Archive of Our Own

Kihyun didn’t very often have moments where he questioned his life. He had an excellent job, wonderful friends, a comfortable home.

But occasionally, he would find himself wondering exactly what in the hell he was doing.

This was one of those times.

It was too damn hot, that was the first thing he had to complain about. The second was how steep the hill was. It was no wonder that no one really came up here. His thighs were burning, and his forehead was lined with an ever-thickening layer of sweat. He was a doctor, for christ’s sake, he should know that he was sheer moments away from having a heat stroke.

But, nevertheless, he continued up the grassy hill to the small wooden hut that sat neatly atop it. It really was a beautiful sight, one that he didn’t so often relish in because he was just relieved to have made it. The outside was covered with mystical plants, most of which he did not know the name of, and birds filled the air with their airy music. The hut was small, hand crafted by the witch who lived inside it, and the brown wicker roof came to a crude point. It was a little off center, but Kihyun would never tell anyone that.

It seemed as if the sky was always clear up here, like it had its own universe, own atmosphere. The village could be amid a hurricane but here, on this hill, it was always warm and clear.  

But that was just Changkyun for you, he guessed.

With a couple trudging steps, Kihyun finally reached the vine covered door and exhaled loudly, reaching out and knocking on it a few times.

“Just a second!” Came from the other side, followed by the crashing of what Kihyun assumed to be pots and pans, as well as a shrill hiss. Nothing new here.

The door swung open quickly and Kihyun was suddenly face to face with the younger witch, who was out of breath and red in the face, even though Kihyun was the one who just climbed a mountain to get here.

“H-hey, Kihyun!” He smiled brightly, paralleling the sun in the sky.

“Are you okay?”

“Oh, what? Yeah! Of course. Come on in! I was just finishing up your potions.”

Kihyun followed Changkyun into the small kitchen, where he saw the familiar black cat sitting on the counter. The cat let out a loud meow in his direction and he couldn’t help but smile lightly. It was a bit forced and he hoped it didn’t express the pity that he felt.

“Hi, Hyungwon.”

Hyungwon was a familiar name around the village. And part of the reason why no one except for Kihyun and occasionally Minhyuk were the only ones who came to visit the clumsy witch. Kihyun knew Hyungwon years ago, before he was like this. Before the curse hit him. Doomed to spend an eternity in animal forms, never knowing his body again. The village people never figured out why he was cursed, who did it to him, but everyone labeled him as a bad omen.

Changkyun was the only one who never left his side. And Kihyun knew that the botanical witch spent his entire free time trying to figure out how to break the spell. He knew that by the ever-growing pile of books on the rickety dining room table. Texts from every corner of the Earth, all about spells and curses. Kihyun had asked him about it once, why he stayed. Wasn’t he lonely? Wasn’t he bothered by also taking on Hyungwon’s label of bad luck? All these years had passed but Changkyun never gave up on Hyungwon. Kihyun's curiosity had gotten the best of him, he supposed, but Changkyun didn't hesitate. 

“Because he’s my friend.” Changkyun had answered, without missing a beat, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Sorry about the mess,” Changkyun drew him from his thoughts, “I’ll get your potions together now!”

This was a familiar routine, one that Kihyun probably should’ve put a stop to months ago, but he just couldn’t muster up the courage. Kihyun used to always get his plant potions for his clients from Hyunwoo, but when Hyunwoo went on vacation, he was forced to come to Changkyun. The thing about that was, Changkyun was horrible at plant potions. He used his botanical magic for divination but had agreed to help the doctor in his time of need.

Hyunwoo had been back from his vacation for about six months now but every other Friday afternoon, Kihyun made the hike up the hill. Why?

He looked up again to see Changkyun with his tongue poking out from behind his lips as he tied small purple ribbons around the necks of the bottles. His eyebrows were creased and every few seconds, he had to swat away one of Hyungwon’s curious paws.

That was why.

If you asked him, Kihyun could pinpoint the exact moment he knew he was totally screwed.

