Chapter Text
chan drifted around the world, mindlessly swirling with the pollen, dancing with the leaves. he had never traveled so far before, despite living his life wandering in the empty void. he never thought about what else there was, if there was anything else to his life. he simply stayed, a single soul on the earth, in his own gently purgatory. he went person to person, barely grazing their surface, just a background character in the movie of earth. no, he wasn't brainwashed, he wasn't braindead, he was just... there.
some part of him yearned to feel more, yearned to expand his horizons, simply one atom among millions, billions. nobody there to hold him tight, to catch the water that dripped between his fingers, the wind going through his hair the same way he goes through day by day; just floating through.
life was neither dull nor exciting, life was life. never loved, never lost, it was simply something to keep his mind alive. he had a heartbeat, content with no worries. ignorance was bliss, anyway, or so he was told. his only purpose was to be another in society, another speckle on a painting, another beating, moving being to complete the puzzle. all was well. never thought about a heaven, never thought of a hell. all he was to be is existence. drifting, floating, his mind merely a comet in the galaxy, a grain of salt in the ocean.
chan then met him. he was beautiful, tall and fluid, birthed from the unseen caves of the ocean. his gaze tugged at his heart like the ocean pulling at his ankles, slowly burying his feet in the smooth and gently caress of the current. he named himself joshua, showing the boy the sea, the ocean, the beauty of moonlight and the small things to enjoy. he was fluid, love unyielding as they dance in the sea, angular eyes picking at every beautiful detail to share with the younger. they swam, the stars rippling off the gentle ocean breeze and his smooth, tan skin, reflecting the beauty that was within.
joshua was, what one could only describe at ethereal. he had a voice of molasses, letting his body float in the gentle touches of his fingertips. he held him like he was weightless, throwing him in the air, teaching him to swim, to see the beauty. the two gave endless love, so fast and beautiful, the rings of saturn would be envious. together, they floated through the sea. no longer floating with pollen, no longer dancing with the leaves, instead he floated with the stingrays, meeting the fish, seeing the beauty, drifting and dancing with the beasts that yearned for just understanding.
it was breathtaking, the new life he found, the new purpose. his old life seemed redundant, finding the beauty of detail, the worries washed away by the soothing saltwater. maybe chan does not have a destiny, maybe he does not have a true motive, but he has garnered a new way to live. joshua was his best friend, taking him to explore everywhere, to see the mundane beauty that the normal eye skimmed over on a daily basis.
there was a day, one day, where joshua wasn't there. a sickness, he supposes, as chan visited the familiar crystallized caves he was first taken to when he was plucked from the air. as he traveled through the sea, he came across a feather. a beautiful, stark white feather, and he found more as he walked along the path. the curiosity massaged his brain, whispering soft words in the honey-like voice of joshua to follow the trail. and, he did.
chan followed, running into the rash sting of wind, whipping and speeding and swirling in a chaotic yet eloquent pattern. feathers with patterns, stripes, and every color imaginable took him off his feat like a tornado. he was no longer in the gentle sea, instead he was in the rushing wind. the wind spun everything, details disappearing to articulate paintings with such ferocity and elegance. he was soaring, flying over the skies, a calloused hand leading him, it's owner like an angel upon the earth.
he wasn't joshua, he was different. no detail, only big picture. no hesitance, just try.
"you'll always regret what isn't tried," he had said, and took the boy on adventures.
he had a cotton voice, soft and plush, showing the beauty and adrenaline of the world. jeonghan, is his name, the bird that carries him and shows him to fly. he flies with grace, with speed, and with intent. theres no hesitating, there's no calculating- just go. together, the wind danced around them, they laughed until breath was no longer, spending every drop of energy in chasing the sun and moon around the world. he felt the heat of the stars on his back, the coolness of the wind keeping him grounded, simply flying through and enjoying the big picture.
tornadoes frolicked through the planet, driven with speed and destiny, and chan was carrying the birds, the pollen, the leaves. he was no longer being carried, he was the carrier, exploring every crevice without stopping to smell- he would simply take the flowers and think of the adventures later.
