Chapter Text
Luffy sat up in a jolt.
Looking drowsily around the room, he wondered what had caused him to wake up like that. Something feels wrong and the unsettling feeling deep in his gut won't go away. This was similar to the feeling when he had eaten a whole plate of rotten meat and his stomach rebelled against him.
Speaking of meat, he turned to where his Cook's hammock lay and frowned when he saw it was empty.
Weird. Sanji should be back by now. He scratched his head with a puzzled look. The moon was high in the sky which meant it was quite late already and yet his Cook was still not back.
Something feels wrong. Something in Luffy made him get up to look for the Cook. He didn't know what but he has to see him before he could calm down. It could be nothing but at least he'd have an excuse to request for a late night snack—preferably meat.
Walking out onto the deck, he took in the cool night breeze with a small smile and made his way to the galley where Sanji most likely would be at.
However, the room was dark and empty. In fact—now that Luffy was fully awake—he couldn't sense his Cook's presence anywhere on the ship. His eyes widen in realization—fully alert now—and branch his senses out one more time, carefully sweeping over the Sunny and counting under his breath the familiar presences on the ship.
Nami and Carrot was still in their room sleeping soundly as were Brook and Chopper in the men's bunk.
No Sanji.
Alarm bells went up in his head and a very bad feeling overwhelmed him.
Something's wrong.
He didn't know what but something is seriously wrong and he knows he has to act right now.
"GUYS!!!" He yelled; his voice—loud and urgent—resounded around the ship and he knew everyone heard it.
Nami and Carrot came out of their room first looking not at all pleased with the sudden wake-up call but upon seeing the seriousness on Luffy's face, their expression grew tense.
"What's wrong Luffy?" Nami asked.
"Sanji's missing."
With only these two words, both ladies knew what Luffy's worry was about. They quickly sprung into action with Carrot hopping up to the higher ground and scan the ship for anything odd and Nami screaming at the two to hurry the hell up.
"EH! Sanji's gone?!" Chopper exclaimed, his eyes wide with fear.
"He's not on the ship." Luffy stated, his hat shadowing his face but everyone could tell he was serious.
".....Don't tell me he's....." Nami drifted off, not wanting to finish that sentence. Everyone turned to the sea; the endless dark waters below that seems to go on forever.
There was a moment of stillness before everyone sprung into action.
"I'll go get the Shark Submarine!" Brook announces before hoping under the hatch.
"I'll drop the anchor!"
"I'll go get my maps and check the water currents."
Carrot hopped up to the top of the crow's nest to have a better view point of the sea.
Only Luffy stood there like a statue; unmoving and staring hard at the dark waters below.
He didn't understand. He thought Sanji was strong. He thought he could fight off whatever's bugging him just like how he fought off all the marines and pirates who mocked him. He thought.....
He shake his head. No. Thoughts can come later. He has to find Sanji right now before it's too late.
Branching out his senses over the area, he concentrated hard on detecting any signs of life in the waters. It was easy to differentiate fishes from a human so Luffy found the Cook easily but here's the problem:
He's in too deep and far for Luffy to do anything. The currents were strong underneath and its only sweeping Sanji further away from them.
He can only rely on his nakama to get Sanji back now with the submarine.
He relayed the message to Brook and he immediately turned to the direction Luffy indicated at full speed.
Luffy waited with baited breath until Brook's voice came from the den den mushi.
"I got him! But he's not breathing!" Brook's voice was panicky and full of anxiety that Luffy feared the worst. However, he is the captain of the Strawhats and as the captain, he has to lead—especially in this time of emergency.
"Hurry back to the Sunny Brook." He shouted to the communicator and quickly turned to the little doctor. "Chopper!"
No words were further needed as Chopper swiftly retreated into the infirmary to get the equipment ready for his patient.
It seems like it's been forever since Brook came back on the Sunny with the nearly dead Cook in his arms.
Brook looked devastated when he came back, which for a skeleton without facial features means a lot.
Chopper had chased everyone out of the infirmary as he worked, only allowing Nami inside when he needed help. Luffy sat at his usual spot on the head of Sunny and stared out at the dark waters ahead.
How could Sanji do this? Why?
He didn't understand.
He didn't understand why his nakama would choose death especially after everything they been through.
Was he not happy sailing with them? Was he not content?
He was pretty sure Sanji wanted to come back to the Sunny after everything that happened and he was genuinely happy when he made it back. So why?
Why did he do this?
Chopper told him that Sanji was blaming himself for Pedro's death, for disrespecting his captain, for putting Nami and the other's in harm's way, for many many other things.
After listening to that he still didn't understand the reason. He was so confused.
None of it was Sanji's fault at all.
