Work Text:
Tony knew conceiving a baby would be a challenge. But he never met a challenge he couldn't overcome.
Except...
"I can't believe that despite all the things you've subjected your body to, I’m the one who's infertile," Pepper complained once they were in the car.
...except this wasn't the sort of challenge Tony could deal with using a wrench and screwdriver.
"Honey, you're not infertile—”
Pepper snorted. "I have a hostile uterus. No baby is gonna want to set up shop up in here."
The doctor had explained that Pepper's cervical fluid was so thick that Tony's sperm couldn't swim through it or survive the trip.
Tony entertained the possibility of building Iron Man suits for his swimmers when Pepper said, "Maybe we should just adopt."
Tony started the car. "Maybe. But the doctor gave us meds. And he's got our sex life on a whole schedule with shots to boot! And you can count on me to stick to that schedule. On the dot. Everyday. Sex is something I'm great at, you know."
Pepper laughed and Tony was a little happy he was able to make her smile.
Pepper broke the news that she was pregnant by giving Tony a replica of the Academy Award trophy that said Best Dad.
"Are you serious?" Tony asked, grinning madly.
She nodded.
Tony cleared his throat, clutched the trophy to his chest, and tearfully said, “I would like to thank the winning Olympic sperm, Morgan Phelps. Mom and Dad are very proud—”
Pepper tossed a pillow at him. “Don't make it weird."
"Okay.” Tony put the trophy aside and sat beside his wife. “Let’s not wait to tell people. I want everyone to know about Morgan Phelps right now.”
“I don’t know. We could miscarry or—”
“No, we’re not going to.”
“Tony, I’m serious. Just because we got pregnant doesn’t mean that my hostile uterus—”
“I’m Iron Man.”
Pepper gave him a look. “Okay, Iron Man, what does that have to do with—”
“I take care of hostile situations all the time.”
“Do you mean hostage situations?”
“Yes but also hostile threats. We’ll be fine. Please. I’m just so happy! I want everyone to know. It’s like the gospel. It’s good news!”
“Are you comparing our daughter to Jesus?” Pepper laughed.
“I get it, you’re scared, you don’t want people to know until you’re sure. So, let’s wait a month.”
“A month? Normally, people wait three months—”
“Yes, but how else are we gonna explain all your puking sessions?”
“Puking sessions?”
“Morning sickness. At least tell your bosses.”
“Fine.”
Tony showed the trophy off to the board members (AKA Pepper’s bosses) a month later.
Pepper didn't want him to bring it but Tony had insisted saying that it was the only award he cared about and also the only trophy he would flash in everybody's faces.
He made the board members pass it all around so they could get a good look at his trophy while Pepper announced the good news.
"Tony and I are expecting our first child—" Pepper was saying when Tony corrected her. "Children." Pepper sent him a confused expression. Tony explained, "I'm still holding out on triplets."
Pepper took him by the arm and pulled him back. She hissed, "Triplets?"
"Yeah. I've been thinking we can name them Marks I, II, and III." He broke out laughing at his own joke and Pepper rolled her eyes. Turning back to the board members she said, "Ignore him. It's just one child."
"One as in the only one we'll ever have?"
"One as in singular."
The board had amused expressions on their faces, too used to this banter between the couple. They expressed their felicitations and Tony soaked it all in.
He never told Pepper, but he was secretly more relieved than he dared to say because he was starting to get sick of the sex which was something he never thought would happen (it just wasn't fun when there's all that pressure to knock up his wife).
The relief was quickly taken over by worry and an overwhelming feeling of uselessness because Pepper's too nauseous to work and Tony can't fix morning sickness.
She would puke and sleep in intervals and all Tony could do was refill their stock of ginger ale and keep away any scents that triggered her namely his aftershave, his shampoo, and eggs.
"How's Pepper?" Rhodey asked him one time.
