Archive of Our Own

Donghyuck is sick and tired of Mark Lee.

He got it. He really did. The fear, both irrational and completely justifiable, wasn’t unknown to Donghyuck but he learned how to live despite of it years ago. And he knew Mark wanted to do the same but was a bit slower with it than his boyfriend.

But Donghyuck was reaching his limits.

They’ve been together for almost four months now and their relationship was still a secret to the world. Even to most of their members. Mark promised Donghyuck on multiple occasions that he’s working on it, figuring out how to be more comfortable with people knowing about him. About them. To this day, it all remained words whispered in the dead of the night, air between them tranquil and warm from their mixed breathes, exhaustion from the day claiming them.

Donghyuck was getting impatient and he hated it.

He felt like a dick for feeling frustrated when he knew this was harder for Mark than it was for him. He wanted to be the supportive boyfriend Mark needed, and most days his effort was genuine, but from time to time he slipped up and felt awful about himself and their relationship, letting the toxic thoughts consume him.

Unfortunately, today was such a day and the timing couldn’t be worse.

They had one of the rare weekends completely free of schedules. All twenty one of them and all here in Seoul for it. It was nothing short of a miracle and everyone was excited at the prospect of spending some time together as a family. True, they were a weird and slightly awkward one, but they all still treasured the unique relationships they had; relationships no one outside of their group, not even managers, could even come close to understanding. They decided to first go to a nice restaurant with some chill live music and enjoy a dinner together. Later the older members would go to a club, which really meant only Chenle and Jisung would be going back to the dorms. The pair didn’t protest as much as everyone thought they would, which was weird and more than slightly concerning. It was all supposed to be fun and games, if only Donghyuck wasn’t so so tired and worn out. He would have preferred to stay in his bed and watch Netflix until he felt marginally better.

Alas, he always was and always will be the sunshine of their group and he didn’t want to disappoint his members by being gloomy and ruining the mood. So he pushed it all down, put on his makeup and jewelry and was ready to go out with his best friends.

The act lasted all about twenty minutes before it all crashed and burned, due to no one else than the infamous Mark Lee.

There probably wasn’t a restaurant in this city, maybe even in the whole world, which could accommodate all of them so they split between two large tables, all the members from different units mixing together, eager to catch up with their teammates who had their own schedules that kept them busy. Taeyong sat at the head of one table, Kun of the other and it was both funny and endearing how naturally both leaders fell into their roles even outside of work. The rest didn’t mind at all.

The lightning was dimmed and the area they chose private, slightly closed off from the rest of the restaurant, so Donghyuck decided to take a chance and approached his boyfriend, who was currently choosing where to sit with Yukhei by his side.

He stood next to Mark and made sure the older had noticed his presence before brushing his fingers over the top of his hand, gently linking their pinkies. His stupidly soft smile fell right off his face as he felt Mark pulling away almost instantly, yet not before squeezing their joined hands slightly. An act of affection followed right after by one of rejection. Donghyuck’s heart soared the skies and drowned in molten lava at the same time.

“Not now, Hyuck.”

“Why not now? Yukhei knows. No one is even looking our way.” Donghyuck was talking in a quiet and urgent whisper that he hated using so fucking much. It was a tone made for dirty secrets and unresolved arguments.

“I know, it’s just...” They were close enough that even in the dimmed light and with the jazz music playing in the background, Donghyuck could both see and hear Mark gulping uncomfortably. The older turned to him then and the intensity of his gaze was pinning Donghyuck in place, leaving him with no other option but to succumb to the older’s wishes as he spoke next. “Can we please talk about this later? When we get home. I promise.”

Acid was burning his lungs and chest and eyes so Donghyuck didn’t speak, only slightly nodded his head and went to sit next to Jeno. Mark followed him after a few seconds of hesitation, probably with the intention to sit next to his boyfriend, but Renjun beat him to it and promptly took the seat next to Donghyuck’s. He looked up at Mark with eyes both innocent and somehow glinting dangerously in the low lights. Donghyuck watched the exchange but decided to do nothing. He needed a few seconds to gather himself and Renjun was gifting him just that.

Mark looked like he would say something more, but Yukhei pulled him along to sit opposite of the two friends. This meant Donghyuck and Mark were eye to eye. Great.

After all these years spent together as friends and then best friends and only recently as lovers, Mark and Hyuck knew each other so well that nothing could be hidden between them. In their words, yes. But their eyes were always a clear window into each other’s soul and that’s why Donghyuck always looked away when lying that he was fine with their secrets, all the waiting and hiding. He didn’t want Mark to know how weak and insecure he felt; that was his to deal with and Mark could never know.