Pedro chose to come to Whole Cake Island in order to repay what Sanji and the others did for the Minks in their time of need. He chose to fight for them and ultimately sacrificed his life for them. It was his choice to do so and Luffy respects the choice the Mink made even if it was something not all of them wished he did.
As for fighting with him; Luffy had long forgiven him for that. Luffy made his choice not to fight him and even if Sanji hit him a few times till he went unconscious, he didn't mind. All's in the past and he doesn't think about it anymore.
And he was sure everyone in the crew will be willing to go through any danger to bring him back. Even despite Zoro's harsh words, he can tell the Swordsman is worried about the Cook too.
They are all nakama. They shouldn't be holding back things from one another.
Take him for example; if he wants meat, he'll get meat from Sanji. If he wants to play, he'll get either Usopp or Chopper to play with him. If he wants to spar, he'll get Zoro. If he wants to go somewhere, he'll ask Nami to navigate. If he wants to know something that interest him, he'll get Robin to explain. If he wants something cool to play with, he'll get Franky to invent it and if he wants music to lighten his day, he'll get Brook to play a lovely piece.
He knows he can't do things on his own but that's what nakama is for right?
Luffy's never afraid of speaking his thoughts out loud and being a pirate, he takes what he wants. That's the freedom he sought for when he becomes the Pirate King.
But he can't become the Pirate King if he doesn't have his nakama by his side.
Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brook, Jinbe and Sanji. Each and every one of them are important to him and he wants to see them all achieve their dreams and be there when he achieve his.
So now the issue was—how can he help Sanji get better?
He wracked his brains hard but couldn't come up with a solution to help his Cook.
Maybe Sanji would like some meat? After all, meat makes him happy and it might cheer Sanji up too.
But the last time he tried to cook ended up with a destroyed kitchen, he was sure Nami won't let him anywhere near the kitchen after that. So no meat....
Luffy groaned from the overused of his brain and sprawled over the grass, frowning at it.
If only Robin was here, she would know what to do. He thought.
But the rest of the crew is at Wano; gathering allies and intel while they wait for their captain to arrive with the rest.
They were making good progress towards their destination but Nami warned Luffy that she wasn't sure taking Sanji in his current state would be a good idea. After all, they are about to go to war with Kaido and if the encounter with Big Mom didn't warn them how powerful a Yonko is, Nami was sure Kaido will be just as powerful, if not more.
Luffy was stumped.
But before he could destroy his brain cells any further, Chopper called for the crew to gather in the infirmary.
Sanji is finally awake.
Luffy barreled into the infirmary with a joyful look on his face but froze when he saw his nakama's face. It was devoid of any emotion; his eyes glazed over, seeing nothing.
His first words were: "I'm sorry."
But Luffy didn't want to hear an apology.
He wanted his nakama back to his usual fiery self.
Nami looked at him with a worried gaze and he could see the sadness in her eyes—the hopelessness.
But Luffy didn't want to believe that all hope is lost. Sanji's strong. He knows it. And he wholeheartedly believes that Sanji will pull through this—not alone of course, he'll be there for him this time. He'll stick with him 24/7 till he's back to his old self again and all these painful things will be a memory of the past—one to be forgotten.
But as much as Luffy hopes to be able to help his nakama get back on his feet, he knows he can't do this by himself. He's going to need the others to help Sanji as well.
For a determined nod to himself, Luffy was pleased that he managed to think of something.
Well, Time for a crew meeting.
"This kind of thing isn't so simple Luffy! We can't just go to Wano with Sanji-kun like this! It's too dangerous." Nami exclaimed.
"I agree. I may not be knowledgeable in this field, but I don't think bringing Sanji to Wano is a good idea. He might get seriously injured!" Chopper chimed in with a worried frown.
Luffy sat cross-legged on the deck of the Sunny where he decided to round up the crew to have their meeting on the lawn since the kitchen where they usually gather at is damaged at the moment. Sanji went back to sleep after Chopper gave him some sleeping pills since it was obvious that he hasn't been able to sleep for the past few days. And just as well too, since they can have their meeting about Sanji without the worry of being overheard by said person.
Luffy sat there silently with a deep frown as he considered carefully his nakama's words.
His crew knew that Luffy was seriously thinking about something when he tilts his straw-hat down so that it shadows his face. They all waited with bated breath for their captain to make a decision.
After a moment passed in silence, Luffy shot up to his feet with a wide grin.
"Alright! I've decided!"
Everything shifted closer in anticipation to hear what their captain has to say while Nami watched on with a suspicious look.
"We're going to Wano, reunite with our nakama there and we're going to have a big feast!!" Luffy exclaimed.
Carrot jumped for joy at the mention of feast while the rest of them could only smack their foreheads hard with their hands.
