Work Text:
Kara and Lena were kissing in Kara's bedroom, but when Lena tried to deepen the kiss, Kara broke it, pulling away. Lena let out a frustrated sigh against Kara's lips as she pulled away.
"Why do you always pull away? And why do you never touch me?" Lena asked, her voice heavy with frustration.
Kara played with her own hands as she tried to come up with an excuse but she couldn't think of anything to say. How was she supposed to explain to her girlfriend that she couldn't touch her because she might crush her?
"Seriously, Kara. You don't even hold my hand! Everytime I try to reach for it you pull away like I burn!"
Kara bit her lip and continued to nervously play with her fingers. She knew she shouldn't have started dating Lena. She knew she wasn't ready. But she loved her so much… and she couldn't even hold her hand.
"I'm sorry." Kara whispered, not knowing what else to say.
Lena just let out yet another tired sigh as she stood up from Kara's bed to leave.
Kara kicked the wall of an abandoned building, breaking a huge hole on it. She always went to that place when she needed to relieve tension.
She would punch and kick the walls and then she would sit down and spend hours there, enjoying her pity party.
She broke yet another glass. The tenth so far. Just the littlest of pressure made it break into hundreds of pieces. How was she supposed to hold Lena's hand? Sure Lena's hand was not made of glass but still.
She tried something less fragile. A mug. She held it and when she closed her hand around it just a bit, it broke making her let out a frustrated scream.
She screamed for about five minutes. And then she tried again.
"Lena!" She called her girlfriend when she spotted Lena on the school's hallway.
Lena looked at her but didn't say anything. Her face was serious as she crossed her arms around her chest, waiting for Kara to get there.
"Good morning." Kara said with a smile.
"Good morning. I would give you a hug but I might burn you so I might as well don't."
"Lena…" Kara whined. "can you please not?" When Lena didn't say anything and just turned around to keep walking, Kara started walking by her side. "Do you want me to carry your backpack?"
Lena glared at her for a moment. "I'm capable of carrying my own stuff, thank you."
"Lena…"
"What?"
Kara sighed in defeat. "Nothing."
Kara could feel Lena getting more and more distant every day. She couldn't blame her. Who would want to date someone who couldn't even hold their hand?
Especially a girl like Lena. There were lots of guys and even some girls who would give anything for a chance to date her. She was popular and outgoing and everything Kara was not.
Sometimes, Kara would just sit there, watching her from afar. Watching how guys tried to hit on her. Guys who could touch her without hurting her.
It almost made her let go.
Almost.
She kept trying. With glasses and mugs and water balloons.
She walked into school with a smile on her lips. She spotted Lena by her locker and slowly walked to her, the smile never leaving her lips.
After another two long months, she finally felt ready.
When Lena started walking to class, Kara walked by her side and reached for her hand, holding it in silence. She focused on making just the right amount of pressure as she entwined their fingers.
Lena turned her head to look at her, with a surprised and slightly confused look on her face. Kara just smiled at her and watched how Lena's lips curled up in a smile of her own.
That afternoon, when they were kissing in Kara's bedroom, she held Lena's sides, pulling her closer for the first time. She could feel Lena's smile against her lips when she did that and when she risked a hug; embracing Lena warmly; Lena giggled happily. She clung to Kara, holding her by the neck and kissing her neck.
"I'm really sorry for the past months." Kara whispered as she stroked Lena's back. "I love you so much."
"I love you too." Lena said against her skin, pulling away just enough to look into Kara's eyes. "I don't know what was going on with you but I'll be here if you ever want to talk about it." She said, stroking Kara's cheek with her thumb.
Kara just nodded her head slowly, even though she knew she couldn't tell Lena what was going on with her. She was just happy she was finally able to hold her girlfriend without being afraid of hurting her. Maybe one day she would tell Lena her secret but for now, she was content with holding her in her arms.
Baby steps. That was the key.