although jeonghan taught him the gratifying impulses of life, there was always a line. a line that neither joshua or jeonghan had crossed, and chan never dared to either. instead, he soared the sky, between heaven and hell, tasting the clouds and smelling the sky, nosing his way into exhilaration. the rush, the high, the flying, it gave him another way to live his life.
he was warned of the thunderstorms, the snow that cut through cheeks like light through the slices of the clouds. there was hesitance, hearing the stories of birds crushed on the windshield behind the steering wheel, but something ever so tempting teased his senses day by day. and, so, in the darkest of the night, he flew. he soared, ink staining his retinas and the glittering pelt of the galaxy guiding his way. he ran his hands through the stars, watching planets swirl around his fingers, like the oceans he used to dance in. he floated high above the earth, in a euphoria, seeing a glimpse of heaven with hell just a remnant of folktale.
he swam in the sky, floating like he had been trained for years, breeze of ice-cold clouds drifting past him and whispering encouragement into his newborn ears. he saw the world, seeing everything there was to see, taking the small happiness of details and the beauty of the picture, but it seems the warnings were right. the storm swept the poor, unsuspecting boy into its arms, yanking at his skin and drawing icicle-like claws across his skin. his wings faltered, the fins freezing, and chan hurtled to the ground.
he crashed headfirst into the mountains, snow freezing every capillary inside his body, turning the blood into slush. he was frozen, stuck in the horizon like the purgatory he used to wander with no aim.
perhaps this is the end, he had thought, a beautiful life, and a little too much risk.
he lay in the snow, shivering but content, seeing nothing but the dead end he had created for himself. he told himself it was okay, despite the longing he felt to explore more. it would be alright.
and chan closed his eyes, the whipping snow creating a blanket to hold him, frozen in this moment.
the snow was warm, enclosing him in a mothers embrace, kissing his head with every whisp of the wind. the snow lulled him away from reality, gentle singing warming his head and bringing his blood back to life. it was odd, when he opened his eyes, the brightness that blinded his sliver pupils. his bones creaked from the cold, no longer a blanket of snow wrapping him, but a woolen blanket. he put his arm over his eyes, ears numb and full of whispers from the snow and the clouds, trying to adjust to the new surroundings he was brought to.
a few moments passed, but chan eventually saw a gentle smile. warmth radiated from him, starkly contrasting from the snow, like a fire in a log cabin. his hands were hot, like steaming showers and eyes full of bright glittering stars. he was the snow, the sky, the stars. he had the warmth of the sun in his smile, the sparkling intensity of the stars above the clouds, the gentle hold of the sky. a tooth caught on his lip brewing steaming lemon tea to rejuvenate the boy.
the ocean was there with him, and the angel that showed him heaven, and now the stars to complete the universe.
"it's okay," the galaxy had murmured, pushing gentle dark locks off his forehead, "you can rest,"
mingyu gave the snaggle-toothed smile, letting chan drift into the lovely abyss that was his embrace. and, thus, chan became part of his solar system, gazing at the sun that radiated from his person, the ocean and sky surrounding him like the perfect cushion. days flew by, and chan was met with more people- more excitement, learning about the grass and the flowers and the bugs and everything there was to offer. he was experiencing the true meaning of life, people cherishing him and loving him and showing him from the smallest cell in the planet to the largest view of the galaxy.
he grew and grew, the pack he found entwining their vines in a protective barrier around the naive, reminding him of the friends he creating, the things he learned. it was his true life, this, this was what life was about. the friendship, the love, the warmth, the galaxy. he found his people, the ones he truly gained strength from. he grew from a simple parasite to a being that has experienced all, and has found endless ways to live his life-
well... almost.