"Luffy! Did you not understand? Sanji-kun's—"
"I understand how much pain Sanji is in right now." Luffy's expression turned serious again and Nami snapped her mouth shut quickly, swallowing her remaining words.
"I understand—" Luffy begins slowly, as if choosing the right words to say which was so unlike Luffy to even think before he speaks. "That Sanji needs the crew now more than ever and that means every one of us here; Nami, Chopper, Carrot, Brook—" He turned and met each of his nakama's eyes respectively with a soft smile before continuing with the rest who are currently not with them. "And of course we need Usopp, Robin, Franky and Zoro too! Sanji will need all of our help to get better so the sooner we get to Wano, the sooner I can get my meat!"
Groans were heard all around but the atmosphere wasn't as dark as before even if the reasoning was ridiculous.
Their captain has spoken and now they follow.
"I'll navigate, Brook can you steer? And Carrot, can you be on the lookout in case any more of Big Mom's followers are still chasing us." Nami took charge of assigning task as usual and everyone nodded happily, glad to be able to have a goal to move towards to.
"On it!" Everyone hop to their stations and assumed their assigned tasks. Chopper went back to the infirmary to take care of the unconscious chef while Luffy remained where he was and stared up into the skies where his Jolly Roger flies high and proud.
"Shishishi~ My crew is the best!" Luffy laughed to himself with a big, wide grin.
With Nami navigating, she estimates that it'll take approximately a week to get to Wano and they could do nothing but heal and rest up for the unknown adventures ahead.
Sanji stayed inside the infirmary for the first 2 days to recover and on the third, Chopper finally let him back to the kitchen to cook but only with supervision from one of them.
The blond had said nothing much with only an occasional word such as 'yes' or 'no' or his recurring word: 'Sorry'. He smiled at them all the time when they visited him but they can all see through his fake smiles and the pain behind his blue eyes.
They all didn't know how to act around him; they didn't want to upset him any further by saying the wrong thing but they also wanted to help. It was like they were treading on eggshells around him and they're afraid something might set him off on another quick dive into the ocean floor again.
So with this awkwardness in the air, the atmosphere got really heavy and soon they couldn't handle it anymore and left the room; each feeling guilty in their own way.
Nami locked herself up in her room to cry while Carrot tried to console her but to no avail. Brook seemed to be working hard on some musical scores to perk souls up and Chopper was intent on reading up about psychology in order to be of help to his friend.
Only Luffy was the only one who still acts like his usual normal self around the blond. He pestered him for meat, pulled him along to catch some fish for him to cook and even stayed behind to wash dishes with him—something that he rarely does.
Throughout all this, Sanji didn't even once get mad at the rubber boy but silently went with whatever Luffy asked and did so like a robot on orders.
Despite Luffy's efforts, Sanji was not getting better at all. He looked tired all the time and his eyes were always so distant and glazed with dark circles underneath. Even Luffy can tell things are not going so good for Sanji.
"Nami, are we there yet?"
Nami made a noise of exasperation and shook her head. "That's like the 10th time you've asked me that question today Luffy! And my answer is still no. We still have to sail for approximately 4 more days at most."
Nami continue prattling about the weather conditions and ocean currents and whatnot but Luffy wasn't listening anymore.
He was staring at where his chef is siting; he was with Chopper on the swing with the little doctor sitting on his lap with a book in hand. Sanji was smiling gently—a beautiful smile in Luffy's opinion—at Chopper while the reindeer read to him.
He seems relaxed. Luffy noted. Which is a good thing because Luffy noticed that the Cook was always tense and constantly tired. Luffy wishes he could do more for his nakama but right now all he could think of is to get to Wano as soon as possible and get the crew together to think of a solution. After all, they are always stronger together and not apart.
The entrance to Wano was not an easy one; riding a giant waterfall upwards was a interesting experience but not when you have an angry Yonko chasing after you.
Luffy could once again see the guilt on Sanji's face when they saw that Big Mom was on them. She was relentless in her chase to get revenge on the Strawhats for her humiliation on her territory.
The face of an angry giant Yonko is not easy to forget and their ship has already taken a heavy beating the first time round.
Luckily for them, a school of gigantic kois' overturned their ship, scattering all the members overboard along with Big Mom.
It was really satisfying to see the huge woman fall off the ship and into the dangerous sea; especially when they knew she is a devil fruit user.
But they had no time to be relieved as the Sunny started being tossed around by the fishes and they each struggled to hold on and not get toss overboard.
Luffy took a quick look around to see if everyone's still onboard. Nami and Brook were clutching onto the steering wheel with their dear life and trying to steer them to safer waters but to no avail. He saw Carrot near the stairs, struggling for balance as the ship swayed side to side.