So now Donghyuck kept his eyes trained on the table, playing around with the cutlery and focusing on calming down. Renjun was softly yet excitedly speaking to him about his newest solo project and Jeno draped his arm over the back of the chair, resting his hand on Donghyuck’s shoulder. They didn’t even know what was going on but they still saw their friend needed comforting, so that’s just what they did without prodding any further. Donghyuck was truly lucky.

Their table was as loud and as chaotic as you would expect twenty one boys and men sitting down would be. The good food was passed around and drinks were ordered, laughter was filling the air and everyone was conversing loudly; or at least, as loud as restaurant etiquette allowed. Taeyong and Kun were always ready with their leaders' scolding if anyone did something too out of line.

Donghyuck was already feeling better, so much so that he was now playing footsie with Mark under the table while loudly laughing at Yuta’s retelling of Sicheng accidentally sending him a very embarrassing picture.

He locked eyes with his boyfriend over the plates of barbecue and bottles of soju, his heart skipping a beat or two as he saw the concern in Mark’s eyes. Donghyuck was weak for him and couldn’t stay mad for long; his infinite patience for his boyfriend’s antics will cost Donghyuck his sanity one day. But not today. He smiled a brilliant and hopefully reassuring smile Mark’s way, the older instantly relaxing in his seat and sending a more restrained version of that same smile back.

All was well for now.

They left the restaurant sometime close to midnight, Taeyong already fussing about "the kids" staying out too late. The said kids were giggling like crazy, making fun of Taeyong for being an old man and telling him “to take a chill pill”, which only resulted in a whole new scolding while everyone waited for their manager to come pick Chenle and Jisung up. Even Doyoung, who usually liked to keep his observations to himself, was making fun of Taeyong now.

“We can’t have any fun if you don’t relax a bit. Maybe that chill pill plan isn’t the worst idea Little Demon and Tall Nuisance had.”

“My authority is being undermined by my own members! Unbelievable!” Taeyong was practically fuming now and yet none of the said members could stop laughing for long enough to support him in the argument he was clearly loosing.

The manager finally arrived and took the two laughing teenagers back to their dorms, Taeyong still giving them a goodbye hug before everyone walked to the club that was just down the street.

The walk wasn’t long and the night was pleasant. Donghyuck was taking deep breaths and enjoying hearing the laughter of his bandmates all around him when he felt fingers intertwining with his own. For a moment he imagined it was Mark, but the fingers wrapped around his were much thinner and more delicate than those of his boyfriend.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Renjun’s melodic voice came from beside Donghyuck, the younger only sighing in response. But Renjun was nothing if not persistent and caring, so he tugged on their joined hands, prompting Donghyuck to speak.

“It’s nothing, Junnie. I’m just not in that good of a mood, but I’m all good.”

Renjun’s voice was very calculated when he spoke next. “And that foul mood of yours has nothing to do with a certain Mark Lee who I’m certain you’re crushing on but who’s been rejecting you ever since I can remember?”

“He’s not rejecting me." Donghyuck mumbled, Renjun barely having caught it over the sounds of the street at night and their loud group of friends. The Chinese boy only let out a small confused sound, so Donghyuck spoke again. “We’ve been together for four months now, Injun. So I’m pretty sure that he’s not rejecting me but I also don’t know what to call what you saw at the dinner. He said he’s working on it, but I...”

Renjun said nothing, only pressed himself closer to his friend’s side, offering his warmth as a form of comfort. Donghyuck appreciated the gesture greatly.

“Have you told him? That it bothers you when he acts like that?”

“No, not really...” Donghyuck chewed on his bottom lip nervously, probably messing up his lipstick. He didn’t even want to look at Renjun’s face – he could already imagine the compassion mixed with pity and worry. “I can’t. I’m afraid it’ll only scare him away, undo all the progress he’s already made. I want to give him time.”

A few seconds of tense silence passed before Renjun spoke again. “Mark’s comfort shouldn’t come at a price of you hurting. You need to talk with him, Hyuck. You can’t wait for him to get his shit together forever, or hope he will if you don't tell him there's shit to sort out in the first place.”

It was the truth and it scared Donghyuck more than he dared admit to himself. He knew this wasn’t healthy and that if he didn’t tell Mark, the older had no way of knowing how his actions affected him. But the prospect of losing Mark or worrying the boy even more, putting another burden on his shoulders, was even scarier.