It was a Friday in December and it was painfully cold outside. Changkyun was the quickest he’d ever been to open the door and Kihyun found himself sitting in the cramped living room, wondering how Changkyun could have a fireplace. The entire hut was a hazard, really. But he didn’t bother asking. Changkyun had draped a blanket over his shoulders and handed him a mug of the most delicious tea he’d ever had in his life.

He’d never forget watching Changkyun as the witch was seated on the floor, talking about everything and absolutely nothing at the same time. The fire was reflecting off his face and since that day, Kihyun was never able to forget that. How truly magical the boy was.

But Kihyun was never good at…feelings. He was rational and mathematical. Logical and by the books. Changkyun was more like the raging fire he’d been sitting in front of. Unpredictable and free.

So, he swallowed it. Tried to forget about it. But always kept coming back.

"Alright, you're all set! Do you have another order for me to fill for the next time you come back?" 

There was something about the way Changkyun said that. Said the words "come back" that always stuck with him. Setting all his feelings, or lack there of because he absolutely did not have feelings for Changkyun, aside, part of him knew he had to come up here every other Friday. It was the way Changkyun smiled when Kihyun would walk through the door. The way his voice would pitch up slightly and he'd always flush a little bit. Kihyun had once told himself that maybe Changkyun liked him, felt something for him. But that was quickly erased. No, that couldn't be it. Changkyun was lonely. He was just happy to see another human face. 

But back to the task at hand. 

"Yeah," He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small parchment, making sure not to accidentally pull the real one out that was for Hyunwoo, "Just a few small things this time. Think you can handle it?" 

Changkyun let out a confident puff of air, crossing his arms over his chest, "Of course I can. What do I look like? An amateur?" As he finished his rhetorical question, he gestured with one of his hands, unfortunately knocking a row of empty bottles over and sending them crashing to the floor. Hyungwon meowed loudly at this, sounding mocking, and Kihyun swallowed back a laugh. 

"No comment on that one. Here's your payment for this batch. I know some of these were a pain so I left you a little extra."

"I've told you a thousand times that you really don't have to pay me. It's not like I ever buy anything!" Changkyun spoke as he started to pick up the glass around him, Hyungwon jumping onto the witches shoulders and nestling into his neck. 

"What do you eat?" 

Changkyun chuckled at this, gesturing vaguely to a large wicker basket full of fruits and vegetables, "I'm a vegetarian." 

"Isn't that like," Kihyun cocked an eyebrow, "Kind of opposite? You love plants! Shouldn't you be eating like all meat?" 

He stopped picking up the glass for moment, furrowing his eyebrows so cutely as he always did, "I guess I never thought about it like that." 

Before he sent Changkyun into a mental crisis, he quickly changed the subject and started to see himself out. Not like that took any long amount of time, as the hut Changkyun lived in was roughly the size of his own living room. 

"Oh, hey," He paused and swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling nervous, "Minhyuk and Hoseok are having a dinner party on Sunday night. You should think about coming down to it. It could be a lot of fun." 

Kihyun couldn't remember the last time he saw Changkyun down in the village. He'd hear the witches name spoken in whispers as people would on look at the hut atop the hill and it always made him angry. They didn't know him. They only knew what the other whisperers said. Most times, he'd just get upset with himself because he never found the courage to stick up for Changkyun. That's what Minhyuk was for, anyway. The alchemist would always snap at the village people, telling them to keep their mouths shut. It worked most of the time. What Minhyuk lacked in size, he made up for with attitude. Plus, with Hoseok always standing behind him, no one even dared to talk back. 

Kihyun could see the war waging between Changkyun's eyes, despite the small smile that was playing on his lips, and he regretted asking him to come. 

"That's alright," He said in the smallest voice and Kihyun swore an earthquake started in his heart, "Thank you for inviting me, though. Tell everyone we said hello!" With that, Changkyun grabbed one of Hyungwon's paws and waved it a little, the black feline hissing in retaliation. 

"Yeah," He cleared his throat again, exiting the hut with a final wave, "Will do! See you in two weeks, then." 

