Work Text:
It was 2 am and Ted was feeling most uncomfortable.
It wasn’t the fault of anything physical- Bill had the most bodacious blanket pile that made an excellent and fluffy bed on the floor.
No. Not that.
It wasn’t the mix of coke and cherry slushies and Cheetos in his stomach, since Bill and ted engaged in that most nutritious snack almost every Friday night. No. Not that.
But he was feeling quite a bit queasy. He was a lot nowadays. Especially around Bill. For whatever reason, ever since he saw Bill defend him on their most excellent adventure when he thought he’d died, Ted felt something strange. It always seemed warm around Bill now. Nothing about their affinity for physical closeness had changed, but now whenever Bill would pull in for a hug or they’d lift their legs in unison to air guitar, Ted became so painskating aware of his own skin so close to Bill’s. Now he paid attention to the slight lifts of fabric when his friend was reaching for something and his crop top lifted ever so slightly. Ted couldn’t deny that he totally stared. It made the sugar in his stomach churn and dyed his cheeks a deep, cherry slush red.
He hadn’t ever felt that way before. Not even with Elizabeth when they were kissing. He supposed it was fun, if a bit slimy, though he didn’t think he was really any good at it, but he never felt like he’d die if he wasn’t able to kiss the princess.
It’s a good thing too, seeing as both couples had decided to have a break in the dating so the princesses could focus on “finding their own identities.” Which was fine by Ted, more time for the band to actually practice. Besides, dates were only super excellent when it was all four of them on a double date.
But Ted didn’t know if he could ever not be with Bill. That’s what best friends are, he thought, people that you’d most unrighteously die with out.
The thought of being alone, that is to say without Bill, left a most bogus heaviness on his chest. He’d been thinking about if the two of them had traded places, if he thought Bill had died.
He shook his head and ran his hands over his eyes, C'mon dude that wouldn’t ever happen. But he remembers that it did, and it could again.
It makes him feel an urgency to tell Bill about the funny feelings, as they were never supposed to keep secrets. Ted didn’t know what it all meant, the sickly, sugary feeling that he felt when glancing at Bill’s head of golden curls, but he knew there was no way it was good.
He thought about that word they called each other after they hugged that day, the word he now didn’t want to repeat.
Is that what this made him?
He shuffled and squirmed in his blanket pile, electing to toss them off his body and sit up. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to sleep now. It was too hot. Summer in San Dimas brought most intense heat and this thing with Bill wasn’t helping. He brought his palms up to his eyes and sighed loudly.
“Dude,” he heard from above, making him startle a bit.
He breathed in and tried to act calm, it felt most strange putting on a facade in front of Bill.
“What’s up man?” He said, trying not to sound like he had anything on his mind.
“You’re totally up in the middle of the night man, what’s wrong?” Bill was sitting up now, rubbing his eyes in a way that made Ted even more queasy. He looked so sleep ridden and soft with his eyes droopy and his pink lips puffed. Ted felt like his stomach was about to drop out of his ass.
“N-nothing my dude.” He said and gave an obligatory thumbs up.
Bill frowned, “We both know that’s Bogus man. You sleep most heavily unless something is wrong.”
Ted shook his head, pieces of black hair flying in his face, it had grown even more since their adventure.
He felt non-non-heinous about lying to his best friend, but it was a righteous lie to protect their friendship.
“Just like, my dad and stuff dude. Like always.”
Bill’s while face scrunched up in anger like it always did when captain Logan came up. Ted knew Bill was a pretty chill dude, expect when it came to Ted’s Dad.
“Man, you gotta forget about him. That’s why you’ve been acting weird this whole week. He’s totally stressing you out.”
Ted choked and coughed and tried to gather himself, “Yeah, totally dude.”
“Well listen man, since we’re up anyway,” he began rummaging around his bedside table before stopping on something. “I scored some doobage and I think it would be most necessary for us to smoke it since your dad is being a total dickweed.” He paused and giggled,
Oh shit, Bill’s giggles are a righteous rarity.
“Dick- Weed ” he said and held up the blunt.
Ted laughed for a moment before Bill tapped the space on the bed next to him lightly.
“C’mon dude! I’m not gonna pass it to you that far away!”
Ted nodded and swallowed his hesitation, telling himself not to be weird. “For sure dude, for sure.”’
He slowly walked over and plopped himself down on Bill’s bed.
When he was nervous or overwhelmed, Ted played with his hands. He’d wring them and crack his knuckles or trace circles in his palms, all actions he was partaking in right now.
“Dude!” Bill stopped and pulled one of Ted’s hands into his own, “You’re totally wigging out!”
Ted stared at their hands together and then up at Bill, who was looking right back. He pulled his hand away.
Ted didn’t catch how his face fell, but he could hear it in his voice when he said, “Oh sorry, dude.”
Before Ted could say anything, Bill was holding the spliff to his mouth and lighting it. He inhaled and coughed. Though they’d done this countless times, Bill still hated the taste of anything not so sweet.
“Pepsi dude, Pepsi,” he hacked.
Ted nodded quickly and to ran the kitchen. He pulled a can out of the fridge with much vigor and speed. He hurried back to the room.
“Here dude,” he said tossing the can towards Bill, who looked already most stoned.
“Thanks man,” he smiled and popped the tab open, taking a big gulp. Ted took his seat on the bed again. He and Bill puffed and passed for a while without saying much.
