Work Text:
The performance was good but not great. It was certainly impressive, to an outsider, but from the inside it felt a bit like a failure. To be specific, Jimin felt a bit like a failure. He’d missed a few beats in the dances, missed a cue for a singing part, and overall been about a second behind. He knows it’s not a big deal and that nobody in the audience noticed or cared, but still. He knows he can do better, so he feels a bit shit.
He comes off stage to find one of his boyfriends, either one will do, he just needs to be held right now and hear them say that nobody could tell. Unfortunately for him, he can’t find either of them and that just adds to his upset, so by the time he finds Jungkook talking to Yoongi, he’s a mix of frustrated and annoyed and that self-deprecating kind of angry, so he’s a bit short when he tries to get Jungkook’s attention.
Jungkook, of course, is in the middle of a conversation, so he asks Jimin to wait one second, which would be fine, except he said it in that tone, like, “Jimin just wait” and it felt like he didn’t want to talk to him at all. But Jimin, not being one to overreact immediately, followed up with, “Jungkook I really need somebody right now,” and Jungkook being a bit oblivious to what he really meant, said “okay, well, go find Taehyung then” and this time it wasn’t Jimin’s frazzled mind hearing this in a rude tone, that was actually how Jungkook said it.
So Jimin started crying because now, in addition to having a bad performance, his boyfriend snapped at him for asking for comfort. The moment Jimin left, Jungkook realized he’d probably fucked that up, but Jimin moves fast when he’s upset, and by the time he caught up with him, Jimin was wrapped in Taehyung’s arms, crying, and Taehyung just looked confused. He’s not really sure why he's is crying but it’s clear that he’s very upset about something.
When Jungkook gets there, he reaches out to touch Jimin’s back, to let him know that he’s here, now, whatever Jimin needs from him, but this just makes the boy cry harder. Tae looks at Jungkook, silently asking what happened and Jungkook looks guiltily back at him.
The backstage crew is milling about, the cameras are still rolling, and everything they’re doing is on display. The crew has tight lips and the film won’t air if the band doesn’t approve it, but the fact that they’re being recorded at all is not helping.
Yoongi, who followed Jungkook over, tells the crew to turn them off and the crew listens. Everybody but the band steps out of the area Tae, Jimin, and Jungkook are huddled in, and for the first time all day, there are no cameras watching them. Yoongi looks around as everybody leaves, and then the older boys all step out, too, giving the trio their space.
Jimin hasn’t stopped crying into Tae’s shoulder, and Tae has figured out that Jungkook said or did something to make Jimin upset. Everytime Jimin sobs, Jungkook looks like he’s being hit. Tae doesn’t look much better; it’s like his heart is bursting and there’s nothing anybody can do to stop it.
After a few more minutes, Jimin calms down enough to sit back and give Taehyung some space. Jungkook smiles softly at him, “hey, Jiminie,” he waits until Jimin looks at him, “I’m sorry.”
Tae keeps rubbing Jimin’s back as Jungkook tries to talk to him, but Jimin doesn’t seem to be listening. Jungkook reaches out to hold his hand, but Jimin gently pulls away. Jungkook takes it as a sign that he needs to say more than just sorry, but it’s hard to figure out exactly what Jimin is upset about because it’s not just that Jungkook told him to go away. He was upset before that even happened, and Jungkook just made that feeling worse.
Tae looks back and forth between the two, torn at the sight of both boyfriends, looking like everything hurts at once. He doesn’t know what happened or why they’re upset, and there’s nothing he can say to make either feel better, except get them to see each other. “Hey, Chim-Chim, do you maybe wanna talk to Kookie? He’s here and he’s listening, whatever you have to say.”
Jungkook nods, aggressively, “yes, Minie, I’m listening. Please,” the last word comes out sounding like a prayer, a call to the heavens, two steps from begging Jimin to talk to him. Tae gets up, ruffles Jimin’s hair affectionately, and steps out. The best thing he can do for them is let them handle this on their own.
He goes out into the main backstage area where the older boys are changing and eating snacks, waiting for them. They see that Tae's alone and sense that the other two must be having a moment together. Only Yoongi really knows what happened, but he keeps his mouth shut. He’s not one to interfere in other people’s relationships, especially one as complicated as this. Taehyung quietly sits down right next to Hoseok, who lets him cuddle up and doesn’t ask anything besides “are you hungry?”