“I’ll tell him soon, I promise.” By the way Renjun only sighed and squeezed their joined hands, Donghyuck guessed he sensed the lie.

They reached the club and skipped the line completely, entering through a VIP entrance. The perks of being an SM artist. They settled in the few separees that lined the wall of a closed off VIP area that had its own bar and was divided from the rest of the club with a low fence and a few bodyguards, but still had a good view of the dance floor and an easy route to it. Various drinks were quickly ordered and consumed even quicker, many of their group already leaving for the dance floor.

Jeno and Jaemin yelled over the loud techno music with latin vibes for Renjun to join them, looking at the smaller boy expectantly. Renjun glanced at Donghyuck nervously, clearly torn between taking care of his friend and dancing with the two handsome boys. Donghyuck flashed him a quick smile and a thumbs up before practically pushing him in the direction of their expectant friends. They all disappeared from his view shortly after and Donghyuck felt happy that the three of his dear friends were having fun together.

He took a sip of his whiskey and coke before finally looking up and around the table, lying to himself that he was merely curious and not looking for a certain Canadian boy. And sure enough, the said boy was already looking at Donghyuck from across the large round table and flowery decorations on top of it.

He was nursing a glass of whisky on ice, his black outfit and red lights making him seem almost ethereal, like a dangerous stranger. That was, if you disregarded his eyes that were looking at Donghyuck with all the gentleness and care that was so unmistakably Mark; the gaze that was reserved for Donghyuck and Donghyuck alone.

The younger contemplated what to do – should he go over or just sit and wait to see if Mark would make a move in public? While he was weighing out his options, Mark seemed to have already made up his mind. He stood up and walked over to Donghyuck, drink still in hand, his steps steady and relaxed. The older sat down next to him and found his hand in the dark, his fingers filling all the empty spaces between Donghyuck’s. Not a perfect fit, but that only made it more precious – that they worked around everything that wanted to keep them apart. The thought made Donghyuck go incredibly soft and squeeze his boyfriend’s hand, looking up at him with stars and red lights of the dance floor in his eyes.

“Hello there, dear.” The pet names slipped easily past Mark’s lips when no one but Donghyuck was there to hear them. It was bittersweet.

“Hey.” Donghyuck brought their conjoined hands up between them and kissed Mark’s pale knuckles softly, seeing more than hearing the older’s breath hitch. A satisfied smile spread across his face at that. No one ever made the completely fully capable Mark Lee loose his composure; that is, no one except for Donghyuck.

“Are we okay? I mean, after the dinner and everything?” Mark bit the inside of his cheek while waiting for Donghyuck’s answer, clearly anxious about it. Good. That meant he had to have at least some idea of how Donghyuck felt about his public rejections.

Donghyuck was getting ready to lie yet again, to give one excuse or the other that would settle Mark’s anxiety and clear the air between them from this awful tension that was still present. But just as he opened his mouth, Renjun’s words came back to him unbidden.

Mark’s comfort shouldn’t come at a price of you hurting.

Oh, Donghyuck was hurting. Had been for months now, but kept quiet for the sake of their relationship.

You can’t wait for him to get his shit together forever.

Donghyuck was done waiting.

“Actually, we’re not just yet. But you can make it up to me. Come dance with me.” He said the words with nonchalance and brightness, throwing a blinding smile in there for good measure.

Mark’s eyes roamed all over the features of Donghyuck’s face, his grip on his hand tightening almost imperceptibly. A bad omen.

“I... I can’t do that, sunshine. I’m sorry. You understand, don’t you?" The worst thing was, Mark’s smile was truly apologetic. He really didn’t see how significant, how hurtful his actions were.

Donghyuck’s smile disappeared off his face as he spoke. “No, Mark. I really don’t understand.”

Mark was gaping at him with wide and worried eyes and Donghyuck couldn’t take it any longer. He had to leave before the guilt and the pain overpowered him right then and there. He finished his drink in one large gulp and stood up abruptly, making Mark jump in his seat.

“Move.”

“Hyuck, I...”

“I said, move.”

Mark closed his gaping mouth shut quickly, and stood up so Donghyuck could pass by him and head towards the dance floor without sparing his boyfriend another glance. Donghyuck wasn’t sure if he hoped or feared that Mark would follow him, but either proved pointless since Mark didn’t do that.

He had to get himself together and had to do it now. He could feel the pressure behind his eyes, the familiar sensation of his throat closing up and his knees going weak. He didn’t have the privilege of breaking down in the middle of a crowded club.

