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Kuroko stands within a short distance from the front door as he paces from one end of the hall to the other, his heart hammering in his chest and his palms slick with sweat. He pauses every so often to inhale deep lungfuls of air but it does little to calm the anxiety coursing through his veins. He listens closely to his surroundings as he waits, and despite picking up on vibrations that have previously gone unnoticed—the tick of an abandoned watch, the low purr of an open laptop, the subtle knock of a loose storm window—they're not indicative of what he's been nervously anticipating.
Kuroko smiles when he hears the measured click of Nigou's toenails against the wooden floorboards he's absentmindedly dusted with his socks. He stops and turns around to face the dog, a loyal companion who recently hit a major growth spurt, making him nearly half as tall as his blue-eyed owner. “You don't have to follow me around. I'm okay.” Kuroko crouches down and runs his hands through the thick tufts of hair that protrude from Nigou's neck. “I'm just a little nervous. That's all. Nothing I've done today has gone the way it was supposed to and I don't know if I should take that a sign or–”
Kuroko hears the slide of a key enter the lock on the front door and nearly loses his balance for the rate that he jumps back up into standing. Nigou rapidly looks around the room, and when the sound of jingling keys can be heard on the opposite side of the door, he barks and raises his hackles instinctively.
“It's okay, Nigou,” Kuroko soothes, distractedly stroking a pointed ear between his fingers as the front door comes open. A bright patch of sunlight spills down the hall and Kuroko watches innumerable dust motes float through the air before shifting his gaze to look at you. “Welcome home,” he says, smiling in a way that feels forced.
“Hi...” you answer tentatively, your brow furrowing involuntarily as you observe the scene in front of you. “Please don't tell me something's wrong. I can't handle any more bad news today.”
Kuroko frowns and there's a somber light in his eyes that runs the parallel between melancholic temperament and sympathetic affection. For a moment, it seems to fan the flames of your depression but Kuroko's devotion is like a fevered kindness and when he wraps his arms around you in a consolatory hug, the pain that's twisting like a knife in your heart doesn't hurt so bad.
“What happened?” he asks, stepping back to look at you directly.
You sigh and reach out to close a hand on Kuroko's shoulder for balance as you kick off your shoes. “It's just... Everything always seems to happen at once and I'm having a really hard time managing it all.” You don't bother putting away your sneakers and run a hand through your hair as you exhale a long-suffering sigh. “My classes are getting harder and I'm struggling with deadlines. My parents are constantly asking me when I'm going to visit. I'm struggling to pay my bills, and I can't even think about having to pay off my student loans because if I do I feel like I can't breathe,” you say, your voice shaking apart in the dark of your throat. “It's just a lot right now and I don't know how I'm going to get through all of this, and if I do, sometimes I wonder at the cost of what?” You huff a quiet breath of laughter but as soon as the oxygen sweeps across your lips, tears are collecting along the lines of your lashes and you're falling into a slump against the couch. “I'm so tired, Tetsuya. I barely sleep at night. I only remember to eat when I'm with you—and even though I'm not eating much, I've been gaining weight. I'm breaking out...” you trail off and choke on a gasp that bleeds into a wet sob. “I don't even know why you want to be with someone like me.”
You don't hear the shuffle of Kuroko's feet but when you raise you're head, he's standing next to you. He's wearing a wounded expression and bracing his hand on the delicate curve of your shoulder. “You will get through this, ____. You're strong and smart and today is just a bad day.” Kuroko ducks his head to look at you directly when you try to look away from him, not wanting him to see the red splotches that are inevitably forming on your cheeks or the dark smudge of mascara collecting beneath your eyes. “I'm here for you. No matter how heavy the burden, I will be here to help you shoulder the weight. I might not be the brawniest of men but I'm tougher than I look,” he tells you, a hopeful token that bends the pale of his lips into a small smile.
You attempt to return the gesture but the most you can manage is a sniffle. “I appreciate you trying to help but I don't know what you can do.”
Kuroko takes your face in his hands and sweeps his thumbs across the contours of your tear-stained cheeks. “I can be here for you. Let me be your support system. I might not be able to solve your problems directly but you'd be surprised at how much it helps just knowing that you're not alone. I can understand what you're going through, and maybe it would help if you didn't keep everything bottled up inside. I want you to talk to me.”
“But I don't know how to talk,” you tell him while battling with another crashing wave of despair. “Every time I talk I get confused and I don't know what to say or how to say it and then I've said too much.”
Kuroko shakes his head and dabs at your cheeks with the lower half of his shirt. “That's not true. You might think that way, but that's only your self-doubt speaking. I think you talk perfectly fine. I love hearing what you have to say. And as for what you said earlier, you haven't gained weight and your skin looks completely normal—even if you had a different body shape or a face-full of acne, I wouldn't care. I love you for who you are and I'm always going to think you're beautiful; no matter what. You're under a lot of pressure right now and these things happen. You just need to find a way to manage your stress.”
“You're not helping,” you tell him, laughing breathlessly. “You're just going to make me cry more.”