Kihyun never stayed long enough to see how Changkyun would loudly exhale when he walked out the door. How he'd run his hands through his hair and go over every single word he said. How he'd spend the better half of two hours talking to Hyungwon about if he thought the conversation went well.

He never stayed long enough to hear the words Changkyun really wanted to say.

»»————-　　————-««

Sunday night came and Kihyun found himself nursing a glass of wine, spinning it by it's spine as his friends had idle conversation around him. He'd been far too in his own head lately and thought that this dinner would be a good escape. But it wasn't. It seemed nothing was. 

"Paging Doctor Yoon! Is there a Doctor Yoon in the house?" A hand was waved in front of his face and Kihyun quickly shook his head, "What?" 

"You've been spacing out for like thirty minutes. What's on your mind?" 

"Probably his little plant boy." Minhyuk smirked and Kihyun narrowed his eyes before swallowing the rest of his wine. It was too sweet for his liking and was starting to upset his stomach but that was what he got for leaving his own bottle at home, he supposed. 

"He's not my anything." 

Hyunwoo rejoined them at the table, a fourth serving of food piled on his plate, "Sure he's not. We've all had to deal with your crush on him for just over a year now. What's stopping you from saying anything?" 

Exasperated, Kihyun let out a sigh, "There's nothing to say!" 

He really was tired of this. He never should've drunkenly told Jooheon that he thought Changkyun was kind of cute. Jooheon never knew how to keep a secret, and after that, almost every conversation the group would have over bottles of wine would end with the discussion of the witch on the hill. He knew it was all in good fun, his friends were just teasing him, but after a while it was all just a little exhausting. 

"What's really holding you back," Jooheon leaned forward across the table, resting his head in his hands, "We get it. You're closed off and reserved and blah blah blah. But seriously? What's the worst that could happen?" 

Kihyun chewed on his lip for a moment, tossing around the idea of having a genuine conversation about it for once. He looked around the table, all the eyes on him, all kind and warm. 

"The worst that could happen is that he doesn't feel the same, okay? That would be so embarrassing and," He paused for a moment, watching Hoseok flick his beer glass and it was full in an instant, "I don't know. It could ruin everything. Changkyun, I think, depends on seeing me every other week, you know? He gets so excited when I walk in. Or at least that's what it seems like. No one goes up there. No one does. He's lonely, no matter what he says. And if I say something and he doesn't feel the same, what would happen then? He'd be all alone." 

The silence that followed was heavy. Thick and uncomfortable. 

This was why he didn't talk about it. 

"I guess I didn't think about it like that." Jooheon finally spoke, and it seemed like the group took a breath of relief. 

"I've only seen him a handful of times this past year, you know. And I know I could be better at that. But he talks about you a lot. He'd always ask me how you are," Minhyuk spoke up, that peaking Kihyun's attention, "He really cares about you, Ki. Remember how it was before Hyungwon's curse? They'd always be down here, drinking and laughing with us. Even then, you two always had a spark. He'd say something ridiculous and you'd be quick to retort, you guys always had a good back and forth. You were the first person he came to when Hyungwon got cursed. Not any of us, it was you. I think that you've never taken a single risk in your life. He would be a really safe place to start. You pay him a stupid amount of money for potions that you," He trailed off for a moment, "Wait, what do you do with those potions? Because you certainly don't give them out to patients." 

Kihyun felt his face flush at that and Hyunwoo laughed, knowing exactly what the answer was. 

"He keeps them," The man answered for him, "He likes the little bows that Changkyun ties around the bottles. He has a little shelf in his room, which is getting awfully full these days." 

"You keep them!" Jooheon and Hoseok shouted at the same time and Kihyun groaned, burying his face in his hands. 

"Of course you do. That's the most you thing I've ever heard." 

"Can we stop, please? I've already said too much." 