And some distance away at the helm of the Sunny, there was Sanji with Chopper safely tucked in his arms. The sight of it made Luffy's heart warm. Even after everything he's been through, his heart is always for his nakama. Like that time with the Pacifica, or the time at Drum Island with the Snow Rabbits, or even that time when he took a direct lighting attack for Usopp.
Ever the self-sacrificing idiot, he keeps hurting himself to protect others. When will he ever understand that instead of feeling grateful for the save, he's hurting them even more.
No one would be happy when someone gets hurt. No one.
But in their line of work, injures are bound to happen, still Luffy is willing to carry a few more wounds if it means getting everyone to safety. It's his job to protect the crew as the captain and every time when Sanji does something stupidly self-sacrificing, it hurt Luffy the most because it just means that Luffy wasn't strong enough to protect them, not quick enough.
He knows it couldn't stop Sanji from getting injured, but he just wish the fool would think more about his own well-being before trying to save others.
He needs to let Sanji know that he is love by everyone in this crew and no one here would like to see him get hurt, even if it means rescuing someone else.
He just needs to find a way to get that through Sanji's thick skull but first, he needs to survive being thrown overboard first.
Luffy woke up with sand in his mouth and the sun baring down on his back. He groggily looked around him and saw he was lying on a sandy beach. Beside him lies the Sunny; lying on its side like it's been tossed out of the ocean.
Luffy quickly got up to his feet and ran to the Sunny, worry on his mind for his nakama. He stretched his arm and grab hold of the ship's railing before shooting himself over. Landing on his feet, he swept a glance over the deck and was relieved to see Carrot, Nami and Brook lying on their backs, looking very much worn out but nevertheless alive.
"You stupid bone-head! Did you forget you're a devil user?!" Nami screeched and threw a quick punch on Brook's head. The skeleton only laughed tiredly and muttered a 'I forgot!', earning an exasperated groan from the Navigator.
"Hey, where's Sanji?" Luffy asked and looked around some more, seeing no sign of the blond anywhere on the ship.
"Sanji!!"
Chopper's distress shout made everyone jump and quickly rushed towards his voice.
Luffy found Chopper and Sanji a few meters away from the ship. Chopper's fur was all wet with seawater and it looks like he was bleeding but right now Luffy was more concerned over why he was sobbing over Sanji's still body.
He hurried over with the rest of the crew following behind and as he got closer, he saw that the blood on Chopper was not his, but Sanji's.
"....L-Luffy....." Chopper's broken voice got his attention and he forced his eyes away from Sanji to look at Chopper.
"H-he....protected...me.. He u-used his body as a shield for me....." Chopper sobbed.
Luffy immediately knew what happened; Sanji did it again.
He protected his nakama by using his own body and hurt himself in the process—again.
Why? Why must he always be the one to suffer like that? Does his life not matter to him at all? That idiot...
As angry as Luffy is at Sanji right now, he needed to quickly get him fixed up first above all else.
"Chopper, this is no time to be crying. Sanji did it for you, are you just going to efforts go to waste?"
Chopper flinched at Luffy's words but know that Luffy was saying it because it was true. This was no time to be crying. Every minute wasted is dangerous.
Turning into his heavy point, he swiftly scooped Sanji up in his arms and made for the infirmary with Luffy following behind.
Hours passed before Chopper finally came out of the infirmary with a tired look. Everyone stared at him for answers and Chopper opened his mouth tiredly and explained.
"When the ship capsized, I fell overboard and Sanji dived after me. But the ocean currents were too strong and we were flung all over the place. I wasn't hurt though....because Sanji shielded me from the debris and something hit him on the head hard, resulting in a minor concussion. I patched it up now and he's going to be fine once he wakes and have plenty of rest." Chopper explained with a solemn expression.
"But?" Nami added and Chopper looked at her with a puzzled expression.
"There's a 'but' behind what you're going to say right?"
"....Um....." Chopper shifted his weight and looked at the ground in hesitation before taking a deep breath.
"Concussion may sometimes be quite serious if not carefully monitored. His injury seems to be a minor one but head wounds are difficult to determine how serious the damage is inside. All we can do now is wait for him to wake up on his own and then I can take the proper steps to help him get better."
The rest of the crew nodded in understanding except for Luffy who just nodded with a constipated frown which meant that he did not get any of what Chopper said. But that was to be expected of Luffy so the crew started on the important tasks such as exploring the island and searching for the rest of their crew.
Nami took charge as usual and gave orders to the crew; Chopper will stay on the Sunny to take care of Sanji, Brook and Carrot will go into town to search for their crew mates and lastly, Nami and Luffy will explore the area just to be safe.
