Chapter Text
While out to buy groceries a few weeks ago, someone happened to force a parrot on Xiao Xingchen. He had wanted to return the parrot to its owner, who had run off instantly, but for obvious reasons had no visual information to ask for his whereabouts.
Hence he brought the grey parrot back to the coffin house where Xue Yang and A-Qing were waiting like starving chicks for their mother to bring back food.
“Daozhang, I think you made a mistake buying the chicken” Xue Yang teased while trying to poke the bird.
“Actually... someone gave me this bird. I wanted to return it, but it seems we’ll have to take care of it” he explained with a sigh while A-Qing fell to the ground like a dying swan, crying about her stomach eating itself out of starvation.
And so their life with the parrot began. Xue Yang tried his best to torture the bird, but his plans backfired by him almost losing another finger to its murderous beak. A-Qing tried to teach it to speak, but it appeared to have an IQ going into negative values.
However, one day while the three were for once peacefully eating dinner together, suddenly erotic moans erupted in the silent room. A-Qing jumped at the sudden sound, while Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen turned to stone.
“W-what was that?!” screeched the pure maiden in disgust.
“Ah... uh... that’s...” blabbered the eldest, trying to process what just happened, only for Xue Yang to save the day.
“THAT PARROT MUST BE FROM A WHORE HOUSE!!!”
Everyone, parrot included, stared blankly at the delinquent.
After dinner, Xiao Xingchen dragged Xue Yang outside.
“What happened to our deal about not involving A-Qing?!” he whispered harshly.
“You’re the one who brought back that messed up chicken!” Xue Yang fired back.
Of course Xiao Xingchen couldn’t stay angry for long.
“We need to find out how much the parrot has already memorised...”
“Why don’t we just eat it?”
“You can’t just kill anything that’s a nuisance!” Xiao Xingchen scolded, face palming, only to regret it when he almost poked his fingers into his empty eye sockets.
“Daozhang!”
Xue Yang held Xiao Xingchen tightly as he almost collapsed in pain.
“KYAAAAA!!! YOU REALLY DID TAINT DAOZHANG!!!”
The two men quickly spun around only to realise that A-Qing had... caught them black handed.
The next morning they ate congee with poultry.