Thankfully, his friends decided enough was enough and left him alone for the rest of the evening. But Minhyuk's words were still ringing in his mind. That Changkyun would be a risk, yes, but a safe place to start. Kihyun didn't want to admit it but he agreed. He'd imagined the scenario in his head thousands of times. Just asking him out for a lunch somewhere or a dinner. Even just staying in at the plant hut. He knew he wouldn't really care how they spent the time together, he just wanted it to happen. He thought about all the things he'd never say out loud, how many times he'd imagined holding Changkyun's hand, or just reaching out and brushing his unruly black hair out of his eyes. 

It was all ridiculous, really.

Childish feelings. 

So, just like his wine, he swallowed it down once again.

»»————-　　————-««

"I'm sorry, Hyungwon."

It was a phrase Changkyun had gotten all too used to saying. 

The large black wolf that was sitting on the floor next to him just nudged his arm once, forcing Changkyun's hand onto his head. Hyungwon didn't often take large forms. He seemed to prefer being small, able to move around quickly, but Changkyun assumed he needed a little more reassurance today. So, he carded his fingers through the thick black fur as he used his free hand to close the last spell book he had. His library was now empty. Not a single book having the remedy for Hyungwon's curse. Nothing to even temporarily help. He felt like crying but that would have to be saved for when Hyungwon was asleep.

He never wanted his friend to think that this was the end.

Changkyun didn't want to think that either.

"Hey," He got an idea quickly, "Maybe when Kihyun comes up next, I can ask him to check the library for some new books? I know we sometimes get new ones, at least we used to, so maybe he can bring some up for us?" 

Hyungwon let out a large huff through his nose, Changkyun knowing that to mean agreement. It had been a long time of him memorizing how Hyungwon communicated in his various forms. 

"Wait, I have a better idea!" He snapped his fingers quickly and the wolf followed him close behind as he puttered around his home, looking for the exact type of parchment paper he needed. Changkyun wasn't all that great at magic, nothing like his parents once were, but he did always have a few tricks up his sleeve that no other botanical witches did. Being up on the hill alone, or rather the only human, left him with endless time to practice. And while he still hadn't mastered potions, and more often than not they would blow up in his face, he'd grown even stronger with his plants. 

He could tell in the way the vines that drooped down from his ceiling would lean towards him whenever he walked by or how seemingly dead flowers came vibrantly back to life when he touched them. 

Finding the slightly green piece of parchment, he smiled and laid it out on his desk, quickly grabbing a quill and trying his best to not make his handwriting look like total chicken scratch. 

Dear Kihyun,

Sorry if I'm bothering you, or if this message scared you! I know I haven't done this before!

I was hoping you could do me a favor? I'm officially out of spell books and I was wondering if maybe you could check out the library and see if there are any new ones there? 

It would really mean a lot to Hyungwon and I if you could bring any new ones up! 

If you can, just go ahead and write your reply on this parchment

My writing will disappear as you start

And send it back to me the way it came! Thank you so much!

Love,

See you on Friday! 

Changkyun 

 "I'll be right back." He spoke to Hyungwon, even though he knew that would be ignored. 

Just as he thought, Hyungwon followed closely behind him as he exited his house and walked towards the back of his garden, being sure to greet each budding flower with a smile and a hello. He supposed maybe the years he'd been spending up here alone were starting to make him go a little crazy. He'd always loved his plants, of course, but he never really talked to them. Not when he belonged somewhere. Changkyun couldn't help but glance down the large hill towards the village. People were too far away to be clearly seen, but he could make out the tiny, blurry figures mulling about, enjoying their lives. He wondered what Kihyun was doing right now. How Minhyuk and Hoseok were. If Jooheon had ever mastered his levitation. He could go down there, in theory, but it was always too much. The stares. The whispers. They all thought he was bad luck because of Hyungwon. This curse was attached to both of them, it seemed. 

But he couldn't focus on that. 

It would drive him even further into madness.