Everyone split up to carry out their respective tasks with enthusiasm but also keeping in mind the risks. They are currently in an unknown land that is said to be unwelcoming to visitors and a crazy Yonko residing somewhere on this island, until they gather their forces together, it's best to stay low.
Of course, that's what any smart person would think but Luffy is nowhere near smart and mostly relies on his gut instincts. Right as they set off, he flung himself and Nami off the Sunny and straight into the middle of the forest ahead of them.
Chopper could only winced as he watched the two fly off into the distance with Nami's screams trailing behind them. After everyone had left the Sunny, Chopper sat near the infirmary door, listening to Sanji's slow rhythmic breathing and keeping a look out for any enemies approaching the Sunny.
As the youngest on the crew, he easily gets frightened at every little thing but he was always able to overcome his fears because his crew is with him and he trusts they'll never let anything bad happen to him. But now that everyone's separated and he has an injured nakama to protect, his doubts are starting to come back and haunt him.
He shook his head and slapped both cheeks hard.
No! Luffy and the rest are counting on me! Sanji is always protecting me so this time I'm going to be the one that protects him! He thought in fierce determination.
Hopping up to his feet, he decided to make more of his rumble balls so he'll be ready for any future fights ahead.
The trees ahead moved and Chopper quickly stilled. His ears flicked back and forth to listen for any signs of danger but when another loud footstep sounded, Chopper relaxed with a smile because he knew who that heavy footsteps belongs to.
"—never should have let you lead!" Nami was yelling at the green-haired Swordsman who ignored her and stared right at the Sunny.
Usopp and Franky ran ahead of them in tears at the sight of their beloved ship which was now broken and burnt in many areas.
"NOO!! My poor Sunny!! Who did this to you?!" Franky cried while a silent Robin stood beside him and placed a comforting hand on the cyborg's shoulder.
"Sunny!!!" Usopp cried out too but was interrupted by Chopper.
"Zoro, Usopp, Franky, Robin! I miss you guys so much!!!!" Chopper ran down from the ship and jumped into Usopp's arms with tears all over his furry face.
"Miss you too buddy." Usopp patted the little reindeer's head and looked towards the Sunny with a sad look.
"What happened?"
"Big Mom happened." Nami said with a solemn expression.
"Yikes....And you still managed to get away from her after so much damage?"
"Jinbe and his crew helped. Without them, we never would have made it out of Big Mom's territory alive..." Nami wrapped her arms around herself and shuddered when she thought back on how close they were to getting totally annihilated by the hunger-crazed giant. She never want to go through anything that horrifying again, but seeing that Luffy's planning on taking down Kaido next, she was sure she'd have to face something like that again.
"I don't see Jinbe-san around. Same as Cook-san." Robin observed and turned to them with a questioning look.
Nami looked away whereas Chopper started sobbing again. Brook was about to step in to explain but Luffy stopped him.
"We'll explain inside. There's a lot to talk about so we better sit down." Luffy said with an uncharacteristic seriousness on his face.
The rest of the crew knew something was very wrong but nevertheless followed their captain's instructions and jumped aboard the Sunny.
Now that they are on it, they can fully see the extent of the damage the Sunny sustained from the battle. Franky gave another mournful cry at the state of his beloved Sunny.
The kitchen was partially destroyed; the roof ripped open as though someone tore through it and the rest of the ceiling still intact had burnt marks on them. The sails were also burnt and the sides of the ship were also badly damaged.
"I'm amazed you all managed to arrive in Wano in one piece." Robin remarked.
"Sunny protected us well, but in the end it was mainly because the Sun pirates and Germa that helped us get away." Nami explained.
"The Germa?!" Usopp exclaimed. "You mean those bastards that took Sanji?!"
"Yeah. The same." Nami nodded.
"I see." Robin frowned. "Come. Let head to the kitchen so we can have a proper discussion. I have a feeling you all have a lot to say about your trip."
There was only silence in the half-destroyed room as everyone tried to digest the whole load of information they got on both sides.
On Robin's side, the group had managed to gather a few allies who were still loyal to the original lord and even managed to gather info on the potential threats that they'd have to face in the near future.
On Luffy's side, they explained everything that happened in Whole Cake Island to how they escaped and as expected, there were obvious shock when they got to the part where the Germa army protected them and how Jinbe and his crew were left behind in order to pave the way out for the Strawhats.
"OW! Sounds like you guys had one hell of an adventure!" Franky exclaimed.
"If Big Mom is as tough as you say she is, I'd love to take her on." Zoro smirked.
"The hell you are!" Nami shouted and whacked the idiot on the head, earning a growl from the Swordsman.
