the people around him, an absolute beacon of hope in the doomed war time. But Curtis decides to remain silent, afraid that if everyone keep telling him that the Captain will be further burdened with having to keep up to their expectations. Sometimes Curtis would observe him working alone in his room behind closed doors or on the bridge and silently wishes for the Captain to shake off his duties and take a break. But the man seems to always be on duty, as if rosters and shifts ran for their life when they saw him. It irked Curtis when he preached to his soldiers about the importance of taking breaks, about spending time with your family, about how important they spoke to a therapist regularly if they felt the pressure and that it wasn't a matter to be shy about. Curtis had, more than once stopped himself from asking back about the last time he took a break, about the last time he spoke to a therapist.
“Speaking of team bonding, maybe we should start with your 'dark jokes’, I mean, if you don’t mind sharing…” Curtis stutters trying to open a bridge between them while also trying to keep his nose out of Captain's business.
Shiro raises his eyebrows at Curtis. He still doesn’t remember a lot of things that happened while he was in Galra captivity, but he wasn't going to tell that to his communications officer and leave him space to doubt his Captain's sanity. It is one reason why he has shared so little even with the paladins. Sometimes he doesn’t even know if a memory is an actual incident or a hallucination. Some memories that wake him up at night are too scary to share. They slip out of his tongue sometimes and his Voltron family is used it, though sometimes they look like they want to tear apart Haggar right there and then. But his bridge crew - they don't even know a pinch of what he went through. Strangely though, he feels easy to open up to Curtis. Shiro has seen rare collection of qualities in him during their work so far. He is easy going, quiet, but performs his duties to a fault that sometimes he is ready to execute the command even before Shiro turns at him to speak. Within the short time they have spent together, Shiro had grown to trust him.
What most impresses Shiro is that Curtis doesn’t look at Shiro neither like he is made of glass nor does he worship him like he is some superhuman. The man had, several times in the past, 'respectfully' called him out on his 'bullshit' when he spoke of Galra captivity like a vacation, Shiro had caught his raised eyebrow when he mentioned the importance of talking to someone, and had sent subtle hints at him to either bite his own words or listen to his own advice and take a break when they were alone in the bridge working like the clock doesn't exist. Others usually like to avoid those topics entirely. But Curtis looks solid like a rock, ready to listen and argue at the same time it makes Shiro wonder for a brief moment if he is ready to lean on someone from the external circle.
“They are not easy to listen to.” Shiro warns.
“I’m sure they aren’t easy, but a burden shared is a burden halved.”
Shiro squints his eyes at Curtis, that was a fine line, an invitation even, probably a line that tend to stem from one's own experience.
“Okay, I admit, it’s not one of my lines” Curtis sheepishly admits. “My therapist uses that on me when she wants to pull me out of the holes I dig for myself, which is more often that I'd like to admit.”
Shiro realizes that Curtis is sharing with him something very personal. Yet he doesn’t sound like something is stuck in his throat. Not everyone jumps at the chance to admit they get therapy.
“Still, it’s true.” Shiro agrees.
“Yeah…” Curtis admits absently. They fall in to a comfortable silence after that, only the sounds of their cutlery filling the space between them.
“I never got the chance to thank you.” Shiro breaks the silence, taking the opportunity to do something he long had been meaning to.
“Huh…?”
“When, Keith and others fell on earth after that upper atmosphere blast, we all leapt to help them. But you stood behind, waited for ATLAS to get back up and took everybody in it to… order, I still wonder how you handled the panicked civilians.“
“I was just doing my job sir.” Curtis sounds like its everyday business but his blue eyes shines. In his opinion, that was a hell of a compliment considering it came from his Captain.
“Humble ha? Then, thank you for doing your job.”
The laugh comes easily to the both of them now. “You are very welcome, Sir.”
Curtis picks at his food, grinning at his tray and leaving the peas to the Captain Shirogane who occasionally and without an apology steals a spoonful or two from his tray. It feels light, like the burden is already shared and halved. Curtis knows how fortunate he is to have the chance to work beside this man, instead of a too hard military man whose rank got to his head and didn't know to speak other than commands. Captain Shirogane reeked humanness, he took care of his men, he listened to them, he was the total opposite of Admiral Sanda.
Curtis also understand the responsibility behind the fortune of having to work for a man of Shirogane's stature. Once the earth defenses are improved and ATLAS is up and running, they will be off defending and saving the planets under Galra Empire. Their Captain will be relying on them on a lot of things and they'll have to match his expectations at an ATLAS level. Curtis swears to himself that he would do everything and anything possible for this simple yet exceptional human being stealing peas from his tray despite the brass stars and medals he's wearing enough to blind a man in front of him, but more importantly, for his cause as a leader, who selflessly dedicated his whole life for the saving of the universe and shouldered the responsibility of the universe on his own for a very long time. Sam couldn't have come up with a better name than ATLAS for this man's sentient-mecha ship.
"Anything and everything," he tells himself as he gathers the peas in his tray to a mountain so Captain Shirogane could have easy access to them.
' Anything and everything....'