Back in the corner, Jimin is crying again, but Jungkook is holding his hand, so it feels like progress. Jungkook is whispering quietly to Jimin, in what amounts to repeated pleas to stop crying.
When Jimin does, he looks up, into Jungkook’s eyes for the first time, and says, “I just wanted you to hold me,” and he breaks into soft sobs again, and if Jungkook didn’t already feel like shit, he really did now. Jimin just wanted to be close to him and Jungkook pushed him away.
“Jiminie, baby, hey,” he says as he tries to get Jimin to look at him again, “can you listen to me for a second? I really want you to know that I’m sorry.”
Jimin looks up, wipes his eyes, and does his best. “I kept fucking up out there and I just,” he sniffles, “I just felt like I fucked this up and I couldn’t find you but then I did and I was so relieved to see you and then you were, you were busy and I know I’m not the only person in your life but I just-”
He looks Jungkook in the eyes again, and this time it’s Jungkook that cries. “Kookie, you can’t cry, too,” Jimin whispers as he scoots closer to Jungkook, bridging a bit of the space between them.
“Minie,” Jungkook says through his tears, “I’m sorry that I told you to go away. I wasn’t thinking and I knew right away that it was a shitty thing to say because you were asking me for love and I can’t believe I told you to find it somewhere else.”
Jungkook covers the last few inches separating them, closing the space and bringing Jimin into a hug. Jimin has stopped crying, but his voice hasn’t quite caught on, so when he says, “I felt like you didn’t want to see me, like you didn’t want me,” it sounds like his heart is ripping in half, and that’s exactly what Jungkook’s is doing.
Jungkook pulls back from the hug and looks Jimin right in the eyes, “I always want you. I love you and I’m so sorry if I made you, no, that I did make you feel like that isn’t true.”
Jimin stares back, then leans forward and kisses Jungkook softly on the forehead. To an outsider, it would look like Jimin was comforting him, but they both know this is about Jimin needing to calm himself. Jungkook takes it as a sign that he's okay enough, that all he needs now is to regain his composure, and Jungkook knows exactly how to calm him down.
Jimin is a simple guy, really: he just needs a song to listen to and someone to give him kisses. Ideally, both Jungkook and Taehyung would smother him in kisses until he was laughing, but this was a moment between the two of them, so it was okay that Taehyung was missing right now. He would be there, later tonight, when they went to bed.
Jungkook reached up and gently held Jimin’s face, moving slowly so Jimin could stop him if he wanted, but Jimin let Jungkook pull him forward into a soft kiss. Nothing hot or fiery, but still desperately passionate. It was the other half of the apology. It was how Jungkook could make sure Jimin knew he really did love him. And Jimin got the message, loud and clear, if his kissing back was any indication. He leaned into it, wrapping his arms around Jungkook’s waist, stroking up and down his back, and Jungkook knew that Jimin was still a little upset about the night, but that they were going to be okay.
It had been long enough that Tae felt the need to check on the two of them, make sure that they were alright. The vans to take them home would be there any minute, so they kind of had to go soon, anyways. He was relieved to find the two of them, wrapped up in each other, smiling when he walked over. He knew Jimin would be done crying and that Kookie would have finished apologizing, but to see them make up so thoroughly, so quickly was a bit of a shock. The good kind, for sure, but still.
He walked over to them and stood behind Jungkook, lightly touching his shoulders to make sure he had their attention (this is Jungkook’s secret weakness: his shoulders). “The vans are pulling up now, so it’s time to head out.” the two of them nodded, “are you guys alright?” Tae asked, knowing the answer but double-checking anyways. The boys nodded again, then got up, hand-in-hand.
The three of them walked together to the back room, where the other four band members were waiting, Jimin looking like a hot mess, Jungkook only a little better, and Tae beaming between them, thrilled that the two of them made up without any visible issues.
When they got home, all seven boys went their separate ways: Yoongi and Hoseok wasted no time finding each other and a movie, Jin and Namjoon stopped in the kitchen to have snacks, and Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung went right to their room. Usually they would faux-argue over who got to be in the middle of the bed, almost always ending in a game of rock-paper-scissors for the warmest spot, but tonight they didn’t even talk about it. Tae and Jungkook curled in around Jimin, smothering him in soft kisses anywhere they could find, and Jimin knew that he was never unwanted by either of them.