Still dazed from the cocktail of emotions in his veins, Donghyuck stepped onto the dance floor without thinking it through, looking for any of his bandmates. A grave mistake, looking back. He quickly got disoriented, the bodies pushing against his and hands grazing his arms doing nothing to help, only making him more uncomfortable and lost. He was hoping for Renjun, hell, even a noisy Ten or an overprotective Taeil would be fine at this point. But it seemed as if his luck had run out.

A large and warm hand with fingers adorned with many silver and black rings closed around his upper arm, pulling him closer to a tall and lean body. Donghyuck’s first though was Yukhei, thank God! but as he glanced up he was met with a face of a stranger. A stranger with a nice smile, thin lips and bright hazel eyes that were accentuated with subtle shimmering makeup. To sum it up, a quite handsome face was now starring at Donghyuck from above, which was ridiculous, he wasn’t even that short.

“Can I help you?” Donghyuck spoke up first since the other seemed to have no intention of doing anything except standing there with his hand still wrapped around Donghyuck's arm.

The stranger smiled a little wider. “Yeah you can, but I can also help you. Are you lost?”

“Just looking for my friends.” Donghyuck found it peculiar that he still didn’t move away from the other boy, but he was rather respectful of Donghyuck’s personal space and his voice held no pressure or threats, just warmth and curiosity.

The words were hard to get through over the loud music, but they managed. “Sorry to disappoint you, but the dance floor is so large and crowded I think that’s impossible.” The stranger paused before leaning in and saying his next words next to Donghyuck’s ear. “Dance with me for a bit, instead. We’ll look for them when it’s less crowded. I promise to get you home by midnight.” His tone was playful but there was still nothing predatory about it, so Donghyuck considered himself lucky this time around.

Suddenly the image of Mark’s face from only a few minutes ago flashed through his mind – the one where he was all dark and imposing yet undoubtedly his. Familiar and warm and safe. It made the tears surge back to his eyes in an instant.

Oh, fuck this. For a few moments, somewhere between now and forever, Donghyuck considered his options. He could see it clearly, a vision of the rest of his night if he just took this stranger's hand and disappeared into the pulsating throb of the crowd.

Hands on Donghyuck’s waist and in his hair. Swaying to the rhythm of the dirty beat that was playing. Insanity. Liberation. Being in the spotlight, dancing where everyone could see them. Everyone jealous of what they had. The blaring red lights illuminating it all, lips close to his neck but not quite touching the skin there. Smiles on their sweaty and glittery faces because they were so in love. The word "love" popping up in his brain was like a bucket of ice water in the middle of the heated dance floor, his skin burning in the places the stranger touched him. What use was it, trying to fool himself that he wanted it easy? He wanted Mark. Whatever that meant, however it was.

He looked at the other boy, who must have seen the panic in Donghyuck’s eyes because he swiftly removed his hand from its previous position. The boy considered, and ultimately took Donghyuck’s hand in his and lead them through the crowd.

Time and space were a relative, now. The time it took them to reach the bar could’ve been a few minutes or a whole hour. Donghyuck supposed it didn’t really matter. He just wanted to go back to his separee and wait for his friends to come back so they could all go back to the dorms. And maybe to see Mark and cuddle into his side and kiss his eyelids as they fluttered shut under his touch. And talk. There was some talking and listening they both had to do.

The stranger was leaning into his space a bit, speaking loudly so as to be heard over the deafening music. “Let me get you some water, okay?”

Donghyuck only nodded his head, eyes both unseeing and searching for his friends at the same time. A chilled glass was in his hand and a warm presence of a body nearby. He was almost sure he saw Jaemin’s pink hair somewhere in the crowd.

He turned his attention back to his companion after a tap on his shoulder. The boy was offering him a paper napkin. Donghyuck's confused grimace melted into an alramed one when he noticed a string of numbers hastily scribbled on it in a messy yet readable script. The stranger must've noticed the change in his demeanor yet again, for he quickly retracted his outstretched hand.

“I’m sorry, do you have someone already?” The taller boy sounded curious and somehow mild, as mild as anyone screaming over the blaring techno beats and a club full of people to be heard could sound.

“I... I do. I have.” Donghyuck winced at his own voice, at how unsure he sounded. He needed to get back to Mark, and quickly. He had to make everything right.

The unknown boy smiled at him, too knowingly for Donghyuck’s liking. “That’s okay. But here, take my number and call me if the answer ever becomes "no".” He left the napkin on the bar between them and with one last smile Donghyuck's way dissappeared into the crowd.

