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Hawks has come to learn that, when people are in a state of extreme emotion, it's best to avoid any verbal contact with them.
That's not him being an asshole, it's him understanding that he is awful at comforting other people. He can handle saving a building full of helpless civilians by himself, but when he has to give one-on-one, personal advice? It never works out. It seems that no matter how hard he tries to be friendly and empathetic, he has this way about rubbing salt into the wound.
Which is why, when he walks unknowingly into one of the League's hideouts and sees a familiar young blonde sobbing into her hands, he freezes.
Shit. Hawks looks desperately around for a way out, the one that'll make the least amount of noise, but he's having trouble figuring it out with how cramped the space has suddenly gotten. He looks at her, sitting in the middle of the room, slumped over a dusty table with her face buried in her arms. Despite being muffled, her crying has reached a volume where it's echoing softly off of the concrete walls.
He feels the opening of the hallway behind him, and he figures if he places his feet correctly and positions his wings just right...
His shoes crunch on bits of concrete, and instantly, Toga whips her head up to stare at the sound's source. Tears are streaking from her eyes at an unstoppable rate, the features of her face twisted in an unflattering expression. Hawks only hopes that the nervous smile that drags along his cheeks doesn't appear as a terrified cringe.
"Toga," he states, already feeling his comprehension of healthy and empathetic interactions fly out of the window of his brain. Shit, god damn it.
Toga wastes no time in displaying her miseries for Hawks. "I have nothing left to live for!" she blubbers, her words hiccuping between every syllable. She slams her face back down into her sleeves, bawling louder than before.
"Hey..." Hawks starts, already feeling his heart pound nervously. He takes a few steps in her direction, leaning over her bent frame. He can feel the metaphorical chains of this impending conversation wrapping around him, pulling him closer. "Don't... say things like that." She doesn't respond, choosing to continue her howling.
Wincing with the knowledge that he'll regret it, Hawks questions, "What's wrong?"
It takes her a few moments to gather the strength to respond. She attempts to speak a few times, and as she does, Hawks pulls up a rickety chair next to her. He hopes sitting with her is the right way to calm her down, but the second he takes his seat and his eyes are on her, that sets her off. "I-I saw my crush kissing somebody else today!" Toga wails, throwing her head back dramatically and openly weeping.
Oh. "Oh." Hawks awkwardly strains his feathers to gently pat her shoulder. She leans slightly into his comforting touch, sniffling.
Well, 'her crush' could really mean anyone, given how often the girl falls in love at first sight. Would getting her to talk more about it help at all? He figures he can't make it worse, so he prompts, "Where did you see them?"
She bites her lip, hiccuping out the words, "Th-They were in-in an alleyway, and it-it was really dark! I recognized Dabi though, his beautiful blue eyes are so unforgettable..." The last phrase comes out as a sigh, and then, fresh tears well up in her bulging stare. "But it doesn't matter because he clearly loves someone else!"
Hawks continues to uneasily stroke her shoulder with his feathers as she rides out her heartbreak. He's prepared to give off the generic spiel about how he's no good for her and he'll come crawling back when he realizes how good he had it, but information from earlier falls into his head like connecting puzzle pieces.
Dabi. Then, Hawks repeats the words aloud, "An alleyway..."
He recalls, not even an hour ago, how he had met up with the scarred villain behind a building after a patrol. Dabi gave him no choice, really, when he ambushed him and pinned him up against the musty wall. Not that I was complaining, he thinks, a blush warming his cheeks as he remembers how compliant he was for him.
Toga looks up, curious.
Then, before Hawks can stop himself, he states, "Oh, that was me."
His mouth drops open, but now he's on a roll, and he hears his mind whisper, oh, no.
And, to his own utter horror, he laughs.
He stands up, the old chair screeching against the ground. He starts backing away, rubbing the back of his neck while avoiding her stare.
"I-I guess that means I took your man?" he phrases it like a question, his nervous chuckling bubbling up in his throat and escaping in a hearty laugh. "Oopsie!" In the corner of his eye, he can see Toga's expression twisting into a mix of shock and rage, but he wisely decides he better get the hell out of dodge. He darts for the entryway, hearing her stand up as well, but propels himself as high as he can into the sky before she reaches him.
As he's coursing through the air, he groans with humiliation. He can already hear Dabi, doubling over with laughter at how idiotic he is. He then shivers as he thinks about what Toga would do if she managed to get her hands on him again.
Hawks looks down at the tiny buildings scattered below him. Better decide on my housing for when I have to enter witness protection program, he figures in despair. That one doesn't look so bad, I think I could spend the next ten years of my life there.
He rolls his eyes at himself. He brings a gloved hand up to his face, trying and failing to rub away the embarrassment. For being the number two hero, he could really use a lesson on how to give good, harmless advice.