“Dude,” Bill said with his head against the mountain of pillows padding his headboard, Ted was laying right beside him. “Fuck cops,”
“Yeah!” Ted said, “Fuck cops.”
“Especially your dad, man. That dude pisses me off, like, everyday.”
Ted simply nodded, far off.
“I just,” Bill flipped over to face him, the genuine anger his face was clear. “I can’t believe he’s keeping you up at night now man, that’s so bogus. You don’t even know how angry it makes me. And I don’t like being an angry dude, dude. I just think about how your dad doesn’t see your excellence and it makes me want to yell at him about, like,” he motioned his hands wildly, and paused. Bill had the tendency to talk very fast and a lot when he was high, “Excellent you are.” He finally finished with a little pink on his cheeks. Ted noticed it as he nodded wildly, open mouthed. “What did he even do this time?”
Ted let the words wash over him, let a moment pass. He didn’t have the capacity to keep up the lie in this state. He thought maybe Bill would forget about it.
“Ted?” He reached across the bed and poked Ted in his side.
Ted could feel the weight of holding everything inside. He was crumbling in on himself. The guilt he felt about feeling the way he did, the guilt about lying to his best friend, the thought of losing Bill all together. He felt like there was a giant stack of history textbooks on his chest. Very un-triumphant. Ted stared down at his bare legs, only clad in boxers and a large wyld stallyns t shirt Bill had made for him, and watched little drops of water fall onto them. Ted is sensitive when he’s high, he cries quite a bit. When Ted cries, Ted can’t talk until you’ve gotten him to calm down.
“Ted? Ted dude?” Bill sounded even more concerned as he found Ted’s face and took it in his hands, kneeling on the bed and facing his friend.
“Oh no, oh no. Ted don’t cry. Please don’t cry, Teddy.” He reached over to the nightstand and shuffled around before finding a loose hair tie.
He always had some of Missy’s old ones around since Ted had grown his hair out.
He positioned himself so his legs where on either side of the other boy’s head. He took the hair into his hands and began smoothing in, digging his fingers into Ted scalp and running through strands. He found a piece to braid while he reminded Ted to breathe. He was two braids in when Ted was finally ready to talk.
“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”
He nodded, “Just please don’t get mad at me, Bill. Like, this situation is most un-triumphant and I need to be able to count on you.”
Bill nodded intensely, “I swear to god dude I’m gonna duel your dad.”
“No- Bill- I lied dude.”
Bill’s face went pale, “What?”
“I lied about that it was my dad keeping me up. I’m so sorry man.”
Bill looked off and finally took his hands away from Ted’s hair.
“What do you mean dude? Why would you lie to me?”
“Because,” Ted said, wiping more of his tears, “I have a most heinous secret and I can’t tell anyone.”
Bill sat up again and put his hand on Ted’s shoulder, staring deeply into his eyes, “Ted dude, I am your most best friend. Nothing is so Heinous that you couldn’t tell me.”
“No Bill! You don’t understand dude!” He whipped around removing himself from Bill’s touch. “This would makes us not friends. That’s how bogus this is.”
“Nothing could ever make us not best friends, Ted. Please tell me you know that and please tell me whatever this un-triumphant weight on you mind is.”
Ted breathed in deeply, “Do you remember when you thought I died on our adventure?”
Bill nodded.
“And when you saw that I didn’t we hugged?”
Bill nodded and went the same shade of pink he had earlier.
“And do you remember what we called each other after we hugged?”
“Dude? A Fa-?”
“Please don’t say it,” he cut his friend off and kept staring at the space on the bed between them. “I’m that,” He said.
Bill’s mouth hung open just a little bit.
“Now do you see why I lied, dude?”
Bill nodded. Silence passed over them as they each tried to think of something to say. Finally, Bill did.
“So you’re gay, dude?”
Ted nodded without looking at him.
Silence again.
“How-“ Bill stopped, then started again, “How do you know dude?”
Ted shrugged his shoulders with his knees pressed against his chest, “I guess the same way you know you like babes, dude.”
Bill let the words slip out of his mouth, blame the weed still in his system, or the secret that had been in his system forever now.
“That doesn’t really help me, Ted.”
Ted stopped, “W-what do you mean?”
Bill got closer to him, crawling up to a guarded Ted.
“I mean I don’t really think about babes when I’m like,” he paused, “Whacking it, dude.”
He had a finger on Ted’s knee and was following it with his eyes. Ted felt himself fully blush.
He coughed,
“Then what do you think about dude?”
Bill paused and looked up from Ted’s knee. He opened Ted’s legs with his hands gently and slid between them so he was face to face with his friend, who was now up against the wall.
He breathed hotly and Ted could feel himself burning up, stunned.
“You.”
Ted moved to close the space between them, bringing their lips together. His hands flew to Bill’s hair as he pushed his tongue into his mouth. Bill dragged himself down, bringing Ted on top of him.
Ted had major chub, he could feel Bill’s too.
He pulled away for a second, Bill still below him, he stared into his big, blue eyes. Eyes that told him he’d beat up his dad for him, eyes that cried when he thought Ted was dead, eyes that told Ted everything he needed to know.
“Bill?”
“Yeah, Ted?”
“Do you, like, wanna be my boyfriend?”
Bill smiled and reached up, placing a kiss on Ted’s neck.
“Now and forever, dude.”