"So if you got Sanji back then where is he?" Usopp asked and immediately a few knowing members of the crew looked away, their faces a mask of sorrow.
Usopp and the others caught their look and grew worried.
"What is it guys? What happened?"
".....Sanji-kun.....he....." Nami started but trailed off when words failed her. How could she explain something as complicated as this? She doesn't know how the others would react to the news and she definitely do not want them to accidentally say something to hurt the blond further.
"Sanji's hurt. Bad." Luffy cut in.
"How bad?" Franky asked.
Luffy hesitated but Chopper took over the explanation. "He was hit hard in the head. He's unconscious right now but he'll be fine once he gets lots of rest. I'll inform you again once he's up."
"Shit-Cook must be off his game if he can't even avoid an injury like that." Zoro snorted.
"It's not like that!" Chopper turned and glared angrily at the Swordsman who was a little taken aback by the little reindeer's sudden temper.
Chopper quickly cooled off and his expression turned guilty. "I'll go check on Sanji....." he mumbled and hurriedly took off.
Zoro raised a questioning eyebrow at the weird behavior and looked towards Luffy for an explanation.
Luffy just shook his head silently, telling the Swordsman that now's not the right time for this and Zoro just shrugged his shoulders as if it didn't bother him at all.
The others caught the awkward atmosphere and were silent with their own thoughts. It wasn't until Chopper came barging back in that everyone quickly stood up,wondering what could have rattled the little doctor so much.
".....Sanji! He's....He's awake!" Chopper cried with relief.
Luffy grinned widely and quickly hopped to his feet with glee.
"Sanji!!!!" He yelled and went running towards the infirmary with a screaming Chopper at his heels.
"Yay! Sanji!!" Carrot hopped up and followed after the two along with a puzzled Usopp and a curious Robin.
"I'm so glad...." Nami sniffed while Brook laughed in relief.
"Was his injury that bad?" Franky looked to the two, seeing their relieve expressions and wondering just how close to death did the Cook get.
"Yeah. You could say that." Nami answered.
Chopper didn't let everyone into the infirmary in fear of accidentally upsetting the blond. Besides Luffy and Nami, Chopper made everyone wait outside while the three of them prepare Sanji for what's to come.
".....So you found them?" Sanji's voice was broken and rough, having not use them in a while. Chopper quickly handed over a glass of water which Sanji gratefully accepted.
"Yeah. It wasn't that hard to find them. Especially since our crew don't understand the meaning of lying low." Nami sighed exasperatedly.
Sanji gave a humorless chuckle at that and proceeded to get up.
"Sanji no! You just regained consciousness!" Chopper quickly put one hoof on Sanji's shoulder and pushed him back onto the bed. "You need to rest more!"
Sanji opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it, his eyes becoming distant and empty, just like how he was before when he started to retreat back into his shell.
"SANJI!!" Luffy shouted, making everyone in the room including Sanji jump. "The others are all waiting outside to see you! They'll be so glad you're awake!"
Sanji seems to have problems focusing his gaze on Luffy but after a moment, light seems to come back to his eyes and he nodded once.
"I'd love to see them again too...." he whispered under his breath but in the quietness of the room, everyone heard it.
"I'll go get them." Carrot energetically ran for the door and after a while Chopper quickly followed, most likely to warn the others outside not to be too loud in the infirmary.
Footsteps sounded as the crew all gathered into the infirmary with Franky and Brook hanging by at the door since the room wasn't spacious enough to hold all of them.
One look at Sanji and they all stilled.
Sanji gave a wavering smile that was obviously forced and fidgeted under their gaze. He casts his eyes downwards, ashamed to meet their's. He really wanted to see them again. But now that he did, he didn't know what to say or what to do. He was starting to feel uncomfortable as they stared at him with disbelief and he wished the bed he was lying on would just open up and eat him whole.
Robin was the first to break the awkward silence by walking up to the blond. Sanji looked up when she walked near and opened his mouth to speak.
"I'm so—"
But before he could finished that, he was cut off by the unexpected hug that the Archaeologist gave which shocked most of the people in the room.
"You have nothing to apologize for. I'm just glad you're here with us." She whispered into his ear before straightening up again and walking to the side of the room casually.
Usually by this point, Sanji would be a mess of hearts and drool right about now. Instead, he was just stunned like the rest of the crew.
When Robin first wrapped her arms around him, he felt calm.
He had forgotten the comforting touch of what human contact can do and the feeling of warmth that comes with it. He had forgotten what nakama is and the people who fought by his side.
He had forgotten what it means to be accepted and loved.
All the incident with Big Mom and the Germa did was bring back unwanted memories and terror from his childhood. Terror that he has never gotten over but only pushed somewhere deep away inside his mind. Now it threatens to overwhelm him; drowning him in suffocating emotions and making him so very very tired.
