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The atmosphere in the rest house continued to be indistinguishable from that of a sleepover. Of course, this meant that none of the members of the Iwatobi High School swim club were going to get any sleep, no matter how exhausted they all understandably were. Makoto yawned, as Nagisa turned to him, inexplicably energetic, and chirped, "Truth or dare?"
"Truth."
"How did you and Haru meet?"
He sighed. "Okay, this is potentially a long one, so brace yourselves. I'm not really sure if it's all relevant. If I were going to try to make it short, I'd say he just showed up one day, but… I guess that wouldn't mean enough, so…" Makoto looked over at Haru, eyes questioning. Haru's expression didn't change, but he inclined his head slightly, and Makoto took that as permission. He put on his best narrator voice, and began.
"Once, I loved the ocean, and the ocean loved me back. Oh god, that sounded cheesy. …and I was probably five, so there was nothing creepy about it. I know where your minds go, especially yours, Nagisa. I just loved wandering around in the surf, letting it lap gently at my toes, and occasionally wash up shells or small creatures for me to play with. I probably scared my parents more than once when I waded waist deep into the water, or right up to the edge of a pier. Anyway, fearless small child that I was, it was kind of inevitable that I eventually fell in while my parents weren't looking. The waves were rough that day, and I was reaching down to touch one from the place where my grandfather's boat was docked, and there I went, tumbling head over heels into the water like a hapless sailor in a fairytale. I remember somehow righting myself, and the water closing over me- wobbly sunlight through green, and a mist of tiny bubbles, and- not much after that. I imagine that there was a seal, sometimes, this mottled furry flash, coming out of nowhere, but I may well have dreamed it or something, since it doesn't really make sense, does it.
Anyway, I came to on the beach, shivering, close to tears as any five year old would be after something like that, and there Haru was, leaning over me, kind of like today. He had this white and grey coat- now that I think of it, that's probably where the seal came from, and he put it over my shoulders until I was warm and calm and my parents came looking for me. After that, I saw him around town a lot, and when school started up in the fall, there he was, in the same class as me. We've hardly been apart since.
Strangely enough, that whole thing didn't make me more afraid of water at all. It kind of made me feel protected, you know? And… that feeling never actually went away. Well, that typhoon put it on hold for a bit, but-" Sometime during the story, Haru had taken hold of his hand. He squeezed back. "I think it's back now. For good."
"Anyway, Rei, it's your turn," Makoto said, deliberately changing the subject and drawing attention away from the fact that he and Haru were still holding hands. "Truth or dare?"
_______
Some time later, on the boat back from the islands, something occurred to Makoto that he was surprised never had before. "I don't know why you had a coat with you the day we met. It was the middle of summer."
"It doesn't matter," Haru said, still staring out into the water. "Do you still have it?"
"Yeah, it's in my room at home. Not that it would fit you now, but if you ever want it back-"
"No!"
Makoto startled, and looked at Haru as if he'd grown an extra head- or facial expression, as the case may have been.
"No," Haru said, more calmly this time, and met Makoto's gaze. "I'll let you know if I need it, but for now… just keep it safe for me." He almost smiled.
_______
Just before he had met Haru, Makoto had gone to Misagozaki Shrine with his parents. He didn't remember later what they had asked for, but his own wish ran through his mind, over and over, in the years to come. Kindergarten was just around the corner- kindergarten, without his baby sister, or his cousins, or the other kids in the neighborhood, and he was terrified, however irrationally, that once he got there, he would have no friends.
"Please," he'd asked the water god, thinking of the clubs and activities he'd fantasized about joining when he could. "I'd like someone to swim with."
_______
It was the end of that year, when Makoto asked about the coat again. After all the business with Rin, it wasn't difficult to see where Haru's affections lay. He wanted nothing more than to swim with Rin, and, even in his wildest nightmares, Makoto wasn't about to keep Haru from what he wanted. Haru began spending more and more time with Rin, alone. Eventually, Makoto worked up the courage to tease him about his feelings, and received only a look of intense confusion in return, which quickly turned to what almost passed for panic, as Haru began pacing. Pacing, of all things.
"I don't know how I feel about Rin," Haru said, "but it's definitely… more. More than I'm used to."
Makoto put his hands on his shoulders, holding him still. "Do you maybe… love him?"
"I love you. I love Nagisa, and Rei, and Gou, and your parents. Rin's something different."
Makoto shot Haru a smile, and tried his utmost not to make it a sad one. "Maybe it's a different sort of love."
"I love water. That's a different sort of love."
Makoto's gaze turned fond. "That it is."
_______
They didn't talk about it again for weeks. it was business as usual for all five of them, and Haru still only left Makoto's side to visit Rin. There was no additional awkwardness, knowing that Haru might be in love with Rin. It was almost a surprise. Makoto had expected at least the occasional pang of jealousy, knowing. Thinking about it in the shower one morning, he realized that maybe it was that he had always expected to have to give Haru up, someday. A dam can only hold back a river for so long, after all. So, as he walked along the beach one day, it came as no surprise when Haru came to him alone, quiet even by his standards. Almost apropos of nothing, he said, "Rin's father was like me."
"Is Rin?"
"Yes."
A beat.
"Do you want your coat back?"
"I-" Haru paused, breaking eye contact and looking at the ground. "I might," he whispered. "But-"
"Hm?"
"If you do give it back to me, I- Rin and I…"
"We won't see you anymore, will we."
Haru kicked at the ground, and didn't answer for a moment. Then, he looked up again, into Makoto's eyes. "So, I need to be sure I'm making the right choice."
"There's a choice? I mean, I know you love the swim team, but you love Rin and water… differently, so-"
That was when Haru kissed him.
Makoto's thoughts were a haze of confusion, and it took a moment for him to realize that Haru was speaking, more than he could ever recall hearing him speak.
"I do love Rin, and being with him… He could be closer to his father. I could be closer to the water. I could… I could be where I belong. …but, I'm not completely sure it is where I belong anymore. I'm never without the water, even now, but- I'm never without you either. I'm not sure if it would be right, if I would be right, if I never saw you again. It's not just the team. It's you."
The words poured like waterfalls, and when Haru paused, either to gather his thoughts or catch his breath, Makoto kissed him back.
"You don't want me to go."
"I want you to do what feels right to you."
"You don't want me to go."
They sat down on the beach, then, and watched as the stars came out one by one, their hands entangled on the sand.
"Keep it," Haru said, and those words, even said so casually, had never meant more.