"She's pregnant. How do you think?" Tony snapped and Rhodey raised a brow. "Why do you never ask about me? Why do people never ask about expectant fathers? I get it. Mothers have to go and endure all that stuff and nobody ever thinks about the father. But you know what? I have to sit there and watch her eat her meal, throw it all back up and then sleep and then repeat and I can't do anything! My voice gives her a headache, I hold her and she's too warm, I crank up the AC and it's the freaking arctic. And also sometimes my deodorant makes her want to puke so I've been experimenting and I have like five barely used deodorants that didn't pass her test. What am I gonna do with five barely used deodorants, Rhodey?” Rhodey shrugged. “So I've been relegated to the garage, trying to whip up a scentless deodorant while my wife and I talk using the intercom. That's how I'm doing. Thanks for asking."
Rhodey backed away a little. "Okay, okay. I get it. You're both pregnant and moody."
"I just want to do something to help, you know."
"Staying out of her way might help."
"That's what she said," Tony grumbled. He hated being helpless. If he could do anything to ease Pepper's pregnancy at all, he would do it.
Tony got exactly what he wished for when Pepper entered the second trimester. She was strong enough to get back to work again which meant that she was in the mood to entertain all her cravings.
Mandy called him out of the blue, one afternoon. "There's a little, um, situation at the office."
Pepper's assistant never called him and especially not over 'situations' because Mandy was like Pepper 2.0 and handled 'situations' secretly. In fact, she handled them before they could turn into situations. So the fact that she called Tony was a little unnerving.
"What situation?"
"She's hungry and she's crying."
"I see. I'll be on my way."
"I want strawberries," Pepper said angrily the minute Tony walked in her office. She didn’t appear to be crying anymore but she was looking at a picture of strawberries on her computer screen because eating the real thing would mean breaking out in hives and her throat closing up.
"But you're—"
"I know!" she snapped. "I can barely even remember the taste of strawberries but your baby wants some. Clearly she got this from your side of the chromosomes."
There was a lot of blame getting thrown in Tony's direction too.
"How about we get an alternative?" he offered, sitting across from her, "Blueberries sound good?"
"Blueberries are not strawberries," Pepper replied through grit teeth.
"Okay. Raspberries? Raspberries are red and sort of sound like strawberries. Baby won't know the difference."
Pepper narrowed her eyes into slits and she was as scary as she was gorgeous.
"Okay, I have an idea. How about I eat the strawberries for you? I'm the dad, that's got to count for something, right? Like some sort of daddy-baby mental connection?"
Pepper looked thoughtful and said, "That strangely makes sense."
Tony broke into a grin. "Yeah?"
They went home as soon as they could and Tony ended up eating a box of strawberries in bed with Pepper.
Lying on his back with his head on Pepper's lap and chewing a strawberry in his mouth, he addressed Pepper's baby bump, "It's sweet and sour which is how strawberries should taste. If the strawberry is just sweet then that's artificial flavoring. A strawberry is supposed to be sour and as soon as you're out of there, I'm gonna teach you all about how fruits should taste. You'll have assorted fruits for snacks when you go to school, some one hundred percent all natural fruit juice care of Dum-E. We can even make juice pops. Those are great. No preservatives which passes all of Mom's requirements for a healthy meal." At Pepper's slap to his thigh, he amended, "Okay, change of plans. Mommy said juice pops are apparently not meal replacements.” His face contorted and he gaped at the bump. “What did you say? What do you mean she's not the boss of me? Mommy is absolutely the boss of us. Can you believe this, Pep? Barely out of the womb and she's already acting out in rebellion."
Pepper took to the remaining months of pregnancy like she did everything else—with deadly efficiency.
She exercised regularly, ate the right amounts, listened to the right music, read all the books with the same speed she read through contracts (translation: very fast) and still had the time to lock in a huge business deal. Tony was pretty sure the baby was going to come out dressed in a suit and holding a clipboard.
The best part was that with Pepper no longer heaving in a toilet bowl, Tony could actually be near her and take in how beautiful his pregnant wife was.
