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Gay Pride Parade

Summary:

'a homophobic Sasuke runs into a bisexual Naruto during pride. Sasuke is annoyed, Naruto is annoyed, and the rest is history'

THIS IS BASED OFF A TWITTER MEME FROM THE MARVEL FANDOM ON TWITTER. IT'S A JOKE. IM BISEXUAL. DON'T LEAVE ME HATE JSDBGJSDBG

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The pride parade was in full swing and Sasuke couldn't be angrier. As a proud homophobe, he didn’t understand or want to understand, why the gays were out and about like this. What did they have to be proud of? The streets were filled with rainbow flags and the other flags which Sasuke couldn’t be bothered to know. All he knew was seeing those colors together gave him a rash on his brain.

 

On the other side of the street was Naruto. He had been out for almost two years now, and each pride was better than the last. He was decked out in the bisexual flag colors on his clothing, face paint, and even his nails, which had cost him almost $40 to get done. He even had the rainbow flag draped over his shoulders like a cape.

 

Sasuke began walking down the street with his head towards the ground. He didn’t want to risk seeing one of these LGBT-ers up close. Naruto was dancing through the street, eyes closed, hands swinging around to the beat of the music, and next thing he knew, he collided into someone. That someone happened to be Sasuke. Both boys were pushed to the ground, and because of the force in which Naruto had been dancing, his flag had fallen off and landed on top of Sasuke.

 

“Get this abomination off of me!” Sasuke yells angrily, standing off of the ground and throwing the flag onto the ground, stomping on it a few times for good measure. Naruto watches in shock, still on the ground; who was this emo man and why did he call the flag an abomination? “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you! You’re the homophobe at a pride parade!” Naruto yells back, his face flushed in anger.

 

“Yeah, so? Me being homophobic is normal! You guys are the ones with something wrong going on in your brain!” Sasuke responds a hand on his hip. He already hated this little rat boy. Who has whiskers?

 

“Have you ever participated in the parade? You can’t judge something you haven't tried!” Naruto wanted to kick this guys ass but decided against it. Being emo and looking like you have a tree stump for a neck is tough work, no wonder he hates the people who look better than him.

 

“Well, no I haven’t but-”

 

“No but’s. We’re dancing!” Naruto grabs Sasuke’s sweaty frail hand and leads him further into the crowd. Sasuke clams up; he had never been surrounded by as many gay people as he was at this exact moment, and he had no idea what to do. Naruto began to dance and continued to hold onto Sasuke’s hand, swinging it around wilding as Sasuke stayed still.

 

“No. I don’t like this. Please.” Sasuke begs, feeling a deep burning sensation in his soul. His foot began to tap, and before he knew it, he was dancing with Naruto too. Naruto smiles wide; he had successfully transformed Sasuke from a homophobe to a gay - a huge improvement.

 

“First Sasuke, then the world.” Naruto thought, knowing the real gay agenda was to get all the homophobes to accept the cold hard truth; members of the LGBT+ community were better than them in every way.

Notes:

if you’re planning on leaving slurs of any kind, don’t lmao. it’s a joke. a joke from a gay person. i’m gay. it’s not serious.