Kuroko smiles softly and tucks a section of hair behind your ear. “At least it won't be because you're sad, right?” He takes you by the hand and leads you to the front of the couch. “Sit here for a minute. I'll get you a box of tissues.”
You nearly fall onto the couch for the lack of strength in your legs but it doesn't matter because you finally feel some semblance of stability. Kuroko returns to the room almost instantly, a colorful box in one hand and a crumpled sheet of paper in the other. “Here are the tissues,” he says needlessly and hands you the box. “As for this,” he starts, unfolding the paper as he visible struggles to bite back a smile. “I was going to throw it away but I wanted to show it to you first.”
You pull a handful of tissues out of the box and try to grasp at any modicum of normalcy you can reach. You blow your nose and blot away the salt-damp stinging your eyes. You blink several times in an attempt to pull your vision back into focus and take the wrinkled paper out of Kuroko's outstretched hand.
“This looks like a grocery list,” you say, hacking when the effort results in a croak in your throat.
“It is,” Kuroko confirms, almost sadly.
“I don't understand. I mean, why are you showing it to me?” you inquire, tilting your head back to look up at him.
“I noticed that you were having a tough time lately so I wanted to surprise you,” Kuroko says, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “It just didn't go exactly as I'd planned.”
You glance back at the list and read over some of the items, a weak chuckle vibrating in your chest. “What exactly did you want to do with bubble bath and a cucumber?” you ask him, arching an eyebrow.
“I realize how indecent that sounds now that you've said it out loud,” Kuroko drawls as he thinks it over and knits his brows together. Then after a brief moment of consideration: “I wanted to give you a spa day at home. I thought that it might help you relax but I kind of messed things up.”
You remember Kuroko's expression when you walked in the door and frown, feeling guilty for ruining whatever it was that he had planned. “I'm sorry. What happened?”
Kuroko smiles as he recalls the day's earlier events and labels them as ludicrous and laughable. “Well, after I finished class this morning I called Kise-kun to tell him my plans for the day. I asked his advice on what I should buy and he gave me a list of things that he recommended,” Kuroko nods at the piece of paper you still have in your hand. “I didn't write down everything since I'm pretty sure some of what he suggested to me isn't even available here but I did jot down what I thought you'd like.”
“That's really sweet,” you say, the smile on your lips unforced.
Kuroko sighs and glances down at the space between his feet. “It might have been if I hadn't messed up so badly.” He lifts his head and laughs to himself. “After I hung up on him, I went to the store. I managed to buy the right candles and the music was easy enough since all I had to do was follow a few suggestions on my phone but I had so much on my mind that the rest of the trip didn't go the way I'd hoped. I bought a zucchini instead of a cucumber and baby shampoo instead of bubble bath. I didn't know what a bath bomb was and I'll admit that the sound of it intimidated me a bit. Oh, and I forgot the face masks entirely.”
“It's the thought that counts,” you comfort, hoping to assuage at least some of Kuroko's disappointment. “Why did you hang up on Kise though? You didn't get into an argument, did you?”
Kuroko shakes his head before answering. “I couldn't get him to stop going on about scents and brands and benefits. I tried interrupting him but I don't think he could hear me over his excitement so I just hung up. If you don't know when to stop him, he'll just prattle on until he loses his voice.”
You laugh and wipe away the last remnants of your tears. “I suppose that's true. I'll never forget the time he took me shopping for Kasamatsu's wedding. I don't think I've ever spent so much time in a single store in my life.” You pause as you remember the incident fondly and smile at the sound of Kuroko's quiet laughter. “It's hard to believe that Kasamatsu-san was the first to get married, and to Imayoshi-san's ex-girlfriend nonetheless! I don't think anyone could have seen that coming, not even Kise.”
Kuroko's laughter shakes into uncomfortable resonance and he stands up so quickly he almost falls over for the second time. He turns away from you and collides with the corner of the coffee table, it's edge catching somewhere beneath his knee. You flinch, knowing the pain all too well and stare at the shape of his frame, growing more distant as he leaves the room without a word.
“Are you okay?” you call after a minute passes, concerned that you've done or said something wrong.
Kuroko comes back into the room almost immediately. He's wearing a different shirt but the new fabric isn't what concerns you, it's the fact that the tips of his hair are damp and his skin has turned an unhealthy pallor. As he approaches you, it becomes clear that it's not sweat clinging to his pale blue strands but water. Even so, it's unusual for Kuroko to remove himself from a situation to change his clothes and splash water on his face. He's been in worse scenarios in the past and not needed to rid himself of the physical harbingers of disquiet.
“Tetsuya,” you say softly, almost as if you're afraid of startling him. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing's wrong,” he says, but his hands are folded in his lap and he won't look at you directly. “I just wanted to order us dinner. That's all.”
“You really don't have to keep spending your money on take-out on my behalf. I'm sure we could have found something here to eat.” You track Kuroko's movement when he doesn't respond and notice that he's curling his hands into fists. You furrow your brow and make note of the fact that he's bouncing his right leg and there's an edge of alarm visible in the rigidity of his posture. You open your mouth to call forth some kind of a response but Kuroko's already standing up and walking into the kitchen.