Her hair was redder, her skin was brighter, her cheeks more flushed. She looked like an absolute goddess even when wearing nothing but a pair of underwear and Tony's t-shirt to bed because her own pajamas couldn't fit her anymore.
They debuted the pregnancy at UNICEF’s Snowflake Ball. They walked down the red carpet, Tony with his hand on the small of her back and his other hand holding her purse. He felt like an accessory next to her, like he was simply her plus-one and he didn't want it any other way. Her work with UNICEF was her baby, so when the photographers started clamoring for photos, Tony temporarily left her side and let the light shine on her for a change.
He joined the throng of cameramen and started taking pictures too.
"You're doing amazing, Mommy!" he cried out much to Pepper's amusement.
He joined her in the photos towards the end of the run. He got down on his knees and kissed her stomach while Pepper laughed. She pulled him back up afterwards and Tony hugged her from behind, cradling her stomach with their entwined hands.
Looking over her shoulder, Pepper gave Tony a kiss which was captured on camera. He filed a mental note to purchase that photo on Getty.
He felt Pepper shiver and he rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "You cold?"
She nodded and whispered, "My nipples are so frozen they're gonna fall off."
“Want me to warm them up for you?”
She elbowed his side as they laughed, walking in the hall.
"We need to start thinking of names."
"We have a name—"
Pepper sent him a pointed look. "She is not going to be called Mark I."
"I was kidding! I'm kidding. Come on, it's Morgan. It's always Morgan."
"Just Morgan?"
"Right. A second name. Hmm. Let me sleep on that."
A couple more "sleeps" later and Morgan was born.
Pepper was asleep when the nurses handed Tony a form to fill out her name. So, Tony wrote down Morgan just like they agreed and also added the second name he'd been thinking about. He didn't think Pepper would mind.
"Ho? HO?" Pepper asked, voice raised in anger. Tony didn't think she had that much energy left after the labor but apparently, she did. "You named our daughter Ho?"
"I thought you would approve!"
"Why would I like Ho as our daughter's second name?" She was already imagining the jokes.
"Because it was Yinsen's first name and I figured you'd want to honor the man who saved my life!"
"Honey, that's a beautiful gesture but we're the only two people who know about Yinsen and everybody else won't think that when they find out her name is Morgan Ho!"
"So I'm thinking that you want me to take it back—”
"TONY!"
@TonyStark tweeted: Mommy and baby are healthy. Morgan H Stark says hello.
Attached was a photo of Pepper sitting up and holding what looked to be a baby swaddled in cloth. The infant's face couldn't be seen from the angle, though, but nobody could miss the smile on Pepper's face.
Tony enjoyed toying with everybody who asked what the H in Morgan's name meant.
Sometimes he said it meant Happy because "that's how she makes me feel." Hogan was on a high horse for days before Tony went and tweeted that H was for "Hope" because he didn't think he would ever find healing after the Decimation.
And then there was one time Tony said on live television that H was for Harry Potter because his daughter was like the Chosen One among his sperm. Pepper didn't like that too much.
Everyone eventually just stopped asking questions because between Morgan Harry, Morgan Heart, Morgan Hamburgers, and Morgan Himalayas, they knew they would never get a straight answer from him.
But Morgan would be told the meaning of her name when she was older. Until then...
"Here's a real strawberry just like Daddy promised." Tony scooped out some strawberry puree and fed the baby.
Pepper stood by, looking a little worried.
"Relax! She's not allergic. She likes it, see?" Morgan made some sounds causing some strawberry juice to run down her chin.
"Tasty, right?" Tony asked Morgan, "You want some more? Okay. Here comes the Iron Man." He imitated the sound of his thrusters and made the spoon swoop around the baby before landing it in her mouth.
"She's really hungry," Pepper commented when Morgan tried to grab the hovering spoon.
Tony grinned, letting her hold it. "Well of course. Hungry is her middle name."
Pepper rolled her eyes.