he met him. no, not just any him, not the ocean, the sky, or the stars- him. so much more. the moment their eyes met, there was an unexplained feeling in his chest, fire burning ablaze in his heart, thumping and pounding like his hands on a wooden door. he wasn't just the dancing of the reef around, he wasn't just the clouds smoothing his hair, he wasn't just the stars he bathed in- he was everything. everything chan had ever wanted. he was the perfect being, and reached to him with such a gentle nature, he didn't seem real.
their hands met for the first time, and it was euphoric. his cheeks grew to reveal a dazzling, contagious smile, warmer than any forest fire he had ever seen. it made his heard swim, just like the ocean, the fluidity of his movements and his dancing swirling like the current of his past. his laugh was music, beautiful noise that stole the breath straight from his lungs- stole the oxygen from his blood. his eyes held the stars- no, his eyes held the suns of the universe, his hair glittering in the moonlight from the stars dusted onto him.
he was the only one chan could see, the only one who could understand him, the only one to be so perfect, to ethereal, so.. so beautiful there wasn't a word to properly describe.
he felt things he never felt before with him- soonyoung. felt the taste of pleasure, selfish pleasure that did nothing but please them. he felt the rush, the exhilaration jeonghan had shown him, but in much more intimate and beautiful ways. soonyoung offered the boy the reddest apple he'd ever seen, and there was not a single thought of wanting to say no before he bit it. the dreams he saw at night came alive, flashing against his eyelids, truly ascending to heaven and feeling the realness, the rawness--
his entire life became a non-stop rush, an adventure, his system being flooded with the most pleasurable sensations he'd ever had the joy of experiencing. they ran, they swam, they floated, they tasted the stars, they bit through the clouds, they did the impossible, hand in hand, heartbeats thumping against one another.
he would see his glowing eyes across the way, enticing him, inviting him in for another touch, another adventure. he was addicting, the world rippling from black and white to the most explosive of colors when they were together. his world was no longer a pearl sealed in the bed of a clam, instead he was the seer of the galaxy, jumping and running from one reality to another, as if he could exist in multiple universes.
chan doesn't know when, or how, but he remembers sitting on cool stone, the galaxy painting the backdrop of their life, and gazing at the older with an undefinable feeling, and something struck him.
he was in love.
"forever, my love. we will be the forever to outlive the universe, and every reality from the start of time until the end."
and they lived like that. every day, another universe. another name, another person, another everything. it was a rush, running and never stopping. but, with love always comes doubt. the heaven they created, it couldn't last forever, no matter how long or how desperately they wanted it to stay. behind the euphoria they lived in, the time would have to unveil the truth. the heaven hurtled to the ground, threatening to break through the purgatory he had lived what seemed like lifetimes ago. it sailed, the truth coming out, breaking the crust of every earth they ever adventured, going and joining into the same hell.
there, they landed in the devil's seat, a glowing halo around chan's head as nothing floated around soonyoungs. they saw the man, a foreign boy, who just from looking, one could tell he embodied the most sinful bodies known to all. envy flowed from him like ice-cold tidal waves on the side of a broken ship. it stuck into chan's heart the moment they crashed through the final layer and made an entrance into their hell. there was greed, envy, an insatiable lust for nothing more than destruction.
chan had never experienced such hate, never felt such ruin from one being, or even in general.
"minghao," soonyoung spoke cooly, giving a name to the devil's face, angular eyes glaring through him and straight to the angel that gripped onto soonyoung's hand.
it was like soonyoung wasn't real, he hadn't ever existed, and a sad, pitiful part of chan believed it for a moment-
smack.
a red handprint lay on the cheek of the devil, who merely turned back and gave an ominous chuckle. if every person chan had ever met embodied something, the man they fell to embodied pure and unforgiving hate. he embodied the darkest depths of the ocean, the ones never dared to be explored, which held the souls of unfortunate victims who drowned and fell. it held the hurricanes and whipping wind that ruined the lives of millions across every thinkable universe. it held the frozen bodies in snow pits, the stranded victims of unaccomplished hikes. it held the true embodiment of death.
and, the only thing more bloodcurdling than minghao, was the fact soonyoung didn't even care. that soonyoung dared to disrespect, to cause harm, to the man who controls all death.