Donghyuck took a moment more to finish his now lukewarm glass of water. He said a quick prayer of gratitude that the stranger wasn't some maniac, as they usually were. And then, now properly collected and oriented, turned his body towards the VIP area.

If Donghyuck had any luck tonight, Mark wouldn’t be sitting there when Donghyuck came back.

As it was, his jinx was still there and so was Mark.

He hadn’t stood up as he saw Donghyuck approaching their table but his eyes didn’t leave the younger for a second. They were dark and clouded, something Donghyuck didn’t recognize and therefore didn’t know how to act according to. He sat next to his boyfriend but their bodies weren’t touching all over like they usually would.

Mark was the first to move. He took Donghyuck’s hand in a firm grip of his slightly calloused fingers and moved it to his lap. The point of physical contact somehow made Donghyuck lightheaded; like he could tear up and sob like a child in the middle of the crowded club.

“Who was he?” Mark’s voice was strained and had a tone that Donghyuck couldn’t decipher. If he was a bit less drained, his curiosity would have led him to look at Mark’s face and figure out what it was or ask him how he knew Donghyuck even was with anyone. Right now though, he only lowered his gaze to their conjoined hands.

“Some stranger.”

“Did... Ar-” A frustrated sigh. Mark took a deep breath and started again. "Did he buy you a drink?"

“No, he just got me a glass of water."

Mark’s jaw moved in a strange clench that unwound his face, transforming the closed-off expression he put up so far into a concerned one. “Water? In a club? What- Are you okay?”

"I'm fine. I mean, I'm not. I'm... Good God, I don't know."

He saw the moment Mark’s eyes went blank, his expression showing his confusion because he couldn’t figure out what exactly was happening.

Donghyuck looked back down. A silence stretched between them before he spoke his next words, loud and soft. “Just before coming here, I told Renjun I want to give you the time to figure things out and he told me I shouldn’t wait forever. I’m anxious and insecure and I hate doubting you. I hate doubting us. But that’s what happens when you refuse to show me that I matter to you outside of our own world, where others can see.”

His next breath was shaky, but he needed to power through this now that he had begun. “And here comes this stranger and wants to dance and in theory that’s exactly what I want. But you know what? Not for a second did I consider it. Because all I could think of was that I want that with you, only you. Anything with you... no matter what.”

His voice was now wavering, all the suppressed emotions resurfacing at once. Without looking at his boyfriend’s reaction, Donghyuck removed his hand from Mark’s now weak grasp and started walking towards the side exit, the one that led to a deserted hallway and then bathrooms.

The music here sounded as if he was underwater, the world giving him a break from blaring lights and sweat and noise. He leaned on the wall under the artificial blue lights, closing his eyes and taking deep breathes. No use. He bowed his head and squeezed his eyes shut, hugging himself tight as a form comfort when there was no other source of it in the chilly hallway.

He fucked up. He messed up everything. Mark will probably break up with him now and it was all due to Donghyuck’s own stupidity. He should’ve spoken up sooner or stayed behind and talked to Mark. Tears were threating to escape his eyes yet again and he felt so weak and helpless and alone. Why was it so hard for him to be happy when he technically had everything he ever wanted?

His thoughts were overwhelming him, a scream crawling up his throat with a threat of escaping and damaging the vocal cords already strained and brused from work. The current broke when a large, warm hand touched the side of his face. He immediately leaned into the touch, his body recognizing the relief it brought even before his mind did.

Getting lost in Mark’s touch was always so easy. Natural.

Donghyuck looked up to find his boyfriend looking at him with furrowed brows and a wild gaze. So many emotions were written there and Donghyuck could read them all – it was guilt and fear and fondness and worry and frustration and more. It all amounted to such an intensity in Mark’s eyes that it burned through Donghyuck, a fire reaching all the way down to his core. He didn’t look away no matter how much he wanted to hide from it. He owed Mark that much.

Mark’s other hand came up to rest on the other side of his face, caging Donghyuck in. “Don’t cry, sunshine. Just please don’t cry.”

Donghyuck sniffled as he realized that a few stray tears did, in fact, escape past his eyelashes; his makeup must be a mess by now. That was such a trivial thought that an urge to laugh hysterically formed in Donghyuck’s chest, but he suppressed it.

“Mark, I’m sorry. I– I didn’t, I wasn’t…”

“No, no. Hush. Please, let me speak first. Let me apologize to you.”