“I'm going to get the plates,” he yells to you, his voice steadier than you expect it to be considering how strangely he's behaving. “Please listen for the door.”
“I don't care who you ordered from, they're not going to be here that fast,” you say quietly, more to yourself than to the boy in the other room. Suddenly, Nigou trots into sight from around the corner, a piece of white foam board in his mouth. He's wagging happily and if you had to put an emotion to the light behind his eyes, it would be satisfaction.
“What did you get into?” you ask him, rising from your place on the couch. It's plain to see that whatever it is has turned prey to the sharp edges of Nigou's teeth and undying love for chewing. You walk over to where he's now lying on the floor, the foam pressed between his paws like something sacred to him. “I'm guessing that whatever you have there doesn't belong to you,” you say gently. You smile and crouch down, scratching between his ears by way of distraction as you reclaim the board on Kuroko's behalf. However, something stark against the white catches your attention. You flip the object over in your hand and when you read what's written across it, your heart skips eight beats at once.
Nigou barks excitedly and you nearly cry out as he shakes you into startled awareness. “It's okay...” you say abstractedly, your voice low-pitched and vacillating. Nigou emits a low grumble and lowers his head between his paws when you stop petting him but you're too lost in thought to notice.
You make your way into the kitchen despite your head being in the clouds and your feet moving on autopilot. Kuroko is standing in front of the open fridge, undoubtedly debating tonight's beverage. You clear your throat in an effort to keep from startling him but he jolts at the sound anyway. He steps away from the fridge and lets the door swing shut, his eyes wide and his mouth ajar.
“I didn't mean to scare you,” you tell him, smiling. “I just... Nigou brought this into the living room.” You hold up the aforementioned object and Kuroko instantly pales. “Tetsuya, what does this mean?”
Kuroko closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, his shoulders sagging as some of the tension leaves his body. He sweeps his tongue across his lips, open his eyes, and exhales an audible huff of air. “This isn't exactly how I planned for this to happen,” he admits, his mouth pulling into a tight line.
“How you planned for what to happen?” you question, concern threading through the rapid thrum of your heart.
“I wanted today to be perfect but I messed it up by buying all the wrong things. I was really upset at first but I decided that I'd make it up to you over dinner, so I ordered one of your favorite meals. While trying to put everything that happened earlier in a new frame of reference, I realized that I couldn't wait until dinner to ask you so I was going to catch you as soon as you got home. That's when you came in upset and I didn't think it was the right time.”
“The right time for what? You're not exactly making sense,” you state, confused.
Kuroko stares at you, his expression inscrutable, then he laughs and makes his way over to you. “____, that sign was made for you. I was going to hang it from Nigou's collar and have him take it to you but obviously, he got to it before I could go through with it.” Kuroko looks down at the chewed foam in your hand. “Even with the words intact you still don't understand, do you?”
You open your mouth to form the words your brain wants you to speak but your heart seems to lodge itself in your throat. You feel your lips move on silence and something like electricity pulse through your veins. “I understand what it says I just—I didn't think—was this really meant for me?” you stammer, your tone rising into high-pitched inflection.
“Is,” Kuroko corrects. “I've been meaning to ask you for a while but I just couldn't seem to find the right time.” His lips bend on a smile that spreads warmth up to his eyes, bright and brilliant blue. “It doesn't matter. This is our life and things happen, so maybe there's never going to be a perfect moment. I don't want care if it's good or bad, I just know that no matter what happens, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be the one who helps you get through all of life's problems and the one who you share your fondest memories with. I want to grow old with you.” Kuroko reaches out and takes you by the hand before dropping down on a shaky knee. “____, will you marry me?”
You stare down at him, your nerves as tangled as your heart is weak. Your mouth is dry and your head is so full of thoughts that you can't think. Your hand begins to shake and your skin begins to sweat as your body starts to fall apart like a rusty and antiquated machine. However, none of that matters because the affirmative on your lips breaks into an echo of sound and everything that compromised your happiness ebbs into pure joy.
Kuroko's mouth breaks into a wide grin and you think for a moment, you can see tears of relief gather in his eyes. He exhales a sigh of relief and carefully plucks a ring out of his shirt-pocket. “This is only temporary,” he says, sliding the ring onto your finger with an unnecessary abundance of caution. “I want you to pick out the one you really want.”
“But this is beautiful,” you say as you hold the sparkling circlet up to the light. “I don't need anything else. I'm happy just being with you.”
Kuroko stands up and wraps his arms around your waist. He tugs you close and you throw your arms around his neck, unable to erase the smile that's overtaken the soft of your lips.
“I love you, ____,” he whispers, his breath ghosting the shell of your ear.
“I love you too,” you answer, closing your eyes as tears of unadulterated delight stream down your cheeks. If you've learned anything from today, it's not to waste an entire day by branding it as something bad until you know its final outcome.
Nigou barks and you both laugh as he trots over to join you, his paws coming into contact with your united embrace. “Yes, Nigou. You can be in the wedding,” Kuroko says, and when you draw back to wipe the tears from your eyes, your heart is overwhelmed by feelings of love.
Love for the man that's to be your future husband.