yet, soonyoung's hands grabbed his, electricity flowing in ways that chan had never even wanted to experience, electricity shocking and hurting him. he was dragged to the tunnels of the world, running to an open valley of screams and horror.
the lovers were separated, different dead, vengeful souls feeding off the evil that started to seep into the pores of their skin. chan was nothing but terrified, unmoving and watching soonyoung easily knock hate-hungry beings off his back, like they were no more than bugs. the evil that festered inside the deepest part of soonyoung's mind started to consume him, showing true colors as the souls cowered in fear in front of him.
sharp eyes turned to chan, sinking venom into his arm with a swift bite, throwing him into an ocean where he didn't know how to swim. he choked, gasping for air, seeing joshua stand above him with nothing more than a sad pity on his eyes. he coughed bubbles, feeling his bones creaking and shriveling with the density of the ocean floor consuming him. joshua hadn't ever shown him the evil that was there, he only ever knew the light dances, the swimming, the schools of fish, but this.. this demon latched onto him like a leech, filling his veins with salt water.
there was another prick, his neck being scratched and torn, suddenly able to breath, but with the consequence of no voice. no air could escape him, falling through the ocean floor and through the clouds, diving headfirst towards the cruel, unforgiving land under the sky. he rocketed past flocks of birds, too much air going through his lungs, his ribs might've burst and broken. his body was chilled, suffocating on the air with the dreadful gaze of jeonghan flying above him, never touching the ground. he was unwilling to try and save him, to try and show mercy, it was nothing that had ever happened before- yet it felt so unmistakably real.
there was a last gash, like a knife impaling his sternum, breaking and filling him with a coldness he'd never felt before. he felt like everything was turned into ice, he was trapped on the peak of a mountain, fingers painfully frozen to the edge of a mountain. his joints pulled at his body, screaming and begging to let go of the crying rocks he was frozen to. he couldn't, there wasn't anything chan could do- he was frozen, stuck to the edge, never knowing when the pain will be relieved and let go, but filled with a fear of plummeting to his death with nobody to see him. the warmth that was once in the tan boy's smile was gone, the snaggle-toothed smile mingyu wore had nothing but a sickening greed radiating from him. chan yearned for something- someone- anything, anything please, he was suffering. yet, nothing.
his cries and pleas were stuck in his throat, everything cold and numb as mingyu stared at the boy with his frozen, black frost-bitten fingers, stuck to the surface of the rock for an unknown eternity- forever.
just how long is our forever.
the thought flashed through his body, sensation after sensation, nightmare after nightmare, every gash and punch and attack from a suffering soul filling him with hate and greed. he wanted out- he wanted out, he needed out.
but, as the attacks felt relentless, there was a fade. he was left on the steaming, boiling floor, evil eyes of minghao staring at the suffering boy. his eyes felt like stone, taking all the effort chan had to look around for-
soonyoung.
he was gone. he fled, no care in the world. he left his love, his forever, to rot.
forever isn't that long after all.
chan shrunk to a size he'd never thought possible, nothing more but an ant in the grass, the hiker hovering over him with full intent to step on the nuisance. chan closed his eyes, shadows flowing over him, and expecting the crushing weight of minghao to end the pain he felt.
yet, it didn't. there was a surge, something other than pity, something other than a fear-related emotion. there was rage.
he could feel the light inside him go out, the last flicker, the last spark, sizzle into nothingness. his hand reached up, making contact with the shoe that was intended to crush the angel into nothing but dust. his eyes flashed and he could only see fury. he could only feel the pain, the hate, the sins that he endured.
a sickening smile crossed minghao's face, looking at the corrupted boy, and allowing his end to come. minghao embraced the death, feeling nothing as his soul was torn into pieces by the once-pure pearl. but, with heaven now hurled into hell, there was no way to return to his shell.
there, in the center of hell, he watched as everything pixelized around him. nothing was more but a game now, and he defeated the final boss. now, he was the final boss.