Donghyuck could do nothing but stare at his boyfriend’s face, dumbfounded. Mark took a deep breath, looked away from Donghyuck’s eyes to his own hands on his warm honey skin and then started talking. “Okay. First of all, I need you to know I love you so so much even though my words and actions don’t seem to match my feelings. These past few months I’ve been an awful boyfriend to you– No, please. Let me finish. I’ve been awful and I didn’t realize it up until now. Up until you literally said to my face that I’ve been neglecting you and your feelings. I know I’ve been… difficult, to say the least. Don’t smirk at me, I’m being honest here. Anyways, I got so comfortable with you giving me the opportunity to adjust to our relationship being public, even though you could’ve easily demanded for me to get my shit together earlier. I got so comfortable, I forgot to try my hardest for you. I forgot to read between the lines and figure out you’re hurting underneath pretending to be okay for me.”

Mark’s voice was wavering now, not dissimilar to how Donghyuck sounded at the booth. “You always took care of me, even though you would never admit to it, but I always knew it and appreciated it. You were always dragging me back to dorms to rest or would throw an energy bar at me when you knew I forgot to have lunch. I remember all the nights where I fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow at three in the morning but I would wake up with a blanket over me and my phone charging.”

Donghyuck’s eyes were filling up with tears at an alarming rate, but Mark only smiled at him all soft and fond, moving his thumbs in a soothing movement over Donghyuck’s cheekbones. “There’s no good excuse for me except that you have the dumbest boyfriend on Earth who will after this keep in mind to appreciate you as you deserve. But you gotta help me out, Hyuck. You have to tell me what you’re feeling or thinking even when I’m at fault. Especially then.”

“I don’t want to burden you further. You’re already so busy and tired and…”

“You and your feelings are not a burden, Hyuck. Fuck, you’re what I love the most in this world. You’re not a burden or an obligation or a task. You’re my boyfriend, and you deserve better from me. And I swear to you I will try my absolute very best to give just that to you if you’ll give me a chance to. If you still want this complicated thing we have.”

Donghyuck was this close to straight out ugly sobbing. “Damn you, Mark Lee. Yes. I want to try everything we can to be happy. And I have to try and actually talk to you. It’s not fair to expect from you to fix something you don’t even know is broken.”

Mark smiled widely at his words, pecking Donghyuck on the nose and looking at him with stars in his eyes. “We’re a team, yeah? Always together. I love you.”

It took every ounce of strength he had left for Donghyuck to not give in to Mark’s kisses right then and there and instead ask the question he should’ve asked months ago. No fear, no judgment. Just talking, understanding. Hope. “Mark, why are you so afraid of people knowing? Screw people, but our own members? Are… are you ashamed?”

Mark’s thumbs never stopped moving and the feeling in his eyes shifted, helping Donghyuck see the turmoil inside Mark. “I’m not afraid of anyone knowing I’m not straight or that you’re mine. I’m afraid of people. We’ve both been in this industry for a while now and you know it gets… ugly. I’m afraid of people hurting us. I’m scared of sharing you with others because I feel most at peace when I’m alone with you and know that nothing can get us here, in each other’s arms. Letting people know would make us vulnerable, but I know it must happen at some point. And now that I know that you want it, I’m gonna make it happen soon.”

Donghyuck said nothing. Not with words, at least.

He said it all with putting his hands over Mark’s on his face and leaning in closer, sealing their lips in a kiss tasting of salty tears and whiskey and Donghyuck’s cherry lip-gloss. Donghyuck wished this taste would remain on his lips forever.

His tongue gently probed at Mark’s lips and they immediately parted for him. Mark moved so he was even more in Donghyuck’s space, their bodies pressed close to each other, Donghyuck’s back hitting the wall behind him. Mark’s hands disappeared from his face and moved down to his tights, swiftly lifting his legs up around his hips with a practiced move. Donghyuck was just as practiced and crossed his ankles at the small of Mark's back, the new height difference helping them further deepen the kiss.

The older’s lips moved down his neck, leaving a glossy trail, teasing and testing and biting only slightly at the sensitive and sweaty skin there. A giddy little giggle escaped Donghyuck, the sound a bit out of place considering the atmosphere in this claustrophobic hallway.

“What?”

“Nothing, I’m just thinking how much I love you. And that I should’ve made you worried sooner.”

Mark groaned, lips still stretched in a wide grin which took some gravity out of that, then swiftly went back in to shut Donghyuck up the only way he ever knew how.

Later, when they danced together in the VIP area, or held hands on their way to the car, Donghyuck decided he wouldn't shut up ever again.