He continued on his way until he reached the back corner of the expansive garden, crouching down and waving his hand over the large green bulb just once. It took a few moments, but it slowly opened up to reveal it's beautiful tangerine colored petals. It was almost blinding. Too rich and beautiful that he felt like he shouldn't even be looking at it. But this plant, this special flower, was one of his prized possessions. Changkyun didn't know the exact numbers but he did know that he was one of the only botanical witches in the world to master it's magic, to earn it's trust. 

"Hi, friend. I haven't seen you in a long time. I need you to deliver something for me." He held up the small parchment, made just for the flower, and waved it around a couple of times. He smiled as the stem of the flower started to move, as if the bulb was hungry for the paper. 

"Doctor Kihyun, please." With delicate fingers, he placed the parchment in the flower's center and just as he pulled his hand away, the petals closed and the entire flower sunk into the ground quickly, sending his message to Kihyun. 

He sat down on the dirt, knowing he'd have to wait for a response for probably a while, and watching as Hyungwon sat across from him on his haunches, giving him that look.

"What?" 

Hyungwon just turned up his nose to the sky, shaking his head a little bit.

"Oh, don't give me that. I crossed it out, okay? It would make things weird!" 

A large huff came from the wolf's nose and Changkyun rolled his eyes, "You don't know anything. What was I supposed to do? Just casually toss in a "love" in a letter asking him to do something for me? Hey, Kihyun, do you mind doing me this possibly super inconvenient favor oh and also I love you? Yeah, that would go over well." 

Changkyun jumped a little as Hyungwon let out a bark, loud and powerful, but he gathered himself and narrowed his eyes, "Shut up! You're always so loud. No wonder no one wants to come up here."

It came out a little harsher than he intended and he didn't miss the way Hyungwon's ears dipped slightly. It wasn't often Changkyun snapped at his friend, in fact, it almost never happened. He couldn't let it. No one in the village knew him like Changkyun did. He wasn't cursed because he's a bad person. Hyungwon was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Faced with a horrible fate just because he accidentally stumbled across some black magic witches. But sometimes he couldn't help it. He wasn't mad at Hyungwon. He was mad at the situation. Mad that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to do anything to help.  

"Hey, I'm sorry," He said while extending his hand, smiling a little when Hyungwon nestled his long snout into it, "I didn't mean that. They're missing out anyway." 

It was silent after that, Hyungwon eventually laying down with his head on Changkyun's legs and Changkyun leaning back on his hands, basking in the sunlight. 

About an hour later, he felt the rumble of the soil underneath his fingers and he quickly opened his eyes, sitting up as the soil opened up before him and the flower returned. It rudely spat the parchment at him and Changkyun huffed lightly, "Alright, alright. It was one delivery! I never make you do anything!" 

He was getting awfully tired of all the back talk these days. 

Crossing his legs, much to the dismay of the sleeping wolf that was on him, Changkyun unrolled the parchment with anxious fingers. 

Well, this is certainly new

Oh wow. Your text really is disappearing!

You botanical witches always amaze me. Anyway, I'd be more than happy to do that for you. I'll see what I can scrounge up. 

I can deliver them to you tomorrow evening once my appointments are done, that way you won't have to wait.

I know how much all this means to you. 

Do I really just like...give this back to this flower?

It looks mean

It's staring at me

It doesn't have eyes but I can feel it staring at me

I'm scared, Changkyun!

Okay, here I go. I'm ending this now and if this flower eats me, my blood is on your hands

I'll see you tomorrow. 

Kihyun

Tomorrow. 

Changkyun reread the letter about a dozen times before folding it and tucking it into the inside pocket of his robe. It would be one that he would save. 

"Kihyun is coming over tomorrow." 

Hyungwon sat up again, looking back to the hut before focusing his golden eyes on Changkyun.

"Right," He nodded, "I should probably clean."

He never really liked cleaning. Not that his house was messy, per say, but he had once defended it to Kihyun. It was just organized chaos. Yes, there were things everywhere. Books scattered about. Vines creeping through every crack and crevasse. Too many jackets hanging on his makeshift coat hanger. Various mugs and cups covering the surface area of his counter. Plants on every other available surface. But he knew exactly where everything was. But this, he thought, felt a little different. Kihyun wasn't coming to pick anything up. He was coming outside of their little Friday afternoon blocks. He was doing Changkyun a favor. 