Even the reassurance of his nakama by his side was not enough to anchor him and all he could do was try as hard as he could to act normal.
To be normal. To be someone wanted.
At least that's what he thought before he felt the arms of someone who cares for him.
He finally lifted his head and took a good look around the room.
All his nakama is here, surrounding him with smiles even though their eyes held concern.
He knows—he knows in his head that his nakama will always be there to help him if he asks, but that's easier said than done.
What should he say? How was one suppose to talk about this sort of things?
He didn't know. But he was damn well going to try. He owe it to them to at least try after what they did for him.
"Thanks Robin-chan..." He said softly and gave her a smile. A smile that felt natural to him and easy to come to his lips instead of those fake smiles he gotten used to showing.
"Anytime Cook-san. You've gave me so much. And now I'm just returning the favor." She returned the smile warmly, her eyes filled with genuine love for him. Not the same love he has for her, but it is love all the same.
"You gotta take better care of yourself, Cook-bro. Who'll cook such exceptionally delicious meals for us if you're sick? I don't want to have to eat Usopp's tasteless eggs." Franky scrunched up his face at the mention of the eggs, leading to Usopp shouting an annoyed 'Oi!' at him.
"Will do Franky. Thanks." Sanji chuckled, this time with more life than before.
"I heard you had quite a battle." Usopp spoke up next. "Why, if I known I'd had sent my army of 80,000 followers to help you fight but it seems like you handled it well, as expected of a Strawhat!" Usopp tried to sound like his usual haughty self but everyone in the room could see how hard he was trying to cheer the chef up.
"Thanks Usopp." Sanji chuckled again, this time with light coming back to his dull eyes.
"Yohohoho! In all my years of living, I've never seen a man as selfless as you Sanji-san. And even though I'm dead, I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to be able to meet and fight alongside with you. So please, treat yourself better." Brook said, his tone has none of his usual jolly tone but one of seriousness.
"....Y-Yeah....I'll try Brook. Thank you...."
Carrot hopped towards Sanji next and held his hands in her tightly.
"Sanji, you saved my home. You saved my friends. You cooked delicious soup for us! And you did all that without even knowing who we were." Her eyes teared up but she looked determined.
"Sanji, you're my savior. So please, treat yourself better..."
This time, Sanji just nodded. Tears pricked at his eyes but he refused to let it fall. He still have a manly reputation to keep, especially in front of a certain rival.
"SANJI!!!" Chopper lunged his little furry body at the blond and he caught him with a bit of effort due to his weak state.
"Sanji!!" Chopper stuffed his face into the crook of Sanji's neck, sniffling. "Don't ever do something like that again! I promise I'll do whatever it takes to make you better so please don't scare us like that again!" He wailed and Sanji could only hug him tightly and try as hard as he could to not feel overwhelmed with emotions.
After a long moment of silence with only the sound of sniffling filling the room. When Chopper finally calmed down, Sanji gently let him down onto the floor with a pat to his head and Chopper reached up to plant a small kiss on Sanji's cheeks before scurrying away in embarrassment.
Luffy stepped up next. His hat was covering his eyes and arms crossed. Sanji understood what that meant; his captain is angry.
And he should be shouldn't he?
After all, disrespecting the captain is the number one offense in piracy. Many people will get killed for that behavior and if they're lucky enough, maybe kicked off the crew. When Usopp did it, he had almost been kicked off the crew till he apologized. But then again, he did it for Merry—for his precious nakama. But Sanji did it for his own wishes. He did it knowing full well the consequences for his actions. He did it knowing Luffy would not get it until he hit it through his thick skull.
He'd known what he was doing. And he wasn't going to make any excuses for his actions.
Whatever his captain plans to do with him, he'll accept it. It's the last thing he could do as a member of the Strawhats.
"Sanji."
Sanji almost flinched hearing the strong authority in his captain's voice but he forced himself to look up at Luffy, to face his captain one last time.
Luffy took a deep breath.
"Sanji. Listen carefully to what I have to say. None of it—and I mean—none of it, was your fault. It was our decision to go after you. It was our decision to fight. So don't you start putting blame on yourself.
Sanji opened his mouth to say the one thing he could say.
"I'm so—"
"Don't." Luffy cut him off with a firm shake of his head. "You have nothing to apologize for. Nothing."
Luffy squatted down till he was eye-level with Sanji and stared into his eyes while he continues.
"Sanji, I don't know what happened during your childhood nor do I know what the Germa had done to you. I don't know and I do not need to know. The only thing that matters to me now is the Sanji I see right before me now. I don't know what lies they've been saying when they say you're useless or that you're weak."
