Chapter Text
2018
Itona would say, very bitterly, that this was all Gakushuu’s fault. Gakushuu would say that it was all Irina’s. Irina would say that she had nothing to do any of this at all, and it were the boys who failed to keep their testosterone in their pants long enough to be rational about things. It was all three of their collective faults all poured into one steaming hot-pot of a terrible situation, really, not that any of them would ever admit it.
The trio do unanimously agree, however, (Gakushuu rather begrudgingly,) that this all started because Gakushuu can’t keep his nose to himself and just had to be a bother. To which Gakushuu says, “if you were an outsider, you would want to know what happened, too,” to which Irina says, “that’s fair,” and Itona says, “whose side are you on?”
Record scratch, freeze frame. You’re probably wondering how i got into this situation.
Rewind. Gakushuu, passing by a storefront for a rather normal electronics repair shop after school one mundane tuesday afternoon, sees a rather abnormal picture: ex-Kunugigaoka Middle 3-E student Horibe Itona hunched over a workbench fiddling with… well, something, and ex-assassin turned middle school teacher turned government agent Irina Jelavic perched on a stool, picking at her nails.
Gakushuu, with all of that cat-killing curiosity and none of that Rome-building patience, storms in.
“It’s you!” Jelavic says, pointing a well-manicured finger, “Gakushuu Asano!”
Horibe, in response, scowls.
“It’s me,” Gakushuu agrees, “saw a few ex-associates of mine and came to say hi.”
“Who?” Horibe says flatly.
“You,” Gakushuu says, then, “hello.”
The look Horibe gives him is woefully unimpressed. Gakushuu matches his stare with his best customer-service grin. Jelavic looks between them with surmounting glee and blows a puff of air over her pinkie.
“Please go away,” says Horibe.
“What are you working on?” Gakushuu says. He stalks up and peers over the workbench, and Horibe glares at him. It’s a tangle of wires soldered crappily to circuits boards.
“A little project for me,” Jelavic says breezily, “you can help if you wanna.”
“No,” Horibe says, forcefully.
“I’ll leave if you tell me everything about Koro-sensei and class 3-E,” Gakushuu says.
Horibe opens his arms in a sarcastic “welcome aboard” gesture and leans back on his chair, and then crosses his arms and sulks. Gakushuu stares at the ball of parts. “What does this do?”
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Jelavic says.
Gakushuu’s got nothing. “This does nothing,” he surmises.
“The smartest thing you’ve said all day,” Horibe mutters.
“It does something ,” Jelavic argues, “I got this from a- well, someone who has very important and dangerous things and I need to know what this little jingaroo does!”
“Someone who has very important and dangerous things ?” Horibe says, “how illegal is this?”
“Not a lot,” Jelavic says, “a bit. Well, Tadaomi would probably be a little mad. Not that illegal.”
“You’re insane,” Horibe says. Gakushuu shares his sentiment.
“Well if you won’t want to work on it, you don’t have to,” Jelavic snaps, “give it back.”
“I’ll look at it,” Gakushuu says, moving the device away from her. He’s really intrigued now, damn if he’s going to be out of the loop again for one of 3-E’s shenanigans. Granted, this doesn’t seem to be a 3-E situation but it was the principle of the matter.
“No you won’t,” Horibe says, “hand it over, you don’t know a single bit about electronics.”
“Me?” Gakushuu says incredulously, “do you know who you’re talking to?”
“Someone who has a bigger ego than common sense,” Horibe counters. He grabs the mess of parts from Gakushuu.
“I guarantee I know more than you do,” Gakushuu says, holding the device out of his reach.
“Will you boys stop that?” Jelavic says, “your dick measuring is giving me a headache.”
“You’re crass,” Horibe says. She squawks and makes a grab for the wires, and Horibe tugs at it, but there’s no way Gakushuu was going to let go, so it’s a tug-of-war stalemate with an unknown and possibly very dangerous object, until a wire snags and snaps and comes apart with a pop.
“Is that bad?” Jelavic says.
“Probably,” Gakushuu says.
“ Fuck ,” Horibe says.
Then there's a huge flash of white light, like all cliche "something's happening" scenes go, and then there’s nothing.