Really, the least he could do was clean up a little bit. 

And so, he spent the rest of his evening tidying up. Neatly organizing his plants in pretty little rows, finally putting his bookshelf to good use, washing all his mugs and setting them in the cupboard. It felt nice, even just for himself. Maybe he should do it more often. 

After a few hours, Changkyun found himself in his favorite place on earth. His bed. 

Hyungwon was passed out next to him, legs moving every once in a while, Changkyun happy to know that he was dreaming. Hopefully it was a good one. He closed his eyes and flashed himself back to the last time he saw Hyungwon. Really saw him. He'd been at Changkyun's house, mercilessly teasing him as he always did. Changkyun knew now how he took those times for granted. Sure, Hyungwon would bark or meow or caw back at him. But he missed his laughter, missed his smile. Changkyun wished he'd been able to appreciate it more as Hyungwon had walked out his door. 

Changkyun opened his eyes and turned them back to the wolf, reaching a hand out delicately and brushing the thick black fur.

"I'm going to fix this for you."

»»————-　　————-««

"I'm really not even that nervous." 

Hyungwon hissed at him, taking his usual black cat form today, and Changkyun sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Okay, so he was a little bit nervous. Which was ridiculous, honestly. He'd known Kihyun for years, had seen him so many times. Why did this feel so different? Something in the air, it was like it had shifted. The sun was starting to set now, meaning Kihyun would be at his door at any moment. Changkyun was trying not to pace in front of it, was trying his hardest to stay away from it. But it seemed like there was a magnet attached to it and he couldn't stay away. 

"Do you think we should've made him dinner? It's dinner time isn't it? We should make something. What do we have? We have nothing. We have squash. Does he like squash? I don't even remember. Maybe I can make him the jasmine tea he liked s-"

Changkyun's rapid fire questions to absolutely no one, as Hyungwon was busy cleaning his paw, were cut off by a knocking at the door and he swore he felt his heart jump up into his throat, so high that if he opened up his mouth, it would tumble right out. Gross. 

Hyungwon meowed at him again and he realized that he'd been standing there for far too long, thinking about his potentially puked up heart, and Kihyun had knocked on the door again. He rushed to it, looking down and adjusted his shirt a little before opening the door.

He was just as breathless as he was the first time he ever saw Kihyun. 

"Hey." Was all he was able to get out.

Kihyun smiled, "Hi. That plant trick was something else. I thought it was going to eat my hand or something." He brushed past Changkyun, setting a large bag down on the counter.

"It wouldn't do that. I don't think. I've never tested that." 

"Oh, great. So you sent a rouge, parchment delivering plant to my house?"

"Um," Changkyun closed the door and scratched at the back of his neck lightly, "Yes?" 

"That's a very you thing to do. Anyway, I got a ton of books for you. I swindled the librarian into not giving me a return date for them. So you have them for as long as you need." 

"I really can't thank you enough for this. Can I get you anything? Something to eat or some tea?" 

Kihyun waved his hand once, "Please. It was nothing. And some tea would be great, actually." 

Changkyun nodded and set to making the tea, trying to hide the light shaking of his hands. Kihyun said his hellos to Hyungwon, who meowed happily in reply. Probably happy to see a face other than Changkyun's. 

"You know," Kihyun started as he was finished the two mugs, "It was really a no brainier when you asked me to do this. He's my friend too. I've been bad at showing it, at offering any help. I'm sorry for that. To both of you. I mean, he's been burdened with this curse. But I think that I've forgotten that you've been the one working so hard to help him. As anyone ever stopped to ask you if you're okay?" 

The question startled him a little bit and Changkyun paused before turning around and setting one of the mugs in front of Kihyun and holding the other in his hands, enjoying the warmth radiating from the ceramic. 

"I um," He gathered his thoughts, "I guess not." 