Sanji flinched at those words even though he knew it was not for him but he hated how his body reacted to it and he was sure the others saw it too.
Luffy continued as though he didn't see anything.
"That's not you. Not anymore. Here, let me tell you about the Sanji I know."
Sanji was puzzled by what his captain was saying. 'The Sanji he knows? Is he as clumsy and useless as they say he is?' He can't help but think.
"The Sanji I know of is the one who has been with me since I first came crushing into the old man's room. The Sanji I know is one who feeds me my favorite food even when he's mad. The Sanji I know is always mindful of others' needs even if that means neglecting his own. The Sanji I know is always full of spirit and treats everyone he meets with smiles. I love that Sanji and I hope he'll come back to us whenever he's ready. We'll all be here for you."
Luffy ended the talk with a firm hand on Sanji's shoulders and Sanji could only hang his head down in shame. Just what did he do to deserve such kind words? After all that he did....
He just doesn't understand.
Luffy was about to walk away when Sanji lifted his head tiredly and croaked out a soft plea.
"L-Luffy....I-I don't understand.....Why?"
He had to ask. Had to know. He thought he'll never be forgiven for all his treasonous acts and words. Hell—even his own mind doesn't want to forgive him even though he tried justifying it with reasons and yet all that just sounded like a lame excuse.
"Why?" Luffy titled his head with a frown.
"Why are you being so nice to me!" He burst out, unable to hold in the questions swarming in his head. "After all I've done....After all the trouble I caused....."
He feels suffocated. The amount of guilt in him was too much. How could they just forgive him like that? All the voices in his head is screaming at him that he doesn't deserve any of this, that he should be punished.
Waste of space
Get out of my sight
Trash
You're not my son.
Voices started to invade his mind again—voices of his so-called father that he could never forget no matter how hard he tries.
Pathetic
Useless
Suddenly, he was enveloped in a cocoon of warmth that drowned every other voice out of his head and the only voice he could hear is his captain's.
"You are definitely not useless silly Sanji. You are so many things. You are a survivor, a warrior, a victor, a womanizer, a first-class chef and a member of the infamous Strawhat Crew!" Luffy laughed, a nice rumbling sound in his chest that Sanji felt as Luffy's whole body wrapped around him in a heart-felt embrace.
After a moment or two, Luffy unwrapped himself from Sanji, standing up and smiling softly at him. "You are my precious nakama. And I'm going to remind you that fact everyday till you get it in your thick skull."
Sanji could only chuckle, not knowing what to say in this situation. It's just so like Luffy to say this to him after everything he did. He never expect his captain to be so open with him and Luffy just know what the right words to say that made the insides of Sanji warm and light. It was like his burdens got banish just like that and it left him feeling weird and giddy.
He never thought that someone in this world would accept someone as mess up as him—as useless as him. But yet, he was so wrong. Right before him, this boy—no—this man, the man who would be pirate king is standing in front of him and accepting every part of him. He forgave him for his disrespect and even pulled him out of his self-guilt.
At that moment, he swear deep within him that he'll do whatever it takes to make this man's dream come true. He'll see to it that Luffy will become the pirate King even if he has to give his life for it.
The happy moment was broken when Chopper guiltily cleared his throat and called for everyone's attention.
"Um, Sanji needs to rest now and I still have to check on his vitals. We can continue this later."
Everyone filed out of the infirmary with Luffy and Chopper staying behind.
"Don't worry Sanji! Everyone loves you! I'm sure things will be back to usual soon!" Luffy brightly assured and Sanji wondered if Luffy's a mind reader or maybe his thoughts were just transparent.
As much as he's relieved that Luffy has forgiven him and everything seems like it's okay, there's still two people who throughout the whole conversation, didn't speak or even look in Sanji's direction at all.
Sanji knows it won't be easy to earn their forgiveness, especially to his beloved goddess. He'd done such a horrible thing—to purposely insult and scare her even though she was only trying to get him back.
He continued to stew in his own thoughts even after Chopper reassured him over and over that everyone is not mad at him but it all fell onto deaf ears.
Zoro was sure to hate him. He knows it.
The man values loyalty and respect and he had broke both of that by leaving the crew and picking a fight with their captain when he came to bring him back.
He broke everyone's trust and put the whole crew in danger. Zoro will never let him get away with it without some sort of punishment. As much as it sucks to have your rival disappointed in you, it sucks just as much to have to apologize to him for your actions.
With a deep weary sigh, he pull the sheets over his head and buried himself deep into the warm covers of the bed. With everything that had happened over the past hour, he felt drained and exhausted beyond words.
As soon as he closed his eyes, his mind drifted off into sleep.