Kihyun took a sip from the mug, "Well, are you? Are you okay?" 

He wasn't really sure how to answer that. If he wanted to answer it honestly. Maybe he should lie? Why was Kihyun even asking him this? It seemed a little out of left field. Sure, he and Kihyun had been friends for a long time, always having a comfortable dialogue. Maybe it all started to shift when Changkyun realized that he didn't just enjoy the way Kihyun laughed, he loved it. That he missed him so much when he wasn't around. That he thought about him day in and day out. Maybe Changkyun had made himself too obvious and made things weird, or uncomfortable, even distant. And that made Kihyun suspicious. 

"See," Kihyun started again and Changkyun realized his silence had filled up too much of the air, "Even before you became the mystical cursed witch on the hill, you've always been like this. You've always put other people before you. I don't think I've ever seen you do something for yourself. I came up here for the books, yeah, but I really came up here to just talk to you. I haven't really done that in a long time. And I'm so sorry," He was in front of Changkyun now, mugs of tea long forgotten, "I'm so sorry I've forgotten that you're still my friend. He's still my friend. And you both mean the world to me. So tell me. Just let it out. What are you feeling? You've never told anyone. You've never told anyone anything. I've read hundreds, maybe even thousands of books, and you're like one in a dead language that I can never translate. I'm so tired of dancing around everything. I just need to hear you say it. Say anything."

He was feeling an electric current now replacing the blood flowing through his veins. He was feeling gardens of both fear and love bloom in his chest where his heart once was. He was feeling short, rapid breaths leaving his lips because breathing was starting to escape him.

"What are you doing?" He barely got out. 

"Trying to figure out what all of this is. Trying to get some sort of answer out of you. You're infuriating, you know. The only problem in my life I haven't been able to solve." 

"Stop comparing me to difficult things in your life." 

"You are a difficult thing in my life, Changkyun. I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending like it's not there. I know this is sudden and probably unexpected but I feel like I'm about to burst into a thousand pieces if I don't do this."

He was playing dumb. Changkyun knew what Kihyun was talking about but just like Kihyun had said, he wanted to hear him say it. Wanted to see it unfold before his own eyes to know that it was real. That this wasn't just some sort of weird fever dream he was having. 

"Don't do what?" 

Kihyun groaned loudly, "God, you're the single most annoying person I've ever met on this planet." 

But despite that, he still stepped forward. He still closed the space between them and grabbed Changkyun's shoulders like he was the only thing holding them both to the ground. 

And maybe he was.

Because kissing Kihyun felt a lot like flying. And he understood why so many witches practiced levitation. 

Kissing Kihyun felt like his days sitting in the garden, soaking up the sun. It felt like floating in the ocean and falling from the sky all at the same time. Wrapped up into one overwhelming feeling that he was sure he'd never really be able to explain. But it felt like years of jokes and visits and goodbyes had all fallen together to meet in the middle, creating something new. Something exciting. Something worth while. Something that would, for once, make him feel okay again. 

And even when Kihyun pulled away, it didn't make him sad. Or angry. Or confused. He felt whole. 

"I was hoping that would be it." He smiled and Kihyun, once again, groaned.

The doctor buried his face in Changkyun's chest, a muffled, "You really are so annoying," escaping his lips. 

"All of those dramatics," He bravely looped his arms around Kihyun's waist, heart soaring when the man didn't try to move away, "That whole speech about asking me if I'm okay. It was all a ruse! A clever little ploy. You could've just told me you wanted to kiss me. I would've said yes." 

"If you don't shut up right now, I swear I'll leave."

Changkyun didn't believe him but he kept his mouth shut anyway. They stayed like that for a while, in each other's arms, nothing but their breath filling the air. 

He had a lot of questions. What did this mean for them? What were they now? How would this make things different? How long had he felt this way?

But he glanced down as Kihyun's slender fingers were tracing patterns in his chest and instead of asking, just placed a small kiss to the top of Kihyun's head.

Now wasn't the time for questions. He had all the answers he needed right here, in his arms, anyway.